Tomorrow
The air of Canterlot castle's private gardens was filled with the scent of blooming flowers and freshly cut grass as Princess Twilight Sparkle took slow, measured steps along a dirt path. Her hooves dragged and her shoulders sagged but she pushed on, her wings fighting against her sides anxiously. She'd walked this path countless times, every morning, regardless of rain or snow. As the final corner was rounded she found her reason for doing so; set in the middle of a bed of flowers and walled off on three sides by tall, lush green hedges was a modest statue of a proudly standing pegasus with a scraggly mane.
Twilight's heart beat against the inside of her chest as she approached the familiar statue, her eyes glued to the base even as she arrived at the edge of the flower bed. With a heavy sigh she fell back onto her haunches, slowly raising her eyes to gaze up at the statue. The sun rose behind it, hovering behind the pony's head and giving it an otherworldly glow, almost like a halo.
“Back again, Egghead?”
The sudden voice, paired with a hoof resting itself on her shoulder, made Twilight jump as she turned around and glared at the prismatic-maned mare. “Rainbow!” She snapped, holding a hoof to her chest. “How many times have I told you not to do that!?”
Rainbow smirked, replacing her hoof with a wing as she sat back on her haunches next to Twilight. “Oh come on; it's funny. Besides, I thought being your marefriend meant I could scare you however or whenever I wanted.”
“Why did they ever build you a statue?” Twilight asked, ignoring Rainbow's comment and instead turning back to the marble sculpture. “I swear sometimes I think you don't deserve it.”
Rolling her eyes, Rainbow nuzzled Twilight’s cheek affectionately. “Oh lighten up, Twi; you know I'm only kidding. You're awfully up-tight these days; all this stress isn't good for you.”
Twilight snorted. “You try being a Princess of Equestria without building up a little stress, miss Wonderbolt.”
“Now now, my job is plenty stressful and you know it.” Rainbow stuck her tongue out at the alicorn. “Seriously though; you told me the same thing when I started over-working myself.”
“That was different!” Twilight protested defensively.
Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “Different how? A Wonderbolt and a Princess might be some pretty different jobs but stress it stress, and it's not a good thing.”
“Fine, I'll try to take it easy, happy?”
Rainbow shrugged.
“Whatever. I have a few things to do today, care to join me?” Twilight asked, standing from the grass and magically brushing off her flank.
“I'm free,” Rainbow said, standing as well. “Although you gotta promise me you won't let your guards tackle me when I kiss you.”
Twilight grimaced at the memory. “Don't worry; all the guards are well aware of you now. I've made sure of it.”
“Well then,” Rainbow paused, bowing low to the ground. “After you, my Princess.”
“Please don't; you know I hate it when ponies do that.”
Rainbow leaned forward and gave the alicorn a quick peck on the cheek before falling into step alongside her. “But it's fun to tease you!”
Twilight trolled her eyes but didn't respond, instead choosing to walk silently alongside her mare, the dirt path making their steps near-silent.
“It's kinda nice out here,” Rainbow noted, the silence apparently becoming to much for her. “I think... I think I'd like to be buried out here, when I die.”
Purple hooves faltered as Twilight choked on her own breath at the words. “Rainbow!”
“What? I'm serious.”
“You can't just-” Twilight bit her lip, glancing around as though she were afraid somepony would overhear them. “Don't talk like that... I can't stand the thought, Dashie.”
Rainbow sighed, laying a wing over Twilight's back. The feathers failed to stop the chill racing down the alicorn's spine. “You're gonna have to deal with it sooner or later, Twi. You're immortal, now.”
“I know but... not now, okay? Just.... just not today.”
The pair shared a look for a few moments, before eventually Rainbow relented. “Fine, but we'll talk about it one of these days.”
Twilight frowned, but said nothing more as she continued to walk through the gardens with Rainbow close beside her, the wing never once leaving its place on her back. Eventually the garden path lead around through a gap in the perimeter hedge, the two coming out beside the front gates of the castle. The guards there snapped into a salute at Twilight's approach.
“At ease,” she grumbled, not even sparing them a glance as she passed by into the halls of the castle. “It's kinda getting old.”
