I felt sorry for Big Mac throughout this chapter. Pinkie being her usual self, Rarity trying to sample the goods, Bulk sizing up the competition, and all the conversations throughout the day. If I was at the bar with him and just got the basics of his day, I would buy him a few rounds. He definitely needs it.

"Cheerilee and I once bought one of your cakes just to have sex on it." Big Mac replied, stunning both bakers into silence. "Now this conversation can be awkward for everybody involved."

Big Mac, you are my hero!

The only thing that chapter was missing was him getting awkwardly hit on by Sweetie Belle. Everything comes full circle.

Significant need for proofreading. Spellcheck helps but you need to look the story over again after that. Still, it's a fun story.

Big Mac is the man!

It hurt my eyes to read this chapter. It really did.

Big Mac's Log, Stud Date 01.

I see what you did there. Still, this means he has to eventually bang some mares roleplaying as green-furred space babes.

This story's main strength is the dialogue. There's a fun memorable line practically every paragraph.

The main weakness is the sex-scenes themselves. They're kind of lacking in description or emotion and have very little punch.

As things stand now I'd say the story might actually be stronger if all the sex was off-screen fade-to-black and more space was devoted to character interaction.

7465794
Well there are already green mares in equestrian so that's already half the work done

7466965
Thank you for the feedback. I am glad you like the dialogue. I will admit that I do have a lot of fun writing them.

As for the sex scenes, I value the criticism. I'll admit the reason I started this story was to see if I could write fics with sex in them. All of my previous work fit comfortably in the young adult section, not because I wanted to avoid sex, just because it never seemed to fit in the stories I was creating. Which is why I went with such a basic premise that in theory meant that the sex would be the focus of the story.

What I didn't expect to happen was to have so much fun with this premise just based to the characters reactions to what is unfolding. I was genuinely surprised when I realised this had turned into a story with an actual plot but I'm certainly not complaining. Though while I will probably focus more on the interactions going forward, I'm not quite ready to give up on the sex scenes. There are a few ideas that I have for future chapters that don't quite work if I made the sex simply be fade to black and I do want to see if I can get better at writing them. I will however work on making them feel more organic and in service to the plot instead of trying to force them into happening.

With that said, I'm open to suggestions on how to improve the sex scenes.

I just noticed that the character tags got switched. I thought originally I was going to see Lyra and Bon Bon, but now Photo Finish and Berry Punch are there. Still onto more sexy time for Big Mac.

7471970
Nothing has changed with what I have planned. I just thought I would try rotating a few of the character tags seeing as this story does have a rotating cast.

7472199

Ah.

moar plz?

7578053 7578189

Thanks for the feedback. That is a valid point about the fact that it should probabibly be Crown endorsed since the Equestrian government is a monarcy instead of a republic. Well, technically you could argue that it's a principality since the the head refers to her self as a princess instead of a queen but that's splitting hairs. I'll change it to crown endorsed.

If you have any suggestions on where to find an editor/beta that is willing to work on stories with clop in it, I'd be really gratefull since all the ones I know don't do anything above a T rating.

7578748
True. Though how about an Obama mic drop instead?

7585021

this might give you some ideas.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_warrant_of_appointment

One idea that popped into my head was which royal princess checked to see if Mac was worthy of the certification. ^+^

Just from reading your description.

Man, I really hope to see more of this! Maybe we could have a chapter where Mac gets hired by a mare to impregnate her, or one with Harshwhinny, or both!

7762057 A new chapter is on it's way soon. Sorry for the delay, the tail end of 2016 has been pretty hectic for me.

Can you imagine Zecora hiring Big Mac for services?!?!

7585021 When people have questions about Equestria's government I like to direct them to Oliver's blog on the subject. Which is probably the most thorough analysis ever done.

Big Mac x Cookie Crumbles FTW!

I think I'll classify this as one of my favorite chapters in this story.