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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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hm no comments on this chap-... damn did it again
Danm you cc-117 HAHA!!
You need to work on the logic of your fic, so you had a party of all the royal family the main 6 and the assasins ( remember that spike can turn into a big monster) the royal family has god like magic, the assasins are well trained, and the main 6 are arm to the teeth, YET somehow 3 sations with no magic, no weapon and no brains manage to capture them all???? Putting aside the fact that Donovan can use magic (same with the royal family) and that he can teleport, Blaze was also in the mix ( he’s supposed to be as strong as Donovan yet he was also capture). And the whole killing my family thing felt a little out of place due to the short interactions between Donovan and Luna so the reaction felt unrealistic. On the other hand if you had putted his two adopted siblings (which he actually have public affection interactions) and his child the reaction would have been much better because it would make sense that Donovan prefer to die that to kill the 3 of them.
I think I'm a bit hungry. Maybe my sister will be up for a game for the last piece of chicken.(reference jokes)