28- A Role Playing Game
Bound by Scales- A Role Playing Game
Point of View: Ken
“Woah, woah woah… Did you just say Lord Death, sugarcube?” Applejack spoke up, just as surprised as I was on the subject. I knew that Aaron was a meister and also was displaced as Kilik from Soul Eater, but I honestly did not think it go as far as having Lord Death appear in the reflection of a mirror. Directly in front of all of us for that matter. It surprised all of us, but had Tina hide behind me a little bit because of how she was caught off guard by his sudden appearance.
“Yes, yes, that is me. You do realize that I can hear all of you, right?” The Shinigami spoke up in response as he turned towards Aaron. “Anyways, what is it that you called upon me for, Mr. Kalik?” It was during this time that I heard Aaron and him talking a bit in private, but I did manage to overhear some key elements to their conversation. Mostly focused on Aaron trying to hunt down kishin eggs in order for Fire and Thunder to truly become Death Weapons. From what I remember on Soul Eater, this would be tricky because not only would the weapon need 99 Kishin eggs, which is another way to says souls of evil individuals, but also the soul of a Witch. And that’s just for one weapon. He needed double the amount for both of them.
“So how many souls do you have right now?” Lord Death then asked Aaron, which caught everyone’s attention.
“Well, I would say thirty for both of them. I needed to ask for your help in locating a good place to get the rest along with that of a witch-.” There conversation was interrupted the second that they heard somepony else speak up.
“Okay, wait just a minute. What the hay are you talking about with souls?” Rainbow Dash blurted out, which in turn lead to Applejack facehooving herself and Twilight sighing a bit.
“Well here’s the thing. Fire and Thunder are both known as Demon Weapons,” He said, pointing to both of them nearby. “But in order to get stronger and reach their full potential, they need to collect 99 souls of evil individuals and also the soul of a witch. Then, they can be grow and be just as strong as some of Ken’s weapons.”
“And what exactly is Lord Death’s role in this?” Luna then asked, looking back at the Shinigami with narrowed eyes.
“My purpose is to make sure I help Aaron as a meister. He needs to make sure that the souls of those who would do harm to you and your sister’s subjects are put down and dealt with. Your sister is a goddess of the sun and you are a goddess of the moon. I’m the gatekeeper of the afterlife and watcher of the souls in the world.” He said before turning to Aaron. “Is there anything else that you need to discuss with me, Mr Kalik?” Aaron himself shook his head in response before Lord Death took the chance to say goodbye. With that though, Applejack decided to stay with me so she didn’t have the thought of meeting a Grim Reaper lurking in the back of her mind while Tina skipped on over back to her workshop and Aaron went to talk with both Rainbow and Luna.
Twilight though… was a different story. “What-!? How-?! I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!”
That just caused me to roll my eyes as I looked back at Applejack for a moment. “So… How about we go check on Pinkis and the girls? I wonder what they’ve been up too since we’ve last seen them.”
“Ken, we last saw them two days ago, it’s not like they would be doing much over a short amount of time.” Applejack told me as we began to walk to Pinkis’ room. Though, there was another thought in my mind that I wanted to discuss.
“True, but with the fact that the three of us are getting married, we still need to plan a few things, including the fact that you and her would probably want to have a Bridal/Baby shower for Pinkis.” I reminded her. We had decided for the name of the foal to be “Candy Apple” based on the traditional treat handed out by the Apple Family on Nightmare Night. It was originally just a suggestion, but the name stuck and we went with it.
“You bring up a valid point, Ken,” Applejack mentioned to her as she turned to face me for a moment. “Hay, I think both Mac and Spike were wanting to set up a guys night or something like that, so maybe if you talk with them, they can have you join them.” I liked the thought of that and getting the chance to hang out with them more, but I wanted to make sure I focus on Applejack and Pinkis before anything like that. After all, the old saying was ladies first and right now, I wanted to make sure AJ and Pinkis got the chance to talk about planning their special event first before I was going to do anything else.
Just as we were talking about it, we soon reached the door to Pinkis’ room and I knocked on it a couple of times to be polite and see if she would respond. To my surprise, Pinkis didn’t respond. Instead, another Displaced opened it. Or I assumed she was one. She has blue hair, brown eyes, and had a pair of tiny wings on her back.
“Oh,” she started, surprised. “You must be Ken. Sorry to intrude on your house, I was just helping Pinkis with something.”
“No no, it’s okay,” I assured… whoever she was to be honest with you. “Applejack and I were stopping by to see how she’s doing… I’m not sure that we’ve met before. What’s your name?”
“My name’s Subaru. I’m a friend of Brutalight and Pinkis.” She said. I noticed she was a lot smaller than me, even for a human girl, she barely reached my stomach. And my god, she looked rather cute for her small size.
“It’s a pleasure to meet ya, Subaru.” Applejack then spoke up, tipping her hat as a friendly gesture before looking around a bit. “We were coming over to see how Pinkis was doing and ah wanted to get the chance to talk to her and Brutalight for a moment.”
“Brutalight is tied up at the moment on an assignment and Pinkis is dealing with food that won’t stay in.” Subaru said, her face giving me nothing to work off of and also leaving me confused with what she said. Though, AJ seemed to pick up on something and come up with a follow up question in response.
“What? Ya mean Pinkis has morning sickness or something?” Applejack then asked, raising an eyebrow as she looked back at Subaru.
