By My Own Beard!

by DwarvishPony

5. The One Where Ovrik Learns About Meat (a.k.a. The Following)

Ovrik woke to find himself on his back. It was difficult to open his eyes at first, thanks to the blinding sunlight that poured into the barn of Sweet Apple Acres. Ovrik overcame this challenge be keeping one eye shut, and forcing his eyes to adjust one at a time (thinking himself quite clever in the process). After finally adjusting to the noontime sun, Ovrik stood and looked around for his friends.

Pinkie Pie was easy to spot. The bright pink mare was only a few feet away, snoring softly into the table that Ovrik, Pinkie, and Applejack had used for last night's drinking contest. Ovrik couldn't really remember who won.

Applejack was a bit more difficult to find as she was half-buried by a pile of hay in the back of the barn, her stetson hat the only clear marker of where she was. Had it not been for he hat, Ovrik might have missed spotting her completely. A soft grunt of frustration from Applejack told Ovrik that she was awake as well.

"Mornin' Applejack!" Ovrik said jovially. "How ye' feelin'?"

Applejack's response was another groan, followed by pulling her hat down tighter over her ears and eyes. "Too loud..." Came the weak reply, "Sugar cube, turn off that light for me?" Applejack nestled further into the hay until she became a muzzle with a hat on top of it.

Ovrik gave a light chuckle before moving to the door of the barn and mostly closing it. He left the barn open just enough to let in the day's cool breeze and some light so that he could see. Pinkie stirred nearby.

"Owie... My head feels like Dashie did a sonic Rainboom inside of it. Why'd you do it, Dash?" Pinkie was mumbling into the table, her words barely comprehensible. "Go away, Dashie." Pinkie Pie pressed her hooves to her ears and whimpered slightly.

"Ye' all right, Pinkie?" Ovrik touched the mare's shoulder softly.

"I'm okie dokie." The mare's head didn't move from the table. "Peachy keen. You wouldn't happen to have a hayburger on you though, would you?"

"Uh... no?" Ovrik had no idea what a hayburger was, but he was certain he didn't have one.

"Hayburger sounds great. Ahm starved." Applejack spoke up from the back of the barn. "Ow..." Before regretting raising her voice.

"Let's get a hayburger then?" Ovrik offered. "My treat." Ovrik had a fair number of bits from playing assistant to Trixie the other day. Consequently he had learned about bits from Spike after a visit to Nurse Redheart (who could only guess at how to treat dwarven anatomy).

***

The trio walked (slowly) down the street towards a place called The Hayburger. They walked in silence, Pinkie and Applejack nursing their hangovers with juice boxes until they could get some food in them. When they arrived, Ovrik held the door. At the edges of his vision, he thought he saw a flash of something moving but when he looked there was nothing but a bush. Ovrik shrugged and entered the building.

The Hayburger wasn't like any tavern Ovrik had ever seen. Sure it had the wooden furniture and the smell of cooking food in the air, but where were the bards? The fireplace for telling stories around? The barmaids? Ovrik already decided this tavern was rubbish. Before he could suggest they find a better tavern though, Applejack and Pinkie Pie had walked over to the bar and begun conversing with another pony behind it. He heard something about cider season and the 'hangover special', but didn't catch all of it before approaching.

Ovrik ordered the same thing as Pinkie and Applejack, not really knowing what the food was. He paid the barpony behind the counter and the three sat at a nearby table to wait for their food. Applejack still had her hat over her ears and Pinkie, well, was being less Pinkie-y and more... something else. The pink mare had gone completely limp, half-laying on the table. Even her mane seemed to have gone limp, looking much straighter than usual.

"What's that?" Pinkie half-heartedly pointed a hoof at the window. When Ovrik and Applejack looked back at the window, there was nothing there. "It's gone... There it is again." Another hoof pointed at the window, and again there was nothing there. "It's gone again. Oh well..."

The meal came fairly quickly. Ovrik inspected the peculiar looking food in front of him, uncertain of what he was looking at. The fried potatoes looked familiar (despite the horseshoe shape to them). The other thing? Well, it looked kind of like a sandwich. There was a roll sliced in half, with lettuce, tomato, pickle, and a healthy portion of red and yellow sauces. Instead of meat, however, there was a patty that looked like it was made of greasy fried hay.

"What's this thing in the middle o' me sandwich?"

