Third
Welcome to the first joint Q&A for Jumper and Memoirs of a Reality Jumper (Memoirs for short)!
(Matt) Walks into the room in full armor. The battered dark blue paint scratched and burned, the damage matching the hidden emotional scars he carries on the inside. He sits down and with a hiss of compressed air removes his helmet. “I’m here like I promised, now can someone please explain to me how this works.”
(Alex) “Hey Matt! Glad you're here. You know what the multiverse is, right?” Matt nods slowly, suspiciously. “Well, there’s a universe out there, somewhere, where we are a story. So anyway, in the past I’ve had Q&A for the readers and usually they just question the folks from my main reality, the one thankfully short on Matts”
(Matt) “Hey!” He mumbled under his breath, “They’re all crazy old buggers...”
(Alex) “Heh, just busting your chops. Anyway, I thought it would be fun to include both of our motley crews of characters and interpretations into one giant, slightly crazy,” Matt scoffs, “Okay, totally crazy Q&A. So, are you in, kid?”
(Matt) “Yeah, sure. Who knows, maybe I’ll learn something useful. Besides it’s not like I have anything better to do, I’ve seen more of Fluttershy’s bathroom than I have the rest of Ponyville.
(Alex) Alex turns his head to a potted plant in the corner. “Hey. Hey! Lyra! How did you find this place! Don’t forget the court order. Wait, there’s two Lyras?!?!? And they’re working together!”
(Matt) “Wait, two Lyra’s? Oh boy... Wait, how do we tell them apart?”
(Alex) “How crazy is yours? Mine tried to impale me on her horn. Dash saved my butt. ”
(Matt) “Umm... She camped out in Fluttershy’s bushes long enough that she had to check where the sun was to figure out how long she was there... And I’ve caught her watching me sleep. I’ve seen worse.”
(Alex) “Okay. That’s a lot of crazy in two mares. Remind me to keep Dash at my side at all times. Maybe Applejack and Bea too.”
(Matt) “How about some focus. We do have questions to answer... and who the hell is Bea? Beatrix? Trixie!? Oh boy, the loudmouth.
(Alex) Hey now. You’re not relying on that stupid show, are you? Trust me, she’s a total sweetheart.
(Matt) Uh huh, how about we just get on with these questions, I bet the... Viewers? Readers? Anyways I bet people are getting bored with this excessively long intro.
(Alex) Too bad we’re out of time for now, and we don’t have any questions yet. So, the point of this is to ask you, our intrepid readers, to start asking questions, because we want to answer them!
(Matt) “What so I have to come back in a week or two? What a waste of time.”
(Alex) “Not at all! Through the magic of the internet we have all the questions from our readers ready to go. Also, all of our friends, and not so friendly friends, are joining us live from a pocket reality created by Princess Celestia herself. Thanks doll! Also, my Fluttershy and Bonbons said they really wanted to meet you.” Fluttershy and Bonbon alternate smiling and waving at you, and glaring at each other. Both Lyras stop trading information, turn to face you as one, and share a really creepy smile. Like evil twins.
(Matt) “Uhh... This is going to get interesting.” Matt swallows hard and reaches for a glass of water, only to think twice when he realizes that it’s closer to the Lyra’s than it had been moments before.
Bea calls out quietly form behind him, “Matt, sweetie, don’t touch that glass. Lyras look! One of Alex’s spare hands.” The doors at the back glow in a silvery blue and open, and the old gloves fly through the door at high velocity. The two green unicorns follow it with impressive speed and the doors slam behind them. Once the Lyras are gone, Matt’s glass glows and two little tablets lift out, reconstituted. “The water’s fine now.”
Matt replies while examining the glass, “Drugs? If I’d known that they’d wanted to roofie me I’d have just chugged it. Medical Nanotech can fight off cyanide poisoning... Then again, if they didn’t deal with it, well let’s just say one Lyra is harmless, two is terrifying. Thanks”
“That, by the way,” Alex bows with a smirk to the unicorn who just saved Matt, “is my very special friend, Miss Beatrix, know to all the world as,” a fanfare plays, “The Great And Powerful Trixie!”
Matt gives Trixie a slack salute, “Pleasure is all mine. Matthew Brennan, IC-79 ICCD callsign Sever. But feel free to call me Matt.”
“Well Matthew Brennan, IC-79 ICCD callsign Sever, any friend of Alex is a friend of mine. I think two Lyras together makes them more aggressive. Well, I’ll make sure they’ve exited stage left. Don’t you boys get into any trouble while I’m gone.” Bea gets a soft smile, “Dash will kill me if you do.” She walks to the back doors, and Matt and Alex both find themselves fascinated by her as she leaves. Even Dash pauses a moment before hiting Alex in the shoulder. They all silently agree that Rarity could learn a thing or two about making an exit from her.
Matt muses, “Maybe I should have just stuck with Matt.”
Alex shakes his head, “Um, right. Q&A. So there you go! Matt? You ready to go?
Matt answeres cheerfully, “Ready as I’ll ever be.”
Alex claps his hands together. “So, the format is simple; first the name of the asker, then the question, and finally the answer. Easy peasy.
Firstly:
You’re reading the third Q&A for Memoirs of a Reality Jumper and the very first one for Jumper. And this is a bunch of questions from a bunch of awesome fans and interested readers, all answered by the plucky characters of these two stories stories.
Secondly, I have two questions
A question for Twilight: I've heard poking a Unicorn's horn brings good luck, is this true?
Twilights looks up from the small book she was reading, a sultry smile gracing her lips, the slightest of blushes on her cheeks. “I’m not sure about luck, but you should only do it when the unicorn horn is not flush with magical energy. It becomes very sensitive and it can be painful if simply poked and not gently caressed...”
Dash smirks and pokes her friend in the withers, “Hey, don’t read that stuff with kids around.”
A question for Alex: When will you stop being so self deprecating?! (this is more of a statement than a question)
Alex looks at you, annoyed, “Do you know how hard it is for me to be having this conversation? I’m scared. Right now. I am terrified of whatever it is you say, even though I know it doesn’t matter one whit. Fear has been my overriding emotion for a lifetime, and now that I’m in a place when I can not only have good, honest friends, I can have a family, and,” he looks at Dash a surprising fierceness, “a lover.”
He turns his gaze back on you, and you can’t help be feel uncomfortable. “Yes, I probably apologize way too much, and I’m likely more self deprecating that I need to be, but,” he stands, a look of determination in his eye you find humbling, “here,” he stomps his foot, “I can learn to live again. Here, “ he stomps again, “I can rebuild my life. And if I apologize too much, well too bad. I apologize when I feel I’m in the wrong and when I know an other needs to hear it. I am not perfection, I will always make mistakes, I will always apologize, and I will never apologize for that.”
There is a moment of silence. Then one hoof starts to stomp. You see it’s Big Macintosh, beaming in pride at his adopted brother. Dash and Scoots join him, then all of the Apple family, and all of his friends, and soon everyone, even Golden Coins and Miss Butterscotch add their support, even the Princesses are with him. You even, to your surprise, find yourself donning a dinner jacket and offer him a slow, respectful clapping.
Who's Matt?
Matt raises his hand. “I’m Matt, I’m a jumper just like Alex. I’ve only been at this for about two years, so it’s still kind of odd for me. I’ve hit four realities... Well five now. Umm... I feel like I’m filling out a dating profile here.” The sound of a multitude of hoofs and one hand hitting their respective foreheads filled the room.
“What? You try explaining your existence without it sounding like one. Anyways! Most of the realities I’ve visited have been high tech. Not just compared to ponies but compared to my home reality.”
Firstly for Alex
What is it about Dash that drew you to her?
Alex puts a hand on Dash’s cheek, they look at each other lovingly, and Scootaloo rolls her eyes and make a gagging expression. “I guess it was her, strength? Yeah. Her loyalty? Sure. Her grace? Definitely. Her warmth. That’s the winner. You never saw that on the show, her warmth. Well, you saw a little bit of it during the first episode when she first meets Twilight. How she makes you feel like you’re her best friend, five minutes after you meet her. Like you’ve been best pals for years and you had just meet up last night over beers and when you first meet her it’s just the next day.”
Second for Rainbowdash
What is your favorite color? and no answering rainbow.
Dash plants a little kiss on Alex’s palm then turns to you. “Seriously? That’s the best question you can come up with? Okay, fine. Favorite colour, huh? Hmmm... blue,” she smirks and runs a hoof along her barrel, “sky blue.”
1. Alex, you are Canadian which makes me ask of what your opinion of Colin Mocherie is.
Alex holds a finger up, frantically tapping on the laptop. “Sorry about that. I only vaguely remembered him so I had to hit the web. Then I remembered him. Funny guy, especially on Whose Line Is It Anyway.”
2. There is another story called A Place Called Home that's set in another alternate universe of this universe and the main character's name is Jack, will he be in these q&a's soon?
Alex types something on his laptop, waits a moment, then looks up at you. “Yes, Techogre is sending an email to that author to see if they’re interesting in joining this or the next Q&A.”
Troll Twilight and Dash Question: Which would be more delicious, Unicorn steak or Pegasus hot wings?
Twilight looks at you with narrowed eyes and a very unhappy look. Your screen glows purple and you find it hurtled at your face. When you wake up you find a scroll with the message, “Dash says hot wings, because hers are the hottest.”
As you start picking up the pieces of broken display, you get smacked in the back of the head by another scroll, wrapped in a cinder block. When you get out of the hospitle you read the note. “Alex explained to Dash what hot wings were.”
This first set is for Alex.
1) You've primarily gone through fantasy and magic-based worlds, correct? If so, was there another one you enjoyed being in for your duration?
Alex gives Dash a little squeeze, “Naturally, this has been the best world so far, but the second best was the Marvel Universe. That was my third jump, after Nazi world and Zeplin world. I was lucky that I was able to find the Baxter Building as easily as I did and even luckier Ben Grimm didn’t throw me out like I was some nut case. Heh. I think it was all the facts about the FF I was able to spout. Lucky for me, I was a huge fan of the comic. Couldn’t tell you much about them nowadays.”
2) Have you ever happened across a world called 'Tchokisa' ? It's very memorable, as it's a world that sees a ton of inter-dimensional through-traffic. Something of an inter-dimensional tourist trap, really.
“Tchokisa?” Alex seems to ponder for a moment, repeating the word slowly to himself, savoring it. “It rings a bell, now where did I...” Alex’s expression turns angry. “Zathrok. That’s where he said he would send me. A place with portals to every world. That son of a bitch was telling the truth.” Alex stares into space for a moment while Dash looks at him worriedly. Alex suddenly smiles, looking into Dash’s eyes, “But, if he hadn't welched on the deal, I never would have met you. I should thank him.”
3) When you transition, you bring a portion of the world with you. Do you swap places with the locale you were in, and if so, do you think you've accidentally stranded someone in another world as a result?
Alex looks bashful, “Well, never a whole person. And, in my defense, they were usually trying to kill me at the time.”
4) Pertaining to the previous question, do you think that, maybe, something like that could've been what destabilized you from your native reality?
Alex ponders thoughtfully for a few moments, “No clue. You need a brilliant scientist, like my pal Twilight. Miss Twilight?”
Twilight had been relaxing on a pillow, sipping some kind of juice from a goblet. She looks up at you with a polite smile and sits up primly. “Based on the amount of chaos magic Alex has in his system, and the logarithmic growth of that contamination, it is entirely possible that there is a structured chaostroic tunneling effect from this reality back to his home reality. Basically, a tunnel from here to there going backwards in time through different realities. That book of transdimensional mathematics Alex gave me is really helpful in helping me understand the possibilities.”
5) What, if anything, would you want if you were offered a single wish with the Aladin stipulations on it? Those stipulations being no inducing love, no returns from the death, and no causing death.
“Not sure. Maybe...” Alex purses his lips and looks up to the ceiling, then turns back to you with a smile and a shrug, “that everyone is happy, in the end.”
6) If you found your time estimate to be off, and you returned to earth tomorrow, mere minutes after you left, what would be your reaction?
“I would feel a profound despair at having lost Dash and Scoots, tempered with a profound joy at being reunited with my human family. I... I hope that never happens.” He looks off into space for a moment, “I don’t think I could ever go back.
7) Have you given consideration to the Equestrian legal code's structure on the collection of goods, services, and currency? It clearly states that using false information to obtain any of those things is punishable by serious fines and a return of 2.46 times the original value to the wronged party. Just saying.
“I looked into it, but the problem is I signed my fortune away while I was under advantage. It’s a very old Equestrian law that says when two individuals enter a contract, the one with fewer riches can demand the other seal the contact with red ink, making the contract unbreakable. The intent of the law was to protect the poor from the rich. The richer party is assumed to have better counsel. Since I was the richer party at the time of the signing, Mr. Golden Coins made this demand, and since I was more interested in saving the farm, I signed. Anyway, it was all found money, and he did leave me with more than enough.”
8) The energies of the Interstitial have imbued in you a level of Immortality, resetting you to the state you were in when you first jumped each time you jump. What will you do when you do have to leave RD, either from jumping away or from simple age?
Alex smiles sadly at Dash, “The way I see it, I won’t be jumping away from this world. I mean, I’m 42, and the jump date is a little over 60 years away. No one in my family made it past 90. Not only that but the life of adventure has taken a toll on my body, plus all the magic exposure and who knows what pathogens I’ve been exposed to. Well, you can see my point.”