“Pregnancy comes with many pains. And for a gluttonous mare like Pinkis, this will most likely be the result of her eating something that her baby doesn’t agree with.” Subaru replied, explaining to us what was going on in a short summary. I looked back at Applejack for a minute and she gave me a reassuring nod as I looked back at Subaru.
“Is there anything we can do at all to help her? Applejack was originally coming by so she could talk with Pinkis about possibly setting up a baby shower soon, but we want to make sure that she’s feeling okay first.” I explained to her. “Does she need company?”
“No, she’s fine. It’s a temporary annoyance.” Subaru stated calmly. “Once she’s feeling better, I’ll tell her to meet with you.”
“Can we see her now or is she restin’?” Applejack then asked, curious as to what Subaru would say in response. Both she and I care for Pinkis… a lot. From the looks of things though, AJ was trying to find out what would be the earliest opportunity for her to check in on her.
“It’s not a pretty sight, but you can now. She’s just vomiting in the toilet.” If that wasn’t apparent enough, then the smell was. But, if it gives us the chance to see her, a little bit of a mess wouldn’t exactly be the biggest of issues that we’ve had to deal with. We’ve overcome many obstacles before and this is no exception. Besides, how bad of a mess could it be?
The bathroom floor and walls were covered in blood and green slime… Pinkis was slumped over on the toilet seat while she groaned. It was not a pretty sight… hell, it would be more of a sight that would cause Rarity to either pass out or run out of the house to get something to clean up the mess. Though, it didn’t seem like Applejack was distracted by the mess at all. She wasn’t even grossed out by it. Subaru appeared next to me wearing a gas mask and holding up a grocery bag filled with cleaning supplies in one hand and held a mop in the other.
“She might be finished. I’ll begin cleanup of the contamination once she’s out.” Subaru stated, though it was muffled. Just as she started to walk over though was when Applejack moved over and held out a hoof to Pinkis, offering to help her up.
“Need a hoof there, sugarcube?” She asked, catching her attention pretty quickly as she looked up to face both AJ and I.
“Yeah…” Pinkis said simply. Her eyes were puffy and her muzzle was covered in bile, which gave her a feeble look. Applejack wasn’t fazed by that though and trotted over, picking up one side of her over her front left shoulder while I helped carry her back over to her bed. Applejack also managed to get a paper towel, which she handed to me so we can wipe up her face a little and make her look a bit better.
“How’s it been? We already met Subaru, but I want to hear how everything's been going for ya recently.” Applejack then asked, trying to comfort Pinkis.
“It’s a pain…” Pinkis grunted. As I looked at her, I noticed she was showing much more. “Brutalight’s been babying me, Rainbine’s left the gang, and Rarifruit’s gone on a wild goose chase. And as for my pregnancy, I’ve been getting hungrier and I haven’t been able to do anything fun.”
“Sorry to hear that… Hey, ah’m gonna stop by the orchard later. Would ya like for me ta bring ya some apples?” Applejack asked out of curiosity. However, I was surprised to hear about her friends. Just why would Rainbine leave? And what was Rarifruit up to?
“I’d like that…” Pinkis replied gratefully. From the corner of my eye I saw Subaru mopping up the floor in the bathroom like her life depended on it. Almost like if Rarity needed to clean out her boutique in a frantic rush… well, according to what AJ told me one time.
“Ah know we’ve been a bit busy, but we’re here for ya Pinkis. In fact, ah was thinking about the possibility that we may want ta hold a baby shower to celebrate… Nothing fancy, just us and a few friends. Like a girls night.” AJ replied to her, kissing her on the forehead. “How does that sound?”
“It sounds good, but I’ve never met any of your friends… What if they don’t like me?” Pinkis asked, shrinking in place.
“Ah already told them about ya and a few of my friends are looking forward to the day that they’ll get the chance to meet ya in person. Nothing ta worry about, Pinkis.” She assured her.
“Okay… I’ve never been to a baby shower, so I’ll mostly be following your lead.” Pinkis said with a small smile.
“It’s not a formal event or anything, sugarcube. Just your friends gettin’ the chance ta meet mine.” Applejack told her, rubbing her shoulders with a hoof. “Now, hows our little Candy Apple doing?”
“She’s a picky little brat, I can tell you that.” Pinkis said dryly. “I can’t eat half of my diet without it coming back up. But Apple Pills says she’s healthy.”
“That’s good to hear,” I replied in response, taking the chance to feel her belly as I felt a small bump. “Heh… I think it kicked me.”
“She.” Pinkis corrected. “You’re not going to call my baby an ‘it’.” Both AJ and I looked at each other for a moment before looking back at Pinkis. Last time we talked with her, we never knew what the gender was for the child. Now we know that it’s going to be a girl… and we couldn’t be more happier.
“I’m sorry Pinkis, we didn’t know…” Applejack said, before taking the moment to hug Pinkis in excitement. “But ah can’t believe that our little foal’s gonna be a filly! I’m so happy for us right now, Pinkis!” I was really happy for the both of them too, but I didn’t really wanna ruin the moment right now.
“It only makes sense.” Pinkis said simply with a shrug. “So Applejack, I wouldn’t suppose bringing Shout and Pills along for the baby shower would be a good idea, right?”
“We’re going to have ta talk it over with Brutalight and see what she thinks.” Applejack told her. “Ah believe she can easily help us with organizing this.”
“She’ll be gone for awhile.” We heard Subaru say as we saw her exit the bathroom while stretching her arms. “She’s going to register for a school.”
