• Published 19th Jun 2016
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Missing Pages & Scrawled Footnotes - Ice Star



Iceverse minifics. Little bits of world building, style experiments, character pieces, and such dumped in this anthology. Also, stuff I never finished and poems.

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Don't Make a Deal with a Demon [One Shot]

Author's Note:

So, I’ve wanted to write Discord and Sombra for a while, and had the perfect chance for another little skit-like story set post Favorable Alignment starring the two, and showcasing some more examples of me writing Discord in first person. He’s hard to write no matter the perspective. Anyway, here’s a thing.


Don't Make a Deal with a Demon

Teen|Slice of Life

Discord attempts to make a new friend.

I just couldn't wait any longer. I had never liked waiting - never ever. Being a statue? That only made me dread any time I had to wait for anything even more. I have an eternity to do everything, so why would I ever want to spend any minute of it staying still unless I had to? That was just such a dull thought.

But I had to see him. I saw him once before. Or maybe twice? And now he was little Luna's 'lover'. Oh, the way she puts that is so cheesy. Luna, suddenly a sap? The world really had ended! Forget what the rest of the Pantheon said, the day Luna falls in love - that was the day we were all doomed.

I saw him and he didn't look like much. Dark and brooding? Yawn. Thought I can't be too surprised. Luna is a gloomy sort. Always quiet and off on her own. She's surrounded by so many ponies but she never talks to them. Sometimes she talks to me. She's always close to Celly.

Celly. Tia.

Celly. Tia.

Hmm, maybe one day I'll finally settle on one.

Cellytia? Hm, no. Celly for now. Maybe I'll call her Tia tomorrow.

But I just knew that I had to meet Luna's mysterious suitor at least once. He was one of the few things she ever spoke about, a pony who managed to catch the interest of the mare I can't see as anything more than a filly. Except he certainly didn't seem like a pony, not one bit.

There was so little I knew about him. He talked very little and glared at everything. Could he not talk? Celly didn't like him - I don't blame her, he always looks so irritated - so he's not likely to ever be a friend of mine. She's always been a better judge of ponies.

This lack of information wouldn't do. Luna was always going out of her way to see him. She never did that for anypony! Not even me, her good old honorary brother, Dissy. I'm hurt, really.

All I had to do to get more was go meet him. How else would I ever learn anything about a pony? Showing up unannounced was the perfect way to surprise him, and who doesn't love surprises?

I couldn't think of any better plan to ponder over a breakfast of assorted cheeses, encyclopedia entries, and those little plastic jacks that ponies just agonize over when stepped upon. To top off such a healthy meal, I just washed everything down with a glass before disposing of that oh-so-pesky chocolate milk. Perhaps one of the plants can eat it? Or even dear Smoozie? They're all here, somewhere, roaming about my god's world of Chaosville. I don't see why the other gods think it so odd to live in a divine world. What other location is would be more fitting for me? None. None at all.

Chaosville vanished around me with a simple snap.

He lived somewhere on Canterhorn Mountain, this Sombra character, and I was going to find him. Just how difficult could it be to find his house? He was like any other pony, right? Silent and royal - I heard that he had been royal. He probably has a villa just waiting for me to perfect.

...

He did not have a villa. Wasn't he a duke or something? The Duke of Canterlot - the one who has topiary shaped like him - lives in a sprawling manor. It is very easy to find and even easier to change.

It takes hours to find where Sombra lives. My poor wings!

I would not even call it living - I don't see any kind of shack, or cottage, or anything. There's no building or real marker to boast of an estate. He is already losing Dissy Points. Mysterious royalty should have an equally mysterious house. How could Luna ever want to spend any time with him at all? Celly says that she'll go to see him in all weather.

It looks like a campsite. He just stood in this little clearing place that could be forgotten far too easily. The city of Canterlot sprawled out far below, like he was supposed to look profound or epic - like some sort of king - by standing there with the wind in his mane and the sword gripped in his crimson magic pointed at the throat of the humble draconequus, clinging to the rocks since I had yet to rise and stand above him.

"Is this how you greet everypony?" I asked, staring into those red eyes. The irises almost looked like they were glowing. He wasn't even surprised to see me! Duke Sombra just looked at me, scowling and unfriendly. How was Cadance friends with him? Or Luna in love with him? How did anypony like someone who didn't even tell their guests a joke like I did? He's just...
Mean looking.

"Perhaps," he says, gaze starting to roam. He looks at me in a way much like how Twilight Sparkle observes math problems that she wishes to solve. "What is it that you want?"

"To talk and see what all the fuss is about. New gods aren't something that pop up every day, especially not gods that are fun. I just want to see if you'll be any fun."

Duke Sombra just looked grumpier. "You talked. Now leave on your own, or I'll see to it that you do." He sheathed his sword - it looked to be southern in making, with the curved blade - and lit his odd curved horn. I don't think ponies are supposed to have them.

