The Savior of the Lotus Society
Three Little Visitors: Pt 13
It took a minute or two to get Sonata to calm down, during which time Sunset attempted to be kind to her whilst simultaneously trying to see what was wrong with Aria. She too seemed emotionally compromised, squeezing her lips together and holding back tears. With a creased forehead, she used anger to cover how upset she really was.
“What happened?” Sunset asked. “Where’s Adagio? What—“ Sunset looked around again. She’d been so focused on the kids that she hadn’t immediately noticed that the room had been trashed. It was usually quite messy from the kids’ antics, but this level of desolation was beyond their usual antics. “My laptop!” she cried, hurrying over with Sonata on her arm.
With the enormous crack in the screen, and its position on the floor, it looked very much as though someone had swept it roughly aside onto the floor. She tapped a few keys and tried the power button, but the thing was clearly broken beyond repair.
“A-A-Ad-dagio b-broke it,” Sonata sobbed.
“What? Why?” Sunset demanded aghast. “What happened?”
She set Sonata down, and in between her shaking sobs, Sonata began to explain. “I-It was when you left. She went in your room and s-started looking for something.”
Sunset’s insides squirmed a little at this, and she looked quickly at Aria. It wasn’t Aria I saw.
“She made Sonata tell,” Aria gasped. “She made Sonata tell her everything.”
Sunset stared uncomprehendingly at her. “Sonata? But how does Sonata know anything about it?” She saw Aria’s face clearly for the first time since returning; it was creased into a look of pain, and she was clutching her arm. “Sweet Celestia, you’re bleeding!” Before Aria could protest, Sunset had her arm in her hands. “Sonata, get me the first aid box from the bathroom. Quickly!”
“You don’t have time for that!” Aria hissed as Sonata panicked her way towards the bathroom, and Sunset began undressing the bandage around her arm.
“What did you mean when you said Adagio made Sonata tell her everything? What could Sonata have told her?”
“Sonata’s been spying,” Aria growled, as the girl in question handed Sunset the first aid kit. Sonata blushed furiously and tried to hold back a fresh wave of sobs. “Adagio told Sonata she needed to make up for starting the fire, so she made her spy on you to find out what was happening.”
“Oh,” Sunset said, feeling a lurch in her stomach at the sight of Aria’s arm. “How did this happen?”
“A-Aria t-told me not to tell,” Sonata moaned.
“Adagio got really mad when we wouldn’t tell her anything,” Aria said between winces.
“S-She got really s-scary,” Sonata went on, shuddering a little.
“So when she finished looking everywhere she grabbed my arm so Sonata would start talking.”
“Wait, Adagio did this to you?” Sunset demanded, feeling nauseous. When Aria gave a curt nod, Sunset honestly couldn’t believe her. It wasn’t that she couldn’t imagine Adagio hurting Aria; in their childish fights she’d done the same thing, but she’d never done something so coldly methodical as to torture information out of someone.
“I-It’s like it was before,” Sonata sobbed. “When she found the red stones before, she was scary then too.”
“It’s not like then!” Aria snapped as Sunset cleaned her arm and re-bandaged it. “I know you can’t tell, Sonata, but she’s scared. She’s always scared, like she’d ever admit it. I so want to punch her in the face!”
“Perhaps later,” Sunset said hastily, checking the tightness on the bandage. “Does that feel okay?” When Aria gave another brief nod, she stood up. “Where did Adagio go?”
“You know she’s after the stones, right?” Aria asked, flexing her arm. “She knows that we used to be older and everything.”
“I understand that,” Sunset replied urgently. “Aria, if she’s capable of hurting you like this as she is now, I don’t want to think what she’ll do if she sees what’s in those fragments. Please tell me where she’s gone.”
“She followed after you.”
“You said she left after searching here,” Sunset said, frowning. “How could she know where I—“ she stopped. “Of course. You’re all much cleverer than I think sometimes.”
“She guessed who you got that blue box from,” Aria explained. “And she knows it’s where that purple-haired witch-girl is staying.”
“Witch girl?” Sunset asked, confused. “You mean Twilight? She figured—“ she stopped herself again. Getting up, she picked Aria off the floor and set her on the sofa. Then she heaved Sonata onto the cushion next to her, trying to get her to stop crying.
“W-What are y-y-you going to d-do?” Sonata sobbed, wiping her eyes with her palm.
“What I should have done from the start,” Sunset said heavily. “First I’m going to get Adagio and bring her back, and then I’m going to tell you guys everything. I thought I was protecting you from the danger of being curious about the pendants when I didn’t know enough about them myself, but I can see that all I’ve done is push you away. Especially Adagio. I’m sorry, Aria,” she said with a small laugh. “I think we made the wrong call.”
Aria shuffled a little. “Maybe,” she muttered, not looking up.
“You two stay here,” Sunset said, standing up. “I’ll be back soon.”
“But I—“ Sonata began, going to stand up.
“No,” Sunset interrupted. “This isn’t your fault. Either of you. It’s mine. Please wait here, and don’t leave the room.”
Without waiting for either of them to respond, Sunset opened the door and exited the room, closing the door a little sharply before speeding off down the hall.
Sonata stared at the door a while, and then looked at Aria. Aria looked back at her, but said nothing. With her good hand, she swung out arbitrarily at the coffee table, and let out an angry sigh.
Sunset had been utterly stupid. That’s what she told herself all the way there as she ran full pelt out of the front doors. She was a complete and total idiot, missing every obvious sign and underestimating her children at every instance. She ran down the street without regard for the few pedestrians she sped by, cut off a ford focus at the intersection which honked its horn at her, and swung around the corner to the street where Rarity’s family boutique stood proudly on the three-way intersection ahead.
She should have taken a clue from their resourcefulness, from the unusually maturity Aria had shown, and from Adagio’s suspicious nature, that her attempts to keep what she was doing from them when they were so close at hand was laughably naive. Of course they were going to find out; even Sonata had been curious enough to apparently listen in, and had been able to tell Adagio enough for her to see through Sunset’s petty deceptions.
She skidded to a stop at the door and gave it a shake: locked. She looked around for any sign of Adagio having tried to get in, or for a sign of the girl herself: nothing.
Sunset pulled out her phone and tried to call Rarity. The line buzzed for a few moments, and then Sunset impatiently ended the call. It was passed ten at night; the house was probably asleep.
In desperation, she circled the building.
“Adagio!” she hissed. Looking up, she saw a pair of small legs pulling themselves suddenly into a second-storey window above her. Sunset cursed and called Rarity again.
“Hello, darling,” said Rarity’s voice.
“Rarity!” Sunset gabbled. “Come down and open the—“
“I’m not at the phone right now,” Rarity continued cheerfully.
Sunset ended the call again, swearing louder than before.
“Adagio!” she called in her loudest whisper. “Get back down here, now!”
As might be expected, nothing happened.
