Fine Crime has been chosen by Celestia personally to undertake a job he has never wanted. Yet obvious curses can be hidden blessings, for Fine realizes his job is more than just to serve Celestia. He must find a way... to end her.
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Well. Surprise showed up, so I guess Rainbow really was being stalked. Huh. Really interesting update, keep it up! Onward!
I so hope that Surprise will be the next Archon to which we will delve deeper into. Of all the archons she is the one I'm most curious about how she views and lives the world.
So far Gulfstream is interesting because he wants to redeem himself but to me it's not because he wants to but because it would make some pony else happy. It's clear he's kinda a psychopath but one that isn't a narcist, rather one whom values opinions of those he holds dear more then anything else. He's actually an anti hero in the making from my perspective.
Vinyl Scratch story arc so far was the best one in my opinion but we still need to see the end of this one not to mention there are several other Archons we need to dig into. ^^
Surprise showed up? Uh oh...
your*
sorry
Lovely chapter, as always!
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To be honest, when I first started this I wanted it to be Fleur de Lis, but then I realized: a hot-to-trot unicorn keeping an eye on a pegasus in Cloudsdale? not very subtle for an Archon. So yeah, Surprise it is.
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Right now it's a toss-up between Fleur and Surprise. A number of my pre-readers are insisting Surprise be near the end, but I haven't decided yet.
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I appreciate you pointing these things out, but please try to do so in PMs. I'm not a fan of having my stupid mistakes on display for future readers to know about long after I've corrected them.
But don't delete it! Having a deleted comment is far worse.
*Paul cares too much about his image*
6679703 SORRY
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Perfectly alright. Different writers view this kind of thing in different ways.
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Pre-reader what is the task of a pre-reader? I mean for each writer the boundaries are different.
Also yeah Surprise, as much as I hate to wait I think I agree with your pre-readers to safe her for last. It's always best to "safe the best for last." Not to discredit the other Archon characters but she currently hold my greatest interest. Before this story with only TvE and Twilight Inferno as information to this order. Only Fine Crime was interesting as character. But you finely has fleshed out each of them so far.
So far the one I'm least looking forward is actually Fleur. So far I found her accent in written form a drag to get through. I know some if not most of your readers love it but for me it's not. Strange enough I have no trouble with AJ countryside talk in written form. But somehow I have a hard time to understand what Fleur is actually saying and I need to put in extra effort when reading her spoken lines to understand what she's saying. I'm normally a relax reader and don't desire to put so much energy into a story as I would do when trying to learn something.
Though do not chance how she speaks, it's just my personal gripe that's all.
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In my case, someone who reads the rough draft and makes commentary regarding how to improve the story, whatever that entails. It's not grammar-centric like an editor, although they are free to point such things out if they wish.
Oh, Surprise won't be last. I picked out the last one long ago, and that's set in stone. At latest, Surprise will be next to last.
As if I would change something so small because a single person complained.
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Oh I have done that for a few writers in the past already. Never knew that was pre-reading. I assume you already have more then enough for yourself. But if there is room for more pre-readers then where can I sign up?
Nor would I ever expect any person to do that. We are all entitled with our own ways of thinking and creativity. Anything less is enslavement of persons being.