All the Trolls. ALL OF THEM.

by Alex Prior

Act 1 Chapter 1

Act 1

Begin Chapter One

A flash of crimson light and eleven trolls tumbled onto the hard, cold ground. Vantas took a glance around, before sighing. “It would be the bloody moon lab, now wouldn’t it? Wonderful.”

“Aww, come on!” The male seadweller cried. “Wwe wwere just about to kick some pony ass! I had my wwand and evverything!”

“Hmph. Yeah, you 2ure were gonna take the Priince22e2 and her… friiend2, II gue22. 2ure, Ampora,” Captor smirked.

“And just wwhat is that supposed to mean?” Ampora questioned, glaring at Captor.

“Ju2t that you had two end up iin 2tone 2omehow,” he replied.

“OK boys, don’t you t)(ink it’s a bit too early for this?” the female seadweller interrupted. “We just got depetrified less t)(an ten minutes ago and you’re already starting up old feuds?”

“Hey, for the record, II diidn’t even want two get depetriifiied,” Captor said. “I wa2 very iin2ii2tant on the petriifiicatiion iin the fiir2t place.”

“As Was I,” The Caretaker said. “Though, Through The Lens Of Hindsight, Perhaps It Was A Hastily Made Decision.”

Vantas rolled his eyes. “Ya think?”

“Hmm.” The trolls turned to see Megido appear on the transportalizer platform.

“You know, this makes me realize. Aside from the obvious notion that we’ve all been transported to Equestria as Alternian Trolls, we have no idea what specifically has happened to each of us, or even when we got here. So, what say we go around in the circle- Vantas you can start- and we do the ‘how we got here’ storytime?”

-----
Meanwhile, In Canterlot

Guards bustling, a blue hand appearing shortly while disappearing as quickly, ponies rushing through the castle’s halls, ferrying documents and orders to their destinations. And in the stained glass throneroom, a very important meeting was taking place.

“What the heck are we going to do?” Twilight cried. “Look at this! It’s Discord all over again!”

“Heck if I know,” snorted Pinkie. “We’re not the main characters anymore, our survival is not guaranteed anymore. Not that I’m currently in-character anyway.”

“Calm down, you two,” Celestia reprimanded, her voice gentle yet firm. “This is neither the time nor the place for a panic.”

“Our sister is correct. A plan is required should Equestria stand any hope of addressing this great calamity,” Luna added. “And if We may make a suggestion, t’would seem beneficial if we could locate just where these Doomed Gods have fled, and perhaps to discover what atrocities they might be planning.”

“That makes enough sense,” Rarity noted. “But how are we to go about tracing these fiends?”

“I’ve tried a magical tracking spell,” Twilight said. “It works by examining the mystic residue left behind at the scene of magic, and cross referencing it with any current activity in the Aether Stream. But for whatever reason, there appears to be some counter-influence, keeping the Doomed Gods’ magical influence hidden within the Stream. All I can say is that wherever they are, they’ve got mages powerful enough to blot out their presence.”

“Hmm. Then it’s back to good ol’ detective work, eh?” Applejack asked.

“Indeed. The Equestrian Intelligence Agency is working furiously to resolve the matter as we speak,” Celestia announced. “I’ve sent warnings out to the neighboring kingdoms. If they appear anywhere on this planet, I’m sure someone will spot them. In the meantime,” she said, addressing the Elements, “I’d appreciate it if you all would remain in Canterlot. Not only can I assure your safety here, but having you all on hoof could ensure a quick response to the Doomed Gods’ activities. I’m sorry for any disruptions.”

“It’s no problem, Princess,” Applejack said. “Mah family has the farm more than covered.”

“Mmm. Lucky thing I don’t currently have any large orders,” Rarity said. “Though, so long as I’m in Canterlot, I can see if I can drum up some publicity.”

“So long as I have some space to stretch my wings, I’ll be good,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Do you even have to ask!?” Pinkie cried.

“I think we’d all be honored to stay here and help you through this crisis,” Twilight summed up. Celestia gave a warm smile.

“I’m glad to hear that, my faithful student. However, I think one of you hasn’t said anything yet.” The ponies turned to face Fluttershy, who flinched a little at the attention.

“W-well,” she said. “I know this really is important, but the animals do really need somepony to look after them, and I’m not sure if I could ask anypony else.” When the rest of the ponies said nothing, Fluttershy sighed. “I’ll ask Spike.”

