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Prologue: The Sheriff Comes To Shady Sands1,044 words
1: A Demonstration.2,884 words
2: Enter Twilight Sparkle2,008 words
3: An Interview With An Emperor1,913 words

1: A Demonstration.

Canterlot Palace

"Let me in, I must see the Princess immediately! I demand an audience!" Princess Celestia's ear flicked as she heard the commotion behind the doors leading into her throne room as she turned her head slightly towards the Griffin Provost-Marshal, who was regarding the noise with thinly-veiled amusement as the voice shouted, "My purpose for being here? To protest, that is what I'm here for!"

Celestia sighed as she reluctantly put down the object held in her magic, "Do excuse me Provost-Marshal, it seems my subjects require my attention, this won't take long."

The Provost-Marshal nodded, "Of course, Princess, we understand perfectly. We will put the demonstration on hold for now." Across from them, a Griffin soldier sighed with obvious relief as he quickly removed the target on his chest and padded away from where he was standing, his fellows elbowing him as they chirped various teases. Relieved that they hadn't taken offense, Celestia trotted over to the door of her throne room.

"Let them in." The guard at the door nodded and rapped sharply, signaling the guards on the other side to open the door; and causing Celestia to back up as a gaggle of ponies fell through the door in a rough heap as Celestia raised an eyebrow and stepped forward, "Hello my little ponies, what brings you here today?" She had a fairly good idea though: Scoop Chaser's sensationalist article had inflamed popular opinion and the Sun Princess had been dealing with ponies coming to protest the weapons in Day Court every day.

Even Luna had her fair share of protests in Night Court.

'Admittedly,' Celestia allowed in her mind, 'She considers such protests to be a wonderful source of debate. In fact she's done more to allay fears about the new Griffin weapon than any words I've said...'

One of the ponies managed to extricate himself from the pile and approach as he smoothed out his black mane and brushed down his official-looking shirt and jacket before straightening his tie, "Princess Celestia, I am Night Dash, and I along with my organization the POV are here to protest the introduction of the Griffin's...appalling new weapon, for service in the Royal Guard!"

'Ah, of course. Ponies Opposed to Violence' Celestia thought as she maintained her motherly smile while concealing her headache while speaking to the pony, "Oh yes, the group that speaks out against senseless violence within Equestria, I've heard of your efforts in recent days." Inwardly she was glad to have a face to the constant letters and protests against anything from the rather sensible extension of jail times for theft to even the usage of sleeping powders to bring down rampaging beasts that left the Everfree and other wild areas of Equestria.

"Thank you Princess, and while I'm certain you must be curious as to how we have acquired our information, I can only inform you that-" Celestia tuned out the excuses, the Royal Constabulary and the Royal Guard both had evidence of the POV bribing members, while others suspected blackmail.

"-and that is why we are here to protest this barbaric weapon! Equestria doesn't need a weapon that can cause such grievous harm to others, what could happen if it was used against a foal?" Night Dash finished as Celestia's mind summed it up rather plainly for her; they didn't want the weapon because they were scared of it and were using the old foal-harm excuse to get her to deny it.

Granted she had the same concern but Celestia knew the importance of making sure everything was perfectly tested to her own stringent standards, which would of course include making sure it was difficult for the weapons to harm a foal, despite the Griffin's claims that it wouldn't so much as leave a mark.

"I see. Well, unfortunately my dear subject, as much as I can sympathize with your concerns, I am afraid that I cannot just simply reject the weapon out of turn until I have fully studied it to my personal satisfaction." She managed to look properly disappointed at letting one of her subjects down as Night Dash's jaw dropped, "I am very sorry my little pony, but there are things not even I can just cancel at the drop of a hat. I must hear the offer being spoken here, if only for politeness' sake."

In the background there was a sharp *SNAP* as one of the Griffin soldiers fired one of their strange new weapons at a target, the projectile thumping against the target before bouncing on the floor and rolling slightly. The ponies of the POV all stared at the Griffin with narrowed eyes, prompting a jaunty wave from the soldier as he fired another projectile with a loud *SNAP* before the projectile thumped against a target.

"Is that it?" One of the ponies snapped, "Is that one of those horrible weapons?" He broke away from the group as the soldier padded over and picked up the projectiles before carefully loading it into the rotating drum in the weapon while the pony approached, "Equestria doesn't need weapons like that to defend itself! Princess, you cannot be serious about this, please get rid of these weapons!"