Rainbow snickered. “It's their job, Twi.”
“I know, Dashie. I just wish they'd actually listen to me when I tell them to stop. Instead they just keep saluting every time they see me. And it's always 'your highness' this and 'princess' that.” Twilight frowned, glancing to the side and noting the eyes of said guards following her down the hall. “And it feels like they're always watching me...”
“They probably are,” Rainbow noted. “I mean it is their job to protect you.”
Twilight's eyes narrowed as she noted the two guards stationed next to the throne room doors whispering to each other, one of them nodding his head towards her. “Yeah, but this is different. They look at me differently than Celestia or Luna.”
“Oh don't mind them; they're just not used to having you around yet. You'll settle in soon enough, I'm sure,” Rainbow assured breezily. “Anyway, how about some breakfast? I'm starved.”
“Always thinking with your stomach, aren't you Rainbow?”
“You know it!”
The dining room of Canterlot castle was extravagant to say the least. Not quite as much as the ballroom and banquet hall, but still larger than any on pony needed. The kitchen staff, however, offset the rather empty feeling of the room with their own warm, homely personalities.
“I'll have my usual salad,” Twilight said with a smile, the head cook nodding his head with a smile of his own. “And she'll have-hey!”
The chef was already gone, disappeared into the kitchen to prepare her meal without a second glance. Without even asking what Rainbow wanted. “Well somepony woke up on the wrong side of the bed...”
Rainbow rested a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. “Don't worry about it, Twi. I'll go get something myself. I'm sure he just didn't notice me.”
“How could he not notice you? You kinda stick out around here.”
“Whatever. Save my seat.” Rainbow disappeared into the kitchen behind the chef, leaving Twilight alone in the large, silent room. Her ears swivelled around as the door on the far side of the room swung open and the clopping of hooves on polished marble entered.
“Good morning, Twilight.”
Twilight smiled, twisting her head around. “Pri-... I mean, Celestia.” She giggled, covering her mouth with a hoof.
The pearly white alicorn smiled, before glancing around the room. “Dining alone this morning?” She asked, sounding almost hopeful.
“No, Dash just went to get something from the kitchen,” Twilight answered with a shake of her head. “Why don't you join us?”
Celestia fidgeted uncomfortably. “You said Rainbow Dash was here?”
Twilight nodded, smiling and watching as Celestia glanced back over her shoulder. She sighed. “I'd love to, Twilight, but I'm afraid I already ate, and day-court starts soon.”
“You've been awfully busy lately,” Twilight noted, a small waver of concern in her voice. “Is there anything I can do to help? It feels like I've hardly done any work at all recently.”
Celestia was already half way back to the doors when she stopped. Without turning around, she said, “I'm fine. Appreciate the break for now and... give Rainbow Dash my regards.” With that she hurried out of the room, the doors shutting quickly behind her.
“That was... weird...”
“What was?”
Twilight jumped out of her seat, the chair clattering to the floor loudly as she whirled around to face a cyan pegasus with a smug smirk adorning her lips. “R-Rainbow!”
“Heh, didn't mean to scare ya, but I'll take it.” She sat down at the table, a small plate of hay fries in front of her as Twilight righted her chair and tried to slow her hammering heart.
The kitchen doors opened and the head chef hurried out, a white apron secured around his neck as he levitated a large, covered silver dish. Placing it gently in front of Twilight, he gave a warm smile before disappearing back into the kitchen. The lavender alicorn was more focused on watching Rainbow devour her fries. “Where did you even find those? I didn't think the castle kitchen stocked that kind of thing.”
Rainbow shrugged, answering around a mouthful of food. “You guys have everything back there.”
“Huh.” Was all Twilight offered before taking the cover off her dish and looking at the expertly prepared salad in front of her. She sighed.
“What's up?” Rainbow asked, looking up from her plate and swallowing. “Not hungry?”
Twilight shook her head, picking up a fork and nudging the leafy greens halfheartedly. “Just trying to remember when the last time I had something not... well, Canterlot.”
“You grew up here, Twi; I though you liked this stuff.”
