Not a bad start. My only problem is the number of times you say the characters names. Applejack did this and Applejack did that. It drags me out of the story a bit. Otherwise I enjoyed it.
First impression Well...it's sporadic as Pinkie Pie. The focus shifts from their actions to their thoughts almost literally every paragraph. I found it amusing that AJ offers iced tea, then boils water for hot tea, and neither one notices. For once, a character in a ship fic immediately recognizes their emotional bond without freaking out, and it's Twilight. I am amused and pleased with this development. I'm giving this story a shot. For better or worse, I'm diving into this.
she asked as she poured the tea into a pitcher, put some ice in it, and put it, two cups and a sugar bowl on a tray,
Oh gods, no. You mix the sugar in while it's hot and pour it in a pitcher filled with ice. The sugar doesn't mix in right cold and putting ice in a pitcher full of hot tea will overflow the pitcher long before it cools the tea. Next time don't be afraid to ask a southerner for help. We won't mock you for that long. In front of you.
7628668 Somebody obviously cared. Besides, southerner or not, it can be very helpful to know how best to prepare stuff. It saves you a ton of time and energy.
Not a bad start. My only problem is the number of times you say the characters names. Applejack did this and Applejack did that. It drags me out of the story a bit. Otherwise I enjoyed it.
First impression
Well...it's sporadic as Pinkie Pie. The focus shifts from their actions to their thoughts almost literally every paragraph.
I found it amusing that AJ offers iced tea, then boils water for hot tea, and neither one notices.
For once, a character in a ship fic immediately recognizes their emotional bond without freaking out, and it's Twilight. I am amused and pleased with this development.
I'm giving this story a shot. For better or worse, I'm diving into this.
Oh gods, no. You mix the sugar in while it's hot and pour it in a pitcher filled with ice. The sugar doesn't mix in right cold and putting ice in a pitcher full of hot tea will overflow the pitcher long before it cools the tea. Next time don't be afraid to ask a southerner for help. We won't mock you for that long. In front of you.
7533993 ... no one really cares
7628668 Somebody obviously cared. Besides, southerner or not, it can be very helpful to know how best to prepare stuff. It saves you a ton of time and energy.
Umm what is a cannon in reference to an Equine.
8422204 https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/85/Points_of_a_horse.jpg