That… initially surprised me for a brief moment because I originally thought that Brutalight was trying to register for a school here in this world. But then, it hit me. There was only one possible place I knew that Displaced could go and learn not just about themselves, but also what they can do as well. Plus, I did recommend it to a few of the Displaced I had met previously. “Would you happen to be talking about Beacon Academy, Subaru?”
“Yes, although I suggested against it, Brutalight thought that it would be a good way to make new connections since she lost most of hers after the War of Shadows. Nobody takes her seriously anymore after what the master did was revealed. They all think she acts like a child, so she wanted to make a new start.” Subaru explained. “I think it’s pointless, though. Beacon seems to stand for heroism, and the Empire doesn’t believe in such things.”
“Maybe she’s looking for a new start,” I told her in response as I turned to face her. “Or maybe she’s wanting to meet new people. Either way, you should at least give her a chance.”
“Like I said, she’s on an assignment. Our new Lord decided that it would be a good idea to assess any threats to the Empire. So anyone who would have a reason to attack us could be dealt with.” That just made things even more tricky, but I tried to play it out the best I could in that moment.
“Are you referring to Time Spinner or that Darth Fol… something?” I asked, wanting to make sure I knew who I was talking about. “Don’t get me wrong, I never really got involved in the war, but I was able to meet Pinkis and the rest of the elements of insanity because of the christmas party that was held during the War of Shadows.”
“Time Spinner’s dead, and Folteren left. We work for someone else.” Subaru stated simply. “All you need to know is that Brutalight is busy. Now, I must leave.” That just left me even more puzzled as I looked back at her. We did manage to say goodbye to her though as she walked out the door. I wanted to wish her and Brutalight good luck with… well, whatever they were doing, but she was in and out of the room quicker than Rainbow Dash if she was in a hurry.
“Subaru’s only known the Empire.” Pinkis explained. “She’s a tactical advisor. Only one left after two of them went missing.”
“She seems kind enough, that’s for sure,” AJ replied as she turned to Pinkis and I. “I’m grateful for her being able to help you out when she gets the chance. Makes things around here a bit easier.” I could agree with that for sure. Not only have both Applejack and I been helping out around the hollow, but the townsfolk have also been pretty warm and welcoming to every new visitor that we get. Whether it was someone totally new or a displaced that we’ve met before, everyone always seemed to help and that was… definitely nice.
“She’s not always here. I usually have the others but I needed her on such short notice.” Pinkis stated. “Let me go clean up.”
“Ah can help ya if ya want, Sugarcube. No need ta try and do everything on yer own.” Applejack offered for her. “Better yet, Ken can help ya and ah can swing by the orchard and get the apples ya wanted.”
“Sure thing,” I told her, being agreeable and letting Applejack have the opportunity to get those apples she wanted to grab while I helped Pinkis out. I got some paper towels from the bathroom and then walked back over to where she was sitting. “Alright, where to start…”
“Face.” Pinkis replied plainly. I nodded my head and used the first paper towel sheet to clean the mess off of her face and some of the stickiness that still remained in her fur a little bit so that way it didn’t bug her. Though, I was only able to get one side of her face for she had her head at an angle.
“Hey, can you move your head to the right a little so I can get the other side of your face?” I asked politely, not wanting to sound like I was ordering her or anything like that. Pinkis obeyed silently, turning her face so I can clean the other side of it easily and with no problems. “There we go. Your face is good as new.”
“Thanks. My mane should be next.” Pinkis stated, allowing for me to use another towel to clean up the last of the mess that happened to get soaked there. Even if most of her mane was already clean. “The rest you should take care of now.”
That… had me confused. “The rest… of what? Forelegs, body… anywhere specific?” I asked, trying to get some context clues as to what I had to do next.
“Just clean me, damnit. I wanted my mane and head taken care of first. Just clean top to bottom.” Pinkis said, sounding annoyed.
“Okay, okay, sorry about that.” I apologized. I was a little startled by her change in tone, almost intimidated really. But I got to making sure the rest of her was cleaned up from top to bottom as requested. It took some time, but I was able to pull it off. Not to mention that when I was done, Applejack had finally come back with the apples she went to get.
“Ah’m back!” She declared, carrying a basket with her tail and setting it on the nightstand. “Got some juicy apples and a few other treats to have as well. Apple Turnovers, Pie. Ya name it, it’s there sugarcube.”
“Thanks.” Pinkis said before jumping out of the shower. “I kinda want something plain, though…”
“Well, ah can help ya with that.” Applejack insisted before looking at me. “Ya want Ken to stick around some more because ah can take it from here if ya want, Sugarcube.”
“I don’t really care.” Pinkis sighed as she looked back at the both Applejack and I. Looking back at me, Applejack herself nodded her head and then took off her hat to set it on the coatrack by the door before looking back at me.
“Ah think we can handle ourselves for right now.” Applejack told the both of us. “If anything does crop up, we’ll let ya know alright?”
“Sure thing, AJ.” I told her, walking out the door and saying goodbye to both of them as I made my way back to the temple grounds. Funny thing was, as soon as I got back, I happened to notice Spike carrying a few things with him as he made his way to the portal that connected the temple to Twilight’s Castle. Though, what interested me the most was actually what he was carrying.
A couple of figurines… and some multi-sided die. Yeah, I know my fair share of tabletop games back on earth, but I had no idea that Spike actually took an interest in that sort of thing. Of course, I didn’t exactly play dungeons and dragons back home, but what got me familiarized with the content was actually Borderlands 2. One of the DLC packs for the game actually puts a twist on the idea of tabletop gaming, but also had a very powerful ending… I’ll just leave it at that for now.