“I used to, but then I moved to Ponyville and had Pinkie's cupcakes and Applejack's pies and... well, I guess I just miss it. I miss them,” Twilight explained, ultimately deciding she wasn't as hungry as she thought and pushing the dish away. A small part of her felt guilty for wasting the cook's time and the food, but most of her mind was focused on home.
Rainbow smiled amiably. “They don't come out as much as I do, huh?”
“It feels like it's been months, Rainbow. I can't even remember when I last saw the rest of them.” Her ears perked as something dawned on her. “You go back to Ponyville all the time, right? Between shows?”
“If I'm not at a show or here with you, I'm back in Ponyville.”
Twilight grinned. “How is everypony?”
“Well...” Rainbow's face scrunched for a moment, mulling the question over. “They all miss you, and always say they want to come up here more often to visit. They've gotten pretty busy recently. A lot of stuff's changing.”
“Tell me,” Twilight urged, resting her elbows on the table and her head in her hooves as she leaned forward eagerly
“You're kidding!?” Twilight asked disbelievingly, a grin splitting her face.
Rainbow shook her head, smiling ear to ear as well. “Nope! You should have seen Rarity's face, Twi; I swear i thought she was gonna burst into flames. Took her a week before she'd eve look at me and Pinkie again. I still don't think she's forgiven us.”
Twilight guffawed, rocking back in her chair and nearly toppling over.
“Ahem. Excuse me, your highness?”
“Hmm?” Twilight turned, noting the presence of a guard behind her, shifting from hoof to hoof awkwardly. “Yes?”
The guard glanced around the room, shaking his head as though to clear it of a thought. “Your presence is requested in Day Court. Please; allow me to escort you.”
Twilight sighed, turning back to Rainbow. “Sorry; duty calls. Will you still be here tonight?”
“I wouldn't dream of leaving,” Dash assured with a smile. “I have some things to do today anyway. I'll meet you in your room later tonight?”
“Sounds good.” Twilight stood nodding curtly at the guard as they trotted towards the door. The armoured stallion looked over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow, scanning the room once again. Rainbow waved sheepishly when his eyes fell on her. He shrugged his shoulders and turned his attention forward again just in time to open the door for Twilight.
Twilight groaned as the door to her bedroom swung open in a haze of purple magic. Her eyes drooped, and she wanted nothing more than to fall into her overly-comfortable bed and sleep away the stresses of the day. However, when she stumbled into her room in a fog, a cyan ball of fur resting on one of the many cushions around the room caught her eyes and she smiled.
Rainbow snored lightly, her chest lifting and falling in time with her breaths and a ray of silver moonlight fell on her through the window like a lunar angel.
“Come on, Dashie,” Twilight whispered, calling on her magic for the final time that night as she lifted the snoozing pony and placed her gently in the bed, shuffling the sheets so she lay beneath them. The pegasus stirred, tired magenta eyes blinking open slowly as she yawned widely.
Stretching languidly, Rainbow shifted and sat up. “Hey Twi. Long day?”
Twilight sighed. “Yeah. A lot of ponies had a lot of questions for me, and after that I had to do a few things for Celestia. It was weird though; it was like she didn't want me doing anything at all, always trying to hurry me through, especially when ponies asked me questions. Half the time she wouldn't even let me answer.”
“I'm sure it's nothing, Twi; she's just letting you get used to things before taking on too much responsibility. We all know how you are; you'd dive straight in and work yourself half to death.”
The alicorn, pursed her lips, climbing in to bed beside the rainbow maned pegasus. “I don't know; it feels like I used to have a lot more stuff to do. Now if Celestia gives me any work at all it's usually down in the archives. I can't remember when I last made a true public appearance.”
Rainbow rolled her eyes, rolling over to face her marefriend. “You're worrying over nothing again, Twi.”
“Am I, though? Something fishy is going on, and I can't help but think it has something to do with you hanging around so much recently. It started around the time you took your vacation from the Wonderbolts.” Twilight chewed her lip thoughtfully, but stopped when she felt a gentle hoof fall onto her side.
“Relax, okay? I'm sure it's nothing. If you're really this worried, just talk to Celestia tomorrow.”
