Some Clarity Among Friends.
Starlight's eyes fluttered open as her inner clock gently nudged her into wakefulness. As she was pulled from her dreamless slumber she was greeted by the sight of Twilight laying sprawled across the table, head buried in the pages of an open book. The princess was still fast asleep, cuddling the huge tome she had nodded off into. A weak smile tugged unbidden at Starlight's lips.
Slowly and quietly, so as not to wake Twilight, she slid off the sofa. Once down onto the rug she began to stretch out the tiredness still clinging to her limbs. Satisfied, she then gave herself a gentle shake to loosen off before turning her attention back to the sleeping alicorn. Curiosity compelled her to read some of the titles of the books strewn around Twilight. They all appeared to be law books, long and very boring tomes that only a select few would be interested in. Even Twilight had admitted to finding them tedious one rainy night while they had been looking for material to read. Already knowing what the alicorn was heading towards, Starlight sighed gently.
“Oh Twilight...” she murmured.
She had not wanted this. She had not wanted to cause all this trouble. It was her issue, not Twilight's or anyone else's, to deal with. Shaking her head, she started to quietly tidy up the mess of books Twilight had discarded in heaps all over the floor. Apparently, she could not even do that right as Twilight jerked awake.
“H-huh!” the alicorn moaned sleepily, head still buried in the book. She raised her head and looked around groggily. Seeing Starlight awake, she smiled warmly and closed the book she had been using as a pillow. Returning the gesture with a forced half smile that was all she could manage, Starlight continued her cleaning as she waited on Twilight to speak first.
“Good morning,” Twilight said gently. “Feeling any better?”
“Slightly,” Starlight answered, even though that response was fairly relative. Yes she was better in the physical sense but not so much in any other sense. She could feel the alicorn studying her closely, scanning her up and down for any sign of dishonesty. Apparently, she was somewhat satisfied because she replied with,
“That's good. I'm glad.”
Starlight only nodded, unsure about how to proceed with the conversation. Taking hold of the book Twilight had been using as a pillow, she lifted it up. Levitating the heavy tome in such a way that Twilight could see the title, she waited patiently for an explanation with an arched eyebrow. Seeing what her student wanted, Twilight sighed and gave a sheepish shrug. It would have been preferable to have this conversation a little later in the day, but she had neglected to plan ahead in case she woke behind Starlight.
“Sorry...I had a lot going through my mind and wanted to have a more informed opinion of the whole affair...” Twilight answered simply and honestly.
“I might regret this but what did you find?” Starlight asked, sitting down before her now shaking knees gave way from under her.
“Well... I'm not certain, the law is a multi-layered mess in a lot of places, but I'm pretty sure that what happened was illegal. While it is legal by Equestrian law to remove custody of a foal if a parent is deemed unsuitable you had a solid plan, income, and there was no way they could ascertain your suitability in such a short time. Plus it would also have to go through a court...”
“But because of their class, they were able to bypass all that...” Starlight finished, squeezing her eyes shut. Her jaw was clenched shut as she tried to keep the rising bitterness from surfacing again.
“No,” Twilight said firmly, mulling over her next words. She would have to choose them very carefully. “It doesn't have to be this way... I know it's been a long time but... I'm sure I can find them... if you want me too...”
Those words ignited a multitude of feelings within Starlight. Each one roared like a billowing inferno, trying to fill her up and overpower each other. Hurt, anger, sadness, exhaustion and bitterness all welled up within her in a battle to consume her. Did she want to go down this path? Thankfully, she was saved the trouble of answering by Twilight. Having noticed Starlight's overwhelmingly negative reaction, she continued,
“Or I can leave it lie...but if I do then they'll never understand that what they did was wrong... If you don't want to you don't have to get involved. You can leave it all to me and forget about this...but I think it will be better for you to have some answers. Again...if you really want to leave it be then I will and I'll never open another book on the subject.”
That elicited a choked chuckle from Starlight. The very idea of Twilight Sparkle swearing off opening another book on any subject was comical, despite the weighted situation. The slight merriment helped drain away the surge of negative energy which had flooded her. Even so, the conundrum posed to her was a difficult one. If Twilight was to search on her own, then it would only make keeping herself distant from the past more difficult. However, Twilight was right. If everything was left to lie then a little part of her would always be wondering. She would be unable to fully bury the past without some form of closure. In another ten years, it could resurface and she would look back and regret doing nothing now that the opportunity had arisen.
“I...I think it would be better to know something... but... I'm not sure... What if I do something horrible? ...Like I tried to do before.” she stammered, letting her misgivings be known. Too long had passed between them for her to have any reasonable excuse to hide behind a fake smile. Twilight had shown her many times that it was not the way of friendship.