Though it was only after I saw Spike though that I actually saw Tina running after him… all the while carrying a board game box. Why do I have a feeling that this is going to turn out the way I think it’s going to be? Well, I guess the only way of finding out for myself is to follow them and see where they’re going and what exactly are they up too. Can’t be too bad, right?
So I crossed over there and lo & behold, it turns out Spike and Tina aren’t exactly the only ones at Twilight’s Castle. Aaron was there along with Shayne and Aurox, AJ’s brother and even some weird dragon… chimera… lizard thing. I’m not quite sure who or what exactly it is, but I’ve seen a lot of sh*t and I rather not question this.
“Oh hey, you came!” Tina then spoke up, setting the board game she was holding onto on top of the table. “I was going to do this whole thing where I had Revy try to have you run over here like something urgent was going on, but you just… showed up! We’re glad you came though.”
I raised an eyebrow at that, looking back at my cousin in confusion as I looked back at Spike, Aaron, Shayne and Aurox. “Okay, what do you mean by that?”
“Well, Aaron told us about how busy you’ve been with everything from handling the hollow to your relationship with Applejack and thought you can have some fun to get your mind off of things.” Spike then spoke up. “That’s when Tina overheard us talking and she got an idea for a game to play.”
Oh boy… I only have one idea of where this might be going. “I’m interested. What’s the game?” That’s when Tina hopped up on a throne by the map/table and soon announced to us what her idea was.
“Welcome, fine ladies, to your first session of the most coolestest game in the world… BUNKERS AND BADASSES!” Wait, she actually has that?! Since when?! “As the Bunker Master for the evening… in which I already called dibs, I will be weaving your tale of fantasy and-.”
“Wait, why exactly are we playing a kids game again?” The chaotic looking creature then asked, interrupting Tina in the middle of her dramatic narrative.
“Oh, you know maybe because SHUT THE HELL UP, DISSY!!”
“Tina…” Aaron spoke up, looking back at the creature who did speak. “She’s right though, Discord. You might want to just let Tina do her thing.” Oh so he’s Discord! I heard that name mentioned a few times before around the hollow, but never knew that it actually belonged to a person to be honest.
“So to sum things up, while the princess of this castle and her friends are on travel I thought we could play a game,” Tina replied, setting down a couple of figurines, including one that resembled what Spike was holding. “Now, based on what Spikey and Mac & Cheese already told me, they have two characters eager to get started. So, Shayney and Aaron are going to be out here with me while Dissy and Kenny join them. He already has his character and I was able to make this one just for you!” Just as she finished talking, I noticed her put down a figurine that… wait a minute, that looks exactly like me. Did she go out of her way to make me a character for this game based on myself… Tina, you are seriously the best cousin that anyone could have asked for.
“Wait, hold on… what do you mean by join them?” Shayne then asked, which now caught my attention too.
“Pah, why spoil all the fun for you, spoilsport!” She teased, rolling something up in her hands as I noticed Discord preparing to snap a… talon or something. “Now then, there’s only one thing left to do… ROLL FOR INITIATIVE, SUCKAS!!!”
Just as she said that, Discord snapped his talon and a bright light went off in the room, forcing me to cover my eyes with my arm so that way I didn’t get blinded. But that’s things got even… weirder. Because the next thing I knew, I didn’t find myself in Twilight’s Castle, but instead on a wooden boat. That’s when I notice something around me that really stood out. Well, several things.
First, on that boat was Spike dressed in a outfit of a traveling mage while Big Mac had a suit of armor, a sword and a Unicorn horn. My only guess for that was so that he could use magic to hold the sword. Second, there was Discord… who really decided to go all J.R.R. Tolkien by having himself take on the form of Legolas. Blond hair and elf ears included. “Welcome, everypony!”
“O… kay, I’ve only met you for two minutes and now I have multiple questions I want to ask.” I responded, just as Spike got up to his feet and Mac got up on his hooves.
“Well, let me try to simplify things. I, Discord, the Spirit of Chaos, used my chaos magic to allow ourselves to be able to physically take part in the… tale of fantasy that the Bunker Master decided to weave. Your friends will be helping her with the story and also what we should do while we get the chance to slay monsters and have fun as the story unfolds… Oh and from this point on, you’re following the names of your characters.”
“Wait, what-?” I was only able to process that for just a minute before I looked to see a small card in my hand that had a word on it. The name Kendov, which stood for warrior in the dragon language. I had a positive feeling that this was possibly my character name in Tina’s game. On the backside was also three other names. Sir McBiggun, Garbuckle (which I assumed was Spike because the name reminded me of one other dragon I rather not remember) and… hang on. Did Discord seriously decide to call himself Captain Wuzz?
“As a matter of fact I did, thank you very much!” I heard him say, causing my eyes to widen and for me to raise an eyebrow in response. “And yes, to clarify, I was talking to you Kendov.” Oh so the games starting… if that’s the case, then what do I have in my inventory? I took the moment to look, only to realize that the weapons I would normally be able to conjure were on me right now, but only a few. Those few weapons being my dual swords, bow and arrow and lastly, Hawkmoon. However, some items like my dragon arms I could not access after trying to summon them, only to be unsuccessful. Which did seem reasonable. No one would want any character starting the game to be insanely overpowered right from the beginning. That would just be cheating.