Alex absentmindedly caresses Dash’s mane, “Dash and I have talked about it, and we want to spend eternity together. We’ll get our bodies preserved when we die and be stored somewhere safe. In the meantime, we’ll get a custom coffin made in the shape of a heart and we’ll be placed in it, forever looking at each other, her hooves in my hands. Her wing over me” Alex looks away and wipes a tear. “And that’s just fine by me.”
This set is for Matt.
1) You've primarily gone through High-tech and technology oriented worlds, correct? If so, was there another one you enjoyed being in for your duration?
“Oh, sure. The second one I don’t think I had more than five hours sleep a night in whole ten months I spent there but I did get some nifty armor and training. The third, wasn’t too bad I learned a lot about science and research. The last one got rough, like really rough. The first month wasn’t too bad, but then I spent the rest of that three month stint being hunted. I... don’t really want to talk about it.”
2) Have you ever happened across a world called 'Tchokisa' ? It's very memorable, as it's a world that sees a ton of inter-dimensional through-traffic. Something of an inter-dimensional tourist trap, really.
“I’m not even sure how to say that, so no. Next question.”
3) When you transition, you bring a portion of the world with you. Do you swap places with the locale you were in, and if so, do you think you've accidentally stranded someone in another world as a result?
“I almost did once, actually I brought a bird from that third reality to the fourth. A parrot named Felix to be exact, I bet that someone was pissed after they realized what happened. I have no clue whatever happened to him, too bad he was a nice bird.”
4) Pertaining to the previous question, do you think that, maybe, something like that could have been what destabilized you from your native reality?
“I was on my motorcycle going about 90 km/h when I got hit by that oh so lovely sensation of being ripped from a reality. The last thing I remember before the jump was my head bouncing off the pavement, thank god for helmets, eh? I might have ridden through some kind field, that’s all I’ve been able to guess.”
5) As an inter-dimensional traveler with information and knowledge that can literally overwhelm the minds of the less-informed, have you ever taken advantage of your newly-acquired Elder God status?
“Elder god? Pfft, come on. When I took that plasma round to the leg it burned clear to the bone. If it weren’t for the medical nano-tech I would have bled out pretty quick, and even if I hadn’t there’s no way that I’d have ever been able to walk again if it weren’t for the nanos and the body suit.”
6) If you found your time estimate to be off, and you returned to earth tomorrow, mere minutes after you left, what would be your reaction?
“I don’t know, I’m just trying to survive. I don’t know what I’d do, hell I don’t know what I’d do if I got home right now. I’m not sure I could go back to being a bodyguard or worse a private investigator for insurance companies.”
7) While I understand you (completely rational) fear of Lyra, are there any other ponies that you have any particular feeling, negative or positive, towards?
“Honestly I thought I’d get along great with Rainbow Dash, loyalty is something I live by... But something just keeps setting us at eachothers throats. Lyra’s only scary because she’s... Lyra? I don’t know she’s just really focussed on her research, by which I mean me. It’s slightly unnerving but I think Lyra would do anything to keep me safe, right?” Matt looks over at the Lyra’s. The one from his reality blushing and looking shy while the other seems to be assessing her thoughts on this. She probably wouldn’t mind a human corpse for study.
8) The energies of the Interstitial have imbued in you a level of Immortality, resetting you to the state you where in when you first jumped each time you jump. What will you do when you do have to leave?
I’m not sure exactly how it works. I doubt anyone really is. If we reset to zero, or whatever you want to call it how come I still have my leg injury, why are my muscles more developed than they were when I left home, how do I have the memories of all these realities. I mean if I reset to my original time of departure I would lose all my memories too, memories are only electrochemical responses, right? It’s something that baffled the scientists in that third reality, I only have a theory but even that didn’t make sense to the scientists... Maybe it’s all about self image. Maybe we revert to our original age because that is how we see ourselves. The injuries? They’re a part of us, perhaps when we jump a fresh muscle sprain would go away but something traumatizing or something that leaves a mark on how we see ourselves? That stays... But that makes no sense and there’s no way to actually achieve that, so like I said, that’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.”
The Lyra from Matt’s reality only stared at Matt with a little grin. She then gave the other Lyra a friendly poke, “See, I told you Matt is better than Alex. I mean could Alex, that crazy nag Twilight, or Rainbow Trash have come up with that?”
Matt looks at the stunned looks around the room, “What? I had a lot of time to think. Seriously, people take one look at the armor and think I’m an idiotic brute. That’s like me calling Dash a lesbian just because of her mane.”
Dash glares daggers at Matt, “It was just a coincidence. Anyway, I like who I like, and this big guy showed me there are more important things to a relationship.”
“What? It’s me making an unfair comparison just based on looks, I’m not saying you are... Not that I really care which way your barn door swings.” Matt smiles at the turn of phrase.
This batch of questions is for RD, and I know you're less scholarly inclined than, say Twilight, so I'll avoid overly technical terms;
“Hey! Just because I’m not an egghead, doesn’t mean I’m not smart. But I appreciate you using words a normal pony would use.”
1) You obviously care deeply for Alex. Since it's a given that he's going to be gone, from jumping, eventually, what are your thoughts on his "expiration date" ?
“Like the big lug said in one of his answers, we’re pretty sure he won’t make it to his next jump. Lots of ponies think they’re reborn after they die and that you get reunited with your true love.” She looks at Alex with a heart wrenching fierceness, “I hope the same applies to humans, because I’ll be loyal to him until the end of time. And if it doesn’t, what we have now will be worth being alone forever.”
2) What do you think of Bea's steady, if cautious, encroachments on Alex?
“Bea? She’s a friend and I totally trust her. Anyway, she knows I would buck her to next Tuesday if she was trying to make time with my stal... man.”
3) If you could choose to go with Alex every time he jumped, for the rest of his life, would you?
There’s barely a pause, “Yes, in a heartbeat. I’d follow him anywhere. I mean, if you found someone who really cared about you, the real you, and not your past, wouldn’t you do anything to stay with them?”
4) If, in a moment, something happened to Alex that took him away forever, that is to say, if something killed him, and it wasn't something that could be struck back at, something of ordinary chance... What would you do?
Dash looks at you sadly, “I would be grateful to Celestia for the time I had with him. I would likely spend one night with some rye and salt, after Scoots went to bed. And then, I would do two things. First I would follow through with our plan so we could be together. Then, I would spend the rest of my life taking care of Scoots and making sure she’s happy. Then, at the end of my life, I would be with him forever. That would be pretty cool.”
This set of questions is for Beatrix, they aren't particularly long.
1) Do you intend to try challenging RD for Alex? You seem rather enamored of him.
Beatrix looks thoughtful, “I suppose I am somewhat taken by him. He did save me afterall. He gave me hope, hope that I had lost. With that hope, I regained my dignity, my sense of self worth. Do you know I couldn’t even look myself in the mirror before he came into my life? I could even go so far as to say I love him, but not in the way you mean.”
“So, would I challenge Rainbow for Alex? No. I could never get between those two. She’s a stalwart friend, and he, well, I could never betray him like that.” Her voice changes a little, becoming more playful and bombastic, “Trixie’s interests lie in the big and strong but silent types. The ones with poetry in their souls and apples on their flanks.” You can see Big Mac in the background blushing with just the smallest of smiles.
2) What will you do when Alex is gone? will his departure in 60ish years make much of an impact on you?
“When he leaves, however he leaves, I will mourn the loss of a good friend. But, I will thank Luna for making him a part of my life.”
A few questions for the Lyras, if you will.
1) I understand you seek to study humans. Have you not bothered to look into cross-dimensional teleportation and viewing?
Alex’s Lyra rolls her eyes, “Well duh. But have you seen the math involved? I mean, I’m good, but I doubt even Sparkle could do it. Anyway, there are only three copies of the only book with all the formulas, two owned by private collectors and one in the secure wing. Even Sparkle couldn’t get in there.”
Matt’s Lyra taps Alex’s Lyra and points at Twilight Sparkle. “What do you suppose she’s looking so smug for?”
2) Why do you find humans so fascinating?
“It’s not just humans, it’s everything about their culture. They lack magic, and as a unicorn I don’t think I could live without my magic. Physically nopony can live without magic, but you understand what I mean, right? I couldn’t survive without magic, ponies in general would fail as a society without it. But humans, humans not only managed to survive without magic but THRIVE. I think that hands are the secret, the earliest humans used them to make fire from nothing more than two sticks or a couple of rocks. They created tools to gather and hunt before using those tools to create! There’s so much we could learn from them about how to become better ponies. We can take the lessons we learn from humans and not only match their greatest successes but avoid their worst mistakes.”
3) If you had a human child to take care of, do you think you'd do well? and why do you think this?
“If I had Bons with me to help every step of the way I would. We’ve talked it over and we want to adopt someday, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if it was a human. But who else besides Alex or Matt would have even the slightest clue on how to care for them?”
4) Do you think you'd enjoy living in a human world? If so, what are your thoughts on Bacon? Roast Turkey? Veal? Sushi with fish or crab? Those are main staples in most human diets, and it's not healthy for humans to go without protein for extended periods of time.
Lyra goes slightly pale before appearing to steady herself. “Alex told me there are places to go where no meat is served, he called them vegetarian restaurants. I know I can’t avoid all of it but I’m sure I can handle enough of it to cope with it, especially considering everything that I will learn. I would be fine as long as I had Alex or Matthew to keep me safe.”
Alex and Matt glance at each other. Matt says, “You take her.”
Alex responds, “No, you take her.”
Matt’s witty reply, “Nuh, uh. You take her.”
Alex ends the argument, “I have wives and children to consider.”
Matt glared coldly at Alex, then chuckled warmly, “You bastard.”
Ahh, a chance to ask all those questions I've been saving up... With that out of the way, here we go!
For Twilight:
1) How goes the research into keeping Alex alive?
“It’s actually going very well well, thanks to an unexpected gift. Last night I received a strange package. A huge twelve volume set of very detailed notes, observations, and studies of humans, focused on Alex. I still don’t know where they got all that additional information. So, I have an idea, based on Alex’s suggestion of a purposely inefficient device. I also have an idea to protect him physically and maybe augment his physical strength, to put him closer, physically, to ponies. But, there are still so many details to work out. I’ll have to ask Shining for the name of a royal armourer, and...” Twilight starts muttering to herself and scribbling notes furiously.
2) You once mentioned Alex having a bit of chaos magic in him. Could this have anything to do with why Fluttershy and RD (and perhaps Applejack) were acting... Discorded, as it were... after the popping cat incident?
Twilight looks up from all three scrolls and quills scratching away madly, “What? Oh...” The quills stop and the scrolls pile themselves neatly beside her. “That is a very real possibility. The effects of chaos magic on pony psychology are well documented, and the behaviour of Rainbow, Applejack, and especially Rainbow Dash, fell well within the accepted chaos induced behavior parameters.”
3) Where does Rarity fall on the Unicorn Power Scale? If she and Applejack were to get into another pillow fight, would she be able to, say, hurl the pillows at relativistic speeds? And would said hurling in any way resemble what would happen if you were to do the same with a baseball?
“As you know there is an informal scale among unicorns from zero to five, with two being a strong average. I myself am a four on this scale, Beatrix a three, and my good friend Rarity being a two. Please remember that this is pure power, not the ability to control that power. An experienced two could easily out do an inexperienced four.
4) If you need a defense attorney at some point in the future, I can recommend one for you. You could say that he's the greatest human lawyer ever. Be warned, though: he has a penchant for epically pointing an index finger filled with righteous justice at people and shouting "OBJECTION!" at the top of his lungs...
“O...kay... If I need a lawyer I’ll be sure to keep your recommendation in mind.”
For Rainbow Dash:
1) What's with Soarin' and the pies, anyway?
Dash shrugs, “What can I say, they guy likes his pie.”
2) So... about this Ace Swift dude I mentioned last time... Has he ever tried to blackmail you into dropping out of a major pegasus race by threatening to leak embarrassing photographs to the tabloids?
Dash gives an anoyed snort, “Yeah well, after he met Alex, there won’t be any more problems.” She looks lovingly at Alex, “Isn’t that right big guy?”
Alex smirks, “Nope. I made sure he knew I would be very... displeased if anything that would hurt my angel happen to pop up. I also told him this applied to all my friends and family.”
For Fluttershy:
1) With all due respect, I find it hard to believe that Angel bunny is misunderstood - especially after witnessing him pimp-slap you and throw you out of your own house during the Iron Will incident!
“Oh, but he is. Angel is a darling, he just gets grouchy when he hasn’t eaten. I don’t know what a pimp-slap is but it doesn’t sound very nice. When he threw me out of the house that time... well, you have to understand that I hadn’t gone into town in over a week. He just wanted me to spend some time with other ponies. Getting him food was just his excuse to make me do it, he only ever has my best intentions at heart. Don’t tell the others but if it weren’t for him I would probably never see other ponies.”
2) Is there any creature that has proven to be resistant to "The Stare?"
“Oh, my, well, no, not really. But, I’ve never tried in on Matt. He’s such a dear, I can’t imagine him doing anything that would deserve it.”
For Lyra (either one or both!):
1) Is Golden Coins really sponsoring your "research" into humans?
“I have several clients paying me for my time and research, however at this time Golden Coins is the only one who isn’t paying me a premium to stay quiet about it.”
In the background, a richly dressed earth pony mutters, “I knew I forgot something. Ms Butterscotch, take a note...”
2) You don't need to waste time with Matt or Alex. I'd gladly be your guinea pig/case study/boy toy/etc.! I just have one condition on my modest proposal: promise me you won't have my excretions laminated for posterity!
The Lyra’s put their heads together and start discussing, the only words that make it out of the huddle are “pickle jar.”
