Act Six Chapter Three: Hell oveflows. Shits are wrecked.
Begin Chapter Three
“Dash...”
“SHUT UP!”
Twilight paused a moment, taking in the horrific scenery around her, then glanced back towards weeping wreck that was Future Dash. She took a nervous step forwards as the alicorn turned back towards the… body, still clutching it, with a death grip, as if hoping in vain to bring it back to life. “I’m... sorry, Dash. I’m… so… so sorry.” The librarian broke her composure- her knees buckled beneath her as she crumpled to the blackened earth and sobbed.
Future Dash inhaled an oncoming sniff. “Don’t say you’re sorry,” she choked. Her eyebrows arched downwards as she lifted herself from Luna’s corpse, drops of water falling from her face. “I don’t deserve to be felt sorry for. I don’t deserve to be pitied.”
“What!” Twilight cried, glancing up from the ground at the Thief of Time. “Wait, I didn’t mean-”
“I’M NOT WORTH IT!” Future Dash screeched towards the unicorn. “I’M NOT WORTHY OF PITY! IT’S MY FAULT SHE’S DEAD, AND THERE’S NOTHING ANY OF US CAN DO ABOUT IT!” In the wake of Dash’s screams, the wasteland was left silent, save for the Thief’s exhausted panting, and Twilight stared with an utterly shocked look as Dash’s expression softened and her gaze sunk to the ground. “There’s… nothing we can do…”
Most of the others simply stood near the rim of the crater, staring in disbelief at the sight within. Fluttershy knelt sobbing on the ground, Nitram and Serket crouching near her. Spike bore an expression of sorrow and confusion, while Trixie bore one more akin to disgust. The CMC were crying as well, their respective sisters providing them what comfort they could, all the while holding back tears of their own.
“R-Rainbow?” Scootaloo asked between hiccups. “W-What did that other you mean w-when she said that it was h-her fault?”
“I… I dunno,” Rainbow Dash muttered in response, casting a worried look towards her alternate self. Within seconds, however, her depressed expression morphed into a rage-filled scowl. “I do know one thing though. Noir isn’t getting off scott-free. Not for this.”
“This… this isn’t happening, is it?” Vantas stammered, his eyes bugged out at the hellish sight. “This- this can’t be happening. I’m 100% certain that it’s completely impossible for this to happen.”
“1t’s h4pp3n1ng, though,” Pyrope moaned. “4nd wors3- w3 m4d3 1t h4pp3n. 1 m4d3 1t h4pp3n. 1f 1 h4d just p4us3d 4 mom3nt, t4k3n 4 look 4h34d… 4nd now 1t’s too l4t3…”
“Hey, don’t beat yourself up about this,” Vantas reassured the Seer. “We’ve all got responsibility for this. You, me, the ponies… but there’s one changeling who’s got a bit more responsibility than the rest of us.” Vantas turned away from his matesprit, his face curling into an expression of pure hatred.
“I Can’t Help But Agree,” Maryam said, approaching the two from behind. “That Changeling Has One Thing Coming To Him- Us.” Zahhak, looking up from a snivelling Leijon, gave Maryam a nod. Peixes’s reddened eyes formed a grim expression as she and Ampora nodded as well.
“Noir is so dead!” Rainbow cried, smacking her hooves together.
“That’s something we can all agree on,” Applejack added, putting on a determined expression.
“I’m glad you lot feel that way.” The group turned to see Future Dash trudging up the walls of the crater, Twilight following closely behind. “We’ve got a long road ahead of us, and an great challenge at the end of it. But with all your help, well… we’re gonna stop that changeling.”
“We’re gonna avenge Luna!” The present Dash added!”
“Yeah!” Pinkie cried. “I always wanted to try revenge! I heard it’s best served cold, like ice cream or pizza, and those are delicious!”
“You’re not going to be that enthusiastic for long,” Future Dash warned. “But here’s the deal- from now on, all of us, we’ve got to be careful. We’ve got to expect the unexpected, because apparently my knowledge of the future isn’t as spot on as I thought it’d be. And it’s gonna be tough going. We’re gonna be in all sorts of tight places before long.”
“That won’t matter,” Rainbow Dash replied. “Because we’re not just doing this for ourselves. We’re not just doing this for Equestria. We’re doing this for Luna.”
“FOR LUNA!” the Crusaders cheered. “YEAH!”
“Violence.” The group turned on a dime, just in time to see the owner of the somber voice alight before them. “Violence is always the answer with you trolls. Any issue can be solved via brute force alone. No need for strategizing or subtlety.” The alicorn took a glance towards the crater. “No time for mourning the recently deceased.”
The group froze, simply staring at the Princess before them, before eventually Twilight spoke up. “Princess Celestia,” she began. “There’s… a lot we need to catch you up on, but first thing’s first. The trolls aren’t-”
“Twilight,” Celestia interrupted in an uncharacteristically cold voice. “You and I will have a talk about this later. A very, very long talk. Until then, however, might I request just a moment to mourn?” Her only response was silence. Celestia took slow measured steps, the clump of ponies and trolls parting through the middle to allow her into the crater. She stopped just short of Luna’s body, staring down at the lifeless husk that was once a sister, her face shrouded in shadow. For several minutes she simply stood there, head facing the ground, positioned before the dead alicorn. The ponies and trolls uncomfortably observed, their tongues still held mum.
Finally, Celestia lit her horn. The handle of Luna’s sword was surrounded in a golden aura, and Celestia flinched as with an unpleasantly wet noise, she retrieved the weapon. Then, her horn’s glow intensified. Flames slowly crept up Luna’s body, a glowing light in contrast to the shattered night sky. Slowly, the trolls and ponies filled into the crater, and sat down in a ring around the funeral pyre. Silence pervaded the area, aside from the crackling of flames and the occasional sob.
Celestia did not cry, and she did not look up until the body had reduced to nothing more than a small cloud of ash. Then, gingerly scooping the cinders into her hooves, Celestia raised the load towards the sky. A slight breeze came by, catching the ashes and carrying them off. Celestia’s horn lit, and as the moon dutifully sank and the sun replaced it, for just a moment the cinders were a shadow against the great ball of fire- then, they whirled away, just more debris in the wind.
Celestia spoke for the first time since she’d stepped up to Luna’s corpse. “Everypony dies in the end,” she said. “I think she’d be glad to ultimately end up the same as everypony else.” Then she turned to the ponies and trolls. “We should go. Back to Canterlot, that is.”
“Wait!” Heads spun towards the source of the voice. In the distance, growing ever larger as they neared, four silhouettes approached the crater. “Don’t leave without us!” Rune Blaze cried.
“Rune Blaze!?” Twilight gasped.
“Escutcheon, Cloud Cover? Bramble Scout?” Vantas cried in awe as the royal guards began making their way down from the crater’s sill. “You’re still alive? How did you…?”
“Let’s just say we got lucky. Very lucky,” Bramble Scout replied, rubbing the scorch marks on the side of his head.
“Epsilon Squad,” Escutcheon declared, saluting Princess Celestia, “formally reporting for duty.”
It didn’t quite make Celestia smile. Perhaps nothing would, now. But it did cause her mouth to twitch.
“Motherfuckin miracles, brothers,” Makara said. A moment later, a flash of gold left the wasteland of a battlefield deserted once again.
A few clots of smoke remained, suspended in the sky. Slowly, the wind worked away at them, the gray curls of aerosol drifting to the Breeze’s discretion. Slowly, they curled and uncurled, shaped by the random flow of air, until a symbol emerged- a large circle, with a tendril extending from the bottom, the offshoot curling into a spiral, like plasma drawn curling towards a black hole…
-----
“Twilight,” Celestia said with a tone of disbelief. “Please allow me to confirm that what I’ve heard is true. You’re telling me that a Future version of Rainbow Dash travelled back in time. She summoned you, my sister, and the Doomed Gods. You allowed my sister and her to foolishly attack Hive Lord Noir on their own, while you attempted and failed to stop an invasion of Ponyville. And you did all this without telling me.”
Twilight looked for a moment as if she were going to answer. Then her mouth closed and her head dropped and she simply gave a small nod. “And what, may I ask, motivated you to do such things?” Celestia curtly asked.
“Princess, I-” Twilight started, before freezing. As if unable to find the words, she allowed her head to drop back to the ground. “We were… worried. Future Dash kept talking about how the Trolls were our allies, and how your suspicion of them was part of what lead to our downfall. We… it didn’t seem all that real, then. It was just Dash telling us about what we had to do, soon but not yet. We felt like we had time, that we could approach this gradually… nopony thought to come get you. Then suddenly Cloudsdale was destroyed, and… well it was all so quick after that, but…”
“You should’ve come get me,” Celestia said. “I… suppose, however, that I might’ve made a mistake in being so skeptical of the Trolls. Still remember, Twilight, that I am very disappointed in you.” She turned away from her scolded student, to the royal guards standing silently by the door. “Let them in,” she ordered.
