Relationships are Evil

by TheTimeSword

Chapter 8: Villain Party

"Out of all the things I've had to deal with these past two weeks, this is the worst." Tirek held a stick of cotton candy in both of his hands. Fillies and colts screamed and shouted, ringing and cheering from others surrounded him.

"But is it worse than Tartarus?" Sombra asked. He tossed a dart against the wall, barely missing a brightly colored balloon.

"Of course not. I have you here to share the agony and I get to annoy Discord with my very presence," Tirek replied, chuckling as he answered.

Sombra grabbed another dart with his magic, aiming it as precise as he could. "Actually, I've been enjoying myself as of late. Even that apple-loving mare is tolerable." He sent the dart sailing forward, popping a pink balloon. "Though the pink one is a bit more disruptive for my liking."

With his mouth full of the fluffy candy, Tirek asked, "Have you gotten your chance to accompany Twilight at all?"

"No," Sombra replied, taking aim with his final dart. The pony behind the counter sat nervously to the side. "From my understanding, that'll be this week, along with a visit to the Ponyville Schoolhouse."

Tirek finished one of the sticks, watching as the unicorn flung the dart and popped the balloon closest to the head of the anxious pony. He threw the empty stick to the ground. “You have to do that as well? I suppose they want us to show how reformed we can be before allowing us to get close to Twilight Sparkle. Not that we can actually date her yet.”

“It’s annoying. While we have to spend time with her friends, Discord gets all the time he wants with her,” Sombra said as he lifted a stuffed animal off the wall of the kiosk. The pony behind the counter held his breath, not wanting to upset the two villains or tell them no.

“From what I’ve heard, it’s going well. You and I will have to play a lot of catchups if we’re going to have any chance of winning. I will not have that buffoon beat me,” Tirek replied. He finished the last of his sugary treat, leaving the paper stick on the counter.

Sombra placed the stuffed animal on his back atop the red, sapphire encrusted cape. "It doesn't help that I'm already lagging behind thanks to that hiccup on the first day." The two began walking away, relieving the fearful kiosk pony. They strolled along the path, in-between other party game stalls. Ponies chattering to each other, ignoring the two reformers.

“I wonder if I could get away with absorbing some unicorn magic.” Tirek placed a hand on his chin, looking around the festival for some easy prey.

“Oh please, the first sign of trouble and those six will come running. They have a knack for getting in our way. It’s definitely a deterrent for us if we were to try anything mischievous,” replied Sombra, pointing up at the rainbow mane floating above in the sky.

With a groan, Tirek frowned. “At least the food is palatable.” The two walked until they were underneath a banner, they both stared up at it with irritated expressions. White as a summer cloud and floating gently with the breeze, the banner held their names in captivating text, welcoming them to Ponyville. “At least, it seems they are beginning to trust us,” he said.

“It’s a shame, really. It may end up being their downfall."

Tirek raised an eyebrow, looking down at the black furred unicorn that stood next to him. He motioned to speak, but promptly closed his mouth, taking a moment to think before he said too much.

With green and purple, glowing eyes, Sombra looked up at Tirek. A grin cut across his face from sideburn to sideburn. “Don’t tell me you’ve already grown spineless. The great Tirek may actually have a soft spot for the ponies?”

“Do you take me for a fool? I’m not willing to play into your manipulative, little game. I will be the deciding factor for when I attack, and your provoking will not change that,” the centaur replied, mocking with a flick of his hands and a roll of his eyes.

“Tirek, Tirek… I’m not trying to rankle you. I’m just curious as to why you choose to stay and participate in this bet, instead of simply absorbing as much magic as you can and then scurrying away.”

Tirek lowered his eyes to match Sombra’s. “I was trapped in Tartarus and I have no desire to return. What is your excuse, whelp? You were already free.”

“To win, of course,” Sombra replied, still holding a conniving grin.

“Really? Nothing more?” Tirek asked. “That seems a little wasteful for the great King Sombra.”

“Oh, are we using titles now, Lord Tirek? And here I thought we were becoming close friends, shame really.”

“As if I would demean myself by becoming your ally,” replied Tirek, his tone brutishly mocked the dark unicorn.

Sombra turned his head and began walking away from the centaur. “Suit yourself. I’m sure you’ll change your mind,” he replied.

“You two getting along?” a familiar voice asked Tirek.

He shifted his focus from the parting unicorn to see who the voice could be, only to find that it was Twilight. He quickly unfurrowed his eyebrows in an attempt to look posh for the young princess. “Not really, we are competitors in a competition to win you, after all,” he jested.

With a glancing smile, she said, “Well, as long as you two aren’t at each other’s throats. Are you enjoying your party… err, festival? I’m shocked that Pinkie was able to throw all this together so quickly.”

