The Bon Identity

by DashEight

Blunderball

Sugarcube Corner
Ponyville, Equestria
1001, Second Era of the Two Sisters
Hunt for Lyra Heartstrings, T+00h15m

"Sorry dearie, haven't seen her at all today," Mrs. Cake said with an apologetic smile. "The last time Lyra was in here was, oh, three days ago? Buying pastries for her friends at the Town Square Theatre."

"I know I heard her mention your shop," Bon-Bon's muzzle crinkled, confusion written across her face as she ran a hoof through her two-tone curls. She thought back to Lyra's abrupt departure from the café, sifting though the yammering flood of Lyra-speak for any coherent phrases that might provide a clue to her overstimulated friend's destination. "Is Pinkie Pie working today? I saw her over at Sunflower earlier, but she left a few hours ago. I think Lyra's looking for her."

"No, she has the weekend off. It's just me today, Carrot took the foals to spend the day down by the lake," the older mare replied, sympathy written all over her face. If anypony in town could appreciate the exhausting hard work it took to care for a hyperactive, excitable child, it was Cup Cake. She'd been doing it for years. She also had her own kids, but they weren't nearly as much as a handful as Pinkie.

Bon-Bon cast a furtive glance around Sugarcube Corner. The place wasn't overly crowded, but there were still quite a few ponies milling around the storefront, either waiting on orders or munching on pastries around the various display tables. She raised a hoof to her mouth and lowered her voice to a whisper.

"She isn't in the, you know, lower level, is she?"

Mrs. Cake's eyebrows raised at that. She let out a brief chuckle before leaning in and matching Bon-Bon's whisper, "nopony's gone down into the party bunker since I opened shop."

"Are you sure?"

Mrs. Cake laughed. Pinkie Pie was many things, but subtle was not one of them. "That slide leads straight down through the kitchen, anypony using it will make an awful racket. Carrot tried to explain to Pinkie that a trapdoor on the third floor wasn't exactly practical, but you know her. Once that filly gets an idea into her head she won't budge no matter what, bless her heart. Say, how'd you know about her little party chamber?"

Oops! Bon-Bon gave Mrs. Cake a sheepish smile and subconciously reached up and rubbed her neck with a forehoof. Some secret agent you are. It seemed like she was letting her cover slip more and more these days. Back when she first moved to Ponyville, she would never dream of saying anything that would hint at her double life. Granted, when she first moved to Ponyville she didn't say much to anypony, period. Okay, I can fix this. A nice, innocent explanation that doesn't actually explain why I'm familiar with secret underground bases.

"Oh you know, I just picked up on it, heh heh. Pinkie's always popping up out of nowhere all the time, I figured she was using the old Diamond Dog tunnels to surprise ponies. I mean, it's not like she can fly, right?"Perfect. Still got it! "...right?"

While Mrs. Cake seemed to buy her reason, Bon-Bon did not like how long she took to consider the supposed-to-be-rhetorical question. "Well, I suppose it depends on how much helium she's had before she tries. Always keeps us on our hooves, that one! Anyway, I'd check Princess Twilight's castle next. They usually hold court on Saturday afternoons."

"Ok, thank you so much! See you around!" Bon-Bon waved bye as she rushed out the door. She didn't like cutting off Mrs. Cake like that, even with her little faux pas. The Cakes had always been so good to her, encouraging her to open her own business when she realized she wasn't leaving Ponyville anytime soon. They were always friendly and supportive even though her confectionary was Sugarcube Corner's only real competition, though Ponyville's residents had enough of a collective sweet tooth to keep business booming at both stores. The anxiety rising in the pit of her stomach kept her from making small talk with Mrs. Cake though, she was starting to worry about Lyra.

