• Published 3rd Jul 2016
  • 6,723 Views, 373 Comments

The Secret of Motherhood. - EclipseSight



A secret Starlight would have prefered to hide even from herself is out in the open. Will the truth drive a wedge between her and her new friends? Or will it draw them closer?

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Don't Forget, You're Our Friend.

Disorientated, Starlight tried to get a hold of her throbbing head. Her movements were subsequently halted by Rainbow's incredibly strong grip. She felt like she was in a vice, completely unable to physically move. Rainbow's heavy breathing filled her ears, eventually calming sufficiently for the cyan mare to speak.

“What are you thinking?!” Rainbow snarled, subconsciously leaning more of her weight onto Starlight. There was no reaction. Having realised she was not going anywhere fast, Starlight had resorted to fixing her captor with a stony-faced glare. Spittle flew from Rainbow's mouth, droplets of frustration glistening on Starlight's cheek, yet the lilac mare did not speak. “You think this is all just going to go away?!” Rainbow continued, blood boiling as the frosty silence she received eroded her fragile patience. “You don't get to decide for us!”

Starlight bit her tongue, holding herself back from firing off several venomous retorts. She had no interest in discussing this anymore, all of that had left her when Rainbow slammed her into a wall. The pegasus' anger was justified but frankly, Starlight did not care. She should never have brought them into this. It was her problem and the responsibility to present a workable solution rested solely on her shoulders. Even if those shoulders now ached.

Despite her burning head, she drew magic into her horn. This was not happening. In a few hours, Rainbow and everyone else would remember nothing and all would be well. There was no reason to discuss it any further. Unfortunately for her, Rainbow saw what she was doing. Outpacing a unicorn's teleportation spell was a near impossible task but their close proximity and Rainbow's keenly honed reflexes made the deed trivial.

Sharp, stabbing pain was soon layered atop the dull throbbing still persisting in Starlight's head. Her magic was dispersed uselessly and the teleportation spell failed, leaving her still securely stuck underneath Rainbow. She wanted to cry out, to at least whimper but instead satisfied the need by biting down harder on her tongue.

“We're your friends! We're already involved! Whether it was 'supposed' to happen or not! We're all in this together, just as much as you are!” Rainbow's hooves dug into Starlight's shoulders as she shook her frantically... She had to get through to Starlight before she tried to teleport again. Otherwise, all their progress was lost and her biggest fan would never know her family. “Don't you remember the last time you tried to pull something like this?”

Breathing out heavily, Starlight let go of her tongue. It hurt but right now that was just something else to add to the list. “Yes, yes I do. Vividly. I was cleaning the castle for a week afterwards.”

Rainbow growled, her chest rumbling with building frustration. “Well...well, why are you doing this now! What do you think this is going to do to us, to Scootaloo? You really think it's fair that she finally finds out who her mother and now you're going to take it away!”

Feeling for all the world like she had been punched in the gut, Starlight turned her head to the side, now unable to meet Rainbow's eyes. Nothing her physical body could dole up could ever come close to how deeply that comment had gouged her. Her voice dropped to a low whisper, lips barely moving. “Of course I don't think it's fair. Nothing about this is fair...it never has been.” She squirmed feebly in Rainbow's grasp but in the end had to settle for tossing her mane and glaring up at the pegasus. All ice had melted away from her eyes and now a raging flame burned behind the sapphire orbs. “It's why we started this in the first place and look where it's gotten!”

An uncomfortably trembling began to take root in Starlight's chest, forcing her to bite her lip. The nervous habit helped steady her extremities but only caused her core to shake harder. Once more drawing on her magic, she cast aside her inhibitions against direct conflict and enveloped Rainbow in a teal aura.

Now it was Rainbow's turn to feel completely powerless. As wide as the chasm was between their physical abilities, Starlight could bridge that gap more comfortably than any other unicorn. A flicker of fear marred Rainbow's crimson gaze as she was forcibly wrenched in the air. No amount of squirming would shake her iron bonds, though she tried.

“Look, I know you all want to help. I appreciate that...I really do...” Starlight began, speaking slowly and carefully, having to tease out each word to ensure it was audible. “But...this should not have happened. No one should have gotten involved...but at this rate, we're going to have half of Equestria involved! I need to end this! Everyone... Scootaloo included... will feel a lot better without this weighing over their heads... It's my weight to bear.”