Tirek crossed his arms as he looked out into the crowd. “The ponies greeted me at first, and now they all seem to be ignoring me,” he replied, “but they also aren’t giving me dirty looks. It’s definitely a change, compared to the first time I arrived in Equestria with my brother.”

“Well, Ponyville is a melting pot of every culture, and it helps that it’s also the home to the Princess of Friendship. The ponies here are willing to forgive easily, especially when the pony, or centaur, shows that they are trying to make an effort towards amity,” she stated.

“Aren’t you afraid that I’ll earn your friendship just so I can break it?” he asked. Twilight couldn’t help but let out a roar of laughter at Tirek’s question. He simply crossed his arms, slightly annoyed by the response to his inquiry.

Once she finally stopped, still wiping the tears from her eyes, she replied, “Tirek, Discord broke his friendship with us to join you. After you betrayed him, he understood what friendship was all about and our bond with him became stronger. I expect that you’ll learn from his mistake, but if you don’t, then there’s no doubt in my mind that the same thing will happen to you.”

He began to fidget with his beard, contemplating her words. “Do you have that much faith in me, or is it in the magic of your supposed friendship?”

“Both,” she said with a smile.

Opening his mouth to speak, the words refused to leave his throat. The idea that a pony had even an inkling of faith in him, that he could become a good friend, it left him speechless. These ponies are blindingly gullible, he thought, staring down at the young alicorn. Or maybe I’m the one who is blind.

“Oh, before I forget. Sombra will be participating as a speaker at the schoolhouse, just like you. He’ll be first this week, Starlight will be his chaperone while he’s there. Then, after a few days, it’ll be your turn and she’ll be chaperoning you as well. Please be kind to Starlight, she’s just as new to this as you,” Twilight said.

He gave a quick nod before asking, “And when will I get to spend time with you?”

Twilight’s face flushed redder than burning coals. “Y-You want to spend time with me?”

“Well, of course,” he replied, raising an eyebrow to her question. “I want to win this bet just as much as the others, but I can't do that until I've reformed. You're the deciding factor in our reformation. Neither me, nor Sombra, have been given that chance and it’s become rather annoying.”

“I’m actually surprised you want to spend time with me. Okay. You got it. While Sombra is at the schoolhouse, you’ll be spending the day with me, and vice versa,” she said, a smile bloomed across her blushing face like spring flowers.

Tirek placed a hand on the back of his neck, confused as to how he should feel about her reddening face. He rubbed his nape, trying to think of a response, but as he opened his mouth to speak he was interrupted by a crowd of foals. They rushed up and gathered around his legs, eyes as bright as sunlight shining off a still lake.

“He really is a centaur!” a filly shouted.

“He’s a lot smaller than I remember…” Scootaloo said.

“Wh-what’s going on? What are you all doing?” Tirek shouted, confused by the eruption of cheery foals.

“Whoa, Tirek. Looks like you’ve got a fan club.” Twilight chuckled softly to herself.

He looked up from his feet, glaring at Twilight. “What do you mean?” he shouted angrily.

“Tirek! Tirek! Is it true you’re going to be a good guy now?” asked one of the small colts.

“I… I mean, I guess.” Tirek tried to answer, but was overwhelmed by the sudden amount of intrigue. “Does it matter?”

“Princess Twilight! Is Tirek really going to reform like Discord?” Diamond Tiara trotted over from the other foals, looking up at the alicorn.

Twilight looked at her, then to Tirek. His eyes were as desperate as a starving pony. She looked back at the filly and answered, “I think he’s on the right track, but I believe he could use an extra push. Do you all want to help?”

“We get to help!?” Apple Bloom rushed over with a few of the others.

Tirek looked at Twilight, the entire group of foals began rushing over to stand in front of the princess, and he gave a quick sigh of relief. His frown faltered for a moment, shifting to a smile, something that Twilight briefly caught.

“He needs to be shown how to have fun, so let’s play a game. How about hide and seek, you all go hide and Tirek will come find you?” Twilight replied, grinning in anticipation of Tirek’s reaction.

As his face filled with frustration, he looked down at the smiling fillies and colts, their eyes glistening like thousands of lit candles. He gave another, more exaggerated sigh. “Alright, go hide…” The foals immediately ran away screaming, startling the adult ponies and causing them to stare in his direction. He felt their immediate gaze, a sense of awkwardness washed over him, perhaps for the first time in his life.

“Tirek.” He turned his attention to Twilight, still feeling the humility gathering in the pit of his stomach. “Don’t worry about anypony else. The kids know how to have fun, so try to learn from them. I know how much you love chasing ponies,” Twilight said, chuckling under her breath.

“Now, I know you’re playing me, and I do enjoy it,” he replied, a smile shined on his face. For the first time in his stay it was not a maniacal or malevolent smile, but one that appeared to be pure of joy. He then shouted, “Ready or not, here I come!” Twilight watched as he ran off in search of the foals, a sense of pride filled her heart.