Biting her lip and practically hopping on the spot, Sunset glanced at the huge dumpster that Adagio had used to boost herself up. It’d certainly hold her weight, and in keeping with Rarity’s disdain for all things filthy, looked as though it had been sprayed down recently. Hoisting herself up, she peered in through the window. “Adagio!” she called again in her loud whisper.
The room was dark, the brightest part being illuminated by the greyish half-light trickling in from the open crack in the doorway in front of the window. Sunset climbed in as quietly as she could, and saw a moving patch of darkness on the other end of the room. Closing the door quietly she flicked on the light to find herself in what was unmistakably a tailor’s work-room. Adagio, her bright orange hair flying, spun around, the bag of red shards in her hand. Sunset’s eyes flickered over the open box; she supposed that Rarity or Twilight had opened it.
Adagio regarded her with the same look of disgust she’d worn when she and the others had stolen the bag of pastries, so many weeks ago.
“Adagio, please let me—“
“You lied to me,” Adagio said in a low, fierce voice. Perhaps it was second nature to her as a thief, but her voice didn’t rise at all, but remained low and hissing. “You kept these from me, you didn’t tell me who I was. You lied to me!”
“Adagio, you don’t understand,” Sunset said hastily, aware even as she said it of how vapid and clichéd it sounded.
“Sonata told me!” Adagio said angrily, stomping her foot. “She told me who we used to be! You told Aria and didn’t tell us!”
“I know,” Sunset whispered, taking a step forward. “I’m sorry, I was going to tell you eventually. I just wanted to—“
“Shut up!” Adagio snapped, backing away from her. With a large shelf behind her she couldn’t go very far. “You expect me to believe anything you say?”
“No, I don’t,” Sunset replied, carefully edging forward some more. “I just ask that you listen to me for a moment.”
Adagio snorted, and set her hands to open the bag.
“Adagio, don’t!” Sunset gasped, leaping forward. Adagio tried to pull away, but with her back to the shelf behind her, Sunset managed to seize hold of part of the bag. She pulled. The bag tore open, scattering the shards glistening across the lavender carpet. Adagio fell back against the shelf, causing it to shake. The blue jewellery box fell with a muffled crash to the floor, sending Luna’s charm skidding away.
Sunset bent quickly down, hoping to take the fragments before Adagio could recover, but it was mostly on instinct. Her conscious mind told her what was going to happen, but it was too late to stop her actions now. No sooner had her hand touched the floor, then Adagio let out a cry of anger and scrabbled to snatch up the shards herself.
The world went black.
“I remember you,” said the snarling voice again.
Sunset opened her eyes. There again was the dragonish head, glaring at her. It flickered, its form disappearing and reappearing. It bore its sharp teeth, as though it intended to devour her, but then stopped. Its eyes focused onto something beside her. Sunset looked around, feeling no particular fear but the pangs of her recent scuffle. Adagio stood there, small and fragile looking. She stared at the dragon-head with wide eyes, and then screamed.
The head didn’t seem to be paying attention to the high-pitched ululation, but gazed down at her. It was hard to tell through its monstrous features, but Sunset thought she detected confusion in the dragon’s expression. Perhaps even unease.
“I... remember you...” the dragon breathed wistfully. “I remember...” It paused, as though trying to think what to say. And then it was gone. Just like that. The blackness all around changed. Adagio’s scream stopped abruptly like a microphone being cut off, to be replaced by new sounds. New smells and sights. New feelings.
Sunset was being dragged down a dark corridor. She knew it was a corridor because of the echoing effect all around of the quick footsteps and the reverberations of the voices all around. She was surrounded by a group of robed people, all hurrying along at a quick pace, two of them holding Sunset by the upper arms, dragging her along. She was breathing quickly, an unaccountable panic surging through her. Something was happening that she was terribly afraid of. Then two large doors opened in front of her, and her vision was momentarily scorched by the light of a thousand points of light.
Her ears were assaulted by what sounded like the rustle and chatter of a multitude of insects, until it died down and she understood what it actually was. Whispers.
Her eyes opened without her volition, and if she could have, she would have gasped. She was in a large, rectangular room held up by robust and ornate pillars set into two rows. Against the two side walls and the far wall were raised stone benches, although in places there stood several wooden chairs. Every one of these seats, from end to end, was full of people, all of whom wore dark blue cloaks with golden lace creating the seven-sided pattern.
Sunset’s head swivelled from side to side, and she felt the need to cry bubbling up inside of her.
“And now, for the proof beyond doubt!” said a loud voice. The proportions of the chamber made it so that the man’s voice rang out distinctly throughout every corner of the room, and with a surge of mingled recognition and dislike that was entirely her own, Sunset recognised the Ram. He stood at the centre of the stone-flagged floor in the middle of the room, where every seated person could see him.
The people holding Sunset pushed her firmly forward so that she was also standing in the middle of the floor. About fifty pairs of eyes were focused upon her; some looked curious, other wary. Several were whispering to each other in low voices, their eyes narrowed.
“This is to be the test subject?” asked an incredulous voice.
Sunset’s eyes swivelled to the source of the sound. What looked like the oldest man in the room, with a beard that touched the floor and a frame so bent with age that he seemed to resemble an upper-case S, stepped forward, tapping his stick on the stone floor as he moved from the benches. “This is to be what we lay our hopes upon?”
“You have an objection, Pen Stroke?” the Ram asked in the flinty tone of an impatient person trying to be polite.
“You know damn well I do,” the old man snapped. For a split second, Sunset saw him as he really was; a spindly sheep, weighed down with age and the weight of his blue cloak, but then resumed being the walking S, jabbing his stick upon the floor and scowling.
“Then let the chamber hear why you would interrupt this great experiment.”
“You all know my reasons!” old Pen Stroke said creakily to the room at large. He glared around, waving his stick to emphasise his words. “Not all among us trust this method. It is too dangerous to trifle with.”
Instant uproar. A number of people in the crowd began haranguing the old man, whilst still others seemed to be trying to voice their support. Sunset felt the child’s fear inside her growing, but her own mind was focused entirely on the debate.
After a few moments, the Ram raised his hands, and the babble began to quieten.
“Hear me, dear friends,” he said suavely. “Our more sceptical members are right to be cautious.” He gave the old man a sanctimonious little nod. “But is the purpose of this demonstration not to quash those reservations?”
“What of the jewel?” a woman demanded, standing up. “We do not yet have enough of them to preserve all of our senior membership. We cannot be flippant in our usage of them.”
“Fear not,” the Ram announced. “The jewel is easily removed from their hosts. Prior experiments have shown the effects of the jewels over the course of years on lesser creatures. Our order has spent centuries developing this technique for eventual use, and now our generation shall be the first to reap the rewards. Our age old promise to the world will finally be a reality!”
A rousing chorus of cheering erupted at this, although not from everyone. Pen Stroke didn’t seem terribly swayed by it. He tapped his stick impatiently and looked beadily around.
“Enoch’s report on the potential for the apotheostones to—“ he got no farther than that.
“Enoch is a traitor!” one person cried.
“He abandoned our cause in its hour of direst need!” shouted another.
“Honourable members!” the Ram cried. “Please, brothers and sisters, let us have order!”
