26- Playtime's Over
Bound by Scales- Playtime’s over
Point of View: Ken
“Okay, ah was lead to believe that somepony else that was a friend of Sweetie Belle’s was with them… what the hay was that all about?” That question immediately came from Applejack the moment that we heard the newest “guest” of the Carousel Boutique from inside. I honestly did not know who the person actually was… but I had a feeling of who it might be. I remembered that from my conversation with my mother Athena about the fact that a few of my relatives also got displaced here along with her. One of course, being my cousin Tina. Despite being too young for her age to actually play Borderlands 2, she watched my uncle play it and found herself to have a lot of things in common with Tiny Tina in game… including her personality.
So that lead me to believe that based on the evidence presented… that inside the boutique was actually my cousin in there. And how can things get any more complicated this morning? “Uhh, Ken? That Asphyxious friend of yours just walked out of Twilight’s castle.” Okay, really!? He decides to visit NOW!? God, this is going to be an exceptionally long morning.
Applejack was then tackled by the four armed vampimorph that I remembered as Orendi… who apparently seemed to have come along for the ride. “Come and cuddle with THESE ARMS!” She shouted in joy.
“Clover for the love of god slow down!” Asphyxious yelled as he gasped for breath. Turning around, I noticed the both of them as I sighed to myself and looked at them.
“Asphyxious… It’s not like I don’t like seeing you or anything but… How exactly did you know that I was in Ponyville with AJ?” I asked him as Applejack was trying to pry herself from Orendi. She seemed pretty eager to see us, that was for sure.
“Clover… Wanted to come… She made a portal… Had no idea where you were when she didn’t see you at the hollow…. She had me running all day….” Asphyxious explained as he dropped to the floor letting his wings out, wait. This, of course, lead me to believe one thing as I looked back at Applejack.
“Shayne told you about the portal that was in the hollow didn’t she? The one that was connected to Twilight’s castle?” I asked. We had set that up a LONG time ago after the first time I had to travel to Ponyville from the hollow and that was by foot. Even had to escape from a Hydra in order to make it out of there in one piece. So either they took that portal… or went the LONG way around.
“Sorry, I wanted to see how everyone was doing. Let tinker!” Clover said with a smile before covering her mouth at that last part. “Sorry.” I was going to accept her apology… but that was when we all heard a new voice echo from inside the carousel boutique.
“Come on iiiiiiin, you’re missing all the fuuuuun!!” We heard, followed by a giggling noise inside as I turned to Orendi and Asphyxious. I’m honestly not sure if they were more confused or disturbed by what they were hearing, but something told me that they had come along for the ride… Hopefully Aaron was doing better than I was…
“Sorry sir, but we can’t let you into the come into the convention.”
“Wait… why is that? We paid for our admissions and everything.”
“Yeah, but our security team believes that you are a security risk to everypony inside the convention. I’m sorry but I can’t let you in-.”
“So you’re telling me that I can’t be able to go inside and spend time with my marefriend just because I pose a risk? That’s discrimination!!!!”
Yeah, hopefully he was doing a lot better than I was right now… Especially when I heard Asphyxious speak a few moments later. “Oh by Luna's moon no!” Asphyxious yelled in terror.
“It’s Tina!” Screamed Orendi in excitement.
“Asphyxious, restrain her! There’s a lot more to this than you guys know!” I quickly told her, only to try and have Orendi pull at the door… only for it to not budge… even with all four of her arms it didn’t work and when Asphyxious pulled her off of there, the door still didn’t move at all… for one main reason.
“Uh… if I may say something,” Applejack replied. “You need to push that door open to go inside, not pull it.”
“Don’t give Clover ideas! We need to run away!” Asphyxious yelled at Applejack until he realized Orendi was gone from his arms. “Oh crap…” Only problem was that when Orendi tried to open the door again… it blew off the hinges and sent her flying into Asphyxious.
“Ta-da!!” I heard as I turned to see exactly who I thought it was. Tina… my cousin… as Tiny Tina. For a moment, I thought she wouldn’t be able to recognize me… but that was when I saw her look at me and almost tear up in the process as she leaped towards me. “Kenny!!”