Her friend was always a little... eccentric... but the last month of working on Octavia's theater production had left Lyra overstressed and strung out. Bon-Bon could understand why. Lyra was amazingly gifted at what she did but hadn't ever been responsible for anything more than herself. It must've been overwhelming to find herself suddenly in charge of music for a nationwide production. Ponyville did not lack for an artistic community for such a small town, but it hardly had enough musicians for a full-blown orchestra. With Octavia busy directing the effort as a whole, Lyra had been working small miracles with the few ponies in town skilled and available enough to master the play's score, filling in the gaps with Vinyl Scratch's Swiss-army-mixtable. It was a long trot from her easygoing routine as a freelance harpist, and the wear was starting to show.

Worrisome thoughts flashed through Bon-Bon's head as she trotted through town at a brisk pace, waving idly to friends and aquaintances but never stopping to chat. Lyra's silliness and impulsive nature was one of Bon-Bon's favorite things about her friend, but it hadn't been clashing well with her new job. Happy-go-lucky conversations had turned into jittery, sleep deprived ramblings, and her formerly social party-drinking had increased by a worrysome amount. Her pace quickened down Mane St. towards the giant glittering beacon of friendship and poor aesthetic taste on the edge of town. Bon-Bon then thought of a sleep-deprived, overcaffinated Lyra in the same room as Pinkie Pie. She could see the headlines now: PRINCESS OF FRIENDSHIP DEAF! LOCAL IDIOTS TO BLAME. She broke out into a dead gallop, sprinting down the path towards Twilight Sparkle's home. Hurrying up the steps, she took a quick breath, smoothed out her mane, and raised a hoof to the golden door.

After a series of rapid, increasingly desperate knocks, the doors creaked open, revealing nothing but a massive entrance chamber.

"Hey Bon-Bon, you lose something?" She glanced down, spotting the small purple dragon grinning and holding the door open.

"Hi Spike, thanks. I did, yes. You haven't happened to see a jittery unicorn around here? About my height, green, manic look in her eyes?"

"Maybe I have, maybe I haven't. Might need some help refreshing my memory." His grin widened. "Still got any of those crystal candy necklaces?"

Bon-Bon giggled, forgetting her worries for a second. "Not on me, come by the shop when we open tomorrow and I'll have a box for you!"

A regal, slightly irritated voice echoed off the cavernous faceted walls, "SPIKE! NO BLACKMAILING PONIES HERE TO SEE US!"

"I'M NOT!" He turned back to Bon-Bon, "we'll talk." He gestured for her to follow him in, swinging the door open wide. "Lyra's in the throne room with everypony else."

Relief flooded through Bon-Bon, the tension in her muscles fading away. If Spike was joking around with her, then Lyra must be fine. She trotted behind Spike thorugh the long, empty central corridor, taking in the interior Castle of Friendship for the first time. Despite the high ceilings, the place wasn't overly large for a castle. Sure, it dwarfed the old library and every other building in Ponyville by a wide margin, but compare it to the one in Canterlot or the Crystal Palace and it was nothing special. Bon-Bon just couldn't understand how these cavernous rooms and sweeping hallways in what was essentially a crystal tree trunk. Maybe up in the castle proper, but at ground level? Shouldn't there be a spiral staircase or something? And what was with all the crystal anyway? One little city-state appears out of nowhere and all of a sudden crystal is the go-to magical construction material. So many things about this place don't make sense, the magical talking pony thought to herself.

"Uh, Bon-Bon?" Bon-Bon blinked as a claw poked her barrel. They were standing in the doorway of the throne room. Sunlight streamed in though the floor-to-cieling stained glass windows, all displaying a tree design. Six crystal thrones sat around a circular (also crystal) table, a glowing map of Equestria projected into the space above it. Four mares sat in the various seats, staring at her.

"Hi Bonnie!" Lyra waved sheepishly from a throne marked with three apples. A mug of tea sat in front of her, and she seemed noticeably calmer than when she had ran out of the Café.

"H-Hi everypony. Sorry to interrupt, I've been looking for my friend here."

