Champions of the Elements

by The Philosopher King

Tales of Apples and Oranges

The Elements of Harmony decided to take the train to the capital of Equestria, Canterlot; Twilight, however, teleported her and Ryze directly there to establish fast first contact between Runeterra and Equestria. Ryze already had plans for diplomacy, as while Twisted Fate had been unconscious, he and Twilight had combined their magic together to send an apple back to Runeterra. They even managed to create a portal large enough to look through, and they saw a glimpse into the throne room of Prince Jarvan IV, the ruler of Demacia. He was… eating the apple they sent through. This surprised the living shit out of Ryze, but not so much Twilight.

---

“It was a Sweet Apple Acres apple…” she said.

“He’s the current ruler of Demacia. Why would he eat a random apple straight out of Gods-know where?” he demanded.

“Because he can see who sent it,” replied Jarvan IV from the other side of the portal.

“Now we know it’s at least a two-way portal…” said Twilight.

“True it is,” answered Jarvan IV. “Why have you conjured a portal to see me, Ryze? You know you have a designated warp circle in my court.”

“Because me and several other summoners are stuck in another dimension. Here there is a country that is about to go to war against two others, and a third has a large chance of striking. We will send you a letter when we arrive to our destination, so you may talk with its leader.” said Ryze.

“Very well then, we shall topple their forces. I will gather the Demacian Champions, other than Shyvana who has gone-”

“Actually, she’s already here, Prince. She was summoned alongside several others. Sorry for the interruption.” finished Ryze.

“‘Tis alright. I shall gather them, and tell of this news to Piltover, the old leaders of the lost kingdom of Shurima, and Bandle City. We do not want Zaun or Noxus involved…”

“True. I shall be on my way with my summoner.” Ryze began to close the portal at this statement.

“Excellent. I shall see you when you send me a portal to their leader. Also, the apple is delicious!” said Jarvan IV as Ryze finished closing the Portal.

“I guess we will negotiate peace talks with Jarvan and his allies when we get to Canterlot…” said Ryze.

---

“Twilight, I’ve been expecting you for a while now, after hearing the summon worked.” said Princess Celestia.

“Ah, so you are their leader.” said Ryze. “I am Ryze, the Rogue Mage. I understand Twilight talked about me in her letter, yes?”

“Of course, and I understand what you shall do when the others arrive. These countries sound interesting, and I trust their leaders shall be nothing but impressive.” finished Celestia.

“Sister, what is going on?” asked Luna, as she walked into the court.

“This is the creature Twilight summoned, Ryze.” said Celestia.

“Oh right, it’s diarchy…” mumbled Ryze. “So, you are the Lunar Princess,” he said in his normal voice. “and you,” he gestured to Celestia. “are the Solar Princess, correct?”

“Yes, and we rule Equestria together.” said Celestia.

“I guess all we can do now is wait for the others…” said Ryze.

---

Meanwhile, on the Canterlot Express…

“At least they got trains here. Too bad no hextech…” mumbled Graves.

“Look at the bright side. Here we aren’t outlaws.” said T.F.

“Wait, you two are outlaws?” asked Applejack, as she, Twisted Fate, Graves, and Rarity were in the same booth.

“I believe we registered that when we warped in with gunshot wounds in our sides and Vi told you a bunch of shit.” said Twisted Fate. “We’re wanted men in every Valoran City state. Luckily, we aren’t in Valoran and can live somewhat regular lives.”

“I’m not certain I like the sound of this…” said Rarity.

“We ain’t doing jackshit here. We ain’t got plans for thieving and lying now. Unless we need to pass an inspection from guards or some crap…” said Graves.

“I don’t believe that’s gonna happen,” said Applejack. “So, perhaps you can tell us some stuff about yerselves?”

“Well, we grew up a bit differently. I grew up amongst the people of the Serpentine, a nomadic people who live on the river and had an affinity for cards. We always had short welcome, however, as we were despised for our different ways. Eventually, we were attacked by gamblers wanting money back at one of the ports we berthed at, and I attacked the men who attacked us. It was against our law to harm anyone, and I was immediately exiled. I began to grow to manhood, gambling from table to table, and eventually I met this lug across from one of the tables I played at.” said Twisted Fate.

