Fifthteen hours before Nightmare Moon's return...
Finally, the day I was waiting for, the Summer Sun Celebration has finally came to Ponyville, though I also dreaded this day as well, for today is the day that Nightmare Moon returns. 'On the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape,' I remembered, 'Today will determine the fate of Equestria.' I was torn out of my thoughts when I heard a chariot land, carrying who I assumed was Twilight. I started to approach to welcome her, but Pinkie beat me to her. Before I could get out of my shock, wondering how she managed to get there before me, Twilight had already moved on. 'Damn, she's already gone...' I thought bitterly. At that moment, however, I realized that Pinkie probably has a party planned for her, so I could welcome her later. This was enough to get me moving, doing the part my mother has given me personally, no matter how much I hated it.
Later that night, it Pinkie crowded all of us into the library, where I assumed was where Twilight was staying. We stood around for a good five minutes before Pinkie said, "Everypony hide!" When she said that, we all scattered for a hiding spot. We waited for another few minutes before the door opened revealing a Twilight. We let her get farther in before we sprung out and yelled, "SURPRISE!"
After the party started, I walked up to Twilight, "Hey, Twilight! I wanted to meet you earlier, but I just missed you by the time I got there. My name is Sunny Days," I told her, holding out a hoof to shake. When she didn't shake, I slowly put down my hoof with a look of confusion on my face, before mentally facehoofing, remembering what the letter said. After a few moments, Twilight went on to do her own thing, which involved going upstairs. A few hours later, it was time to see my foster mother raise the sun. After we all herded into Town Hall (while situating myself next to Twilight), the mayor appeared.
"Fillies and gentlecolts, as mayor of Ponyville, it is my great pleasure to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration!" A lot of ponies cheered at that, "In just a few moments, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise, and celebrate this, the longest day of the year! And now, it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria, Princess Celestia!" The curtains opened to reveal... nothing.
"That can't be good," I heard Twilight say over the muttering. As the mayor tried to calm everypony down, a star-filled fog started to come from where my mother was supposed to come from, which dissipated to reveal Nightmare Moon. When she appeared, I didn't stick around to see what she would do. Silently, I snuck back to the library, thinking that would be the best place to look to try and find something that could defeat her. A few minutes after I reached the library, Twilight came storming in, causing me to jump. "S- Sunny? What are you doing here?" she asked.
"What do you think? I knew of her return for five years." I told her, "Now help me look for something that can defeat her." For a good five minutes, we scrambled around (though Twilight told me that the elements were the only things that could defeat her), trying to find a way to defeat her as Twilight muttered...
"Elements, Elements, Elements, how can I defeat Nightmare Moon without the Elements of Harmony?" At that moment, Rainbow rushed in.
"And just what are the Elements of Harmony? And how did you know about Nightmare Moon, huh? Are you a spy?" she accused.
"Rainbow!" I scolded, "She's not a spy!"
"And how can I trust you? I saw you sneak out after Nightmare showed up!" I froze at what she said, I was losing all of the trust she had for me. Thankfully, Applejack came to our rescue, pulling Rainbow by her tail.
"Simmer down, Sally. They ain't no spies. But they sure knows what's going on. Don't cha'?" Applejack said as the other mares came up upon us. After a quick glance at each other, me and Twilight started to explain what we knew.
While we were talking, Pinkie said, "'The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide.'"
This caused Twilight to gallop over, "How did you find that?" she asked.
"It was under 'E'"
"Oh...." she opened the book, "There are six Elements of Harmony, but only five are known: Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty and Loyalty. The sixth is a complete mystery. It is said, the last known location of the five elements was in the ancient castle of the royal pony sisters. It is located in what is now the Everfree Forest." Most of my friends' eyes went wide at that, though I wasn't too fazed by it; I really didn't know what it was about that forest that has everypony worked up. After a short trot, we made it to the entrance to the forest.
"Whee! Let's go!" Pinkie exclaimed.
"Not so fast, I really appreciate the offer, but I really rather do this on my own."
"No can do, sugarcube. We sure ain't lettin' any friend of ours go into that creepy place alone," Twilight seemed to cringe at the word 'friend', "We're stickin' to you like caramel on a candy apple." This was followed by an agreeing 'mhmp', causing Twilight to sigh.
This was going to be a long night.
As we were walking, I decided to find out what it was about this place that has everypony worked up, "What is it about this place that has y'all worked up?" I asked, not expecting to get an answer.