“I tried that!” Twilight groaned, laying on her back and staring up to the ceiling. “It's like she's avoiding me...”
Sighing quietly, Rainbow slid over beneath the covers and wrapped her hooves around Twilight's barrel. “She's probably just busy. Get some sleep; you'll feel better in the morning.”
Twilight took a deep breath, smiling as Rainbow's scent filled her head with a warm fuzz. “You might be right.” She yawned, turning and giving the pegasus a quick peck on the cheek. “Good night, Dashie.”
“'Night Twi.”
Closing her eyes and blowing out a small breath, Twilight's breathing slowly evened out until the steady rise and fall of her chest was the only movement she made beneath the shining silver moon.
The next morning Twilight awoke with a quiet start as she unconsciously shifted into a bright sunbeam. She flinched, cringing as she opened her eyes and was momentarily blinded. Pulling herself upright Twilight yawned and stretched, noting the distinct lack of a pegasus lying next to her. Not an entirely uncommon event; she woke up almost every morning without her marefriend next to her.
She knew it was only a matter of minutes before they'd meet each other out in the palace gardens in front of the familiar marble statue. With a flare of magic Twilight set about fixing her dishevelled state, summoning a brush from her vanity and a toothbrush from her bathroom. Out the window the sun rose out from its nighttime hiding place and greeted the world with a golden brilliance.
Before long Twilight found herself in a presentable state and trotted out of her room, closing the door behind her and smiling politely at the guards lining the hall.
“Good morning , your highness,” one said, bowing. “I hope you're feeling better today.”
Twilight tilted her head at the odd choice of words. “Better?” she echoed curiously.
The guard flinched, and the stallion next to him smacked his helmet, whispering something harshly into his ear before smiling a little too wide. “It's nothing, Princess. Please, ignore him.”
Eyes narrowing, Twilight scrutinized both guards, though they both returned to their well-trained neutral expressions. She sighed, shaking it form her head and proceeding down the hall. “Odd, but it's time I go meet Dashie.” A noticeable skip entered her step at the thought and she hurried out of the castle, rounding the corner into the gardens.
As she walked to noted the statues of the rest of her friends, celebrating all the achievements they'd made. Each was given their own private space f the gardens, and as Twilight walked down the path and past her immortalized friends tears started streaming silently down her cheeks. She wiped them away with the back of her hoof, frowning at the wetness on her fur. Why was she crying?
Around the final corner she found Rainbow's statue, the tears coming harder and harder now as she laid down in front of it. Small sobs escaped her throat as she read the plaque.
Here lies Rainbow Dash, Wonderbolt.
The loyalist of friends
and most faithful of lovers
“What's the matter, Twi?”
Twilight jumped at the voice coupled with a hoof resting itself on her shoulder. She turned, wiping away her tears and smiling at the pegasus behind her.
“Nothing, Rainbow. I guess I just miss the rest of the girls.”
Meanwhile, on a balcony above the famous gardens of Canterlot castle, two alicorns stood, looking down at a lone lavender pony in the gardens, watching as she talked to the air behind her.
“It has been three months since the last Element's passing, sister.” Luna muttered, a pensive frown stretching across her muzzle. “You need to talk to her.”
Celestia watched, a tear sliding down her cheek. “She'll be fine... she just needs more time...”
“She is not fine!” Luna shouted with a stomp of her hoof. “You have forbade me from being the one to talk to her, and until now I have respected your request, but this has gone for far too long. I see the way you avoid her, how you hide her from the public eye in the archives. The guards have started whispering, Celestia. You must do something.
Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Celestia nodded slowly. “I will...”
“Good-”
“Tomorrow. If she's not better tomorrow I'll talk to her.”
This is soooo good. For the longest time I thought maybe the whole lesbian relationship was the problem. I wasn't till Twilight fell asleep that I realized the other option. Such perfect timing.
Hmm... It's well written that's for sure but I can't help feeling as if it's 'just another Twilight coping badly with RD's passing shipfic'... Maybe it's because there's a lot of these kinds of fics out there but I already suspected Dash was already dead since they talked about the guards and after Celestia's scene, I knew what had happened to RD.
