The Bon Identity

by DashEight

The Spy Who Befriended Me

Canter Mount Research and Storage Facility
Canterlot Caverns, Equestria
Two Floors Down From Starswirl's Lab
If You See the Gates of Tartarus, You've Gone Too Far
989 C.E.

"Marco!"

*ksssht* A popping static squeal hissed in Sweetie's ear. "Polo!" The clip-clop of her hooves echoed as she trotted down the corridor. She squinted against the bright flourescent lighting as she looked around. Octavia couldn't be far, she didn't have too much of a head start. The hallway was mostly empty, white paint and bright lights continuing some ways down with sets of large, locked steel doors at regular intervals. The doors looked thick, like they were built to withstand an earthquake. They were solid metal plates, protruding several inches away from the walls with complex etchings engraved into them and a numbered keypad set into each one. The hinges were bigger around than her foreleg. A sunken porthole window sat in the center of each door, reminding Sweetie of sailing ships. She sauntered over to the nearest one, glancing at the sign hanging on the wall next to it.

Item A-205
Umbrum Crystal
Threat Level - Pink
Telepathic - Do not approach without magic-cancelling earmuffs

She frowned, puzzled. Half the signs in this place were written in some sort of secret language that only the serious-looking government ponies could understand. She reared up, placing a forehoof on either side of the circular window and pressed her muzzle against the glass.

The padded white room inside was empty, save for a jagged dark crystal the size of a yak. Flourescent bulbs reflected of the sharp angular center spike and nubs surrounding the base. A faint glow flickered from the smoky translucent obelisk, as if somepony had lit a candle inside. Sweetie felt a shiver run down her spine and haunches. It almost felt like the thing was glaring at her. Not one to be intimidated easily, Sweetie glared right back, squinting through the glass at the offending lattice. If it was so tough, then why was it locked up in a vault? She stuck her tounge out and blew a raspberry at it. The crystal, for its part, did not move and continued to glow ominously.

Sweetie quickly pushed herself off the wall and fell back to all fours as she heard hoofsteps approaching. The ponies working here were nice enough, but even if they weren't grumpy jerks they still didn't seem to like a lone filly wandering around their hideout-monster-jail-mad-science-lab... place. They had politely shooed her and Octavia away from several rooms already, and she wasn't entirely sure whether or not this place was on the No-Sweetie List. Besides, they talked to her like she was a foal. She was almost full grown! She got her Cutie Mark two years ago for Celestia's sake! It wasn't like she didn't know how to read or anything, she just figured all those big red signs were for somepony else. As the echoing steps neared the corner, she put on her winning smile and tried her best to look nonchalant.

Double Cross rounded the corner, holding a hoof to his earpiece as he continued a conversation with somepony on the other end. "I don't give a roadapple what Rendez Vous says, we ain't sending a strike unit into downtown Reins! He should be able to handle a few gargoyles by his lonesome, they don't even move when the sun's out... doesn't he think that anypony'd notice a battalion of stormtroopers marching inta the Prench capital city? ...Yes... I understand... Nopony's getting left out in the cold here. There's a couple'a Shadowbolts over in Trottingham, shouldn't be more'n a few hours away. Eyes on the rooftops is what he needs now anyway. Tell him--" he paused as he finally noticed the filly in front of him. His eyes traveled from her Cheshire grin, to the radio headset in her ear, over to the vault window where a fogged muzzle impression was still visible. His eyes narrowed. "I'll call you back inna minute," he spoke into his lapel-mic. "Now what exactly is going on here, miss Drops?"

"Umm, nothing?"

That expression of his somehow became even squintier. "I got three foals at home. Yer not fooling anypony."

"I'm looking for the filly's room?"

That look remained. Before he could reply, Sweetie's radio crackled. *kssssht* "I said Polo! Are we still playing?"

So much for that. Sweetie dropped the guilty grin and put on her most cavity-inducing pout. "Fineee. Octavia and I are playing Ponyhunt. But we haven't gone into any of these big locked doors, or the rooms that say RESTRICTED AREA, or anywhere else we aren't allowed. Promise. Cross my heart and hope to fly."

Double Cross rolled his eyes. "Okay, just keep it that way. Where're yer parents?"

"They're with Octavia's dad. He said they'd be a while, so we should go have some fun."

"Of course he did. Figures Doc Treble's idea of a playdate is lettin you two chase each other from one end of the base to th'other." His speech was muddled, with a hint of an Appleoosan accent. He sounded more like a cowpony than a secret agent. That, coupled with with his dull tan coat, dark close-cropped mane, and railroad-crossing Cutie Mark, hardly evoked images of Con Mane.