An angry snarl rose up in Rainbow's throat, why would Starlight just not understand, but she suddenly froze. Her new vantage point gave her a better view of what she had been doing. Several bruises and welts littered Starlight's back and shoulders, marks that had been caused by her own overzealousness. Whether she had any right to be angry or not, this was not how she should be going about it. There was being blunt and forward and then there was this. Luckily, Starlight had left her mouth unshackled. With a lot more care than she had previously, Rainbow spoke out, desperation creating a thick undertone to her words. “Can we just talk about this... Please...just give me a chance to try. I know you'd regret this even more than you do now... C'mon Starlight...”

The change in tone shook Starlight's resolve. It was soft, pleading, vulnerable. A twisted little sliver of her heart screamed that it was a trick, to go through with her plan no matter what. That part of her was closer to the pony she had been, than the pony she was trying to fashion. She had already come dangerously close to regressing completely. Finally letting out a low whimper, she sank to her belly and buried her head in her hooves. A loud thump told her Rainbow had dropped to the floor but she made no move to erect her magic again. Her head thanked her for that.

“Okay. Let's talk about it...” she mumbled into her hooves, not really caring if anyone could hear her or not. “That's something not outwith the realms of my abilities...” A humourless laugh broke from her throat and she raised her head slightly. Despite herself, she made the quiet observation that the uncomfortable heat of hiding one's face was most likely a metaphor for how uncomfortable trying to hide one's self could become.

Glad that Starlight had not simply teleported away, Rainbow allowed herself a sigh of relief. A long silence stretched between them, then Rainbow started speaking, keeping her voice as level and soft as she could. “I get that it sucks to have no idea what you're doing. When I started the Wonderbolts I had no idea what they wanted from me. I tried everything and nothing worked...until I realised that it wasn't just what they wanted...I didn't even know what I wanted. Did I want to part of the team, or did I want to be the team...” She paused, reminiscing for a brief moment on just how foolish she had been during her first day at the Wonderbolts. Everything had worked out in the end but there had been times when she would have gladly tried to erase the entire thing. She was about to continue, when Starlight began murmuring, having interpreted her pause as a break in conversation. Closing her mouth, Rainbow settled back to listen.

“I just...want it all to go away...for you all. You'd never know anything was amiss... I wouldn't be a constant disappointment, Twilight wouldn't be so stressed and you'd go on being Scootaloo's big sister. I'm not cut out for this. I wasn't eleven years ago and I'm not now.”

“Will you stop putting yourself down!” Rainbow snapped, wings flaring aggressively. Catching herself, she took a step back and shook her head. “Sorry... I'm not good at this.” She rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. Dropping her hoof, she sighed and sat down. This was not her area of expertise. Twilight, Rarity or Fluttershy would be better here, even Applejack would be a more suitable candidate. However, as the fastest and most headstrong she had planted her own hooves firmly in this situation.

“Something we have in common.” With another humourless laugh, Starlight dropped her chin back on her elbows but kept her eyes forward. Now that her face was less flushed, Rainbow visibly flinched at the red welt at the base of her horn. In the moment it had been all she could think of to stop the teleportation spell but now the mark glared angrily at her. She was snapped from those thoughts when Starlight sighed wearily. “I just can't do it... Even with all six of you I still...” She gritted her teeth and clenched her eyes shut, self-directed venom dripping from her tone. “I still couldn't even hold a simple meeting with another pony... Nothing's even happening yet and I'm already... I just...I can't!”

As Starlight collapsed back into a quivering ball, hugging herself with both hoof and tail as her splayed mane covered her face, Rainbow knelt down in front of her. It had been she who had pushed Starlight to both reveal the truth to Scootaloo and to take the next steps. Truthfully, it was only right that she was the one to be dealing with this now. “I told you before didn't I. You can. I know you can... but that doesn't mean you gotta do everything alone. Twilight and I both offered to go with you.”

“I know...but...”

“No buts,” Rainbow said brusquely, then a smirk played on her lips. “It's okay to need help. I get that you want to do everything alone. I do too but some things are just bigger than we are. You think one of the six of us could have saved Equestria alone? Well, maybe but... okay no, we couldn't. Heh, sorry almost got ahead of myself there.”

That tugged Starlight's lips into a weak smile, even if she still felt ready to break. This was exactly she did not want, more help. She had already gotten too much. Face becoming sullen once more, she groaned sadly. “I get it... but just... you've all helped me too much. I owe my entire life to you all. Now, even if I can save Equestria from Chrysalis with no magic at all, I can't do even the simplest things. It's my problem and I'm the one who should be fixing it...you can't save me all the time.”