Spike and Mac were going to say something next, but they were interrupted by the boat we were on pulling into the harbor as we all heard Tina’s voice. “You arrive at the docks to Flamerock Refuge… this place used to be really nice… until the ‘Handsome Sorcerer’ messed everything up.” At this point, I realized that I still had my ECHO device… and it was not only transcribing and recording everything that Tina said… but also making sure to keep track of different objectives. “What will you do now?”
“Well…” Spike- er, I mean Garbuckle, now spoke up. “I say we should go find this town and investigate the cause for everything being messed up then. Seems reasonable, wouldn’t you guys think?”
“I highly doubt it is given all the sunshine and rainbows that are around us,” The draconequus ranger next to me spoke up as we all proceeded off of the boat towards what the bunker master called the ‘Sandbar of Infrequent Walks’... AKA, the beach. “I mean, just-.”
“It’s a lovely day in Flamerock Refuge where-.”
“Wait a minute Tina,” We all then heard Shayne interject as her voice echoed this time around. “Didn’t you say that the Handsome Sorcerer messed up the town? Why would everything be ‘lovely’?” We heard a brief pause for a moment before something dramatic then took place… well, dramatic for everypony else. I… sort of knew this was coming.
“I-- whoops. What I MEANT to say is that it’s eternal night…” The scenery around us was then turned completely on it’s head as everything turned out to be a little more… creepier. Heck, even Garbuckle was shivering. “… And there’s spooky music… And the whole area kind of smells like butts and dead people.” For a moment, I thought she was joking around… then the stench caught all of us by surprise.
“Oh dear goddess, that smell!” Sir McBiggun was the first to comment. However, before I could come up with anything to say was when the archer said a witty remark.
“This whole area just reeks of butts and dead people!” We all turned towards him shortly after that and watched as he shrugged his shoulders. “What? Someone had to say it eventually.” I facepalmed myself in response, looking at everyone else before then interjecting.
“Well, if that’s a sign for anything, then we need to be careful on our way to wherever this town is,” I said, turning to my left and noticing something in the distance. “The port city for this place looks to be nearby. Let’s make our way over there, but keep your guard up… Who knows what kind of monsters the Sorcerer could summon to block our path.” Garbuckle and McBiggun nodded in agreement and Captain Wuzz had his bow ready for in case we came across any trouble. Though, he did seem skeptical to the possibility of coming across enemies this early in the game.
And just as we started going through the beach, several skeleton ponies were then summoned to the field. Equipped with swords, shields, bows, and even axes. “Suddendly, you’re attacked by a horde of skellymen… pony… whatever… they start shooting at you!”
“Here we go!” With that, Wuzz started firing arrows at some of the archers near the back of the horde while McBiggun and I used our swords to combat the gladiators. Garbuckle stayed next to Wuzz and used some fire magic on any of the remaining skeletons that might get the jump on us if our backs were turned. Farther through the mess, I switched to Hawkmoon in one hand with a blade in the other just in case any of them got too close to me.
We continued moving through any obstacles that we’re thrown at us in this fashion… until Tina decided to throw a curveball at us. “You and your companions get closer to the entrance of Flamerock Refuge, but suddendly…” That was followed by all four of us hearing a-. Wait a minute, that roar just now sounded WAY too familiar… That was when I turned around and-. What the-!? Revaan?! When did he get-. “The Handsome Sorcerer’s pet dragon appears! SURPRISE ATTACK!!” Are you freaking kidding me?! That’s beyond messed up Tina!!
Startled, Captain Wuzz tried shooting it with some of his arrows, but they did not reach it’s target. “You try to harm it, but your attacks do NOTHING!!” Just as the dragon flies over us, it lands on the gate and stares us down. “The dragon attacks and…” One roll of the dice later and we’re all doused in flames. “CRITICAL HIT!!”
“GREAT… ARE WE FINISHED?” We all heard Aurox grumble.
“Tina, uh… you can’t start your campaign with a boss fight that players can’t win.” Shayne reminded her. “And why does that dragon look like Revaan?”
“Mmm… touche… I was originally going to have it where the Scalebound’s backstory was that the Sorcerer had possessed his dragon and forced him to be his pet and see Kendov as the enemy so his reasons for being in the party other than to help his companions is to free his friend from the Sorcerer’s evil clutches…” We heard Tina mutter to herself as we were fighting for our life on the beachhead. “But anyways, everyone back up!”
The instant she said that, all of us were back on our feet and the wounds we previously had were gone in an instant. Leaving some of us startled, yet Captain Wuzz was a bit confused. “Okay, who used a Mega Phoenix Down on the entire party?” Wrong game, Captain. Wrong game.
“Okay, how about a new boss… He’s a… Skeleton.” We all heard the sound of the nearby gate rattling like a cage trying to keep an untamed animal locked up that wanted to be free. I armed myself with Hawkmoon while everyone else was sure to have their weapons unsheathed and their abilities at the ready. “And his name is…… Misterrr…… Boney…… Pants… guy?” Why did I have a feeling that this was going to happen? … And please tell me that we are not going to have to fight Asphyxious.
That was when the gate fell over and more skeleton ponies showed up… along with one that was smaller than the other ones and actually had a mane along with carrying a spiked mace in a magical grip… So definitely not Asphyxious. “I AM MISTER BONEY PANTS GUY!! RARRRR!!”
“Okay, does anypony actually have a plan with this guy!?” Garbuckle yelled, casting a wall of fire on the ground to get them to back up, only for some of the skeletons with broadsword to leap through the fire and run towards him. McBiggun put himself between them and the spellcaster, using his sword to smash them apart.