“Meanwhile, I grew up in the island-city of Bilgewater, the city of pirates and outlaws. I had to learn to fight and steal to survive. I gambled a little on the side, but I lived in Bilgewater until I snuck onto a cargo ship to get to mainland Valoran. When I gambled there, I met Twisted Fate here in the back of a casino. “ added Graves.

“After that, we were inseparable for a long time. But then a heist went wrong, and Graves got caught. I gathered some old guys me and him worked with to try and break him out, but that went wrong too… we didn’t see each other again for years.”

“I was being tortured for the majority of that time. It was… not a pleasurable experience.” said Graves.”

“Eventually, I went off on a job to steal an ornamental dagger in Bilgewater, and Malcolm here finally got out of his torture to pin me down. He wanted my head on a silver platter, complete with ornamental dagger on the side. I had to run, and run I did. The two of us eventually got caught by some of a certain pirate’s crew, and that pirate was the uncrowned king of Bilgewater, Gangplank. Man was mean as hell, had some weird-ass orange fetish, and he was going to execute me and Graves with an old cannon named Death’s Daughter. Took all my cards, they did. But Malcolm had a card I gave him years ago, and since were bound together, he handed it to me. I used it to try and escape, but sadly I couldn’t take Graves with me using the card. So I went back, and found him instead tied to the bloody cannon on Gangplank’s ship.”

“I kept cursing Twisted Fate the entire time I was being tied to that cannon, and afterwards cursing Gangplank.” said Graves.

“Well, right when I got close enough to save him, they tossed the cannon overboard. He was gonna sink, but I jumped in as they tossed it overboard. They shot me on the way down, and I could barely muster enough strength to get him freed. Shortly afterward, I went unconscious.”

“And with me freed, I was gonna just go up to the surface without his cheap ass… but I dragged him to the surface with me, and yanked him up on the side of the slaughter docks as we watched Miss Fortune, a friend of ours, use her flagship to send Gangplank’s ship, The Dead Pool, to the bottom of the ocean. The bastard survived, somehow. Probably ate an orange and became ok. He lost an arm in it, and now has a robotic arm and still wants our heads. Luckily after that, we’re back in business. And now we’re here, fighting for, Equestria, right?”

“Yeah, sounds like you two have been through some deep stuff together…”

“We have. Life’s hard in the world… but it’s not gambling if you win every time, right?” asked Twisted Fate.

“I guess…” replied Rarity.

Meanwhile, behind them were Vi and Rainbow Dash discussing some of their feats white Fluttershy and Gnar listened. Behind them were Pinkie Pie and Shaco being… Pinkie Pie and Shaco.

“You’re an interesting character…” said Shaco. “How do you do your random warps and tricks? I use a small bit of magic to warp disappear, but I don’t see you expending anything to warp to a place?”

“Silly Shaco!” replied Pinkie Pie. “I don’t need anything to do anything! I’m Pinkie Pie!”

“But there has to be some explanation for how you do your abilities. You do all sorts of things, such as changing into various objects and appearing from thin air. I have to use mana to do my skills, and yet you use none.”

“I don’t have to. I just do it.” replied Pinkie Pie.

“That makes absolutely no-”

“Don’t question it,” said Rainbow Dash from behind Shaco. “It will prevent your brain from exploding.”

“Eh, for my next trick, I’ll make you disappear…” said Shaco.

Finally, behind Shaco and Pinkie Pie were Shyvana and Spike. There was an awkward silence between the two, partially because Shyvana envied Spike for being a full dragon, and Spike envied Shyvana for being fully grown.

“So…” said Spike, trying to break the awkward silence. “Should I know a little bit about you?”

“Well…” said Shyvana. “I was viewed as an abomination by dragonkind, as a half-breed. I had to stay on the run with my father, a dragon, when a certain drake chased us relentlessly. That dragon killed him. And I chased him down with the current leader of Demacia, Prince Jarvan IV. I ripped the dragon’s heart out, and am now part of Jarvan’s elite guard, and work as a champion in the league.”

“That’s amazing.” said Spike in response. There was still an awkward tension so thick you could cut it with a…

“Shaco, stop cutting the air with your knives, the noise is getting irritating.” growled Shyvana.

“Just preparing for battle…” said Shaco.

Comments

[Solaris_flare]

that shaco bit at the end amused me