Relationships are Evil

by TheTimeSword

Chapter 11: Queen Discord

“Alright you three, have a good time today. I’ll be back this afternoon to pick Chrysalis up.” Starlight said her goodbyes to the draconequus, the changeling, and the pegasus. She was leaving the changeling queen in the care of Fluttershy and Discord under the orders from Twilight, hoping they could handle her ferocious personality. A definite test for the draconequus's capabilities.

“So who should we gossip about first?” Discord asked as soon as the door shut, giggling like a school filly.

“D-Discord! We do not gossip,” Fluttershy replied. She turned and looked at Chrysalis. “We simply discuss things that are happening in our lives and our friends’ lives. Sometimes that leads to speculation.”

Chrysalis raised an eyebrow to Fluttershy’s explanation. “Uh huh. Well, how about we discuss Tirek. After all, things apparently went very well for him yesterday.”

With an irritated groan, Discord replied, “I’m sure he’ll just throw it away. He is a backstabber, after all.”

“I don’t know Discord, he could have done it yesterday and didn’t,” Fluttershy mentioned. “I really think he is changing, and that’s something you should be proud of.”

“Me? Why I should I be proud of anything that manipulative centaur does?” he argued, snapping a cookie in half.

“You’re the greatest example of what it means to be a friend. Even after your, uhm, betrayal, you still turned out to be a very good friend. I think that’s what he wants, he just doesn’t know it yet,” she commended. “And I believe somepony else will soon share that feeling.” She coyly smiled at Chrysalis.

With a roll of her eyes, the queen responded, “Yes, yes. Friendship, wonderful thing, grand adventures.”

“I honestly don’t care if he reforms or not, but if he thinks he can wiggle his way into Twilight’s heart before me, well, I will not lose this bet to him. It’s already bad enough that Twilight wants to utilize my help in the redeeming process! Though, it may give me a chance to create a little sprinkle of chaos for him.” His teacup filled with sprinkles, to which he quickly poured down his throat.

“Wait, you’re going to be helping us reform? That’s a riot! I figured you were nothing more than a moral story,” Chrysalis demeaned, cackling with shrill laughter.

Discord snapped his fingers and a blue police uniform appeared on his body. “I’ll be making sure you don’t get into any trouble too,” he replied, swinging a nightstick.

The changeling queen let out another roar of laughter, her blue hair swaying as her head rocked back and forth. Her sudden, sharp laughter caused the fearful pegasus to tense up, almost dropping the plate of cookies held in her hooves. Once Chrysalis finally finished her laughing fit, she looked to Discord with teary eyes, noticing how annoyed he looked.

“Discord, Discord, Discord. How do you expect to keep us in line? You’ve got a centaur who can eat your magic, a unicorn that can destroy your mind, and a changeling who can…” she paused, a green flash of flames circled around her. As the white fur appeared, shining against the bright orange cutie mark on her flank, the multi-colored mane began to flow majestically on its own. “…Change into anypony they desire,” her voice said, matching the accent of Celestia herself.

“Oh, my…” Fluttershy softly spoke.

A slight chuckle came from the draconequus. “Tirek can’t steal my magic in his current form, Sombra has nothing more than nightmares, and you?” He flicked his wrist, transforming the changeling’s eyes to a pink hue. “Now I will always know who you are.”

“And how could you possibly know that?” she questioned.

With another flick of his wrist, a mirror appeared in his hand, to which he promptly held to Chrysalis’ face. “That sparkle in your eye just calls out to me,” he sassed.

Chrysalis gasped at the sight, the adorable color mismatched her disguise. She quickly transformed into a different pony, the eye color staying the same. Again and again, she transformed until she reverted back to her original form. “Change it back!” she growled.

“Hmm, let me think about it,” he said, the costume vanished off his body. “Mm, no.”

She jumped onto the coffee table, the anger filled her eyes like two holes burning into a blanket. She yelled again, “Change it back right now!”

“And what are you going to do about it? Hmm?” he replied, laughing in her face.

“Discord, please change her eyes back,” the yellow pegasus politely commanded.

The two stopped their bickering and looked towards Fluttershy, both surprised by her demand. “Fluttershy, it’s for everyone’s protection, you can’t be serious,” Discord pleaded.

Fluttershy shook her head, an affectionate smile still on her face. “As long as she truly wishes to reform, she will be given the benefit of the doubt. If we took your powers away while you were being redeemed, don’t you think it would have taken you longer to reform, maybe even failed to do so?”

“Oh sweet, innocent Fluttershy. Your kind naivety knows no bounds, though I’m sure we’ll be regretting this.” With a snap of his fingers, the queen’s eyes shifted back to their normal hue. “There you are, queenie.”

Chrysalis lifted the mirror up once more, staring deeply into her bright green eyes, a sadistic smile across her face. “There you are my lovelies, momma missed you,” she creepily remarked.

“Um, Queen Chrysalis?” squeaked Fluttershy.

The changeling continued to gaze into the mirror, looking at the young pegasus in her peripherals. “Yes, little one?”

