Two mercs and their dog end up in equestria after one of them finds a strange scroll. Follow them on their quest as they face up against an enemy they've never faced before. As well as being faced with love, new friends, and family.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Not to nick pick or anything but Scootaloo is spelled with a 'c,' not a k
Nice chapter i hope there is more to come
Good story. But one things for sure. YOU. NEED. AN. EDITOR.
7991051 thanks for the reminder things have been a little hectic over here
7995428 I know but no one is offering and it's hard to find one and like I said this is my first story so I have no idea what I'm doing.
8001200 I will try to edit for you however I am very busy so It my take a while also my main issue with this chapter is that military officials are NEVER this chatty at ALL.
8040376 yeah but these guys are mercs they pretty much play by their own rules.
8048598 That might be the case but they just told a shit-ton of backstory to what amount to strangers.
8053975 yeah they might be strangers to Johnny but Tyler knows them pretty well from the show plus it was only Tyler who had his backstory told not his brother and as for the ghouls in the city that was just one small piece of their past as for Johnny I plan to reveal his past when the princesses access his memories through a spell and see how he turned into the person they've come to know.
8057386 Oh okay dude but it would be a good idea to have some conflict occur from that spell being used on him like him being pissed off about the massive invasion of privacy that memory reading spells are and him reacting like ANYBODY would to such a transgression. I always have liked the writers who make conflict occur in that manner like their main character doesn't know they did that but they find out and get pissed or the main character catches and shoves them out of his mind and then gets angry.
8058584 that sounds like a good idea but I'm going off of what I know from other stories I've read. For example before he was a merc Johnny was part of an elite spec ops group that consisted of a single soldier from six different militaries such as the Marines, SAS, Spetsnaz, SDF, German special forces (can't spell the name it's in German), and Israeli special forces (the Sayeret Matkal). They've gone on so many missions that they considered each other family and Johnny was engaged to his second in command who is named Samantha Carter she was in the SAS and they were supposed to get married in three weeks after the forth of July but they ended up getting called to an American embassy because Isis planted five I.E.D's in the building and they were the closest responders. During the mission Samantha accidentally stepped on a Russian anti-tank mine that was buried in front of the bomb and after Johnny tried for twenty minutes to disarm the bomb she told him to get the other bomb out of range, he reluctantly agreed and did as he was told but as he was leaving to get the rest of the team she saw no choice but to step off the mine killing herself in the process. Fast forward three months after the event Johnny has become what master chief did after losing cortana and his team was beginning to worry about him but before they could talk to him they got a report that they have just found the very terrorist responsible for the bomb and the death of his fiancé and they were sent to wipe them out. Long story short they arrived got ambushed because someone sold them out and all but one member got killed. Johnny was killed but he was brought back to life by a twisted doctor who planned to used him to bring down the US and its allies but he failed and Johnny escaped and went on a killing spree of everyone in the facility he was being kept in. Now fast forward again ten years and you know the rest.
8065832 that sounds epic dude but all that would DEFINITELY leave some trust issues for him to bring a little conflict between the ponies and him self I can't wait for the next update.
8066943 the trust issues that he has is that some of the girls fall in love with him but he can't fall in love with them out of fear that he might lose them like he lost his fiancé but overtime he ends up falling in love with them anyway so he becomes determined to to protect them with his life.
8068354 The fiancé died yes however where are the trust issues from a teammate betraying him and his team.
8068894 the betrayal comes from someone he didn't expect to do that sort of thing.
8070138 Okay then. Still an EPIC story dude.
8070138 Epic chapter also quick question will they learn about the world wars or any other war and second does Tyler and John have any Armored vehicles?
8074093 eventually because Tyler is a huge call of duty fan and Johnny is a history buff. For your last question yes they have armored vehicles, I think the H1 qualifies.
8076107 Yes! Aslo i am a huge world wars nerd
Excellent chapter.
8140681 problem?
8140817 she really loves that mustang. When are you going to release the new chapter? (Remember me?)
8141425 soon I hope read my blog and you will see what I've been dealing with plus I've hit a bit of a snag. My Wi-Fi keeps acting up but I've been able to get some done but still not enough to post the chapter.
Some of the paragraphs are unnecessary long.
10228950
I'm trying to not do that as much.
10228950
These are the earlier chapters so it gets better the more you read.
An author is supposed to show, not tell, the reader what is going on in a story. Every sentence so far has been a run on and it makes me want to tear my hair out. Not to mention the spelling is pretty bad.
I know that might sound harsh, but it's stuff you should work on if you want this story to go anywhere.