Ponies and Interdimensional Travel

by Lain_UX

And then what happened, Tal and Taylor?

"Ugh, my fricken head..." Taylor continued to moan and complain like my little sister when she got an 8 gig mePhone 5 instead of the 64 gig version. Already I started to hate my friend who suffered from no more than a headache caused by falling down a million tree branches. How come all the other people in the fanfictions spawn right on the ground? All we got were branches. Branches. Branches. Squirrels. More branches, and finally squirrels. I think I got the worst because one bit me.

Anyways, having rabies isn't the part of my autobiography on how sexy I am. Waking up on a mountain top was a reference point on how I climbed Mount Everest (between you and me, I actually didn't climb it) though. Anywho, since we had tree nightmares, I'm pretty sure we were at the tree line, which meant we were pretty far down the mountain instead of on top of it. From our high shelter in the trees we finally attempted to climb one which gave us a glimpse at the beauty of Equestria. We saw chariots in Canterlot and saw Pinkie Pie bouncing around near Sugar Cube Corner. We saw the treehouse Twilight Sparkle called home and saw the clouds and Rainbow Dash's cloud mansion. We saw the rainbow factory (and I think I saw some very sad looking filly pegasi walking into it with some creepy dude) and the beautiful treetops of the Everfree Forest. We saw everypony going around their own business and chatting along.

Despite being so close to be able to see the natural beauty of it all, we still had to travel down the winding hill of the mountain. We looked up and saw some very thin smoke coming out of a hole in the mountain, probably from Dragonshy, and we saw a gold coin on the edge of the mountain cliff too. Through the fifteen miles we hiked down the hill (I never leave without my pedometer), we encountered bears, snakes, squirrels, tree branches, more branches, and deer. Deer were pretty nice except they stole our food we packed when we got ready to build a portal like in my dream, so we still had our coke, and our battle plan on paper with stick figurines of us drawn on it in such a masterfully crafted manner (Taylor Note: He drew it, and it sucked. Balls). I'm pretty sure our battle plan was amazingly well crafted. I'm not even sarcastic this time. Our plan was to immediately find a pony who wasn't too sure about him/herself to tell authorities (Fluttershy) or find somepony who was actively seeking us as a hobby (Lyra) or any other pony who may have these two traits. Or both, that would be nice. Unfortunately, this is the real world, so no Flutterlyra or any shipping like that exists (right?!?). Our next step would to be taking shelter in that person's house and doing odd jobs of any sort inside the house only or things at night to gain the pony's trust and gain rights to food, shelter, and the occasional cloak in case my hoodie rips apart. The cloak/hoodie would be used to move around at dark. Either I could start rumors about the tall slender pony who stalks other ponies in the night by standing, or I could shamble around like the crappy pony I am. That's about it in my plan. Taylor's plan...I'm not sure how to put this...really really sucks. He wants to have sex with every pony. I'm not sure why I brought him. I'm pretty sure you want to see either both or one of our plans be started on our trip. I can promise you with a smile that Plan Taylor will not go into effect.

So, as we walked into Ponyville (oh dear God does wandering take energy out of you), Taylor and I hid in a bush. We were sure we would be caught when someone noticed our heavy breathing in the bush (not the most athletic people in the world), but after meowing them away it worked like a charm. Either that or they went to get therapy. Or the police. I'm not sure opening soda and drinking it was smart too as it alerted more ponies to our position (meowing filled the air, and I think we choked out a squirrel sound when the meow didn't work), and I nearly threw up from all of that fluid bouncing around in my stomach.

We weren't sure to go into Lyra's abode or Fluttershy's cottage. Taylor and I voted, and it was unanimous. We get settled in with Fluttershy and learn anything we haven't yet learned from watching the show, and see if we really are in the actual thing. Fluttershy wouldn't tell a soul if we brought a present or something. We could take advantage of her and put her down, but that would only be in dire circumstances.

You're probably wondering why I'm hiding so much instead of yelling "HI PONIES! MY FRIEND WANTS TO BOINK ALL OF YOU!" and giving out that an alien has invaded Ponyville. Well, in some fanfictions, Celestia causes the portal. In others, she has no clue. She'll probably flip and send us to the moon or kill us or lock us up in a jail, or even dissect us. We had to be super careful because Pinkie Pie was on the prowl. Every time we got settled into a new hiding spot though, her Pinkie Senses fired up and she dashed straight to our old spot.

We finally made it to Fluttershy's cottage. We peered through her windows and saw her napping. I had diabetes on the spot and stared at her long enough for her to wake up. I think she saw us when we were crying out in "AWWW" when she was waking up. Either she screamed in approval of how cute she was or maybe she's frightened. We looked back in just in time to see her face up against the window.

"AUGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Said Taylor, Fluttershy, and I.

Author's Note:

Thanks for the upvotez and kittehz and everything guys! Internet cookie kat for the guy who can guess where the title came from!

EDIT: Also, a sex joke in here (among the many others) was relating to a certain show called Moonlighting. Where is it?

Comments

[1eragon33]

[Lain_UX]

2038241

1964066
Yay potential! You get a chapter...in progress...
1967066
WELL YOU DONT GET ONE. Unless you ask nicely.

[Insidiaphilia]

Even after reading your post, I think I will (putting this loosely) give this story a chance...

[Naden Gryphus]

Your thread made my interest in your work bloom! Expect me to demand later chapters, even though I haven't read a word yet.

[Lain_UX]

2331176>>2331098

Wow! Thanks for giving it a shot. This is my first one, but I have been reherasing this in my head ever since I became a brony. Expect a chapter real soon, and some longer ones too!

[Morphy]

579876

Well, since you mentioned it. There is the very good chance tiny black holes are created in the LHC, but due to Hawkings Radiation, they literally evaporate in short order. I've not been following the science around the LHC as closely as I used to but that part I do know. And on your other point, black holes can be contained just like anything else in sufficiently strong magnetic fields. How strong they need to be of course depends on how strong (aka 'big') the black hole is. Your guess is as good as mine on this. And on a final note about black holes, microscopic ones could be around us right now. But being so small, think on an atomic scale, they pass through us without any interaction. There could be one in the center of the Earth and we'd never know about it.

This wouldn't be the first super-genius kid tho, Jimmie Neutron comes to mind.

[Lain_UX]

2331477

Glad to hear you like it! This story won't end, but instead act like a blog for my character. This is also my first story, and I was very nervous starting this.

Thanks for the input!