“Deal! But I’m not giving up my Matthew.”
“Or Alex.”
Both Lyra’s grin like they’ve pulled off some dastardly deed.
Matt leans over to Alex and deadpans, “Run...”
For the Doctor:
1) Have you managed to find any ponies named "Alonzo" during your time in Equestria?
“Yes... No... Well... maybe. Yes. Definitely no.”
2) What would happen if Alex's timeline were to cross with Matt's timeline?
“Death! Destruction! Daleks! Doom! And pears for everyone... poor buggers.”
3) With all of these human reality jumpers ending up stuck in Equestria for 50+ years, I have to ask: Is Equestria located in some sort of quantum sargasso (where things can easily jump to, but can't really jump out of), or something?
“There is something odd about this place. When I landed here in my blue box, she told me the wall was one way, as it were. It will take about 60 years to recharge and then the only destination is Eart... I mean a place I’ve been to many times.” Time Turner sighs wistfully, “I miss my thumbs.”
DA: "Okay, everyone in line! No pushing! You'll all get your questions!"
Hulk: "HULK HAS QUESTION FOR KNIGHT SHADE!"
DA: "Ugh! WRONG SHOW!" (points a strange cane at the Hulk)
Hulk: (vanishes in a puff of logic)
Everypony looks at Alex for an explanation as to who the big green guy was. Alex scratches the back of his head nervously. "Lets just say he's a nicer guy when he isn't angry."
DA: "Okay first up, Sheogorath."
Princess Luna leans in to Princess Cadence: "Who let him into our realm?"
She answered with a shrug, "Ask DA. He's bringing these people."
Sheogorath: "Discord, my lad! How long has it been my dear, sadistic, prince of chaos? Or was it muffins? NO! Its chaos! While you are resting in your stony tomb, how about taking an astral stroll to the Shivering Isles? It gets boring trying to redesign my manically humble abode in Oblivion without a second opinion! I promise to be a duplicit host, with the finest cheese! You can even play with Wabbajack if you can help me remember who I gave the bloody thing to!"
“...”
Sheogorath: “Well if you're gonna be that way, then 'good day to you sir.' I said 'good day!' (teleports away)
DA: (hides Wabbajack behind his back) "Mr. Richards? You have two questions."
Reed Richards: "Hello Alex Roberts! Its good to see you are fairing well for a change! I have only been given a brief amount of time to ask you how that laptop has helped you?”
“Mr. Richards, you have no idea how much it helped. It helped me keep my sanity by keeping me in touch with my family, it helped me with learning skills to survive the various places I’ve been, and it once stopped an arrow from killing me. If I ever get the opportunity, I’ll repay your kindness, I will, somehow. And tell Ben hi from me.”
Richards: “Will do! My second question is for Ms. Twilight Sparkle. If magic is made of particles, are they elementary particles and would they equate to what we humans call radiation, given it seems deadly to humans."
Twilight tilts her head slightly, an expression of curiosity tempered with a friendly smile on her face. “That would be a fair approximation.”
DA: "Right," (Checks list) "Batman?"
Batman: "To Princess Luna. How does one decide when one has wasted their chances to be redeemed? When does punishment become necessary?"
Princess Luna looks at Batman for a moment, as if peering into his soul. She then looks at him with respect, but also a hint of pity. "You know as well as I; not all can be saved or changed as easily as others. But there is no such thing as someone who is beyond redemption. Though some may be so far gone, they would take centuries to change...like I was once. The right punishment can make a difference. But often punishments serve to avenge, not teach. They are a dangerous method to teach a creature. Though, mine taught me much as I observed my children from above. I hope this brings you clarity, Dark Knight."
DA: "Good question, Bru-er, Bats. Next!"
Deadpool: "DRAMATIC ENTRANCE!" (drops in through the roof, smashing a hole in it)
Shining Armor looks around in a slight panic, "How did he get passed the guards?"
Whooves calmly replies, "This is nothing. One time he body-slid into my Tardis."
DA: (facepalm)
Deadpool: "Pinkie Piiiiiiie!" (Lands in front of her) "My cupcake content is running low and I need my fix babe! Bro hoof!" (hold fist in front of her)
Pinkie squees in delight, “Wade!” She throws her forehooves around him, “Don’t worry, Auntie Pinkie is here now. I’ll help you take away those meany weenies and be a fun party person.” Deadpool backs away in a cold sweat. "Uh, heheh. Um...hey! That dude with the Fez is looking at me funny. Body-Slide-back-to-Loco-Chimichangas!" He teleports away.
DA: "Please let the next guy be someone less homicidal."
The Flash: "This question is for Rainbow Dash."
DA: "Always knew you were a brony."
Dash snickers.
The Flash: "Shut up! Anyways, I've broken the sound barrier at ground level once. It was one hell of a sensation. What’s it like for you breaking the whatever barrier for the Sonic Rainboom?"
“It’s amazing. I get a rush from my mane to my hooves. I would say it's as good as sex.” Alex cocks an eyebrow and flashes a bit of a smirk. “Okay, maybe not that good, but really close.”
DA: (whispers to Dash) "Seriously, he has a poster of you in his-" (PUNCH!) "...ow...next..."
Dash: (pats DA on the head). "Bring Superman next time, dude."
Johnny Bravo: (rushes in) "Here's Johnny!"
DA: "...wut?"
Johnny Bravo: "Hey there Equine-mamas! Any lucky lady wanting a gorgeous guy like me?" (looks in the mirror straightening his hair before flashing a smile to the crowd)
The two Lyras huddle, you can hear snippets like, “... really human?” and “... close enough …”. They then turn as one and grin at him.
DA: "Someone call Hasbro, I think they’re about to lose a character. Lets see...next...is me, me, me, and me again!" (clears throat) "Princess Celestia, you have identified yourself as a princess, but there are hints you once were a Goddess? Were you ever more strict in your management of your little ponies and have been letting your mortal kin take more responsibility over the centuries? What will you and your family do if they no longer need a princess?"
“Three words, ‘beach’ and ‘banana daiquiri’. Maybe do that with cute cabana-colts serving my every need. Maybe show my most faithful student how she can please-”
The double doors at the back of the room slam open dramatically, revealing Princess Celestia in all her radiant glory! All the humans in the room become various kinds of gibbering idiot.“Stop right there Molestia. You’ve gone too far this time. And will someone please take care of the humans?” As the two Lyras perk up and charge toward Matt and Alex, “NoNotYouLyra! EitherOneOfYou!” Dash holds Alex’s while he whimpers and Fluttershy stands protectively over Matt as he cowers in terror.
Molestia snears, “You’ve not seen the last of me! Bwahahahaha!”
Celestia graces us all with a divine smile, “Yes, we have. Dear Authors? Can you all promise you will never write that foul creature into your stories ever again?”
We all agree never to write that crazy nag into our stories ever again. Unless she’s a villain, and it would make for a cool story. And it would have to be a comedy one shot or series. So, that’s the best you can get from us, your majesty.
The royal alicorn sighs, “I suppose that’s the best we can hope for. Now, back to the original question, if my little ponies no longer need us to rule them, we will stay and protect them. Like any parent, we must let our foals leave the nest and fly on their own.”
"Second goes to the Great and Powerful Trixie. We have seen your stunts with illusion for your shows, but do you have other ideas for the theater? Like special effects for plays?"
Bea smirks, “The Great and Powerful Trixie is brimming with ideas for spectacles that will amaze and astound.” Her voice changes slightly, “And of course Beatrix,” she giggles a little at the Trixie-ism, “has many ideas regarding the less public parts of running the theatre.”
"Third goes to Zecora. Does Alex look similar to any sapient species from your homeland? Not bestial, mind you."
Zecora ponders your question and after a few uncharacteristic false starts, she simply answers, “Many creatures from here to there and everywhere in between. But creatures like him, I have never seen.”
"Final question is for Alex. Is that knife capable of making anything bigger or slightly more complex? Like a shield, suit of armor, lightsaber, etc...?"
“The short answer is yes, but only a specific list of pre designed tools and weapons. It can change it’s mass from about a hundred grams to about five kilos. The shapes include a knife, slashing and punching, knuckle duster, small spade, spoon, crowbar, hammers including claw, ball peen, and sledge, throwing knife with tether and sea urchin ender.”
Matt visibly shudders, “They call it an ender for a reason. Imagine a one meter wide hardened steel sea urchin suddenly growing inside you where the little throwing blade went in. It made a mess of that timber wolf. I still-”
Alex waves his hands frantically at Matt, “No spoilers!”
Matt, looking a little embarrassed, “Oh, right. Anyway, nasty weapon. Scared the crap outta me when he first used it. If I hadn’t seen it myself I would have thought he’d grenaded me.”
Alex, also looking a little embarrassed, “I said I was sorry.”
Matt smirks, “We’re cool.”
"Thank you everypony!”
Every pony choruses as one, “You’re welcome!”
A couple questions for Lyra:
1) Why do you follow Alex around?
The two Lyras argue for a moment until Matt’s Lyra cries out, “Yes! So, why follow Alex? Why wouldn’t we! He was the first real live human we ever saw. Before that, all we had were a few dusty Star Swirl manuscripts and some secret transcripts from-”
Alex throws a pillow at her, “Jeez people! What have I told you about spoilers.”
2) Are you going to cut off alex's hands the first chance you get?
Both Lyras look horrified. Alex’s Lyra protests, “I would never do that! I mean, not even that nut case,” she nods to Matt’s Lyra, “would never hurt Alex or Matt. I mean, I only did that thing at the train station to get a fresh blood sample. Getting dressed up as a nurse and stealing scrapings off the floor and sneaking into your hospital room when Rainbow T...” Dash glares daggers at Lyra like only Dash can, ”Rainbow, was in the washroom or talking to the doctor. I mean, I thought I could get a fresh enough sample from the popping cat claws, but there were too many ponies milling around for too long. I ended up stealing a bit from Sparkle. She’s always too obsessed with whatever she’s doing to notice what’s going on around her.”
In the corner, a miserable looking Bonbon shook her head slowly, sniffling back a sob.
3) Do you think Alex has a secret about how you can get hands?
Matt’s Lyra slams her hooves on the table “Ugh! Why does everypony and every human think I’m so stupid! Unless I’m mistaken humans are born with their hands, that would be like asking a unicorn what the secret behind their horn is or a pegasus how they got their wings! I want to learn how they work, yes but I’m not going to cut them off and mount them on my hooves. It doesn’t even work like that... does it?”
Matt pipes up, “See, this is why I’m not afraid of my safety around her. Yeah she can be kind of scary but she’s not stupid enough to do something crazy... Unlike an other highly intelligent unicorn I could name.”
Twilight Sparkle does not react in any way, happily reading her book.
4) What would you do with hands you crazy messed up mare?
“Are you kidding! Why wouldn’t you want hands? Look at what they can do, it’s like telekinesis but you can feel everything. I mean yes you can pick stuff up with your hooves, but you can’t manipulate them. Just imagine the music I could make with them or how much easier it would be for doctors to heal ponies, or even how much easier it would make farming. They wouldn’t have to worry about teeth marks on their produce. Everypony could pick things up off the ground without getting the taste of dirt in their mouths, no more worrying about drooling on parchment when you’re writing.
Hands are the future and I want to be the first pony to get them. I want to grab something, I want to feel everything and I WANT TO DO IT RIGHT BUCKING NOW!” Lyra panted hard, her excitement and passion in plain sight. The Alex’s Lyra moves slightly farther away from her alternate.
Matt calls over the table, “Hey Alex.”
“Yes?”
“Remember what you asked me about earlier? You know, how crazy my Lyra is? How’s that for an answer?”
Alex pinches the bridge of his nose, “I’d rather have been left wondering.”
5) Did you write the extra research on alex?
“Yes. It’s my finest academic work yet. It’s even better than anything Sparkle has ever published. But, I decided to give Twilight a copy because I suspected he was ill and as much as I hate to admit it, she’s darn smart. I knew she could so something to save Alex with it. New research is hard for her but she’s always excelled if she has an information base to draw data from.”
Dash looked at the Lyras, confused. “Wait, you mean, you’re the ones who gave Twilight all the extra information that helped her save Alex?” The Lyras slowly nod. Dash flutters forward and takes them both into a warm hug, “Thank you so much for helping to save him. I know we didn’t end things well, and I’m sorry for that. I realize none of us are going to remember this, but I hope a tiny part of me does remember, so I can thank you again.”
6) Do you follow him around?
“Naturally. An observer has to observe their subject. How else would we get information?”
7) Did you impale him with your horn to get a blood sample?
Alex’s Lyra’s expression is very slightly panicked, “Maybe...”
Matt’s Lyra grows annoyed, “Dash spotted me before I could trip Alex. We had a shouting match in the middle of the train station. Not fun. Anyway, I underestimated the resilience of human skin.”
8) What if i told you hands were overrated and I would do anything to be a pony?
Alex’s Lyra give you a confused stare, “I know that’s your opinion and you are well within your rights but I must disagree. If I, or any pony, could retain their magical ability and gain the incredible manual dexterity, there is nothing we couldn’t do. Of course, since hands are so much more delicate than hooves, with all those tiny bones and ligaments, we would have to walk on our hind legs all the time. That would be hard. I mean, I can do it for a few minutes, maybe walk a block, but my back kills me by the end of it.”
9) you do know that ponies would look weird with hands...right? ponies are meant to have hooves and not be bipedal they are meant to be four legged animals
Both Lyras roll their eyes at you in unison. “Well duh. We know that. But, we can dream, right?”