The crowd began to die back down, but one who was still standing took the opportunity to say “We have come so close to fulfilling our promise of bringing about enlightenment to the world! We can’t afford squeamishness now.”
“Joint Season is correct!” announced another, standing up as well. “We stand on at the precipice of the abyss where dwell the answers to questions untold. Shall we be those who when our forefathers devoted their lives for us to reach this point now turn away from fear of the unknown?”
“It is merely an experiment after all,” the Ram added in a patronising tone, spreading his arms in a gesture of goodwill.
This seemed to change the general mood of the room to a more positive state. Pen Stroke seemed to inflate with dissatisfaction, his face going red. He glared at the Ram, who gave him a victorious grin. With a huff, the old man sat down again upon his wooden chair, leaning forward on his stick.
“Be there no more objections?” the Ram inquired of the chamber, in the confident tone of one who knew the answer before asking the question. Silence. “Very well then.”
The Ram turned to face Sunset for the first time. With a gesture, the robed figures released Sunset’s arms. She felt a real need to run away grip her, but at the same time some internal control asserted itself to root her to the spot. The Ram held out his hand, and Sunset’s rose tentatively to meet it. Small, covered in grime and dust, a lighter yellow than her usual skin tone. Adagio’s hand.
“From the surrounding towns, several of our trusted members, myself amongst them, have selected this child as possessing a greater than average intellect and strength of mind, to be the first sentient being upon which we witness the birth of a glorious new age!”
A smattering of applause met this speech, but it couldn’t have been plainer to Sunset that the audience was too interested in the prospective event to pay too much attention to what was being said. Perhaps sensing this, the Ram smiled, and waved over the people in robes. They stepped forward, and took manacles from the nearby pillars. Sunset’s placement in the centre of the hall had not been a matter of caprice; they shackled her wrists, but the chains were long enough that her arms were not suspended. Nonetheless she felt her mouth wrench itself open and start to protest.
“Shh, quiet now,” the Ram said sweetly. “Everything is going to be fine. It’s merely a precaution, alright? You’re going to be alright.”
Being in essence the same person as her, Sunset could sense that the past Adagio had not found this reassurance the least bit comforting. Nevertheless, she made an effort to quieten herself.
“Do not fear,” the Ram breathed. “Soon we’ll be together forever. Soon we shall be immortal.”
He stood up again, eagerness all over his face. He gestured for another figure to step forward. Sunset noticed that the entire room watched this person avidly. Robed in the same dark blue garb as everyone else, the person emerging from the shadows held a large cushion before them. Once they’d reached the Ram, they knelt, and offered the cushion up to him. With delicate fingers, the Ram lifted whatever was upon it up into the air.
If Sunset could have made a sound, she might have gasped. The siren’s pendant, gleaming in the light of many candles, shone like frozen blood over the Ram’s head. And on the cushion, Sunset could just about see, two more of them...
“Behold the future of our order!” he cried. “And of the world!”
He turned, every eye upon him, and walked slowly towards Adagio. Sunset felt Adagio’s stomach churning, felt her wrists pulling at the restraints. Either the Ram didn’t notice her terror or didn’t care, but he lifted the gem up, and then lowered it by its black strap over Adagio’s trembling head. With ostentatious care, he lowered it to rest dead centre over her sternum, and stood straight again. With a flourish, he reached inside of his robe and produced a short, broad knife with an ornate handle.
At this point, Sunset’s own mind began to jump ahead, as though she realised suddenly what was about to happen. She barely registered Adagio’s renewed struggling and crying, or the strange sense of pain occurring to her as the knife pierced Adagio’s chest; a strange sensation to feel the pain of someone else.
Blood trickled down from the shallow wound, and ran like red water over the pendant.
A dead silence filled the room. The pendant glowed, bathing the entire room in a scarlet glow. The faces all around looked ghastly and ancient, as though they were aging to bone before Sunset’s eyes. And then the light dimmed back, and everything... everything changed.
Sunset could feel it. Like the feeling one gets when one is sure someone is standing behind them, Sunset had up until now felt the younger Adagio’s mind like a presence. But now that presence was gone. In its place was something... larger. Something that was Adagio, but also was not. For the first time, Sunset herself felt real fear for what she was sharing this memory with.
Her perception of the room had altered as well. Perhaps influenced by Adagio’s child perception, everyone around her had seemed so big and incomprehensible only a moment ago. Whilst she could see no physical change, it seemed to Sunset that they were all so much smaller than before. Tiny even. Insignificant. And then the rage came. A terrible, bubbling anger, then tempered down, restrained by the new presence within Adagio.
“Success!” the Ram boomed, after peering into Sunset’s eyes. Sunset felt herself staring steadily back at him, her face expressionless. The chamber erupted into cheering. The people all around stood, clapped, whooped, and even hugged each other. “The bonding has been a success!” the Ram said again. ”With this final proof of the efficacy of the technique, finally we—“
“Where am I?” Sunset heard her own mouth say.
The room went quiet. It was most disconcerting; the voice had not shouted, or even raised itself. It had been barely above a whisper, and yet it carried so clearly through the cacophony of noise that everyone in the room had apparently heard it. The Ram looked curiously back at her, a slight frown on his face.
“I am chained,” Adagio said, as though only just noticing.
The Ram paused, looking quickly around before saying “Yes. An unfortunate but necessary precaution. We shall free you—“
“It was quite needless,” Adagio said, still in the quite voice. “Oh, to be alive.”
The murmur of whispers began again, as the Ram, looking concerned now, looked between Adagio and the room at large.
“Adagio?” he asked. “It is you, Adagio?”
“Oh yes,” Adagio replied, her lips pulling back in a smile.
The Ram nodded uncertainly. “Are you in any pain? Is there a discomfort you feel?”
“Yes,” she said, if possible in an even lower voice. “Yes I am in pain. A great deal of pain.”
“Should a child be speaking like that?” a voice hissed to its neighbour.
“Very odd for a young girl,” concurred another.
The Ram was starting to look decidedly unsettled. He cleared his throat. “If you are in pain, then we shall of course release you and tend to whatever it is that ails you.”
“Do not concern yourself,” Adagio said, her smile widening. “It’s something that I need to attend to myself.”
Sunset felt her head, which had been bowed since the Ram had drawn Adagio’s blood, raise itself so that she was looking at the ceiling. She opened her mouth wide, and let out a long, unbearably sad note. It rose and fell perfectly, filling the entire room with its reverberations. And then Sunset’s heart skipped a beat.
All around her, she saw a faint, greenish mist that had not been there before. It floated on the air like fog, ebbing and flowing as it poured into the room like noxious gas. Then Sunset saw it; it was coming from the people all around, oozing out of them as they all stared entranced.
“W-What is this?” Pen Stroke asked, standing up and gaping at Adagio. “What’s going on? What have you done?” He turned to the Ram, who was looking just as dumbstruck.
“I... I don’t...” he stammered.
“You have caused me pain,” Adagio said, as her note came to an end. “No. Stay.”