“If we separate the other monsters from the boss and take them down first, then we can focus on the boss together!” I heard the warrior call out before turning to me. “Cover Captain Wuzz! I’ll help Garbuckle!”
“On it!” I responded, using my arm in order to pull myself over to where the ranger was and then using both of my blades to slice and dice at the undead that were coming after both Wuzz and Garbuckle as the two of us cut down their numbers. Though, we needed to keep moving and not stay in one spot so the boss didn’t get too close to attack us either.
Once the other skeletons were cleared out, we all focused his fire on the skeleton that was the boss. It was true that he had a high amount of health and can dish out a lot of damage, but there was only one of him… and four of us. Soon, McBiggun and I were able to cut off the skeleton pony’s forelegs while Wuzz and Garbuckle made the rest of the skeleton explode when the wizard enchanted the archer’s arrows to be flaming arrows.
And the moment that Mister Boney Pants Guy was no more and exploded into a bunch of loot and other items for us to pick up, including arrows for Wuzz, we soon heard Tina speak up once again. “Alriiiiiight! The road to Flamerock Refuge is open! You should go there… Go go go.”
“So they can’t explore the rest of the area right now?” Shayne then asked as we pushed our way through the abandoned village on the coast towards a huge door in the distance.
“We can come back later. Right now, let’s just roll with it and see how this play’s out.” I heard Aaron respond to her just as we approached the door and we were allowed inside. There was a small tunnel that we had to navigate before we were finally able to enter the actual village itself… which looked almost exactly like how I would’ve pictured it.
“You’ve entered the Town of Flamerock Refuge. You see the town’s scouting blimps, always alert in case of baddos and stuff… Whatcha gonna do now?” She asked as we came across the bridge to the front of the town.
“STOP PLAYING THIS GAME?” Aurox mumbled. “I’M JUST TEMPTED TO EAT SOME HEARTS RIGHT AROUND NOW…”
“Maybe the townsfolk here know about what’s going on…” Garbuckle then suggested. “Let’s talk to some and see what’s going on.” It was only a few seconds after McBiggun made the suggestion though that we heard Tina speak again. Though it sounded as if it was in response to the warrior as she was saying that what the stallion was suggesting was ‘a grand idea’. Though, there was something really strange about some of the townsfolk in the area. They seemed very… familiar to them.
Some of the townsfolk that were in the village… resembled not just people, but also Displaced that he had met previously. Dear god, how exactly did Tina pull this off? I only remembered mentioning a few of them to her when she asked about them, but there were some faces here that I didn’t tell her about. Which was indeed very… odd.
Especially since one of the people that Garbuckle was talking too strangely resembled one of Brutalight’s friends, Rarifruit. “Excuse me miss, but my friends and I are some traveling adventurers and we were wondering about what’s been going on.”
“Oh dear heavens! Our Queen has gone missing! Without her, our people may never see the sun again!” She cried out in anguish. That got me thinking a little bit as I asked a follow up question.
“Is there someone that might know where the queen went off too?” I asked politely, thinking that maybe there was someone in charge to protect the queen.
“Her personal guard might know.” Rarifruit said, tapping her chin with her index finger. “She’s usually by the forge.”
“Thank you kindly.” I replied, noticing that the forge was nearby and walking on over with McBiggun next to me. Though, once we got there, we didn’t exactly see where her bodyguard was.
“Uhh… She’s not here.” We all heard Shayne then speak up.
“Oh whoops… Forgot to put her piece on the board and BLAM!” We heard Tina reply as… Wait, is that Brutalight!? Tina chose her to be the bodyguard?! What gave her that idea!? “Girl looks like she got problems.” That just made me facepalm myself as I looked back at everyone… though it only got worse when I heard Aaron joke around afterwards. “I punch her problems...”
“Yeah, let’s not do that.” I sighed, looking towards Brutalight.
“What do you want…?” Brutalight asked, sharpening a short demonic blade.
“Well, the four of us heard that the queen had gone missing. We were told that you could help tell us where she might’ve gone too.” I explained to her, in character of course.
“She went to the Tree of Life to try and bring back the light. We were separated though in the forest outside of town…” Brutalight stated with a grunt.
“And with that, your purpose became clear! You must go to the forest and help the queen!” We all heard Tina narrate the story as we looked back at one another… until Garbuckle said something.
“Uhh… Kendov, there’s some sort of lion creature on your shoulder.” Wait, what now? I turned to look at my shoulder and… wait a minute, it’s that little digimon displaced from Beacon! What was her name again?
“Ok, Where the f*ck am I?” The feline asked as she blinked in surprise at her surroundings.
“Uh… Hi?” I said, thinking that she might notice me or remember me from Beacon somehow.
“Huh, who are you?” She asked as she stared at Ken, completely oblivious to the fact she was sitting on his shoulder.
“Uhh… I think we met back at Beacon Academy a couple months back,” I spoke to her, remembering a possible name that I think belonged to her. “I’m Ken… and you’re… Leona, right?”
“Ok…? and yes that's my name.” The feline said as she continued to give Ken a funny look. “Though you still have yet to tell me whats going on…”
“Are you familiar with Tabletop games?” I asked her simply.
“Yes? Why do you ask?” Leona wondered, still trying to wrap her head around this strange situation she found herself in out of the blue.
“Well… Let’s just say that we’re in one with a few friends of mine,” I said, taking a moment to explain everything to her.
“... what? But, how? And if that's so how did I get here?” Leona asked as she began to rub her face in frustration.