Sweetie shrugged, grinning sheepishly. "Sooo... have you seen Octavia around?"

Double Cross's expression snapped right back to 'incredulous'. A lone eyebrow raised. "Isn't that cheating?"

"Nope! She knows where everything is here and I don't, so it all evens out. Besides, the quicker I catch her, the quicker we finish running all around the super-secret monster jail!"

Double Cross worked his jaw. The nerve of this one. Still, she raised a good point. "Haven't seen her. Definitely not over in D Corridor. Now missy, if you'll excuse me, I gotta make a call."

"Thanks! Kseeyabye!"

He watched the filly scamper off, shaking his head as she went. He continued to walk, pressing a hoof back to his earpiece. "Hey, its me. Call the girls over in Trottingham, tell them street clothes only. Nopony wants an international incident over a couple'a garden gnomes... Yeah, I know a war with the Prench would be completely one-sided, that's not the point..."

---

Sweetie trotted quickly down the hallway, keeping her eyes peeled for anything amiss. Corridor D wasn't much different from the one she just came from, bright white lights, blank walls, big steel bank-vault doors with keypads and official looking signs. A guard stood at the hallway, crossbow slung across his haunches as he buried his muzzle in the latest Canterlot gossip mag. His intense focus completely tuned out the world around him in favor of the Blueblood colt's latest antics. No Octavia, Sweetie thought as she scanned her surroundings. Maybe Double Cross was wrong after all? She pondered her next move for a moment before raising the radio set to her mouth. "Marco!"

"Polo!" *ksssht* "Polo!"

She spun around. The echo had come from off to her side. Octavia must've hidden in one of the vaults! She raced up to the nearest door, rearing up to peek into the window. All she saw inside was a clollection of black and red jewelry in a glass display case. She hopped back down, running to the next one as she glanced at the sign.

Item D-001
Sculpture of a Draconequus
Threat Level - N/A

A muffled laugh drifted through the glass porthole. This is it, she thought, eyeing the keypad. She had seen a guard open one of these earlier, but what were the chances that all the doors had the same code? Worth a shot. What do I have to lose by giving it a try? She hoofed the one button on the keypad three times. The gem embedded into the lock lit up with an emerald glow and whistled a two-tone chime. Startled, Sweetie leaned back and raised a hoof as the lock disengaged with a series of rapid clicks. The door slowly hissed open, the cool air from inside turning to billowing mist as it mixed with the warmer atmosphere of the corridor. Sweetie peered into the swirling fog at a towering figure, obscured by the bright lights behind it. She stepped into the room and rubbed a hoof across her eyes at the harsh glare.

A statue of a singing dragon loomed over her. She took the thing in as she trotted closer. It was tall and skinny, maybe four or five times the height of a pony. One claw stretched towards the low ceiling in a frozen wave. Its torso resembled that of a serpent's, while the head possessed more equine features. Certainly no serpents would be caught belting out a joyful laugh or musical number, as the thing's facial expression suggested. Aside from the sculptor's rather odd interpretation of what a dragon should look like, nothing about it looked out of the ordinary. Still, something about it unnerved Sweetie Drops. It's just a dumb sculpture. She couldn't quite place a hoof on what it was about the statue that set her nerves on fire. It's not symmetrical, she thought, noticing limbs, wings, and horns of different shapes and sizes. Is that what dragons really look like? It seems so... wrong.

The fur on Sweetie's back stood on end as the thing let out another echoing girlish giggle. She started backing away as her eyes were drawn down the concrete figure's tail to the pedestal it stood upon. A second tail, a small tuft of dark gray, poked out from behind the sculpture. She stopped, a grin slowly spreading across her muzzle.

"Sweeeeetie... I am the ghooost of the Dragon King! I will have my reveeenge!"

"I can see your tail, Octie! You won't make it past the door, ready to give up?"

"Never! You try to tag me and my dragon will turn you into ponyback ribs!"

"First, eeeeewww. Second, where are you gonna go? Only way out is through the door!"

"Whatever, you're still wayy too slow!"

"Who won the last three rounds?"

"Come get me then!"

Sweetie cautiously advanced towards the giggling filly behind the statue. As she slowly stepped around the left side of the statue, she saw a dusky gray blur pop out from the right. Acting on instinct, she jumped towards Octavia as the filly juked and took off galloping around the other side. Sweetie scrambled to match her pump-fake, moving to stay between the younger mare and the door. She managed to stay ahead of Octavia but felt her stomach lurch as a hoof caught the tip of the statue's tail. She crashed into Octavia, both fillies going down in an impromptu flying tackle. They rolled into the corner of the room, neither making an immediate move to get up.

"Ooof... Your hoof is digging into my flank."

