Plans Made With Honesty
Quietly, Rainbow closed the door to her cloud home and stepped out to greet a chilly sunrise. Celestia's sun had not quite warmed the air and Rainbow's wings tingled as a result. Stretching the sleep from her feathers, Rainbow spread them wide and launched herself into the sky. Catching a lazy morning updraught, she angled herself towards Ponyville and began her descent.
Rising so early felt alien to her. Despite all of her Wonderbolt training, this was still a crime against her nature. She was going to have to extend her nap time by at least an hour after this travesty. After only about a minute she had alighted in Ponyville, still grumbling about her predicament. Her warm, soft bed called her back, a relentless melody that she struggled to resist.
Her temptations were cut off by a light giggle. “Up here!” a voice called, snapping Rainbow's gaze skyward. The very reason she was up at all was waving at her from the balcony. Deciding to get a small bit of friendly revenge, Rainbow drove her wings downwards and surged upwards. The buffeting winds she whipped up in her wake had the desired effect and a small yelp told Rainbow her plan had succeeded. With an undisguised smirk of satisfaction on her face, she touched down neatly onto the large platform.
In the process of dusting herself off, Twilight heard the light taps of hoof on crystal and turned an unimpressed glare Rainbow's way. All it did was widen the cyan pegasus' smirk and she had to concede defeat. She smiled softly and gave her wings one last shake. “Thanks for coming. I know how much you like your sleep.”
“You owe me for dragging me out of bed this early, I said I wanted to talk...not that I wanted to talk before sunrise.” the cyan pegasus announced, maintaining a disgruntled pout for a few moments before turning it into a smirk. She was mostly joking but a trip to the Hay Burger later where she was not paying, she would not say no to.
“True, but you also didn't say no either.” Though she knew Rainbow was playing with her, Twilight could not resist being technical. It also never hurt to be prepared, in the event that Rainbow really did arrive a little irate. “Breakfast is inside. I figured you would skip it to get some extra sleep.”
Predictably, Rainbow rushed past her at the mention of breakfast. Unfortunately, Twilight was unable to escape the cyan mare's trajectory in time and ended up on the floor for the second time that morning. Muttering under her breath, mostly about the need for certain ponies to watch where they were going, she picked herself back up and made her way through the large glass doors.
Closing the cool morning air out of her library, she was immediately greeted by the sounds of Rainbow noisily crunching on a piece of toast. With Spike still asleep it was the easiest thing to make in bulk. Fortunately, Rainbow seemed content to wolf it down. As if in response, her own stomach let out a small gurgle. Giving in to her body's desires, she took a piece of the now lukewarm breakfast for herself. Once she was settled into a large, comfortable armchair she cleared her throat, so loudly that a dry tickle was left behind in its wake. “So, shall we begin? We have a lot to talk about.”
“As long as you don't mind me eating while we talk.” Without waiting for an answer, she started on her second piece, still making more noise than Twilight would have thought any single piece of food could produce.
Her eye twitched at the assault on the quiet of her library but with Rainbow, it was something she was more than used to. “If you must. I'm sorry I asked you here so early but I would rather get this all done before everyone else wakes up. I think we need to look at this from a narrower perspective.” She hated not involving her friends when they were already involved, but too many different ideas were sometimes difficult to dissect. As the most involved outside of herself, Rainbow was the one she needed to talk to one on one.
“Yeah, I guess I can forgive you this time. Just don't go getting any ideas. My sleep is important to help maintain all of my awesome.” Eyes closed, she tossed the remainder of her toast into the air and leaned her head back, catching it neatly. Her cocky grin faded slowly, into a more sombre expression. “I can't believe I'm saying this but I guess there are some things more important than sleep.”
Twilight's lips twitched into an amused smirk. “Don't worry, I won't tell anyone you said that.” Like Rainbow, her mirth was quickly snuffed out by the weight of their current situation. She pressed her hooves together and released a thoughtful hum, trying to best think of how to start. As painful as it was to admit, they had all been in the wrong, blinded by good intentions. She was surprised when Rainbow was the one to speak up first, stealing the words from her mouth and putting them out. Perhaps a little bluntly, but the point was plain.
“We really messed this up didn't we?”
Seeing no other answer, Twilight merely nodded slowly. “We were too focused on trying to get everything over and done with that we didn't look at what we were doing to ourselves. It's been a rough couple of days and we've all been making rash decisions. If we continue down at this pace then it's only going to get worse.”
“But we can't just do nothing!” Rainbow protested loudly, slamming a hoof down on the arm of her chair. The sound it made against the cushioned fabric was decidedly unimpressive. “We can't just stop now! If we do then everything we've done is for nothing! We can't do that to Scootaloo! Not now!””
“And I can't watch Starlight destroy herself! It's almost happened already!” Twilight snapped, threatening to rise and leap across the room. Across from her, Rainbow did the same, her daggered glare matching Twilight's own. Heat rose into the still air, as the seconds seemed to drag by. Then, as one, the pair sagged in their seats and broke eye contact, refusing to re-establish it. Rainbow merely dipped her head downwards and turned it away, while Twilight buried her face into her hooves.
The one to break the silence was Rainbow, though her shaky words barely traversed the length of the room. “Yeah... I...I get it. None of us wants that. I was there...” she swallowed, reliving yesterday's horror. It was why they were having this conversation so quickly. Despite having calmed that situation down, they were still teetering on the edge. “I just... I don't want...” she trailed off, allowing Twilight to pick up where she left off.
“I know you don't want this to be for nothing... It won't be. But if we keep going, then Scootaloo and Starlight have found each other... but at what cost?” Lifting her head, Twilight returned her gaze to Rainbow. Feeling the weight of eyes on her, Rainbow turned back as well. “I don't want to find that out.”