Yeah, that’s right… she called me Kenny. Normally, I hated it when anyone else would call me by that nickname because all it did was lead me to being compared by the same kid on South Park and the amount of times that he got killed over the course of the series… including when they replaced his heart with a baked potato during the movie. But there were two exceptions. Pinkis back at the Hollow was one of them… the other was Tina back home… and she was right now here… and dear god, I’ve missed her.
That was… until our little moment was rudely interrupted. “Weeeeeeee! Exploding hugs!” Orendi screamed as she get off of Asphyxious who was seeing stars at this point. “I want to do that again!” All that did was cause Tina to look at me before looking back at Orendi as her voice changed.
“Uh… what’s wrong with your timing, girl? Can’t you see that I’m trying to have a bonding moment with my cousin that I haven’t seen in some time and now you try that? …… It’s alright, huggabutt. I forgive you.” Tina replied… At this point, I’m not so sure if that was a good thing or bad thing as Asphyxious was trying to see straight. Yet one detail really caught somepony in particular by surprise.
“Whoa nelly… this little one is your cousin!?”
I nodded my head, picking myself up off the ground as I looked back at Applejack. “Yeah AJ, back home, Tina’s my cousin… Remember what Athena told us? My aunt, uncle and cousin also ended up here too along with her. But I honestly didn’t expect to meet her here.”
“It understandable when you think about it, in some cases our minds fall back on something we know as a coping mechanism. To help deal with being displaced.” Asphyxious said as he was finally standing again.
“No, that’s not what I mean, Asphyxious… When Applejack and I talked with my mother, who was displaced as Athena, she told us that my aunt, uncle, and cousin would be in Manehattan, not here. So that just leaves the question… How did Tina end up here?”
“I came here with Pinkie Pie and Butt Stallion,” Tina happily replied. “Oh and FYI, Mr. Torgue also came with us too.” Woah, back up… did I exactly hear that right?
“Butt Stallion?” Asphyxious asked as Orendi started to giggle.
“Yeah, she called herself Rarity or something like that, but I was all like PFFT!!! She is Queen Butt Stallion who brings light back to the world… in bunkers and badasses that is.” Tina chuckled. “Oh and I almost forgot, Mr. Torgue should be coming back from the market with her anytime soon, so all of you might want to get some MANNERS and be on your best behavior!” That last part threw me in a bit of a headspin… I had a lot of questions for her… and all of them were about to be answered in a matter of seconds.
“Can we come in?” Orendi asked Tina as she stands next to my cousin.
“Why of course, I was gonna prepare some tea-.”
“MY DOOR!!!” I heard a familiar voice scream as I saw Rarity gallop over, who was using her magic to carry all of her shopping with her as she raced over to us like she was racing over to the scene of a crime. “Tina, why would you try and blow up the door to my boutique?! Couldn’t you just open it like any other pony would?” When the unicorn asked that, she didn’t even pay attention to me or the fact that Orendi and Asphyxious were also here too. But the response I heard from Tina was… unexpected.
“I got bored.”
That… made Rarity twitch. “You… blew up… my door… because you were BORED!?! I thought the cookies I left out would at least keep you occupied.”
“So YOU’RE the one who left out the raisin cookies!! Why would you serve cookies that aren’t chocolate chip!?! You have only yourself to blame!!!”
“I like raisins but I’d never put them in cookies.” Asphyxious commented.
“Raisin cookies should be seen as a war crime, I tell you. A WAR CRIME!!” Tina replied as before she hopped onto me unexpectedly, put her arms around my shoulders and wrapping her legs around my waist. “Nap time!” I just sighed, looking back at Rarity as Applejack trotted up next to her.
“So… it seems like you met my cousin now…” I sighed, causing Rarity to gasp a little as she looked back at me. “Yes, Tina is my cousin… say, she said that someone else was with you… Would you happen to know where he is?”
“He’s… running a bit behind…” The unicorn told us, shortly before we heard something as all of us turned around and Orendi and Tina went inside the boutique.
“I’M BACK RARITY!!! SORRY I WAS RUNNING BEHIND-.” Yep, this was definitely Mr. Torgue. That was for sure-. “HOLY S**T, YOU FOUND A PIRATE!!!” Okay, that just caused me to facepalm myself as I looked at Asphyxious and Rarity. “OH MY GOD, DID THAT F**KING PIRATE JUST KIDNAP MY NEPHEW AND IS NOW HOLDING HIM UP FOR RANSOM!?!”
“What?” Asphyxious asked in confusion.