"That worked a lot better in my head," Sweetie winced as Octavia tried to climb out from under her.

"Can you let me up now?"

"Can you admit that I won?"

"Okay, okay, just let me up!"

Sweetie picked herself up off Octavia and held out a hoof. The younger filly wrapped her foreleg around it and rose quickly to her feet. "Ponyhunt's getting kinda boring. What do you want to do now? We could check out the old crystal mines!"

"Um, I kind of want to go outside, if we can? I haven't seen the sun in almost a week."

Octavia beamed. "Sure, follow me! There's a lift to the top of the mountain, you'll love the view!" She took off galloping, Sweetie scrambled to keep up with the younger filly.

"Hey, wait up!" Two small blurs rocketed out of the room, the second one pausing for a moment to close the heavy steel door behind her. The hallway's guard felt a sudden breeze as the two blew by him, but by the time he looked up they were gone. He let out a snort of disinterest and returned to his magazine.

Inside the vault, the strange statue remained still. To the naked eye, it looked exactly the same as before its home was disturbed. Somepony would have to examine its surface with a magnifying glass to notice any difference. If any sharp-eyed ponies bothered to do so, they might have noticed a few hairline cracks.

---

"This. Is. Amazing!" Sweetie's breath caught in her chest. "You can see all of Equestria from here!"

Octavia giggled, looking very pleased with herself. "Told ya!"

The two fillies sat at the mouth of a small cave near the peak of Canter Mount. The rocky footing before them gave way to a sheer cliff face, dropping off into the vast expanse in front of them. The sun peeked lazily over the western horizon, a massive burning ball clinging onto the sky for just a few more minutes. The horizon itself glowed a firey crimson, casting long shadows over the Whitetail Woods far below. Off in the distance, the forest gave way to a vast expanse of orange desert, its craggy painted rock formations beacons in the sunset. Sweetie glanced to the north at her hometown, where the sky cooled to a soothing pink, bathing the Crystal Range in gentle light. She spotted Cloudsdale, the mobile pegasus city a glittering sherbet hue. Tiny specks flitted between clouds and rainbows, residents closing up shop for the night. She craned her neck further, looking to the northeast. Pink slowly changed to bright blue as the first nighttime stars began to twinkle, awakening from their daily naps.

All Equestria, laid out before her. All the anxiety she had been trying to ignore all week dissipated. Every quiet, nagging fear of bugbears, of nameless horrors waiting in the dark washed away, all in one moment as she took in the beautiful vision before her.

Like any good moment, this one had a pony just waiting to interrupt it.

"The Princess sure is taking her time with this one, isn't she?"

Sweetie snapped out of her reprieve, looking over to her new friend. Octavia was holding a pair of binoculars to her eyes, staring down the cliff face at Canterlot. The city was awash with golden lights, streetlamps flickering on as the sun slowly dropped below the horizon. A few trains snaked along mountain passes towards the city. Airships blinked with bright strobes, hovering near the vermilion-and-white lighthouse beacon of Canterlot Aerodrome. She spied the castle, but couldn't make out any one pony.

"Can you see her from here?"

"Sure." Octavia hooved over the binoculars. "She's on the balcony of the west tower, the one that hangs furthest out over the edge of the city."

Sweetie lifted the lenses to her eyes and fiddled with the focus knob, bringing the fuzzy blur of the castle into sharp relief. Her gaze traveled up the furthest tower to the balcony, where she spotted a tall white pony with a shimmering mane staring out at the sunset. She could just barely make out the twinkle of a tiara on the pony's head. She saw what looked like a colt trot up next to the Princess, wearing bright golden armor.

"Is that a Royal Guard next to her? She's huge!"

Octavia laughed. "Wait 'till you see her up close! We live in the city and Father meets with her sometimes for work. She's taller than a buffalo! Really nice though."

Sweetie lowered the binoculars, a frown on her face. "It'd be nice to see the castle up close. I don't think we're sticking around tomorrow though, my parents want to catch the early train back to Hoofington so we can start cleaning up the shop."

"You've got to come back to visit then! Maybe this summer, I don't start at Canterlot Academy 'till fall! I'm gonna be boooored, only thing I'm doing over break is taking cello lessons. Mother signs me up every summer, says having me around the house too much makes her mane go gray."

That earned a quiet laugh from Sweetie. "I'll ask my parents! Maybe you can come to Hoofington sometime too, there's great skiing over the winter. So is your mom a doctor like your dad?"

"Nah, she works at Canterlot Academy, it's where they met. Father isn't, like, a doctor-doctor. He used to be a professor of music at CA. He didn't start as a secret agent 'till after they were married. Quit the school and studied all about magical artifacts and crypto-zoology."

