Where am I?
He could see nothing, nothing except the crushing, cloying darkness all around him. He could feel the sheer weight of it on his chest and limbs. So why wasn't he suffocating?
Why am I here?
He tried hard to focus, to force the memories to come, but the more he tried the more they eluded him. He tried to move but found that he couldn't even open his eyes.
Who am I?
He didn't know. He tried to calm his mind, hoping that the answers would come of their own volition.
Then something changed. A feeling of desperation overcame him, a feeling that he couldn't stay in this position for a second longer. Again he tried to move, and this time, he succeeded in pushing against the darkness.
Dirt, he thought to himself. It's not darkness; it's dirt.
Scratching, scraping and punching his way upward, he broke through to the open air, finding himself in a dark forest. He paused to catch his breath, only to find that he did not have to. He inhaled deeply but could not feel the air moving through his lungs.
I don't have to breathe anymore. I don't have to breathe and I just dug myself out of -
A feeling of horror came over him as he realized where that train of thought was leading. He stood and stared at the patch of earth he'd climbed out of. There could be no doubt; it was a shallow, unmarked grave. He pressed his trembling fingers to his neck, hoping to feel a pulse. There was none. He leaned against a tree and sat down.
"What in God's name is going on?" His deep voice rasped from his dry throat, yet he felt no thirst. He found that he barely felt anything, though he flexed his muscular arms and legs as hard as he could. "Who am I?"
"Jason Calbus Wright."
He jumped to his feet and frantically looked around, but he couldn't see whoever had said that name. It was familiar to him, somehow . . .
"It should be, it was yours."
And then he saw the crow, sitting on a branch of the tree above. It was large for a crow, with shiny black feathers, razor-sharp talons, and dark red eyes. It tapped its claw against a worn strand of hempen rope that was tied to the branch, then jerked its head toward Jason.
"Did - Did I hang myself?" Jason asked. The crow nodded.
"Why?" asked Jason. "Why can't I remember anything? And who or what are you?"
The bird did not reply. Instead, it spread its wings and flew deeper into the forest. Some instinct told Jason to follow it, so he did, running to catch up.
"Where are you taking me?" he yelled to the crow, "Please, I'm so confused!"
The crow merely cawed at him and flew faster. Jason ran harder, pumping his arms to propel himself forward, and only then realized how quickly the forest was passing him by. He remembered very little, but he was fairly certain that normal humans could not run this fast. Finally, the crow stopped at the mouth of a cave. It jerked its head toward the cave.
Jason entered the cave, finding that the interior was lit by bioluminescent mushrooms. There was a pile of rags near the rear, with a firepit in the center and scraps of rotten food off to the left.
"Was this my home?" Jason asked himself. If it was, he'd been leading a pitiful existence. He knelt down by the pile of rags and picked one up to get a better look at it.
The pins and needles stabbed into his flesh while that damn cat clawed at his legs. He opened his mouth to beg for mercy, to assure her that he meant no harm, but Rarity wouldn't listen. She threw more of her supplies at him even as he ran out of the boutique. She shouted something about him being a "boorish, lanky creature" as she slammed the door.
Jason threw down the rag in fright, the memory raging in his head like a swarm of bees. He stumbled over and fell into the fire pit.
His muscles contracted so hard he thought the bones they were attached to would crack from the strain. He twitched uncontrollably as he tried to run, to get away from her, but Rainbow Dash had him in her sights. She fired another bolt of lightning at him, weaker this time, and yelled, "Take that, monkey-boy!"
Jason stumbled to his feet, tears streaming down his face. He didn't want these memories anymore. He turned to run out of the cave, but he stumbled again and fell among the remains of his food.
His ribs felt like shattered gravel, there wasn't a single inch of him that did not hurt, and Applejack still pounded away at him with her strong legs. "That'll teach ya to steal from my farm!" she yelled, kicking his head for good measure. He opened his mouth to explain, that he'd only taken a few apples because he was starving, but Wynonna ran up and started biting his face, tearing his lower lip.
"NO, PLEASE, NO MORE!" screamed Jason as he crawled on his hands and knees out of the cave. Other memories came to him; Fluttershy fainting or pretending she wasn't home when he needed medicine, Twilight's refusal to let him into the castle to speak to her, Pinkie Pie constantly avoiding him when just a single laugh would brighten his day. Jason curled into the fetal position and continued to cry.
"Why?" he said between sobs, "Why, why, WHY?!" In the three years he'd been there he hadn't done anything wrong. Why had they been so cruel to him?!
He felt a soft tap on his shoulder and looked up to see the crow standing next to him. Its eyes shone with a paradoxical combination of sympathy and scorn.