The guards nodded in response, and tugged open the throne room doors. “Well, it’s about fucking time,” Vantas groaned as he stepped into the hall, followed by Spike, Future Dash, who hovered a couple inches above the ground, and the rest of the trolls, looking a little dissatisfied. “You couldn’t have waited any longer, could you’ve, eh Princess?” Vantas snarked. “I’m sure there’s nothing time sensitive going on here, no need to hurry-”
“Silence, Threshecutioner.” Vantas was frozen by the serious edge to the Princess’s voice. Her expression was one devoid of amusement, cold and stern. “You will not address me with such lack of respect,” Celestia ordered. “I have chosen for the time being to believe your claims of benevolence. If you give me reason to doubt your ‘benign intentions,’ I can assure you that I will respond swiftly and decisive.”
As Vantas was left speechless, quailing under the Princess’s glare, Celestia turned away from the Troll to address the group as a whole. “As you all know,” Celestia said, “we currently face a crisis of a dangerous scale. Hive Lord Noir is rampaging across Equestria, and his changeling armies are striking city after city, kidnapping swaths of ponies. We are all here now, under what will hopefully be a tight alliance, to develop and subsequently execute a plan to stop the Changeling. In order to do so, we will need information- especially concerning the Hive Lord himself. So…”
The Princess glanced towards Future Dash, whose gaze wasn’t on Celestia, but instead focused on some of the stained glass windows. Her eyes traveled from the painting of Luna and Celestia circling an imprisoned Discord to the image of the Elements of Harmony leveling their power against Nightmare Moon. “Err- Rainbow Dash?” Celestia asked.
“What?” Rainbow cried, the Princess’s remark snapping her out of her funk.
“If it’s alright, Rainbow, I’d like you to tell us all what happened during your battle with Hive Lord Noir.
“It’s…” Rainbow hesitated. “Yes, it’s fine. I… just uh… Here’s what happened…”
-----
“The whole event… it’s vivid in my mind. Real vivid. I can imagine it almost like it’s happening now, and I swear it’s gonna haunt my dreams. When Luna and I arrived, the place looked like armageddon. Cloudsdale was almost completely destroyed, just a few puffs left, crackling with red. There were… bodies everywhere. It was horrific.
“While I was taking in the scene, Luna spotted a black shape moving off on the horizon, and moving fast. Naturally, we took off after it. Noir seemed to notice us approaching and he shot ahead. I sped up, trying to catch up to him. Gave myself a time boost and sorta rammed the guy right in the chest. He crashed into the ground, and was just picking himself up when Luna and I floated down on him.
“And it all went downhill from there.
“See the thing about this guy is- he’s strong. Like, really really fucking strong. He was teleporting everywhere in flashes of green, firing these stupidly powerful blasts of magic from every angle. Luna and I were barely able to keep up at first, just sort of trying to avoid what he was sending our way, and hoping for an opening. And eventually we got one.
“Noir misfired one of his teleports, appearing right in front of me. I reacted quickly, using the whole Thief of Time thing to gank his time. How does it work? Well, in this case basically I caused time to move slower for him, and faster for me. The guy was so fast already that this kind of just meant reducing him to normal speed, but it boosted my speed like crazy. I demonstrated this by delivering a supersonic beating to the piece of crap, just hitting him with a barrage of punches and kicks before diving down and slamming him into the ground. The force of the impact made a crater, but Noir still shrugged it off like it was nothing. He growled at me, and teleported above me, before attempting to blast me to smithereens. I say attempting because he didn’t succeed- at that point I was way too fast for him, and he got a little preoccupied.
“Luna came out of nowhere, and nearly severed Noir’s wing. Noir blocked Luna’s katana with his own sword, and just in time too. They then proceeded to have this insane sword duel. I swear, there were sparks flying off their weapons. I could barely even see the metal flashing between them. I noticed, however, when small cuts started appearing all over Luna, as if she still couldn’t keep up with this guy.
“I took this as a cue to intervene, and rammed into Noir from the bottom, tossing him up into the air. I hit him a couple times on flybys, before grabbing him and slamming him into the ground again, this time dragging him across the field and leaving this big trail of upturned dirt. He pulled the teleporting trick again, and blinked out of my grip. I looked above me and there he was, claw raised. Then we learned something new.
“Apparently Noir’s part Draconequus now.
“Suddenly there were some flashes of green and all sorts of wicked knives flashed into existence around Noir. He sent them flying at me and I only barely dodged them all. Luna came charging at him, sent him tumbling away through the air. Noir righted himself, then opened a green portal between his front claws. Suddenly, Luna was blasted with a stream of pianos, razors, and playing cards, and I’ve got to assure you it probably hurt way more than it sounds like. Luna managed to put up a shield after being clocked with a couple pianos, so most of the items reflected off it. I took the opportunity to bodyslam him again, disrupting his attack and launching him towards Luna. She dropped her shield as soon as the cards stopped hitting her, and instead conjured this massive sledgehammer and knocked Noir skywards. Just as he crossed infront of the moon, Luna teleported behind him and swung the hammer again, this time sending him crashing to the ground. Again. Somehow, Noir still got up. Again.
“So I guess by now he’d had enough of this fight. His crown flashed and his horn shone red and he did that attack he used to destroy Cloudsdale- the one with all the red tendrils. It was like… spears of fire, coming at us from every direction, burning and piercing. Luna brought out her shield bubble again, which seemed to hold off the tendrils, but I wasn’t sure how long it’d work for. I rushed Noir, swerving left and right to avoid the tendrils. I don’t think he saw me coming, because he gave me just enough time to pull off a more advanced temporal maneuver.
“See, stealing time is sort of a concept open to interpretation. There’s a lot of ways you could steal time and there’s a lot of ways you can use the stolen time. Heck, if he’d stayed still long enough I probably could’ve tried draining away the remaining years of his life. In this case though, I pulled a time stop- froze him in place by stealing all the time he had at that moment. The tendrils froze with him, allowing Luna to dispel her shield and charge up this big blast of magic. I released Noir only just when Luna’s beam was about to hit him.
“There was this big flash of light, and when it had cleared and we saw Noir smoking on the ground, we thought this was the end of it. For a second, we lowered our guard, and just when we were vulnerable, disaster struck.
“There was this flash of green around Noir’s neck, and when it cleared there was something there that wasn’t before. I think it was a locket, or maybe an amulet. It was gray, but set with red jewels, and it was shaped like an alicorn.
“Noir’s eyes opened, flashing green and red. I didn’t even see him come- one second he was lying on the ground and the next he was in my face, slashing at me with his sword, his claws, heck, probably even his teeth. I was all battered and stinging when he grabbed me around the neck and dove towards the ground, before smashing me into the dirt. I almost passed out from that attack alone.
“While I was getting to my knees, Noir was busy with Luna. His revival only seemed to make Luna madder, more determined than ever to beat him. I heard a couple chimes of metal on metal, so they must’ve had another sword fight. Luna let out a cry of pain, and I heard her sword clatter to the ground somewhere near me. Then there was this great electrical zap and I looked up and saw Noir and Luna locked in a beam struggle, one blue pulsing with black, another green crackling with red. A couple moments later and green won out, and Luna was sent crashing to the ground next to me. By then I had only barely started rising to my hooves. By the time I was on all fours, Luna was back in the air. Nothing could stop her.
“She rose above Noir, above the scarred battlefield until she was just a shadow against the moon. Her eyes lit white, and suddenly a star was ripped from the sky and sent hurtling down towards Noir. The changeling responded by blasting the meteor to dust. Another star shot towards him, and he vaporized it. At this point, Luna basically just lost her shit, and every star in the sky started streaking towards us, a shower of smoking lights.
“At first he seemed to shrug off the attack, teleporting out of the way of the asteroids, exploding them with bursts of green or cleaving them in two with a swing of his sword. I put up a shield bubble, trying to protect myself as hundreds of comets struck the ground, raising fiery explosions all around me. The land was burned black as night as Luna continued her assault, though it all seemed futile against Noir- he was too fast, too quick to respond. Then a single meteor clipped him; it didn’t hit him full on, just sort of clipped him and he was sent spiraling into the ground.
“He crashed to the earth in an explosion of dirt and debris, though he got up soon after. My eyes widened as I saw him snatch Luna’s fallen sword in a green aura, and I spread my wings as he carefully positioned the weapon, taking aim at it’s previous owner. As he sent the sword rocketing towards Luna, point first, I blasted into the air. My mind was racing as I made to intercept the object before it reached its destination. There were two concepts I grasped quickly as my speed hit Sonic Rainboom levels, a multicolored shockwave emanating in my wake. 1: I was still wasn’t faster than a speeding bullet, and 2: if I sped up fast enough I wouldn’t be able to simply knock the sword out of the way. I’d shoot up there, only just get in the way of the blade, and then I’d die… in a way that was most certainly heroic. I was ready for it… or more accurately, I thought I was.
“It happened just as I’d expected. I beat my wings faster and zoomed ahead just a little more. My path curved as I threw myself in front of Luna, waiting to take the attack. And then…
“I flinched. Or I just wasn’t ready. My self preservation kicked in, and my body twisted out of the way as I watched the sword fly past me and bury itself in Luna’s chest. And as I watched the… white in her eyes… go out…
“...Sorry, just needed a moment to compose myself there. It was quick after that. Noir teleported above Luna and sent her crashing into the ground with a huge beam of green. Then he turned to me. Moments later everything was black.