Still. Kudos for a well written chapter, this is the first time I've seen one of these stories write about the Princesses attempts to snap Twilight out of it, so I'm kinda looking forward to it.
How interesting, I'm curious to see what it takes for twilight to wake up to reality.
I'm not sure if theres a good way to break it to someone that a loved one is dead.
Is there ever going to be a Twidash where both Twilight and Rainbow Dash are alicorns? I assume they are rare, as I have not seen one yet.
5881421
Click this. Right here. The ending involves TwiDash alicorns.
Well, if you were using this as a practice in foreshadowing, you did a very good job at it. I had a hunch at the beginning with Rainbow's statue and Dash herself appearing next to Twilight, mostly because I couldn't for the life of me figure out any sort of reason why she would get a statue.
Kudos also for keeping my interest throughout the story. This isn't the first story of this type I've seen or read that deals with Twilight unable to cope with a character death, with some kind of immortality thing mixed in. Also one thing, and this is just a bit nitpicking, but it doesn't feel right to have Twilight call Rainbow "Dashie." I don't know, I don't think I ever wrote it like that because it always sounded somewhat cheesy and not something she'd say ya know?
But overall, you did a fine job building up to the reveal at the end. Great work!
DJRD
Yeah, as soon as dash showed up after that statue was mentioned, I knew exactly where this was going.
Your foreshadowing has gotten better, and I hope to see more from ya.
I saw two things wrong here:
After the first "Just" you have four ellipsis. Minus one.
"eve" should be "even"
Well, that's all the mistakes I saw... that and I don't know what the hell just happened. But I want a sequel, or a prequel, or a pre-sequel
5881406 Twi knows she's dead, she just won't let Rainbow go.
5881538 But that's a dead story
5881421 Um, I've read one, but it's rated mature...
5882036 I am twenty four years old. I can handle mature.
5882039 Same here *high five*, now, let me look for it and i'll link you in Private
5882044 Very well.
Wow, and I thought Celestia was just being overprotective...
This was very nicely done.
Although I try to stay away from sad fics, I do like the immortalized Twilicorn ship fic idea. It certainly puts Twilicorn shipping to a different level.
I Did Not Need My Skill As A Prophet To Know How This Was Going To End. I Could Tell From The Foreshadowing Alone.
Best Regards,
Prophet_Of_Madness
Not bad at all! A few nitpicks, first of all,
Perhaps you meant of? Second, I loved how you started, the guards' small ticks, but remember,you need to get progressively more obvious with your foreshadowing. I caught on to what was happening when Celestia mentioned Rainbow the way she did, I would have exchanged that scene with the morning guard scene to try and keep the reader guessing. Good job regardless,though you may want to find a proofreader for grammar, I didn't read through this thoroughly enough to catch more than what I did.
fucking sad twidash stories not being obvious until half way through the fucking thing! making me feel and stuff!
Dang, that's sad.
Wait... So the reason the guards were whispering behind her back, and Celestia was avoiding her was because the whole time Twilight thought Dash was alive, in her world? While in reality, Dash died? Being immortal sucks. The feels are coming in.
I NEVER read sad stories for a reason *even if I write them sometimes *... You made me cry!! How dare you, you mean writer!! QAQ
Ok, now to the serious part, that was just the drama of the day I loved the story! Too sad, but so cute, and it made me think about a lot of stuff, good job, dear Sr.!
That's the reason why I follow you
5887335 Well have you at least read Remembrance Day by Grand_Moff_Pony?
5885053 *evil grin*
5887200 No, Twilight just didn't want to let her go and, yeah...
I thought
even
_____________
Wow ... so all of her friends died ... that's utterly depressing. A part of me wants to see Celestia's talk with Twilight, but this being a one shot I'm resigned to that question being unanswered. Even if it would be interesting to see. Still good fic.
Wait, ehat about that alleged incident where the guards tackled Rainbow when she kissed her? Was that before she died?
I knew it she was dead! or am i turning crazy???
I don't mean to sound like a dick man, but I saw it coming basically from the beginning. The biggest clue towards it was probably even the mention of the statue in the beginning. The description instantly put the image of Rainbow Dash in my mind, and well, the rest just confirmed what I already knew.