Sunset couldn’t see it happen, but she heard the great doors behind her boom shut, and a rattling as though of something large on the other side being set into place. The occupants of the room began to panic.
“Who ordered them to shut the doors?” someone yelled.
“They’ve locked us in!” another cried hysterically, hammering upon the thick wood.
“Who... what are you?” the Ram gasped, his voice trembling. His eyes widened in terror, staring at something above Sunset, something that was making a low, rumbling, growl.
“I’m Adagio Dazzle,” Adagio chuckled, a terrible joy surging through her as a muscular, golden tail snapped the chains holding her in place. “Adore me.”
The Ram backed up quickly, but with a piteous cry cut off mid-shriek, rows of sharp teeth descended upon him.
Sunset wanted desperately to look away, but Adagio was watching the gruesome spectacle with an almost hungry delight. After a few moments, the enormous golden creature turned, maw dripping and bloody, its eyes fixed upon the screaming and cowering people pressed against the door.
Adagio laughed, a high, spine-chilling laugh, and everything went black.
The most disconcerting thing about coming back to herself was the cruel laughter still ringing in her ears. After a second or two however, she realised that whilst it was the same voice, it wasn’t laughing. It was screaming. The scream was so prolonged and high pitched that at first Sunset didn’t recognise it for what it was.
Sunset blinked hard, and her dimly lit surroundings came back into focus.
“Adagio!” she blurted.
In the next few moments, several things happened all at once. Sunset dropped to her knees in front of Adagio, trying to calm her down. The girl’s palms were bleeding where she’d apparently gripped the fragments hard enough to pierce her, but now her hands were clutching at her face.
“Adagio, it’s okay, it wasn’t real!” Sunset promised, trying as gently as she could to pry away Adagio’s hands, blood running down her pale cheeks.
“Sweetie Belle!?” a loud male voice boomed.
Sunset’s head turned to the door as an enormous boot kicked it open. Dazzled slightly by the brighter light of the hallway beyond, all Sunset could make out was a tall, bulky silhouette in the light, holding something long and shining.
In that moment, it was beyond conscious thought; Sunset knew what was about to happen, as though it were an old movie she’d watched a hundred times. She saw the figure jump in surprise at Adagio’s renewed shrieking, saw the thing in its hands rise.
Sunset’s arms leapt up a split second before any conscious command for them to do so could possibly have been made, and closed tightly around Adagio’s shoulders.
An intolerably loud sound erupted in Sunset’s ears. It seemed to fill the air around her, it seemed to fill the entire world, reverberating back upon her just as it seemed it was going to abate.
The next thing Sunset was properly conscious of was being on her back. Blurry faces swam in and out of sight above her. She thought to see Twilight’s face, wide eyed as though something horrible had happened. Then came Adagio’s, streaks of dark red across her cheeks like war paint.
That makes no sense, Sunset thought vaguely. This is a weird dream.
Oddest of all was Rarity. Sunset honestly thought there must be something deeply psychologically wrong with herself, since her dream Rarity for some reason looked like the creature from the black lagoon. Only with hair curlers, and green mud on her face rather than brown.
She decided that she didn’t really care much about it. It was a dream after all. She closed her eyes, and dreamt no more.
Sunset awoke to the smell of lemon scent and chlorine. She had a vague impression of having memories about what had happened to her recently, but they were so insubstantial that she doubted they were real. Something about lying in a bed with faceless people moving around her, and bright lights glaring down upon her like malevolent stars. If her better judgement hadn’t been there to set her straight, she might have thought that she’d been abducted by aliens.
A strange, rasping sound came from somewhere very nearby. So nearby, it seemed to be all around her. And then she realised that she had a plastic breathing mask over her mouth. She tried to reach a hand up to remove it, but the moment she moved her arm a surge of dull pain shot up her side. She groaned.
“Oh, you’re conscious,” said a voice close by.
“Ugh...?” was all Sunset could muster in response.
By-and-by, Sunset’s vision solidified into a picture of a greyish white room full of clinical looking decorations in blues and greens. A large purple chair sat in a corner under a tall chrome lamp, and the windows had white blinds across them. The person who’d spoken came closer, and it was by this woman standing over her that Sunset came to understanding that she was lying on something. The woman took hold of her arm and felt her pulse, checking the machine beeping quietly next to the bed.
“Do you feel any stiffness? Are you in any pain?”
“I don’t... I guess so.”
“Stiff or pain?”
“Both,” Sunset grunted. “Can I have something to drink? I’m really thirsty.”
The woman, who Sunset could now see to be a nurse in a pale lavender uniform, clicked a button on the bed to make Sunset’s upper body rise up.
“Don’t try to move too much,” the nurse ordered. “You’ve only been here a few days. If you try to exert yourself too much you could pull out your stitches.”
“Stitches?” Sunset asked, puzzled.
The nurse raised an eyebrow. “You’re in hospital, dear,” she said more kindly. “You’ve been shot. You might not remember everything about the whole ordeal. Just lay back and let it come slowly.”
She helped Sunset sip water from a glass through a straw. Sunset’s memory was slow coming, as though her brain had shut down and it was now so full of rust, dust, and grit, that it was having a hard time starting up again. An uncertain picture of a dimly lit room popped up in her head, along with some fuzzy people moving around in it. Then she remembered the chamber. She remembered the people inside, and the terrible fate that had befallen them. Everything surged back in a confusing stream of incoherent pictures.
Sunset spluttered on the straw, water erupting from her mouth. The nurse jumped back a little, surprised.
“Adagio!” Sunset exclaimed. “W-Where’s Adagio? How did I get here? What—“
“Dear, you need to calm down!” the nurse said in a firm yet soothing tone, trying to hold Sunset’s shoulders down.
“No!” Sunset cried. “No, I have to get her back! She went... she went to—“
“Please calm down!” the nurse barked. “If you don’t I will be forced to strap you to the bed! You’re not in any condition to be moving!”
“But I can’t stay here! I need to get Adagio back!”
“I don’t know who Adagio is, dear,” the nurse said testily, “but you have visitors if you’d like to see them.”
The nurse seemed to realise that this was the right thing to say. Her grip on Sunset’s shoulders lessened a little as Sunset ceased struggling.
“Visitors?” Sunset asked, puzzled. “Wait, what am I doing here?”
“I told you, dear,” the nurse said, patiently. “You’ve been shot. Entered through the lower back and tore through your abdominal cavity. Your blood loss was substantial, so you’ll probably be feeling very weak for a while.”
Sunset barely heard her. Around the corner of the sliding door popped a mane of bubbly pink hair.
“Ha-ha!” Pinkie cried. “Hey, Sunset’s awake!”
The nurse spluttered in disapproval as three people rushed into the room and leapt to the bedside. Sunset tried for a smile as Pinkie, Twilight, and Rarity all gazed down at her, though she wasn’t sure it came off well.
“How you doing?” Pinkie asked in her typical cheerful manner.