"That there's a hay patty. Ain't nothin' better for a hangover."

"But... where's the meat?" Ovrik's question drew stares from everypony nearby. Many of the staring ponies were slackjawed. One light yellow mare with a rose for a butt tattoo actually fainted out of her seat, leaving her friends waving napkins to cool her off. "Somethin' I said?"

"Hate to break it to yah, sugar cube, but we're ponies. We don' eat meat." Applejack explained the dieting habits with a look of sympathy. "I don' think you'll find a place serving meat anywhere in Equestria, save fer specialty places, maybe."

Ovrik took this news surprisingly well. He took a slow, deliberate breath before standing up. "I don' feel too good. Ye' two can split me food if ye' want. I'm gon' go back to the castle an' lay down."

"You sure yer alright there, Ovrik?" Applejack put down her hayburger with a look of concern.

"Aye, I'll be fine." Ovrik gave a light smile to the mares before leaving the tavern.

Outside, he took another deep breath. By the Gods, this was going to be a difficult stay without meat. A flash of turquoise caught his eye, but when Ovrik looked over there was no pony there. He shrugged and began walking towards the castle. Spike was a dragon. Maybe he knew how to get meat around here.

Ovrik made his way back to the castle. A few ponies were about, enjoying the afternoon weather. Ovrik waved to a gray mare in a pink bow tie and her friend, a white mare with a bright blue, spiky mane. They waved back politely, going about their business. Ovrik could have sworn he heard a high-pitched squeak behind him as he waved. Again when he looked around he found nothing out of the ordinary.

It was about this point that Ovrik started to think something was off. First the thing Pinkie saw in the window, then the glimpses of stuff in the corner of his eye, and now sounds that don't have a source. There was only one logical conclusion: Ponyville was haunted.

Ovrik picked up his pace. He didn't know what this spirit wanted from him, but he'd be damned if he'd wait long enough to find out. Ovrik's path took him down an alley. As he exited the other end, he heard the rattling of a trashcan behind him. A quick glance over his shoulder showed nothing else in the alley.

Ovrik took a left, cutting through the marketplace. He could feel his heart thudding in his chest as he struggled to remain calm. Ovrik hated ghosts. You couldn't take an axe to a ghost's head. Looking back, Ovrik thought he saw another glance of turquoise, but couldn't be sure. At this point though, it was enough. Ovrik took off in a full sprint as fast as his stocky legs could carry him.

He tried changing his route, creating a serpentine path throughout Ponyville. No sudden changes in his route would shake the pursuing spirit. Ovrik made a right down an alleyway, only to hit a dead end. The dwarf took a readied stance and drew his axe. By the Stone, if this spirit intended to harass him, he'd try to wallop it... maybe... he hoped.

A turquoise unicorn popped up from seemingly nowhere into Ovrik's face, eliciting a small cry of shock from him. "Hi! I'm Lyra. I just wanted to say, I'm a huge fan!" The mare spoke excitedly, flashing a toothy grin at Ovrik that was more than a little unnerving.

"I, eh... hi?" Ovrik mumbled his disjointed response, putting away his axe. "Have ye' been followin' me?"

"Well... sorta. I mean I meant to come say hi, but then I got nervous and you seemed like you were hanging out with Applejack and Pinkie Pie and I didn't want to seem rude so I just kinda waited until I could talk to you alone but then you ran and I didn't want to lose you so I kinda followed you until you ran back here." Ovrik gave a slack-jawed stare, barely comprehending the mare's rushed story as he stowed hi axe again.

"Um... ye' coulda just said hi. I thought someone was trying to follow me." Someone being a ghost. Ovrik neglected to share this information though.

Lyra let out a high-pitched squee of delight. "I didn't think it'd be that easy! Can I touch your hand?"

"Huh?" Ovrik scratched the back of his head for a moment. "Um... okay?"

Lyra took Ovrik's free hand between both her hooves. "They're so cool! And you can move each of these wiggly things on their own?! I'm so jealous!" Another cry of pure joy escaped Lyra. All the while, she kept that same toothy grin. Ovrik didn't know what to say. On the one hand, he was very uncomfortable. On the other hand (did ponies say hand or hoof?), Ovrik couldn't bring himself to do something to take the unicorn's smile away. There was something almost endearing about it, like a child with a new toy.