“YOU HEARD ME, SCALEBEARD!! DID YOU!?!” He shouted again. At this point, I could definitely tell that he was my uncle. After all, why else would he call me Nephew? But before I got the chance to clear things up, my uncle made another wild claim once he saw my dragon arm. “HOLY F**KS**T!!! YOU FORCED HIM TO BE PART OF YOUR CREW, DIDN’T YOU?!!”
“Ken what the f**k is this guy on?!” Asphyxious asked before blinking. “What the f**k? What the hell! Where that beeping coming from!?”
“Just… let me fix this.” I assured him, walking up to him. “Guys… this is my uncle… Trust me, I already met Tina earlier… To answer some questions immediately… No, Asphy is not a pirate, he’s not holding me up for ransom, the reason for my arm is a different story and the reason behind the beeping… well… maybe I should let him explain that.” I said as Mr. Torgue cleared his throat. “Oh and before I let him speak… he normally talks like this.”
“THANK YOU, KEN!! NOW, THE REASON WHY MY VOICE BEEPS ALL THE F**KING TIME IS BECAUSE WHATEVER THE F**K SENT ME HERE MADE MY VOICEBOX A REAL OBJECT. AND WITH IT, THEY ALSO INSTALLED A DIGITAL CENSOR SO I CAN’T SAY THINGS LIKE S**T, C**K, OR P***YF***** D***BALLS!!! THAT’S ALMOST HALF OF MY VOCABULARY AND I’M STILL P**SED ABOUT THAT!!” Well, hopefully that cleared things up for them… Now though, I believe the last thing that we would want right now is to have some foal ask their parents what some of those words mean.
“Oh… Okay, so now what?” Asphyxious looking back at me.
“Well, maybe we should head inside and have some tea. I believe that it might be better for all of us if we have this conversation indoors.” Rarity suggested. But as we walked inside, we soon heard something from the kitchen.
“Oh dear…”
“What’s the matter Rarity?” Applejack asked her friend as she looked back at us.
“This is the reason why I had to buy an extra tea set this morning,” Rarity sighed. For a moment, we weren’t sure what she was talking about, but soon… we began to hear Tina sing.
“I’m a little teapot, bloody and cut… here is my handle, here is my butt-.” That was followed by a short explosion going off and then hearing Tina speak again. “Uh whoops… Okay, verse 2!” Wait, she has another verse? “Put a bomb in a hot ass damsel, blow stuff up and make people die! Squishy… squishy… squishy, squishy… Oh daaaaaamn ladies, you looking rather sexy tonight!”
Of course, when we actually got in there, we found Tina with some dolls on the counter… all dressed up with samples of cloth from Rarity’s workshop… and broken pieces of an old teapot. “What do you think? Who wants to have some valkyrie maidens to take home with them tonight!? They’re twin sisters!!”
Asphyxious joined me in facepalming. “My lord I hope my kids don’t end up like her when they're older.” Asphyxious groaned.
“How old do you think I am, Mr. Boney pants guy!?” Tina shot back. “I’m only thirteen! Now, while you were waiting, I took the liberty of making crumpets for all of us!” As she said that, the teen took some oven mitts and opened up the oven as she brought out a large cookie sheet of freshly made crumpets.
“Uh… not that I don’t enjoy a well baked treat, but wasn’t Sweetie Belle suppose to be with you?” Rarity questioned, looking at Applejack. “I had her keep an eye on you while I was out shopping today.”
“I know that, she was helping me in the kitchen.” Tina calmly replied, which made Rarity’s eyes twitch a little in response to that. “Mmm, the smell delicious! … And Moxxi thought that I was not responsible enough to handle an oven on my own. Take that!” That… had me look as Asphyxious as I noticed a bit of a blush appearing on his cheeks.
“Moxxi?” He asked before looking at me. “She can’t mean?” Applejack looked at me in confusion as I swallowed what was in my throat.
“I have a feeling she does… Earlier, Athena suggested for Applejack to not say “Sugarcube” when we meet my aunt… I think I just figured out the reason why.” I replied, sitting down at the table. We all sat down as I took the chance to talk to both Tina and Torgue about what was going on along with how they ended up here exactly. Orendi herself… was actually pretty calm… mostly because she was snuggling Asphyxious in the process as we took the time to talk. But it was then that Tina also asked me something.