“And then it was light again. I guess that in failing to sacrifice myself, I had disqualified myself from a heroic death… yet since I was fighting Noir when I died it wasn’t quite just. I took a look over the battlefield, at the giant crater that Luna’s astral attack had created. Noir was nowhere to be seen. I did however, spot a dark splotch in the middle of the crater, a blackened corpse splattered with red, and…
“I think you know the rest…”
-----
As Future Dash finished her explanation, the room was completely silent. Some held their expressions firm, while others held their hands, hooves, or other corresponding digits to their mouths. Future Dash, whose eyes had become tinged with red, gave somewhat of a sigh before settling down.
“Oh, Noir is going down!” Rainbow Dash cried, oblivious to her friends’ gestures to calm down, or the uncomfortable look Future Dash sported.
“I thank you for sharing this information with us,” Celestia said, stepping forwards and silencing Rainbow Dash. “And I’m truly sorry for making you relive such an experience.”
“It’s… it’s OK, I think. It… feels a little good to get that off my chest,” Future Dash said.
Celestia, nodded, and then continued. “I believe now we understand the seriousness of our situation. Noir is a fierce opponent to be capable of defeating two alicorns, and to… kill one. I’ve developed a two part plan that I believe will be bring about Noir’s defeat.
“As Twilight tells me, several of you trolls have ascended to godhood, putting you roughly on par power level-wise with an alicorn. Therefore, the first part of the plan involves locating Noir, if necessary luring him to an uninhabited area, and having Future Dash, me, and the ascended among you engage him in combat.
“Meanwhile, there’s a second crisis that we must avert. There’s a reason that Noir has sent his forces to attack cities, abducting ponies. I believe that after the failed changeling invasion, Noir’s hive is on its last legs. A vast majority of their forces have been depleted, forces that must be… replaced.”
Twilight gave a gasp at this. “You don’t mean…”
“Yes. The kidnapped ponies are most likely being transformed into changelings.” At Celestia’s words, the Elements of Harmony turned green with disgust. Even the trolls seemed unsettled by the prospect, and Celestia’s expression didn’t try to hide her loathing. “Now, this is the second part of the plan. As I take on part one, I will have Twilight lead the Elements of Harmony and the remaining trolls in a raid against the Changeling Hive, freeing the imprisoned ponies.”
Twilight nodded at this. “Yes, that makes sense. Err, Princess? Do we actually know where any of these things are?”
At this Celestia smiled. “In fact, we do. Prior to this meeting, I took the time to cast a few divination spells. In doing so, I discovered the location of the Changeling Hive, out in the badlands.”
“Oh. Well that’s pretty convenient,” Vantas said.
All eyes in the room turned to Pinkie Pie, waiting expectantly. “What?” Pinkie asked. “I don’t always make jokes about plot convenience. That’d be predictable.”
Before anyone was quite able to process the implications of Pinkie’s words, a knock sounded on the great throne room door. Followed by another, and then another, and then a flurry of frantic beats. Celestia sighed, and lighting her horn, opened the door. Hovering in midair was a familiar walleyed pegasus, a mailmare with a colorful winged cap and a golden mailbag slung over her shoulder. “Um… Princess Celestia?” she asked. “I have an urgent letter from a ‘Mr. Noir.’”
The room grew quiet, a wave of trepidation washing over the group. “Well, don’t leave us in suspense, Miss Doo. What did he write?” Celestia asked.
“Hold on, I jotted it down somewhere,” Ditzy replied. She reached into her mailbag, shuffling through a few parcels and envelopes before retrieving a thin piece of paper. “Let’s see here- ‘Hey, Princess Sunbutt! If you know what’s good for you, you’ll give me the Celestial Crown! If you don’t know what’s good for you, don’t worry. You’ll find out.’” Ditzy returned the letter to her bag. “Again, his words, not mine.”
“We know that, Miss Doo,” Celestia replied. “But are you to tell me he wrote out and sent a warning letter?”
“Well, maybe letter is the wrong word here. Um… message! Yes message. He gave me a message.”
“Message?” Celestia cried, straightening herself. “You mean he told you this in person?”
“Yeah,” Ditzy replied. “About five minutes ago, actually. Why?” Seconds after the words had escaped her lips, the entirety of the group had evacuated the room. The mailmare turned toward the throne room doors, still swinging. “Was it something I said?”
-----
“Pssh. Unbelievable,” Trixie muttered. “I go to all the trouble of evacuating Ponyville and I’m sent on a palace shopping trip?”
“Ma’am, calm down,” Escutcheon advised. “The palace needs groceries just the same as any other place. This is an important job, so don’t stack the cart too high.”
“I know, I know,” Trixie groaned. “And you do too. They just wanted us out of the palace while they have their meeting on what to do next. As if we couldn’t be of any help.”
“Well, we couldn’t,” Rune Blaze said. “I mean, think about it. Of all the ponies over there, we probably understand the least. I can barely follow what’s happening on an event-by-event basis, and I doubt you’re doing much better. So no we wouldn’t be helping.”
“And besides,” Cloud Cover finished. “Somepony has to watch the foals.” He gestured up ahead where Bramble Scout seemed to be racing the Cutie Mark Crusaders back and forth through the market stalls.
“I… I suppose you may be right,” Trixie groaned. She continued pushing the cart along, before with a crash it bumped into the pony ahead of her. “Hey!” she cried. “Don’t just stop in the middle of the street like that! I’m trying to get some work done here!” To her surprise, the pony didn’t respond to her screaming, instead gaping at the sight above them. Trixie followed the pony’s line of sight, and her eyes widened in surprise at what she saw. A dark shape, a horrific spot of black, was encroaching on the horizon.
-----
This had been an unusual day for Hive Lord Noir. After all, it wasn’t every Tuesday that you committed regicide, scaled power tiers like ladders on a playground, and ascended to the position of a virtual god. It also wasn’t everyday that you descended upon the streets of Canterlot, horn ablazing as you shot bursts of green fire towards the skyline, stabbing any ponies who come too close. And it definitely wasn’t every day that you broke out into song.
“♪This Day is going to be perfect♪” Noir sung, grinning madly.
“♪The kind of day of which I dreamed since I was small.
Every pony in their place.
Melting city, bloodied face.
When I’m through there won’t be nothing left at all♪”
Across town, a white alicorn stepped onto a high balcony, an enormous group of ponies and trolls following closely after. Her eyes filled with emotions that should’ve been foreign to a god- fear, worry, pain in seeing a creature of nightmares terrorizing her beloved ponies, and she sang in a tone drenched in despair.
“♪This day was going to be perfect.
The kind of day of which I’ve dreamed since I was small.
But instead of peace and love
Be it day or night above,
Beloved moon, it may not shine for us at all♪”
Noir gave a wild laugh as a squad of Royal Guards charged at him. He drew his sword, and in a blur of movement left their heads severed from their bodies.
“♪I could care less about the mess.
I love to leave red in my stead!
Am I crazy? While I’m not lying when I say
I’m a little bit unhinged,
but there’s still purpose to this binge.
Equestria will crumble and decay!
“♪No I’m not some weak-willed fool
I’ll topple the current rule!
Then this whole kingdom will be all mine!♪”
Back in Canterlot Palace, Celestia turned back towards her companions. She began urging them back into the palace, desperation showing through her normally neutral expression.
“♪You must escape before it’s too late
Find a way to save the day.
Oh! I’d be lying if I said
I don’t fear that I may fall to
him, then what would befall you.
I can’t let it end here with us all dead!
“♪For I still hold one regret;
I’ve business to settle yet.
Oh Hive Lord Noir! I’m coming for your head!♪”
With that, Celestia took to the skies. Setting off in the direction of Noir. Vantas took a glance at the alicorn, then at the motley crew she’d left behind. Then he gestured to follow her. Rainbow Dash gave a nod of approval, followed shortly by Twilight, and then Pyrope and then Maryam... finally, Future Dash gave her agreement, though rather reluctantly. The decision was unanimous, and the group reentered the palace to search for a ground-level exit.
Meanwhile, Noir had busted through a building and found himself in the residential district, families of ponies looking on in terror as he rampaged through the city.
“♪Finally the moment has arrived
To make sure that no pony survives♪!”
Celestia caught sight of the mad changeling just as he landed in the streets, crunching the stone beneath his claws.
“♪Oh I won’t arrive in time
Noir will commit this heinous crime!
And these innocents will-”
“Die!” Noir screamed as his horn lit red and the dreaded Red Miles spread across the streets, tearing buildings apart and skewering any ponies who came too close. “Ahahahahahaha!”
-----
There was much clattering of both the hoof and shoe variety as the Elements of Harmony bounded out the front gate, followed closely by the Doomed Gods. They found the streets swelled with ponies, nobles and workers alike streaming through the roads in a seething mass, all desperate to escape.
“Oh shit,” Vantas groaned at the sight of the clotted streets. “We’ll never get to Noir at this rate. Pyrope,” he turned towards the Seer. “Can you fly up there, see how far back the crowd goes?”
Pyrope nodded in response. Spreading her wings, she leapt into the air, floating up level to some of the smaller buildings. “Th3 l1n3 go3s b4ck for 4 long w4y,” Pyrope shouted down. “1n f4ct, 1 th1nk 1t l34ds 4ll th3 w4y b4ck to…” She traced the crowd backwards through the curving streets, towards a part of town where rising apartment towers obscured her view… save of course for plumes of smoke and flashes of light. Glancing back down to the waiting trolls below, she said, “1t looks l1ke 1t go3s 4ll th3 w4y b4ck to th3 sourc3. 1f w3 follow th3 scr34m1ng pon13s, w3 f1nd No1r.”
