Rainbow, after getting to know him better at the Gala and The Rainbow Falls, has quite the crush on Soarin. With the Wonderbolts in Ponyville for a celebration, tonight is going to be her best chance at asking him out. As long as she doesn't blow it.
Just a question how long do you think this is going to go on for? Like are we going to see the wedding or would that be a different story? Idk just curious
70045557004680 Yup, one more chapter to go on this little story here. "She Rides It", in case you were wondering what the title is going to be.
Like Corey19 said, people are free to add sequel/prequel ideas for my fics to the Big Box-o'-Requests. Though, I should figure out what I would do if someone with an idea pertaining to someone else's idea was chosen. Like if someone submitted an idea for a sequel to this, I assume you (Corey) would like to be a part of making it.
Who knows? Guess I'll worry about it if it ever happens.
7005765 Sounds good to me. Like I said, I'll worry about it if it ever happens. I have no idea if anyone has submitted an idea for an already done request fic submitted by someone else, so I'm probably just worrying over nothing.
Ayyy lmao, I've only got one minor criticism for this fic. I think part of it has to do with how the story's being told from Dash's point of view, but you've been full capsing a lot of words to emphasize them in sentences. Usually you'd want to use italics over all caps to point out that the word has extra flare and such. And even then a lot of the time it's something that doesn't need to have that extra oomf anyhow. It just gets kind'a obnoxious when there's a word that's supposed to draw immediate attention every other paragraph. text examples are all from chapter two
Which lead to only one logical area; his crotch. When she said that his flight suit left nothing to the imagination, she REALLY meant NOTHING. She could almost perfectly trace Soarin’s junk sitting between his thighs, one large bulge with two smaller ones beneath it making her mouth water as she imagined them WITHOUT the thin garment keeping them away from her prying eyes.
Here, for instance, the most you would've needed to do is italicize the 'really', while everything else could just flow normally.
'Phew... THAT would have been awkward.'
Then there's instances like these where italicizing isn't even necessary.
Again, it's possible that the fic being told from Rainbow's perspective makes it so the text is as brash and in your face as she is, but then there's odd quotes like this from Soarin
Soarin leaned over and lightly punched her on the shoulder, grinning at her just as she did to him. “Well, little Miss Element of Harmony, I’m sure YOU have plenty of stories to tell, too. I mean, I am the one who wanted to get to know YOU better, remember?”
This makes me envision Soarin screaming YOU to her whenever I saw it in caps, as if he really didn't think Rainbow would understand she was taking attention away from herself and he'd truly like to know more about her otherwise.
I dunno, seeing people emphasize words with all caps makes me think of facebook comments doing the same, maybe I'm bias because I can only envision people angrily screaming when all caps is present xD Anyhow, it's only mildly distracting, it doesn't ruin the fic or anything. Take care :3
Oh she's in for it now
6998946 Oh. Sorry.
This chapter. WOW. Good job :D.
Oh damn this was good
I love chapters that start with puns
Just a question how long do you think this is going to go on for? Like are we going to see the wedding or would that be a different story? Idk just curious
7004555 7004680 Yup, one more chapter to go on this little story here. "She Rides It", in case you were wondering what the title is going to be.
Like Corey19 said, people are free to add sequel/prequel ideas for my fics to the Big Box-o'-Requests. Though, I should figure out what I would do if someone with an idea pertaining to someone else's idea was chosen. Like if someone submitted an idea for a sequel to this, I assume you (Corey) would like to be a part of making it.
Who knows? Guess I'll worry about it if it ever happens.
7005765 Sounds good to me. Like I said, I'll worry about it if it ever happens. I have no idea if anyone has submitted an idea for an already done request fic submitted by someone else, so I'm probably just worrying over nothing.
Ayyy lmao, I've only got one minor criticism for this fic. I think part of it has to do with how the story's being told from Dash's point of view, but you've been full capsing a lot of words to emphasize them in sentences. Usually you'd want to use italics over all caps to point out that the word has extra flare and such. And even then a lot of the time it's something that doesn't need to have that extra oomf anyhow. It just gets kind'a obnoxious when there's a word that's supposed to draw immediate attention every other paragraph.
text examples are all from chapter two
Here, for instance, the most you would've needed to do is italicize the 'really', while everything else could just flow normally.
Then there's instances like these where italicizing isn't even necessary.
Again, it's possible that the fic being told from Rainbow's perspective makes it so the text is as brash and in your face as she is, but then there's odd quotes like this from Soarin
This makes me envision Soarin screaming YOU to her whenever I saw it in caps, as if he really didn't think Rainbow would understand she was taking attention away from herself and he'd truly like to know more about her otherwise.
I dunno, seeing people emphasize words with all caps makes me think of facebook comments doing the same, maybe I'm bias because I can only envision people angrily screaming when all caps is present xD Anyhow, it's only mildly distracting, it doesn't ruin the fic or anything. Take care :3
That was long for a fellatio.