“I'm sure you won't. You have friends to help you now...” Twilight assured softly. “I want what's best for you, but only you know what that is. Take your time, and when you're ready I'll help you through whatever you decide.”
“Thank you...” Starlight murmured, finding herself once more amazed by Twilight's selflessness.
“You're welcome. Now there's the other problem... How much do you want to tell everyone? They're going to notice that you aren't yourself... and if you do decide to go ahead with finding out more it will be impossible to keep this a secret...”
Starlight sighed heavily. Her friends did deserve to know what was going on. Though once again, she was loathe to burden anyone else with her own woes. Twilight and Spike had been an unfortunate accident outwith her control. To knowingly inflict this upon any group of ponies, particularly those who she owed so much too, the thought made her stomach drop sharply. Reading her student's thoughts from the pained expression on her face, Twilight said gently.
“We're here to help you Starlight... I know you think that you're a burden to us but you aren't. We know you would help us if the need arose and you have. You aren't alone anymore... Remember that.”
Twilight's words rocked Starlight to the core. She knew that the alicorn was right. If her friends ever did find out she was hiding this from them it would only hurt them more. While she was dreading having to retell the story, it would hopefully be easier the second time around. If not then Twilight would help her. That she could be so sure of such a thing made her heart flutter a little, driving away some of the crippling hurt that was coursing through her.
“You're right... I'll... I'll tell them,” she promised, determined even though her voice cracked.
“Good, though first why don't we have breakfast? You told me you didn't eat much last night correct?” Twilight suggested, turning and moving towards the kitchen.
Nodding in confirmation, Starlight started after Twilight. She fell into step with her teacher and immediately felt warm feathers resting over her shoulders. Grateful for the companionship, she sidled a little closer to Twilight. Together they walked towards the well-used kitchen. It was empty, as Spike was still dreaming in his bed. Most likely about the Power Ponies, if his usual mutterings were anything to go by. Starlight was glad that she had been able to convince him to sleep. He took his assistant job seriously, almost to the point of fanaticism and needed all the rest he could get.
“Hmm...so pancakes?” Twilight asked, starting to procure the ingredients from the cupboards. “Something nice and sweet I think. Or would you rather something else?”
“Pancakes are fine,” Starlight replied, igniting her own horn alongside Twilight.
Wrapped in a comfortable silence the duo transformed the bundle of ingredients into a pile of warm sweet pancakes. The menial task allowed Starlight to break away from the grip of her thoughts, at least for a short time. Instead, she focused on going through the motions of making breakfast. She became so enthralled in the task that she was oblivious to Twilight telling her that she was making far too many. By the time the alicorn had been able to push through to her, the surplus amounted to a mountain of pancakes towering above them. A rosy blush formed on Starlight's cheeks and she averted her eyes from the pancake pile casting its shadow over the kitchen.
“Sorry,” she apologised, drawing out the word and trying to compliment it with her most remorseful face.
Merely shaking her head, Twilight extracted what they would need and stored the remainder of the mountain away in the pantry.
“Don't worry about it,” she said with a grin, passing Starlight some syrup. “Pinkie will go through them in record time. She'll probably just view it as a challenge.”
“That just makes me imagine Pinkie and Rainbow having a pancake eating contest,” Starlight mused, allowing the image to form in her mind. It was a rather amusing prospect. “Though I don't think Rainbow would be much competition... No offence but Pinkie's stomach is...”
“Pinkie?” Twilight finished, as Starlight troubled to find a suitable descriptor.
“Yep,” Starlight almost chirped, feeling a momentary lightness before sinking under the weight of her emotions once again. Sighing heavily she looked to Twilight with a half-lidded, dull gaze.
“Sorry... I know you're trying to cheer me up but I just can't...”
“It's fine,” Twilight replied. “It'll take time. It always does when deep wounds like this are reopened. And I won't lie... if you decide you want to try and dig up the past again it will only get harder.”
“I know...”
Seeing that her friend was once more teetering on the brink of tears, Twilight decorated the pancakes with as much syrup and cream as she could feasibly see a pony eating. Then she offered the sugary breakfast to Starlight. With a wordless nod to express her gratitude the mare started to eat. Her motions were slow and heavy, but the food did bring a little spark of life back into her eyes and colour back into her face.
As the sugary rush suffused her, Starlight did start to feel her strength return. The energy contained in the sweet treats started to combat her exhaustion. Suddenly ravenous, she devoured the entire stack of pancakes. When the plate had been polished clean of every crumb to an almost sparkling gleam she turned to Twilight, a newly kindled flame in her sapphire eyes.
“I think it's time I told our friends my most closely guarded secret.”