Unbidden a snort of laughter burst from Rainbow's mouth, so quickly she was barely able to stifle it. “You really are crazy aren't you.” A slight glow from beneath Starlight's mane quickly ended her merriment and rushed her explanation forward. “We don't save you all the time. You actually saved us last time remember. Just because we're helping you doesn't mean you need saving. It just means that there are some things no one should have to go through alone. This is just one of them.”

Rainbow extended a hoof and gently touched one of Starlight's shoulders. It shook against her touch and Rainbow reminded herself just how fragile Starlight could be. For a pony who could stare down an alicorn and laugh at the rules of time, emotionally she was at times a crippled wreck. Even though coming in all guns blazing was at times the only way to break through to her, Rainbow still felt a twinge of regret whenever she had to pick up the pieces.

“But I'll make another mistake...and then I'll just cause more problems.” Letting out another pathetic whimper, Starlight shifted her head to stare at a wall. She wanted to give in but her track record gnawed at her. She had already affected Twilight negatively with this, in a big way. How much more would she affect with her past?

For a moment, Rainbow cast several furtive glances around the room. The other three were nearby, ready to lend a hoof if need be, but were out of earshot. Bending a little closer to Starlight, she muttered in a conspirational tone. “This goes no further than us but...I've caused problems too. Mistakes always cause problems and we all make 'em at some point...” Satisfied that only Starlight had heard her admission, she chuckled and raised her voice. “Some ponies make bigger mistakes, some ponies make smaller ones...doesn't mean they deserve any less help. If they're your friends you gotta help them because you know they'll help you when you need it. That's what being awesome is all about.”

“I don't think that would be the dictionary definition of the word awesome,” Starlight quipped, then shook her head. “I just... don't know what to do. This isn't something I can just control and wrap up neatly... I don't even know where to begin.”

“You don't have to control it, but you can't just make it go away either. It'll just come back to bite you later. Even if it was in another eleven years...”

“I guess that's true...” Starlight murmured, a wave of foolishness overcoming her. This was exactly what she had tried eleven years ago...when she really had been alone. “But how more badly can I screw this up? It's already driving us across Equestria and... Scootaloo probably hates me now anyway.” The last part caused her to try and bury her head once more but she found the motion stopped by a cyan blue hoof.

“Doubt it,” Rainbow chuckled, shaking her head. “She's a pretty hardy kid when it comes right down to it.”

“Yeah, that I know...” Starlight murmured, keeping her head up even as Rainbow lowered her hoof. "Still... I... I really messed up."

“Just take it slow, and since I'm saying that you know it's the right thing to do.” Rainbow winked as Starlight rolled her eyes. “And don't worry about it. I'm pretty sure more than one pony has run out of an office for one reason or another. You just end up halfway across Equestria. You're like me.”

Starlight laughed weakly, gently pushing her mane away from her eyes. They were glistening slightly but her reservoirs were thankfully once again as dry as the desert. “I'll take that as a compliment. Thanks.”

“No worries. Just promise that you'll stop feeling bad about asking for help.” While her body was relaxed, Rainbow's eyes were hard and piercing. Starlight almost wilted under the intense stare but mustered the strength to nod. Grinning again, Rainbow pulled her to her feet. “We should probably get back.” Twisting her head, Rainbow turned back to the three onlookers, all standing ready to intervene if need be. “You all should come too.”

Seeing that everything had finally calmed down, hopefully for good this time, they gave a small sigh of relief. Party Favour decided to speak up for them. “Sure thing. We should make the train easily enough. He glanced around to find a clock. Coming up blank, he chuckled. “Probably.”

“Just one more thing...” Starlight said softly. “So I'm never tempted again.

She made to pull the scroll away from her side, only to find it absent. Confused, she blinked and started to search around for it. A nervous cough caught her attention and she looked up to see Sugar Belle holding the tightly wrapped piece of paper in her magic. Gently, Starlight took possession of it again and laid the parchment flat on the floor. A calm came over her features, then she released a bolt of magic from her horn. It arced towards the scroll and exploded on impact. Thick, grey smoke filled the room, causing a round of coughing fits from all five ponies. When the air finally cleared all that was left was a charcoal black scorch mark and a rather substantial hole in the floor.