“So Kenny… can I ask you two things?” I nodded my head as I began to sip the cup of coffee I was having. “One, what happened to your arm? And two… I’ve been noticing that you and Ms. Cowgirl over here have been talking to each other for quite a while…” Oh god, please don’t say what I think she’s gonna say… But it turns out she didn’t need to ask anything in order to read my expression. “Oh daaaaamn son, you’re definitely getting some of that booty!”
“Tina!!” Rarity snapped at her. “That was rather rude of you to say!!”
“What? I’m just congratulating him!!” Tina responded. “They look rather cute together…” That was when she turned to Asphyxious and said something that almost made me spit out my coffee. “Just like these two. They look like a rather cute couple in my book!”
“Okay, one she my sister. Two I am not doing that with her!” Asphyxious yelled, as Orendi was blushing and hiding behind him.
“Calm down, Boney… I didn’t know that you two were family…” Tina said, shortly before clearing her throat. “I must sincerely apologize for assuming your current position, Sir Boney Pants Guy. I do hope you can forgive a lady such as myself… At least you are a gentleman unlike Sir Reginald… After conversing with him, I discovered that he is indeed quite racist towards those who heir from Mexicolt.” I almost had the urge to slam my head into the table at this point… but Asphyxious was actually surprised by the rapid change in Tina’s behavior… Earlier, she was using slang and now she was speaking like an aristocrat.
“Oh umm, apology accepted. Next time just ask and it’ll save a lot of misunderstanding.” Asphyxious replied as Clover whispered something into his ear. “What? No, what made you think? We’ll talk about this later.” That was when Tina got up from her seat and hugged Asphyxious.
“Thanks huggabutt.” She said, before looking back at me. “Now… Ken, I did believe I was asking you a question…” Well, she wasn’t wrong there. Out of the two questions, the second one was uncalled for… but there was still the first one I had to answer.
“It’s a long story, Tina-.”
“Don’t worry, I got all the time in the world…” She said to me, chuckling a little. “Now… about your arm? Because I was gonna say that it looks like that of a dragon… I’ve seen some weird things but daaaaamn, this is the weirdest!”
“Well… you’re right on the whole dragon thing… but how it happened is a lot different that what you may think…” I looked at Applejack for a moment, thinking over what I could do to really “convince” her about what happened. She would probably fall asleep if I told her the whole story… But… I had one other possible idea in order to help her understand. “But maybe it’ll be best if I introduce to you a friend of mine.”
Asphyxious had a deadpan look on his face as Orendi was cuddling up to him. “Oooh, what kind of friend?” Tina asked. I chuckled, having her come over to me as I looked back at her.
“A pretty big one, that’s for sure…” I told her as I looked over to the Unicorn that was setting a cup of tea down on the saucer by her side of the table. “Can I please excuse myself for the moment, Rarity?”
“Go ahead, darling.” Rarity said… but the last thing I heard before I walked outside really caused me to sigh deeply once more… and might’ve also convinced Applejack to join us a couple of minutes later.
“INNUENDO!!”
Point of View: Aaron
Well, today so far couldn’t get any worse. First, when both Rainbow Dash and I got to the convention center that was holding… Daring-Con I think it was called? Honestly, I don’t remember, but by the time we got there the crowds were huge! It took a while to get in the lines to buy the passes for Dash, Fire, Thunder and myself in order to go in, but it wasn’t EXTENSIVELY long like back home…
Then there was what happened at the gate. Just as I was getting checked in, one of the stallions that was in charge of the event’s security pulls me off to the side and says that I’m not allowed in, even though by this point Rainbow and both of the Twins were already allowed inside. Their reason for not allowing me in? They thought I was a security risk… Seriously!? Just because I look different and not a pony like they are does NOT make me a security risk… That’s just plain discriminatory BS that really made my blood boil… but instead of letting my temper get the better of me, I just went on my way and did what they asked. Rainbow told me that she’ll try to find a way to make up to me later, but right now, I just wanted her to have fun and not have it linger on my mind. Hell, I even gave my pass to a filly that wasn’t able to get inside the event because all of the passes were sold out by then.
Now though, a couple of hours has passed and honestly, I was bored out of my mind right now. Patiently waiting on both Rainbow and the Twins for when they were done with whatever they were doing inside. I remember her mentioning that Twilight wanted Rainbow to get a book signed for her, so if they were in line for that, then I’m probably going to be waiting a little longer than I originally thought.