Despite her newfound courage, more than three hours passed before Starlight was able to rally the strength to face her friends. The meeting was then called by Twilight while Starlight readied herself in the throne room. Spike insisted that Starlight used his throne while he would share Twilight's, rather than standing as she normally would. No amount of protest would sway him, so she took the offer without much fuss.
When Twilight returned with their friends, everyone almost immediately caught on to the sombre mood in the room. Even Rainbow Dash, who would usually make some joking remark about how the meeting was interrupting something, held her tongue.
“Is everything okay?” Fluttershy asked, focusing her attention on Starlight and Spike.
The only response Starlight could give was a weak nod which subconsciously morphed into a shake of the head. Before Fluttershy could say anymore, Spike gently motioned for her to sit. The pegasus complied reluctantly. When everyone was situated, Twilight addressed them.
“Thanks for coming everyone. I'm sorry to call you all here at such short notice but Starlight has something that she needs to say... It's not going to be easy on her so please keep all comments until after she is finished.”
“We will,” Rarity promised softly, speaking on behalf of everyone.
Twilight fell silent after that, leaving all attention firmly on Starlight. The unicorn felt herself wilt under the intense gazes being directed at her. Some gentle encouragement from Twilight once again gave her the push she needed. Taking a long, slow, deep breath to steady herself, she started to speak.
The story was just as painful to tell as it had been the first time, if not more so now that the memories were raw and fresh. At three points Twilight had to take over to allow Starlight to compose herself. Aided by Spike, she also made sure that there were absolutely no interruptions- though they need not have. No one made a sound, keeping perfectly quiet and patient for Starlight's sake. For the young dragon, hearing the full story for the first time caused anger to settle in his gut and bile to rise in his throat. To watch Starlight struggle through the story, he could scarcely imagine just how painful the actual events had been... Only Twilight holding him to her chest and enveloping him with her calming presence prevented him from breaking his own vow of silence.
Finally, Starlight was finished and able to fall silent. As she sat quietly, waiting for their incoming reactions she studied their faces. Stunned speechlessness was mixed with horror, disgust and also overwhelming sympathy. Fluttershy was the first to move, while the others still tried to find their voices. Needing no words the pegasus quietly came around to Starlight and wrapped her hooves around the mare's trembling shoulders. Pinkie Pie was quick to follow Fluttershy's example. Starlight returned both gestures, ignoring the tears stinging her eyes. As both mares continued their display of affection she fixed her gaze on the remaining three ponies. Rainbow Dash was the first to open her mouth.
Slamming her hoof into the table, the blue pegasus growled. “It's a good thing you erased their names because it wouldn't be you that they'd need to be worried about.”
Applejack had to leap into action to prevent Rainbow from launching herself out of her seat. Grabbing a hold of the multicoloured tail, she held on with all her might. The pegasus struggled for a moment before relenting and floating back down into the throne. Satisfied that the speedster would not do anything rash, she let go and spoke up.
“We can't just go about this bursting in with hooves kicking. All that'll do is get somepony hurt and there's enough of that been thrown around already. We'll help you however we can Starlight, I'll make a promise to that.”
“It's appalling,” Rarity was finally able to force out. “To think that ponies would treat you like that... I am so sorry you had to go through that darling... If there's anything we can do, just ask.”
“Thanks...” Starlight replied, giving Rarity and Applejack each a nod of gratitude. To Rainbow Dash and Applejack she said. “I've learned that revenge only spirals out of control. I let myself become wrapped up in my thirst for it and destroyed Equestria seven times over... It is not something you want to let get a hold of you...”
“Yeah, you're right...” Rainbow admitted, deflating and flopping down onto the table. Fluttershy moved around the gathering of ponies and gently started to stroke her oldest friend's back comfortingly.
“Have you thought about what you want to do?” Rarity asked, breaking another heavy moment of silence. “You did mention that Twilight suggested you try to find them.”
“She did,” Starlight muttered, casting a sideways glance at the alicorn.Turning her attention back to Rarity and the others, she voiced her insecurities on the subject. “However, I'm not all that sure I'd be able to handle it... I get that they shouldn't be allowed to just get away with it...but it's been eleven years. The foal has grown up not knowing me, and might really be better off... I don't see how dragging it all up again would help...”
“Well, it would help you,” Pinkie put forward, gently pressing her head under Starlight's chin and nuzzling her. “I mean if you just leave yourself wondering then this will just come back up again. Isn't it better to deal with it now and then leave it lie for good knowing that everything is okay?”
“That's true...”
