again, nice but there are points for improvement. It would have really benefited if there was some time between the laxative kicking in and Twilight actually messing. That Twilight has severe cramps and is just waiting to finally mess to get it out of her system. It would have build it up more. Also to have her wet as well isn't necessary, you should cut that. A nice touch would be if Fluttershy slightly overfeeds Twilight, that after the feeding Twilight feels overstuffed and knows she'll mess again within 24 hours. Also spent some time with Twilight stewing in her messy diaper and actually thinking about it, you rushed that over and that was kind of the most important element of a punishment. Splitting up the paragraphs more would make it easier to read.
This chapter... I do not approve. It felt far too rushed and details were skipped. This chapter really need some cleanup, and I don't mean spelling either. There needs to be longer sections where Twilight actually has time to react. There needs to be details explaining how she feels sitting in the playpen for 10 minutes. There is a good bit of time that seems to be skipped, even if it is just a few minutes.
again, nice but there are points for improvement.
It would have really benefited if there was some time between the laxative kicking in and Twilight actually messing. That Twilight has severe cramps and is just waiting to finally mess to get it out of her system. It would have build it up more. Also to have her wet as well isn't necessary, you should cut that. A nice touch would be if Fluttershy slightly overfeeds Twilight, that after the feeding Twilight feels overstuffed and knows she'll mess again within 24 hours. Also spent some time with Twilight stewing in her messy diaper and actually thinking about it, you rushed that over and that was kind of the most important element of a punishment.
Splitting up the paragraphs more would make it easier to read.
This chapter... I do not approve. It felt far too rushed and details were skipped. This chapter really need some cleanup, and I don't mean spelling either. There needs to be longer sections where Twilight actually has time to react. There needs to be details explaining how she feels sitting in the playpen for 10 minutes. There is a good bit of time that seems to be skipped, even if it is just a few minutes.