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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Quick scan. Before I do anything else, SPACE OUT THOSE PARAGRAPHS! More to follow.
7892795 Thought I had, I blame Google-Docs.
7892810
Heh, it'll do that ya.
I'm partway through and I notice you're doing pretty well at representing actual African names and even some cultural practices. Nice going for saying tribes plural. Have you perchance spent some time on the continent?
7892817 I can't say I have. Republican Brony and myself spent about a year-and-a-half working on the tribal culture of the zebra, taking cues from several different real-life African cultures, as well as others from outside the continent. However, you'll have to wait a little longer to see some of those... Expect to see a Savannah as diverse as sub-Saharan Africa.
7892828
I think my fave speaks for itself... If you cut this fic off, God help you. I'll add this to groups.
Some advice: add this to as many applicable groups as you can. It's fallen from the front page and still yet lacks enough ratings to show reception; that is going to discourage future viewership until that is corrected. I need to sleep now, but I'll do a bit of that.
I cannot say enough good things about this amazing story. It's so rich, and the characters just pop off the page. It is a mere taste of a world and it leaves me wanting more. Plus the writing is so natural and engrossing I read through it all never wanting to stop and never noticing how many words had passed.
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7893254
Glad to see we've already got a couple of fans! I hope that we can keep you all entertained. With as much material as we have planned out the story should go on for quite a while with a break between each Arc. Believe it or not, this initially started as a one-shot writing exercise to get a few ideas out of our heads.
7892828
Stop calling me Republican, dang it!
7894684 The cake is a lie.
7894684
Heh, you don't say. Hey, mind if I give some more detailed feedback now, or you want me to wait until you've posted a bit more so I don't sound of prematurely?
7895896 Feel free to give whatever feedback you want, just remember you are commenting on one chapter.
Good start to a thrilling story.
Why all the tilde's? ~
8806158
Our characters like to hum, purr and otherwise put odd emphasis on their speech. It's a stylistic quirk, rooted in a bad habit of overusing ellipses.