"Do you really want to know, Jason?" it asked him. "Though knowing may give direction and purpose, it will only make the shroud of sadness that sits 'pon you weigh heavier."
Jason wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, took a shaky breath, and said, "Please, tell me. I have to know everything."
"Very well," said the crow. It placed its head against Jason's forehead.
And Jason knew.
Good start for the story I want to see what happens next
Not bad, can't wait to see more
A "The Crow"-crossover AND a continuation of "Ending"? Alright, I'll admit I'm curious.
First chapter's too short for me to get a good enough impression, but I'm going to keep my eye on this and see where you take it.
A little puzzled over how he came back if it was suicide, since "crows" are always the victims of cruel and unjust murders and are resurrected in order to mete out justice/vengeance against those responsible.
Since you've said the rating isn't for violence I'm guessing he won't be going on a roaring rampage of revenge like in the movies and comics?
If so, good, but I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens.
Like I said, I'm intrigued and will wait for more.
What is this a crossover of?
I'm in it for now but the second sight of forgiveness and I'm dumping it.
7484136
That would just be it... you would or won't be expecting it? Why read something if you know how it will end? Let him decide... shows promise. Whatever path he takes I won't take my like because of that. That would only happen if suddenly Halo warships and Smurfs starts a war against the Equestrians and all hope will lie in the protagonist... actually. Somebody, write about it. Sounds like an epic story.
Very interesting. Well done, dude.
7484136 Same here, I'm not here for forgiveness nor cop outs like A New Ending did.
Now this fic holds great promise, follow it i shall.
7484166 One, there too damn many of that as is and two it should definitely NOT happen in a The Crow crossover. That a**-kicker ain't about forgiveness but vengeance and nothing purely but.
7484329 Wouldn't work anyway for a cross like this, The Crow ain't about forgiveness but delivering otherworldly punishment on those who caused his grief stricken death in the first place.
7484472 Now THAT's what I'm looking for.
7484128
"The Crow." I would have thought that was obvious.
7483763
7484136
I don't want to spoil anything, but let me assure you that NONE of the Mane 6 are walking away from this unscathed. Jason isn't going to give them any less than they deserve.
7484585 Let this be the one where he gets proper vengeance then.
7484611
That's precisely why I'm writing this; I'm tired of Ending-verse stories where he doesn't get his pound of flesh.
7484585
That makes me a bit... torn.
The biggest problem I've had with the entire Ending-verse so far is that I don't think all of the mane 6 are in the wrong.
Rainbow and Applejack were definitively in the wrong and could have killed Jason with their actions (and with AJ, I kinda can see her reasoning once he starts stealing apples, even if it was to keep himself from starving; I still think she was wrong and she used excessive--and potentially deadly--force, but she was defending her livelihood. The first time she did it though, it was without provocation or cause, so once again: wrong)
Twilight was mostly just dismissive and insensitive to him. Some stories (like "It never really ends") fleshes out her motivations and makes her more actively involved in Jason being ostracized by the ponies and more of an antagonist, but without that I don't know if I would call her a villain.
Rarity was just a huge bitch, and probably deserves a slap to the face but that's about as far as I would go. If being an asshole to someone was all the justification one needed to seek vengeance, there would be a lot less of them in the world.
Fluttershy and Pinkie though, all they did was not wanting to be friends with him. Hurtful, maybe, but not evil or even cruel. This is the main gripe with the 'verse. Sure, "the evil of good people who do nothing" and all that, but being that vindictive against someone when they won't be your friend, especially when you're a complete stranger to them, just because you know pretty much all there is to know about them does not sound like the reasoning of a healthy mind to me; in fact, it sounds like the kind of reasoning a stalker would have. (I would even extend this reasoning to include Rarity and Twilight, unless reasons to think otherwise are given in the story)
These points are about the Ending-verse as a whole though and doesn't necessarily pertain to your spin on it. Sorry for rambling I've just always been kinda confused about these points.
You've at least given some thought into justifying his anger towards Fluttershy by having her deny him help when he needed medical attention; though I would make the argument that that's just negligence. I mean, is she even a doctor? At most, she's a vet. However, I'll refrain from making assumptions, since the story has just barely started, and instead just shut up and wait and see before judging.
And if this ends up not being to my taste, don't worry about a downvote or a rant or anything like that, I don't do that to stories just because they don't go in the way I would've liked them to; this is your story after all
Again, sorry about my ramblings. I'll be keeping quiet now.
No forgiveness, no mercy.
All shall pay for their sins.
Seriously, I'm dropping this story the moment there is forgiveness.
7485104 Then you don't belong here.
7485505
Now now, he's entitled to his own opinions and preferences.
