• Published 17th Feb 2016
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I'm Not A Tribalist - TheGreatEater



Princess Celestia sees a news article that brings about a choice that will change her life forever.

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The Article *updated*

Princesses are Tribalist?

Recent information brings startling facts to life. Is Celestia raising the other Princesses to further repress the non-unicorn population?

It will be as of no surprise to any non unicorn the recent unfair laws and actions perpetrated by Princess Celestia this last year. From ‘toll booths and transport fees’ which charge earth ponies an exorbitantly higher rate than air cargo and even more so than teleportation array shipping or dragon express mail.

To the increased weather costs from her actions with the Weather Factory in Cloudsdale. When asked about her recently accepted laws she stated on multiple occasions, “I overlook only those laws that are truly detrimental to Equestria as a nation. For I care about all my little ponies, but I trust the lawmakers and parliament to pass reasonable laws for the betterment of our nation.”

When asked why the burden fell on pegasi and earth ponies more than unicorns, her reply was, “While some laws might seem to affect one tribe over another. I assure you that the laws are fair to all individuals.” As you may recall when Canterlot Times and the Manehatten Tribune both did stories on the increased costs that were affecting the nation as a whole. More on Celestia’s response on page A-2 about inflation being natural.

Even more damning are the problems was the Weather Factory. She claimed that “due to the Cloudsdale Charter of 362 CE, which our sources showed she had a hoof in drafting, the Weather Factory was a private business ran by the Cloudsdale government and the Equestrian Weather Bureau. The matter was out of her hooves, since it was a factory-related problem, as opposed to a natural one.

While we at Canterlot have enough EWB certified unicorns to create weather via magic. Thus stymying the costs of weather, other places in our nation don’t have it as easy, where weather based unicorns are less common, and the EWB, along with weather production companies crack down on illegal weather production.

Sources at the EWB claim said fines are to ensure the hard working ponies who are trained for their service can earn a living, rather than chaotic weather running about all willy nilly.

“What!” Twilight yelled drawing the attention of the parliament ponies on the ground below. Giving an apologetic smile she said in a harsh whisper, “What!? Of course you couldn’t do anything Celestia! The laws are almost draconian, and when you gave legal responsibility to Pegasi cities to make the weather like they petitioned, you made the EWB to ensure that the workers were taken care of, but let them be private businesses. Equestria’s first private businesses that weren’t family related. It was the biggest historical moment in the history of Equestrian Law!”

I was not grinding or gnashing my teeth. No a princess isn’t allowed to do those things. No, I was simply chewing on my thoughts before continuing to read this assault on my character. Ever since I’ve granted the right of my ponies to have Freedom of Speech, journalists have pushed what is acceptable, and for the most part, I part let them express themselves.

But that they printed such horrendous garbage against me … it had been centuries since I was dragged through the dirt; being accused that I didn’t care for all my little ponies. Even if some didn’t have horns, it doesn’t make them any less special. Although marrying and knocking up a few Earth Ponies, and a pegasi or two wasn’t necessary to prove my point at the moment. I could always make a marem if I needed to … but that always opened up a new can of worms every time. The last thing I wanted to do was give the wrong impression to Twilight and Luna.

I felt a migraine coming. I believe this is what Pinkie Pie would call, a “doozy”.. Remember Celestia eyebrows relaxed, lips slightly up … no that’s almost a grimace, you don’t want to look like you’re snarling. Remember … you have to be the perfect princess, the sea of tranquility. Negative emotions scare your little ponies to thinking you’re going to go the route of Nightmare Moon … and reminds you that you can no longer afford to show unnecessary things.

It was hard, you know? Being all smiles, and serenity. The rock this nation was built on. But alas, there was more, but my fellow princesses, just like the nation had expectations of me. I had to be strong for them. I wrapped Twilight and Cadance who were looking quite angry in my wings and gave them both assuring nuzzles. I felt them calm under my wings as I rested on my barrel, I don’t know if they had a nostalgic rush like I was, but the calming effect was noticeable.

“Why don’t you sit with us, Luna? It won’t do good for you to stand around all day.” I said all smiles.

“I don’t know how you can look so calm, Tia,” Luna replied.

Practice,”They’re just words Luna. They can only hurt you as much as you allow them to.” What was that look Luna? Pain? Regret? “What’s on your mind Luna?”

“Nothing sister. As you said. They’re just words,” Luna replied. I knew she was lying of course, she had always been a terrible liar. I thinks that’s why Honesty loved her as much as he did. Although I’m quite sad to see that Laughter has left her since her return … if only I knew how to fix it.