Turning a shade of scarlet, Starlight averted her eyes and grinned awkwardly. “My bad. I'll umm... fix it later.”

Double Diamond just chuckled, shook his head and boomed, “It's your house. We're just glad everything's going to be okay now.”

A hoof roughly smacked against Starlight's shoulder, almost knocking her off her feet. “You go big or you don't go at all don't you?”

“It's just how I do things,” Starlight said with a shrug, ignoring the increase in dull throbbing her shoulder was hit with. She refrained from rolling her eyes, though it would be appropriate, Rainbow was one to talk about that! “Anyway. Let's go, before we really do miss that train. I have had way too many big teleports lately.” Borrowing a leaf from Rainbow's book, she added, “And that's me saying that.”

The train journey proved uneventful, after the mad dash they had undergone to make it. Starlight still felt a little sweaty as her body tried to bring itself back into equilibrium. Though, she was in better shape than she ever had been. Keeping up with Rainbow, Applejack and Pinkie made sure of that.

“So I'm guessing Night Glider found you easily enough?” Sugar Belle asked, idly chewing on a muffin. Their quick stop to the bakery had probably enforced an increase of several notches onto their reckless dash but it was worth it now.

Already half way through her second muffin, Rainbow nodded and started to speak through a full mouth. “Yeah, she found me-” she swallowed when the disgusted stink-eye Starlight was shooting her caught her eye, “-easily enough. I was waiting in the castle when she burst in...”

**

Twilight paced nervously, threatening to wear a hole in the crystal floor. Spike was just watching, periodically biting his nails. A large bowl of gems was sitting next to him and he regularly dipped his claw into it. In little over an hour, he had eaten more than a day's worth of the tasty treats.

“We should go see if everything is okay!” Twilight jerked her head up for the seventh time and made her way towards the door. A tug on her tail stopped her and she whirled around to see Rainbow holding onto her. The athlete was casually sipping on a tall glass of lemonade, which happened to be Scootaloo's.

“Relax,” she chuckled, shaking her head at the easily stressed alicorn. “She'll be fine. It's just a meeting. Pretty sure she can handle it.”

Sighing heavily, Twilight settled down, hugging one hoof across her chest. “I know... I just, what if something happens. What if she chokes up again? I...”

“She wanted to go on her own and we just gotta wait for now. If something does happen. She'll come back to us and we can go together next time. It'll be fine. Just wait and see.” Rainbow replied, letting go of Twilight's tail. "Just relax."

Cracking a smile, Twilight lowered her hoof and nodded. “You're right...” she said quietly. “Thank you.”

Grinning triumphantly, Rainbow took another sip of her drink, laying back leisurely to enjoy the wait. Her peace was interrupted by Scootaloo tugging the drink away from her, then giving a pointed nod to Rainbow's already empty glass. Shrugging unabashedly, Rainbow just laid back and closed her eyes. Now in possession of her beverage once more, Scootaloo drank deeply. She was not worried at all. Merry Heart was one of the nicest ponies anyone could ever meet and her mum had endured far worse. Mum, that...still felt weird for her.

Everyone jumped when the doors suddenly flew open and a dark shape suddenly barged into the room. Rainbow dove from her throne and tackled the newcomer, rolling on the floor for several seconds with the intruder. They were a bundle of hooves and feathers until she heard Twilight's voice. She then abruptly found herself pulled apart from the other pony. Now that she was forced to take a step back, she realised just who had burst into the room.

“Night Glider! What are you doing here?” she asked, dropping to the floor when Twilight let her go. She had expected some cocky answer about rolling around the floor but Night Glider's eyes were wild and panicked. Even though she was breathing heavily, she tried to force out her message.

“Can't...chat... Starlight showed up in the village... Dunno why but she's...” A fit of coughing stopped her, allowing everyone in the room to digest what was going on.

“Wait! Starlight is in the village? How in Equestria did she end up all the way out there?” Spike asked, ignoring the gems now scattered across the huge table.

“She just popped up!” Night Glider answered quickly, having finally caught her breath. “Teleportation or something. Anyway, that doesn't matter! She's lost it! She's trying to create a spell that'll erase all of your memories! You gotta hurry!”

Twilight faltered, stumbling back a few paces and bumping into the map table. “I knew I should have gone with her, I knew it...” she mumbled to herself, shaking her head repeatedly.

