You Can Lead Your Bacon Horse to Water...

by shortskirtsandexplosions

Middle

"Mrrmmmfff..." Rainbow Dash swallowed a cheesy morsel of pizza and gestured across the bedroom floor. "So... like..." She wiped her mouth with her blue wrist. "I was reading an article on the Internet... and it was claiming that girls aren't commonly proficient at guitar-playing because they have smaller hands on average than guys."

"Seriously?" Fluttershy blinked, petting Winona in her lap.

"Eugh..." Rarity rolled her eyes, braiding Fluttershy's hair from behind. "That's sexism for you. Just when you think old prejudices have shriveled up and died, someone invents a digital medium to spread ridiculous ideas far and wide."

Sunset Shimmer nibbled a broccoli topping off her pizza slice and glanced over, eyebrow arched. "What kind of article was this supposed to be? Opinionated or fact-based?"

"I dunno. Both, I guess?" Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Like... it had a list of supposed scientific statistics to back it up."

"Well, that doesn't necessarily mean anything," Twilight Sparkle said, sitting cross-legged while carving a pizza slice into neat quadrants with a plastic fork and knife. "I mean, statistics can lead to gross inaccuracies that seek to prove any point."

"That's not the big deal here!" Rainbow's voice cracked. She frowned across the sea of sleeping bags and blankets. "What I'm trying to get at is that I have small hands!"

"Super small," Fluttershy said, stifling a giggle. "You can barely hold one of my baby hamsters with just one palm."

"Heehe... yes." Rarity bore a coy grin. "I daresay you could get away with joining the peewee soccer league, darling."

"Hey! Hush!" Rainbow frowned, then smirked slyly. "Point is—I can thrash a guitar super well. Doesn't matter the size of my hands!"

"Just how small are your hands, anyways?" Sunset asked, sitting up straight. "I can play a mean guitar too, and I've never noticed the difference."

"Well, you wanna compare?"

"Sure." Sunset leaned forward.

She and Rainbow Dash pressed yellow-and-blue palms together.

"Heh..." Sunset smirked. "Wow. Fluttershy and Rarity are right."

"Eugh..." Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Rub it in, why don'tcha?"

"Are your hands bigger, Sunset?" Rarity asked.

"Seems like it." Sunset glanced at her own fingers, flexing them. "I... don't know if that's a side effect of being born on the Equestrian side of the mirror or..." She grimaced slightly. "Egads... they're not too big, are they?"

Twilight gasped. "No, Sunset!" A delicate smile. "In fact, I think that they're just per—"

"Here, darling." Rarity scoot-scoot-scooted across the sleeping bags. "Let us compare."

Sunset pressed her palm to Rarity's.

"Hah!" Rarity giggled, smiling. "Heaven help you if you ever have to work a needle and thread someday, darling!"

"Oh come on..." Sunset rolled her eyes. "So I'm no surgeon. Big deal."

"Here." Fluttershy motioned over. "May I?"

"Sure." Sunset held her fingers up against Fluttershy's. "Hey! We're about the same!"

Fluttershy winked at Rarity. "And I can sew a skirt just fine."

"Puh-lease." Rarity waved her wrist. "I was only teasing, dear."

"Hey." Rainbow slid across the floor on her knees. "Lemme compare." She entwined her fingers with Fluttershy's. "Yeesh! I'm almost scared to arm wrestle you, girl!"

"Well... I don't quite have the same muscular strength as you, Rainbow."

"Pffft! Muscular shmuscular. It's all about dexterity!"

Sunset chuckled. "Well, we all know you can rise above anything, Miss Rhythm Guitar."

"Heh! You bet your bacon hair!"

Twilight chewed on her bottom lip. She touched her fingers together, squirming noticeably. Her eyes darted across the room, sliding over Sunset's pastel pink curves as the teenager knelt a few breaths away in her two-piece pajamas. At last, Twilight's eyes fell on a pair of yellow wrists—

"Hey Twi! You wanna?"

"Uhhhh!" Twilight fell back, hugging herself. "No! I really don't! Honest—" A jolt. "Erm..." She sat back up, blinking. "What was the question?"

Rainbow Dash knelt down next to her. "Let's compare."

"Oh. Sure. I guess—guh!" Twilight winced as Rainbow's fingers grabbed hers.

"Whoahhhhhh..." Rainbow chuckled raspily. "Yeesh, girl! You're even smaller than me!"

"She is?" Rarity leaned in, holding her dainty hand up to Twilight's. "My stars!" she gasped. "Rainbow's right!"

"Really?" Fluttershy compared her fingers with Twilight. "Awwwwwww..." She giggled. "No wonder the pencils you use are so tiny."