Rarity, not surprisingly, was the first to speak up, "Just look at it... it's dreadful," she started.
"And it ain't natural," Applejack continued, "Folks say it don't work the same as Equestria."
"What's that supposed to mean?" me and Twilight asked at the same time.
"Nopony knows, and do you know why?" Rainbow said in a menacing voice.
"Rainbow, quit it!" Applejack scolded.
"'cause everypony who's ever come in has never come out!" the cliff we were standing on collapsed on us, though Rainbow was quick to recover, "Fluttershy! Quick!" Rainbow and Fluttershy started to pick us up, starting with Pinkie and Rarity, though when Applejack saw Twilight slide to the edge, she slid down after her.
"Applejack! What do I do?" Twilight asked after Applejack grabbed her. I, from my perch on the side of the cliff where I managed to get a hoof-hold, saw Rainbow and Fluttershy position themselves under Twilight. Applejack seemed to notice this.
"Let go."
"Are you crazy?!"
"No, I ain't. I promise you'll be safe."
"That's not true!"
"Now listen here. What I'm sayin' to you is the honest truth. Let go, and you'll be safe." After a moment of silence, Twilight dropped... right into Rainbow's and Fluttershy's hooves. Seeing that Twilight was safe, I slid down. While I was wondering how I was going to get down, I felt some hooves lift me up. Looking back, I see Rainbow attempted to lift me up with the help of Fluttershy. Together, the gently lifted me down to the ground where the rest of the girls were waiting.
As we continued walking, Rainbow started to boast about saving Twilight. Even though I tuned them out, I heard a disturbingly familiar roar. Looking ahead, I saw something I hoped never to see, a manticore. This caused my muscles to lock up as I looked on with fear. Fluttershy immediately ran into me. Wondering what held me up, she looked past me and knew what was happening immediately. "Get Sunny out of here!" Fluttershy told the others, "I got this." She started to walk up to the manticore. Even though it roared at her, she just nuzzled it and it opened it's paw and revealed a thorn. After she pulled out the thorn, the others started to move past her and the manticore (though they had to drag me as I was paralyzed with fear).
"How did you know about the thorn?" Twilight asked.
"I didn't, but sometimes we all need to be shown a little kindness."
"Soooo," Rainbow interrupted, "I have an idea on how to get her out of her trance." She trotted up to me and slapped me three times.
"OUCH!!" I yelled., "You know, water would of done the trick as well, right?" I asked with a shake of my head.
"Anyways, Sunny? What happened back there?" Rainbow asked, causing the other mares to look at me. I was starting to get uncomfortable when Fluttershy came to the rescue.
"She has a really huge fear of manticores." she explained. When Rainbow was about to ask if it were true, I gave her a halfhearted nod. After that, we continued in silence.
As we were walking, Rarity started to complain about the forest, which, undoubtedly, caused the light to dim around us. "I didn't mean it literally," she commented.
"That ancient ruin could be right in front of our faces and we wouldn't even know it," Twilight pointed out. After a few more steps, Fluttershy screamed out.
"It's just mud..." Applejack faltered when she saw the tree in front of her, "Ahh!"
After a few minutes of screaming, we heard laughing, which caught our attention. The source of the laughing was coming from Pinkie. "Pinkie? What are you doing? Run!" Twilight exclaimed.
"Oh, girls, don't you see? When I was a little filly and the sun was going down..." Pinkie started.
"Tell me she's not..."
"The darkness and the shadows, they would always make me frown..."
"She is."
"I'd hide under my pillow
From what I thought I saw
But Granny Pie said that wasn't the way
To deal with fears at all"
"Then what is?" Rainbow asked.
"She said, 'Pinkie, you gotta stand up tall
Learn to face your fears
You'll see that they can't hurt you
Just laugh to make them disappear.'
Ha! Ha! Ha!" The tree's face turned into normal bark, causing us to gasp.
"So, giggle at the ghostly
Guffaw at the grossly
Crack up at the creepy
Whoop it up with the weepy
Chortle at the kooky
Snortle at the spooky
And tell that big dumb scary face to take a hike and leave you alone and if he thinks he can scare you then he's got another thing coming and the very idea of such a thing just makes you wanna... hahahaha... heh... Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuugh!" This caused everypony except me to fall over laughing. The only thing the song brought me was sorrow about my past life, the life I couldn't remember. Pinkie soon noticed this. "Sunny? What's wrong?" Pinkie asked with worry.