“From the looks of it, my cousin Tiny Tina has been having a lot of the characters in here based on other displaced I’ve met… Let’s just play along and once we finish this game, we can send you back to your world, okay?” I told her. Just as I was finishing up though, Brutalight then spoke up. Informing us about the gatekeeper guarding the gate to the forest.
“Over there’s the gatekeeper. Just tell her I sent ya and you should be on your way. Good luck in finding m’lady.” Brutalight said before vanishing.
“Well, let’s go talk with the gatekeeper then.” Captain Wuzz them spoke up as we walked over. Yet again, we find another one of Brutalight’s friends playing the role of the gatekeeper this time. This one being Apple Pills.
“Oh… Hey…” Apple Pills waved. “I’m kinda high right now… What do you want…?”
“Are you the gatekeeper, ma’am?” Sir McBiggun asked, his turn with speaking now. “We were told by the Queen’s bodyguard to come talk to ya so you can allow us passage through that forest.”
“It’s too dangerous to go… Take me with you…” She was going to turn around and get the gate, only to be paused in slow motion as we all heard the sound of what sounded like a cellphone ringing.
“Whoops, time out! Gotta take this…” We heard Tina speak up… I got a bad feeling of where this might be heading. “Dis Tina.”
“IT’S MR. TORGUE!! TINA, PUT ME IN THE GAME!!!” Oh god, please don’t do it. Please don’t do it. Please don’t-.
“… Okay, the Gatekeeper is now Mr. Torgue!” Dammit, why!? Just as quickly as quickly as Apple Pills disappeared, my uncle then showed up. Causing the entire town to shake, making sound effects of explosions and doing an air guitar solo… at the SAME time!!!
“WOO!!! FANTASY WOOOOOORLD!!!!” He shouted out in pure excitement, almost causing Garbuckle’s hat, McBiggun’s helm and Wuzz’s wig to fall off. “So I’m a gatekeeper hunh?! In that case, you gotta prove to my your BADASSITUDE!!” He happened to notice the flying airships in the sky that served as scouts for the town and he came up with an idea. “First task: Blow up those scouting blimps with a fire weapon because… REASONS!!”
All three equestrians standing nearby me looked bewildered, and Garbuckle went as far to ask a question. “What the heck is badassitude?” That just caused me to sigh as I looked at all of them for a moment.
“Guys, if we just do what he asks, we’ll be on our way with no problems.” I assured them. Though, the archer of the group was a bit skeptical in what I was saying and also in what Mr. Torgue just told them.
“Is that even a word in the dictonary-?” Wuzz asked, shortly before getting interrupted.
“F*CK YEAH IT IS! NOW GO DO THAT THING!” Again… facepalm. But at least we now know exactly what we had to do now. There were two blimps, one on each side of town… and conveniently, there were incendiary barrels placed right next to the ropes holding the ships down. I was going to shoot it with Hawkmoon, but Leona beat me too it by hurling a fireball in the direction of the barrels on both sides of town. Meaning we didn’t have to move an inch from where we were.
“Nice shot.” I complimented her, giving her a fistbump in response to her accurate shot as both blimps exploded.
“Meh, nothing to it. Now lets get this over with.” Leona muttered, now looking more bored rather than confused like she had been moments before.
“What the actual hell? You just destroyed any warning signs of the town protecting itself-.” I heard Shayne protest, right before the new gatekeeper interrupted her.
“FAAAAANNNTTTTTASSSYYY!!! Badass task Number two: Head to the town tavern!” He yelled. Though, when we had a look around town, there wasn’t any signs of any particular tavern at all where it was suppose to be.
“Uh Torgue, there’s nothing here-.” I said, just as a new building appeared out of nowhere and demolished the old shack that was there… and the tavern itself was called Moxxi’s Grog and Girls. Fan-freaking-tastic.
“OKAY, YOU’RE AT THE TAVERN!!!” He proudly declared as the doors opened. Once inside, we all saw several different girls, including Displaced, being waitresses. Including a Renamon that Leona couldn’t take her eyes off of and go as far as leap off my shoulder to keep staring at her. All the while, there were two slot machines in the corner and two of the men inside looked WAY past sober. “THE BAR OWNER HAS A PROBLEM!! TALK TO HER!!”
Well, I guess we’re doing this now. I walked up to Moxxi to start a conversation, just as both of these… douchy bar patrons start to try and hit on her. Really? Hit on my freaking aunt for crying out loud? That’s pushing it. “Hey adventurer. It’s closing time, but these idiots can’t take a hint. Could ya throw them out for me? Don’t be afraid to get rough.” Gladly… Using one of my hands, I punched the first guy and McBiggun then slammed his hoof into the other douche to get them to leave… But without them saying a few parting remarks.
“Ow! Oh c’mon! Alright, I’m sorry! I’ll never say anything douchy to you or your foxy girl again. I promise.” Wait for it… something’s gonna happen, I swear. Something always happens right around now. “B*TCH!!!” Just as quickly as we came in, that jerk took off.
“THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE!! CHASE HIM DOWN!!!” We all heard Mr. Torgue shout at us. “PUNCH HIM SO HARD HE EXPLODES!!!”
“Guess we’re doing this now-.” I said, only to notice that Leona was no longer inside the tavern. I was beginning to wonder where she might’ve gone off too, but I think the sound of explosions outside and the whole town shaking pretty much answered that question for me as I heard Mr. Torgue cheering from his position back at the gate. Though it did seem fun at the time… seeing Leona have her victims burnt clothes and also hearing Shayne a few moments later did not help with things.