“I’ve been better,” Sunset chuckled. Or at least, her voice shook like it might have been a chuckle, although Sunset didn’t remember a chuckle hurting quite so much.
“Darling,” Rarity gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. “Oh, Sunset, I’m so sorry!”
Sunset had kind of expected this. “Don’t be, Rarity,” she said, attempting a kind, breezy sort of voice which, again, didn’t quite come off as she hoped it would. “It was an accident.”
“If I’d just picked up my phone,” Rarity hiccupped. “You called me to open the door, I heard the voice mail! This might never have happened.”
“Rarity,” Twilight whispered, putting a hand on her shoulder
“It’s okay, Twilight,” Sunset muttered. “Rarity, I don’t really remember what happened so well, so hey, don’t worry about it.”
Rarity sniffled in a particular way that might have been meant for a laugh.
“No, seriously,” Sunset said. “I really don’t remember everything that happened. I kind of got this big surge of memories from the pendant fragments, so that’s mostly what I remember. I do vaguely remember being in your house and a loud bang sound.”
“Oh.” Twilight raised her eyebrows. “Oh, well, um... it’s kind of complicated,” she said, side-glancing at Rarity.
“It’s alright,” Rarity said, making an effort to compose herself. “She needs to know.”
“Rarity’s dad shot you in the back thinking you were breaking into his house. He’s in jail now,” Pinkie said in her usual rapid, machine-gun voice.
Rarity burst into tears. As Twilight tried to stem the tide of the fashionista’s running mascara, Pinkie took on an unexpectedly more serious expression.
“We thought you’d die,” she said quietly. “And after all that time trying to teach you Greek.”
Sunset gave a few hacking coughs. “No offense, Pinkie, but it kind of hurts to laugh.”
“Your next batch of pain killers is due soon,” the nurse said reassuringly. “I’ll be right back.”
Once she’d left, and Rarity was calm enough, Sunset spoke up again.
“What happened afterwards?” she asked. “Where’re the kids? If I’ve been in her for days—“
“Oh don’t worry,” Twilight interrupted, smiling. “Applejack’s family took them in for a while.” She frowned slightly, as though puzzled. “For some reason Apple Bloom didn’t seem entirely happy about it.”
“Oh, well,” Sunset said, blushing a little as she remembered the events in the park. “Kids will be kids.”
“So all we have to do is wait for you to get better,” Pinkie trilled with robust cheerfulness. “Need a kidney? Some intestines? A liver? I’m pretty sure I have three of those or something, so I can spare one if you need it.”
“Pinkie, seriously,” Sunset said, grinning. “It hurts to laugh.”
Just at that moment, Rarity’s phone rang. She excused herself to take it.
“A surge of memories from the pendants shards,” Twilight said, sounding intrigued. “I guessed you’d been trying to get them from Adagio. What happened?”
Sunset gave the short version of what she’d seen, and the events leading up to them. Twilight’s face became a mask of conflicting emotions; Sunset could well sympathise. She knew that Twilight’s academic interest was vying against her more natural feelings of empathy for Sunset, and for what had happened to Adagio.
“Well,” she said after a few moments. “One of history’s great mysteries solved. No one ever did know what happened to the Lotus Society. Now we do.”
“Slaughtered by angry child-immortal hybrid,” Pinkie said, nodding matter-of-factly.
“Quite,” Twilight said quickly. “But revenge though... unless the siren whose heart the pendant was forged from had some grievance with the society, that implies to me that... well, um...”
“That Adagio took revenge on them,” Sunset finished with a sigh. “You’re right. She did.”
Pinkie and Twilight looked at each other uncomfortably.
“Don’t get me wrong,” Sunset continued hastily, feeling an unaccountable need to defend Adagio. “She felt wronged by the one who’d gotten her into the whole thing, but she didn’t want to kill him. Not until after he put the pendant on her. After that, it was like... it was like all of her worst traits multiplied a hundred fold. The anger and pain, and the persona she put on to hide it all just became everything, with this... thing, this weight in her mind urging me to control everything.”
“Me?” Twilight asked, frowning.
Sunset blinked. “Oh, I mean her. Urging her to control everything.” She pursed her lips. “Sorry. It was kind of a first-person perspective thing.” She paused as an awkward silence set between them. “Do you think AJ could bring the kids around to see me? I kind of need to talk to... to them.” She’d been going to say to Adagio, but she thought better of it.
“Oh sure,” Pinkie beamed. “I know Sonata’s been really, really worried. And Aria asked about you a few times too. I can call AJ up and ask if you like.”
Sunset hesitated, as she had been about to ask if Adagio had asked about her too, when Rarity came dashing back into the room, a distinctly panicked look on her face.
“Rarity?” Twilight asked, looking quite surprised at the ashen complexion of Rarity’s usually perfect, opalescent face. For a few moments Rarity seemed unable to do anything but mouth wordlessly, looking between Sunset, Twilight, and Pinkie, as though unsure which of them to speak to.
“That’s an awesome impression of a fish, Rarity,” Pinkie commented, rubbing her chin and turning her head to get a better angle on Rarity’s expression.
This nonsensical remark seemed to jog Rarity into speaking. She swallowed.
“I just... Applejack called me. She said... she said...” She directed a guilty look at Sunset and then looked quickly away again.
Before Sunset or anybody else was able to ask anything else, the nurse returned looking most confused, and a little uncertain. Behind her stepped a young woman in official dress, carrying a sheaf of papers under her arm. Sunset was immediately reminded of the store manager from the supermarket she’d been banned from. More disconcerting than this, a policeman in full uniform walked behind this woman, and stood with his arms folded by the door to the room.
The woman who’d arrived with the nurse gave the room a quick survey, taking in Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity, and the nurse, before finally looking at Sunset.
“Sunset Shimmer?” she asked. She had no particular accent, and spoke in a tone as crisp and official as her wardrobe.
“Yes?” Sunset replied as audibly as she could. She didn’t know who the woman could be; possibly some hospital official come to tell her how much she owed for hospital bills. The thought made her stomach churn. But why was there a policeman with her?
The woman’s lips thinned a little. She took the papers from under her arm, and pulled out two, the first of which she kept one eye on as she spoke. “I’m from social services. I’ve come to inform you that the three children under your care have been taken into protective custody.”
A short silence followed this, broken only by the electrical hum of wiring all around, and the beeps of the machine by Sunset’s bed. The beeping escalated a fraction. Apparently taking advantage of the lack of response, the woman continued.
“I’ve also been asked to inform you that as of this moment, you are being treated as a suspect in the misappropriation of wards of the state, and a potential accessory to three counts of the unlawful placement of a child to an unsuitable individual.” She paused and looked up from the paper she had been reading. “Until such a time—“
“Unlawful placement?” Rarity exclaimed.
“You’ve taken the girls?” Twilight asked, aghast.
“Unsuitable individual?” Pinkie demanded, as though she thought the woman was crazy. “There’s no one more suitable!”