Fluttershy nervously asked, “Would you mind getting down from my table? If not, that’s okay.” A worried smile barely visible past the overshadowed pink mane.

“You have been so kind, my dear,” she replied, stepping down off the table. “And I really should get out of your hair completely.” Chrysalis whisked herself over to the door, opening it with her magic.

“Wait! You can’t leave, we’re supposed to watch you!” Fluttershy called out, lifting herself up off the couch.

With a ridiculing laugh, the queen looked back at the pony. “Sorry dear, I go where I please. I am a queen after all. If you are meant to guard me, then you better keep up.” She then drifted out the door.

“W-Wait!” Fluttershy begged once more, chasing after the changeling queen.

“I suppose brunch is canceled?” Discord loudly asked, but the two had already left the hearing range. He rose from his seat, quickly chomping down on a teacup before teleporting away. Once he reappeared, with a mouthful of ceramics, he asked, “Are we going on a road trip? Are we there yet?”

Fluttershy walked alongside Chrysalis, unnerved by the difference in size. “W-Where are we go-going? If you d-don’t mind me a-asking.” she stutteringly asked.

The queen vaguely answered, “Ponyville. May as well meet my new subjects. I am going to win this bet, after all. I can't imagine reforming will be hard, and then it's just a stepping stone from dating.”

“You? Win? As if you could worm your way to the top,” Discord snorted.

“Oh… Oh no.” Fluttershy had received specific instructions not to bring up anything bug related to Chrysalis, but she had not considered Discord didn’t get the same memo.

Chrysalis immediately stopped in her tracks, whipping her head around to scowl at Discord. “Are you comparing me to a worm?” she furiously asked.

He simply laughed in her face, which was becoming a common occurrence, and replied, “A worm? No, I don’t do insect puns… They really bug me!”

“Do you think you’re funny?” Chrysalis snarled, bearing her sharp fangs.

“Well, I do put the fun in dysfunctional!”

The queen rolled her eyes, retaining her composure. “I’m going to suffocate you while you sleep,” she hissed, then continued her walk into town.

Fluttershy looked up at Discord, a sulking expression in her posture. She halted the draconequus from proceeding after the changeling, waiting till she was out of earshot before asking, “Discord, could you please tone down the jokes?”

“Why should I? She is competition after all!”

“Well, yes, but you’re supposed to help them reform, remember? If you don’t make a good impression, or if you cause someone to fail, you might make Twilight mad and end up losing the bet,” she explained. "Chrysalis is only in the reforming process, you don't have to worry about her right now."

Discord threw his arms around the pegasus, clutching her in a bear hug. “Oh dear sweet Fluttershy, you just want me to win, don’t you? The idea of your two close friends getting together must warm your heart. You really are a caring friend.”

“Well, I have put some thought into it, and it would be really nice, and…” She then pushed away from the draconequus, allowing her a moment to look around. “Wait, D-Discord? Where’s Chrysalis?”

He immediately let go of the pegasus, plopping her rump on the ground. A telescope appeared in his hand to which he immediately scanned the area, eventually spotting the blue haired hoodlum entering Ponyville. “She is a quick little bee, isn’t she? Come on Fluttershy. No time to sit around.”

With a snap of his fingers, the two disappeared, reappearing in Ponyville. He smiled with glee, thinking Chrysalis was near, but to his surprise she was nowhere to be seen. “Where is she, Discord?” asked Fluttershy.

“I-I don’t know. She was right here. How can she be so quick? All those holes must make her aerodynamic!” he frantically replied.

The two skimmed the area, scouring for a black coat and blue mane. Fluttershy flew up high, attempting to get an aerial view while Discord searched through the crowds, examining each pony individually. With no changeling in sight, Fluttershy glided back down to the draconequus.

“Please tell me you found her, Discord.”

He turned to her, saying, “I’ve looked everywhere! I’ve been through this town with a fine-tooth comb!” With a chuckle, he showed her a magnifying glass with a comb on one end. “Get it?”

“Discord! This is no time to make jokes! It’ll be our fault if she hurts somepony,” she timidly rebuked.

“You two seem to be in a hurry. What’s gotten you in such a tizzy?” Twilight asked as she loomed behind them, causing the two hunters to gulp.

They looked at each other, then back to Twilight. Discord quickly offered a tale. “Us? Well, it seems I’ve lost my contacts. Fluttershy told me to keep an eye on them, but only in hindsight could I see that she was right!” He exaggerated his laughter while Fluttershy nervously chuckled along.

Twilight raised an eyebrow, not giving into Discord’s pun-filled quips. “Aren’t you two supposed to be watching Chrysalis?”

“We were, honest! But, she kind of disappeared,” Fluttershy immediately admitted, unable to lie to any extent.

“Disappeared?” asked Twilight.

Discord clapped his hands together, becoming invisible. “It’s like she vanished into thin air! Maybe went back home to her hive, you know how bugs are. She may never return, woe is us! At least it’s one less competitor,” he jested, becoming visible once more.

