Luna had gotten her wish. An entire city to rule as she saw fit. It was Celestia’s test. A test to see if she had truly reformed. A test to see what kind of ruler she could be. She quickly found out. Welcome to Luna's city of eternal night.
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Okay, first things first: It has taken me far too much time to get around to finally read this chapter.
It was glorious! I LOVE Johnny's character! His sarcastic comments. Brilliant!
And your pacing is fantastic. It's not smooth, as a detectives work is never smooth. It's not slow, as a detective can't afford to slow down.
It's not too fast as a detective can't afford to overlook things either. It's wonderfully erratic BUT without it getting tiresome it is JUST right. It varies depending on the situation and depending on his current state of mind. (Which is probably the reason why I can immerse myself so well in your story)
I as reader am smoothly put into his (horse)shoes find myself repeatedly and refreshingly amused by his reactions and comments to the things I experience through his eyes.
That's actually something I just realised now. I've been wondering since chapter one, what it was about the way you're telling this story, that makes it so... detective-story'y. It's the constant change of pace and the unique and sarcastic way those detective-characters are coping with it.
Also you've created an absolutely hilarious dynamic with him constantly being put under Celly's and Luna's antics.
If it's only half as much fun writing this as it is reading it, then you're in quite the enviable position :twilight:
5576080 Thanks for your kind words OZ. I used to/ still do watch a lot of old black and white movies. My fav's were the detective and gangster stories. Bogart, Cagney, Edward G. Robinson, the old radio serials like The Shadow, and of course the recent noir movies like Sin City, and the sequel. Noir movies can't really be watched as if they were ordinary flicks. Everything is purposely exaggerated. More art than film. I eat 'em up. Next chapter is halfway done, expect a big surprise. Speaking of surprises, check out my latest blog for some art on another upcoming story I'm working on. I think it will catch you off guard...