Nonetheless, I can’t be sad. Not in public, and not to my sister. She’s been so down these past few years. Hesitant, lost, broken … no I would not cry. I was a rock … always a rock at least into Twilight came into my life.

Sometimes I really wish my brain would shut up. Especially at times like these. But as I told Luna. Words can’t hurt you if you don’t let them. More importantly I needed to see why my ponies would be hurting to the point they wrote such a thing. Even in conjecture, and opinions. There was some truth, or at least the seed of reasoning that caused such thoughts in the first place.

Of course we Canterlotians had to look into things. After all even as hard as it has been for others, and those hardships increasing costs across the nation. A journalist must follow their leads no matter where they go. Which is why finding out our beloved ruler is a tribalist is truly shocking.

As everypony knows Canterlot was built as a unicorn city with few pegasi before the Canterhorn Pass was built a few decades after the cities construction. Not only due to the presence from the nobility who traced their lines from the unicorn royal families and aristocracy, but also from the unicorns who were flewn up to assist in the construction of the city itself.

Not long after the cities construction the most prestigious and oldest school in the world, Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns was build and the unicorn population only grew. Not only does Canterlot, our nation's capital, have the largest concentration of unicorns in Equestria of any Equestrian nation. But the school itself is the only school to be overseen, funded, and bearing Celestia’s name itself.

It also is the only school that has been hosted by her guest lectures, and all of her protege’s have been from her school. Hoof picked and raised by her to become the greatest minds of our time. History has shown that these ponies were either Flares, ponies with magical reserves far beyond normal as well as their ability to control safely. As well as unicorns of extraordinary talent, who paved the way as prodigies in their field. The only one who’s ever failed her was somepony called Sunbutt Glitter, a unicorn filly who a decade ago simply disappeared from the face of the world, and whom Celestia has repeatedly told both her family and the nation at large that she didn’t have an idea where Sunbutt had disappeared too.

Something quite unbelieveable when considering Celestia’s contribution to scrying and tracking spells. Among her many other contributions to magic.

There has been historical accounts that every era of sexual revolution followed a time where public outcry against the treatment of the other tribes happened and Celestia took a marem of earth ponies and pegasi whom she paraded around, from historical accounts in quite a flashy manner. But it's this journalist's opinion as well as noted historians this was more of a ploy to distract from the issue, mostly since the few noted unicorn relationships she had before and after were quite tame and normal for herds of the time.

Although it should also be noted that her marems during sexual revolutions were treated quite well. So even as a tribalist, she at least does respect the bodies of those she takes as lovers. Which is to be expected for gentle giant we all know and love. Which makes this piece even harder to write.

Nonetheless, we also tried speaking to the other two princesses of Equestria. Best Princesses, Princess Luna stated that “[she] isn’t ready for governance and stands by any decision her sister makes in the running of Equestria. After all Equestria hasn’t devolved into anarchy and ruin over these last thousand years so she must be doing something right.”

As for our newest princess. Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship replied, “I haven’t had time to learn politics yet. I’m new to this ‘princessing’ thing, and I know that Celestia has the best interest at heart for Equestria.”

This brings to light an important question. We have three rulers, yet two of them follow Celestia’s lead, and have no hoof in our running. Are we to believe that Celestia’s tribalist views are shared by all the princesses? And if so, what does that say to those without a horn?

More on Page 2-A, B, and F]

I placed the newspaper down. Twilight and Cadance blushing furiously. If for finding out what I would rather they not, or if out of anger at what was written and the insinuations against them I didn’t know. But I had to leave … personally between the article, the memories they dragged up, and the gall to call my dearest little Sunset, Sunbutt Glitter, was more than I could stand. At least more than I could stand and retain my many masks.

“Know this … I am not mad at any of you, and we will all talk later. But I need to be alone for a bit. If you could Twilight … Luna. Get the Element Bearers, I think a nice game night like I was going to ask Twilight and Cadance before you entered is something we all could use. As well as some outside perspective.”

I didn’t even hear a reply as I left. I don’t think I could hear anything past the pounding pulse in my ears like waves breaking across the shore, and like waves eroded the shore they struck so to did that persistent pulse threaten to erode myself control. A princess can’t lose control. A princess can’t show weakness. A princess must be strong for her nation and for those relying on her. I Celestia, am a princess.

Author's Note:

We get to see Celestia's past in the upcoming chapters. With how things got to this particular point.

As for time setting. It's after Tanks For The Memories, but before the Cutie Mark Crusader's got their Cutie Mark [might change that bit later. But I like crusader's being crusaders tbh.]

As for updates: Mondays and Fridays, until we get close to burning out the 12 chapter buffer I got built up.

Update Edit done by Jowijo

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