Riddled with an onset of lead-weighted guilt, Rainbow turned away. She herself had told Starlight, again and again, to slow down, yet when it came right to it she had been pushing everything forward regardless. Seconds seemed to blur into minutes, she had no idea how long she stayed lost quietly in her own thoughts. Through the fog, a gentle touch on her shoulder caught her attention. From somewhere close to her left ear, she heard Twilight say softly,
“We all just wanted this over, without anyone getting hurt. Unfortunately, it seems that in trying to rush through to a solution we stumbled on more complications than we were ready for. None of us could have imagined that this is where we would end up.” Letting her eyelids droop, she let out a tired sigh. “None of us were ready for any of this.”
“But we can be more ready now...” Rainbow replied quietly, extending a wing and gently touching Twilight's flank. “And you're right. I'm sorry I was so focused on Scootaloo. I wasn't seeing the big picture.”
“Don't put all the blame on yourself.” Twilight offered her friend a half smile. “We all weren't seeing the whole picture. I'm the one closest to Starlight, I'm the one who should have seen this coming. She's been worrying about me, worrying about everyone else and been driving herself halfway across Equestria. If I'd just...”
She stopped her tirade when a cyan hoof began to roughly dig around her mane. With the alicorn's head suitable ruffled, Rainbow gave her signature brash grin. “What did you just say about blaming ourselves? We all messed up and we all just gotta fix this. Me, you, Starlight and Scootaloo, we can do this.” Before Twilight could retaliate, she launched herself into the air. Her leftover breakfast was pitched to the floor by the ensuing downdraught. “Now, is there anything left we have to do? Like, really have to do. Not just do because we want everything finished and wrapped up before naptime.”
Twilight frowned, taxing her considerable brain power in an attempt to consider absolutely everything. “I need to have a talk with Starlight...but aside from that, all I can think of is the orphanage. As much as I want to wait I'd rather not have any rumours sprouting all over Ponyville. If they haven't already.”
“If any do, Pinkie will probably be the first to hear about them, so I wouldn't worry too much. We can do the orphanage after breakfast, with all of us there. That's not up for discussion. After that, we just do our best. If that isn't good enough then we just need to go higher than our best. This...” Rainbow's face set and her tone strengthened from a breeze into a hurricane, “This is not going to happen again.”
While she appreciated the sentiment, Twilight's meticulous need for detail felt obligated to pick at the finer details of the statement. The word best implied a level of effort that was unable to be surpassed. Then again, time and time again they had managed to beat the odds and come out stronger than they had been going in. So maybe, just maybe, there was a hint of truth to that statement after all. Though, it could definitely be refined, a project for a later, rainy day perhaps.
Despite her offering of toast, Rainbow still decided to raid her cupboards. At least she was now rid of them before they started to foul, a feat Twilight would have thought impossible without Rainbow, Pinkie Pie and Applejack as friends. With that small worry dealt with, she set her attention on getting through the rest of the day.
With her head still swimming, Twilight meandered through her castle. The thought to try and catch a few more winks passed her by, already the sun had changed hue from a muted red to a glowing yellow. Perhaps she should resume her reading, there were far too many topics for her to waste the day away sleeping. The alicorn adjusted her course towards one of the castle libraries, only to pause abruptly after turning the first corner. Scootaloo was sitting in the middle of the hallway, appearing even smaller below the cavernous ceiling. Her being in the castle was no surprise, she had absolutely refused to leave after everything that had nearly transpired. Not even the lure of another sleepover with her idol had managed to sway her. Still, Twilight had not expected her to be up so early.
“Hey,” she called, catching the young filly's attention. After giving a friendly wave, Twilight trotted forwards. “Something wrong?”
Elated to have run into Twilight, Scootaloo waved vigorously. Someone who knew their way around the castle was a welcome sight. Her first night under the cavernous walls had been a stern teacher. It was every filly's dream, well almost every filly's dream, to live high and mighty in a castle, with abundant space, tall towers with amazing views, and servants to wait on their every need. Forgoing the lack of servants or just ponies in general, navigating Twilight's castle was a truly daunting task. Compared to the warm cosiness of the orphanage, the mass of crystal felt confusing and even a little unnerving Thankfully, she could put that behind her for now. “Nah, not really. I just thought I heard Rainbow Dash flying by. But when I came out to see she was already gone. Did I miss anything?”
“Oh, nothing much, we were just talking is all,” Twilight answered, trying to keep her response vague and casual. Her success was paltry at best, as evidenced by Scootalooo's look of utter disbelief. Currently, there was only one subject worth discussing that would provoke a late riser like Rainbow Dash to be up before sunrise was truly over.
“About Star- uh... mum?” Scootaloo asked, seeming to shrink as she did. She already knew, there was no need to ask and yet she did anyway. It was more than a need to know, it was a need to understand, to be let in the loop. After yesterday's near disaster, she needed it more than ever.
With the recent conversation fresh in her mind, Twilight exhaled slowly. Lying was completely pointless, and she now had a chance to correct her previous blunder. At least, it gave her a chance to broaden her admittedly narrow perspective of recent events. “Yes, we just wanted to be absolutely sure nothing like...that, happens again.”
Not sure what to say, Scootaloo dipped her head in understanding, It was something she never wanted to happen again either. She wanted never again to be stuck on one side of Equestria, hearing panicked snippets of something that was taking place on the other side. Something that, if it had come to pass, would have left her completely back at square one without even a memory to hold on to.
For a moment, Twilight let herself watch the obvious turmoil as it raged through Scootaloo. It would take her several books to fully express what she imagined the filly must be feeling about everything that had happened, or had nearly happened. However, simply guessing would not help to broaden her picture, as she had promised herself she would do. “I can't imagine how difficult this is. Do you want to talk about it?”
Scootaloo shot Twilight a look that made the alicorn feel like she had grown an extra head. “I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?” There as an almost imperceptible pause, which to Twilight was as telling as a direct statement. “I found my mum... I...”
