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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
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Name of Story: Tales of Dragon Clan.
Grammar score out of 10: 8
Pros:
*You got me hook on the dreams, I always like the idea of having dreams in the story.
*the pacing is done well.
Cons:
*a unneeded use of the F word. Now I got no problem with curse words, but I tent to notice that other writes will substitute the letter f with b. Like, buck, bucking, etc.
*Not stating the POV(Point of View). I noticed you like to switch back and forth between first person perspective, and normal writing. This is fine, but it would be wise to give the reader a heads up. Example: <Ruby's POV>. Putting this upon the parts of the first person perspective, make things easier to keep up with. I am not worried about your use of 'I', just give the reader the heads up on who's perspective their reading.
Notes Section: I like the way you handled the primal ideas. It what got me to upvote it. And I am curious on where you'll take this. So I will track it. But I will wait though on giving a fav for it, since there has only been a few chapters.
6893470 The POV shifts... I think I can fix that... thanks!
Poor History Seeker. Meeting his granddaughter for the first time in years and he can't dote on her, spoil her, or anything.