“Tina, this is getting out of hand! Torgue is ruining your campaign!” She told her while Aurox just grunted. Aaron though, just seemed to be enjoying himself and having fun while watching us play everything out.
“WELL DONE, YOU ARE ALL BADASS ENOUGH NOW TO SURVIVE THE FOREST! COME ON BACK!!” Well, it looks like we all did something right.
“Guess we should head back and see if he can open that gate for us.” Sir McBiggun replied. “Also, where’s the fifth member of the party?” Just as he asked that, Leona landed on my shoulder… again. This time with a doll of the same Renamon in her clutches as the group reformed and met back up with the… gatekeeper. Yet, once we did though… he seemed a little overindulged in his new role.
“NEW MISSION: I want you and your badass lion cub friend to… BLOW UP THE OCEAN!!” He declared.
“... what did he call me?” Leona asked, the area around her becoming uncomfortably warm… Oh god, this isn’t good. Not good at all-.
“Tina, can you please get him out of the way?” We heard Shayne now ask, followed by another sigh from my cousin.
“Fine, okay… Mr. Torgue, I banish you too… the stocks!” We heard her say as Mr. Torgue disappeared and Apple Pills came back. Not before we heard him shout out one last thing.
“The Stocks? AWESOME-!!” By the time we had noticed that Apple Pills had already gone off through the gate and also into the forest to go find the queen. Though, there was something else that came up just before we could set off right now.
“Tina, is it possible to get some sidequests before we go on to the forest?” I heard Shayne ask her. Tina’s response though was… kind of different.
“You could, but I wouldn’t recommend it… Ooh! I got an idea.” She said before speaking to us in a more… royal voice. “Adventurers, The owner of the tavern that you were just in is ever so thankful of throwing out those ill mannered bums. She has a couple of jobs for you, if you are up for the task.”
“Well, it could give us more experience and some better gear…” Garbuckle suggested. “Though some of the jobs could be… tricky.”
“I CAN HELP TOO-!”
“Torgue, why would we want to include someone in our game that’s all muscly and focuses on Flexing and explosions? I mean, do you even like geek stuff?”
“WHAT!?! YOU THINK THAT I CAN’T LIKE GEEK STUFF JUST BECAUSE I TAKE CARE OF MY BODY!?! DISCRIMINATIIIIIIIION!!!!” Well, I think we just figured out the first thing that we need to do.
“O… kay, what’s suppose to happen now-?” McBiggun asked.
“Steady now, girl, I got this… Ahem, Travelers, you must find the three questions of true geekiness!! Find the three questions and if Mr. Torgue answers them correctly, he can be allowed to join our game.” Oh god, is this going to be an annoying fetch quest again? I was almost going batsh*t crazy when Aaron and I had to do the one with the crumpets… Oh god, that’s next!
All Captain Wuzz did was roll his eyes, snap his fingers and have three scrolls appear in his hands as he looked at us with a raised eyebrow. “What? The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can go save the queen.”
“Well said, Captain Wuzz. Now for the questions. Question 1; In Battlestar Galactica, what are the names of the creatures that almost wiped out the human race… in both the original and the reimagining in 2004.”
“EASY! CYLONS!!” Mr. Torgue shouted.
“Correct! Question number 2; In the famous trading card game back on earth called Magic: The Gathering, the world that the game takes place in has five elemental planes and has characters that can control those elements. What are those characters referred to as-?” Tina asked.
“PLANESWALKERS!!”
“Right again. Now for the final and most trickiest question of all… Can the movie ‘Die Hard’ be considered as a christmas movie?” The last question though… caused Mr. Torgue to crack under pressure.
“I-I DON’T KNOW!” At this point, we were all going to just turn around and walk away while Shayne was giving him the unfortunate news… until we heard him go into a meltdown. “W-WHY-HY!?!?!?!! I JUST LIKE SCI-FI, FANTASY… AND UNICORNS AND SH*T!!! WHY CAN’T I JOIN YOUR GAME!?!!”
“Okay… I definitely feel that we’re being a bunch of d*cks right now…” Aaron sighed. “Torgue, if you want to be in the game, you could help us hand out sidequests every once in awhile, alright?”
Now I was hearing my Uncle wipe away his tears before being back to usual self. “ALLLLRIGHT! I PROMISE NOT TO LET YOU GUYS DOWN OR MY NAME ISN’T MR. TORGUE!!”
“Woah woah woah, wait just a minute,” Garbuckle said, just as we reached the gate that lead to the forest. “Your uncle’s first name is actually ‘Mr. Torgue’?” I nodded my head, trying to get this whole thing to move along while restraining Leona so she didn’t try to burn his flesh off of his body. “Then what’s his last name?”
“Well-.”
“FLEXINGTON!!!” And on that note, we decided that we had probably stuck around much longer than we should have and decided to make haste towards the forest.
End Chapter 28
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*Tries but fails not to bust out laughing*
7823284 xD. Glad that worked for you
Jesus Christ, that was something. Funny, too.
Hey can my Lich and Orendi join in on the next chapter please?
7825029 Watching or in the game?
7825139 One or the other, whatever you think works best.
7825271 Hmm... I can think of something
7825660 Cool, let me know when your ready
7825664 Will do
All I could think of while reading this was the DnD game the boys in Stranger Things played.
7947719 It's based on the Borderlands 2 DLC called "Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep." You should check it out when you got the chance
That's a Dragon ball z abridged joke