Missing Pages & Scrawled Footnotes

by Ice Star

Secondhoof Bribes [Minific] [Friendshipping] [Sombra/Cadance]

Cadance tugged at one of her short curls with a hoof. "So, I got you a few things that might suit your tastes."

"Might," Sombra echoed skeptically. He frowned.

"Yes!" Cadance piped, puffing out her chest with all the confidence she could manage, rustling the shopping bag she had grasped in her magic. "All you have to do is stop using my makeup."

Sombra raised an eyebrow, but taunted Cadance with no answer. She was forced to resort to bribes. and here she was wrinkling her muzzle at the very stallion she taught the art of cosmetics to. Now that he lived with Luna, he had every opportunity to sneak into the visiting rooms she claimed too obtain 'free samples' of her eyeshadow.

"Please," Cadance asked, giving Sombra her goofiest puppy-dog eyes and a smile sweet enough to match her tone. "I didn't teach you so you could rob me."

A swish of crimson magic poked Cadance right in the muzzle. "That's part of a surprise attack. Now let me see if your bribes are sufficient."

Sighing, Cadance hummed and withdrew a shiny container. The clear lid showed off the colored array of powders inside. "These are the best for smokey eyes," Cadance said with a wink, her smile hiding how much she hoped she struck Sombra's weakness. "I even made sure that all the colors will go well with your coat and eyes. See what a gooooood friend I am?"

Sombra shot her a sharp look, betraying nothing. "Be silent, Insolent Niece. I still see more in that bag."

"Fine, be a big grouch, but at least look at this~" With another cheerful smile, Cadance pulled out a ruffly, layrered skirt. "It's pretty, yah?"

Sombra flicked an ear, but kept his eyes glued to the long garment.

"Okay, if that's a 'no', then how 'bout this one?" Cadance waved a container of barrettes and mane clips around. "These ones are really good for manes like yours," she said pointing to Sombra's disheveled mane. "One of my friends suggested them."

Sombra dragged his eyes from the container to Cadance's bouncy curls. "And the rest?"

"Ta-da!" Cadance exclaimed, flashing a rugged-looking stallion's trench coat around. "I thought you'd wanna add this one to your collection too! Lookit this collar. It's extra good for flipping up~!"

She really wished that it would be easier to tell if her teasing was having an impact on him or swaying him in any way.

"Come on, Sombra. I'm running out of stuff here." She shook her nearly empty bag, one cloth item bouncing inside.

Wordlessly, Sombra nodded to the bag. "Show me what's inside, then. Taunting me any longer will result in Skyla 'accidentally' having too many sweets the next time I watch her." One corner of his mouth curls up. "I might even give her soda."

"You would not..." Lifting one forehoof, Cadance hides the astonished 'O' of her mouth.

"I would, and I will."

"And to think you're considered reformed, you jerk."

Sombra chuckled dryly. "I try."

Though she was bad at showing malicious brands of annoyance, Cadance did her best to feign it with an eye roll. "Here's your last offer."

The last item Cadance had purchased was a shirt. It looked very casual, and while that wasn't the most popular of styles, she knew that Sombra always tended to wear something. She'd certainly never seen him without his familiar cloak at the least. With a few twists of her aura, the T-Shirt unfolded so that the design presented Sombra.

"Look how cute it is! I saw this at a secondhoof store in Fillydelphia and immediately thought of you!"

Sombra could only face the shirt with a mix of bewilderment and something Cadance pegged as an awkward brand of fear. "I think it was secondhoof for a reason."

Ears flicking, Cadance flipped the shirt around so she could look at the image sewn on it. A pineapple with large, but species non-specific paws gazed amorously at a cheesy pizza slice below. Both were ponified loosely, with faces bearing features that were broad enough to fit a number of mammals, like certain kinds of smiley stickers meant to include non-ponies.
The pizza looked back, uncertain and straight-faced while the pineapple-beast whispered: Shhh, no one needs to know...

"I have zero idea what you're talking about. This is a very cute shirt! And don't tell me it doesn't suit you, pizza freak!"

Sombra gave the shirt Cadance has so generously purchased the same look that foals gave to dogs they feared would bite them. Never dropping that distrustful look, he gathered everything else up in his magic, beating Cadance's protests.

"Hey! I was going to have you pick one! One thing!"

Snorting, Sombra waved the makeup around. "I'm choosing this. The rest of these tasteful items, I am stealing."

"Gods-darn it, Sombra. The shirt is cute.. I'd wear it myself but it's too big for me!"

"I'll stop stealing your eyeshadow if you let me take all of these without a fuss."

"Yes, yes thank you! Spare my eyeshadow your wrath." As if preparing to faint, Cadance raised a forehoof to her forehead with purposely shaking motions, letting the start of a giggle slip as she hugged the shirt to her chest with her other foreleg.

"I will, however, be raiding your mascara from now on."

"SOMBRA, NO!"

Author's Note:

The shirt that started the idea that became this short, and clearly the reason the notes for this story are near the bottom. Yes, this is a real shirt. Yes, for the shock(?) value.

I sorta forgot a little of how I formatted stuff here. It's honestly criminal I haven't had the time to be writing shorts, drabbles, whatever, and dumping them here. This hasn't updated in over a year. A YEAR. Ugh. Anyway, this one made some minor refs to Enemy of Mine so there's that too.

I haven't written some good ol' Sombra and Cady friendshipping in a while too, so here is some.

Comments

[Fury Assembly]

I need this shirt

[Ice Star]

9492581
I originally found it in a meme channel on discord but if you google ‘pineapple pizza shirt’ it comes up.