Keep at it though mate, good foreshadowing needs a lot of subtlety, unfortunately some stuff just screamed out "RAINBOW DASH IS DEAD." If I didn't already know, I would have by the time you got to the whole immortality talk, and Twi being bothered by Rainbow's talk about death.
While it was a bit obvious that Rainbow Dash was dead, I could tell from the statue and story tags, it was still a good story and I definitely enjoyed it. On a side-note I did not expect them all to be dead and it was 70+ years in the future. I just assumed Dash died in some Wonderbolt related accident and Twilight refused to let go. Good practice at foreshadowing and keep practicing!
Good story, well written and didn't make me cringe or roll my eyes even once. Very well done, been a while since I read a story that didn't in some way make me cringe :)
That said maybe I can share some of my own thoughts that maybe you or someone that reads this comment can use.
I think the sad tag covers the story more than well enough that you don't need the dark tag at all. Not only does the dark tag not fit but in many ways the dark tag gives away a lot of the story. It's important to tag a story correctly and not under-tag but the same is true for over-tagging a story.
I think that for foreshadowing to work you need to kinda 'lie' to your readers. Not out right lies of course but omissions are perhaps important. Also when it comes to the emotions and thoughts of the main character, keep in mind that she can be lying to herself and because you are telling the story from her pov that means that she is lying to your readers. I already figured it out midway through the 2nd paragraph, due to her being sad but there not being a reason for her to be sad. You need something to throw off your readers early on, rather than tip them off early on. A way to cement the idea that nothing is wrong early means that any indication that things are NOT right soon after will give the feeling of 'something is wrong but don't know what' rather than 'oh something big is wrong and I think I know what'.
That said some people are harder to trick and depending on what stories they frequently read can be tipped of sooner or later or not at all.
Edit: Oh btw I did not pick up on the fact that the other element bearers were dead at all and is a good example of omission. When the story talked about the other statues at the end, only then did I realize it.
6207394
The beginning is, undoubtedly, the weakest part of this. Were I to rewrite it, the only clue I'd give in the first couple paragraphs is the halo thing on the statue. That being said, the reason the beginning was so weak was because this started as nothing more than a practice in foreshadowing. I rewrote the beginning numerous times using different clues. Originally this was supposed to last about 3 paragraphs before the reveal, which is why it seems so obvious. When it grew into a full story, I just never went back to give it a proper opening. It was kind of a spur of the moment type of thing.
I still need a lot of practice in many fields like foreshadowing, but the progress through the story is, to me, plain as day. The beginning was pretty blatant, honestly, but towards the end I started to get a little more subtle, while still also building up tot he reveal. I didn't do perfect, but considering what it was, I'm happy with the progress.
Also yes, I know I tend to use the dark tag a bit liberally. I blame my over-active imagination; most of my dar tags are added to open-ended stories to cover my own "what if" fantasies.
Honestly I'm surprised so many people seemed to like it.
A story has many components. Speaking for myself the quality of the writing is one of the more important components and is why I made specific mention of how generally well written this story is and is perhaps a reason why others like it too. I can fill in plot holes and suspend disbelief and run with ideas but I have a lot of trouble getting through bad writing, because reasons :P
What... the... fuck...
That was so awesome!
... What?
But, tomorrow doesn't exist, now does it? It's technically always today!
I understood what happend at this point
and it took 10 minutes for me to calm my feelings and not start crying
10 out of ten, like and fav.
Best of luck
Even now after all this time it still makes me cry
I think there's something wrong with me, I mean judging by how everyone else reacted. I didn't feel sympathy for the characters but that might be my problem.
Anyway, I like how the story was written. You didn't directly introduce the problem which caught us off guard nearing the end. And although you used a common idea, the way you wrote it made it stand out and really catch the audience. Wonderful job! ^^
Also, sorry. Late reader here.
Whoa, that completely caught me off guard! Great job!
I had a bad feeling 2 minutes into the read. I think I've been reading too many stories involving Twilight going crazy at the loss of her friend(s).