With annoyance exploding in her tone, Twilight heatedly replied, “Chrysalis was not to be let out of sight until she has proven she truly wants to reform. Just like you, Discord, where we always had you in the company of a pony during your reforming. Yet, even then, you still managed to cause trouble. Imagine how much damage she could cause to the ponies of Ponyville, she could even disguise as Princess Celestia for crying out loud!”

He stood there, hand on his cheek, taking the brunt of her commanding tone. With eyes squinted like a newborn foal, he stared at Twilight as she spoke. With a swift grasp, he lifted Twilight up by the cheeks, squishing and pulling her face.

“D-Discord!?” Fluttershy yelled, surprised by his sudden action.

“Relax Fluttershy. This is clearly the bug queen herself, simply trying to make us feel bad for losing her, but I saw through the cheap disguise,” he replied, chuckling as he attempted to squish her back into her changeling form.

Twilight’s face grimaced more and more with each passing second. “Discord. Put me down right now,” she demanded.

“Not until you change back, you little pest!” he replied.

“Discord, I really think you should s-stop,” the pegasus pleaded.

“I told you, not until she changes-” He turned to look at Fluttershy, noticing the queen standing next to her “-back.” He immediately dropped Twilight, a thud rang out as her butt hit the ground. “Oops.”

Twilight rose to her hooves, rubbing her backside. “Oops is right. It seems that it may have been a mistake to entrust you with anything important, Discord.”

“She’s the one who ran off!” retorted Discord defensively.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Are you not the Lord of Chaos? Because the Lord of Chaos could have handled one little changeling with ease,” she angrily replied, glaring at him from the corner of her eye as she waltzed over to Fluttershy and Chrysalis. “Sorry to put you through all this, Fluttershy. I’m sure it was hard to manage both these two.”

Fluttershy’s eyes drooped like a wilted flower. “It’s not his fault Twilight. It-it’s both of ours.”

“And I’m sure he was more of a distraction than a boon,” she objected. “I’ll take Chrysalis off your hooves for the rest of the day. I don’t want any more pressure to be placed on your shoulders.”

“A-Alright, if you insist.” The yellow pegasus darted her eyes between her two close friends, trying to ease the awkward tension with quick and simplistic replies.

“Would you mind watching her again tomorrow?” Twilight asked, turning her head to Discord. “Without another distraction to hinder you, that is.”

“Oh, um, okay,” Fluttershy quietly responded.

Twilight wrapped a hoof around Fluttershy, embracing her in a hug and whispering, “You’re the best.” She then turned around to face Discord, a glower covered her eyes like the chill of an eerie grave. “Come along Chrysalis, I’m sorry I had to cut your visit with Fluttershy short.”

The changeling queen followed behind Twilight, but not before giving Discord an evil, smug grin. He wanted to retaliate. Sticking his tongue out, pulling down his eyelid, or maybe transforming himself into a bug. Instead, he did nothing, standing silently like a passing cloud. After they had left, Fluttershy spoke his name several times, attempting to talk to the draconequus. He eventually snapped back to reality. Perturbed and infuriated, he let out a grunt, giving Fluttershy a pathetic stare.

“Discord… A-Are you alright?” she asked.

“You were right to worry, Fluttershy. I shouldn’t have been making jokes, I should have been more careful, but that queen bee played me like a fiddle,” he muttered. “It was our job to watch her, I had the power to stop her and I didn’t use it.”

She glided up and placed a hoof on his shoulder. “It’s just as much my fault, don’t beat yourself up.”

He shook his head. “No, I won’t place the blame on you, you don’t deserve that. Plus, all that matters is what Twilight thinks and that can’t be too good for me.”

“Do you want to go back to my place and finish brunch? Maybe talk this through?” she asked.

An unmistakably fake smile crossed his face as he answered, “No, no. I’m just going to head home. Would you mind if I come by later? Maybe we can talk about this then.”

“O-Oh, okay. Come by anytime.” Fluttershy then placed her forelegs around his neck, whispering into his ear, “Don’t give up.”

He placed his arms around her, twirling in circles as they hugged. “Give up? I’m Discord, I’d never give up!” he shouted, returning to his cheery disposition. The two shared each other’s laughter before going their separate ways. Discord immediately teleported to his chaotic home, whilst Fluttershy sauntered her way back to the cottage, the door still wide open.

She gave a deep sigh upon entering the doorway, gently closing the door shut and then sliding her back against the wooden entrance. As she sat morosely on the floor, Angel Bunny hopped over, curious as to why she looked troubled. With gloom written all over her face like bad makeup, she looked up, noticing the white rabbit. "Oh, Angel. Discord’s in trouble with Twilight and it’s all my fault. What am I going to do?"

Placing his paws on his furry hips, he gave a stern look to the yellow pegasus. Fluttershy understood exactly what he was saying, even if he didn’t use words. She scooped him up, pressing his body against her neck in a loving, gentle hug. "Okay, Angel. You’re right, I’ll do it!"

Comments

[Razzy]

Wow, she's a player alright.

[The REAL Mister Pkmn]

Wow. Didn't expect Discord to fall for those tricks.