• Published 1st Mar 2016
  • 5,525 Views, 242 Comments

Relationships are Evil - TheTimeSword



Twilight's pretty good at reforming villains, but is she good at dating them? Starlight seems to think so. Can Discord win the bet for Twilight's heart before another villain sweeps her off her hooves? Maybe it's better she just stays single.

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Chapter 4: Home

“And here we are!” The door slowly creaked open, the castle’s crystal walls reflecting the outside light. “Home sweet home,” Twilight said as she walked inside, Tirek and Starlight following behind. “Spike? We’re back. We’ve got company.”

“Very impressive. I don’t remember this castle being here, I would have seen it as I crushed my way through your city.” Tirek looked around the foyer, his chained bracers rattling as he stroked his beard.

“Well, this castle wouldn’t have formed without your defeat, so it’s thanks to you that it’s even here. I think you’ll be pleased with your stay here. It’s much better than sleeping on the ground every day in Tartarus,” replied Twilight. “However, now is the moment of truth. Starlight, the key.”

Starlight levitated a key from inside her saddle bag and over to Tirek, close to his chained arms.

With a strong sense of curiosity, Tirek asked, “What’s this then?”

“When we released Discord, we had necklaces that contained the power of the Elements of Harmony. Discord had all of his powers, he had the ability to choose whether or not to use them. Since then, we have discovered the power in ourselves, albeit thanks to you,” replied Twilight.

Placing the key into the bracers, Starlight unlocked them, releasing both of Tirek’s arms from their hold. The magical power contained in the bracers, now gone, allowing him to once again absorb unicorn magic. The chains fell to the ground, rattling against the crystal floor.

“There is not a full proof plan on reforming villains, but I believe giving you the freedom to choose is what defines whether or not you wish to reform or are simply lying.”

Tirek felt the flesh that had been covered by the arm-guards, rubbing it for the first time in ages. “I’m free. Free to absorb you and take your magical energy. I could sap your powers right here, right now.” Starlight stepped back, fearful that she would be the first to have her magic devoured.

“Then do it,” demanded Twilight, she stepped between Starlight and Tirek. “Absorb me.” The grimace on her face told Tirek she wasn’t bluffing.

With a maniacal grin across his face, he placed a hand atop her forehead. “You are the first pony to willingly give me a chance in over a millennia. Perhaps you are a fool to do so. Perhaps I am an even bigger fool for not taking advantage of your foolishness. Time will tell.” He released his hand from its placement.

A sigh of relief came from Starlight, fearful that she had endangered the life of her mentor. “Well that was certainly stressful,” she muttered under her breath.

Twilight laughed, retorting, “You think that was stressful? We’ve got a whole year of this, and that’s if things go well. Now where’s Spike? I called him ages ago.” Twilight looked up the stairs, calling out once more to the purple dragon. “Spike? Where are you?”

“Should I go find him?” asked Starlight.

“Yes, please. Check this floor while I take our new arrival up to the guest quarters.”

With a nod, Starlight was off to search the castle. Twilight and Tirek traveled up the staircase, and down the hall to the second stairway. They noticed rose petals were covering the ground of this second staircase, flooding the floor with reds and pinks. Twilight thought to herself, what has that dragon gotten himself into this time?

“Is this a normal occurrence, or do you receive all your guests with such lovely arrangements?” asked Tirek, a sarcastic inflection in his voice. He felt the rose petals squishing underneath his hooves, wincing at the strange feeling they gave.

Twilight replied with a jape of her own. “Oh no, this is all special, just for you. In the morning I’ll have Starlight bring in a golden platter, filled with our finest cider and plates of ambrosia.”

He smirked. “You are a quick one, Twilight Sparkle.”

As they followed the petals up the stairs, Twilight noticed they led directly to her bedroom door. “This floor is the bedrooms, yours is the one on the right at the beginning of this hall. Please make yourself comfortable while I investigate this… quandary.” She slowly followed the petals to the left side of the hall.

Tirek gave a somber eye to the bedroom door that was supposedly his. He was curious about the rose petals but was genuinely interested in his new living quarters. With a shrug, he strolled over to the room, leaving her to her investigation.

Twilight grasped the door knob with her magic, pulling it open in one swift motion. The room was completely dark, the blinds and curtains were closed. She took a few steps inside, the petals smooshing underneath her hooves, a snap of some fingers echoed from the darkness. Candles immediately began to light all around the room, revealing the contents it contained.

“What in the world?” she asked to herself, not realizing there was someone in the room with her. When she finally looked to the bed, she noticed the canopy had been drawn, a silhouette on the other side. “H-Hello?”