Spike
So Alex has been around for awhile now so what do you think of him.
Spike looks up from the buffet table, sucking in a big green gem. “Well, yeah. Alex is okay. I mean, as long as I wear these,” he pats the little filters in his nostrils, “I don’t want to set him on fire. But, really, we don’t hang out or anything. I hang out more with Scootaloo and the other Crusaders. I mean, they made me an official Crusader after that thing with Sapphire. That was so-”
A trio of fillies all put their hooves on his mouth while glaring at him. He shrugs sheepishly and continues.
“So, yeah. We don’t hang out or anything, but he’s Scoot’s dad now, so I guess he’s okay.”
Lyra
So if you like hands or other parts of the human body why not just ask Alex for a mold of said parts or is there no molding material in Equestria.
“Hands are too complex to simply make a copy of. Also there is the issue of manipulation. Yes unicorns could use magic to move the fingers but that would eliminate the entire purpose of having hands. Why does everypony need me to explain this to them.”
Firstly, questions for the Memoirs characters.
Rarity
What did you do with Tom the rock?
Rarity gets a very unladylike sneer, “It was agreed upon by all never to speak of it again. However, let us just say he was a real gem on the inside. You see, upon further investigation, I discovered Tom was infact a giant geode. The colours were a perfect match to what I had in mind for my new spring line. I suppose Discord would have found it amusing to put a collection of highly valuable gems inside a rock that he had convinced me was diamond.”
Spike and Pinkie
Why are you rarely in the story anymore?
“Well, I’m just a kid. Why would I hang out with an old geezer like Alex?”
Matt snickers, “I always did like Spike.”
Pinkie looks at you with the sweetest grin, “And I’m busy going on adventures with Whooves, “ she snorts and giggles, “I mean Time Turner. That’s a silly name, but that’s what he wants his secret identity to be.”
Alex
How's the progress on the theater coming along?
“Quite well, actually, everything considered. I have Perfect Home sending the initial designs soon. At the next council meeting I’ll use those to present my plans, including the regional transport pads. Assuming I have enough support, and I’m confident I do, I’ll start fundraising, get some bidding for the contract, and Bea and I will start looking for staff and acts.”
Lyra
Are you still obsessed with humans?
Alex’s Lyra smiles happily, “We’re not obsessed.”
Matt’s Lyra continues in a disturbingly perky tone, “We’re focussed.” The entire room just stares at the Lyra’s.
They reply in unison, “Umm... Yes?”
Big Macintosh
Do you still have smartypants?
The mighty stallion starts to sweat noticeably, his eyes shifting from side to side, “If you mean, do I have smartypants here? Then no.”
Twilight perks up, “Hey! I was looking for that since I came back from Canterlot.”
Applejack gave a slow smile, “Mac? I think they mean, do you still have that doll hidden in your closet.”
His eyes went huge, his cheeks redder than red. He started to stammer, and when all hope was lost, a silver haired, blue coated mare stepped beside him.
“So he likes dolls? Have you ever considered maybe he’s a sensitive soul? A poet? Just because he’s,” the mare starts getting a little heated, “a perfect physical example of Equestrian stallionhood doesn’t mean,” she nuzzles him and he seems even more confused, “he can’t have a mind. Please, Applejack, there’s more to your brother than just his looks and physical strength. He’s kind and sweet and sensitive.”
Applejack looks at Beatrix for a moment, snorts, and starts laughing. She then sees the looks they are giving her, the looks most of the ponies in the room are giving her, the looks Alex and Matt are giving her, and sad resigned expression Big Mac has. She stops cold. “Oh, hey, I was just foolin around. Ain’t nothing wrong with boys liking girl stuff. Sorry, Big Macintosh.”
Alex chuckled kindly and whispered to Matt, “Now that is what I’m talking about. That’s what makes them worth protecting.”
Now questions for the Jumper characters.
Matt
Do you plan on helping Alex out with the theater?
“I don’t know. I’ll probably end up doing something to help out once I get settled in. If he gets a decent enough piano I’ll probably help out just so I can get some time to play on it. I’m not sure I could get up the courage to play for an audience.”
Alex gets a goofy smile, runs over to Bea, who was still snuggling Mac, they have a hurried conversation, Bea kissed Mac full on the lips, then joins Alex.
Alex excitedly asks, “Did I hear you correctly? You play the piano?”
Matt answers cautiously, “Yeah... but, I’m not too keen on performing for crowds.”
Bea waves a hoof dismissively, “Sweetie, I can help you with that. Are you any good?”
Matt answers with a little pride, “Yes I am. Not the best in the world, but-”
Alex interrupts, “Actually, you are now the most skilled human pianist in Equestria. Congratulations, maistro.”
“I swear to god if you try and make me wear tails I will hold a seminar on how to fight bipeds and use you as a teaching aid. Bucks to the balls, no armor in equestria will let you retain the ability to reproduce.”
Alex smirks, “I’ve already got two kids and I’m adopting one more. If it gets you on stage, it’s worth it.”
Lyra
Why are you so obsessed with hands?
“Like we said earlier it’s not the hands as much as what’s possible with them.”
Fluttershy
How do you feel about Matt?
“He’s just a big softie once you get to know him. He’s kind to all my animal friends and he tries his best to be a good houseguest. I know he must have had a terrible time before he got here, but despite it all he tries not to let it change him. He does get kind of scary when he’s afraid or feels threatened, but I think that’s just in his nature.”
Alex
Do you trust Matt?
Alex glances at Matt and chuckles a little, much to Matt’s annoyance. “That’s a complicated answer. I want to trust him, and intellectually, I have no reason to not trust him. He’s a decent person and beyond a few misunderstandings, he’s never done anything to make me not trust him.”
“However, I just can’t get past the feeling he’s done so much violence so casually. I know it was because he didn’t know all the facts, and he was tricked and used like a pawn. I also know it’s unfair and I wish I could change the way I think. Heck, Dash likes him and every time she spends time with him she tells me all about it, all those miscommunications,” Alex starts to laugh, “and clop.” Matt rolls his eyes and shakes his head.
“So, short answer, I trust him, I like him, but I worry about him. It sucks, and it’s hard to change that, but I’m trying. In fact, as a... trust exercise, I was thinking of giving him his gun back. I mean, if my angel trusts him,” Alex shrugs and smiles wearily, “what choice do I have?”
Doctor:
Given that you are fairly familiar with both humans and ponies now, can you give the best case scenario if the two species would meet up? Not just single individuals like in Alex's case, but an earth to equestria contact.
“In the past, I’ve said humans and ponies should delay their meeting, but when it does happen, it will be glorious. I still believe that. But, if they meet up before they are both ready, I would say humans with their population outnumbering ponies by an astronomical margin, plus the humans knack for technology and lateral thinking, would put the ponies at a great disadvantage. However, I think most humans would go to the ends of the universe to protect these sweet, innocent, good creatures.”
Pear?
“Oh, for heavens sake. Why with the pear questions? I hate pears. Well, I suppose in this body they’re a little more... who am I kidding? Pears are rubbish.”
Applejack:
Looks like Alex is eating an apple this time...a very fuzzy looking apple. Wait a minute, that's no apple that's a peach! Stop HIM!
Applejack cocks an eyebrow at Alex. He mutters, “Oh, shit,” and quickly throws the peach away.
A.J. smiles calmly at you, “Now why in tarnation would I need to stop him? He can do that all by himself.”
Techogre:
With season 3 coming up, how much do you think it will change your story? New villains, new crazy scenarios, and new songs. Might be awkward with Trixie shows up and she's a badmare. Pretty sure Discord is coming back.
An ordinary looking guy in the back with glasses and short cropped hair shyly looks up from his laptop, “Oh, hey! I’ll do my best to incorporate new information, mostly in a ‘Of course we all knew that all along, Alex. We didn’t mention it before because... OH LOOK!! A MONKEY!!’ way.”
“I saw the season three opener and it was a four out of five. But, come on. That villain? Lame.” The aforementioned villain looks up from his dainty tea cup with black crystal motif. He frowns and hisses something that sounds like slaves, and walks out of the room in a huff.
Alex:
That is four ponies that have shown interests in you. They say you're not attractive, but clearly something else is going on.
Alex blushes and Dash starts speaking, “Well, I’ll tell you what attracted me to this big lug. He was brave, even when he didn’t have any reason to be, even when he knew if his bluff was called he was done for. He put others before himself.”
Applejack pushes her hat back, “I reckon it was his work ethic, his stubborn streak, his sense of family, and how he was one of the few fellas who liked me for me. But, I guess I appreciate him now for bringing Elusive into my life.
Rarity sighs, “When I first saw him I admit, now that he’s a dear friend, that he was some beastly creature Rainbow Dash was dragging behind her.” Alex and Dash can be seen in the background chuckling. “No, after I spoke to him I could see a noble stallion beneath the brutish exterior. He was kind, sensitive, brave; all the ideal qualities of a gallant knight. While I did, and still do, admire him, he was not my type as it were. I was smitten by him, but never romantically interested.” She takes a long, not so hidden glance at Spike. Their eyes lock, unspoken words shout out and only they can hear them.
Beatrix smiles shyly at Alex, “He gave me hope when I had none. He’s a good friend. He’s a good person, and I would do anything to protect him. As I said before, I... I love him, like a mother loves a child. Thanks to him, I have hope and a kind, humble stallion who loves me. I owe him everything and he asks for nothing. How great is that?” Her voice changes a little, “Even Trixie admires Alex. She calls him a friend.”
So not share this with the ponies. So how does that Rainbow taste? Hehe.
Alex plays the video, and as realization dawns on him and the gathered ponies, he quickly turns it off. The anger is palpable. His eyes throw unbridled hate at you, and you start to feel a little uncomfortable asking the question.
Without taking his eyes off you, “Matt? You ready for that thing we talked about?”
Matt stands and strides toward Alex, “With pleasure.” He draws his tonfa and gives it a spin, gripping the weapon in a grappling position.
Alex turns to Princess Luna and goes to a knee, “Would you be so kind, my Princess?”
You feel your eardrums bleed as Princess Luna speaks to you across the realities. “Foul villain! Thou has abused thy privilege of friendly question asking. Thou hast insulted one of the noble Elements of Harmony. This cannot be left unanswered. Noble Twilight Sparkle, hast thou found the location of this varlet?”
Incredibly, Twilight makes eye contact with you, through the realities, and her smile makes your blood run cold, “I’ve got him Luna. Anytime you’re ready.”
You get up from your seat in a panic, ready to run, when there is a blinding flash. Standing behind you are a middle aged man with a sneer and a knife, along with his armoured friend toying with a tonfa.
<CENSORED>
You soon realize the error of your ways. As Alex and Matt teleport away, you see a rolled up poster appear on your kitchen table. You open it and it’s a Rainbow Dash poster signed by the coolest mare in Equestria herself. “To: warpd, The answer to your question is chicken. Now stay the buck away from me, Rainbow Dash”
Lyra:
Look at your cutie mark. Remember who you are! Such fantasies about Alex are shortsighted and will only lead to disappointment.
“What don’t you people get? Hands could lead to a whole new way to play my instrument. But sometimes I do miss playing it as often as I used to.”
That said, in some other universe another Lyra actually hooked up with Alex. U mad?
“I’m not mad. In that reality Alex and I could be completely different. I might be disappointed that Alex and I aren’t together now, but who knows what the future holds. No offence Rainbow but you don’t exactly have the best track record for keeping your mates around.”
Dash glares at Lyra in the way only a woman scorned can, “It’s different this time, Hearts, cuz, you see, now, I have someone worth holding on to.”
Lyra snarls at Dash, “You filthy nag, I was better off without you. And for the record, you're the messiest lover I ever had. Your slobbery chops couldn’t hold back that thing you call a tongue”
Dash got off her pillow and Alex was trying to restrain her. She continued as if he didn’t exist, “You crazy OCD nut job. I hope Matt tells you to go to Tartarus. Just like Alex did.”
Lyra scoffed, throwing her head back dramatically, “HA! Send me away, looks like you don’t need to be told when to go and abandon someone.” Dash recoiled as if bitten. “Yeah, I know all about that. I know all about how wittle Dashie gets scared and runs away!”
Dash smiled a predatory smile and said sarcastically, “Oh! I’m sorry did I hit a nerve? I would offer you a pat on the back, but you would probably like someone with hands to do it. I doubt Matt would ever touch you because you freak him out so much!”Lyra lights her horn, Matt reacts instantly leaping out of his chair and wrapping his arms around Lyra, physically pulling her off her hooves and putting Dash out of Lyra’s line of sight. His one hand slips under her neck, and the other over her head. The arm contacts her lit horn and he hisses in pain.
Matt glares at Dash, “Enough! I will not stand for you two sniping and trading blows with each other. You're acting like a bunch of animals!” Matts face pales but he maintains his hold
Alex mutters to himself, “Fuck me, this is worse than Jerry Springer.”
Alex's Lyra just takes notes and comments, “Rainbow really was a sloppy kisser.”
To other Lyra:
Psst, the other Lyra plans on taking both humans for herself. Such deception must not be tolerated. Then you can get both for yourself.
“She has the reality with Alex and Matt, I don’t want to change realities and mess things up for her, she’s me right? Also I don’t like the look in her eye, I think she’d hurt me to keep them to herself.”
“Actually I think that question was for me. I’d stop anyone from taking my Alex and Matt away. If I’d fight Princess Celestia for them what makes you think I would hesitate to defend them against an alternate version of me.”