Which, of course, was not quite easy in my current position. This city reminded me a lot of the neighborhood Ken and I lived in back home… which was both a good and a bad thing. Good because at least I was a little bit familiar with it… Bad because every once in awhile, you would have to watch your back to make sure you didn’t have anybody following you. It’s a subject that I was all too familiar with and also something that I rather not exactly talk about.
Some time though after Rainbow went into the convention with Fire and Thunder, I was surprised to find the three of them outside a few moments later. To me, there were inside a lot shorter than my original estimate. “Hey there, sorry for making you wait so long.”
I shrugged at that as I looked back at the three of them. “It’s alright. Did you guys have fun?” Both of the twins nodded their heads as they came back over to me and thanked me for allowing them the chance to go to the event. As for Rainbow, she also nodded her head, but then also said something.
“We had a blast! Oh and that reminds me of something… There’s somepony I would like you to meet.” Okay, I honestly didn’t expect that at first. Originally, when I heard that, I thought she meant a friend of hers or someone she met inside the convention to tell you the truth. But when we went down an alleyway into a nearby clearing, that’s when I was caught by surprise.
It was then that I saw a mare that… looked exactly like Daring Do. Clothes, mane, cutie mark, everything. For a moment, I thought it was someone cosplaying as Daring Do like Rainbow was doing today. But as it turns out, this was an entirely different case. “So this is your coltfriend, Rainbow… Daring Do, It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She stretched out her hoof and I shook it with an outstretched hand as I introduced myself to her. As it turns out, from what Rainbow told me, Daring Do is an actual pony and the author of her stories, A.K. Yearling uses her actual adventures to tell her stories. Both her and Twilight originally met Daring sometime back, but it seemed like this time around, only Rainbow and the Twins got pulled into the adventure this time around… along with someone named Quibble Pants, which seemed like a ridiculous name for a stallion personally.
After they were done explaining some things, I finally had the chance to speak. “Wow… that was very… eye opening… but what I’m confused about is what exactly brought you to a Daring Do convention in the first place. Was there something in particular that you were looking for?”
The explorer chuckled, looking back at me and smiling. “Actually, there was. Some guy name Dr. Caballeron was coming after me and looking for an artifact that I was going to bring to the Manehattan museum. Real jerk he was… fortunately, we not only made sure to deal with him, but also drive him crazy in the process with how I was able to hide in plain sight.”
That… had me a bit curious. “And how exactly were you able to do that?”
“The convention was full of ponies that were all dressed up as her,” Rainbow explained to me. “Because of that, the poor stallion couldn’t tell who was just an attendee of the convention and who was actually her.” Okay, I have to admit… that is pretty clever. Even for someone like me who doesn’t always have that many tricks or tools at my disposal, that was impressive in my book.
“Rainbow told me how you weren’t allowed into the convention today after everything you guys went through just to get your passes,” Daring Do then spoke up. “I honestly don’t know what would go through the minds of the stallions at the gate to not let you in. You seem like a nice guy… No wonder Rainbow likes you.”
“Why uh… Thanks.” I replied, a little bit nervous. I honestly did not know how to continue with what I was saying, but when I did try to speak, all of us could hear the sound of something loud ringing through the air. Almost as if it was a gunshot.
“What was that?” Rainbow asked, looking at me.
“Whatever it was, it sounded close by.” I replied, looking at them. “Not sure why someone would shoot someone at this time in the day, but until we know who it actually is, I would be a bit concerned-.”
“ARGH!! YOU STUPID-! RRRGH!!” That definitely sounded like a stallion in pain, but who it was really caught both Daring and Rainbow by surprise.
“Wait a second… that was Caballeron… What would he still be doing around here?” Rainbow asked.
“Only one way to find out… Just keep a low profile, he’s probably already seen you guys before.” Turning to the twins, they nodded their hands as both of them transformed into their weapon forms as I looked from the alleyway at a restaurant that was across the street while Daring and Rainbow watched from the rafters. There stood the same stallion from before… Just grasping his shoulder in pain.
“When I see your face again, I’ll-!!” That was when another shot was fired, but this time around his feet as someone walked out of the bar. But who it was seriously caught me off guard. It was actually a human… Someone that I recognized from when Ken and I would hang out back home. Now though, she was quite irritated with the stallion.