Placing her glass down with shaky hooves, Scootaloo took a deep breath. It did nothing to stop her bottom lip trembling. “Why would she be doing that? I thought...everything was going to be fine... Did she just decide that...”

“I dunno, but I'm going to find out,” Rainbow growled out in a dangerous tone. Before anyone could stop her, she was out of the door. Her muscles burned as rage spurred her on to greater speeds than she would usually maintain. Any faster and she would have probably created several sonic rainbooms.

**

“You really are fast,” Starlight mused, shaking her head. Her own muffin lay half eaten on the table before her and she surreptitiously pushed it away after hearing Rainbow's recount. Apparently, Sugar Belle caught her though, because she felt a small comforting nudge on her side and Sugar Belle was the only one close enough to do so.

“Yup! And I'm only going to get even faster!” Rainbow shoved the remainder of her own cupcake into her mouth, before diving after Starlight's abandoned one. It was given up without any resistance as Starlight leant back in her chair. Ponyville was growing ever closer...

As the castle loomed before them, Starlight had to swallow several times to dispel her nerves. This was going to suck and as much as she deserved it, she dreaded it. Lost in her own thoughts, she was startled when the doors opened and Night Glider flew out. Everyone looked up at her, with Sugar Belle, Double Diamond and Party Favour all giving her a triumphant nod. She visibly relaxed at that, returning to her old confident self. “Twilight says Starlight is to wait out here for a bit while the rest of you come in,” she ordered, then added hastily, as if just remembering something. “And she also said that it's nothing bad. Just, an idea she has.”

Exhaling with relief, Starlight just nodded as everyone did as they were told. Except for Rainbow, who shook her head and folded her hooves across her chest. “I'll stay out here. Something I've gotta tell Starlight.”

Raising an eyebrow, Starlight fixed her gaze on the hovering pegasus, who just chuckled and dropped down to ground level. “Wanted to finish my story. The one about my first day at the Wonderbolts.”

“Huh?” Starlight blinked in confusion until she realised what Rainbow was talking about. “Oh...right... yeah the conversation kind of veered away from that didn't it?”

“Uh huh. Anyway, I tried to do a lot of things and...not all of them made sense. I tried changing myself because I thought that would help me fit in... Help me get closer to what I thought they wanted. Though it turned out that all the Wonderbolts really wanted was me. That's who they picked in the first place after all. Just awesome me.”

“That...makes sense,” Starlight admitted, tapping at the ground with her hoof to give her nerves something to do. “You are pretty awesome.”

“So are you,” Rainbow replied, lowering herself to the ground. “Which is what Scootaloo wants. You, her mum. Not the best mum in the world, not the strongest pony in Equestria, just you. You just gotta stop worrying about every little thing and just be yourself.”

“Easier said than done.” Drawing her hoof up to her chest, Starlight dipped her gaze to the ground. “I have no idea what's going to happen when I go in there... But...you're right about one thing...”

“Oh?”

Raising her head, Starlight whispered gently. “It's not just about me anymore. I have you girls, I have Trixie, I have Sunburst, Thorax, Discord...and now I have Scootaloo. I just need to realise that and move on, or I'm never going to get anywhere.”

“That's the spirit! Now come on! They're probably wondering where we are! Twilight said a bit and a bit has been long since up.”

Starlight shook her head in exasperation. “Somehow I doubt they're waiting for us that impatiently, but you're right. Let's go...”

With slow, careful steps Starlight walked into the castle. Her heart was fluttering and her mind was racing. Twice she had to pause just to calm her breathing, which was quickly becoming panicked and ragged. When they reached the large bright green doors of the throne room, she started backing away. There was no way she could face everyone. She continued backing up until her rear met an obstruction, something warm. Without having to turn around, she knew exactly who she had bumped into. “I can't...”

“Yeah, you can. Stop doubting yourself. C'mon, what did I say. We can do this together. You just need to take some of the first steps.” Still grinning, Rainbow bent her head down and shoved Starlight forward. She got a small yelp in response but at least Starlight was at the door.

Swallowing hard, Starlight steadied herself on her own hooves again. She inhaled deeply, counted to ten and then exhaled before pushing the door open with her hoof. For a long moment, she saw nothing...then realised she had squeezed her eyes shut. Chuckling nervously, she cracked them open, not sure what she would see.