Twilight:
Have you tried hooking up with other Twilights via Alex's Laptop? That could help when comparing notes.
“Since the internet connection is limited to Alex’s universe, I’m afraid the only Twilights I have found are humans running blogs under my name. When I corrected them, they laughed at me. Humans can be so cruel.”
Bea:
Mare you got swag! No questions need to be asked.
Beatrix smiles politely, "Oh, thank you sweety.”
Discord:
So why ponies? Why not just go somewhere where you talents would be appreciated?
“...”
Dash smirks, “Guess Discord wasn't as rock hard as me, eh? Get it? Rock. Hard.” She laughs at a joke only she and Matt find funny, he reaches out and bumps his fist against her hoof.
Applejack, with a thoughtful, compassionate expression, tilts her hat back, “Now R.D. it’s not nice to gloat. I actually feel sorry for Discord, bein’ all trapped in that rock and all. I mean, he caused a whole heap of misery and suffering. But, heh, maybe Tom can give him some company?”
Rarity flashs an annoyed smile at her friend.
Rainbow Dash:
Recently we just had a guy free-fall and he broke the sound barrier. There was no rainbows though. By the way have you shown Alex you're famous sonic rainboom?
Dash starts to giggle, “That’s kind of a personal question, don’t you think?”
Alex smirks, “No, I haven’t had the opportunity to see that kind of sonic rainboom.”
Fluttershy:
Ever thought about encouraging Alex to get a pet? It might help with his personal issues if he has one. Maybe a cute fluffy bunny, or a wasp! Wasps and humans do well give him one of those right now...(hehe).
She shyly smiles, “Well, I do have the perfect pet for him, but I’m worried... well, I’ll have to discuss it with Rainbow first, especially if Scootaloo will be living there.”
Rarity:
Four mares have shown interests in Alex. What is up with that?
“He is simply a kind and decent person.” She smiles sadly, “A truly gallant knight. If only some stallions could learn from him.”
Pinkie:
Did you graduate from ACME University? It would explain a lot.
“I did spend a semester there, but it was too boring.”
With a Tardis on hoof, have you tried collecting all the Pinkie Pies (the nice ones) in existence to throw the greatest party eternity will ever know? Might be fun.
“Well, the problem is that Whooves’s box only goes back and forth in time, not different realities. Anyway, I have all my friends here, and my newest friend, Alex.” She gets a thoughtful little smile, “Alex made Dashie really, really happy. Happier than I’ve ever seen her.”
Pinkie’s hair flattens ever so slightly and a melancholy expression is on her face for a moment, “Before Alex, Dashie was so lonely. She always had a different colt friend or mare friend, but she was always sad. Sometimes, when we went out pranking, we would just sit somewhere quiet and talk. When she meet Alex, she was so excited, he was so different. Not just his shape, but the way he liked her for being her. And when she was with him at the hospital, I visited her, brought her cupcakes and coffee.”
Pinkie looks around conspiratorially, “It was the first time I saw her cry, like really, really cry. She was so worried. Even then, she said he was something special. And that surprised me, because whenever she talked about special friends, she always complained about them being... not so special.”
Celestia & Luna:
Lullaby for a Princess. A little song from us from across the proverbial pond.
Alex clicks on the link and the room goes quiet. The beautiful strains of the music wafted over everyone. Couples held each other tightly. Celestia’s eyes were closed and a tear stained her perfect cheek. Luna lovingly nuzzled her sister. When the song ended, the silence was only broken by the occasional sniffle.
Beatrix gave Mac a final nuzzle and spoke quietly, “Alex, it would seem our world has touched hearts in yours, and now your world has touched hearts in ours.”
“I personally prefer the elegance of a piano. I miss playing. It was always the best way for me to cope with... Things.” Matt closes his eyes and hums the melody, his fingers playing an invisible piano. His head moved to the melody, completely absorbed in his mental reproduction.
Dash gave Alex a kiss on the cheek, and with head held low, went to Lyra. “Look, I’m no good at this kind of thing, but, I’m sorry I flipped out at you. And I’m sorry I hurt you back then. I really hope you and Bonbon are happy.”
Lyra sniffed, “It’s okay. I... anyway, it’s cool. And, I am happy with Bons. I just hope she’s still happy with me.” Both Lyras look lovingly at Bons, who had been sitting meekly in the corner.
Bonbon, with a happy smile, “Oh Lyra, I’ll always be here for you... you crazy mare.” All three mares hug and hold each other, happy to be with loved ones.
Okay let's get this out of the way first: Rarity I need to hide in your boutique. See there was a fire that burned down an entire planet--don't worry nothing sapient or living was there, just a bunch of priceless art--and while I most certainly did not start the flame I was technically present and that gives the planet's owners enough reason to think that maybe I did cause it (I was actually trying to stop it, but I had no success). So if you see a black leather robe tailored for a human sulking around in your closets, that's me, and any mammoth zealous anthropoids come around asking, I am not here. I swear I'll make this up to you.
“Of course, darling. A lady always helps those in need.”
Ahem, so, er, Dashie! Kinda made a silly call there, last time, hope you don't hate me for it. Eeeeeeer is it possible that you have Quetzalcoatl blood? Or is that a stupid question?
“Yeah, that’s a stupid question. And what the hay is a Quetzalcoatl.”
Chrysalis, your invasion of Canterlot makes no tactical sense. If you feed purely on love, AND EVEN if that love has to be directed by another being, it would make much more sense to infiltrate orphanages and take over the foster care system to ensure maximum marriage capacity. Admit it, the only real reason you took the city over was because there was this certain pink alicorn that you thought you could turn into a food machine. That's all that makes sense to me.
From the dark corner of the room, the insectoid queen known as Chrysalis and feared by all snarls savagely at you, "How dare you lecture me, drone! I know more of my race and our needs than you, and I know our abilities! If we were successful, we would have guaranteed the preservation of our species for more than a century! Who is to say we will not succeed on a second attempt..."
Pinkie Pie.... wait, you're not the right Pinkie Pie, you're from MY fanfic! Get back into the proper universe! Sorry about that, sock puppet, you know how she can be...
An alternate Pinkie Pie sadly returns to her universe.
Pinkie Pie, sorry about the confusion. Anywho if you're being observed by us, how can you tell who is doing the observing? Wouldn't the multitude of input signals blur into static... actually, that explains a lot. TWILIGHT WRITE THAT DOWN.
Twilight doesn’t even look up from all five scrolls and quills scribbling furiously, “Way ahead of you.”
Hmmm, who else... OH YES AJ! I... wait, no, these are questions for the Pony POV AJ... no, no, no, that's not right, um.... okay, out on a limb here, what do you think of the Pony POV series?
Applejack tilts her head slightly, “What’s a ‘Pony POV’?” Matt leans over to her and whispers something in her ear. She gets a confused expression. “How in tarnation can that writer know what’s going through our heads?”
Matt shrugs, “Welcome to the world of fanfics.”
“Y’all can keep them.”
Let's see--Oh yes! Fluttershy! Nyancat. That is all. I really wish there was more but I just realized I picked up the wrong notebook and I'm totally making these questions up as I go. Oh wait actually here's a bizarre idea: If you were a mother, which of your friends would be the child?
“I don’t know if I could be a mother, foalsitting the Cutie Mark Crusaders showed me that. But I would welcome any creature into my home, even a foal of my own. But if I had a choice of fathers...” She blushes a bright red and hides behind her mane.
Lyra, are you aware Bonbon's a changeling and has always been a changeling?
"With how little attention she's been giving me lately if I were a changeling I would have starved." Bon-Bon muses sadly.
“Oh don’t be such a sour-bon. Didn’t we just spend three whole days only getting out of bed for food or to go to the little fillies room?” Bon-Bon turns redder than the streak in Rainbow Dash’s mane.
Vinyl Scratch! Is... not here, dang. Er. Um. You two, human and pegasus! Make sure she plays at your reception and ask her from me what her relationship with Rarity is! On second thought, that's not an order. I don't have the authority to give either of you orders and I'm sorry.
Dash laughs, “Aw ya! Vinyl and me go way back, don’t we Vi?”
“Awwwh yeah! We’ve known each other since, like, forever, well not when you were in Cloudsdale, but yeah, we’ve been friends forever, even when I accidentally launched half of Ponyville into the Everfree with my bass cannon, she still wanted to hang out with me after it had blown over. Flash and me, we have done all kinds of wild things...”Dash flashes her a desperate look that said, ‘Shut up! My stallion’s right there.’
“I guess I’d better not go into detail with all the funky stuff.” Vinyl’s cheeks glow a crimson red, her glasses covering her eyes darting around the room. Nevertheless, she kept that flashy trademark smirk.
Actually, Twilight, have you considered teaching Alex external magic? My comprehension of the subject is not limited, though obviously not to your standards; runes and wands and suchlike seem to be more used for channeling then direct casting.
“I did pursue this as a possible way of extracting magical contamination, but he simply does not have the ability to direct normal magic. However, passive devices, like his knife, will work well with him. I’ll add ‘wand’ and ‘runes’ to the list of possible devices.” She flashes you a sincere grin, “Thank you so much.”
Spike! Given that a pony and another creature are together romantically, what would you say if I told you that I am aware of... actually, before I ask you that, how old are you? And do you switch sexes at low temperature?
“I’m nine, same age as Applebloom and Scootaloo and,” the young dragon makes a dreamy sigh, “Sweetie Belle.”
Rarity looks startled then a little sad.
“And no, Mr Creepy, I’m all male, all the time. That only applies to lizards, not dragons.” He gets a slightly worried look, “At least, I don’t think so...”
Okay, questions for the Alicorns, but before you answer: I know that the whole Aura Of Kindness thing is supposed to be reassuring but in my book it skirts dangerously close to brainwashing. And even though I don't technically have a brain--black leather robe and all that--I kinda like being me, so... yeah, could you not do that? Please? It's really scary, and not in the Nightmare Night sense. More the hunger of the hidden mind swimming in blood and agony sense. Please please please?
Ahem.
Soooooooooooo Cadance! Since I'm sure most humans are thinking it and I know that someone will ask after you got married to such a fine, well-toned, strong, big, handsome, powerful, chivalrous stallion like your Shining Armor.... how old are you anyway? ((Teehee I am evil))
She smiles kindly at you, “Actually, I’m a year younger than Shining.” She giggled girlishly, “What can I say, I like more mature stallions.”
Celestia, would you mind giving us the grim and dirty details.... OF YOUR LAUNDRY UPKEEP?!! Oh and how do you feel about the whole Pink Celestia and Trollestia things, be honest, people are watching.
“Laundry? Well, I suppose I wear the occasional piece of clothing, for comfort or...” she smiles mischievously, “special occasions. But, laundry is only a small part of the upkeep.”
“As for Pink Celestia and Trollestia, these are creatures of fantasy, with no basis in reality. Well, not this one.”
Luna... Abacus. Yes or no. Also, given that the Element Bearers are mortal, are you prepared on the off chance Discord breaks out after they die?
“The abacus is a noble tool of science, much under appreciated by my dear sister. I was always more interested, and skilled, in the hard sciences. The softer social sciences were the areas of expertise most carefully honed by my sister.”
“As for the future possibility of Discord’s escape, we are already preparing for the future. We have... contingencies.”
Discord! No seriously, Discord, you are not chaotic. I know a robot who's more chaotic then you are. Inferno Optic, Netcop of the Bong, Captain of the Retinal Chamoix la S.O.S. Look her up I dare you.
“...”
Bonbon raises a hoof, asking permission to speak, "Discord is probably much more attractive. His jaw is positively chiseled." The crowd roars in laughter.
Elements of Harmony! No, not you ponies. I'm talking to the gems. Elements, are you one entity in six or six entities in synthesis?
Hmmmm.
Princess Celestia smiles. "I can assure you these manifestations of harmony are not one entity. That would be a contradiction to harmony. Harmony is many things coexisting together. Thus, the crystals represent such in my little ponies."
Oh yeah! Mac! Here's a drink that's TOTALLY NOT LACED WITH POISON JOAK! ....no, you're right, it would be a sucky prank. Um. Jump in the blue flowers maybe?
“Nnnope.”
Bea flashs a frown at you, and you get the feeling you would be a very unhappy being if you crossed her or her loved ones.
Apple Bloom, Merida. Merida, Apple Bloom. Don't ask how I got a Pixar character here, suffice it to say I'm still paying for it.
“Why howdy. Y’all a human, just like Alex? But a girl?”
“...”
Sweetie bot! Belle. What are your thoughts on, oh, cybernetics?
String answer = “What are cybernetics? Are you implying I’m a soulless machine, unable to show bloodlust on the battlefield?”;
System.out.println(answer);
Granny Smith! I know this might be a bit of a personal question to be asking, and maybe out of context, but I do so want to hear of the patriarch of the Apple clan, hmm?
The old mare gets a sad smile and a faraway look. “Grandpa Smith was a proud stallion. Handsome, strong, hard working, the perfect farmer. I do miss him, but I know we will be together again, under the apple tree on the hill, and we’ll have ourselves a dance, like on our wedding day.”
Cupcake! Carrot Cake! Pumpkin Cake! Pound Cake! How do YOU FOUR feel about the strange biped wandering Ponyville?
The plump and pink haired mother looks up from her foals, “Oh my, yes. The babies love seeing Alex almost as much as they love Pinkie Pie. He seems so happy when he sees them, but so sad too. As a parent, I understand how he feels about missing his, heuoo... human, that’s it, human foals.”