"He wasn't always a spy? Don't you need, like, a Cutie Mark in Special Ops to work here or something?"

Octavia giggled. "No, a lot of ponies here used to be in the Royal Guard or whatever but there's plenty who's special talents don't have anything to do with spying or fighting. Mister Cross used to work on the Friendship Express and Mister Story was a writer. Father said it was less about following your special talent and more making sure that other ponies get to find theirs." She shrugged, watching the sun finally sink under the horizon. "Want to head back in? It'll be cold soon, and Father and your parents should be finished up now."

"Sure." Sweetie moved to follow her new friend, glancing down at her Cutie Mark as she stood. The three candies beamed back up at her, showing her skill at sweetening up other ponies' days. Giving other ponies the chance to find theirs... She took one last look at the sweeping vista before her, then turned and trotted back down into the cave.

---

Sunflower Café
Ponyville, Equestria
1001, Second Era of the Two Sisters
One Hour After Lunch Rush

"So yeah, that's how we met. We spent holiday breaks together and we'd hang out anytime I visited Canterlot with my parents. I saw less of her once I graduated, she had her own life going on at CA and I started training for the service. I guess we-- Lyra? Are you okay?"

Lyra's eyes were as big as wagon wheels, two supermassive black holes with tiny rings of gold arond the event horizons. She was vibrating, giving off a gentle hum like somepony had plucked her namesake. "THAT. WAS. SOO. CUTE! YoutwoweresocuteasfilliesIwanttogiveyoubothhugsforeverandwaitifyoutwoweresuchgoodfriendsdoesthatmeanwe'renotBFFs?" She gasped for air.

Bon-Bon blinked. A dozen empty coffee mugs lay in front of her hyperventilating friend. At some point, the waiter must have abandoned efforts to clear the table in a rush to bring Lyra more caffiene. The unicorn found her second wind, again unleashing verbal scattershot upon her best friend.

"Whathappeneddidsomethingpushyoutwoapart?DidshegetallmeanandsnootyatCanterlotAcademyIalwayshatedthosejerksbackatCSGUtheyalwaysbeatusinhoofballandpoloandtheFriendshipGamesandweretotaljerksaboutit!ButitsucksthatyoutwodonttalkanymoreIhatetoseegoodfriendsdriftawaylikethatDoyouknowwhatweshoulddo?ThisisafriendshipproblemweshouldgoseePrincessTwilightandaskherbutwaitnoshesjustthePrincessofNotInvitingLyratoSchoolReunions!MaybeoneoftheotherElementscanhelpbringyoutwobacktogetherMinuetteandIknowPinkiePieprettywellokayImgonnarunovertoSugarcubeCornerandfindherseeyouovertherekbye!"

Lyra was gone in a split second, leaving behind a mint-tinged dust cloud in the approximate shape of a unicorn. Bon-Bon's brain kicked into overdrive in an attempt to process what she just witnessed. It failed, the hamster wheel grinding to a halt as its occupant passed out from heat exhaustion. "What. Just. Happened?"

Sensing an opprotunity, Order Up trotted out onto the patio. All the other breakfast patrons had long since left, with a few scattered lunchgoers still lingering. Best to clear out this table before afternoon tea began. He sauntered over to Bon-Bon, carrying a sheaf of parchment in his magical aura.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Bon. That's one bowl of cinnamon oats and two cups of tea for you, one Appleoosan omlette with daisies, hash hay, alfalfa biscuits, toast with zapapple jam, two bowls Sugar-Coated Flower Bombs, and five pots of coffee for Ms. Heartstrings. Total is eighty-seven bits, not counting gratuity."

Few things in Equestria and beyond could leave Special Agent Sweetie Drops speechless before she had moved to Ponyville. Her mouth moved soundlessly for a minute. She finally found her voice as Order Up waited patiently.

"Is it okay if I throw this on Lyra's tab?"

Author's Note:

Dammit, Octavia, you know you're not supposed to play in the containment cell of the all-powerful tyrant. You had ONE job, Octavia!

So, so sorry about Lyra's word salad. Bon-Bon is so secretive about her past, Ly got a little overexcited at the prospect of learning about her friend's childhood. Also, my brain may have melted from shoveling snow.

Comments

[reader238]

it was less about following your special talent and more making sure that other ponies get to find theirs."

This line here automatically made me think of the cmc even though it was intended to mean savings young lives so they can grow

[Aurochs125]

Definitely one of the better depictions of caffeine addled insanity I've come across...

[DashEight]

7064456

I got about two lines in and realized, "wait, I'm just wriiting Pinkie Pie..."

[Sollace]

That word salad was... tough...