When Scootaloo could not quite meet her eyes, Twilight reached out and carefully laid a hoof on the young filly's shoulder. As soon as contact was made, she felt Scootaloo sidle a little closer, seeking comfort without any real conscious thought.
“I don't know what to think sometimes...” Scootaloo murmured, speaking partially to herself. “I'm angry, but I don't know why.”
“It's okay to be angry sometimes Scootaloo.” In what she hoped was a reassuring gesture, Twilight wrapped a wing around the small pegasus. “Everyone gets angry, it just happens. What matters is how you act on it.”
“That's just it. I don't know. I don't know what I should do. I don't even know who I'm angry at. I don't think it's Starlight... it's more...everything that's lead up to this. Why couldn't they just leave everything alone? Why was I taken then put in an orphanage? What gives?! What gives them the right?” Her ending question was a shout that echoed sharply through the hallway. Listening to her own repressed anger shouting back at her, she sighed, “I don't know what to say. I don't know if the next thing that happens will be the last. I shouldn't even be saying this now...but...”
She trailed off, words failing her young mind. This was all just too crazy, with everything teetering on the edge of disaster. A day had felt like a year, and she was only at the very beginning of day two. Once more, Twilight's inner-self lashed out to berate her for being so narrowly focused.
“You shouldn't ever be afraid to express yourself Scootaloo, to anyone. Starlight wouldn't want you to be, and I'm glad you said this to me now, rather than trying to keep it to yourself. Doing so causes a lot more harm than it prevents if it prevents any at all.” Her pensive tone changed, rising in strength yet losing none of its softness. “My advice? Be honest with yourself and your friends. Otherwise, the truth only gets more difficult and complicated.”
“But I don't want to hurt anyone either. Ponies don't like it when you're angry with them.”
Acknowledging the point, Twilight tilted her head to the side. “That's true, but it will always leak through eventually. You can't hide it entirely, however much you want to. I've known Starlight for a while now. Being honest with her is always the best way, even if she has a hard time reciprocating. She'd rather hear what you have to say, no matter how bad it is...than let her own head try and fill in the blanks. It's...what caused this whole mess in the first place.” Twilight lowered her head, her reflection in the crystal one of regretful melancholy. Catching Scootaloo's eye, she offered a small smile. “No matter what, it's better to be honest.”
Scootaloo scrutinised the older pony, all the while listening to every word. It made sense, though words were a lot simpler than actions. Even so, they bolstered her, assuring her that she did not have to be ashamed of her feelings. Indeed, it was much the same as not being ashamed of her fear. Anger was something she just had, and as such was something she could deal with. With a genuine smile, she pushed away from Twilight and stood up. “Thanks, Twilight. That, actually helped a lot.”
“It's what I'm here for,” Twilight chuckled, moving to her feet as well. “Anything else you need?”
“Nah, I think I'm good now.” Scootaloo's head turned, a noise to her left startling her to attention. Almost all of the castle lay empty and unused, did it not?
As if to neatly punctuate the end of their conversation, the simple wooden door beside them swung open. Starlight's bleary eyes took several rounds of blinking to fully bring the two ponies into focus. It took her brain another moment to register that it was weird for them to be in the hallway, outside her door. Rearing her head backwards, she raised one eyebrow and gave them both a stare of unrestrained bewilderment. It was softened somewhat by the obvious purple bags hanging under her eyes. “Something wrong?” A yawn tried to cut her off, forcing her to stifle it with a hoof.
“No, we're just talking,” Twilight said gently, acutely aware that she was mirroring her earlier half-truth. Sometimes she wondered if these things were merely coincidences or if the many lessons she had learned were gaining a life of their own. “Sorry, I got a little turned around myself and didn't realise we were right outside your door. Did we wake you?”
“No, you just sort of reminded me it was morning.” Starlight pushed down another yawn. Her cheeks felt like elastic bands on the brink of snapping, so when the third rolled in she simply let it run course. The instinctual mass intake of oxygen calmed her seemingly incessant need momentarily. “Not that it feels like it. I'm...assuming I missed something?”
The idea of directly lying, thus rendering her talk with Scootaloo tainted, left a foul taste in Twilight's mouth. “Yeah, a little bit. We're planning on going to the orphanage, all of us, if you're up to it.” The last part was pointless, they all knew it. There was no way Starlight was going to say she was not. Twilight just hoped that with everyone there, the strain would be shared between them.
“I figured as much. That...sounds like as good a plan as any.” She offered a weary grin, none of which reached her eyes. Those same eyes found Scootaloo, who was listening intently. With far too much still to say, and far too much still to hear, all she was able to squeeze through the cracks was an exhausted, “Hi.”
“Morning,” Scootaloo replied, nodding politely. She would have said more, but her stomach interrupted her. Twilight's own apparently wanted to join in the chorus, causing all three mares to share a chortle. After giving herself an all too useless shake, Starlight stepped out into the hallway and angled herself towards the nearest bathroom.
“I'll join you at breakfast, once I wake myself up a touch.” Though it felt too empty and hollow to say, her inner-self whispered softly. I won't screw this one up.
***
Despite Scootaloo assuring her all through breakfast that everything would be completely fine, Starlight still likened the short trip to walking towards a ravenous Ursa Major. Many times she had been thankful for Ponyville's small town homeliness. Now, she would have greatly preferred somewhere like Canterlot, though perhaps not actually Canterlot, so that the journey would last longer. At least she could blame her infection of goosebumps on the stiff breeze rifling through her fur.
A light chuckle drew her attention downwards, towards Scootaloo who was walking backwards in front of her. For a moment as brief as a single heartbeat, a twinge of concern began to bubble within her. When it passed, she was left no time to ponder what it meant, as Scootaloo had started lightly admonishing her. “You gotta stop worrying. I told you, Merry Heart is the nicest pony you'll ever meet. Plus, you aren't the only one to have gone running out of her office.”