“Wait a moment,” Fluttershy interrupted, hovering up next to Pyrope. Glancing towards the chaos just out of sight, her eyes widened. “That’s the residential district!”
“Residential district?” Twilight asked.
“Twilight! Your parents!” Spike screamed, his eyes widening in horror at the thought while Twilight looked a tad sickened by the thought.
“Applebloom!” Applejack cried. “Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle! Where did you say they were heading off to?”
“The shopping district,” Rarity replied, “but you know how they have a habit of getting into trouble. We need to get there, and quickly.”
“Yeah, but then we’re just back at the original problem,” Vantas said, gesturing towards the crowd of ponies still stampeding through the roads.
“Alright guys, calm down,” Nitram interrupted. “There’s a very simple solution to all this.”
“Oh? And just what might that be?” Vantas asked in a rather sarcastic tone. In response, Nitram raised his hand, which was surrounded with an aura of blue. The rest of the party was wrapped in a similar blue and with a burst of wind, whisked into the air. By Nitram’s command, the group soared above the city on a quick breeze, whooshing above the crowd towards the residential district.
As the ponies made an aerial approach, their view of the battlefield ahead was made unobscured. Twilight’s eyes narrowed against the rushing winds as she struggled to make sense of the image before her. The residential district was in complete disarray. Debris was strewn across the wrecked roads, fires blazed on shards of pulverized wood, and still there were ponies fleeing the scene, tugging family members along or else simply sprinting for their lives. Nitram set the group down in a relatively empty portion of road, where the streets were crushed but abandoned, the only noise being the crackling of flames and the occasional burst of noise that promised that danger wasn’t far around the corner.
“Alright then,” Vantas said, addressing the group. “We seem to be in a relatively safe part of town, so here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re splitting in teams. Captor, Megido, Zahhak, Leijon, Ampora, and Peixes- you’re the Blue Team. Serket, Nitram, Makara, Maryam, Pyrope, and I are the Red Team. You got that? Good, because I’m not repeating it.
“You lot,” he said, pointing to Applejack and Rarity, “take both Dashes and the Blue Team. Find your siblings. Help out anyone who needs it. And you lot,” he turned this time to Twilight, Fluttershy, and Pinkie, “are stuck with the Red Team. Now let’s get going. We’ve got a Sovereign Slayer to slaughter.”
“Now hold it a moment,” Rainbow Dash interjected. “You think I’m gonna let you guys go fight Noir? I’m coming along too.”
“Dash,” Twilight said. “This isn’t something you should be excited about. You heard Future Dash- if you come with us you could die.”
“Exactly!” Dash responded. “That’s exactly why I’ve gotta come along. You need my help to stop him. That guy’s gone too far and it’s about time that I-”
“Oh sweet Celestia would you shut up!?” Future Dash interrupted. “I mean holy hell, are you even listening to yourself? Was I really that arrogant back then?”
“Oh what are you talking about?” Rainbow Dash shot back. “Jack Noir killed Luna. He bucking killed Luna and I’m gonna make him pay for it!”
“You’re damned right Noir killed Luna!” Future Dash retaliated. “And you know what else he did? He attacked a city and spread mass destruction, likely trapping innocents in burning buildings or collapsed homes and somebody has to save them. Like, right now!”
“But-”
“No!” Future Dash shrieked. “No! It took so much to get me to learn this lesson, so you better be sure I’m gonna carve it into you! It doesn’t matter that Noir killed somepony you looked up to, it matters that he killed somepony! And it doesn’t matter that you swear an oath to stop him, it matters that he gets stopped! So you’re going to stop whining, you’re going to come with me, and we’re gonna find Scootaloo and probably save a whole bunch of innocents, alright?”
Rainbow Dash gave her future self a hard look. Then, she turned and shot away through the air, jetting in the general direction of the explosions. “Rainbow!” Fluttershy cried, making to chase after her. Future Dash put a hoof on her shoulder, stopping the pegasus.
“Let her go,” Future Dash said. “This is a lesson she has to learn the hard way.” There was silence for several seconds before she spoke up again. “Well, don’t just stand there! Go after her! You aren’t supposed to let her be killed or anything!” Fluttershy and Twilight, taken a little off-guard by the alicorn’s behavior, turned after several moments of hesitation and were off down the streets, the Red Team in tow. Future Dash turned and, accompanied by an uneasy Applejack and Rarity, lead the Blue Team in the opposite direction.
-----
Locating Celestia and Noir, and by extension Rainbow Dash, turned out to be much more work than anticipated. Though their initial plan consisted of “Follow explosions, fight Noir,” the blasts of sound that signified another confrontation echoed and bounced through the crumbling streets, and it sometimes seemed as if they were emanating from all around… and given the power levels of the parties involved, they very well could have been.
And so, as they reached another crossroads in the abandoned district, Twilight’s ears perked up as she caught a hint of a hoofstep coming just around the corner. She motioned for the team to press itself flat against a building as she carefully poked her head around the corner. “Yaaa!” Twilight cried, stumbling backwards in surprise as a face appeared in her view. The other pony screamed too, stumbling back in a similar manner, almost tumbling to the ground before somepony behind her caught her.
“Easy there, Velvet,” the stallion said. Turning towards Twilight, he gave an uneasy grin. “You know, Twilight, you really shouldn’t scare your mother like that.”
Night Light wasn’t allowed another word edgewise as Twilight leapt forwards and wrapped Twilight Velvet and him in a sudden, yet nonetheless tight, embrace. Night Light’s breath left his lungs and he stood their sputtering and coughing until Twilight got the message to loosen up a little.
“Hey there honey,” Twilight Velvet said. “It’s been awhile.”
“What are you doing here?” Twilight suddenly cried, breaking the hug. “You need to be getting as far from here as possible! There’s a psychotic killer on the loose!”
“We know, Twilight,” Night Light said. “Which is exactly why we stayed behind. Whenever something like this happens, you’re always tangled right up in the middle of it. Not today!”
“What are you talking about, Dad?” Twilight said. “I can handle myself, you know that.”
“Twilight,” Twilight Velvet spoke up, “there is a line that we can’t allow you to cross here. While we were searching for you, we caught sight of that alabanical thing fighting Princess Celestia. What’s worse is that I think it was winning!”
“Well then I can’t just sit here! I’ve got to help her!” Twilight argued.
“No,” Night Light said. “Twilight, we love you. We love you very, very much, and it’s only because of that love that we can tell you that if you fight that thing you will die!”
“Uh… h3y. Tw1l1ght’s mom 4nd d4d.” The arguing family turned to see Pyrope, looking unamused. “Look, 1 h4t3 to g3t 1n th3 w4y of f4m1ly d1sput3s 4nd wh4tnot, but w3’r3 k1nd of on 4 sch3dul3 h3r3.”
“Hey, stay out of this!” Twilight shot back.
“Look Twilight, honey,” Twilight Velvet said. “I know you’ve done some amazing things before. Amazing, impossible things, but this… this is just too much. We saw what that thing could do, Twilight, and we’re not letting you blindly throw yourself at it.”
“No!” Twilight said. “No. Mom, Dad, I am an independant adult. I care about you both, but I also care about Princess Celestia! I care about Luna! I care about this city and all its citizens and making sure that nopony else gets hurt! So I’m sorry, but Princess Celestia can’t stop Noir on her own, so we’re going to help!”
“I’m… sorry to hear that,” Night Light said. Then his lips curled into a devilish grin. “Wait- no I’m not. I always hoped that this would all come to blows eventually.”
“Didn’t we all?” Twilight Velvet replied, sporting the same sinister smirk.
“Mom?” Twilight asked, her voice quivering a tad as she slowly took a step backwards.
“Mom? Nope,” Twilight Velvet smiled. A burst of green flames and instead a familiar changeling took the mare’s place, wearing a black suit with a diamond emblem. “Only your friendly neighborhood Director here.”
Another burst of fire and Night Light became the Hadean Batterer, already making gestures with his hooves as if he were cracking his knuckles. Of course he wasn’t cracking his knuckles, as there are no knuckles in hooves, but the gesture was intimidating all the same. Similar fireballs flashed up all around the group, as more and more changelings appeared on the scene. Finally, with a feral roar and the smashing of masonry, a changeling none of the team had seen before arrived, riding atop some sort of snarling behemoth. It was like… a cross between… actually, what the hell even is that thing?
“PD, what the hell is that thing?” DD remarked, looking the creature up and down.
PD shrugged. “It’s a drake-dog. Might have gone a bit overboard with the resources ya gave me.” He grinned. “Intelligent enough to take orders, tough enough to bust a few skulls. And he’s allllllll under my control.”
“...Cool. Whatever. Just make sure that thing doesn’t eat us,” DD replied.
PD rolled his eyes. “The thing has a name, and that name is Snap.”
“Well bust my bulge on a giant statue of my middle finger, ain’t this a shitty situation,” Vantas swore, drawing his sickles.
“Ah don’t worry. We can t8ke em,” Serket grinned, fingering her dice.
“Hold it,” Twilight ordered. Confronting DD, she gave a disgusted glower. “Where are my actual parents?”
“Ah yes. The pièce de résistance,” DD grinned. “CD, bring them out.”
