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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Same
You might want to find an editor or proofreader or something like that. I noticed a lot of typos, misspellings and etc.
Well this is as bad as I taught. Is the guy being crazy person who talks to himself somehow plot relevant, or this is textbook example of telling not showing?
Well,,well well, you have a story. Now let's see how it goes. The shadows are watching.
After reading this introductory chapter, I have only one thing to say...
AWESOME!!!
Actually, I lied, that's not the only thing I have to say.
That was a very interesting way to kickstart this story, I tell you hwhut. (I wish they had a Hank Hill emoticon for this...) To add onto this, I've seen people get sent to Equestria via a variety of means:
Struck by lightning
Fall down to their doom
Shot in the head
Hit by a well-timed meteor
Displaced by that creepy Merchant dude at a Con
As well as a whole bunch of other unorthodox bullshit ways that they got there. This one is by far the most original means that I have seen yet. Good on you, my friend! I give you golf clap for it as well as give you five of these.
I'm sorry but I feel like everyone in that world is eeeeeh ... loco. I mean i get that it was neccesary for story progression but who acts like that?
"Where in the fuck did that tunnel take me?" i think somewhere between the c and k...
6809374 might seem little late to say this but some people do actually do this to children
Well, that was an interesting start.
Magical tunnel... It'd be hilarious if the train got transported after him. "Oh shiiiiiiiiiit!"
Hmmm rosario+vampire is what I first thought of when the magic tunnel came
Este tipo de personaje de moral ambigua son interesantes
Your always sorry, just stop!