"All the song did was bring back sorrow I kept down for years." I admitted, nearly crying. The other mares suddenly looked at me with guilt on their faces.
After the other mares managed to lift my spirits, we continued along. We walked for about five minutes before we came upon some rapids. "How are we going to cross this?" Pinkie asked rhetorically.
"Girls, do you hear that?" I asked. My friends listened closely and heard what I was talking about, some distant crying. After finally tracking down the source, we came across a sea serpent (though why a sea serpent is in the middle of a river is beyond me). After a a few minutes, Rarity pulled a scale off the serpent, much to his displeasure, and shaved off a portion of her tail. Lifting it up in her magic, she put a piece of the now cut of tail in the place of his missing mustache. The serpent thanked us (along with getting us a dry path across) and we continued along. We then came to a ravine, which Twilight almost fell off of. Rainbow, going across it, started to tie the bridge up. However, we noticed what looked like three mares, which looked like they were trying to convince Rainbow to abandon us. As we tried to call out to her, the fog thickened, blocking our view of her. After a few minutes, the fog lifted, revealing Rainbow as she was coming back across.
"See? I'd never leave my friends hangin'," she told Twilight.
As we entered the throne room, the pegasi of the group started to pick up the Elements and slowly bring them to the floor. "Careful, careful," Twilight said. Pinkie started to count them.
"... There's only five!" Pinkie stated.
"Where's the sixth?" Rainbow questioned.
"The book said that 'when the five Elements are present, a spark will cause the sixth one to appear'," Twilight recalled.
"What the hay is that supposed to mean?"
"I'm not sure, but I have an idea. Stand back. I don't know what will happen," Twilight told us as she started to charge up a spell.
"Come on now, y'all. She needs to concentrate," Applejack told us as we filed out of the room. It seemed like a few moments later when we heard Twilight yell in surprise, causing us to rush back into the room, only to find Twilight nowhere in sight. That was when everypony started to panic, trying to figure out where she went. It didn't take long for Rarity to find her... which was in the next tower over. We all started rushing over to the tower. After a short trot, we started to hear Twilight.
"... Well, you're wrong, because the spirits of The Elements of Harmony are right here," she stated with a stomp of her hoof, which was followed by each of us flanking Twilight on both sides. She started to rattle off who represented each Element, with the exception of me.
After she was done, Nightmare stated, "You still don't have the sixth Element! The spark didn't work!"
"But it did! A different kind of spark," she turned to us, "I felt it the very moment I realized how happy I was to hear you, to see you, how much I cared about you. The spark ignited inside me when I realized that you all... are my friends! You see, Nightmare Moon, when those Elements are ignited by the... the spark, that resides in the heart of us all, it creates the sixth element: the element of... magic!" Before they could utilize the Elements, Nightmare quickly shot a bolt of magic directly at Twilight, surprising us all. For some reason, time seemed to slow down as I galloped to push her out of the way. I barely got her out of the way, but there wasn't enough time for me to get out of the way, so I was blasted into a already crumbling wall. Before I was covered in rubble, I saw my wings reappear. I shortly passed out.
"Sunny!" I exclaimed. 'She... she saved my life,' I realized. With newfound anger, I turned back towards Nightmare, with my friends doing the same. We activated the Elements of Harmony, shooting a rainbow beam at Nightmare Moon. A few seconds later, she was encased in a cyclone of rainbow magic. As the Elements deactivated, we all rushed over to the pile of rubble to try and get our friend out. We were so focused on trying to get her out that we didn't notice the princess walk up behind us.
"Allow me," she simply said, causing all of us to jump. After the initial shock, we immediately fell into a bow, afterwards, we continued to dig at the pile. It took a few minutes, but I finally saw a horn poking out through the rubble.
"Over here!" I called out. The others immediately came over. When we got the rubble off her, however, everypony gasped.
"Sunny!" the princess screamed, rushing over to pull her out. After she pulled out the unconscious form of a now alicorn Sunny; she immediately started to cry into her coat. "Girls, I want you to get her to a hospital," before we could protest, she yelled, "NOW!" Her horn lit up in a golden aura, Sunny's body doing the same. Seconds later, her wings seemed to disappear. Shortly after, we reappeared back in Ponyville, surprising everypony in the immediate vicinity.
"We need a doctor!" I called out. Almost immediately, a white coated mare came up to us.