"They're... uh..." Twilight brushed a violet bang over her ear, only for it to cascade back down again. "...a special brand." A gulp. "Dean Cadance buys them for me."

"They can't be that small," Sunset said with a yawn.

"Pffft." Rainbow Dash motioned. "Come see for yourself, Sunset!"

"Sure." Sunset's eyes glistened like starlight as she drifted closer. "Twilight?" a voice like angel song.

"Oh... uhhhhh..." Twilight gulped, smiling crookedly. "Well... if you insist." The girls all watched as she raised her hand.

Sunset raised hers.

Twilight held back panting breaths as her fingers arched through the air, wriggling, coming within a feather's sneeze of Sunset's—

"Guess what, everybodyyyyyy!" Pinkie Pie's voice hollered into the room, followed by the scrumptious scent of apples and cinnamon.

"The apple cobblers are done!" Applejack triumphantly cooed, her gloved hands holding up a baking sheet full of the delicious, sprinkled desserts. "Grab a plate and eat up!"

"Killer!" Rainbow Dash jumped up, her scampering feet sliding a sleeping bag out from underneath.

"Waaah!" Twilight was thrown off balance, falling on her pajama'd rump. "Ooomf!"

"Oh how marvelous!" Rarity and Fluttershy rushed up to the dessert tray. They dragged a frazzled Sunset along. "I've been looking forward to this all evening!"

"... ... ..." Twilight lay on her back. With padding paws, Winona wandered over, barked, and licked her cheek. "Unnnngh..." Twilight reached a trembling hand up and scritch-scratched Winona's fluffy ear. "None for me, thanks. I'm... full." With a sigh, she rolled over and stared into the carpet with dull eyes. "Absolutely... full of it."

Comments

[Kibago]

oh my, poor poor poor Twilight! I can't handle this! Come on, Sunset!!!

This is a great story. I think your characterization of the Humanes is just fantastic.

[SalamiShowdown]

Her hoof? Wait, what?

[OmniFox]

Wonder if this Spike got with Winona?

[SoleReclaimer]

Twilight reached a trembling hoof up and scritch-scratched Winona's fluffy ear.

Little slip up there.

[BabySkittleMonster]

So close... And yet so far.

[DrEggnog]

I'm surprised Skirts managed to not describe Rainbow's hands as petite.

Rarity scoot-scoot-scooted across the sleeping bags.

This wording made me laugh for like 15 seconds. I love how unprofessional Skirts is sometimes.

"They can't be that small," Sunset said with a yawn.

At this point I started wondering if the whole chapter was a metaphor for comparing breast sizes.

[Swan Song]

This just reeks of a bad rom-com anime and I love it.

[BenRG]

Wow! All the Six seem to be working on frustrating poor Twilight today, don't they?

[RainythePegasus_Archive]

I didn't think there was a thing as getting "hand-blocked" but this...

[Magatsu Orpheus]

Does Twilight have a hand fetish? 'Cause it seems like Twilight has a hand fetish. Or at least a fixation.

[FoxyAndPip]

That's 2 times Rainbow has stopped the 'hand touching'. I'm beginning to suspect something

[Greatazuredragon]

"None for me, thanks. I'm... full." With a sigh, she rolled over and stared into the carpet with dull eyes. "Absolutely... full of it."

Poor Twi, either Rainbow caught up to her interest and is messing with her, or Murphy himself is out to get her.

[Scribblesheet The Scribe]

I love how this is the chapter where several of the others touch sunsets and just when she's about to she gets finger blocked. Then add the chapters title in and have a laugh at her expense sorry Twi

[MajesticPoniesEverywhere]

Rainbow Dash knelt down next to her. "Let's compare."

What every dude wants to do in the locker rooms when they're going through puberty.

[Random Order]

6762017

Rarity scoot-scoot-scooted across the sleeping bags.

How did I miss that‽ that's fekkin HILARIOUS!

[pahnazd]

Sweetie perfectly described it in one episode:
OH COME ON!

[ShadowLDrago]

"Seems like it." Sunset glanced at her own fingers, flexing them. "I... don't know if that's a side effect of being born on the Equestrian side of the mirror or..." She grimaced slightly. "Egads... they're not too big, are they?"

I swear, you could replace hands with boobs here and everything would take a very different meaning.

[Scribblesheet The Scribe]

6802968

[arancaytar]

"Guess what, everybodyyyyyy!"

DAMN IT PINKIE

[final13]

6943063 I know right? Is the whole gang gonna cockblock her?

[Vutava]

6798698 [youtube=G0-VTPYXvfc]

[The oracle]

6762892 Its a conspiracy.

[PromKing2010]

6968256 more like Sunblock her! Haha