7485104
You're speaking as if the Mane 6 are normal people with normal concerns. They are NOT. They are the Elements of Harmony, the living embodiments of the values upon which their entire nation was founded, ipso facto they are Equestria's spiritual leaders, hence why all of Ponyville followed the example they set.
Pinkie is supposed to be the element of Laughter, yet for no good reason, she allows another to cry.
Fluttershy is supposed the element of Kindness, yet her actions toward Jason can only be described as cruel.
Twilight is the element of Magic, in a world where, supposedly, Friendship IS Magic, yet she turned away one who wanted nothing more without giving him a chance.
The Mane 6 have violated the most sacred values of their race, and they have to be called to account for that, no matter what their reason.
7485716
They kinda are normal people though, being the elements isn't their jobs nor is it all that they are. They contradict their own elements plenty of times. Twilight doesn't become friends with everyone she meets, Pinkie can be ignorant towards other's feelings enough that she's managed to bring one of her closest friends to tears, and there are even moments where I feel that Fluttershy can be a bit inconsiderate.
And hell, unless the world is in terrible danger, ponies usually don't seem to give a crap about them being the elements, or even know that they are the elements. There doesn't seem to any kind of pomp or ceremony surrounding their roles (or even acknowledgement or respect, it feels like sometimes).
By the logic you've posted, you could argue that they wouldn't even have acted they way they did in "Ending".
All of this falls into head-canon territory though, so there really isn't any "right" or "wrong" logic, so please don't think I'm trying to make my reasoning on these points somehow seem more right. My head-canon is no better or worse than yours or anyone else's, friend.
Like I said, some of what they did was definitively wrong and they should be held accountable for it, but I suppose what I'm saying is that the retribution should be proportionate to the crime.
Should they feel bad for the way they treated him? Sure. If I found out someone took their own life because I didn't take the time to help them, I would be devastated.
Again though, in the case of Fluttershy, I wouldn't call her actions cruel, since they seemed to have been motivated by fear than any kind of malice, which is pretty much in character for her; like how she was terrified of Luna and Twilight had to practically force her to meet the princess.
Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with ponies being assholes and getting their comeuppance, as long as there is some sort of reasoning behind it, and not just "they're being assholes and now they're gonna pay". If a reason is given, I'm willing to accept it, doesn't have to anything fancy or super deep, as long as it's a reason.
I hope you don't feel like I'm bashing you or your story though, because that is not my intent, far from it. Like I said in my previous post, you have already given some clue to a deeper reason for wanting to get back at Fluttershy (even in my example about her and Luna, I don't think she would ever deny her help if she was in serious danger, so that was a pretty dick move towards Jason on 'Shy's part), which is all I could really hope for.
If I didn't feel anything for this story, I wouldn't be posting like this. Quite the contrary, I have high hopes for this and I'm looking forward to reading more, no matter which direction you take it. And like I said, it's your story, so do your thing, and do it like you want it to be, man.
7485875
Man, I should really just shut up now. I'm really sorry for taking up so much space in the comments.
7485875
I do so enjoy having someone I can converse with intelligently about this.
7486149 I could but I'm too lazy to get into specifics, appreciate the Watch too man. I am excited to see how a Crow Jason Wright gets vengeance for his suicide, especially since AJ wasn't there to show pity which means they're not sorry on how they acted.
honestly, now that this story is touching the fact that Jason is dead (or at least supposed to be) i'm more curious about the ponies, not just Applejack (who actually saw his death), but the entire town, i mean, the whole town WILL notice his absence sooner or later, and if they don't notice this by not seeing him, when they begin to see Applejack acting weird, or as weird as someone can get by seeing a succesful suicide.
then people WILL try to get answers, one way or another, eventually the will notice the reason of her newfound attitude.
the story is telling us that Applejack did took the time to bury his corpse, one just doesn't just "act" like nothing happened to:
1: seeing somebody killing themselves AND succeed.
2: bury the corpse of said somebody, by yourself.
3: living the rest of you life, knowing that somebody killed themselves in front of you and you could have done SOMETHING to prevent it, AND NOBODY ELSE KNOWS.
it just filled me with curiosity how you will picture the ponies at this situation, after all, Rumors can travel awfully fast in little towns.
7486345
She wasn't completely without pity. Who do you think buried him?
7486733
Oh, you're going to like what I have in store on that front.
7487784 looking forward for it :)
7487784 I'll give you that, though not enough to still show any real care. It is an unmarked and unknown grave after-all or rather was since he's back as the Crow.
Damn, you don’t have to say my full name. Who are you, my parent?
Was?
Wow
Damn
WTF?!
What will he see?