"There you are, Lyra!" Another pony had shown up, this one with a cream coat and a blue and pink mane. "I've been looking for you all over!"

"Bon Bon? What's up?" Lyra turned to face the newcomer.

"Did you forget about our best friends spa visit?"

"Oh that was today? I kinda... lost track of time. This is my new friend... um..." Lyra looked back at Ovrik for a bit of help.

"Ovrik Stonebreaker. Good ta meet ye'." Ovrik tilted his head politely.

Bon Bon sighed and shook her head. "It's good to meet you too. I'm really sorry about any trouble Lyra has caused. She has... interesting interests."

"Bah, s'no trouble at all. She surprised me a bit, but yer friend seems harmless." Ovrik shuffled his feet awkwardly.

"Thank you for putting up with her." A grateful smile crossed Bon Bon's lips.

"You guys know I'm right here, right?" Lyra interjected. "And you're still talking about me."

Ovrik gave a little chuckle. "Sorry, lass."

"Yes, I know you're here. If you hurry up, maybe we can still make our spa appointment." The cream colored mare shot her friend an annoyed look. Lyra took the meaning and began to leave with Bon Bon.

"Thanks again, Ovrik! See you around!" Lyra called back to the mildly perplexed dwarf. She then mouthed the words thank you before disappearing around the corner. Ovrik stood alone absorbing the bizarre encounter for a few seconds before rolling his eyes and heading towards the castle. At least it wasn't ghosts.

Author's Note:

This one's a bit of a mash-up between two comments:

"I'm just waiting for the hilarious scene where Ovrik meets Lyra...." by Sin Zi,

and "we must see the aftermath, Ovrik should wake up without a hangover, it will be glorious." by Dagon M Dragoon

Comments

[The Shade]

6567405 I certainly hope you're willing to share.
i.imgur.com/ImEHC69.jpg

[Revan]

Hmm...

Princess Luna should show up in Orvik's dreams. The conversation ought to be interesting.

Also, Orvik's very presence is a chaotic factor, so he'll become a long-term focus of attention for Discord.

While the CMC may have gotten their cutie marks, they're still as adventurous as ever.

So, Orvik + Discord + CMC = Chaos.

In addition, I can't wait to see Rarity's reaction to his (almost certainly) battered armor. The fashonista and the dwarf in conflict. Who will emerge triumphant?

[Dagon M Dragoon]

sweet

[Ultimate Bromaeda]

A hangover is no challenge to the mighty dwarf
Though ghosts have proven difficult
And Lyra has so too
The greatest test will be the diet he has to morph

[Darkos11]

We have to see some mighty Dwarven battle soon agenst s I me dogs or timber wolf's

[TheTownCrier]

6578252 Interesting. I wonder what Ovrik will look like bedazzled. Jewels jewels everywhere.

[D48]

While this is fun, it feels a bit too disconnected to really be a story. I feel like you really need to work on doing a better job of connecting events into a flowing narrative because as is I am having trouble getting into it. The bit with Trixie is a great example of this because he was with her on stage one minute and then it cut to after they were done dealing with each other which killed the flow of the story and cost us a lot of potentially interesting character interactions. That really hurts the ability of the story to develop relationships, and it unfortunately looks like it is happening again here because Lyra and Bon Bon just ran off after a quick meeting rather than inviting him along to really get to know each other. I'll track this for now because it is looking like it could be a ton of fun if you can pull it together, but I cannot give it a thumbs up or fave as is.

[PegaSeraph]

6578092 Sure, have a pint

[Luna Ravenwolf]

And now he most go gather some meat cause ye can't be a dwarf with out some meat in ya belly

[Sir Crabington]

Get your axe made of silver. Now, Werewolfs and Vampires are nothing against a Dwarf!

How does this relate at all? Dwarfs need to plan around the pesky immortals. And Ghosts. I think a material that can harm ghosts exists.

[Greatazuredragon]

It was about this point that Ovrik started to think something was off. First the thing Pinkie saw in the window, then the glimpses of stuff in the corner of his eye, and now sounds that don't have a source. There was only one logical conclusion: Ponyville was haunted.

Oh Sweet Celestia!
That was awesome, great work.

[DarkKnightofIT]

6595205
That material would be Pinkie Pie, don't even question it.

[DovahLord1233]

8586395
Or an offensive spell.