“Other ponies have teleported halfway across Equestria during what should be a simple talk?” Starlight asked, raising an eyebrow and cocking her head to the same side. Considering the few ponies that could teleport, especially any significant distance, she was not surprised when Scootaloo faltered and fell back into step with the group.
She chuckled nervously, scratching at the back of her mane. “Okay maybe not quite like that but there was one time where Mayor Mare went running out of the office that she almost broke the doors.” A small frown lined the filly's face and she became thoughtful. “Still no idea what that was all about.”
Whether the story actually helped or not, Starlight found herself overtaken by a brief bout of giggles. They were quickly silenced as her hoof touched the orphanage step. The door was closed, leaving her standing awkwardly in front of it. Before she could muster the strength to knock, it swung rapidly away from her touch.
Of the ponies gathered, the culprit was obvious. The resounding thud of a wooden door striking a wall caused everyone but Rainbow to cringe backwards in alarm. With her frayed nerves already in tatters, Starlight retreated as far behind Twilight as she could manage. Rainbow was completely unaffected by the penetrating glare that the alicorn sent her way.
“Rainbow, the door opens just fine without having to hit the nearest wall.” Merry Heart shook her head in mild exasperation as she walked up to greet them. Her wave was returned by Scootaloo, and Rainbow actually managed to look a little sheepish. “And to what do I owe the pleasure?” The question was more of a formality, she had a fairly solid idea what this was about. Her suspicions were confirmed when the mare she had met yesterday stepped out from behind Princess Twilight and cleared her throat.
“It's...about yesterday,” Starlight said softly, with a lot more confidence than she currently possessed. “I'd like to finish that conversation if you aren't too busy.” She cleared her throat and crossed her forelegs. “I...promise not to vanish again.”
Even as she nodded, Merry Heart once again began to study Starlight closely, trying to get a better measure of the mare. Every muscle in her body looked ready to bolt and, if it was possible, she appeared even more skittish than their previous meeting. Presumably, that was what the back up was for. “Of course dear. I admit I wondered if you would come back, though I was not expecting it so soon.” On how much she had been able to infer, she held her own counsel. “This way. I'm sure there should be enough room in my office for everyone.”
As she followed along, Starlight found herself breathing a little easier. The reception had been warmer than she expected, something Scootaloo was quick to mutter in her ear. Even so, she could feel her insides tying themselves in knots. Every so often they would unravel, only to twist and tighten into another contorted orientation. At least her stomach was empty when they were doing this. If it had not been, the aftermath would have been unpleasant.
Once again, Merry Heart led them into the office. As she had predicted, there was just enough space for everyone, though every pony felt the slight squeeze. Flanked by Rainbow and Twilight, with Scootaloo at her hip, Starlight sat down on the chair. Realistically, she could escape as easily as she had last time, but figuratively she was as penned in as she possibly could be. Those binds holding her to her obligation were more effective than any physical chain could be. As she had said, this was bigger than just her now.
The distinctive chinking of ceramic filled the room as Merry Heart began her ritual. Tea was the great calmer after all, and one she was in abundance of. Starlight fidgeted with her hooves, talking while still biting her poor, abused lip. “Uh...I...guess I should start at the beginning...quickly anyway.”
“If that's what you think is best,” Merry Heart responded warmly, simply continuing her task. Her intuition told her this was going to take a while, and she wanted to make sure it had every second it needed.
“Like I said, I lost my foal eleven years ago and... uh...well...uh.” Her tongue twisted in of itself, contorting her words and making any sort of annunciation impossible. No matter how long it took her, she was going to remain seated until she explained everything.”
Two hooves rested against her shoulders, while a much smaller one rested against her leg. “Actually, maybe that isn't the best idea. Uh... okay. I found out who Scootaloo's mother is because well... it's me. I was looking for the foal I lost and it...it led to her. ”
“I assumed as much,” Merry Heart said gently, placing several steaming mugs of tea on the desk for sitting down. The smell squirrelled its way into Starlight's nostrils as she pulled one closer. It remained away from her lips, it was more just something for her to hold between her hooves. She quickly swapped over to magic when the mug began to turn in her still fidgeting hooves.
Sensing there was more to the story, Merry Heart flicked open a file that Starlight presumed to once again be Scootaloo's. “Scootaloo's admission into the orphanage was something of a mystery. “We've tried to solve the mystery with her a few times, looking all around Ponyville and Cloudsdale. Nothing turned up, until now.” She was fishing, trying to gently coax the story out of Starlight without being too direct.
“You wouldn't have. She was uh...born in Canterlot...” Starlight answered, drawing her hoof into her chest. “It was um... not exactly planned and it gets a bit, well very complicated actually.” Well aware that Scootaloo was still present and listening intently, she turned to her. “You...don't actually have to listen to this if you don't want to.”
“I know, but I'm staying,” Scootaloo said firmly, flashing a cocky grin that left no room for arguments. With all of her stalling done, Starlight pushed herself to just get on with it. She would not get another shot.
Telling the story in a clipped, surgically efficient fashion made the process much less arduous, but even so, the end could not come soon enough. When it finally did, Starlight buried her head in the mug that Merry Heart had offered her. While she could trust her friends to be at least understanding, a complete stranger had no obligation. For over a decade she had kept this to herself, to Scootaloo's detriment.
In all her years, Merry Heart had heard it all. Parents unable to care for their children and forced to give them up, stallions who had no idea they'd ever fathered a foal or even cases where struggling mothers had thought giving up their foal the only option. This was more than a little off the wall but unfortunately a story not completely outwith the realms of believability, or her experiences. Sometimes, ponies were the real monsters lurking in the shadows.
A small sound shattered the silence Merry Heart did not realise she had been maintaining. Starlight's mug had shattered in her grip, flooding the desk with scalding brown liquid and sending shards of ceramic skittering across the floor. Barely acknowledging the tea burning into her fur, Starlight immediately began scrambling to save the papers from further harm. “S-sorry! My magic squeezed a little too tightly and... Sorry!”