"Please, come in," Princess Twilight Sparkle, seated at her throne, smiled and motioned for Bon-Bon to join them. "I've seen you around town, but I don't think we've been properly introduced. You must be Bon-Bon?"

"I am. Thank you for looking after my friend, Your Highness." Bon-Bon sunk her forelegs to the floor in a proper bow.

"Please, that's not necessary, Lyra and I were just talking about our old school days. I believe you already know Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie?" She guestured at her two friends, both in their respective thrones.

"Yo." Rainbow Dash sat slouched across both armrests, her head propped up by a hoof and hindlegs dangling over the side. It was so lazy it didn't even look comfortable.

"Hi Bon-Bon!" Pinkie Pie bounced up and down in her seat, squirming like a foal in kindergarten. "So Lyra came in for a friendship problem because this super-awesome play her and Octavia and Vinyl and Rarity and I are all working on is keeping her up all night and she's not getting to spend time with her friends like she used to and she and Twilight both used to be friends in Canterlot but then they grew apart and Lyra's worried that could happen again and she hasn't seen anypony from Canterlot for a while even when Twilight and I went up there to throw Moondancer a reunion-slash-sorry-I-was-a-bad-friend party she wasn't there and she says she might be dumping all of her problems on you lately and--"

"PINKIE! I told you that in confidance!" Lyra shouted, an embarrased blush spreading across her mint-green cheeks.

"But I thought that we mmphlmumphmmmfm--" Pinkie's stream of conciousness was cut short by a claw clamping down on her muzzle. "I think Lyra and Twi have it from here, Pinkie," Spike said. She nodded in affirmitave, and the little dragon let her go and took his seat in a smaller throne next to his sister's.

"Thank you, Spike." Lyra nodded at her old friend, then looked back at Bon-Bon. "Soo I don't know if you caught all that, but the Element of Too Much Information there is more or less spot on. Between what's going on with us and everything at work, I feel like everypony's drifting away, you know? I've seen friends grow apart before. Everything's changing, and I don't like it." Her ears drooped as she gazed down at the table, picking at the conduit of Harmony magic with a hoof.

"Lyra, you are the closest friend I've ever had." Bon-Bon brought a hoof to her friend's muzzle, raising her head up to meet her gaze. "I know things have been weird lately, but I promise I will be there for you, no matter what." And thank you so much for leaving out the part that's causing all the weirdness. "I know how hard you're working, and I can't wait to see it finished. You're going to be amazing."

Twilight hesitated, not sure if she should interrupt the moment. "If it helps, I'm so, so sorry I forgot you when I met up with Minuette and the girls. I was so concerned about hurting Moondancer's feelings that I didn't think about yours! If there's anything I can do to make it up to you, don't hesitate to ask."

Tears pooled at the corners of Lyra's bloodshot eyes before she blinked them away. "Thank you," her voice cracked, "I really needed to hear that. Thank you all. Especially you, Rainbow Dash."

"No prob," Dash nonchalantly waved a hoof, earning an annoyed look from Twilight. Lyra reached out, squeezing Bon-Bon tightly before catching Twilight with a foreleg and dragging her into the hug.

"Awwwwwwwwww! This is it! HUGGING TIME!"

"Whoa, Pinkie, what the hay! Don't pull me into this!" *crack* "Owww, watch the wings!"

"Don't fight it, Dashie! This! Is! HAPPENING!"

They split apart, Dash ruffling her wings back into place. Lyra wiped at her eyes. "Thanks everypony. Twilight, I know you didn't mean anything by it, I just haven't been in the best place lately." She gave her old school friend a cautious grin, "maybe we could do the thing? you know..."

Twilight's eyes widened. "Lyra, I wasn't really into that, I mostly just went along with it since it meant so much to you and the girls..."

"Pleeeease? Once, for old time's sake?"

"Okay, okay..."

Bon-Bon frowned. Wait, what?

Both mares took a breath.
"Cee! Ess! Gee! Youu!
Fighting for the gold and blue!
Gooooooo Starswirls!
Two! Four! Six! Eight!
Who we gonna beat tonight?
Canterlooot Academy!"

