Follow the Rogue Steel Ranger as she fights to find out what happened to her Stable
Page generated in 0.029 seconds
Total duration
794 users online
1,134,630 hits today, 2,244,100 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
this is getting really good looking towards the next, also Appletart is almost ready for birth sweet
1533320 Oh god, the Brotherhood of Nod's motto "Peace Through Power" applies to the Krogoth
My name's Halid Jager, and this is by far one of my most favorite sidefics yet.
1540239 Why thank you, I'm very happy to know you like it so much, I hope you'll continue to like it as it progresses.
1540269 Though at the moment I'm on Chapter Two, I already love it.
I love you for that C&C reference...
1540286 C&C is my fav RTS (Tiberium saga only) and i like to add some refrences into what i do :3
1540331 Tiberian Sun all the way, man!
1558170
It gets better fairly quickly.
Not to imply I didn't like the beginning.
1558170 then your not giving it a chance I'm afraid
wow dude i'm loving the story so far and also i hadn't heard of this story till i saw a picture of it on Equestria daily and because i'm loving the story so far i will be sure to tell all my fellow bronies about this story.
1164591
i just had a heart attack
1575248 Thank you so much, i really appreciate that :D
*whispers into your ear* he or she is still not watching me.
And finally I've caught up to the latest chapter!
Ill write you up a complete review of the story first thing after work. Why? Because I love this fic enough to do so!
1608507 thank you, i'm glad you enjoyed it
Where do I begin?
(SPOILERS FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT READ IT)
Broken Steel is quite frankly a polarizing fic for me, I've both come to absolutely loving it and questioning it the next. There's been interesting scenes developed over the past few weeks it's taken me on our adventure with Appletart, and it was still a enjoyable one none the less. However, coming along to the climax, I won't hide my disappointment in possible developments. So lets begin!
The Story
Appletart's story was a rather patchy one for me, the Lone Ranger executing and abandoning her cause out of pure anger? Executing the officer that possibly assisted raising her from a a foal? This here made me take a pause to fully understand her. The stable scenes themselves were interesting enough to keep me wondering more about her.
Following up, it was a real hook and a shocker to find Appletart was pregnant. It's such a unique occurrence that I was expecting much more grimdark themes from you, which wasn't profound. This right here hooked me into continuing my reading. In short, this was a fresh, unique idea.
The GDS Kodiak II, now this one really goes out to you for this, since I absolutely loved it. From meeting Zyon to learning the fate of the doomed crew as they came barreling towards Equestria. The final piece was none other than her signature sniper rifle, the anti-materiel gun. That rifle itself was absolutely amazing throughout the story, and you've accurately balanced its pros and cons to make it a impractical but powerful one.
Now, here's where I've found myself at a rather sour distaste.
Motor Runner
Motor Runner. The enigmatic Hoofington Reaper who unleashed a monster upon Equestria, even with good intentions on his mind. I cannot deny I absolutely despise him, no matter how you cut it from being innocent. I won't deny, but I'll be harsh here. His backstory reminds me of a stereotypical villain-to-hero's background, losing his parents, finding a project to busy himself, and only then finding redemption in the main character's embrace.
The ever-looming possibility of shipping the stallion who gutted a still-living stable with the mare directly from it? I'm sorry, even if it'd been years, you'd believe if Appletart would actually be turned off from him, accidental or not. It just feels forced, even the wet dream really turned me away to the point I nearly dropped the chapter entirely. Personally, I'd tell you to think this back over if the shipping goes through. It's just not right, to my opinion. However, this is your fic, do with it what you please, and I have no desire to stop reading this fic.
Overall
I'll give you serious merit for such unique and interesting characters, from Zyon to Sky Fire and Motor Runner to Dr. Gizmo. However, your spelling and grammar are lacking, and your sentence structures require some work. In the end, I would give this fic a 7/10 for excellent creativity and a enjoyable character base, but detracts due to issues I've stated.
In short, keep up the work, Appletart!
1609160
Motor Runner made one rule for salvaging Stables and that was LIVE ones were to be left alone. The Raiders that attacked Stable 88 ignored that order.
I've never really written anything before until this. Appletart has an anger issue as a result from the death of her stable and that has only gotten worse as time passed. As you've seen, once she totally flips she's quite dangerous.
What about K-01 ACM KROGOTH and how it stole the mind of a pony to ensure its independence?
I've only read the prologue so far and I really want to read further.
I have to ask because I like reading on an ereader way more than reading on a pc, id there a .epub version of Broken Steel?
1727007 there is only what is here and on Deviantart i'm afraid, glad you liked the start and i hope it gets better for you as you read on
1727137 Would you mind if I tried my hoof at making an ereader version of the story then?
1731980 No sorry, someone has already attempted to steal this story, not saying your going to do it, but i've had a many people attempt theft of my work, be it my MS Paint ships or this fic, i don't trust anyone anymore, i'm sorry
1732949 I can understand that, I have a browser option on my reader so I think I can manage with it as it is. I hope you won't have anymore trouble with people stealing your works.
1733082 me too, thank you
704265
I'm sorry. I did attempt to contact you but you never agreed on how to edit your story. So I never really started the editing process.
you can email me at ThinkLoveReact@gmail.com if you still need an editor.
Great work, can't wait to read more
1771006 thank you
Motor Runner's backstory was really well done, and I loved it. Although, I wonder if there was another way to tell it rather than a several page exposition dump. I mena, you have wondeerful way with characters and the story is good, but I wonder if some of th backstory moments could've been told another way.
oh, this reminded me of a nasty scene in a fantasy story, i think it was part of the "forgotten realms" series:
the princess of a kingdom was fighting some nasty magic-eating monsters, people who had become monsters as punishment for betraying the kingdom. in a weird plot twist, she had to PARDON them to make them lose their powers.
AND she gave birth in the middle of fighting the last one...
the baby survived, but the princess was fatally injured.
You spent way to much time going through his backstory. He had no reason to reveal this much about himself and it dragged on for way to long I had to skip mostly of the chapter. Also your paragraphs are way to long and that made them tedious and hard to read you need to shorten them. Your characters often go into to much detail when explaining there histories and you tell us too much about the characters when you should be showing.