"Well, aren't you rude. I just wanted to see if you'd like to be my friend. That's what seems to be all the rage these days, don't you think? Wouldn't that be much better then just glaring at me like that? You're almost like Tw-"

"I'm nothing like her," he snaps. "I'd like to think that you have an actual reason to be here other than just whining about the mountain for hours about not being able to find me. Do you really think I couldn't hear you?"

I straightened my posture and righted myself, standing straight up. This usually intimidated ponies. Sombra stood steadfast.

"Well, maybe. You are old, aren't you? Ponies aren't really supposed to live-"

"I'm. Not. Old," he growled through gritted teeth. It was actually just a little bit creepy. I’ve never met a pony who could growl unless I made them, and even they never sounded that vicious.

A breeze blew by, rustling the nice, distracting plants that caught my attention. Most of the plants here were just trees or some bushes and grass that I would have replaced if it weren't for how moody Luna's coltfriend was.

The one plant that didn't quite fit in with the others grew in thick patches, like some sort of weed - even though it was obviously tended. I looked at it curiously from a distance, shifting my gaze between Sombra and the strange plants. I have never seen one of these kind before. They looked a bit like ferns.

"So you're Loony's coltfriend, hmm?"

"Yes," he grumbled. “It’s only been on every tabloid.”

"You two must be a very moody duo. Just what is it that you like to do?"

"Like I'd tell you." He flipped his mane a bit and looked to the side momentarily, rolling his eyes.

"Is that your garden? You don't strike me the green hoof type."

He lifts an eyebrow. "You can call it that."

"Why don't you grow something better than ferns? Like flytraps! Such lovely, delicate things."

He gives me an unwavering, flat stare. "Those aren't ferns, and they're for a friend."

"Do you speak in anything but that 'I want to be elsewhere' tone? C'mon what's wrong?"

"You."

"Oh," I said with as much of a comical, huffy tone as I could muster, "Is that how things will be between us? Surely, you can tell your Uncle Dissy something about all the horribly angsty things on your mind?"

"Give me a break. Don't you have somewhere more mundane to be? Ponies to consort with? I can't believe that you're honestly expecting to get anywhere with me."

Huffing again, I stroll over to his strange little garden cheerfully in order to counteract his gloom. I don't think that there's much more to him other than just watching my every move with those strange eyes. Perhaps I should put in a word with ol' Celly about the company Luna has been keeping. She's been so much happier these days, but how can it be from him? I'm happy to be with any friend of mine and Celly is happy in the company of almost anypony - he's one of the few exceptions. But it's hard not to worry about Luna if she's only ever happy around somepony like him. I'm not going to try to make sense of it - ah, what a nasty thing. Sense is Celly's job.

Kneeling down, I pluck a few leaves from Sombra's strange plants and hold them in the palm of my paw. Look at me, worrying about a friend that I never thought I would have again. I don't laugh - it's a joke, but not a laugh out loud joke - but I chuckle a little.

Sombra watches on, stoic and undeniably dull to me, his eyes trained on my paw. I have no doubt that he is planning something.

"Is this poisonous?"

"No."

Sombra's expression is hard to read. He's looking at me like I should know something very obvious, even though I am not a botanist. Perhaps Fluttershy would know something about this plant. Animals and plants aren't so different, I think. Especially when my magic is done with them. Celly might know too. After all, tea is just somepony dumping plants in water to make it taste differently. I wonder if she'd like if I brought her some of this to put in her tea.

Well. She might. I toss a bit of it in my mouth and watch Sombra recoil. How odd for somepony known as Sombra the Mad. I was expecting more from him. Maybe he's like one of those 'mad' ponies who just hurts others, mopes, or sees things. Duller things like that.

I toss a couple more of the leaves into my mouth, and Sombra looks on, his left eye twitching.

"What? I'm only having a snack."

"That's-"

"Oh, it's what? Can I make a salad with this? Or a sandwich? Do you think that this would go nicely with cucumber sandwiches by any chance? You see Fluttershy and I-"

He cuts me off with a brusque wave of his armored hoof. "You know what? Why don't you just take a bushel, and you can eat it all yourself or distribute it to however of your friends you want. Consider it my treat."

I paused mid-chew. "You're just going to give this to me?"

"If I let you take some of this, will you leave me alone indefinitely?"

He is kind of boring... and I was getting something out of it, even if he didn't want to be my friend. It looks like Twilight Sparkle will be getting another envelope full of eels in the mail instead of a friendship letter that Fluttershy only edited of course and no, no Celly did not co-author a single one. Shh. Luna's 'bad stallion' phase coltfriend could go be mopey and moody somewhere else. He doesn't realize that I'm getting the most out of this bargain.

I swallowed the rest of the plant. Ugh, that taste could certainly improved. Paper and plastic had such fine flavors and foil was a rare treat... but this? Without my magic, it's just a work in progress, I suppose. Only the world's laws can limit me and my random powers.

I extend my now-empty paw to him. "Deal?"

Sombra stares at the limb. Doesn't he know to give a simple shake? I hold my paw out further but he still does nothing.

"Deal."

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