A stubby changeling arrived on the scene, dragging behind him two ponies bound together by a spare Stretch Armstrong doll. “Twilight!” Twilight Velvet cried out, looking up to catch her daughter’s eyes, while Night Light struggled against Stretch’s rubbery arms.
“Dad… Mom…” Twilight whispered, her eyes clouding with fear.
DD gave a groan. “CD, did you forget the rope again?”
CD shook his head. “Sure didn’t boss. Just thought I’d try something new for a change! Nopony’s ever held captives with a Stretch Armstrong before, and I’d eat my C4-filled hat if one did!”
Vantas blinked as a scene from the famous Midnight Crew Intermission came to his mind. “You know, Redglare, I think our Clubs Deuce actually IS Clubs Deuce. Like- the real one. From Homestuck. Which must also be real.”
“You m34n 1t w4sn’t obv1ous? Th3 M1dn1ght Cr3w h4s 4lw4ys b33n th3 M1dn1ght Cr3w, d1scount1ng th4t pr3t3nt1ous dr1v3l 4nd h1s sn4k3-pup or som3th1ng.”
“I heard that!”
The two trolls snapped their heads at the aforementioned bug. They gulped. The drake-dog (named Snap) towered above the Red Team, emitting a low, intimidating growl. As the Trolls drew their weapons and Twilight nervously eyed her captured parents, every reader’s eyes lay glued to the screen, wondering if all this build-up would finally pay off.
It did.
End of Chapter- pssh. No, I’m kidding. Who the hell would try to pull something like that? Well… besides me.
A burst of light flared for a moment over the tops of the buildings, followed by the whoosh of air that signified a massive explosion. Seconds later, a bruised and bloodied Celestia cleared the tip of an apartment complex, slamming into a parallel building and dropping to the ground. Moments later, a black shadow swooshed over the rooftops, casting a shadow on the group below.
“Boss’s here! Get back!” DD ordered as he turned to dash away from the scene, the rest of the changelings mirroring his actions. Celestia’s eyes cracked open as she struggled to her hooves- that is, until a blast of green magic struck her down once more. In midair, Noir made to follow through his attack and was stopped only when a blur of color slammed into his side. He was knocked aside, for a second- then the Hive Lord lunged towards the pegasus, and there was a sound like a butcher chopping a piece of liver, and a shrill scream that echoed through eardrums even after it was heard, as Rainbow Dash fell from the sky and crashed to the ground at Twilight’s hooves. Hate it though she may, Twilight’s head reflexively snapped away, gagging at the sight and scent of blood, and it was only through force of will that she could turn to face her friend, and noticed how all the red poured from an empty socket.
And then there was the crunching of stone as the black shape landed before the group, his powerful wings stretching across the road as he cracked with sparks of green and grinning like a maniac. “Well it’s about time you lot showed up. The Vendetta Itinerary ain’t filled out yet.”
The trolls’ only response was to charge towards the Hive Lord, a response that Noir met with a smirk. A slight flex of his wings released a shockwave of green, a burst of power that sent the trolls tumbling back, sprawled to the ground. A blur of pink signified Pinkie dashing towards Noir from the side- Noir batted her away with the flick of a wrist. A streak of yellow launched itself at him from the air- Noir a short burst of magic sent Fluttershy crashing to the ground.
Twilight Sparkle, however, only held still, staring at Noir in horror as he approached. She could see herself, her exact expression of pure fear reflected in Noir’s newly acquired triangular sunglasses, and she saw as, gradually, terror gave way to anger.
Twilight charged the changeling, her horn lighting with violet as she rushed towards Noir. The Hive Lord’s only response was to widen his grin, prompting Twilight to gallop faster. With a swing of her head she released a blazing bolt of magic. For several moments Noir was a blur- then he was behind her- then she was thrown forwards, and crashed and tumbled down the street. As she tried to raise herself to her hooves, a familiar voice called her name.
“Twilight!” Night Light called as he struggled evermore against his bonds. “Run! Save yourself, while you still can!”
“No,” Twilight responded. “Dad, we already had this talk. I’m not leaving you or anyone else behind.”
“Twilight, we’re serious,” Twilight Velvet ordered as she squirmed in Stretch’s elastic embrace. “Get out of here now, before he-” Velvet was cut off as a stream of green fire washed over the two ponies, the roar of flame so loud that even their screams went unheard, and so potent that seconds later all that remained was ash.
“Ah, that’s better. She sure was getting annoying,” Noir said, blowing the smoke from a claw. A flash of light in the corner of his eye caught his attention. “Eh?”
Noir turned to find Twilight collapsed on the ground, tears streaming from her eyes, and he noticed just in time as the aura around the librarian’s horn blacken like the sky at twilight. Then, there was a flare of energy so fierce that it shattered windows, raised clouds of settled dust, and caused Noir to stumble backwards. His gaze returned to Twilight Sparkle to find her quaking in the bloodeldritch throes of the broodfester tongues. Her skin had darkened to a shade resembling that of the black tears bled from the corruption-weary eyes of fifty thousand imaginary occultists, and from her body drifted wisps of the antiwhite aurashrouds, tendrils of dark energy creeping around her figure. It was painfully obvious to all present that she’d slipped into the fabled blackdeath trance of the woegothics, and in doing so had gone of the deep end in pretty much every conceivable way.
Twilight Sparkle had officially gone grimdark.
“Oh shit,” Vantas muttered as Twilight began to levitate off the ground. With a roar of rage, she launched herself at Noir, her horn aglow as she seized him with her telekinesis and flung him into a building. Noir recovered from the attack, prying himself from the smoking hole left in the building. He was simply a blur, dodging bolts of dark magic as he sped towards Twilight, and knocked her away through the air. A flash of green and he teleported behind Twilight, his sword outstretched. Twilight’s horn flared again, and a shield bubble of pure black surrounded her, blocking Noir’s attack. Noir wound his arm back again to deliver a stronger strike, but found the shield bubble suddenly reversing, as it ejected Twilight and encased him inside. Twilight gave a sly smirk as, not a second later, she sent the bubble shooting towards the ground like an asteroid, blasting Noir into the streets.
A wave of dust and debris washed over the trolls as they found themselves occupied with the Midnight Crew and their company of changelings… although not too occupied. It was, in all honesty, almost a trivial matter for Nitram to send a whirlwind to rip through a group of insects, scattering them in the Breeze, or for an opponent to find themselves suddenly trip and smash their bone bulge against a rock under Serket’s influence. The drake-dog, with its hulking strength, supported by its master’s pyrotechnics, proved to be a bit more of a challenge. Maryam kept busy avoiding powerful blows from the Hadean Batterer, while Pyrope and DD were locked in a fierce cane-strife. Off to the side, CD was playing blackjack with Makara and Pinkie, and none of them could see through each others’ poker faces.
Fluttershy, guarding Rainbow Dash’s unconscious body, let out perhaps the slightest squeak of fear as she found herself surrounded by several changelings, each eyeing her threateningly. She took a gulp, and lowered her head, making ready to pounce. She didn’t get a chance, though, as with a flurry of slashes Vantas left the bugs bleeding in the streets. The Threshecutioner took a moment to admire his handiwork, then turned back towards Fluttershy. “You OK?” he asked.
“I’m good, thank you,” Fluttershy answered gratefully. She glanced backwards, reaffirming that Rainbow was still OK… or at least as OK as she could be in this state. She glanced upwards, and spotted Twilight raining bursts of dark magic at Noir, stray blasts turning rubble into oranges or pineapples. “So… just what happened to Twilight?” Fluttershy asked.
“She went grimdark,” Vantas said. “She’s pretty much been lost in her rage and surrendered her soul to the eldritch deities of the furthest ring, and mastered forbidden arts of black majyyks.”
“What? Twilight would never do something like that!” Fluttershy argued.
“Look for yourself,” Vantas replied, pointing a finger towards the ashen mare as she ripped a streetlight from the road and proceeded to engage Noir in a duel.
“Hey, it’s not like it’s a 8ad thing,” Serket said as she dodged around several molotovs. “I mean, look at her go. She’s tearing Noir apart!”
“Serket, This Is Most Certainly A Bad Thing,” Maryam said, rubbing her sore fist and glancing at HB, knocked out cold on the ground. “This Is In Fact A Terrible Terrible Thing. Under The Doomtrance Of The Outer Gods, Twilight’s Rage Will Become Something Uncontrollable, Utterly Unstoppable. However, She Still Isn’t Strong Enough To Beat Noir. She’s Just Going To Continue Throwing Herself At Him Until He Kills Her.” As if to rub in Maryam’s point, Noir sliced her streetlamp in half, seized part of it in his telekinesis, and batted her into a supermarket. Twilight emerged from the hole for a second, before Noir levelled the building with an enormous green laser.
Noir gave a brisk laugh at his handiwork, and made to turn away. Then, something colorful shot through the air, slamming into him and tackling him into a building. “Hey, cockroach,” Future Dash growled. “Shut up.”
A blast of white magic sent the changelings scattering. Ampora gave his wand a bit of a flourish as the Blue Team poured onto the scene. DD took one glance at the new arrivals, and whistled. Seconds later there were bursts of green flame and the changelings were gone.
“Well, it’s a8out time you lot showed up,” Serket grumbled as Applejack and Rarity caught up with the trolls. These two were closely followed by the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and then the Epsilon Squad.