The woman seemed to pretend not to hear Pinkie’s objection. “Yes, we have appropriated the children. They were illegally given into Ms. Shimmer’s care. A formal inquiry into how that occurred is being carried out by my department, and a separate police investigation has been opened into Ms. Shimmer’s part in it.”
“You think Sunset—“ Pinkie growled, but seemed incapable of saying more.
“Ms. Shimmer is a seventeen year old. That is well below the legal age for adoption or foster care.” She turned to Sunset, who could find nothing to say. “Until the investigation has determined your guilt in the matter, you’ll be placed under guard in this hospital. When you are well enough to leave, you shall be escorted into custody for formal questioning.”
“You can’t just arrest her!” Rarity objected. “She’s done nothing wrong!”
“She will not be arrested until formal charges have been levied against her. The police however consider that her being culpable in the matter warrants guarding her within this hospital until the situation can be clarified. She is therefore being treated as a suspect.”
“You took them away,” Sunset whispered, perhaps too quietly for anyone to hear her.
Sunset paid no attention to whatever was said after this. After a short while of her friends protesting, the woman left, as did the nurse after leaving a small plastic cup with several pills in it on Sunset’s side table.
“S-Sunset?” Twilight asked tentatively.
Sunset didn’t respond. Nothing around her seemed real. Even herself tucked within the bed sheets seemed to be almost a dream, floating meaninglessly awash in Sunset’s collapsing world.
“I think we might need to give her a moment of privacy,” Rarity whispered to the other two.
“But shouldn’t we... We can’t leave her like...” Pinkie said uncertainly.
“Trust me, darling,” Rarity said thickly. “We’ll be outside if she needs us, but I really think she’ll need a moment to herself.”
The three of them walked out of the room, all with pained expressions. Pinkie stopped at the door and looked back, biting her trembling lip.
At this point Sunset had no capacity to care if anyone saw her, but no sooner had her friends shut the door behind them, the tears began to fall. They fell silently, staining the sheets and pillow, leaving the whiteness grey and toneless.
- To be Continued
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Aw man... Aw man! All of my worst predictions happened! ALL OF THEM! Even to the detail of the Apples watching the kids! D: I didn't quite call Social Services taking the kids though... Like, I don't even... wow. I've gotta say, good sir. You don't pull your punches! Just, man... let's just say my heart was pumping the whole time I was reading.
I really hope that things work out for all of them. Sunset and the young girls, and even the others have sacrificed so much, it would be absolutely heartrending if things fell apart permanently. I suspect, though, that you've got something more hopeful and positive in mind...
A chapter well worth the wait. I eagerly anticipate to see what you've got planned next.
If you think about it, Social services taking the kids would have been a logical outcome.
Chrysalis CLEARLY stated that if Sunset were ever found out, or if an incident of importance were to require legal investigation, the documents given to sunset would hold no water so to speak.
And then, reality ensued.
Well that's torn it. They need to get the kids out and Sunset into Equestria ASAP or else they're screwed.
Only one solution. Back to Equestria.
Now I wonder what Adagio's mindset is... did they both get the same vision at the same time?
Was Adagio aware of Sunset's thoughts?
Could Adagio even grasp the monumental significance of Sunset's research?
And does Adagio understand that Sunset just took a bullet for her, nearly dying?
Sunset hiding the truth was a kick in the gut to the kid, but now that she know WHAT that HORRIBLE truth was will she still want it?
5999137
5999179
Also this can only end in a kidnapping and epic escape into Equestria, the Feds likely know Sunset isn't legit either.
Oh now you're just making this too easy.
Yikes, this is only getting darker and darker isn't it? I just hope everybody makes it out alive, and Rarity's dad out of jail.
You know what I think the girls should do? Uncover everything. I mean the sirens, magic, Equestria, everything. Pretty much all problems in the story so far came only to be because some people purposely withheld information from other people. Between the magic shards, the magic book, the magic portal, the talking dog and some more magic it's not as if they're lacking for evidence to not just let me appear as nut cases. This would make everything so much easier!
Gosh dangit. I knew something like this was going to happen. That is why I was hesitant to read this chapter immediately.
I can only hope things get better.
On a related note, I think Sunset is more than 16, but rhen again she did turn into a teenager when she crossed.
Please update soon!
That should be capitalized.
Also, Sunset is a senior in highschool. She'd be at least seventeen, if not eighteen. Unless she managed to skip a grade upon arrival to earth. Just saying.
Holy. Crap this chapter was intense, and I literally had to punch. Something in denial when they said the kids were taken away, but jeez today was just one of those days for sunset
Augh, I am sorely tempted to downvoted this story after this chapter. I won't, but I'm tempted. The coincidences where far to ridiculous to be anything other than poorly implemented plot devices. The worst ones being Rarity not picking up the phone when she needed just so the whole shooting thing could happen, visitors just so happen to be at the hospital days after the incident at the moment Sunset wakes up, and social services coming in at the same time mere moments after Rarity get's the news to tell Sunset her kids were taken. There were others, but these were the biggest offenders (though the first could easily be made plausible by Pinkie saying her pinkie sense told her when Sunset would be waking up).
Hopefully things play out a little more believably in the next chapter.
6001322
I thought a lot of those things made sense; Rarity was probably preparing for sleep or applying her mud mask, and thus didn't answer her phone (plus she had no way of knowing it was Sunset- given who she is, any number of people could be calling her). And I imagine that her friends were visiting every day to check up on Sunset in the hospital- otherwise, it would be weird that Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and the girls weren't there as well to visit. Rarity would come regularly as she feels guilty, and Pinkie is a close friend to Sunset, so them visiting more often makes sense. Twilight would come along with Rarity and Pinkie.
As for the social services, the woman may have been there for information and just happened to have Sunset wake while she was there. If she didn't come talk to Sunset at that time, though, she would have talked to Sunset within a day or so, but the kids would already have been taken by then. One way or another, everyone would have learned what was happening pretty quickly (a phone call would have also shared the same info). I imagine thought that the worker had just stopped by the Apple's for the kids before heading straight to the hospital- perhaps she got a notice that Sunset was awake. She could have also have been just swinging by to station the cop, and happened to find Sunset awake.
At least, this is how I see it. ^-^ This massive collapse was set up and foreshadowed throughout most of the story, so I don't really see it as a bunch of coincidences, but as a bunch of unfortunate interconnected risks all tied together. Of course, this is all just my two-cents, so take of it what you will. :3
6001322
I see your points, so let me address them one by one for neatness' sake.
1/ Rarity was asleep, so didn't answer her phone. Clearly indicated by her appearance after Sunset was shot. No coincidence there. Rarity answered her phone in previous chapter.
2/ Sunset being shot was clearly, and painstakingly foreshadowed from chapter 1, and several times through the story. No coincidence there.
3/ Rarity, Twilight, and Pinkie have been visiting daily, Rarity out of guilt, Twilight because her entire purpose for being there is because of Sunset, and Pinkie because of how involved she was in the whole affair. No coincidence there in my opinion. I mean come on, they're friends.
If all of their friends were there in totality, I would get your point.