“You’ll do what, sugar? If you read the sign at the entrance, it clearly states that I have the right to refuse service to anyone… You were just a bit too b*tchy and threatened me in my joint… Big mistake… Now run along now before things get messy… or would you like me to place a hole in the other shoulder to even things out for you?” With that, the stallion immediately galloped off and ran down the street. The woman holstered her pistol in a side holster that read “Rubi” and then turned to where we were… smirking a little.
“You can come out now, Sugar… I don’t bite.” Okay, that’s something that Mad Moxxi would say for sure… and I have a feeling that this is going to be a long conversation.
Point of View: Ken
“So who is it that you are going to introduce me too, Kenny?” Tina asked me as we were now in a clearing outside Ponyville and not far from Sweet Apple Acres. She had a skip in her step on the way here and seemed pretty excited for what I had in store for her. Applejack wanted to go over to her home real fast in order to make sure that none of her family would flip at the sight of Revaan landing not far from their orchard.
“Well, he’s a friend of mine that’s been helping out a lot here and also is the reason for my arm… Have you heard the term Scalebound before?” Her response was a shake of the head as I smirked a little. “Well, a Scalebound is when someone forms a bond with a dragon. Their souls are connected to one another and also, my arm is a symbol of that bond. Now… the person I wanted to introduce you too… is that dragon.” With my right arm raised in the air, I had it glow for a short bit before I heard the beating of wings as the onyx dragon I knew came closer and closer before touching down.
“You called, Ken?” Revaan asked, but before he could speak again, we both heard Tina squeal in delight as she looked at both of us.
“That… is… AWESOME!!” She declared, trying to get a closer look at Revaan.
“Revaan… this is my cousin Tina-.” I explained to him shortly before I heard Tina clear her throat. Oh boy… looks like she’s going to be doing the introductions herself.
“Greetings fair dragon. I am known by many as Tiny Tina, some know me as Lady Tina of Blowupyourfaceheim, but you may call me Tina… Now, could you care to introduce yourself, Mr. Dragon?” I facepalmed myself during this as I looked back at her before turning to Revaan in the process.
“Don’t mind her… this is actually… normal for her.” I mentioned to him as he nodded his head.
“Very well… I’m Revaan… The last onyx dragon of my kind and Ken’s partner. I’m honored to meet another one of his family members like yourself after meeting Athena-.”
“Oooh! So you met Athena already now, have you?!” Tina interjected before looking back at both of us. “Isn’t she fine… as hell!? I mean, for being a gladiator and everything, she must be doing some serious cardio in order to keep that body in shape!” That just had Revaan look at me again with another confused glance as I looked at him.
“Like I saw… this is normal. She means well though, that’s for sure.” I told him, who replied with a nod of the head as he turned to notice Applejack… along with her older brother Big Mac walking right next to her. Yet before I got the chance to say hello or even introduce Tina to AJ’s brother… someone else spoke up.
“HOLY F**KS**T!!! IS IT JUST ME OR IS THERE A GIANT F**KING DRAGON RIGHT THERE!?!” Oh great… Why do I have a bad feeling that someone’s going to do something crazy-?
“WHHHEEEEEEEEEE!!!” Oh right, I almost forgot about Orendi… crap. “Why aren’t you on fire right now!” Revaan sighed, catching Orendi in the air so she wouldn’t have to throw herself into a tree or anything too severe… but that seemed to backfire almost immediately. “Somebody HELP MEEEEEEE!!!”
Revaan set her down not far where Tina and I were just as Asphyxious soon showed up… almost dead exhausted again. “I am… So sorry, she got… away from me.” He gasped.
“Sorry, I have a hard time controlling myself.” Clover now spoke as she pulled the large hat over her head with all four of her hands. “Sometimes I get really excited.”
“Apology accepted.” I replied back, along with Tina jumping up onto Orendi’s shoulders and trying to snuggle her. “Just… did Mr. Torgue happen to be with you?”
“Who-?” Before Mac could even ask, the same person I was talking about made his dramatic entrance… with an explosion and air guitar solo included.
“MEEEEEDLYMEEEEEDLYMOWW!! I’M HERE!!! AND HOLY S**T, THAT IS ONE MASSIVE DRAGON… NO INNUENDO INTENDED!!!” Mr. Torgue yelled.