“It's fine dear, really. I've spilt enough tea on those papers to fill an entire swimming pool,” Merry Heart tried to assure her, though her words fell on deaf ears. Rather, she simply sat back and watched as all of her now soggy, brown stained papers were lifted into the air and shook violently. The tea seemed to leap from the pages, only to instantly evaporate. Now in a more pristine state than they had been before their soaking, the stack of papers neatly placed itself back onto the table.
“Then again, perhaps I should call you for spillages. There will probably be another in a couple of minutes.” The attempt at humour coaxed Starlight's lips to twitch upwards. Merry Heart released a slow breath, bringing every eye in the room towards her. “Now that I know the full story, I have to ask. Where do you plan to go from here?”
“That...is the tricky part...” Starlight admitted, her frame seeming to shrink slightly. Saying it aloud made the reality all the more real. There was no plan, no proper course of action. She really had no idea. “Well...the trickier part... I...I don't know... Sorry.”
“Very few do,” Merry Heart offered kindly, taking a sip of her tea before absently flicking through Scootaloo's file. There was no real reason to have it out, it was just something practical she could do with her hooves to keep it from feeling like an interrogation. Technically, now that Scootaloo is no longer an orphan, the orphanage would lose custody of her unless we could find any reason to continue it.”
“What sort of reasons would cause that?” Scootaloo asked, pushing herself past Rainbow and reared up on her hind legs, front hooves planted firmly on the table.
Having never felt that excluding children from conversations, particularly ones that involved them so explicitly, was productive to their development, Merry Heart took Scootaloo's sudden interruption in stride. “Well...mostly it would be because the parent is unwilling, or considered unable to provide for the child. In this case well...” she paused, taking a moment to think of the most tactful way to broach the subject. Starlight beat her to it.
“The parent is a wreck with no idea what to do with herself, and teleported halfway across Equestria in a stress-induced panic...” she said scathingly, her words coming quickly and brutally. She noticed Merry Heart's eyes widen slightly, which put an end to her tirade. With no mug to hide herself behind, she had to make do with looking at her hooves.
“That is not quite how I would have put it.” Merry Heart replied, fluidly regaining her bearings on the conversation. “Nevertheless, I will agree that perhaps you assuming custody of Scootaloo fully at this time is perhaps not the best course of action. I'm assuming the father is... out of the picture?”
Thankful that she did not have another mug in her grip, Starlight simply nodded. Behind her, she felt Rainbow and Twilight stiffen. Only Twilight knew the stallion's name, indeed she was actively keeping it away from Rainbow. Everything would come out at some point, but Starlight wanted to be a lot stronger when it did. With all the forced calm of a thunderstorm sealed in a bottle, Starlight whispered, “Yeah. I guess that's one way of putting it. I don't actually know where he is, and at the moment I don't really care.”
Rather than delve into that can of worms, Merry Heart decided it was best to simply move on for now. That could be touched upon later. “As I said, usually under these circumstances we would want to give over custody as quickly as smoothly as possible. However, we do have to keep Scootaloo's well-being as the absolute highest priority. Protocol would necessitate an investigation which-”
“Well can't Scoots just continue to stay at the orphanage but have Starlight do all the other stuff?” Rainbow interrupted, not liking where the conversation was heading. A soft breeze ruffled Starlight's mane as the cyan wings spurred into action. Even with the limited room, nothing would keep a Wonderbolt on the ground.
“Rainbow! We can't just assume that...” Twilight hissed under her breath, once again going completely unnoticed.
“What? It isn't like Starlight is evil or anything. Spoiled Rich is allowed near Diamond Tiara isn't she? Look how that ended up.” Rainbow's face blanched suddenly. She looked down and chuckled apologetically. “Sorry, not trying to compare you to her.”
“I've read up a little,” Twilight cut in before Rainbow could blurt out anything even less tactful. She was woefully ashamed of how uninformed she currently was. Law and procedure was often an overcomplicated mess and she had barely scratched the surface. It felt alien to her to be so out of the know. “But I confess I'm not sure how long such an investigation would actually last. I'm not sure right now is the bes-”
“Hold up!” Starlight suddenly yelled, immediately silencing the entire room. Even the wind outside the windows seemed to quiet at her command. With everyone's attention away from their ramblings, she spoke much more quietly. “Sorry, I just... think we need to take one step back. Can I talk to Scootaloo for a moment? Alone.”
Rather than let someone else answer for her, the young pegasus piped up. “Uh, sure. We can use my room.” Slipping under Rainbow Dash's wing, she made her way to the door. Starlight simply took a deep breath and rather than try navigating her way out past her two friends, simply vanished with a loud pop. She reappeared a few feet away from her original position, barely avoiding Scootaloo in her landing. After a hasty promise to be back, she followed the orange pegasus along the hallway.
As Scootaloo closed the door behind them, Starlight found her eyes wandering. The room was simple, yet still packed to breaking point with Scootaloo. Vibrantly coloured posters of famous flyers and stunt ponies, none of whom Starlight could name, littered the walls. “Sorry about that... I just wanted to get a few things straight before everyone started rambling.” Even though she had been in this room on more than one occasion, now the feeling of being an intruder chained her to the closed doorway. Everything felt layered and overcomplicated as if she was trying to look at the world through a stained glass window.
“It was getting a little crazy in there,” Scootaloo agreed, plopping herself down onto her haunches. “That's sorta what adults do when things get weird.”
A snicker shook through Starlight, shaking away a little bit of her worry. She always enjoyed the Crusaders' innocence, it was what made them so easy to talk to. Being upfront to the point of bluntness, as well as being easy to read, left all the tedious guesswork and expectations behind. “Yes well...Twilight does have an entire throne room dedicated to that exact need.” She snickered again, hearing Scootaloo do the same. Quietly, she took another step deeper into the room. “So...uh...what are your thoughts on all of this? About well, everything.”