“Hello, Twilight Sparkle.” The deep, sultry voice rang out from the bed. The canopy parted, revealing the voice to be none other than Discord himself.

“Discord!?” she exclaimed. He was lying on his side, a single rose clenched between his teeth, a silky sheet barely covering his pelvis. Her face became flushed, this was the first time she had ever seen something so provocative. The most she had ever experienced was a romance novel, once given to her by the Princess of Love.

He took the rose out of his mouth, giving it a quick sniff. “I’ve been waiting for you, lover,” he replied, just as Tirek stepped to the doorway. With the most feminine shriek Tirek had ever heard, Discord dropped the rose, quickly covering himself.

Tirek could barely choke back the laughter. “Did I… interrupt?” he barely stammered out.

“I, uh, well, I’m, uhm. Wow.” Twilight couldn’t help but fail to regain her composure, still struck with shock from the amorously passionate scene that Discord had put together.

“What is he doing loose!? You should be in Tartarus right now!” Discord shouted. He pointed a finger, sending out a bolt of magic in the centaur’s direction.

“No!” Twilight yelled as she shook off her stupor. Immediately, she cast a bubble around her and Tirek, defending him from Discord’s attack. “Tirek is here on my behalf, Discord. Stand down!”

Discord teleported off the bed, into the bubble with the two of them. He then grabbed her by the face, pushing his against hers. “You let him out!? Are you trying to compete with me for the title of Spirit of Chaos? I’ve been the champion for three thousand years, but I think you may have just beaten me! You’d have to have a few screws lose to free him!”

Twilight lowered the shield and pushed him away before responding. “Well, I’ll agree with you there. It is pretty ridiculous but it’s the truth. We’re going to try and reform him. He's also part of the bet to win my heart." She then turned her head to hide her blushing. "Though, I’m actually a little mesmerized with your presentation, Discord.”

“What!” Discord shouted. “You mean I have to deal with competition too!? This is an outrage! This is unbelievable! This is… Wait, did you say mesmerized?”

She rolled her eyes at him just as Starlight came running up the stairs. “Twilight? I heard a scream! Are you alright?”

“In here Starlight,” she called out.

Starlight followed the rose petals up to the door. “What’s with the, oh. My goodness.” She looked upon Discord, then the bed behind him, along with the mood lighting amongst the room. “Guess we know what he's been up to now,” she said.

“This is her fault, isn’t it? She’s the one that got you freed?” Discord eyed Tirek up and down, still fuming with rage at the sight of the centaur.

Tirek's eyebrows pushed together as he smirked. “What’s the matter Discord, afraid I’ll beat you in this bet? Or are you still upset with me manipulating your fragile, little heart.” Tirek guffawed at the draconequus. The ability to poke and prod Discord with quips made him feel as if becoming reformed was legitimately worth it.

“Oh please, did you hear her say she was captivated by my effort? I’d say I’m fairly close to winning this already. You should just head back to the underworld, where you belong.” Discord crossed his arms, turning his muzzle up at the centaur.

“Come now Discord, you and I both know that I’m the one who tells believable lies,” replied Tirek with a cackling laugh. “All those years in stone must have made you extremely weak, even your insults are lacking.”

Twilight groaned at the two of them, nothing annoyed her more than the bravado of two males arguing. She turned to Starlight and asked, “Did you find Spike?”

“No, I don’t know where he could be.”

Discord interrupted the barrage of name-calling between Tirek and him to answer Twilight’s question. “Spike is with Fluttershy, I asked him to head there so that I could have time to set up. Now as I was saying, you half-breed…”

A knock at the door could barely be heard over the two masculinities colliding. “That might be him,” said Starlight.

“Just in time. Alright Starlight, you’re up. Make sure they don’t kill each other while I go catch Spike up on all the details,” Twilight replied, a bit of a giggle left her lips as she began walking away from the three of them. The sounds of their arguing could still be heard from the staircase.

As she trotted down the stairs, still stepping on petals along the way, another knock came from the door. “Spike, you don’t have to knock, you know. You live here after all.” She trotted down the hall and to the staircase leading to the first floor.

A petal got stuck to one of her hooves and she tried to wipe it off on the ground. Too distracted by the petal, she opened the castle door with her magic, failing to see who was really knocking. “Spike, you really shouldn’t leave the castle just because Discord told you to.”

Using her magic, she finally peeled the petal off the bottom of her hoof. When she looked up, she saw not a small, purple dragon, but a tall, black haired stallion.