“Terribly sorry. We simply ran into a bit of trouble,” Rarity said. One glance around the street however, and she noticed Celestia lying unconscious on the ground, and Fluttershy working to treat Rainbow Dash’s wounds. “Oh. Oh dear. It seems you’ve hit a bad spot too.”
“There are changelings crawlin’ all over this place! We had to save these three from a big group of ‘em,” Applejack explained, gesturing to the CMC.
“Hey. We were doing a fine job of that, thank you very much,” Cloud Cover objected as he and the rest of the squad moved to attend to Celestia.
“Well, you’re gonna need to do a better job of it now,” Vantas said. “Twilight’s gone nuts, and we need to stop Noir before he kills her.”
“Can do,” Peixes grinned, hefting her trident.
“Hold 1t 4 mom3nt,” Pyrope interrupted. “Wh3r3’s th4t oth3r m4r3? Th3 blu3 on3?”
“Trixie?” Applebloom asked. “Uh…” she glanced behind her, then turned her head this way and that, scanning the block. “Oh no! I think we lost her!”
“Eh. She’s probably fine,” Rune Blaze said. “She’s a strong unicorn. She can take care of herself.”
“Private, a mare’s life could be on the line here,” Escutcheon admonished. “This is no time to be acting like that!”
“1 couldn’t 4gr33 mor3,” Pyrope said. “1 d1dn’t g3t much off Tr1x13, but sh3’s 4 strong w1ll3d 1nd1v1du4l w1th 4 th1rst for 4tt3nt1on. 1f 1 h4d to gu3ss…” Pyrope put her hands to her temples, and concentrated. A small, flashing mind symbol appeared on her forehead for several moments, before fading away. “Just 4s 1 thought,” Pyrope announced. “Sh3’s 4t C4nt3rlot C4stl3, prob4bly br1ng1ng out th3 3l3m3nts of H4rmony.”
“Canterlot Castle? Huh, what a coinkydink,” Pinkie said with a cheer. “That looks like where they are heading.” Those present and conscious followed her line of sight, and spotted Noir flying off, continually peppered with magic blasts from the pursuing Twilight and Future Dash. It was clear to all that their route lead straight to Canterlot Castle.
“Alright you lot,” Vantas ordered. “Get Rainbow and Celestia and come on. We’re heading for the Palace.”
-----
A beam of color by the name of Future Dash streaked toward the castle, and raising debris as she smashed into the roof. Seconds later Twilight landed next to her, bouncing once before she slid across the tile. Both were barely getting to their hooves when Hive Lord Noir landed gracefully on the roof. “Pssh. That the best ya can do?” he grinned.
“No. No it’s not,” Future Dash replied, struggling to stand.
“H͕̻̳̗͎̪̥̱͓̺̞̰̥͔̪̦̟̯̘̊̉͂ͯ̔̓̽̎ͪ̈́̀͊̓̿̐́͞ḁ̵̢͈͚͚̭̣̩̰̰̺̺̝̗̞͂̏̽̆̈́͛̇̊ͫͣ͛ͦ̊̋ͬ̾́̚ú̸̵̴͇̱̤̹͙̘̠͚̹͈̞̮͍̔ͨͯͫ̋͊̏ͯ̑ͤ̍͛ͫ̚ͅg̢̞̼̤͇̥̦͚̝̊ͩͦͤ̈ͧ̐ͤ̀͒̋̍ͩ͐ͧ̓͋̍́͡h̸ͤ̓̓ͧ̇̌̈́̓ͤ́͏̴̣̱͍͙̬̮̘̦̩̖̦͇͈͉̯͢a͐ͬ̒̂ͥ͗ͭͮ̍ͦ̈̅͏͏҉͍̩͍̱ų̅̂͒̎̑ͤ̉ͣ́̌ͨ̈́̄҉͏̬͙̖̠͈͓͍̮̩̫̩ǔ͔̤͖̙̘̬͎͓̜͍̺͙̜̺͚̫̗ͧ̃͆͆̇̓͑̿ͬ̚̕͝h̴̡̝͈̤͙̞͈̆ͭͧ̿ͦͬ̀ͯ͗͂̉̈͝t̵̢̼͈͉̯̻̪̥̝̯̗͚̳̺͍̟̠͐̅͂̏̇ͯͣ̌͂̐̄ͪ͊ͮ̕͢͜ȟ̷̨̼̠̬̭͆̐̌̉ͣ̃̆͆͋ͫ͘͞͡ȓ̑͒ͤͩͯ͗͋̃ͮ̈ͨ̍̚҉̛̬̣̦͎̙̘̖̰̳̖̕ͅ'̧̪̱͔̻̥̥̺̮̺̯̭̩̙͙̥̩̐̉̐̀̿̈́̂͐ͤ̋̾ͥ̋͛ͩ̕̕͟ļ̶̧͋͋̾̍ͤ̾̒̃ͦ̉͏̼̱͚̙̯̙̭̖̭…” Twilight growled.
Noir leapt forwards towards Twilight, but instead simply crashed into a shield bubble. He stumbled backwards, and Future Dash burst forwards, slamming into him as he was vulnerable. She turned around, rushing back for a second blow, but was caught off guard as Noir’s claw shot out, and grabbed her around the neck. Noir gave a threatening grin as Dash struggled against his grip. An enormous blast of black, however, sent both him and Dash flying in different directions.
Noir scowled towards Twilight, and lit his horn. A blaze of green met a blaze of black, and after several seconds green broke through and sent Twilight sprawling. Noir turned away towards Future Dash, and was met with an onslaught of blurring punches. Several hit their mark before Noir raised his own hooves and punched back. A flurry of blows and Future Dash was launched into the air. Noir smirked as a bolt of green lightning arced from his horn, and Dash gave a scream of pain as electricity coursed through her. She fell to the roof, smoking.
“F͑̉ͬ̍̊ͦͫ̋̔̋̎̚͠҉͇̘̺̖̩̙̻̥̜͖͍͓̮͕ͅR̴̸͍̙͙̟̹͎͍ͭͯ̎̑̆͌U̵̢̧͎̰͙̦̫̥̲̯͇̓ͮ͊ͭͦ̒ͣ͒̚'̸̧͕͙̜̬͓̰̞͍̪̣͍̼͇̪͑͐̐̐̅̋ͣͯ̿ͤ̔͂͌̚F̛͖̝̥͇͖̱̱̩͓̯̫̙͍̙̞̼̠̗̬ͫ̑̇̍͌ͧ̔́͠͠͡Ṟ̷̸͙̻͙̥̳͕̠͚̬͙̗̇̀̂ͮ͗ͣͯ̍͌͂̾ͫ͐̌̈̀̿̊͂́͝͠Ņ̛̘̖̰̹̓ͥ̌̃ͫ́͛̈̓́͋̀̇͊̃͊̌̃́͟U̡̿̇̉͗̊͛ͣ̊͂͏̛͉̙̩̠͎̳͡H̶̡͙̦̖̥̗̘̺̱̯̥͚́ͣ̈ͭ̍͝͡Ụ̡̮̲̠͍͉͉̦̜͚͓̝̂̎͋̆͋̑͒̊ͤ͘͟H̸̡̹̫̖̞̣̫̘͎̙͑͆͛̅̾̌̎̑͆ͫ̑ͤ͗ͫ̀̕͝ͅ ̴̧̻̟̪̼͕̬͎͔̜̠͚̹̞̯̜̞̳̬̌̈͋ͮ̓ͪ͌̓ͪͤͬ̎ͤͦͮ͑J̷̓̏ͯͭ͏̹̦̖̙̙G͉͕͈̲͔͎̳̗̩̯͂̈͒̊ͭ̋͂̚̕͠O̵̵͔̬̭͚̞̣͖̳͔̠̯͗ͦ̑ͭͪͨ̇͌ͧ̔ͫͣͯ̂ͥ̚ͅG̷̢̜͙̫͓̽͛̏̆͛͛́̅̚͜ͅ ̶̨̞̣͕ͭͪ͆ͤ̔̊͛̚͟͡Ḫ̢̟̝̖̙̺͂̒̓̐̈́ͧ̀͋̅ͬ͑ͤ̆H̢̛͇͖͚͍̺͓̲̼͈̱͉ͭ̆̄͒͆ͫ̋̑ͥ̾͆ͫͣ͒̇̚Ǵ̌ͥ́ͧ͒ͩ̌͌ͩ̉ͣͭ͏̸̴̵̶̖̼͉̗̬̞̳̟̘̞Ḩ͎̪̥̫̰ͦͫ̈́͒̉ͣͥͧ͂̅ͥ͒̿̒̓͟͟͢!̵̛̛̭̥̱̯̠͍̜͖̺̖̤̰̘̭̺̠̣̽̓̒͑ͧͤ̏̀͋ͫ̕͢” Twilight screamed, dashing towards Noir. Her horn bubbled with black, purple, and green as she conjured a chunk of enormous black crystal. She hurled the rock at Noir, who responded by simply blasting through it. Noir took to the skies, Twilight giving chase. He reached the peak of his ascent, and noticing Twilight nearing ever closer, sent a bolt of green downwards. Twilight erected another shield bubble, repelling the laser. Noir turned, and jetted towards the unicorn at furious speeds. A cone of air formed around him as he reached mach speeds- then a shockwave of green fire spread from his wake as he broke through the sound barrier. Twilight’s feeble bubble didn’t stand a chance.
