A second chance

by MagicalEntaty

Something Rises twice. edited.

…It’s always me, do you get it too?

The royal guards watched as the lavender alicorn stood in the middle of a powering-up powerful teleport spell. As the spell became fully active, and Twilight vanished from sight, the nearest one could no longer hold in his rage and yelled after her. "Don't you dare come back, you monster!" The alicorn didn't hear him for she was too deep in her memories. How had this happened? Why? Twilight just didn't know.

The fact she tried to save her former mentor and was now blamed for the attack was beyond horrible. The thought brought tears to her eyes, but what happened afterwards created pain with no equal. Celestia believed that it wasn't Twilight but the pony judge said that Celestia was too traumatized by the "attack" that she wasn't thinking clearly.

The sun monarch promised Twilight that she would do everything within her power to uncover the truth and bring her back. The purple alicorn, unfortunately, was only able to leave a farewell note, pack her things and then was escorted out in public to be sent to a place of exile. Twilight did her best to prove that she was innocent but through the whole land they were printing newspapers that said "Pupil Attacks Teacher." They also printed other horrible things so it was really pointless but she tried anyway, even after seeing the horrified faces of the ponies around her.

Twilight’s thoughts were interrupted when she was suddenly dumped into a clearing surrounded by trees. To her front: unexplored land, to her back, the dark and grim Everfree Forest. She looked out into the untamed wilderness, and with one final look back at home she started onwards with only her bag and memories.

The first day there was pretty hard: she was attacked three times by strange monsters that she had never seen before. After the attacks she would draw pictures and write down what she learned about the things that inhabited, although she hadn't named them yet.

As she continued to look for a safe place to live, she suddenly heard yelling from further into the woods. Twilight extended her wings and flew at top speed to where the cries were coming from. It turned out there was a small group, probably a family, trying to get away from one of the new monsters she’d met. This one had the head of a lion, body of a cougar and dragon wings. It also seemed to have outmatched all the ponies present, except for Twilight. Twilight shot an energy blast at the monster, and it fled shrieking. The alicorn landed in front of the family, noting them all: the stallion, the mare and the little filly. All of them were staring at Twilight in amazement. The father stepped forward.

"Did you come from the castle? Are we allowed to go back?" the stallion spoke, sounding rather dispirited. He was an earth pony with a soft green mane and light brown coat: his cutie mark was a tree. The Princess of Friendship surmised he was a farmer. Twilight looked him up and down. From his words, he’d probably spent a very long time here, and she couldn't give him false hope.

"No, I am here for a crime I did not commit. I'm sorry." She was about to walk away when the mare spoke up.

"Tree Crystal here is my husband. His family, our family was banished after they planted some trees, strange apple trees back home that couldn't grow properly there. The trees nearly destroyed our home but we didn't mean that to happen." Twilight looked at her, noting her looks. She was a unicorn with a sky blue mane, light corn-coloured coat, and a crystal apple blossom cutie mark. Her eyes were pale blue.

“What about you?” The alicorn mare looked down at the little filly who was a unicorn like her mother. She had a brown coat like her father, and a soft red mane. The mother looked at her, and nodded: giving her daughter the reassurance to tell her story.

"I...I tried to steal the elements of harmony to save my home but when they arrested me…they didn't believe me about my home. It's all gone n...now." There were real tears in her eyes. Twilight could tell that that she was sorry.

"What are your names?" Twilight asked, looking at the mother and daughter. At first she was surprised but told her. "I'm Sky Flower, ‘Sky’ for short, and this is Crystal Apple. You’ve already met my husband, Tree Crystal.” There was a faint smile on her face. "We are, all three of us, trying to start over." That was something Twilight could relate to. “Well, I’m Twilight Sparkle. I was a Princess back in Equestria.” “Well, Twilight Sparkle, you’re welcome to stay with us for the time being, if you want to?” Tree Crystal said. Twilight smiled. “Thank you.”

1 week later

Twilight now had a small hut of her own, living near the family that she’d met when she’d arrived. Tree Crystal and Sky Flower had finally got their farm started, growing their apples from seeds they’d brought with them. No one else could grow these apples: they were truly special, unlike the ones that nearly destroyed their land. They looked as though they were made out of crystals and they were even more amazing then zap-apples. Only this particular family could grow them.

Other ponies that were banished lived there too. With Twilight protecting them from the forest and other dangers, they could seemingly live a normal life. After a month the place was roughly about the size of Ponyville, and they made Twilight their ruler, their Princess. Of course she tried to say no but everyone there pleaded oh so very much, and so she was able to take it with a smile.

Her rules went like this. Firstly, this land was theirs, and they couldn't let their anger and their past ruin it. Secondly, to live in the land: the ponies had to be open to change and let go of the anger that they felt in their past.

They named their new land ‘Rises’ because two things rise every day: the sun rises and sets, and then the moon comes out. So like that ever-changing pattern, everyone in this land got a clean slate and a second chance. If they broke the rules, then they were left to fend for themselves but they had to get through 100 acres of forest, just to see the clearing. Not to mention having to traverse the Everfree Forest. With that in mind, most of the ponies that got to Rises were already ready to change. Some couldn’t quite let go of their anger all at once, but over time, the bad memories faded into obscurity.

This was Twilight's new home and life, and she was going to protect these ponies and this land as the Princess of Friendship. The land was peaceful, Equestria did not know of this new land so no one tried to cause them problems. With their new princess, the ponies of this land could rise again but not in hate but love.

Author's Note:

i have a bad feeling that i blathered at the end if i did sorry oh and let me know of any feed back please and thank you.

And a special thank-you to my editor

Comments

[thechicken95]

You need an editor badly. This fic is pretty much unreadable with all the grammar issues. You need a lot more emotion I volved in this story. I felt like this was being read by a person who had just had a lobotomy. Finally, show and don't just tell us the events that happen. We can't see them for ourselves, so let us imagine things by putting more effort with the detail of the ponies, surrounding areas, and the emotions.

[Elric of Melnipony]

Based on the story description, I'm guessing that English isn't your first language.

[MagicalEntaty]

Thanks this is my first story I'll keep that in mind as I continue

[MagicalEntaty]

5363946 thanks i'm new at this

[Vanityocean]

oh I am soo going to use my alicorn powers on the pony or creature who framed twilight soo hard that they wont be able to walk for the rest of their life

[Stainless Steel Fox]

Feels rushed.

We're told about the reasons for Twilight's banishment, not shown them. We don't see how her friends reacted, or what actually happened, or how anyone could believe that Twilight would attack Celestia.

You basically spent the absolute minmum time necessary to get Twilight away and into your plot, and it has less impact.

Likewise, you skim through the founding of her own kingdom. People just happen to start getting banished after her. It seems like an epidemic. And all of them are like Twilight, just misunderstood. Not of them are actual villians. It feels contrived.

If you wanted a ready made kingdom, have a group of outcasts already there, barely surviving and desperate. Twilight uses her powers to help them, or defeat the guy in charge who is a genuine bad guy, and has gathered all the real bad eggs around him, stealing from everyone else. She rises to leadership and manages to propagate her ideals of friendship and co-operation. The place goes from a refugee camp to an actual town.

[Aether Spark]

Its quite Rushed, we didn't get any interactions with Twilight and her friends, not her family and there was too much skipping around.

Sorry but I think this chaptet needs edits.

[Ray MorningLight]

This is interesting, tho quite fast