Scootaloo's head tilted upwards, a confused sparkle shimmering in her eyes. “My thoughts? What do you mean?”
Despite herself, Starlight rolled her eyes, sometimes child-like innocence went both ways, though in this case it was more out of veiled nerves than cluelessness. She knelt down, to keep her knees from shaking but more importantly to put herself on Scootaloo's level. Their sudden biological relationship epiphany did not change the fact that Scootaloo had a decent head on her shoulders. “I mean, what do you want to do, about all this? About well, everything. I... haven't really asked you. I mean we've talked but... everything's just... a mess in my head right now.” She groaned, wishing her tongue would just work properly, one single time. “Sorry, I'm not very good at this.”
“Not really,” Scootaloo quipped, a cheeky grin spreading across her face.
Lifting her head, Starlight sighed. “Sorry, what I'm trying to say is... I have no idea what I'm doing. Really, I don't. I wasn't ready for this eleven years ago and yesterday showed I'm probably less ready now. I just...don't want you dragged along just because of some blood tie that came up out of nowhere.” A glow from the side wall caught both their attention. A vibrant red colour tinged Starlight's cheeks when she saw the source. Scootaloo's precious scooter was enveloped in a glimmering teal aura and doing cartwheels in mid-air. Sheepishly, Starlight extinguished the flow of magic to her horn, letting the small scooter rest back against the wall. “Of the two of us, you're also the least...”
“Crazy?” Scootaloo finished, this little insertion earning her a piercing stare. It did nothing to curb Scootaloo's amusement, so Starlight relented. Either she was losing her touch, or Scootaloo was having a particularly bold day. Her interest in dwelling on the subject dwindled almost instantly, they had more important things at hoof.
“Yeah... let's go with that. Still, you haven't answered my question.”
A faint frown creased Scootaloo's brow, as she started to weigh her options. The idea of just pretending this did not happen or acting as if the blood relation meant nothing was ridiculous. Though she knew why Starlight had brought the notion up, she dismissed it immediately. Before she could properly articulate her thoughts, a small spark ignited within her. In that instant, she realised she had lied to Twilight earlier, and her mouth moved forward without her bidding. “I'm...I'm mad...a bit” she murmured, barely moving her lips. “At...well... you...” The words came out slowly, haltingly, as if every fibre of her being wanted to drag them back. They came out regardless, and she turned away to avoid looking at what wounds they would inflict.
The admission felt like a physical strike, causing Starlight to jerk slightly. At the same time, her stomach dropped like a stone. Her chest felt ready to burst, her throat tightened and constricted her breaths and her vision blurred with water. Then, a quiet calm washed over her, like the warmth of a glowing ember. Scootaloo remained vigilant in looking away.
“To be honest, I'd be surprised if you weren't angry at me...” Starlight said softly, leaning down and nuzzling the back of Scootaloo's neck lightly. It was a weird gesture, something she'd never have even considered doing before.
The soft fur of Starlight's muzzle tickling the back of her neck caused Scootaloo to shiver. It quickly wore down her defences, drawing her head back upwards. “R-really?” she asked shakily, not quite comprehending what she had just said.
Starlight nodded, now taking her turn to avert her eyes. “Yeah. If you said you weren't then you'd probably be lying to yourself. No pony is that perfect. Trust me, I know how flawed we can be. You have every right to be mad for what I tried to take away. At the time I thought it was the only choice, but it shouldn't even have been one.” Her ears pinned themselves to her head, though this did nothing to muffle what Scootaloo said next.
“I just don't get why you don't trust anyone,” Scootaloo muttered, again cutting straight to the heart of the problem without really planning to. “You didn't trust Twilight, me, or Rainbow Dash. That's why I'm mad. I'm not mad that you ended up halfway across Equestria, or even that you tried to cast that spell. I'm mad that you didn't trust us to help. After everything. Forget the being family, isn't that what friends are supposed to do?” Her gaze took on an accusing quality, mirroring everything Rainbow Dash had said earlier. If nature versus nurture was a debate she was interested in at that moment, she would have a fairly definitive answer as to which was more important.
Several of Twilight's lessons were echoed in that heartfelt speech, lessons that Starlight had promised she would learn. “It...it is, and I do...” she choked out, perilously close to continuing her streak of tear-filled days. To keep them at bay, she slammed her eyes shut. “I do I just... I'm so used to having to do things on my own, being hurt by ponies I'm supposed to be able to rely on. It's still too easy to fall back on that when things get this... overwhelming.”
“I know...but it still...it still hurt.” With that said, Scootaloo moved on, not wanting to linger on the leaden unpleasantness. There was still more she had to say. "As for what I think about right now? I want you to be my mum...but...I dunno if I want it so bad that you end up hurting yourself.” She winced, wishing her words had been a little softer. “Sorry, that came out wrong.”
“Yeah, maybe I should stop this rubbing off on you thing,” Starlight snorted, putting on a face of mock disgust. After a brief pause, she relaxed and sighed heavily. “Sorry, I seem to make a lot of things difficult don't I. Either way, I'll be fine with whatever you decide... I owe you that much...”
“You don't really owe me anything,” Scootaloo stood up, prompting Starlight to do the same. “Still, I think we both know what we have to do right now. You're my mum. That won't change, even if I'm still staying at the orphanage for a bit. It's awesome here anyway, Twilight's castle has way too many rooms.”
A laugh burst from Starlight's throat, filling the small room. “Ha, you have absolutely no idea how true that is. I swear it gets bigger and bigger the more I try and map it out.”
Scootaloo snickered, only for a pensive flash to cross her features. Another, more difficult question hung on her tongue. The pony in front of her was not the one she needed to ask, she knew that, and yet she just wanted the query gone. She wanted it out before it started to fester.