------

“Hmm. So that’s what happened.”

Having all gone around, the trolls sat back and contemplated for a while on all the antics they and their compatriots had gotten into. They sure were glad that they knew what had happened, and would feel real pity for anyone who didn’t yet. Ah well…

“sO, wAIT,” Nitram spoke up. “wHAT DO WE DO NOW?”

“We try to t8ke over the world,” Serket replied. “I mean, we had them going for a while there. May as well try again.”

“Now, Hold It There,” Maryam interjected. “You Do Not Exactly Have Me Convinced Of That Course Of Action Being The Best Of Ideas. I For One Think That It Would Be Better If We Made An Attempt At Friendly Relations With The Monarchy, At Least To The Point Of Their Ceasing To Actively Pursue Us Across The Country. From There We Could Perhaps Settle Down And Live Out Our Own Lives.”

“Diplomacy is 8oring,” Serket argued. “Dict8orship is fun!”

“And wwhile I wwon’t argue wwith Serket on that statement, I havve my sights set elsewwhere,” Ampora said.

“Yea)(!” Peixes squealed. “T)(at witc)( in the seapony empire )(as )(er days numbered. This time, W-E’LL COM-E PR-EPAR-ED!!!”

“Well,” snarked Captor, “Unle22 you lot want me two pulverii2e you wiith my de2tructiive, uncontrollable p2iioniic2, you better lock me back iintwo the 2tone where II belong.”

“N0w, n0w,” reprimanded Megido, “We were just reunited. Please, Capt0r. We’ll find a way t0 c0ntr0l y0ur psi0nics. I am handling the v0ices 0f the dead just fine!”

“:33 < I better catch up with that old kitty!” Leijon announced. “:33 < And I’m sure Zahhak would like to come with me.”

“...” said Zahhak.

“Look, everyone, we all seem to have different interests right now,” said Vantas. “Maybe we oughta just head our separate ways, do our own thing.”

And so, our intrepid heroes went on a long and boring journey to desperately search for their old acquaintances. But the journey itself is boring, so we’ll skip that.

“Heeeeeeeey!”

What?

“You can’t just up and skip character development like that! It’s essential to the plot!”

Is it, now? Say, how did you get into my narration anyway?

“Silly! You stole the fourth wall, I stole the relay tower!”

...Curses. I knew I should have been more careful with that one. Granted, heck if I know what I was going to actually do with it, but it was important to me!
...say, what’s that hand doing here?

“What hand?”

I must have imagined it. Where was I?

“...Was it?”

...No. Back to the story, then, everyone.

“N0,” Megido moaned. “We-we just g0t t0gether again. We can’t already be splitting apart.”

“Sorry, Meg, but Peixes and I do havve things to attend to,” Ampora said, stepping towards the transportalizer. “Wwe’ll sea you around.”

“Wait! I’ve g0t it!” Megido cried. “We can just all address this stuff t0gether!”

Ampora stopped. “I’m listening.”

“The last time we tried t0 d0 what we wanted, we g0t st0pped by the princesses 0r s0mething like that,” Megido explained. (‘You d1dn’t,’ muttered Pyrope) “But if we all travel t0gether, we’ll be unst0ppable!”

No one spoke for a couple seconds, till Ampora said, “It wwould take longer.”

“Is that really n0t w0rth the guarantee that we’d succeed?” Megido countered.

“Hmm,” Vantas said. “Well, it does make sense.” He held out his hand. “Everyone, put your hands on top of mine. From this point on, we’re a group, a team. We look out for other’s concerns, and we support each other. To invincibility through teamwork!”

“Invincibility through teamwork!” the trolls cheered.

“Yes!” Megido cheered, though much more quietly.

“So,” Vantas announced. “What’re we going to do next?”

The arguing broke out anew. Vantas sighed. “It’s going to be a long day…”

End Chapter 1

Author's Note:

And so we have arrived to the first chapter!

It seem that this story has a narrator, who's being bothered by a character. Who knew?

Anyways, read, and post your opinions in the comments below.

Comments

[Moonlit Sky]

6113899 It's actually closer to 7,651; the site's page-numbering system doesn't reset itself with each comic, and there were three others before Homestuck, so Homestuck's first page is officially numbered 1901.