"*yawn* sorry but i dont want to leave just yet because of this power but im gonna go to bed you wann join me"i said sitting up.
"Me in bed with you are you trying to make my dad kill you?"she asked.
"Do you wanna join or not cause i dont want you to freez on me plus you lpst the bet so you got to do what ever i say tomorrow"i said and she puffed out her cheeks.
"Fine but you better not tell know pony about this got it"she said and climbed in next to me.
"Alright not a soul" i said laying down i felt very sleepy i put the blanket over us i was out in a instant.

I SHIP IT!!!

death is not good or evil death is needed to keep balance

GRAMMAR BOI!

Grammer died in the making of this story. A moment of silence plese. Thak yu,

If you want help with grammar I am available

7608130 .. temped to correct the yu...

Dude you need an editor badly fix this along with the pacing and your good.

Whoa, whoa whoa, why so much grammar problems? O_o Being son of death doesn't give you rights to write like shit, sorry but truth hurts.

Euuugh... I Caaaaan't.... this could beee reaaaaallly good... but the grammar?... OH GAD... KILLL MEEEE...

Start over from the beginning with a high tier beta.

8398737
?

the grammar does not bother me that much but the formatting is getting to me a little. does the formatting get better as it goes?

8531396
Yes

I can see he’s the son of death because he reap the fuck out of grammar.

9509711
Ok that was good

. . . . . I'm tempted to call the FBI. The reason? Because of the sheer amount of crack in this story.

9696206
Thats new, but also kinda funny

lol

7460449
me too