"Come on, take her this way," she said urgently with a wave of her hoof. After we got her into a bed, we were asked to give her some space.
"She.... She saved me...." I muttered, still not believing that she would do that.
With a gasp of pain, I shot up in.... my.... bed? I took a quick look around to see two alicorns and my friends, though Twilight wasn't anywhere in sight. I recognized one of the alicorns as my mother, though I didn't recognized the other. She had a dark blue coat with a light blue mane and a crescent moon for a cutie mark. They didn't seem to realize that I was awake, so I tried to call for my most likely worried mother.
"M- Mom?" I asked weakly. She immediately snapped her head towards me.
"Shh," she said in a worried tone as soon as she embraced me, "Don't worry, everything is fine now."
"I- is Twilight ok?" I managed next, only to get a nod. "G- good." I weakly said with a weak smile. I could rest in peace knowing that Twilight was ok.
"Oh no... you're not dying on us!" Pinkie said in a serious tone. Once again, she seemed to show the ability to read minds, with freaked me out to be honest.
"W-what makes you think that I'm going to die?" I weakly laughed. I tried to get up, only to fall back down unconscious.
So Sunny did have a roll to play.
This is one more thing you probably should have told the readers from the start when she moved from the castle, since she already know about what was about to happen. I always thought it was strange that no apperent reason was given for the move and the nightmares (why she dident freak).
And why did Rainbow freak youst becuse she told them about Celestia it is not like she lied about her family.
Thanks that keept bugging me, some storylines dont allow that kind of healing magic, saying its to costly in mana and what not. And since we havent been told hove your universe works it was a small glitch for me (reading way to much.)
Hello once more, friend! I apologize again for taking so long getting to this. Studies were starting to eat up some time. I appreciate you letting me know that this was posted.
General Comments
Before I begin, I'd like to make note of an error you consistently make. When you have an ellipsis (the ...), don't put a space between it and the word after it. It works like dashes, that way: simply word...word.
Other than that, there were some smaller errors, but nothing that detracted from the story.
NightMare Moon
I still don't think that Rainbow would so quickly distrust Sunny. Even if she did see Sunny sneaking out of the celebration, I'd figure that she'd first ask for an explanation before jumping to conclusions. She may be brash, but she usually gives her friends some time to keep their course (even if it is with a dose of complaining) before she finally loses her temper.
I'd think that although Sunny wouldn't be too fazed by the self-sustaining nature of the Everfree Forest, she'd still be afraid of it for other reasons. Namely, the predators within.
She didn't mean what literally? I haven't seen this episode in some time, and I understand the reenactment (more on that later), but this really could've used whatever Rarity said to lead to the forest darkening and her comment.
I usually don't mind sudden POV changes, and I'm glad you let us figure out for ourselves who was speaking rather than just telling us. However, this change seemed out of place. After all, this extended flashback is a story Sunny is telling Twilight, correct? Why did we suddenly change to Twilight's POV? Like I said in a previous comment, we (or most of us, anyway) already know what happened in the battle, so Twilight's part could easily have been skipped, the next scene having Sunny wake up in the hospital, followed by a quick recap from either Twilight, Celestia, or both.
The pun here is funny, but falls somewhat flat. I suggest changing "rest peacefully" to "rest in peace", giving that that's what everyone says to a deceased person and what's written on almost every grave.
Conclusion
I know I brought of reenactments of an episode in an earlier comment, but I'd like to say that I'm more accepting of this one. After all, you've spent many chapters showing Sunny's relationship with her friends and gearing up for the conflict with Nightmare Moon. After all that buildup, I have to say that I'm glad you didn't take my advice to just skip over this part, because doing so would've felt incomplete after everything you've written in the previous chapters. So good on you for proving me wrong on this point .
It appears we're close to the end of the flashback. It's been a wild ride, and I'm glad you took the time to go over these events, giving each the detail it deserves. I'm not sure where this'll be going after Sunny's story to Twilight, or even if this story in general will continue afterward, but I'm excited to see what you decide, whatever you decide. Good luck!
I kind of hoped they would turn to her, reveal her as a princess, and that way she would somehow go with Twilight and the others.
why? they know her far longer, why does she think that she would be a spy?
the scene where "the princess" helped sunny I wasn´t sure if it where Celestia, or Luna. Sometimes I´m never really sure who is speaking. At least now that there were more than two ponys.