They shook their forehooves in the air as the cheer ended, then Twilight muttered, "it doesn't even rhyme at the end there. I just don't get it."

"Boo, no school spirit at all. It always put a smile on my face!" While still bedraggled, Twilight had to admit Lyra's smile already seemed a little brighter.

"Lyra, everything put a smile on your face. You and Minuette were, like, the giggliest fillies in Canterlot!"

"Suprised you remembered that, Miss-No-Time-For-Your-Friends! I swear to Celestia, you and Moondancer had books magically bonded to your muzzles!"

"Hey, I remember some stuff!" Twilight briefly paused, thinking back to her school days. "I did read a lot..."

Bon-Bon stared until her brain finished its hard reset. "CSGU's mascot was Starswirl the Bearded?"

"Duh, who else would it be?" Lyra smiled. This, along with her little adventure the previous night, had left her feeling the happiest she'd felt in weeks. She sauntered over to the nearest stained-glass window, tracing the tree outline with a hoof as she chatted with Pinkie.

Bon-Bon watched her friend smile and giggle at something Pinkie said. Lyra seemed relaxed, her goofy grin came easier. She knew that Lyra was having some difficulty adjusting to her new schedule the last month, but she had no idea how scared her friend had truly been. Just a lot of little things that built up and could've been avoided. Oh well, in for a bit, in for a pound. "Your Highness, could I have a word? In private?"

Twilight's expression showed her confusion, but she turned to her friends and brother. "Girls? Spike? Do you think you could show Lyra around the castle? Maybe put on some more tea?"

"Sure thing, Twi!"

"Okie dokie!"

"Eh, alright."

As the four departed the room, Twilight turned back to Bon-Bon. "What's on your mind?"

"I think I should re-introduce myself properly." Bon-Bon snapped to attention, saluting the princess. "Special Agent Sweetie Drops, Office of Clandestine Support of Her Majesty's Royal Service. Currently on indefinite leave."

"Y-You're with the OCS??" Twilight sputtered, "I thought they were shut down! Princess Celestia said their headquarters was demolished right before Princess Luna returned!"

"It wasn't our finest hour. Between the raid on our HQ and our lack of any warning on the Nightmare Moon incident, the Princess thought we were compromised and put a freeze on all our operations. The breakout from Tartarus last year put the final nail in the Service's coffin, Hence, 'indefinite leave'."

"I don't understand," Twilight said, still struggling to take everything in. "If the office was disbanded, what are you doing in Ponyville?"

"Living life, running a small business," Bon-Bon shrugged. "Same as everypony else. I was here on Service business when I got the stand-down order; from what I understand, a lot of creatures and dangerous artifacts disappeared during the disaster at headquarters. One of them was a bugbear with a personal grudge against me. I think you two have met."

"Don't remind me," Twilight grimaced. "I still can't believe we missed Cranky's wedding ceremony."

"Anyway, I needed to stay hidden from that thing and I already had a solid cover here, so I stayed put. The OCS was shut down shortly after, and I've been here ever since. It's not a bad place to start over, once you get used to it. Monster-attack rate is eight times the national average, though."

"Okay, so that all makes sense," Twilight frowned, "but why tell me? Not that i mind, but we don't know each other all that well and your best friend is clearly hurting over some sort of distance between you two. Shouldn't you be telling this to her?"

Bon-Bon stood, hopping out of Applejack's throne and trotting over to examine the further reaches of the Cutie Map. "Lyra knows. I told her what I could, but my missions are still classified material. The Sedition Act of 157 defines the passing of any sensitive knowledge to a pony not in-the-know as an act of treason against the Crown. I want to share my life with her, but..."

Twilight nodded, understanding what the intelligence mare was getting at. "You don't want to put her at risk."