“There's something else you want to ask?” No matter what state her head was in, she knew exactly when somepony was hiding something from her. It was a gift, as well as a curse when that same mind ran rampant with half theories and shards of information. “Go ahead. I'll answer if I can.”
“I just...want to know why I was left here is all. I wasn't even old enough to have done anything...” It was phrased more like a statement, but Scootaloo's small, unsure tone compelled Starlight to answer regardless.
“That's something I can't answer properly,” she said sadly, slowly shaking her head. The movement dislodged her bang, forcing her to push it away so she could see Scootaloo clearly. Cupping her hoof under the young pegasus' chin, she carefully lifted her head upwards. Scootaloo found herself unable to turn away, from the weary sapphire eyes that burned like suns. “But...I do know that it definitely wasn't because of you.”
“Yeah, I know... it's just...” Scootaloo backed away and shook her head slowly. “It's nothing I can't handle. We should probably get back. Before this starts getting too mushy.”
***
When they returned to the office, the weight of the air clogged Starlight's chest, making her feel ill. A conversation had immediately ended the moment they entered, though Starlight had been unable to catch more than the unintelligible noise. “Well...we've talked about it, obviously and well...we don't think it's such a good idea to push things forward. For now anyway.” Chewing on her lip, she waited quietly for a response.
“Yeah, makes sense,” Rainbow's raspy voice cut through the room. Though the words were brief, Starlight was unable to stop the audible sigh of relief that burst from her lips. Soft feathers ran along her back, as powerful as any that Twilight could have spoken.
“It's awesome that I found my mum again but...” Scootaloo looked up at Starlight, who nodded encouragingly. “I don't want to lose her just as quickly because I was too eager. I've still got time, we've still got time. If we rush into it now, then... I don't really want to think about it...” She swallowed, trying to dislodge the lump in her throat. Starlight carefully placed a hoof between Scootaloo's shoulder blades, rubbing the area gently.
Finally, Merry Heart spoke up, and Starlight's heart jumped in her chest. The number of beats it had just skipped in its breakneck dash did not bear thinking about. “I did not want to say anything that might push you to a conclusion, but I had hoped you would come to this decision. Rushing into things helps no one, no matter what the law may say on the matter. I do have a suggestion, or rather... I would like to pluck a suggestion that Rainbow Dash put forward earlier.”
“Huh? Oh, that one. See, I told you it was a good one!” Rainbow called out smugly. Everyone else in the room proceeded to summarily ignore her, though Scootaloo had to hold back her giggling.
“In essence, Scootaloo would remain primarily in our care, while we work with Starlight to move things forward at their own pace.” She moved her focus away from the group, narrowing it until she was speaking directly to Starlight. There are some recommendations I would like to make, for a variety of different services that may prove helpful. When such time comes that you are ready, then you will be able to assume the mantle of Scootaloo's caretaker, whenever that may be. Does that seem like a good plan, or do you have anything to add?”
“I...don't think so...” Nothing better was presenting itself, so Starlight simply nodded. “It seems like the best idea we've had so far.” She was vaguely aware of Scootaloo nodding profusely at the edge of her peripheral vision. “Thank you...for this and for looking after all these years... When I had no idea.” Looking into the eyes of the mare who had helped raise her daughter for eleven years, Starlight felt a shiver run along her spine. It was basic inadequacy, she should have been able to do more, then and now.
Keeping a professional distance was difficult, and a practice Merry Heart found herself willing to readily abandon. Only one other occasion had made her quite so glad of that policy. Reaching forward, she wrapped her hooves around Starlight and hugged the younger mare carefully. Every inch of Starlight was trembling, from what Merry Heart surmised was a multitude of different factors. For no one's ears but Starlight's, she whispered softly. “Being practical is not the same as being heartless. Things will work out in their own time.”
Starlight said nothing, afraid that speaking would push her over an edge she was desperately trying to cling to. She allowed the contact to continue for a moment, then slowly pulled away. Merry Heart released her hold immediately, letting Starlight stand on her own four feet. Many different stories reached their inevitable conclusion within these walls. Not all had been happy, but Merry Heart found herself hopeful, owing to the calibre of the ponies that were fighting for this one.
***
“That is one big stack of leaflets,” Rainbow snorted, pulling one from the top of the pile Twilight was carrying. When it failed to hold her interest, she tossed it lazily. Before it could hit the ground, a bright teal aura caught it easily.
Starlight carefully replaced the small slip of paper, not quite trusting herself not to set it alight at the slightest provocation. “Well I need all the help I can get.”
“We can have a look at them this evening,” Twilight suggested, adjusting her hold on the mass of information. Starlight had been sure to grab absolutely everything Merry Heart had offered, whether it looked like much help or not. Still, Twilight had learned that lesson a long time ago, be careful what you dismissed because it was likely to be exactly what you needed.
“I think I'll pass on that.” Pulling a face, Scootaloo handed back the leaflet she had been trying to read. “Some of these words have way too many letters.” She shrugged and looked around. “So uh...what are we gonna do in the meantime?”
“Spitfire will probably clip my wings if I miss another training session. I gotta head there uh... well ten minutes ago actually.” Well used to being awesomely late, Rainbow dipped down and ruffled Scootaloo's mane. “You gonna be alright without me squirt?”
With her mane in no worse state than it had been previously, Scootaloo moved her head up and down in a nod. “Yup. I got this.”
“Course you do,” Rainbow felt a swelling of pride shift within her. Scootaloo was taking this a lot better than she would have. Sneaking in one last ruffle of the younger pegasi's mane, she took off. The resulting sonic boom caused an explosion of colours, Starlight almost choked on the paper that tried to shove itself down her throat. Twilight's irritated yell was muffled by the ringing that lingered momentarily within the depths of her ears.