The only one of those that I'll grant is that social services showed up, and even that I tentatively grant because they showed up at about the same time as Sunset waking. I probably should have made them appear at some other time that day, or the next day, but I gave them a few days to perform an investigation, and find out that Sunset wasn't legit, which I foreshadowed ages ago when Chrysalis gave her the false papers.
I'm not sure if you meant it this way - I'm not one to mind criticism - , and I mean no offense here, but please don't phrase your comments in the manner of a threat. If you downvote this or any other story, that's your prerogative. But don't sit there at your computer screen telling me about how out of the goodness of your heart you refrained from doing it until you see evidence of me doing better next time.
I really don't appreciate it.
6000270 It doesn't deserve to be capitalised. It really doesn't. (That's a joke by the way)
6001124 Is kind of one of collapsing world moments, yes.
5999850 Yeah, one or two other people have pointed out the age thing. In England we get into the final year of high school at sixteen, so that kind of snuck in there. I always forget US high schools finish at 18.
5999651 Not too sure about the repurcussions of letting a non-magical society of human beings knowing about a land of magical horses. Pretty sure there'd be some consequences down the line for that one.
Maybe it'd work, but I keep remembering every movie I've ever seen where they let the one guy in on the secret, and he ends up telling the army or something.
5999419 I'm hoping that Adagio's mindset will become clear in the next two chapters. She did experience the same memories that Sunset did, but they didn't view it together. The presence Sunset experienced was that of Adagio's memory-self, and later of her hybridised memory-self, which is why she could know what the memory-Adagio was feeling.
Adagio's prerogative in the whole affair was simply to reclaim something she believed Sunset to have stolen. Her goals aren't too sophisticated here. Her afflicted mindset and her age make her objectives and views very simplistic but equally set. Even understanding that Sunset was doing something to help her might not be enough to sway her.
5999101 You're entirely correct. And that's how things played out. Foreshadowing 101
5998754 Oh, well now I have to write up something really quick where they all die horribly in a police chase.
6002041 What, you got something against US made vehicles? (Joking) I dare say they are the best made in the world, aside from German!
also, if you change the age to seventeen, it'd be perfect, seeing as that's still too young to be a legal guardian. Not way too young, but too young regardless.
6002073 Meh, damn American cars (joking?)
17 sounds like a good compromise. As I say it was a bit bamboozled by the different ages between US and UK high schools.
6002041 Well duh, because they've told the army, not the public. You gotta go to the great masses of the people, not let some state cover it up for the interests of the ruling class under the guise of "national security".
6002109 I could say the same for your cars... if i could think of any... BMW maybe? I'm not sure...
also, glad to see you're opeh to compromise. 'A Good man stands his ground no matter what, but a great man acknowledges when it is appropriate to change.' No that's not a famous quote. I just came up with that. Right here, lying in bed, half awake...
...damn I'm good.
6002138 And modest too
6002243 naturally.
6002020
Eh, those arguments sound kind of weak. Plausible, but not probable. Like Rarity not answering her phone because she was sleeping. Most people, myself included, sleep with their phones next to their beds for the purpose of, in case it rings, being awakened and being able to answer them late in the night. After all, if someone's calling you at 3AM, it's probably an emergency, as Sunset demonstrated. The phone rang enough times to go to voice mail, but Rarity slept through it? For someone who makes it a point to be well rested, she sure is a heavy sleeper.
Then theirs apparently waiting at the hospital to be present when Sunset wakes up. Visiting hours on average run for nine hours a day; good friends or not, you expect me to believe these three girls sat around for such a long time at the hospital just to be their at the right moment? I can believe such a thing on the fist day, maybe the second, but after that the consensus would be to go home and wait for the call that their friend was awake to come in.
Really, it's not that these things happened, like you said, the shot was foreshadowed, but the way it all went down seemed forced when other, more likely scenarios seemed prominent. Like in horror films, we know the ditzy blonde is going to be killed, but their are certain ways that should be avoided. What happened in this chapter felt to me like the equivalent of the victim tripping on nothing while being chased or a perfectly good car not starting at the worst moment.
Not sure if this is making sense, but it's just how I feel. I like the story, but sometimes, things just seem unlikely, and these moments seem like they easily could have been avoided. For instance, like you mentioned, having the social services arrive at a different time. Same with the conveniently placed phone call from Applejack. Another example being the girls showing up a little after Sunset woke up instead of having them be their from the beginning. These things can be fixed simply, like Rarity being in the shower in applying her beauty mask with the bathroom door shut. I would have believed these scenarios over sleeping through rining.
P.S.
The memory Sunest saw can kind of be seen as one of those, "Really?" moments as well. What are the odds she'd see the memory she had been looking for on accident after a bunch of failed, intentional attempts? This one isn't that bad though, just an observation that can probably be explained by Adaigio's presence at their emotional state at the time. Magic generally works like that.
6002370 For the benefit of other people reading this, the memory seen was not random, but triggered by Adagio being recognised by the previously awoken shattered entity within the shards.
Well, it seems that I can't convince you. You see it as weak, I don't. I'm not willing to argue a point that is entirely subjective. I've done my best to foreshadow and make the business as believable and concise as possible. If you can't or won't see it that way, then there's not much else I can do.
6002393
Figured as much, Like I said: "This one isn't that bad though, just an observation that can probably be explained by Adaigio's presence and their emotional states at the time. Magic generally works like that."
Just a moment where the cause wasn't abundantly clear, but easily imagined.
As for the main events, you did a good job of foreshadowing them; I knew someone was going to be shot and that Child Services was going to mess things up, I just didn't know how it was going to go down and was a little disappointing when it finally did. Felt like there were a lot of rolled 1's involved:
"You are suspicious that one of the children have been spying on you, take an intelligence check to see if you can figure out who... Okay, a one, you're going to drop the subject until it blows up in your face."
"You here the phone ringing through your dreams, take a willpower check to see if you wake up to answer, really only need to roll a three or more for this... Rolled a one, you roll over and ignore it until a gunshot wakes you up later."
"Two figures are huddle on the ground and you here the voice of a child screaming, roll wisdom... Wow, another one? Okay, you shoot first and ask questions later, risking a child's safety"
Anyway, I like the over all story, This just felt like the weakest chapter, and even then, it wasn't horrible, just seemed like it could have been better.
P.S.
Did the dad thing the screaming was Sweetie and that she was being attacked, then upon entering the room thought Sunset was an attacker and Adaigio his daughter? That's what I assumed happened when the dad yelled, but wasn't entirely sure. Either way, Adaigio is lucky the bullet didn't go through Sunset and still hit her.
6002475 I thought long and hard about what kind of gun the dad would have. At first I thought a shotgun, but that seemed like overkill and too powerful to make a survival scene likely. I settled on a rifle without setting specific models to avoid people pointing out its power or penetration. I don't know much about guns.
Initially yes, the dad reckoned he heard Sweetie Belle scream, entered the room, and then became startled by the sound of more screaming and unfamiliar figures in a darkened room. He fired reactionarily.
*Clutches heart* That ending... damn...