When she finally beheld what was waiting for her, she sank to the floor, her legs turning to jelly. The room was packed full of ponies, along with one dragon, one changeling king and one draconnequis. Alongside Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy and Rarity, were all of her friends, the ones she had made or been reunited with since her reformation. Sunburst, Trixie, Thorax, Princess Luna, Princess Cadance, Double Diamond, Night Glider, Party Favour, Sugar Belle and even Discord, looking about as out of place as Thorax did. Scootaloo was still there as well, shouldered by Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. A light whoosh of air ruffled her mane as Rainbow flew past her and settled down in the middle of her own group. Pulling herself back to her feet, Starlight took a few tentative steps into the room. Every eye was on her and she knew for a fact that she was quivering under the weight of it all.

Twilight stepped up to meet her, smiling as softly as she had the day she had taken Starlight on as a student. “There were a few who couldn't come but they all send their good wishes regardless. It...was a little short notice.” She rubbed the back of her neck, twirling the ends of her mane briefly before regaining her warm smile. “Everyone here is someone that you've connected with over your time here... in big ways or small ways, it doesn't really matter. You're still friends...and that's why they're here.”

“This was exactly what I was afraid would happen...” Starlight whispered softly, flicking her tail around herself. She shook her head slowly. “But... you're right. It was going to happen eventually. I'd want you all to let me help you...so...yeah...I guess I was just being silly.” She let out a self-deprecating titter. “Not like that's anything new.”

Maintaining the warm smile, Twilight just whispered sagely, “We all get there in the end. Sometimes it just takes us a little time.”

“I know...and I'm sorry it took me so long...” Starlight lowered her head again, watching her reflection in the crystal floor. As good as she had felt that morning, every ounce of her recovery had been wrenched from her. She needed her friends and to continue to deny that would just cause an even more rapid deterioration. Then they would simply worry more. It was a cycle with an easy fix...she just needed to give her pride a stern talking to.

Her ears pricked at the quiet tapping of small hooves on a crystal floor. She looked up to see Scootaloo, sporting a deep frown. The look attacked Starlight's core and her knees threatened to give way once again. Barely able to keep herself upright, she bit her lip nervously and waited for whatever was to come.

Scootaloo nibbled on her own lip as she tried to decide what she wanted to say. She sat down, lowering her gaze to the floor. The pose and demeanour made her look even smaller. “Why would you want to erase everything? Didn't you want to know I was your daughter?” Bringing her hoof to her eyes, she roughly wiped away the forming moisture.

Now more than ever, Starlight knew she would never be tempted to erase anything ever again, whether it be memories or time. Things were as they were for a reason and even if they would not have remembered, she would still have been hurting them. Closing her eyes, she shook her head. “That's...That's not it at all. I just... didn't want you to have to live knowing that your mother was me.”

Scootaloo's eyes widened in surprise and she turned her tear filled gaze upwards. Starlight's eyes were still closed but nevertheless, she knew that Scootaloo was staring at her. Whether with anger, disbelief or even pity she was not able to discern. None of the options was preferable over the other.

“I shouldn't have tried to mess with your memories without asking. I just thought it was better that way... Ending up halfway across Equestria wasn't part of the plan either... Everything just happened and I made all the wrong choices...again. I get that you all probably won't trust me again... I just wanted to make everything better...”

Eyes still closed, Starlight waited on the response. She could hear the shuffling of a small body moving around but kept her eyes firmly shut. She expected words but instead a pair of hooves belonging to someone much smaller than she wrapped around her leg. A small head wet with tears buried itself into her chest. Sitting down, Starlight carefully wrapped a foreleg around Scootaloo's shoulders.

Muffled by her mother's fur, Scootaloo mumbled, from deep within her own heart. “I don't care if you mess up. I don't care if it took you eleven years to find me and I don't care if I still stay at the orphanage for a long time yet. I just... want you here, as my mum... Please...”

“Okay...” Starlight replied quietly, pressing her muzzle into Scootaloo's scruffy mane.

“Promise?” Scootaloo whispered, adjusting her grip on the older mare.

“Yeah... I promise...” Starlight agreed, tightening her own hold on her daughter. One day, that term would become natural, at least she hoped it would...

With a now full castle, it was up to Twilight, Spike and Starlight to try and whip up enough food for everyone. Spike was doing most of the actual cooking, though the combined magic of both Starlight and Twilight made the task a lot more trivial. It also gave him an opportunity to give Starlight a few pointers. Scootaloo was beside her, though at Starlight's request was not touching the kitchen appliances. The last time she had allowed the Crusaders near an oven it had required transfiguration to fix.

