Spike's partial death

by Dark Nightshade

Discovery: Part 5

"Spike! You can stop ripping up that dummy!" Twilight called from a viewing room. Spike turned around and smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry. After the first 5, my adrenaline stared to go," he said. Twilight tilted her head.

"You can really still get adrenaline?" she asked. Spike nodded. Twilight looked down at her note pad and scribbled something down.

"Are you taking notes?" Spike asked. Twilight nodded.

"You're the only creature in written history to ever respawn!" she said. "I need to take notes on this!" Spike frowned as he felt the ground slightly shake.

"Did you feel that?" he asked. Twilight looked up at him and frowned.

"Feel what?" she asked. Spike shrugged.

"It felt a bit like a tremor," he said. "When was the last time we had an earthquake?" Twilight frowned.

"I'm not sure," she said. The ground shook again, harder this time.

"Yeah, I think we're having an earthquake!" Spike exclaimed. "We need to help people get the safety!" Twilight shook her head.

"No," Twilight said. "You need to stay here. I need to help people."

"Really?" Spike said. "Why?"

"Because you're a skeleton!" Twilight said. "Ponies would freak out! Besides, everyone thinks you're dead."

"I still want to help," Spike said.

"You can help by staying here," Twilight said. "So stay here!" Twilight disappeared in a flash of light.

"Aw come on!" Spike yelled. "Really?" Suddenly, her heard soft laughter behind him. He turned around and saw someone hidden in the shadows of the room.

"Yes, really," whoever it was said. "You are finally alone."

"Who are you?" Spike asked, feeling a little freaked out.

"I am someone you should know," the guy said. "I am Death."

"You actually exist?" Spike asked, a little shocked.

"Of course I exist!" Death said. "How else do you think I was able to make those tremors!"

"That was you?" Spike asked.

"Yes. Now, your soul should have risen to heaven when you died, but it stayed in your body. Why?" Death asked.

"I don't know!" Spike said. "Wait, I was going to go to heaven?"

"Yes, but that's not important right now," Death said. "Your friend is an alicorn, correct?" Spike nodded.

"But she wasn't born as one," he said.

"I know. But, she did manage to hatch you," Death said. "And the she made you age into an adult for a few seconds. I think that is why your soul didn't leave your body when you died."

"Really?" Spike asked. "So, are you going to take my soul?"

"No, of course not," Death said. "This has all happened before, you know. And as much as I don't like it, I must leave you as you are. But, head my warning! You are not the first! And beware! Bad things will be happening soon!" And in a sudden flags of light, Death disappeared, even though he had never step out of the shadows.

"Wow, I should probably tell Twilight about this," Spike muttered to himself.

Author's Note:

I know that I haven't updated this in a long time, and I'm sorry. But here it is! The newest chapter! I hope you all like it and will forgive me! I am having a bit of writers block for this story, and a few more stories as well.

Comments

[PonyDragon]

This story itself is like Spike in the Story:
Every time you believe it is dead it respawns.

But I have a question:

"This has all happened before, you know. [...] You are not the first!"

I don't get that one. Is he or isn't he?
Edit: The author added the now underlines word. Now it makes much more sense.

[Dark Nightshade]

7875870 I know, I've been meaning to update this more often, but unfortunately, stuff happens. And as for your question, yes, he isn't the first one. I hadn't relised that was there, but I edited it.

[Dark Nightshade]

7875870But did you like the chapter?

[PonyDragon]

7901320
Well, it is rather short chapter (588 words according to Fimfiction), so it's difficult to judge.

And you had about always used the same structure for each sentence:

"xxx," yyy said. "zzz [sometimes]"

(I don't judge you; I probably won't do much better...)

It is not too bad, but still some way from being perfect, especially in regard of writing-style.
I don't know if it would be of any help, but you may have a look at the Fimfiction Writing Guide.

Regardless of that the storyplot itself seems to be interesting. A good plot isn't everything, but without a good plot everything else is nothing.

Like I said before it is rather short (the chapter and the story), so there isn't very much plot to see yet.
For now it seems at least to be 'interesting' - I'm wondering what will or will not happen to poor Spike. I mean, he literally just met Death and survived(?) it!

[Dark Nightshade]

7901432 Thanks!

[scorched apple]

Just saying when is the next chapter going to be published

[Dark Nightshade]

8019827 I'm not sure, but I am working on it.