“Well... that's the next thing we have to do,” the alicorn grumbled, mechanically moving to start picking up the scattered leaflets. After sharing a shrug, Scootaloo and Starlight moved to help. With two proficient magic users at work, Scootaloo only managed to gather one, in a vain hope to be at least a little useful. It was plucked from her grasp, allowing Twilight to neatly shuffle all of the leaflets back into order. “There. Now we just have to-”
“Starlight!” The loud yell echoed across Ponyville, drawing several stares. Already recognising the voice, the aforementioned lilac unicorn turned a deep shade of red, closing her eyes and praying that she would wake up. A very familiar blue-furred, silver-maned unicorn was charging towards them with the fury of a buffalo stampede.
“I'd better deal with this. You go on ahead.” Without leaving any room for protest, she ignited her horn. Before Trixie was able to reach them, she was engulfed in magic and vanished from sight. In the next instant, Starlight was gone as well.
Letting out an unrestrained groan, Twilight turned to Scootaloo, who was trying to contain her laughter, disappointment and a little concern. “I don't know why I didn't expect that. Let's just get these back to the castle before we lose them again.” Scootaloo nodded, a little part of her wondering just what she was missing. With Trixie around, she would find out soon enough, probably the next time the eccentric show mare changed her name prefixes.
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8561831
There’s already a fic with Diamond as Starlight’s daughter if you want one.
Thanks for the update I was getting worried but I'm pleased that you have aded another great chapter I hope you will be able to update again soon. I also hope it won't be long till the truth comes out about who is Scootaloo's dad is I am sure when it dose the hay is going to fly.
well im glad everything worked out
Ooh boy, Trixie's gonna be in on this? As if things weren't already complicated enough as it is.
8567074 Yep, the hay and everything else I think. Thanks for being patient, I'll update as soon as I can.
8567095 So am I to be honest. Everything was getting so messed up that I just wanted to stop writing and give everyone a hug.
8568177 That is Trixie's forte, making things just that little more complicated. She's just worried and mad at the same time, it won't be that bad...right? :P Well, we'll just have to find out.
Thanks for all the comments. I'll get the next chapter out as soon as possible.
8568485
glad im not the only one
FUCKING. FINALLY! Thank you so much for updating this thing, at long last! PLEASE don't make us wait, like, a year for the next chapter again. I will kick you in the reproductive organs if you do!
Threats aside, this was a good chapter. Everyone being so on edge after Starlight's 'attempt' (I still liken it to being akin to a psuedo suicide attempt') really nails home how hard this kind of crap is on everyone around the one whose suffering. Again, I speak from experience on that one.
8570641
WAH! Don't I need those! Like I said I'm really sorry that this took so long. The chapter is 8 and a half thousand words long but I probably wrote about 20. Hehehe. I hope never to have that long of a hiatus again. If I do then feel free to summon an army and march me all the way to my doom.
8570658
Will do.
stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/1520719/mass-effect-reapers-o.gif
8570719
Hehehe. Yep, that army will do. Still, thanks for the comment. That pretty much hit the nail on the head with what everyone is thinking right now. They really do not want this to happen again. Have a nice day.
Oh dear trixie...does she know about what's going on with starlight or have the rumors spreading throughout ponyville already and overheard it?!
8575335
She knows, at least in part. End of last chapter Twilight basically gathered all of Starlight's friends on short notice to basically show her, this is who you have behind you. So Trixie was already in the loop she was just still asleep and now she's awake.
8575422
I was being overdramatic with a touch sarcasm. originally meant to be like "Oh dear it's trixie!" now that realization that her friend has a kid and would be a little pissed off. oh in my story with twilight is way more shocking! which a comment I left on the previous chapter 11. private message me your reaction
I think this sentence needs to be cleaned up a bit. I can't make heads or tails of it.
This sentence should also be reworded for clarity.
I'm assuming that 5 is a typo.
8578915
Yep, fixed. My brain must have been in six minds when I edited the first two and the 5 was just a complete typo. Thanks for that.
8570784
Hey... psst...
78.media.tumblr.com/5fea9c0e2f89cc03b100a1b4fc8413b0/tumblr_n2hwcjisIz1roihxco1_500.gif
my army is getting antsy. And so am I.
I thought you said you wouldn't make us wait again.
Did you lie to us?
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/masseffect/images/9/9f/%D0%96%D0%BD%D0%B5%D1%86_%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%B8%D0%BC%D0%B0%D1%86%D0%B8%D1%8F.gif/revision/latest?cb=20150217181441&path-prefix=ru
I hope you didn't lie to us.
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I'd hate to have to use my army...
78.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_majqcg2oeZ1qa1gxyo1_500.gif
But I just might have to...
orig00.deviantart.net/2fec/f/2011/166/0/1/the_reaper_menace_by_foxxling-d3iyoft.gif
All joking and threats aside, can we get a status report?
8665412 Status report, the chapter is about 2/3 done. It should not be too much longer, Christmas and New Year were just a little crazy. Keep the army on standby but I don't think it'll be necessary.
8665577
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/robotsupremacy/images/b/b5/Harbinger_278x449.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120708102459
We're watching you...
Eye Twitch.
8665577
Standby engaged.
Trixie finally shows up. It's about time for the situation to get three, neigh, four times more complicated than it already was
At least Starlight is (slowly) getting over it so she's not such a nervous wreck, though it really only needs to take one little thing to push her back over the edge again. Something like Scootaloo asking her to come to a Parent's Day at school or something, maybe. That would definitely push the story along with a jolt.
8727834
Yup, a lot still has to happen and Starlight is going to be tested again and again. Recovery is never quick and easy with her. Whether she goes as drastic as trying to erase memories again, we'll just have to find out. Hehehe, Trixie will certainly make things a lot more interesting, though in what way, again only time will tell. Thanks for the comment, have a nice day!
oh, here's a funny video of Starlight trying to map the castle:
8788505
I remember that one.