“No, don't put too many in at once, and don't put it up to high. Even if it cooks quicker it won't cook right!” he scolded, quickly removing the overladen trays from the oven. He grabbed another tray and began to distribute the excess pastries onto it.

Starlight just watched him work with interest, fidgeting slightly at his admonishments. “Oh... so, that's why the oven started smoking last time. My bad.”

Resisting the urge to slam his head onto the desk, Spike readjusted the temperature and put two of the trays into the oven. The third would just have to go in later. They would have to get another oven if meals of this magnitude were going to become a thing. He chuckled and wiped his brow. “Yeah, probably. Just takes some practice to know which dish requires which setting and I have had a lot of practice.”

“Though his first attempts weren't always stellar,” Twilight chimed in, playfully poking the boasting dragon in his stomach.

He lazily shoved her hoof away, raising an eyebrow at his caretaker. “Yeah, says the pony who managed to burn toast so badly it had to be vacuumed out.”

“That was an experiment!” Twilight protested, using a wing to hide her crimson cheeks. Even so, she could still see Starlight smirking at her, a “do tell” look spreading across her face. Clearing her throat, Twilight tittered nervously. “It's... a long story.”

With a shrug of her shoulders, Starlight relented and turned her attention to magically scrubbing the used worktop clean. As she worked, she cast a sideways look to Twilight, debating whether she should push her luck. In a weird way, it was a selfish thing to do...but she felt she needed it, after today. “Twilight, can we...talk about something?”

“Of course!” the alicorn answered brightly, without any hesitation. “We can always talk. What's on your mind? Is something bothering you?”

Snorting, Starlight rolled her eyes. That had been as subtle as a rampaging yak. “Obviously...but...that's something Rainbow was able to wrap my head around. No... right now it's just... Well... something's bothering you isn't it?”

Having been waiting for this to come up, Twilight simply sighed and nodded. Spike jumped up on the counter and sat down next to her, offering his unconditional support. She smiled softly and rested her front hooves next to him. “Yeah. You know already, I just didn't want to tell you about it because of everything going on... So I guess that makes me just as accountable.” She held up a hoof, cutting off Starlight's protest. “But blame isn't really something we need to be throwing around. We all acted to protect each other without really thinking about what we all would really want...” Smiling, Twilight nuzzled Spike and Starlight in turn. “We'll do better next time.”

Both dragon and unicorn nodded, returning Twilight's gesture. She then continued, idly picking up where Starlight left off the cleaning. “It's...something we should probably talk about tomorrow. You want to help don't you?”

“I fear if I don't I'll just feel worse...and it's the right thing to do. If I can help, then I will...or at least try.”

Twilight gave a final nod and gently hugged Starlight with a wing. “Okay. I promise to speak to you about it tomorrow. Deal?”

“Yeah...” Starlight nodded, quietly resuming her cleaning. With that out of the way, she felt a small portion of her guilt had melted away. “We still need to deal with all of the guests you managed to drag here. Quite impressive by the way.”

“I do my best,” Twilight grinned, then chuckled softly. “I think it was worth it... Shall we go and talk to everyone while we wait on these pastries to cook?”

“Probably a good idea. We did leave Discord and Trixie in the same room after all.”

A look of abject horror passed across Twilight's face and in the next moment she was barreling out of the door. Starlight looked after her, smiling from ear to ear. “Thanks for that...and everything... All of you...” she murmured under her breath, then turned to Scootaloo. "Wanna go see if anyone has been turned into an orange?"

"Isn't that Twilight's thing?" the young pegasus asked, trotting after the lilac unicorn, who had hummed thoughtfully.

"Now that I think of it... yes. Remind me never to eat another orange. I'll stick to apples I think."

Scootaloo giggled at that. At least Ponyville had an ample supply of apples. As she walked in Starlight's shadow, she felt a faint contented warmth filling her. She really hoped it would last.

Author's Note:

Chapter 11 is finally up! I have rewritten this thrice blasted thing again and again! Good to finally get it finish. It's a long one so hopefully, that makes up for the wait. This is definitely the end of the first arc and Starlight's guilt. There's a lot of it to be sure but enough ironing will get out almost any crease. I hope you all enjoyed. Feel free to leave any feedback down below in the comments and remember to have a nice day!