Also, I had a cousin who was shot... by a shotgun... in the back.
Goddammit things just got seriously complicated.
6002041
Oh gosh! xD
Also, now that I am properly awake, I can actually comment! (I apologize for the near-incoherent mess that last comment was-- I read and commented after pulling an all-nighter, and was still pumped with adrenaline from the chapter ^-^; ).
First off, that chapter title is my favorite out of them all. It's so... deliciously ironic. (at least, I think that's the right word). Furthermore, I also love how brutal and messy the society's demise was; it really did befit a clan who were themselves so brutal and twisted. Just out of curiosity, did you make the Ram, well, a ram for any particularly symbolic reason? With the ram being often associated with strong sexual desire, it is certainly a parallel to his behavior...
It is also amazing that you still managed to fit in comedy of all things into such an intense and momentous chapter without it feeling awkward.
Something that I can't help but think of is that rather apt description Sunset gave last chapter of her world having "suddenly become a complicated web made out of knots." The thing about tangles is that when one thing falls, everything else comes down with it. And that is exactly what happened here; like a row of set dominoes, all it took was Adagio deciding to go after the jewels, and that lead to Adagio's heightened aggression, her undergoing the vision through the jewels, Sunset nearly being killed, and finally the kids all being taken away. And the vibrations of these events will be felt further along the web- Rarity's father, the school principals, Sunset's legal status, and indirectly with Sunset's friends and even Chrysalis.
I am intrigued to see how this next chapter plays out. With Sunset essentially bedridden and being watched, she can't do much proactively. Even if she tried (all it takes is a little bit of drugs to snuff out her reasoning and a sudden emotional spike to get her to try something brash), she would be stopped by her own body failing, if not by others first. Sunset's proaction and reaction has driven a lot of the events of this story, so with her being unable to do anything direct, this is going to be interesting. Of course, anything can happen! :D
And to think- this all started with some pastries.
wow
6002506
A shotgun isn't too damaging depending on the ammo. Most bird shot would actually be kind of ideal for home protection as, unless point-blank, it is more often merely painful instead of fatal. This old guy took one to the face courtesy of Dick Cheney, and he survived:
skywriter2012.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/whittington.jpg
Buck shot or a slug on the other hand would be pretty lethal. But yeah, bird shot would make a good deterrent for criminals if you don't want to risk killing them. I know I'd be more apt to surrender or run if I got shot with it.
As for the back and forth about the quality of this chapter... I have to agree that it was far from the best, but I think that was more because you tried to put too much important stuff in less than 8000 words. Still a good chapter, but not as good as some of the others; maybe try and spread major events out next time instead of cramming them together.
6004677 Wasn't the the story where Cheney tried to say he thought the bloke was a quail?
Maybe it was a bit rushed, but is was sort of intentional. It was meant to convey a heady sense of speed to Sunset's pre-planned hopes crashing down around her. I didn't think spacing out an internal catastrophe was likely to make the pacing very attention-grabbing or believable.
6004699
Pretty much; it was more along the lines of the guy rustling some bushes, and Cheney claiming he thought it was quell scattering as he spun around and let loose... It wasn't quell. The guy got off lucky though, he was grazed, some people aren't as lucky:
crookedbough.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/birdshotbahrain.jpg
Yep, still very unlikely to kill someone, but most people will be to busy groaning on the ground to continue committing a crime. I can only imagine if Sunset got hit with this instead. She'd be spending a painful night at the hospital with a pair of tweezers and a couple of bottles of disinfectant, but the story would probably have played out very differently.
Awesome chapter, good to finally learn what happened to that creepy society and Adagio. I'm kind of surprised Magnum is still in jail though, Sunset was breaking and entering his house, he heard a little girl scream and when he came upstairs it looked like some adult was stabbing a little girl in the hands with gem shards. I'm assuming Canterlot City is not in a stand-your-ground state, but even so that's acting in defense of a child. Eh, it'll all be dismissed anyway when all the witnesses scarper off to Equestria.
6004932 Oh, Magnum will be fine. He's just being held in jail by red tape at the moment. As you say, he'll be out at least by the time all this is over.
6002506
Yeah, a shotgun at point blank would be nigh unsurvivable. The damage described is really borderline as is. Still, I imagine Sunset got to the hospital right quick.
I'm gunna guess Rarity's dad will be footing the bill for this. While in fairness, she was technically breaking in, shooting without even checking your target strikes me as pretty reckless.
I...lost track of how many times my heart sank into my stomach with this chapter, holy shit.
(Also, Pen Stroke? Referencing a certain writer here? ;P)
6009571 Oh snap, he's the guy who wrote Past Sins. I usually don't make happy accidents like that, but that was entirely unintentional.
6009810
What an awesome coincidence then. XD
Someone pick up the phone, because I called it!
Danny I.....got to say..... After all the whole social services thing I'm ....feeling kinda empty
I take it this story's almost done?
6020871 Well, yeah it is. Empty, like, disappointed? Sad? Bored?
6021602 empty like the reality of their situation suddenly hits you and your like oh...shit and if your in a similar situation it's like you feel drained at a loss for words and at a loss to what to say or do when it all seems to point to a hopeless outcome I mean getting shot then lose your kids THEN find out your going to end up in a jail cell for perhaps 5 to 10 years for something you know for a fact wasn't your falt but the judicial system feels otherwise that like life pretty much gave you the middle finger I mean geeze that's hardcore how would one get out of that situation and come out clean the other side?
6021643 Magic, my dear Bestin. The magic of friendship
I knew that all this talk of Rarity's dad owning a rifle would lead up to something, but I wasn't prepared for this. Maybe dealing with Chrysalis was a bad idea, and Celestia should have never tried to help Sunset. This could have been prevented.
I hope that Sunset can find a solution to this. Being locked up in a foreign world must be terrifying. It's kind of odd thinking about that, though. Sunset is technically an alien, but she's taken the form of a human
for plot convenience and to make toys and lots of money. Thanks, Hasbro. So you have to consider her perspective in the matter. And this isn't even taking into account that Sonata, Aria, and Adagio were taken from her.Today wasn't a good day.
yeah the moment they snuck into Rarity's house... I knew Sunset was getting shot. lol at Rarity's face mask
sigh, and the moment I saw she was in the hospital I knew the law was going to catch up.
both of those things, that's some damn good set up. I envy your
probably honed and well-deservedskill in plotting and foreshadowing in plain sight. but I'm still sadthose memories though... that's intense. I'm a little in shock. wow.
well all I can say is that equals some serious shitcicles right there, first your place gets trashed by a six year old, then said six year old runs off, then you experience some nasty memories, and lastly get shot wake up to Indians and slime monsters and then finally to put the maraschino Cherry on top of this lovely little shitty sundae you find out your kids your ownDAMN KIDS are getting taken away and you are going to go to jail the moment you step out of the hospital.
Over all shitcicles don't even begin to cover it all nor does shitcakes this is like the mother of ice cream shitcakes!!!!!!
All that said and out of the way.
Good chapter.