"My dear little pony, you need not be afraid of what is going on here. This is merely diplomacy," Celestia explained, inwardly wondering if there was something wrong with ponies these days that they got fearful so quickly. "Please, there's no reason to be so panicked. I'm sure if you all just calm down, we can-"

"So, Marshal, should we be unpacking the big one yet?" One of the Griffin soldiers asked the Provost-Marshal as he placed one of the garishly-colored weapons on a table, "Or should we go with one of the long-range ones?"

"Hmm...one of the big ones." The Provost-Marshal muttered, ignoring the appalled ponies nearby, "A good demonstration of crowd control should be appropriate, I think."

"How dare you make light of our grievances!" The pony shouted, rushing towards the table, "I'll show you what I think about-"

*SNAP*

The pony flew backwards, sliding along the floor as his head lolled back while the projectile was picked up and reloaded into the small weapon on the table as the Provost-Marshal started speaking, "As you can see Princess Celestia, the projectiles are perfectly harmless. Capable of knocking out a grown pony without a single mark, with those incapacitated requiring minimal medical attention to recover from their current state."

Celestia quietly studied the unconscious pony with her magic and noted to her private satisfaction that the Griffin was telling the truth; the pony was unharmed physically and there was no signs of dark magic. She hated that such a demonstration had to take place on one of her little ponies but the relief at seeing nothing out of the ordinary allowed her to quash her annoyance at this event.

"Thank you Provost-Marshal. However, I feel that this demonstration would be better served taking place at another time. Tomorrow perhaps?" Celestia proposed with a smile as she wondered just what sort of mess she was going to have to clean up this time while the Provost-Marshal nodded with his own smile.

"Of course Princess, my apologies for the rough handling of your subject, but our soldiers have been trained to think quickly on their paws. we will return after things have-"

"You won't be coming back! We have rights!" Night Dash shouted and several ponies shouted their agreement while the others looked between the unconscious pony and the Griffins busy watching the entire affair as Night Dash stepped forward, "You can't just do that to one of Princess Celestia's subjects!"

'Some days I really wish I could get a word in edgewise when something like that happens.' Celestia thought as she considered using a flash of magic to cow everyone so she could be heard, 'Might as well do that. Before something worse happens.'

But before she could do just that, Night Dash pushed forward, "We in the POV are fundamentally pacifist, but if it will keep Equestria free of horrible weapons such as these, then we've got no choice but to use force!"

"YEAH!" The ponies shouted as Celestia sighed.

'I should teach them a lesson, one they won't forget. But what?' Celestia considered her options, before nodding to herself, "Provost-Marshal." Everyone turned to look at her, "I've changed my mind. You said you had tools for crowd control? Such as an impending riot?"

The Provost-Marshal smiled, "As a matter of fact, we have one already unpacked." He motioned to a Griffin who was crouching behind a strange, brightly-coloured weapon with two barrels pointed straight at the ponies, "Are you asking for a demonstration?"

Celestia nodded, looking Night Dash square in the eyes, "Please."

Night Dash didn't have time to scream as rough whining filled the air before...

*SNAPSNAPSNAPSNAPSNAP!*

Sugarcube Corner, Ponyville

"-and one Super-Duper Chocolate Quake Thickshake!" Pinkie Pie finished as she set down the massive glass, "It's a new recipe so Mr. Cake says it's gonna be expensive unless it proves popular! I think it's absolutely, positively splendiferous!"

"Thanks Pinkie, I'm sure it'll be great." Twilight Sparkle replied with a smile as she carefully took a spoonful of the icecream sitting on top of the thick, almost black, chocolate thickshake before taking a taste, "Mmm, this is great! Although I don't know if ponies will buy it enough for a regular treat."

"Ah'll say Twilight," Applejack remarked, looking askance at the massive glass, "Looks more like something you'd order for a special occasion or a party ta me."

"Ooh!" Pinkie pulled out a notebook and scribbled in it before tossing it back in her hair, "That would be perfect! Thanks Applejack!"

"Hah, no problem sugarcube." The country pony replied with a smile, "So Twi, what's the big delivery to the castle, and what's with the new reading material?"

"Hmm?" Twilight looked up as she slurped at the thickshake, barely making a dent in it's volume, "Oh, Celestia sent over some samples of the new weapons that have been showing up in the Griffon Kingdoms lately, along with their instruction manuals."

"My goodness!" Rarity placed a hoof to her mouth, "The Princess actually sent you weapons? Why on earth would she do such a thing?"

"Sounds awesome to me." Rainbow Dash piped up, "I got a letter from Gilda saying these new weapon thingies are the most awesome weapons in the world. They don't hurt anyone, but WHAM! POW! you get hit with one and you're out like a light for hours!" She grinned, "That's a weapon I can call cool!"