“That’s right Cupcake. I remember a few times that poor guy come in some mornings for coffee and he spends so much time with the kids, the coffee he bought was cold by the time he left. Gave him a free refill, of course. I think he really just came to play with the kids for a few minutes, but I always appreciate the business.”
Also, to miss Beatrix AKA The Grrreat and Powerrful Trrrrrrixie AKA Sethisto's fave, are you aware that there are a number of ponies in Ponyville that have taken to dying their fur blue? It's true, the internet has photographic evidence! You have stalkers who want to be you! You are truly the epitome of success.
Beatrix lets her inner Trixie burst forth, “Well of course there are many who admire and idolize Trixie. It is natural for ordinary ponies to dream of one day joining the amazing heights only Trixie has achieved.” Bea laughs, leaning into Big Mac. Her friends join her in laughing at her Trixie persona.
Flim and Flam, I hate to say this, but Lotus and Aloe found the transcripts of the last Q&A. They came to talk to me first though. And I will not tell you what they said to me. Nor will I tell you that they are behind you at this very moment.
The twins look ahead, carefully not looking behind them.
The sensual voice of Aloe confuses the twin unicorns. “Monsieur Flim et Flam. We were quite flattered by your comments. Please, let us show you how much we appreciate them.”
The two brothers look at each other and smirk. They turn back, only to find themselves bucked, quite hard, by the two small earth ponies.
Lotus continues in that same sensual voice, “That, salaud, is how much we appreciate your unkind words.”
Cheerilee! Um. Wait, were you even in this fic... actually, who cares. YOU ARE NOW RAINBOW DASH'S BRIDLEMAID or whatever. Yes I know that technically that's her choice and not mine, but seriously I think you should be given that you teach the Scoots and the Scoots is obviously going to be... what's the pony equivalent of ringbearer?
“Oh my, Rainbow and are friends, but I’m sure she has closer friends she wants as her bridlemaid. But if she did choose me, I would very pleased.”
“And that reminds me, Scootaloo. You may want to bring one of your parents in to the next Family Appreciation day. I think the whole class would be interested in hearing from your mom or dad.”
Beside an excited and happy Scootaloo, a sad Applebloom leans against her sister for emotional support.
Speaking of the Scoots, the Weaver is wanting to know if the Scoots has perhaps considered taking up extreme rollerblading. A pegasus compatriot of the Weaver gave it up when she got married, but she did tell me it was an awesome thrill ride.
Scootaloo buzzes excitedly, “That sounds cool! I would never trade my trusty scooter, but I sure want to give that a try!”
While Dash looks on to her daughter with a proud smirk, Alex has the look of terror any human father would have upon hearing their nine year old daughter was taking up an extreme sport.
Let's see, checklist, checklist, checklist... Wait, Gilda. Hmm. Gilda... are... you doing okay? Cause after that thing with the security guards I'm seriously worried.
“Hey, I’m glad you asked me a question, now I can talk to Dash. I know we won’t remember any of this, and it won’t affect those stupid stories, but I’m hoping, maybe, a part of you does.” Gilda proceeds to ignore you and turns her full attention to Dash. She looks pensive, “Hey Rainbow. I’m glad I had a chance to do this, as hard as it is. I’ve... I’ve really missed you. You’re smart ass comments, your cool tricks,” Gilda closes her eyes and loses herself in memory for a moment, “how you smell after a workout...” She shakes her head, “Look, all I’m saying is that I’ve had a lot of time to think and I know what I did wrong. If things between you and the monkey-”
Dash’s voice was pure ice, “His name is Alex. We’re getting married, we’re adopting a filly called Scootaloo, and we will always, always be together. Get that through your thick feathery skull. It’s over between us. It was fun, I would never trade the good times we had, and I would still love to have you as a friend, but I just can’t imagine us being special friends.”
Alex places a hand on Dash’s neck and smiles kindly at Gilda, “Gilda, you are always welcome in our home, no matter what. I know Dash is special to-”
Gilda snarls, “Shut it. I don’t want to hear some shaved monkey blabbing on.” She turns a hard, predators gaze at Dash, “Okay Rainbow. If that’s the way you want it, fine. I know your pet may be fun now, but when he can’t join you in the sky, and give you some nip and scratch in the clouds like you loved, you’ll be back.” Her expression softened, becoming almost sad, “And I’ll be waiting for you Rainbow. Any place, any time.”
DIAMOND TIARA! YOU.... wait, no, wrong Diamond again. I have got to stop reading so many fics!
“But... but... daddy! You said I would have a question to answer. I mean, that loser blank-flank Scootaloo did.”
Mr Rich sighs, “Diamond Tiara, you know what I’ve told you about being a bully.”
Diamond Tiara clicks her tongue and rolls her eyes, “Yes, daddy.”
I will try to explain jumping, worlds and other stuff based on my own weird theory.
First let me explain how worlds work. Imagine a bucket full of tennis balls. Now imagine a endless space filled with three-dimensional balls. Each of them contains a world(or reality's how Alex calls them). A ball can also contain multiple dimensions if the creator imagines them. Any living thing that has imagination can create a world.
If the worlds touch massive changes can appear, like the collapse of time and space itself. To prevent them from touching the Void exists. It is like an oil. The Void is being generated by the thoughts of living beings.
Jumping. It is a genetical trait that is being inherited from ancestors. To have it an Angel has to be one of your ancestors.
Angels are a race that are living in the Void. They have built fortresses in the open Void. Thanks to their unique genetics they are able to consume pure energy itself, thus they don't need food, although they can consume usual food too. They can travel through worlds because of the talent to rezonate at the right frequency. Each world has its own frequency. Angels are born when a world is destroyed, and if the human has the right potentional.
It happens because if an Angel accidentally travels to his world, he would instantly age to his actual age. Angels are immortal because their cells are being held together by the Void energy.
Jumpers can resonate too. Alex has a unique mutation so he jumps randomly. A normal human would've died in Equestria much sooner because they wouldn't be able to store energy at all. Angels can use any type of magic they have encountered because they instantly absorb it(thus Alex can use magic too if he would have acces to a energy source). Oh, and Angels can mate with any type of species although tests would show that they can't. Their children would have the form of the species, but the abilities of an Angel (So, yes Alex can have children with RD ). And Alex passed out when he arrived in Equestria because the frequency was very different from the last worlds.
And Alex, do you have a relative that gone missing while his wife / girlfriend was pregnant? Does the stuff sound logical?
Alex blinks at you, “Have you been listening to Coast to Coast AM? No? Oh. Well, to answer all your questions, no, on all counts.”
Actually I have a question for our esteemed author: Are you planning on having your protagonist talk to Ann again? I mean after she talked to Fluttershy she kinda fell into obscurity.
The author looks up from his keyboard, “You bet! Ann is a very important character that makes up a large part of Alex’s character. She will be back soon. I”
@Twilight
If you want you to check out human magic that is not a terrible song... http://www.mytelekinesis.com/ All sorts of things Alex could try in there, such as aerokinesis and atmokinesis to help Dash with weather patrol...
She quickly jotted something down on a scroll, “Human magic theories are always funny. But, there’s the occasional gem in the dross. What did Alex tell me once? A broken clock is right twice a day? Heh.”
@Pinkie and Whooves
So...you two...together, huh? You sure the universe is ready? Cause I swear I can hear a lot of whimpering in the grand 'ol background noise.
Pinkie jumps out from the fourth wall and hugs Time Turner. He smiles lovingly at her.
@Twilight
A lot of fantasy and magitek worlds are known to have spells/devices capable of generating anti-magic fields. Does your Equestria have anything like this? Because it would seem to be a simple solution to Alex's health issue.
“Anti-magic fields are considered the most savage of military weapons, outlawed almost a thousand years ago, not long after Luna’s banishment. When a creature who uses magic is exposed to this field They push out any and all magic, including any magic needed to survive. They also cause the Star Swirl glands to burst, leading to a slow, painful death.”
Alex, with a grave expression, “Sounds like a nuclear weapon. A Neutron bomb to be specific.” He closes his eyes in sadness, “God, I never expected to see that kind of thing here.”
“It’s the magic equivalent to chemical or a short life biological weapon. Something only a hut’uun would use.” Matt spits out the unknown word.
Dash rubs Alex’s back, “Don’t worry about it, big guy. Nobody is crazy enough to cast one or build a device like that. Not even Discord would be that nuts.”
@Alex
So obviously you've hit a Marvel universe at least once. How bout DC? Or Star Wars? Bet a lightsaber would have come in handy a lot during some jumps... Still, your knife is awesome.
“Marvel was cool, and I miss the friends I made there. As for DC? You mean Superman, Batman, the Flash, and so on? Nope. Never been there. Same with Star Wars. The worlds I visited tended to be more fantasy than science fiction.” Alex turns to the armoured human in the room, “Matt? You end up in any of those places?”
“The last reality was the most... famous universe I’ve been in. Star Wars, around the end of the clone wars and like I said, I don’t really like talking about it. I kind of made friends with a Jedi, she died not too long before I jumped, she would have been eighteen in two months.”
Alex pats Matt on the shoulder, “I understand what that’s like, Matt. I really do. You know I’m here for you, if you need me.” Matt gives him a short nod and a half smile.
Alex straightens, “As far as a light saber goes? I would probably cut my own head off. I tried a magic sword once, the blade’s mass was reduced to something like three grams. Really hard to control, no point of reference. I guess if you trained with it, you would get used to it. Me?” Alex pats his knife, “I prefer my little friend here. Fast, has a good weight, versatile, and much more control. You can keep your swords.”
“Lightsabers are a brutal weapon. If you cut someone’s head off, the wound instantly cauterizes. You actually live long enough to see your headless body go limp and hit the ground. Hell, rumour is that you would stay alive for up to two or three minutes. I don’t like the balance on them either. All and all I’ll keep my tonfa, not the best weapon for quick kills but I can still immobilize, disable or incapacitate anyone.”
@Mac
Not trying to be insensitive here, big guy, but now that Dash is off the market, as it were, have you had any other prospects in mind? Heck, frankly surprised you don't have to keep the mares away with a stick. They say the strong silent type is one they really go for.
Big Mac smiles and looks down at the mare who is currently nuzzling him. The blue coated and silver maned looks up and answers your question, “Eeyup. He certainly has.”
One other one @Twi
I apologize on behalf of nerds everywhere for the existence of Rule 34, and extend offers of apology hugs. Still, don't let that turn you off to the net completely. Have you discovered Minecraft yet?
“Oh, that ‘rule 34’ stuff was very... shocking when I first encountered it, but now, while I still find it disgusting, I no longer find it disturbing. I understand that sexuality is different for everyone, and while I may not share the attraction, I can understand it.”
“While Alex and I were discussing various human games he did show me Minecraft. While I could use the controls with some concentration, it was never as easy for me as it was for Alex. Playing the game was a task, not a leisure activity. I’ve really enjoyed the concept of the role playing game and Alex has been kind enough to run a few games for us, mostly set in the Daring Doo universe. He used a system called FATE of Children, said it was a fairly simple game as such games go.”
chipmunkfanantic
I have a question for Rainbow and Alex when are you two going to get married and adopt scoots? she would make a really lovely daughter
Alex smirks, “I wondered, while I was falling out of that hotel room, if she would dump me like a bad penny.” Alex laughs, “It would have been the perfect time to do it. But, this was just a tiny part of my mind.” Dash flashes Alex an annoyed look and taps his belly with her hoof. “Anyway, we’re getting married in about four months, and once the burial of the popping cat is done, we’re going to see Miss Sweetheart to start the adoption process.”
The little orange filly looks up from playing with her friends with a huge grin. “Seriously? Really? Cool!” She charges to Alex and Dash, jumping and gliding between them. Alex and Dash tell Scootaloo how proud they are of her for gliding. The three just hold each other, happy to be a family.
Guest, cloaked in darkness and mystery, asks...
Applejack: What would you do if I told you that the author (points at one of the guys hiding in the back with laptops) put your diary up for all to read?
AJ turns slowly to the author, “You did what now?”
Big Mac: Do you still have Smarty Pants? ( Don't worry, I won't tell.)
Bea looks up at Mac encouragingly. The mighty stallion gulps, and then answers firmly, “Eeyup.”
Dash: If Gilda came up to you and Alex, what would you do?
Alex gives Dash a little smile and a nod, “I would be nice to her, as long as she was nice to Alex.”
Fluttershy: you are adorable! Do you have your eye on a special friend? If not, would you be interested in me?
p.s.,Don't be shy.
“Oh... well... I’m sorry, but I do have a special somepony in mind. I’ve been trying to get his attention, but I just can’t catch his eye.”
This is my question: if a cutie mark is private, then why are kids like the cutie mark crusaders so excited to get one? Do they know what it means?
Twilight answers, “It’s just a natural part of growing up, a sign they are closer to adulthood.
WingsofRetribution
To Alex: When you jumped realities have you been in the Dawn of War Warhammer 40,000K reality? If so what are your thoughts?
“Ugh, no. I mean, I’m still alive and I’m not covered in bulky impractical prosthetics, am I?”
To Princess Celestia: Do you have your own paladins of redemption or something along those lines?
“Yes, they are the Elements of Harmony.”
To Princess Luna: How many paladins of redemption do you expect to see join?
“Unlike the elements of Harmony, there is no set number of Paladins. Any creature who has been redeemed and can share that redemption with others can become a Paladin.”
“Alex had his hope restored by being a part of this world. Beatrix has regained her dignity through hope. I am evaluating a few possible candidates.”
To The CMC: Sweetie belle you're the best, Applebloom you are so cute, and Scootaloo your awesome. Anyway what have you three been up to during these events?