"I told her about my foalhood and how I joined the Service, but any more and we could both wind up in the dungeons. I've already let my job come between me and a good friend once, I don't want it to happen again. Which actually brings me back to the reason I'm telling you this, Your Highness. You said you wanted to set things right with Lyra after the thing in Canterlot? I have an idea..."

---

Bon-Bon's Confectionary
Ponyville, Equestria
1001, Second Era of the Two Sisters
Hunt For Lyra Heartstrings - Complete
Commendations: Equestrian Service Star [Rainbow Dash], Pink Heart [Pinkie Pie], Number One Assistant [Spike]

"Thanks again, Bonnie," Lyra said for what must have been the millionth time as she leaned over the Confectionary's glass display counter. A steady diet of tea since leaving the castle had done wonders for her mood, but she was still running on stimulants and a lack of sleep. "I didn't mean to cause you to open the store late."

"It's nothing, Ly." Bon-Bon waved a hoof from her seat at the register. "A true friend helps a friend in need, right? Feeling better?"

"A little. Not so jittery anymore. No more existential dread or the urge to fix strained relationships either, sooo that's good," Lyra sighed, visibly relaxing. She looked ready to melt off the countertop. "I should've known better. You've been very cool so far about this double-life thing, no way you'd let it change anything between us."

"Yes, you should've," Bon-Bon gave her a mock huff, then her muzzle crinkled with a grin. "But I forgive you. Besides, you and the Princess are on good terms now, that's two out of two! Not bad for a crazy mare."

"Hey!" Lyra blew a raspberry at Bon-Bon, who replied with a knowing smirk. She lit up her horn, levitating her teacup up to her lips and taking a long, satisfying pull. As she placed it gently back on the glass display top, her head began to feel heavy. Gravity was acting exceptionally pushy this paticular afternoon. Always such a drag, that one. Still, she was far too tired to resist the siren song of the most comfortable-looking countertop in Equestria. She let her hed fall gracefully to the table, showing no reaction as her horn hit the surface with a dull thud, the teacup rattling slightly. She pulled her forehooves under her head in a makeshift pillow and let her eyes flutter closed.

"Lyra?"

"I'm good. If I fall off the stool, just leave me on the floor."

"Not what I meant, Ly. I have customers."

"You have a push broom in your closet, right? Just sweep me behind the counter, nopony'll notice."

"What about rehersal later?"

"Octavia left a note for me in your mailbox. Practice is cancelled for tonight, somepony else booked the ampitheater in advance."

"She did?" Lyra detected a faint quaver in Bon-Bon's voice. "Wait, how did she know you'd be with me? And why are you going through my mail??"

"First, when am I not with you? I'm over here, like, all the time. And I didn't open any of your stuff, just the things addressed to me."

"That's not the point! You don't live here."

"I don't see how that's relevant." Despite her head being buried under a pile of forelegs and mane, Lyra could almost see Bon-Bon, muzzle hanging open, wordlessly trying to come up with a reply. She slowly lifted her head just in time for a glimpse of Bon-Bon's 'I give up' facehoof. "Sooo... do you want to talk about it?"

"The mail? I do, but I think a talk about personal boundaries can wait 'till another day."

"No, the other thing," Lyra paused as Bon-Bon raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Octavia."

"Oh! Thank you Ly, but it's a boring, depressing story. It'd put you to sleep even faster."

"Still, if you want to... a true friend, right?"

"We could. Ooor..." Bon-Bon pulled a out a scroll from beneath the counter and slid it over to Lyra, a devious grin spreading across her face. "We could talk about the cool parts of my life."

Lyra floated the scroll in front of her and unrolled it. Two lines of perfect, neat calligraphy, followed by a purple royal seal:

I hereby decree that the unicorn Lyra Heartsrings is authorized to access all information regarding any operations involving Special Agent Sweetie Drops of the Office of Clandestine Service, from January 1, 993, to present date.