“I’ve seen bigger.” Asphyxious replied as he was catching his breath.
“OKAY, THAT ONE SEEMED INTENTIONAL!!” Good lord, I really feel like smacking myself in the face for all the shenanigans that have happened so far. It’s not even past noon and things are getting crazy.
“Lets rock!” Yelled Orendi as she struck a pose. “GRAB THESE MANY, MANY ARMS!”
“I’M LIKING HER ALREADY!!! FRIENDZONED!!!!” Someone please, for the love of god, smack some sense into them…
“Your angany is BORING!” It took a LONG while to try and get everyone to calm down, along with explaining to both Big Mac and Revaan about… well, pretty much everyone at this rate. Asphyxious, Orendi, Tina and Mr. Torgue… but I had a feeling that I may be missing out on someone…
Anyways, I just focused on the subject at hand in order to give Tina and Mr. Torgue a rundown about my arm, Revaan and I along with answering any questions that they had… but just as I was about to answer them, I heard a new voice approach us. “Oh my… starting something without me, Sugar?”
“Oh my so many displaced gods.” Asphyxious said as his jaw dropped.
“MOXXI!!!” Torgue shouted, followed by Tina bolting from Orendi and leaping towards the newest arrival. “Mama!!”
“I’ve dreamed about this for ten MINUTES!” Orendi yelled joining in on the hug.
“…… Is it just me or did Tina just call her Mama?” Revaan pointed out, catching my attention rather immediately as I sighed.
“You do realize what that means right?” I asked him, causing the dragon to look back at Asphyxious, AJ and Big Mac before returning his gaze to me. “Moxxi there is my aunt… I already said that Mr. Torgue is my uncle and Tina is my cousin. Not to mention that Athena is my mother.”
Asphyxious passed out and fell onto the ground shortly after I explained that to him. Orendi quickly went over to him and started poking her brother, who then started laughing shortly afterwards. “More fire! Wait no, his needs help! No he needs his guts cuddled! I always said that I wanted to marry him, but now I may never get the chance!!!” Woah woah woah… what… the hell?
“Okay… What just happened?” Asphyxious asked after setting up after five seconds.
“NOTHING!!!” Clover yelled before hiding behind Moxxi. That for sure didn’t sound like nothing… especially if she was hiding out of embarrassment. Anyways, I just ignored that and gave Asphyxious a hand to help him up as I turned towards… the group. Hopefully, we don’t have anymore unexpected arrivals in the meantime. Because I had a LOT of explaining to do in that moment… especially since I still had to take everything I just told Mac and Tiny Tina… and explain that to both Moxxi and Mr. Torgue… well, this was going to take a while. That’s for sure.
“Well, to get straight to the point before any of you ask about him, Revaan and I are partners and our souls are bound to one another. I’m trying to help him restore what remains of his family while he helps me protect what we have. Not to mention that any pain we feel is shared between us.”
“Oh my,” I heard Moxxi gasp in surprise. “I didn’t think that both of you would be… connected this way. Surely there are some… benefits with this partnership, am I right?” Okay, I understood the meaning of her question, but were the innuendos really necessary at this point?
“He got cool dragon armor.” Asphyxious answer the question without a second thought. For a moment, I decided to humor and show them for a quick second to demonstrate what I mean before returning back to normal. I wanted to demonstrate as well that I could use my arm to yank him over and smack him over the head for that, but restrained myself from doing so.
Instead, I just gave a few simple key notes. Mostly on my arm, powers and other things. I didn’t want to get too complicated with explaining things such as my dragon arms, pulses, summoning tokens or anything like that. Only the basics for the time being. Afterwards though, both my aunt and uncle seemed rather surprised… and impressed. “Why that is quite impressive… As much as I would like to stick around though, I need to go back to my bar in Manehattan. I have a business to run and I rather not have my customers get cranky… Can you do me one favor though and keep an eye on Tina?”
“Uh, I thought that Mr. Torgue was gonna keep an eye on her…” Applejack pointed out. “I believe that is the case, right?”
“YEAH, BUT I’M GOING BACK TO WORK WITH MOXXI AND BE PRO BONER!!!” Did… he just… oh god, why?!!
“Uh… sugar, the phrase is ‘pro bono’.” Moxxi told him.
“ISN’T THAT WHAT I JUST SAID!?!”