Applebloom quickly gathers her friends where they have a little huddle. Every now and then a little gray unicorn pops up to look at you worriedly. Finally, Applebloom turns to you shyly, "When Alex, Rainbow Dash, and Twila’ were in Canterlot, we met up every day, like we always do. Every day we did the stuff we usually do, like crusade for our cutie marks, but this week was extra special ‘cuz we met a new friend.” The Crusaders part and present their friend. With obvious pride Applebloom presents her new friend, “Her name is Sapphire, and she’s our friend.”
The little gray unicorn with the vibrant sapphire blue eyes has a wordless conversation with Applebloom, then the red bowed filly spoke for her friend, “We help her talk, on account she can’t speak. Once you get to know her, you sort of understand what she means, but for new folks, like y’all, we help her out. She says she’s pleased as punch to meet you and hope y’all are enjoying this Q&A thing so far.”
Gladiator159
I love the story ya write. I've always been a sucker for romance. Anyhow, some questions for the cast.
To Princess Celestia,
If you yourself are a god, are you aware of gods in other realities and
if so, what kind of deities ( example: God singular, Greek gods etc.)
She smiles kindly at you and you feel Her love, even from the distance, “I am not a goddess. That would imply infinite power, infinite perfection, and infinite purity. I know I am weak, I am flawed, and I am not pure. I am a humble Princess, and my burden is to care for all my little ponies, all those who who live in Equestria.”
“I know of other Princes and Princesses on other spheres, in other worlds. I’ve spoken to some, some from worlds parallel to your own. Some are known to their ponies, some are not, but all care and love their ponies, as I love mine.”
To Twilight Sparkle,
How does one become an alicorn? Is it by birth, ritual, or just in terms of raw magic power?
“It is simply by need. When the world needs an alicorn, one is born. It’s all part of the magical flow of energy.”
To Applejack,
How many different recipes of apple goods can ya make?
Applejack taps her hoof on her chin for a moment then gives you an easy smile, “Technically, there’s over three hundred million recipes, but they’re mostly just variations on a basic core of about a hundred and fifty. I know all of the core ones, and could likely get most of the rest with a little imagination.”
To Pinkie Pie,
I bequeath unto you a coffee mixed with the purest and sweetest
sugar known to both pony and mankind.
She looks at the cup and the rich, brown coffee, then look up at you, “Thanks!” She proceeds to put a few ice cubes in it, waits a moment, then downs it in one gulp.
To Alex,
Since movie suggestions are being made, how about Disney movies?
Almost everyone enjoys those.
“I would love to see a Marvel movie of some kind. Maybe the Avengers? Naw, I can’t see that being popular.”
Talisman64
Okay, so I've only got a couple of questions at the moment, but I'll probably have more later. I know, shocking for a questions and answers session.
Alex: That knife of yours, can it morph into any form of handheld metal object, like a pistol (I can't imagine you using one; just as an example) or is it like the evil terminator from Terminator 2, and it can only turn into single piece objects, like a hammer?
“Solid objects only, but it can change shape and mass really fast. The closest to mechanical would be the throwing knife. When I throw it, I just need to put it in the general direction of the target, it forms a bracelet and the blade will trail a thin thread and well as sprout gossamer thin wings, like hummingbird wings. It takes itself straight to the target. An extra feature I’ve only ever used on mechanical things or the undead, is the iron urchin. Basically, the blade will burrow into the target and when it’s deep enough, it will shape change to a steel sea urchin a meter in diameter. Something like this.” Alex shows an image on the screen of his laptop.
“So, basically that, but steel and of course the spines are razor sharp. I can’t see ever using it on a living being.”
Rainbow Dash: Now, I'm surprised no one has asked you this yet, but would the awesome, incredible Rainbow Dash be willing to sign her autograph for a fan, here?
Dash flashes you her confident smirk, “I’ll do you one better Talisman64. Hey squirt, are there any hats and posters left from your fan club?”
The little orange filly grins happily, “Let me check, mom.” She gallops out of the room, then returns a few minutes later with a rainbow wig and rolled up poster.
Dash once again gives you that confident smirk, unrolls the poster and writes on black marker, “To my very special friend Talisman64 from your hero Rainbow Dash”.
Twilight’s horn glows and your prized items snap-crack in front of you.
Dash snuggles up with Alex, “Sorry sweetie, but I have to be good to my devoted fans.”
Stillmatic
Yeah, I got a question. Is our reality jumper more like Ghostface Killa, Raekwon, or Method Man? For science's sake, of course.
Alex looks at you, total incomprehension on his face. “Who, what, and how now?”
Next question: how exactly do ponies react to gangster rap and the culture of it? It's a necessary question, for science's sake of course.
Alex again has that same look of confusion. “Well, I don’t know. Miss Scratch, would you be so kind as to give this a listen. I think this is what they mean.”
"Hang a sec, Al." Vinyl reads on his laptop a descriptor of gangsta rap. "Well, I can't say ponies would dig the lyrics ‘cause they're totally for the culture, know what I’m saying? And I definitely wouldn't include these on my records since, well, most wouldn't get it. Our music is about having good times. So...yeah, wouldn’t work.”
“Okay. Does anybody else have an opinion on this?”
“I have an opinion, never play it again. I’ll listen to almost anything, but if you try and make me listen to that again I will set off a stun grenade... The grenade would probably sound better too.” Matt’s voice leaving no doubt in the sincerity of the statement.
Pinkie, with ears covered in pain, “Make it stop! Oh please, won’t somepony make it stop!” Alex turns the thudding music off. “But, as a party planner, I have to know a little bit about the different kinds of music. Hmmm. Sounds like bad apple barn core, Canterlot style, with just a hint of Ponyville back alley. Oh, and Alex?”
“Yes Pinkie?”
“Please please please please please please never play that again.”
“Done.”
Kris Denger
Alex, is it true you have a secret stash of assorted fruit? Answer honestly. How many lies have you made since you came into Equestria?
Your superior human senses notice Alex discreetly pushing a box of bananas under his chair.
If you and that female Alex were to meet, what would your reaction be? Rainbow Dash, same question.
Alex thinks for a moment, “I guess I would greet her as the sister I never had. Likely compare notes on our experiences. Shake the hoof of her Rainbow Dash, whatever he’s called.”
Dash answers without a second thought, “If it’s me as a stallion, then he would be really cool, and I guess Alex as a mare would be cool too.” Her expression turns sultry, “All I know is that it would be a wild night."
At that comment, Alex’s face turns red, much to Dash’s amusement.
First lets get the fan bravado out of the way. I love your and KMCA stories, it’s so rare to find stories written by two different writers to mesh so well.
I never commented on either of your stories because I like to give more than "Awesome Story" but I couldn't find anything to add/change/or anything.
Second, I have only a few small questions and one big one.
To Rainbow Dash. Stay super-ultra-awesome-extreme-amazing pony girl. I know its not a question but I just had to say you still rock.
“See Alex, another adoring fan. You’re just gonna have to get used to it big guy.”
Alex leans back with an easy smile, “Sweetheart, I don’t blame them for a second.”
To Twilight Sparkle. You still have Alex's tablet computer right? Try looking up Ring of Instant Armor. It might be a good idea if Alex is going to keep doing the whole save-others-at-the-cost-of-my-own-life thing.
“I’ve looked at that, but the torus shape of a ring is very difficult to use in magical engineering.”
Have you ever considered asking Zacora to help in the whole magic hurts humans thing, If there a weed that gives magical powers to non magic users, couldn't the reverse be true?
Twilight sits up straight, a surprised look on her face, with a little smile, “That’s a great idea! Why didn’t I think of that?” She immediately lifts seven scrolls and quills, and starts making notes furiously.
Also i hope you like this joke.
a + b = t
(a + b)(a - b) = t(a - b)
a^2 - b^2 = ta - tb
a^2 - ta = b^2 - tb
a^2 - ta + (t^2)/4 = b^2 - tb + (t^2)/4
(a - t/2)^2 = (b - t/2)^2
a - t/2 = b - t/2
a = b
Twilight looks at the formula, snorts in a very Pinkie way, then starts laughing so hard there are tears in her eyes and she is holding her stomach. She finally sighs, “A equals B. That’s so funny. You should do standup comedy. Alex, find out if we can get him to do comedy, this guy is good.”
Alex stared in confusion at the formula. Matt looks like he’s trying to puzzle it out but isn’t getting very far.
Twilight clicks her tongue, “Let me explain it to you...”
Alex interrupts, “No no, that’s quite alright.”
To Lyra (doesn’t matter which) Who do you think you are? Stop treating any human as your personal lab rat and do the Jane Allgood method. You would learn much more if you stop treating them like specimens and treat them like ponies.
“The best observations are ones made unawares, otherwise the subject may attempt to change their behaviour to impress you or make themselves look better. I realize that sometimes a more direct approach is required and I am in the process of attempting this with Matthew. Or rather I’m attempting a hybrid method.”
Oh to Chrysalis, Couldn't your swarm go into the whole nightclub scene? Hear me out, you eat love, nightclubs are dripping with it, you siphon off the love form the air wile providing entertainment and every pony goes home happy. (A little more drained then usual but that's nothing some extra willow bark tablets won’t fix.)
Chrysalis sneers at you from behind the bars of her cage and spits an answer full of hate at you, “Huh! Another whelp tries telling us how to be Changelings! You think we do not document our sources of sustenance, nor hone our methods for extracting it? We don't need your help, nor your advice in survival! However, when we reach your world, you have been added to the top of the list of morsels.”
Matt sneers at Chrysalis, “She’s just annoyed that she never thought of it. Cheer up Alice, it’s not like they suggested you run a... What are they called, feelie parlors?”
Now finally on to the major Poky Dotted Pachyderm in the room. I don’t what explanations or spoilers. Just a Yes or a No if Alex and or Matt is prepared for the what is coming. The one thing that has been burning in my brain ever since I read magic hurts humans. What is going to happen in late summer when the timberwolves start a howlin and there is going to be more magic thrown around in ponyville for five days than Radiation in Chernobyl, plus all the magical byproduct that Scootaloo loves so much?
Alex, with a worried expression, “The humans are boned... Twilight? Options?”
Twilight sighs, “Oh Alex, you worry too much. As long as you and Matt maintain your normal precautions, and maybe have an extra pony close to you, you should be fine.”
Also quick question for Matt. If your nanobots can break down matter to repair your armor, why not get them to make a fiberglass like patches out of pure diamonds?
“Actually the problem is the time it would take to do that. The repair nano-tech works best with the finished materials. In the case of this armor the standard materials were replaced with a diamond and titanium alloy. While not as tough against physical attacks as the original it matches it in resistance to energy weapons. So in this case pure diamonds would be nice.”
*for Alex* So, are you getting the Wonderbolts to perform at the wedding, or am I just reading too much into this?"
Alex, in a manner that is just a little too relaxed, “Dash, could you see if you can find Scoots?”
“Sure, but this doesn’t mean I’m your slave.”
Dash trundles off.
He smiles slowly and leans back in his chair, “Maybe...”
Scootaloo
1) How did you feel when your Daddy, risked himself for you and Mommy?
Scoots looks up at your shyly, “It was weird, especially the way dad roared. He almost sounded like Gilda. But,” she looks up at you with a grin, “it’s cool too. Cuz, I know he loves me, and it’s not just some act. It’s just,” she sniffs but her smile grows, “cool to have a mom and dad that love me.”
2) What plans, surprises, do you have in stall for Alex and Rainbow Dash, Mommy and Daddy? I can’t make my mind up.....
“I have a few ideas, but I’m keeping them to myself for now. All I can say is Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Sapphire will be helping me out and I’m sure they’ll love it.”
Rainbow Dash
1) How did you feel when you needed to be by yourself away from Alex?
Dash doesn’t make eye contact with you, “It was pretty lousy. I felt myself being pushed away, emotionally, and I couldn’t understand why. I mean, he had just saved my life, the squirt’s life, and maybe some other ponies had he not stopped it the way he did. It... it still isn’t easy to talk about, but I know it was chaos magic. It doesn't make it feel any less like I was wrong.”
2) After the 'accident' weren't you two a bit confused other about each others feelings?
Alex looks away for a moment, then answers your question, a hint of anger in his voice, “Yeah, I wasn’t confused. I was as sure as I could be of anything. As far as I was concerned, Dash had wised up and was putting as much space between herself and dangerous animal. And I don’t mean the popping cat.” He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, “I almost....almost lost them both, you know. I don’t know if I... I would have been strong enough to...” he stiffens and breathes deeply.
“Hey big guy, you never have to face anything alone ever again. I’ll always be by your side. Always.”
Applejack
1) It sounded to me miss Applejack, that you sounded a bit 'jealous' when you walked in on the hug Bea was giving Alex, am I right?
She makes eye contact with you, and you find you can’t take your eyes from hers, “You do ask probing questions.” She pushes her hat forward, mercifully breaking eye contact. “I ain’t proud of my feelings that night. When I saw Bea, tail high, I had the most shameful thoughts. I was dishonest with myself and Bea. Like she said, she was just... excited at seeing him safe and sound. Twilight says it’s a known side effect of the chaos magic.”
Bea trots up to Applejack, “Sweetie, really I appreciate that, and your respect is important to me.” Bea gives Applejack a warm hug, tail held firmly down.
2) Also AppleBloom hasn't been heard of for a while, Is she okay?
“She’s fine. Her and her friends keep themselves busy and mostly out of trouble. The week Alex, Rainbow Dash and Twilight were away I had to bail them-”
Applebloom shoves her hoof into her sister’s mouth and glares at her.