She had already had those exact thoughts, but hearing Pinkie Pie put it that way made the decision a little easier. There would be no need to stir old wounds if she did not have to. As long as everything was good and well than that would be that. She could just put the past behind her knowing that it had all worked out for the best. All doubts that had been tearing at her for eleven years would be dispelled. Perhaps it was selfish of her, but she knew that it was the only way. She had to know that everything was going fine. She also felt duty bound to prevent this from ever happening again. The choice had been obvious all along, it just took seven friends to help her realise that. Hiding from her past was no longer an option.
“Let's see what we can do...” she said eventually when she had suitably gathered her thoughts enough to finalise her decision. The next part she said with such conviction that Twilight was convinced not even Discord would challenge her. “But we have to be discreet, careful and proper. This can't be just a revenge mission... I refuse to ever let myself or anyone else go down that path again.”
“Got it,” Rainbow replied firmly, trying to make amends for her earlier outburst. Twilight meanwhile was swelling with pride at just how much Starlight had learned in her short time with them. Her past mistakes were gradually becoming a strength, rather than the heavy iron shackles they had been before.
Starlight nodded, before finding herself at a loss for what to say next. A weight that she had carried for eleven years felt alleviated. Now she felt a lot more confident about the days to come, all thanks to her amazing friends. It also turned out that they knew the perfect thing to say next.
“So, now that that's over,” Pinkie said, a grin spreading over her face. That was just about enough sadness for one day in her opinion. Now that everything was out in the open, it was time for her to dissolve the tension in the air and make everyone a little happier. Pinkie Pie style!
“How about we throw cupcakes at Starlight again!”
For three full seconds the lilac unicorn could only blink, her jaw hanging open. Twilight, Rarity and Applejack all looked ready to berate the bubbly earth pony. Then Starlight began to laugh. It was an almost maniacal laughter, born from her body's need to just release all the pent up negativity as something positive. Several minutes passed before she was able to resurface. Still gasping for air, she coughed out,
“Last one to hit Pinkie Pie has to clean the castle afterwards!"
So saying, she materialised a large pink fluffy pillow in a flash of her magic. Seeing the imminent soft, plush assault she was about to receive Pinkie raced off, giggling. Only a moment later the pillow thudded against the door frame. Everyone took their cue and started to scramble to the bedrooms to load up on ammunition. Twilight followed Starlight's example and conjured up three plump pillows to chase down her eccentric friend with. Taking a moment to survey the chaos she had initiated, Starlight broke out into a warm smile. She would not trade these friends for anything else in the world. No matter how difficult the next few days would be, everything would be fine.
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Oh my god I love this story! What will happen when Starlight finds them? Will she? What about the foal is it a colt or filly? Oh! I hate waiting for updates when this is SO GOOD!!
7440096 Those are things that you are just gonna have to wait and see. Unless you want spoiled.
Thank you for the kind comment. I'll try and get the next update up as soon as possible.
God I love the way you write Starlight
7440640 Well she is the reason I'm even writing so I may as well do her justice. Glad you enjoy.
7440641 of course, but I was also just referring to how you write her across all your stories. In my head I like to think they all take place in the same universe
7440834 That would be interesting. They all technically could. The only snag is that in this one I aged everyone up a fair amount, like 5 or 6 years in human ages. However other than that they could all take place in the one universe yeah. I tend to think of them as separate, with Starlight's Adventures being the more cohesive set of stories but that's just me. Everyone else is free to have their own ideas and thoughts. I welcome it actually. I can't think of everything.
It might also help that every one of my recent stories has featured my favourite lilac unicorn as the main character.
Anyway, thanks for the compliment. Hopefully I can keep up the standard.
7452067 Like Starlight said, this isn't going to be all about revenge. But yes comeuppance will be served. I'm not 100 percent sure what yet myself.
hmmm let me read this story it seems instresting
I hope glimmy finds her child
7492582 I think I know what you're talking about, and no. Nothing untoward happened at that part in the story. The only negative part was the taking of the foal.
How old is Starlight in this universe? Given how long ago these events happened she must be quite a bit older than Twilight, because I don't think she's that old... maybe mid-twenties. Would that make Starlight probably in her early to mid-thirties? It sounds like this would have been a fairly young pregnancy, but maybe I'm misinterpreting it.
The age difference just seems like it would make a strange dynamic between Starlight and Twilight.
I take it that pillow was once a cupcake?
This story needs the sad tag. Seriously. When a story is able to make me almost cry in it's THIRD chapter alone, it classifies as some heartbreaking stuff. I make this claim because I am one hell of an emotionaly jaded and cold individual. It takes a lot to get me, and this chapter got to me. Needs sad tag. Go.
Especially from AJ.
I do wonder who starlight’s child is, tis a mystery oooh