Amicorum concordant,
HRH Twilight Sparkle
Princess of Friendship

The scroll drifted down to the countertop as Lyra's magic sputtered and winked out. She stared, unblinking, at the empty space the scroll used to occupy. Bon-Bon hoof-pumped internally in celebration. It wasn't often she got to be the one to leave Lyra speechless.

"So wait... now you can like... and its okay that I..."

Bon-Bon nodded happily. "You're in! If there still was a Service, you'd be Trainee Agent Heartstrings! But for now, you'll just have to settle for being a confidante," she leaned back in her chair, forehooves behind her head, imitating Lyra's usual odd posture. "So, before your nap, want to hear about the time I saved the Seaponies? It has submarines!!!"

Lyra couldn't nod yes fast enough. Her eyes were wide, full of stars. Best. Day. EVER!

Author's Note:

So that took longer than expected. Work, travelling, etc. Also, it turns out this writing thing is REALLY HARD. Who knew?

Anyway, a bit of background:

We finally have a name for Bon-Bon's agency, the Office of Clandestine Support of Her Majesty's Royal Service, the Office of Clandestine Service for short or OCS for shorter. Not too flashy, but most spy agencies don't have names like SHIELD or SPECTRE, just the [Blankity] [Blank] Agency of [Blank]. Plus, I liked the way it sounded, similar to the original OSS that predated the CIA. Grandstanding is better left for villans.

The OCS filled the role of 'stopping threats lurking in the dark' in the absence of Princess Luna. This mostly consisted of hunting monsters, fighting the B-squad supervillans Celestia couldn't bother to vaporize, and some standard wetwork against rival nations or organizations dumb enough to oppose a country run by a demigoddess. Times changed, the political landscape shifted under them, and now with Princess Luna back and the Elements protecting the nation/spreading friendship via megawatt-class laser, they're suddenly not needed anymore.

Lyra is goofy, but not THAT goofy. She's just burned out guys, c'mon. One Pinkie Pie is enough.

The 'Commendations' are supposed to be the awards players would get after a split screen of GoldenEye 007. Rainbow Dash gets one for valor despite not doing jack, Pinkie's is a heart-shaped Valentine's Day cookie, and Spike's has a picture of himself giving a thumbs-up a la Discord in "Three's a Crowd".

Any advice, let me know. I'm okay at catching spelling and grammatical errors, but I have no idea how to string a story together plot-wise and I'm a metaphorical one-trick pony when it comes to descriptive language.

Comments

[Oliver]

Somehow, I imagined them to be CIA anyway. That is, Celestia's Intervention Agency.

I'm planning to use this at least for their unofficial nickname, myself.

[DashEight]

6922866

Hahahaha I love it, but I had something different in mind for the initials CIA. What species is naturally talented at espionage and begins with the letter "C"? It ain't Crystal ponies, I'll tell you what.

[Oliver]

6922898

...Centaurs?

Clever idea, though heavily predicated on what model of changeling society do you subscribe to.

[DashEight]

6923077

Always liked Chrysalis being a pompous Disney villan and her subordinates klutzing everything up. Keeps them in balance when their natural abilities should make them terrifying. Andy Price's comics, Changeling: the Movie, Short Changeling Heroes, etc. I am a big fan of silly humor.

Also loved A Change in Fashion but srsly who doesn't?

[Queensarrow]

6923242
Heh, my first thought was crows, after a bit of thought I came up with cats. Changelings make more sense though.
Looking forward to more of Bon Bon's stories.

[reader238]

We could. Ooor..." Bon-Bon pulled a out a scroll from beneath the counter and slid it over to Lyra, a devious grin spreading across her face. "We could talk about the cool parts of my life."

this seemed like a bit of a cop out to me hmm. New head cannon octavia was the one that burned sweetie drops, accidentally of course

[Sollace]

PRINCESS OF FRIENDSHIP DEAF! LOCAL IDIOTS TO BLAME

That very same day, a second article was published by the same newspaper: "LOCAL IDIOTS BLAMED FOR TYPO. PANIC ENSUES."