“Oh dear. Is somepony falling for a certain centaur?”

“W-What?” Twilight exclaimed, her face filled to the brim with a pink tint.

Rarity grinned, giggling at the flustered alicorn. “I’d say by your face that I’m correct. You really are a lucky mare, three gentlecolts vying for your attention. Though I don’t envy you having to choose,” she said.

“C-Choose? Oh, I never really, I mean, why do I have to choose?” Twilight stuttered, trying to pick the best words through her embarrassment.

“Darling! How risqué! I wouldn’t have thought multiple partners would be your thing, dearie. Though a male harem does sound simply marvelous to the ears,” she replied.

“W-WHAT!?” Twilight shouted, causing ponies to stare in her direction. She quickly covered her mouth, feeling the same sort of embarrassment Tirek had felt moments ago. “I don’t mean like that, Rarity! I just mean, I’m sure there will be a clear winner and I won’t have to choose,” she whispered through her covered lips.

“Yes, I’m sure that’s what you meant. However, you really should think long and hard about the few broad shouldered boys who could carry your books around, feeding you grapes straight from the vine, and giving you pampered hooficures,” Rarity replied. A smug grin wrapped around her jaw. “Discord would be there too, I guess.”

“Rarity! You make them sound like servants or something.”

Her grin increasing from ear to ear. “They could be wonderful servants in the bedroom, I’d imagine."

Twilight’s face shifted from the pink coloring of embarrassment to a dark shade of red. “R-Rarity!” was all she could say.

“I’m just teasing, darling,” Rarity said, glee in her voice.

With a sigh, Twilight replied, “Sorry. I’m just a little stressed out.”

“You really do look exhausted, actually.” Rarity placed a hoof on Twilight’s chin, looking deep into her tired eyes. “I think the others can handle the festivities. We’ll get you home and you can have a nice rest.”

“That actually sounds nice. Thank you Rarity.” The two mares began making their way to her castle, gossiping about the romantic candidates and the worries of what might happen.

Once they arrived, Rarity pulled open the castle door and asked, “So, if you had to choose one right now, who would you pick?”

Twilight stepped inside the castle’s foyer. “Hmm, well, that’d be a tough choice,” she replied.

“Would it get harder to choose if there was a fourth candidate?” Rarity inquired, closing the door behind them.

“Oh geez, a fourth? I’m not sure I could handle that. I can barely keep up with these three, and they’re already wanting more from me,” Twilight replied. She zoned out for a moment, her exhaustion at its peak. She stared up the stairs as she became lost in thought. “Who would it even be?”

“Perhaps instead of another male egotist, it would be a mare. Somepony that could truly fulfill your every desire,” Rarity said, brushing up against Twilight and rubbing their tails together.

Twilight could feel her heart shoot up into her throat, the idea of a friend being romantically interested in her wasn’t something she had ever considered. “Ruh-Rarity?”

Pressing her muzzle against Twilight’s ear, Rarity whispered, “Would you like that idea? A mare and you, alone in your bedroom, while the town is completely busy.”

“Rarity… I had no idea. T-This isn’t like you,” Twilight said as she backed away, tripping and falling onto the steps of the staircase.

The white unicorn smiled at Twilight, slowly walking towards her. A lusty, but sophisticated, glow radiated from her. “I suppose I should give up this charade before I make you upset. After all, I do want to win this bet for myself, and I can’t do that if you won’t give me a chance.”

“Bet? Rarity, I don’t understand,” she nervously replied. Her eyes then lit up with the green, fiery glow that emitted from the supposed Element of Generosity. The fire raged up Rarity’s legs in an instant, transforming the white body of the mare into a blackened coat, blue hair replacing the prim and proper purple mane.

“Would you like to marry a queen?” asked the modulated, shrill voice.

Twilight stared into the bright green eyes, past the coal colored face. “Q-Queen… C-C-Chrysalis!?” she yelled out, her face draining of color. Her vision began to darken, the high-pitched laughter rang in her ears as she passed out, finally succumbing to the overwhelming stress.

Comments

[Starlight Nova]

Well I must say this story is unique. Most stories make Tirek be beyond redemption.

[Moonlight Dusksinger]

and now chrysalis who is kinda the not so bad compared to the other three has joined in.

SInce chrysalis if you think about it only invade canterlot to gather food for her subjects sure it was desparated but its very survival.

[DualKitsune]

There she is!!

[Razzy]

Aww yeah, Queenie is here!

[The REAL Mister Pkmn]

“Yes, I’m sure that’s what you meant.

I read this as a sarcastic remark. I still don't know why.

[Wydril]

“Darling! How risqué! I wouldn’t have thought multiple partners would be your thing, dearie. Though a male harem does sound simply marvelous to the ears,” she replied.

Well then.