Applejack smiled, softly put Applebloom’s hoof down, and continues, “But I promised the girls I wouldn’t talk about, and that’s the truth.”
3) Knowing you Miss Applejack, you were feeling mighty enraged at Dash for leaving Alex when he was hurt, what were your thoughts/feelings?
“I was mighty peeved. I had made peace with myself knowing in my heart Alex was family, not a husband, and there she goes, dropping him like yesterdays news. And then that cosarnet chaos magic went and
Bea(Trixie)
1) Do you feel like a burden, trouble, has been lifted off of you from getting help from Alex?
She sighs and leans into Mac, “A great weight has been removed from my shoulders, and it feels wonderful.” She looks sadly at the ground with humility, “No one has any idea how deep my depression was. I wasn’t even able to make a living with my stagecraft, the one constant in my life that brought me joy. But now? Now I can bring joy to others, and thanks to Alex and Princess Luna, I can also bring them dignity.”
2) How do you feel now that you have friends who will look out for you in your time of need?
“It feels like when I was a child, growing up in the circus. We all took care of each other. Oh, we might have the occasional spat, but we will always protect each other. When I was on the road, I was alone, and I only had me and Trixie to depend on.”
“So, how does it feel?” Bea looks around meekly, “It’s frightening, really, terrifying. Will I say the wrong thing and offend? Will they dislike me for who I was? I so... desperately want their approval. Every one of them. I know I shouldn’t worry, but I do. I have Applejack and her family to thank the most. They’ve made me feel the most welcome I have ever felt anywhere, and I’m very grateful to them for liking both Beatrix and Trixie.” Her body language changes a little, along with her voice, “And Trixie herself will go to any length to please and protect her new friends. We have spoken this for all to hear. Equestria in under our protection.”
Big Macintosh
1) Bit of a mess Alex left for you wasn't it, did it, have any effects on you at all?
“Eyyup. But he saved Miss Rainbow and Applebloom’s friend Scootaloo.” He gives a little chuckle, “He saved his family, and soon they’re going to be Apples, just like him. A little mess don’t matter none fer that.”
2) It looks like you have become a proper little brother toward Alex, can you say you trust him without a doubt?
”At first, I didn’t trust him because he wasn’t any kind of proper pony. But, he cared more about us, about our farm, than most ponies. Then, I got to know him, and I saw Applejack was right, he’s an Apple to the core. So, to answer your question, I trust him like family.”
Alex - Sorry I know the main guy come first, but I am sure you won't mind!
1) How did you feel around AppleJack and Bea when they came in the hospital, when you noticed there tails when they came in for a hug?
”You know, it’s funny. I really don’t notice that stuff unless I’m looking for it, so to speak. Just like if a pony was back on Earth, they wouldn’t catch a woman flirting with them, or catch that hug that lasts just a second too long. They might, if they were thinking about it and looking for it. Anyway, that was the furthest thing from my mind. I just figure it was a natural reaction to being relieved a friend is alright.
2) The whole sorrow thing Alex, I don’t mean this in disrespect but is this the only way to remember those who have 'fallen' from your presence?
Alex smiles sadly, “That ritual was only to remember things that are important. And now, that only thing that’s important is my family. Dash and Scoots, my human family, and my Apple family. They are the only thing I would consider important enough to remember in this way. Really, Fluttershy was the one to help me break the cycle.”
Alex gets up from his chair and walks toward Fluttershy. She doesn’t notice him as she was busy speaking with Matt. Matt looks up and gives Alex a weary smirk. Fluttershy stops speaking abruptly and seems to cower a little from the towering Alex. Alex smiles kindly at her, slowly dropping to one knee, and gently hugs her.
“Thank you so much Fluttershy, for you kindness, for your understanding, for... just being you.”
I’ll bring it back into a positive note.
3) I noticed the whole gang is here with their doubles, so I pulled some strings and got some snacks for you all, your favorite's too ENJOY!
Everyone is enjoying their snacks, but none more so than Alex. He speaks through a mouthful of burger, “Oh god thank you so much! But please, whatever you do, don’t tell Daisy Jo.” You look at Alex, slightly confused, “You know, the cow? I usually buy coffee with her in the mornings. Nice lady, but I think this might offend her.”
Matt
1) How do you think you are going to cope in this world, because from what Alex has been through this isn't a world where you can forget everything, there is always trouble in any universe?
“I’m sure there isn’t trouble in every reality. My third one was pretty comfy... Although it did get attacked and I ended up fighting alongside the security force. Ok, you know what. I’m sure every reality has some downside but from what I’ve seen so far this reality has been pretty nice. I just wish I could get meat easier without feeling really guilty about it, no radiation would be nice, maybe some decent level technology, not having been turned into a cartoon. Still, so far it’s in my top three, including home.”
2) The Armour looks very nice, except from a few patches, how do you think the Armour with help you in this universe?
“Well it’s already saved my life once. Even with armor high speed crashes are usually pretty damaging. The bodysuit not only acts as a muscle suit and armor but as an impact damper as well. Let’s not forget that both the bodysuit and armor plating manage to protect me from all that magic radiation. It’s not perfect but the bodysuit alone will keep me alive ten years longer. The plates... maybe an additional six, the gaps in the plating make it hard for the AI to predict.” Matt shrugs,
“Plus there’s the whole intended use. Between the muscle suit and the plates I could probably stand toe to hoof with almost anypony.” Lyra shakes her head and mouths ‘no’ behind his back.
Fluttershy
1) What do you think of this 'Chaos Magic' that can turn you into 'Flutter-Rage'?
“I don’t want to be rude, but... It’s not chaos magic that makes me angry. Sometimes when kicking and yelling doesn’t make me feel better and things still build up, I just... I just lose control of my temper. I don’t mean to and I feel really bad afterwards, but...” Fluttershy looks like she’s about to cry. Matt limps over and kneeling in front of her gently places a hand on the back of her neck to comfort her before turning a very displeased stare upon you.
2) I see you found a popping cat pup! What are your plans for the little one, where are you going to keep it safe and nurture it without it’s mother?
Alex takes a deep breath. "Well Fluttershy knows a lot about popping cats and beasts in general. So I think she is going to apprentice me in raising a wild animal. I can also access articles and ebooks on my laptop to help me learn if need be. But I am grateful Flutters will teach me what I need to know."
Fluttershy just shyly smiles.
Rarity
1) How were you feeling when Alex came to Ponyville and handed over the ‘Aluminium’ saying it was nothing to him in his world?
Rarity smiles. "Well darling I must say I was quite surprised seeing such a large quantity of the rarest known metal in the known world. But to know that he has and still is doing so much for others after profiting from it fills me with admiration."
Pinkie Pie
1) You seem to be a Pony that is everywhere all the time, how on Earth do you do it?!I
Pinkie whispers into your ear after somehow appearing next to you. "Well, I'd tell you but then I'd have to tickle you." She giggles and reappears back in her seat.
Everyone
1) How do you think you are all going to cope throughout the time you have with each other?
Matt strokes his short facial hair, “We’ll cope somehow.”
“I think it’s going to be a time of great progress.” The Lyra’s declare in unison.
Thank you for your time.
Alex and Matt, dressed in their best tuxedos, smiling broadly.
Alex says, "And that's it for this time, folks!"
Matt speaks next, "Please join us again in a few months for another exciting Memoirs, Jumper, and Special Guest Q&A Extravaganza!"
The both wave cheerfully, and to a cheerful fanfare say together, "Good night and see you all next time."
The spotlight goes out, Alex and Matt relax.
Dash rushes to Alex, "You did great you big lug!"
Scoots is not far behind, "You were awesome Dad!"
Fluttershy meekly flutters to Matt, "You were wonderful, Matthew." She gives him a little peck on the cheek and shyly looks away.
Bea steps closer, clipboard hovering and pages being flipped, "I hate to break this love fest up boys, but we have chapters to get made. Alex, you still have Chapter 37 to finish, nice plotting by the way. And you, Matt, you need to finish Chapter 11.” She amplifies the sound of her hoof stomp. “Now let’s get cracking ponies and humans. This is showbiz, no stalling. I see what you’re doing Matt, get going! And somebody turn that interdimensional portal off right n-”
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I'm just glad that it's finally over
Pinkie whispers into your ear after somehow appearing next to you.....
Me: Yeah I would have to be a fool to beli- HOLY F*yay*K!
Displeased Stare....
1676347
Me: I hate you KMCA!......Just kidding!
Me: Daisy Jo, who the Buck is that?......aaaaahaha, I see what you did there!
Thanks Guys for answering my Questions= I see
stupidlittle errors= There is an I in the Pinkie question, blending with the Exclamation marks "Tis SPY!"And the Quote format disappears on some of my questions. THANKS AGAIN!
WOOHOO! Work well done everypony!
I missed getting questions into this Q and A but I will next time!
Man these are always entertaining!
I'm just happy it's in the can! Great work guys!!
1676693
Glad to help!
Hey everypony! It seems every Q&A things get more awkward for me. Last time I had to hide in Rarity's closet, and this time I've... mentally sort of fused with a version of Pinkie. And you know, it's really awkward for me to ask questions, even on this iPad. So I'm going to pack up and try something, hold on....
1676966
<Techogre gives Masterweaver a hug> By the sun and the moon and their glorious Princesses, I love your questions.
1677082
(First off, a very special thank you for using my questions last time.)
*Winces as he reads the transcript for his last questions* Note to self...never use anti-magic spells...in Equestria...EVER. Yeesh...
@Twilight
So, not a gamer, huh? Oh well, plenty of other ways to put your nerd cred to use. Since it doesn't take much more than point and click though, I bet you enjoy informational sites, such as Wikipedia or TVtropes, a lot more. What are some of your favorites?
@Luna
I know the answer to this varies depending on the universe, but for yours personally...Lunar Guards: Regular Pegasai with cool armor enchantments, or cool bat-ponies with regular(but still cool) armor?
@Cadance
I'm sorry if this might be a touchy subject but here goes. You said last time you're actually younger than Shining Armor, but from Alex's reaction to you, you're definitely a true alicorn. So does this mean you get the whole 'live for thousands of years' deal? Also, Twi gave an answer about alicornification(or whatever the term may be) last time, but I had another question. Is it limited to Celestia/Luna(/other?)'s bloodline and just crops up whenever needed, or is there more to it?
@Celestia/Luna
In relation to Cadance's question, how many alicorns are there?
@Shining Armor
Epic Wife Tossing. How soon until it becomes the national sport? (SORRY, brain wouldn't let me NOT ask. ...Don't hurt me.)
@Alex and Matt
Yeesh, you guys were pretty quick to turn my question about lightsabers to thinking about chopping off heads. I mean, yeah, super deadly weapon, but I was really thinking more along the lines of utility uses, like say its ability to cut through nearly everything. Anyway, have either of you had any sort of actual combat training for the weapons you do have? Other than 'learn by doing' I mean.
@Celestia
Chocolate or Vanilla cake?
@Lyra(s)
...How to put this delicately in a way that won't get me mauled... Have you ever considered that your methods might be a bit too...direct? I mean, maybe if you tried being friendly (in a NORMAL way, not the creepy stalker way) to Alex an/or Matt, they'd be more inclined to spend time with you, and thus more inclined to help out with your research on humans? Also, have you considered maybe asking to see if there was anything you could do to help with Twilight's own studies into humans? I'm sure it'd take you much farther than your current methods are doing. Plus, it's less likely to get you beat up and/or arrested, and less stressful for Bon-Bon to boot!
Another one @Twilight
Speaking of Lyra...have you considered using a duplication spell or something on Alex's laptop (assuming magic and tech play nice enough that this wouldn't fry it or something) and giving her the copy? I'm sure the internet would keep her out of everyone's manes for like...years. At minimum.
@Spike
Has Twilight figured out why human pheromones make you want to go all crush-kill-burninate on them without your filters? Seems pretty weird for dragons to have such an aggressive natural response to something that apparently doesn't normally exist in your world.
@Discord
Rock on, man! Rock on! (...yeah, I'm ashamed of that one too.)
Finally not a question, but a comment @ our authors:
Keep up the great work guys. These stories are great, and I especially enjoy the side stuff like these Q&As!
Wow, that was a big one. Still fun to read. Their response to my Rainbow question was silly. Though I thought I asked him to not share that video with the ponies, as in his eyes only. Oh well, hope yall enjoy spawning in a wall because that's where my back was.
1677560
That was a lot of questions, but I enjoyed reading it thoroughly. This was entertaining and I hope that you had as much fun writing it as I did reading it.
So, The Wonderbolts performing at their wedding? Can you say best wedding ever!? Also, having not read Jumper yet (I'll get to it), I was not expecting Matt to have visited the Republic Commando universe. Saw the word hut'unn and lol'd in surprise. Anyway, epic job guys! Hugs all around!
1679209
Oh, it's hella fun to write, but only about 3-4 times a year. :)
1680256
That's enough to make it worthwhile.
who's Matt btw? is he from the cross over?
1676693 Better than in the crapper, huh, huh, come on.
Oh and This fits surprisingly well into my vision of Lyra... for those of you who haven't tracked Jasonthehuman
Lyra in a nutshell
1681745
Seriously? I swear I answered this EXACT QUESTION in the Q&A.... I did... it's answer #4
Hehe, I may have had copious amounts of Mountain Dew during the question post. Apologies to Twilight. And Alex, just keep being you!
Ugh. This is still a terrible law that would never exist in any real legal system, primarily because someone would have long sense sued to overturn it.
/old rant off