"You would." Applejack retorted, "But it's pretty strange that Princess Celestia sent you weaponry and the manuals for them though. Did she give an explanation?"

"Oh yes," Twilight replied, eyes still glued on the rather thin manual in front of her as she continued slurping at the thickshake, now able to make a noticeable dip in the levels inside the glass, "Celestia said that she wants me to study the weapons and their ammunition to find out what sort of magical effect could knock out a grown pony without harming them while going through any form of magical protection."

"Oh, I hope it's not some kind of nasty curse," Fluttershy shivered, "Because that would be horrible."

"Well-"

"I bet its some kind of super-secret magical spell!" Rainbow Dash declared, "And Twilight's going to find out how so that Equestria can make their own!"

"That's-"

"Well, I for one think it's more about protecting ourselves." Rarity opined, "After all, this is a new paradigm and who's to say these new weapons won't be used in a war against Equestria?"

"Could you-"

"I just hope it doesn't harm animals." Fluttershy said with surprising firmness, "I wouldn't like it if they were used to hurt a cute little bird or bunny."

"Now girls-"

"Frankly, I think we're getting upset over nothing." Applejack spoke up calmly, "I mean, Twilight's probably found the secret already, right Twilight?"

"No." All conversation stopped as the five mares looked to their alicorn friend and a few other listening in carefully leaned in closer.

"Twilight? I could have sworn you said you didn't find out their secret?" Rarity inquired with a subtly-confused expression, "Is it behind some kind of magical curse?"

"Nope." Twilight replied, noting she was now a quarter of the way through the thickshake as she spooned out chunks of chocolate, "In fact, I can state after studying their primary form of ammunition; foam darts with plastic caps, that the magical effect that can do all of the things that Princess Celestia says they can do..."

Everyone leaned in closer.

"Doesn't exist." Everyone in the store let out a disappointed groan, one or two even falling over in their chairs.

"What." Rainbow Dash said, "But Princess Celestia told you-"

"She not only told me, she sent a film reel as proof." Twilight replied as she ate another spoonful and started chewing a rather large and stubborn piece of chocolate, "But there's nothing. I nearly asked Celestia if they were tampered, but they came under heavy guard and with seals from both the Griffon Imperial Kingdoms and Canterlot stating that the crates had not been tampered with. But I found nothing."

She swallowed, "As far as I am concerned, these are nothing more than plain foam darts fired by springs or sophisticated electric motors, and I told Spike to send a letter to Princess Celestia stating my opinion that she was being conned by the Griffins, because as far as I can tell, the Griffin's new weapons are a collection of rather loudly-painted toys."

At that moment, Spike walked into Sugarcube corner, a scroll in one claw and one of the so-called 'toys' in question clutched in the other, "Uh, Twilight?"

"Oh, Spike, what did Celestia say?" Twilight asked as she made another valiant effort to reduce the amount of thickshake inside her glass.

"Well, uh, she sent back a reply with instructions for me to read it out loud to you." Spike replied nervously, scratching the back of his head with the claw holding the scroll.

"Well, go ahead Spike, it's probably a public proclamation about these things being an attempt to defraud Equestria or something." Twilight stated confidently as Spike shrugged, unrolled the scroll, and then started reading.

"Dear Twilight Sparkle,

If you are hearing this, Spike is following my instructions and is reading this out loud to you. If this is happening in a public setting, all the better for what is going to happen.

I have received your report about the new Griffin weapons and your opinion on them being, as you stated: 'garish, overblown, spring-loaded toys' and your further opinion that I was being fooled or otherwise conned."

"You see?" Twilight stated with a smile.

"However, my dear and faithful student, I must rebut your assertions with a physical demonstration as I am certain no amount of words will dissuade you otherwise.

Spike is now going to use one of these 'toys' on you. If you are not affected and have him send a reply back immediately then I will concede your point and withdraw Equestria's offer for a supply of these weapons for the Royal Guard and Royal Constabulary. However, if I do not receive a reply back within one hour, I will consider my position vindicated and upon your return to consciousness, ask that you try harder to discover how these 'mere foam darts' can be so effective.

Spike, you may start now.

From,
Princess Celestia."

Spike rolled the scroll back up and pulled back on a handle with a loud click, "Sorry Twilight, but-"

"It's all right Spike," Twilight smiled gently as she pushed the glass to the side, "Like I said, these things are nothing more than-"

*SNAP!*

Author's Note:

Needless to say people, these NERF guns fire a lot longer and more accurately than what we know they can do.

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