nice, I like it. one way to make the end a little less sappy is to make Fluttershy a little stricter, that she actually does give Twilight a punishment later on and that Twilight herself is more forceful with her. That instead of doing it in a gentle way she challenges her and says that as a pet she is at Fluttershy's mercy. You should make it a little harsher.
Well, yet another chapter. I don't feel this chapter was as good as previous ones. This one felt a little stressed and more out of place. The argument between Twilight and Fluttershy was resolved too quickly and their reactions felt out of place, considering only a few lines of text before Twilight was fuming. The pacing needs a bit of work there, but otherwise it was kind of a bland chapter.
nice, I like it.
one way to make the end a little less sappy is to make Fluttershy a little stricter, that she actually does give Twilight a punishment later on and that Twilight herself is more forceful with her. That instead of doing it in a gentle way she challenges her and says that as a pet she is at Fluttershy's mercy.
You should make it a little harsher.
6972572 should have been gave her a hug. I fixed it thanks for pointing it out.
Well, yet another chapter. I don't feel this chapter was as good as previous ones. This one felt a little stressed and more out of place. The argument between Twilight and Fluttershy was resolved too quickly and their reactions felt out of place, considering only a few lines of text before Twilight was fuming. The pacing needs a bit of work there, but otherwise it was kind of a bland chapter.