Fine Crime has been chosen by Celestia personally to undertake a job he has never wanted. Yet obvious curses can be hidden blessings, for Fine realizes his job is more than just to serve Celestia. He must find a way... to end her.
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Fwiw, you have Vinyl off to a pitch perfect start here. Her situation seems perfectly plausible for her type of character profile, and the connection she's forming with Amethyst has the great balance of hesitance and authenticity that makes it feel very real.
Definitely excited to see where this goes! :)
I like this chapter. Interesting way to introduce a character.
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Glad to hear it! I was kinda worried about how this new interpretation of Vinyl (at least for me) would be viewed. I'm quite literally starting her over from scratch (pun not intended).
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I am always looking for different takes on the background of background poies outside of the common ones. Making one from the ground up is always commendable. Unless is sucks. Which yours, thankfully, doesn't.
Vinyl connection to Amethyst was never mentioned in "Trixie V.S. Equestria." Since Trixie and Amethyst are friends, yet not once did Trixie and Vinyl interacted or acknowledged each other. So that means Trixie isn't aware of Vinyl and Amethyst past, I wonder why that's so. I have a few ideas what will happen so that the stories won't contradict each other. But for now I just keep quiet and simple enjoy the story so far.
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No, you've actually hit upon a huge topic that I've been thinking long and hard on. Because of the way events are going to unfold, it makes no sense whatsoever for Trixie not to recognize Vinyl. As a direct result, I may be forced to go back to that scene and make some modifications. I honestly have no way to go in the direction I want and have Trixie not know Vinyl in her cameo scene, short of coping out with a 'magic' excuse. Since I hate those, a slight change is likely.
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Well here is a suggestion, let Trixie know Vinyl. But let not her know she is an Archon. Heck Amethyst herself shouldn't known this because you clearly portrayed her fear/dislike of them. Remember the brilliance of your 1st story is that you as reader don't see at start this is an alternate universe until the 4th chapter. 2nd Trixie was completely clueless how dark Equestria was. If she knew what Vinyl really was that would really break that ideal dream world she believes she lives in at the start of the story.
Also if you play your cards right you could even make Vinyl, Trixie 2nd friend that lives with her and Amesthyst. But one that comes and leaves at her own leisure. Making it impossible for Trixie to contact her when she's at her lowest point because she doesn't know where Vinyl is unlike Amethyst. So perhaps make her cameo at the start of story only revealing in the end that she was also and Archon could give an extra shock to your story for new readers. Though with the many shocking revelations in the story already it would be considered a minor one.
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I've already got Trixie's, Amethyst's and Vinyl's history down. The next chapter is already completely written and awaiting editing, and the chapter after is about 2/3 finished. Beyond that, I have plans written out for the entire Vinyl story that are unlikely to be changed. Point is, as much as I appreciate the suggestions, I've already moved forward and have everything settled, so even if I like your ideas I can't go along with them save by coincidence.
I typically don't 'make things up as I go.' The fine details, sure, but the big scheme is always planned out long before I start writing.
So... yeah. Thanks, but it's a little late for brainstorming.
Well, Fine's story ended with him being cured and now Vinyl’s begins with her growing attached to Amythst. Curious. Seeing as how Amythst hates the archons and Vinyl (seemingly) became one, I'm raising an eyebrow at where this might be going.