Asphyxious didn’t say anything as he facepalmed, as Clover giggled. Aaron herself also facepalmed too and I watched as Tina was actually chuckling to that. “Well, with that I guess we’re off. Take care now sugar… Come visit us sometime.” With that, Moxxi waved goodbye while also blowing a kiss and giving a seductive wink towards us… I’m not sure if that’s exactly part of her act… but it seemed to directly impact Asphyxious like he was in her line of fire… Oh god, was he blushing right now?
“Well, I guess we should be going.” Asphyxious said and started to walk away. “I have to much to do and plan to die with a smile on my face.”
“Uh… You say that you plan to die… yet you are a Lich from what I hear…” Aaron pointed out. “That seems kind of hypocritical to me.”
“Just… don’t question it.” Revaan advised him. “There are a lot of displaced in the universe and many with their own methods and reasons for doing things. It’s just how things work for them.”
“... Eh, what the hell? Whatever works… Oh and Ken, I was wondering. How is it with raising your two youngsters?” Aaron asked… which caught Asphyxious’ and Clover’s attention in the process. But thankfully, Tina did not hear that.
“You have kids now? Cool.” Asphyxious said before pulling up a soul cage and looking at it. I smirked at him in response, but I was surprised that he didn’t want to inquire more about Ruby and Magma. I would think that with him at least being a father himself, he would try to give me parenting advice or something-. “Here a tip, watch out when they turn into their teens, They start to hoard and/or seeking a mate.”
And there it is… dammit, why did I need to hear that!?! “Because you don’t want to go through half the crazy stuff I have.” Asphyxious replied. I guess he made a solid point there… but how the hell did he know what I was-... Oh god, don’t tell me he pulled the same thing Caster’s Celestia did to me in her world, did he?
“Yeah… I’m going to go before Fire and Thunder start asking too many questions about almost everything they heard today,” Aaron replied, having both of his weapons turn back into their original forms as the meister and both of the twins walked back towards Twilight’s castle. Despite the fact that he literally walked in front of the lich when both of his weapons took their pony forms, Asphyxious didn’t say anything… maybe the thought of parenthood was took stuck on his mind in order to process anything else right now. Ehh, roll with it. Hopefully Tina didn’t hear anything about our conversation or-.
“You have BABIES!?!” Out of nowhere, Tina jumped onto Asphyxious’ back, almost like she wanted the Dracolich to give her a piggyback ride… either that or she wanted to make herself look like a human backpack on the back of Asphyxious. “I wanna see!! Can I!? CAN I?!!! I promise that I won’t eat them!!”
“YOU EAT BABIES!?!” Clover screamed before yelling. “CHAOS FIRE!”
“Wait!” Asphyxious yelled as he was almost set on fire.
“I was KIDDING girl… I’m not uncivilized!!” Tina replied, “It’s part of my personality… Now come on, Kenny!! I need you to help me set up Tina’s workshop!!!” Oh boy… I honestly did not think that the last thing the hollow would need would be the world's deadliest 13 year old setting up an explosives workshop in there. Especially with Pinkis going through the later stages of her pregnancy.
“Alright… Just please don’t cause a scene when we get there. The last thing I need is noise complaints about hearing explosions at three o’clock in the morning.” I replied as Tina decided to hop onto my back now as Revaan flew back to the temple.
“Okay, girl… no promises though… naptime!” With that, Tina fell asleep on my shoulders as I now had the obligation to carry her all the way back to the hollow… something tells me that the rest of my afternoon is going to be booked because of this.
End Chapter 26
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well that went from zero to a hundred in a hurry.
storage.googleapis.com/imgfave/image_cache/1371162825484493_tall.jpg
Well, that was fucking crazy.
7618560 Trust me... wait til guys night happens
7618611 ... Crap. At least you won't have to worry about a certain Doom Marine being there. Otherwise, we'll all have a problem.
7618745 don't jinx it. i think master chief is better suited.
7729886 Fuck, don't remind me! And looks who's jinxing us now!
Oh god, this chapter had me busting a gut!
Good, but I've been noticing that you use the words, "Now though," "As for right now," and a few other transitional phrases way too much throughout all your stories. Plus, the tone of all your character's thoughts and mannerisms are much too similar. Try using different words to give them all unique quirks and personalities.
Still quite good as always, however.