When Twilight’s eyes opened, she found Noir’s claws wrapped around her throat, quickly cutting off her air supply. She glanced to her right, and saw fires of green burning throughout the city. She glanced to her left, and saw the roof riddled with cracks and scorch marks, held together only by Unicorn Magic and Earth Pony Architecture. She glanced towards Noir, and saw green crackling behind his blue eyes.
“Game over, kid,” Noir grinned. “And last words?”
“...Ģ̶̺͉̮̩̯͕̭̗͙̀̌̓̊̐̀̑͑́ͧ̿ͭ̄̐ͥ̎͑̆̾'̛̻̼͑̈́ͫ̍ͅͅh̷̦͍͈̣͙͍̺͈͉̹̤͕̝̩̝̮͔̘̍̌̆̾ͪ̊̉ͣ̇̒̔ͫ̅ͩͣ̇́͡r̸͎̜̝̘̪͔͉͚̣̮̥͖ͯ̏̍̈ͮ̏͗ͧ̏̑͠ò̡̗̘̙̗̘͚̩͇̭͔̀ͨͦ͆̓͌͠ồ̯̩͓̘̫̲͍̠͈̥͚̭̱̲̍ͫ͐̊͋́͢͞ͅg̡̪͔̫͍̮̠͈̽̄̄̓̉̏̓͂͐̃̽̒͛͘ ̸̞̝͕̮̙̬͕̪̲̎͂͐̌̓̎́̿͆̄̓̓̄ͨ̍́̚f͐̈̂̊̍̏̆̋͂ͣͨ̓̓͂̆ͣ̚̚͏͓̯̘̤̪͚͈͓̻̫̟̳̳̩̜͖ḭ̧̤̖͕̠̱̹͈̹͈̦̘ͮ͆̀͐̓ͦ͌̑̍̿ͫͤͤͦͨ́̉̔́̚͞b̴̵ͨͭ͑̓̅̍ͩ̍ͦ͗̑ͮ̓͊͐ͤ͡͏̹̹̞͈̖̩̦̳͉͖͉̰̩̹̻̤͓ͅ'̶͇͉̱͎̲͇̪̠̦̠͎̲̟̙͔̖ͥ͒̎̈́͜͞t̷̟͔̦̥͈̽̎̓ͮ̃ͣ͢͠h̶̛̲̝͔̗͎͖̫̠͔͎̣͆͒́ͬ ͧ̊͋̈́ͨ̏͌̄͑͌̔͏̭̭̱̜̦̭͎̗͉̤͖̳̹͝m̰̱̯͙͋̀̍̎ͦ̐̊̋͌ͭ͗͜ù̧̫̱̬̮̮͑̇͂͂ͣ̑̀̽́̃ͪ̕r̶̛̾̈ͦ̄̓̎ͨ̀͗͏̝͕̠̝̮̣̖̩̺̥͉̳͙̭͚̝͚ͅ ̷͔͈̘͓̤͍̰̰̝̻̲͙͛͊̈́ͤͦͤ̈́ͧͪͪ̏̂̋̔͂̍ͭ̀̓̀ͅb̎ͭ̑̉̇̓͊ͥͥ̈́̂̿̎̍̇̄̍͒͟҉̦̹̥͎̪͈͕̯͕̀͢͜r̷̗͈̺̪͕͈̘̱͚͙̹̭̾̈́̒̋̄ͭͩ͊ͨͮ̀ͤ̍͛̕͝u̬̰̜̻̖̗͕̤̜̬̜͉̺̰̦̫̞̯͌͆͊̓ͭ́̊͛̑͒ͧ͌̿͆͜͝p̅̈́ͨ̓̊ͬ͆͗҉̛̻͇͙͕͡ ̄̃̿͏̸̢̡̛̘̺̯̣̳̤̱̼b̴̵̞̜̹̥̼̰͖̭̬̠͖̰̘̝̦̖̦̠̊̎̌ͧ̈́̐̊̇ͥ̿ͦ͂̄̿͜r̷̤̙̻̥̳̙̟̯ͤ̿̍ͯͧ͗͌̊ͥ̒͆̚ȕ͌̄̐͑͗ͭͥ͏̧͈̲̱̫̫̯̭̲̹̝̟ͅp̰̱̻̝̯̯̝͔̪̹̮̝͖̳̌̍̑͗ͥ̑͐͆ͥ̕̕̕͜͢,” Twilight said.
“Huh?”
“Gͨ̐̊͛̿̊͑̂̇ͦ͐̏̒̿ͪ̚͏̵̨͉̻̟̠̰̟̹̪͎͉̭̬͡'̸̵̧̧͍̬̩̤̝̮͉͉̼͎̱͎̦̫̬͚̰̬̄͌͗ͯ͋̇͒̆̍̾͂ͫ͆̓͗͠H̱̳̠̙̹̺̤͈̖̲̤̮̑̓͐ͥͦ̓ͮ̉̽̅̂̈́ͨ̋͛͘͜ͅͅR͓͇͎͓̜̫͙̤̩̜̪͕͔ͥ̇̾̌͋͟͢ͅO̵̡̪̰͇̙̟̬̓ͤͧ̃ͧ̈́͋̓́̎̊̂͛̀͟͞Ȏ́̀ͧ̾͆ͦͬ͒͐́̈͐ͤ͌̓ͫ͠҉̛̦̜̣̙̪̫̙͖̤̟̰̹̭͓̰̱͞͞G̛̘̬̩͍͐̓̊ͦ́̍̑ͭ͊̈͛͋̓̔ͮ͟ ̋ͦͨ̃ͮ͛̑ͯͧ̈̾͆ͨ̿ͤ͏̛̬̖̪̗̮̪͇̱̹F̷ͬ͒͐͐ͤͩͤ͛ͯͥͨ̓͋͞҉̴͖̱̯̗̦͎̯̬̦̻͉̠̤̺͢ͅỊ̢̡͚͎͕̬̯̰̯͓̫̥̹̘͈̳̹̺͑́͑́̾͌̓̃͑̑̒ͬ͛ͯͩ̈́͠ͅB̴̛͙͇̞͛̌͊̑̃̀̌͒ͦ͋͂̕͢ͅ'̡͔̦͔̫̩ͮͤ̈ͤͨͮ͂̚͜T̶̲̮̼̣̍̾̇ͤ͒̌̽͋ͥͪ́̚̕͢͡H̞͈͇̖̟̗̠̬͉͙̬̙ͨ̀͊̃̀̚͘ ̲̖̰̻̰̭̄ͫ͌̃̀̊͂͌ͧ̇͆̅ͤ̅ͦ̕͟͢͟M̑̒ͤ̈́ͪ̄͑ͦ̔͗͋̈́́ͥ́̚̚̕͟҉̡͖͚͉̬͚̣̫͍̺̝̪̦̯̹̹ͅU̒ͨ̾̍̅ͩ͐ͫ͂͒̾͂͏̴̛̪̮͈̩̣͓̞̙̙Ŗ̙̼͖̹̤͕̬̫̥̞̘̘̟̖̫̩̪̤ͦ͑̆̓͗͌͂̈ͫ̀͜͡ ̇̌̔̐ͥ̓̈̾ͥ́̅ͮ͋̎͂ͣ̃͊̊́͏͔̫̞͎B̧̘͙̲͖̣͔̻̳̤͈̞̈́̓͐͆ͤ͊̈́̈ͩ͑͒͑̇͛ͫ̀̚̚͘R̛̜̻͍̥̜̫̉̾ͮ̀̈̎͆͋͒̃̓ͨ̌͘͟Ű̡̼̳͉̘̩̂̆͌͑ͦ̊ͯ͊͒͑͆̌ͭ̃͒̌͆͒̕Pͨ̾ͦ̔̓ͪ̃̐ͯ͏̟̣͎͉̳̱͓̦̙͉̻̝̦͖͎̲͍͎̙͟ ̷̨̤͔͇̗̦̠̘̣̱̻͉͖̯̺̟̥͉ͯͪ̋̈́ͨ͂̓̒́ͯ̂̀ͤ͞͠B̫̖̮̙͙͔͍̗̦͈͙̯͎̹͕̿ͨ̈̿̽̄̀ͪͭͩ̽ͭ̈́͛̓̉̏ͮ͟͢͞R͗͑ͫͭ̄̏̃ͨ̎̊҉́͏̱̝͇͉͔͕͔̰̲͚̪̭͎͉̭̱̝̟͡U̸̴̗̜̥̼̭͖̪̘͒̂̏̓̇̐̆̎̂̚ͅP̴̡̢̙̩͔̪̪͇͒ͫ̓̇͛ͥ̿ͣ̎͐̋̉̃̈́̂!̩̤͖̜̰͚̗̼̗̼̹͇̝͕̦̑ͦ̓̂̈́͋̽͋͐̄ͩ͒ͧͪ͆ͥ͛̕͡”
There was a blast of blue and Noir was sent flying. Twilight dropped to the ground, and glanced towards her savior.
“Twilight?” Trixie asked. “Twilight, what happened to you?”
“Ṅ̬̪̭̭͚̖̤̥͍̩͍͍̮͇̈́ͯ̍̽͑̾ͬ̽̍̑͐̋ͣ̄ͧ͋͐̔͘̕͝͡y̶̸̨͎̤͚̮̠̝̘̳̍̒̔̀̏̿͂̊ͦͅu̼̯̪̘̰͆ͫͨ̄̉̈͋̈̉͆̌̉̋̈́ͧ̔ͦ͛̌͘͞ȓ̊̔̓̑̇̐̐́҉҉̬̟̪̞͍̜͚̖͖̱̟̲̼͙̦̪͚b̸̆̔̌̇̈́͜҉̷͈̠͕̭͙̗͇͈̥̟̟̼͚̹̗̠ͅ ̢̛̪͙̩̣̲̙̜̫͙̝͇͕̳̟̯̠̬̦̻̒̒͋̌ͦͥ͑̌̀ͤ̿͒͂͌ͦ̃͜͝ģ̫̠̦̖̯̥̍ͭ̔͒̒̆ͧͩ̅͆ͤͮ̅͛̏ͮͦ̍u̸̢̝̟̗̦͎̭̟͎̖̲͗̾ͧͨ͂ͮͣ̍ͪ̾̃͜͝'̸̢̯̟̯̺̲͚͈́ͣͣͅîͨͫ̏̎̾̅̃̌̍ͧ̔̂ͣ̅͏̹̼̠̠͕̭͓̩͟lͧ͊ͮ̈͌͂͗̃̏͏̨̨͙̳̣̠̯̦̰̺̲͟ĝ̅̊̎̎̎̊ͩ̓͏̷̫̮̜̜̱̮̫͚̙̭̟͍̱̻͖̳̟́̕͞,” Twilight replied, turning towards Noir with a furious scowl.
“Twilight, this isn’t like you. You can’t beat him on your own,” Trixie pleaded.
“Ḟ̲̹͖̣͉̖̲̰͖̦̲̝͎͙ͣͯͭ̌ͭ̊̈͊͗͞͝n̶̢͉̤͉̣͈͖̼̓ͦ̑͒̉͂̅͒ͩ̾̈́ͨ̉ͣ̅̎͢͞͝ļ̸̯̠̩̠̝͍ͨͧ̀̈́̈́̈̈̃ͭ̓̆́͡͞t̡̜̱͈̬̤͕̦̮̖̳͓̟͕ͦ̇̀ͧ́ͧ̈͒̄͋͋͆̂ͥḫ̙͚͎̺͚͖̥̟̯̰̎̈ͫͫͪ͛͐̐̾́̎̔ͩ͞͞ ̶̘̳̯̯̗̥͇̦͎̲̙̗̦̝͎̻͉͎̎̔ͧ͛̋͆͜͠g͉̙̞̮̣̬̖̃̏̍̎͒̍ͬ̈͌̋̅̋̄̈́́͜͞ơ̡̜̫̖̬͖̹̣̱͖̼̺̝͓̲̫̘̖̑̊͛͆ͨ͆̈́̓͂͆̇̚͢ͅh̸̡̳͓̺͔̫̗̯̗͇͔̖͍̩̠̠̓ͮ̍ͣ̇̓̏̒ͯ͊̕̕͢l̡ͨ͛ͣ̑̊̕͢͏̰͎̥̜̫̜̬̖̞͈̗͖̼̦͍̪ų̡̺͓̥̝͍̙̬͇̟̮͓͍͚̳̥̬̳͓ͬͭ̽͛̍̽͑͛̉͐̎̄ͭ̽ͭͯ͊͂ͪ͢͡ȳ̢̨͕͖̥̖͎̜̹͙̠̍̐͛̉͗̏ͪͨ́̆̏̎͆ͨ̃ͭ͞ņ̛ͮ͌ͭ̐ͩ̓ͭ͆ͬ͌ͦ̀̚̚͞͏̝̮̗̼̰̤̰̙̦̭̠͇̞ͅg̡̨̳̗̥̮̙͕̬̗̫̗̘͎͈̟̱̟͖̲̑̇͗̌̿͞ ̶̢̨͓͕̬͉̱̠̘͔͚̜̪͇̘͉̟̓̓͆̍̏͒̃͝ͅj̵̨̛̲̺̩͔̙̜̖̺̬͈̜̫̭̞̿ͣ̇̂̊̚͠'͓̦̠͚̘̬̝ͬ̌ͧ͊͑ͩ́ͨ̍̐̎̾ͭ͑̒ͥ͛͘͘͟͟r̡̢̧̫̣͈̲̺̪͕͖̯ͬ̓̓̇̅͞gͧ͐ͣ́̚͘͘҉̪̘̞̩͉̱̥̣̱̫͎͓̙͎̩ ̂ͫ̃͑͐̔ͭ҉͇̹͉͔̀͡h̨̨̰̰̭̱̥̟̋̄̾̏̓ͤ̾̾͟ơ̶̴̛̪̦̻͍̦͚̤̠͙ͬ̋ͣͮͤ̒ͮ͒ͥ͂ͫ̐̈ͧͯ͗́̒͝ͅt̿ͪ̂́ͤ́̔ͭ͑̃̐̓̚҉̧̢̳̜̝̦͖͔̙̼́h̷̑͋̑ͦͫ̎͌̋̉҉̵̺̠̙͕̀a̷͓̣̳̦͇̙̞͚͖̗̫̩͓ͬͭ̈́ͣͨͣ̾̎͌ͪ̔̇ͭ͢ḫ̛̥̰̲̍̿ͫͧ̀̒̈͐̂̋́ͤͫt̟̭̙̗̺̗͕͐̂̒͒ͮ͘͟!̨͎͔̲̣͔̻͎͕̹̦͔̰̮̙̼̗̺̰̇ͥͩ͂͋͑̌ͤ͞” Twilight screamed back.
“Of for Celestia’s sake,” Trixie groaned. With her telekinesis, she snagged a blue chest. Popping it open, she drew from it a familiar golden crown. Quickly, Trixie set the Element of Magic on Twilight’s head.
There was a flash, a bright flare of purple as something dark and smoky was evicted from the scene. When the light cleared, Twilight was once again her old purple self. She wobbled a little, but managed to keep her balance.
“Twilight! You’re back!” Trixie grinned. “Of course, you wouldn’t be without my help,” she added with a bit of a grin.
Twilight gave a half-hearted smile at that. “Same as ever, Trixie,” she said with a bit of fatigue. She glanced back and forth. “Hey, where’d Noir go?” She was met only with silence. “...Uh, Trixie?”
Twilight turned to find Trixie frozen, her grin etched onto her face, and something black and red sticking out of the middle of her chest. Then, she toppled to the ground, revealing Noir standing behind her. Twilight’s expression morphed into shock and terror as Noir took to the air with a flap of his mighty wings. All around them, the city was alight with green flames, growing higher, creeping nearer. Above her, Noir’s horn lit and the castle beneath her rumbled and shook like something about to collapse.
Twilight glanced to the unsteady ground, then back up and found Noir gone. The palace shook again, and slowly, agonizingly, it began to slide away. Twilight panicked, turning to the unconscious Future Dash. “Dash. Dash, wake up,” she frantically whispered, shaking the alicorn. Dash simply mumbled something and turned away. Twilight turned away, and noticed for the first time how close the castle was to the edge of the mountain, and then how long a drop it was to the bottom.
“Twilight!” The unicorn glanced towards the source of the voice, and found Fluttershy zooming towards her, skirting just above the raging flames of Canterlot. She didn’t slow as she grabbed Twilight, and beating her wings with tremendous effort, lifted her away. Twilight glanced back down and saw Cloud Cover grab Future Dash, carrying her off as well. Then, they were gone.
With a tremendous thunder of noise, Canterlot Palace detached from the mountain and slid away down its side, ending the journey merely a pile of rubble. The city it left behind didn’t fare much better, a green inferno raging through the whole of the city. And on the tallest tower remaining, a black shape looked out over the whole place and grinned.
A flash of green and a white pony teleported next to him. “Oh. You again?” Noir asked. “What do you want this time?”
“I’ve upheld my end of the bargain,” Scratch replied. “Now it’s time for yours.”
End of Chapter Three
Carnage. GLORIOUS CARNAGE!!! 
Also apologies for this being late. For those that have read my blog post about this story, I did warn you about updates being more sporadic.
For those that haven't, well, we have run out of pre-written chapters, and the story will be updated as we finish them.
As always, feedback please. 
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never read homestuck, NEVER WILL as far as i know there all freaking weird as hell
6427044
A refreshingly honest statement. Thank you.
Welp, who is up for going God Tier? No, seriously, get in a line and try and kill Noir. He is literally a god tier cranking out machine. The only death coming for him at this point is Just. Then again, unless you are hiding a secret Green Sun, which just throws logic out somewhere between middle of fuck all and nowhere, pretty much all of them are boned.
6430678
We're not hiding a Green Sun. Yet. However...
Well, there's some facts to put together, and conclusions to draw. I'm sure you'll find entertainment in that. I know I am.
6430706 You act all innocent, but you have a Green Sun in the future. Your a special type of twisted, you know that?
6432157 ... Gamzee you are not.
6431473
Thank you.
Holy shit that was hilarious.
Well, there goes their Crystal Mirror, if I remember correctly... Though it may have been in the Crystal Kingdom originally? I don't remember.