The Problem With Magic

by deathtap

Day 1: Welcome to Ponyville

I awoke with the most severe headache you could possibly imagine. At first, I had hoped that it was all a really, very bad dream. After all, what the chances that I would end up in...

"Shit!" I muttered aloud to myself looking at my hands that were not hands. They were hooves. Yes, hooves. You cannot possibly imagine how annoying it is trying to spread your hands out and being unable to. The feeling of used to having hands was extremely strange. It felt as if my palms were wide open, yet there were no fingers I could move - yeah, it sucked.

The first thought that struck me was; How am I supposed to hold things? Even standing up was a project. Swaying my body from one side to the other, I eventually had to use my face to help myself up off the ground. As I stood up I practiced walking around the place getting used to being a four legged creature. It was not as simple as I thought, for my body seemed to naturally want to stand up, yet it felt more comfortable on all fours instead. After a while of learning how to walk, or crawl I guess, I took in my surroundings.

I stood in the middle of a copse and looked around. This area was treeless, and the grass beneath my feet was a familiar site. But that was about it. The trees and the scenery were completely alien to me. I could not recognize anything - not that I was botanist or anything, but the plants were completely weird. It was then that I noticed a familiar looking tan, greenish object. I walked over to it and looked. It was my bag!

Not daring to breathe, I opened it and lo' and behold, there was my laptop! I wanted to take it out, to kiss it, to touch it ever so lovingly, but I was too scared about getting caught by some damned Pony or whatever, so I left it inside my bag. If someone were to find me hugging this thing that be an automatic game over for me. Closing my bag - it had a flap and no zip, I hated zips - I slipped my neck through it and let it hang there.

A part of me felt smug. A few months ago I bought this rustic looking bag from a street vendor near where I lived. The great thing about China Town was that people there sold stolen shit and no-one gave a fuck. No doubt this bag was stolen from somewhere and the guy who sold it to me was eager to get rid of it. The bag looked like it was handmade, but whatever. It was big, and I could stuff a lot of crap into it. Two important things a bag needs. Strange thing was, although the laptop was inside, my clothes were gone. All of them, even the ones I was wearing. Essentially I was naked.

Looking between my legs, my jaw dropped. I even lifted my leg like a dog, but there was nothing there! Where was it? Where was my manly organ? Did these Ponies have no penises? How would I piss? How would I...

I stopped myself before I could complete the thought. This was Pony land. There were no humans. So I took that thought and put it as far away as possible in my brain. No. Just, no. Not going to happen. While here, I was going to remain celibate.

Shaking off the thought, I looked up at the sky. Daylight streamed through the forest's canopy. The sun seemed to be right above us, so perhaps it was around noon - if this place had the same chronology as mine. From what the Changeling was saying, I think they were the same, but she did say something about changing the flow of time. I might have learnt something if I was not busy freaking the fuck out. Taking a deep breath, I gathered myself. Needed to have my wits on me.

Managing to get some sort of bearing, and despite the lack of a male organ between my legs, I forged on. I needed to get this stupid bet over and done with and get out of this crazy nightmare. True meaning of friendship, my ass! How the fuck was I supposed to do that? I hated people. It's not that I'm introverted, it's just people annoyed the shit of me. Pathetic excuse for living beings. The world would be better off with them. The only person I need is myself! Why do I have to discover some sort of answer to some secret that I don't give two shits about? Now I had to essentially find someone and learn about this friendship bullshit.

Then I remembered that the Changeling had said that these woods were 'very, very' dangerous. Two verys. That's not a good thing. So I needed to get my caboose out of there before something bad happens. Death. Yeah, death is a very bad thing. I'd prefer eternity trapped with that creature than death any day. Or would I?

"Well, then. Straight I go," I muttered, and headed straight in one direction, hoping the sun would stay in the sky.

After a while of walking, I started to get that disturbing feeling that someone was watching you from the bushes. Every time I turned around, though, the feeling would vanish. This kept on happening for a while until I could take it no more!

"Look, I know you're there. Come out and show yourself!" I growled.

What growled back was a large wolf-like creature. It stood at least twice my height, and had two rows of very pointy teeth. This was not a friendly creature, that much was for sure. The strange thing was that it seemed to be made of wood. But those teeth! Very sharp. Somewhere in the back of my mind I could hear the Changeling's words echo in my head. 'Very, very dangerous'.

So, I did the only thing I could think of. I laughed. Hard. As if insanity had taken me. What else could I do? In my mind I thought, This was it! I've been in this strange land for no more than a few hours, and I'm already dead.

But my laughing confused the predator, and it stopped and stared at me for a moment, then actually took a step back. That was when I heard a voice.

"Do not stop to smell the roses, run to me before my door closes!" A voice shouted.

"The f..." I stopped myself from speaking and bolted. The... whatever it was - gave chase, closing in behind me. Go! I urged my stupid body. Go! Run! I yelled in my head, charging towards where the voice had originated from.

Running - or galloping - at full tilt I saw a path and instinctively followed it. Up ahead I could see a door in built into a tree. Then I realized that it was a house! I saw the door and indeed it was closing. With every last bit of energy I had, I charged forwards as fast as I could. The creature behind me was breathing hard, its breath seemed to be warming my rear. I did not want to turn around. I did not want to see how close that thing was to me. The door was almost closed, and I did not think I was going to make it! I gritted my teeth closed my eyes and jumped.

A part of me expected to faceplant against the door, but no, I faceplanted against the floor. Wham! Slam! The door shut behind me. Boom! The beast collided with it. I'm surprised the door did not break from the impact. The creature growled then whined before it gave up. I could hear it slink off, and I guessed that it knew better than to stay.

As my heart calmed down my first thoughts were to check my laptop, but I resisted the temptation. Could not risk it, not when I had company. I turned around to thank my savior and saw two glowing yellow eyes hidden behind a cape. The robe covered the entire body, and those eyes glowed pretty intimidatingly. My breath caught in the throat. Did I just literally jump out of the frying-pan and into the fire? The creature lowered her hood - how, I do not know - and in front of me I saw a striped creature. A zebra.

Sure, why not? I muttered to myself, Ponies, zebras, strange wolf-like animals. Can't wait to meet the elephants!

"You are lucky, I must agree, that Timberwolf nearly feasted on a pony," She said to me.

"Thanks. You saved my hide. I owe you one." Despite my overwhelming sense of relief, in my mind I felt really annoyed. Timberwolves? Made from wood? Timber and wolves? I made a mental note to strangle whoever thought of that.

"That is a good thing to know, but tell me how you ended up here, though."

"Um... well, you see, I... got lost... and... well... yeah. I'm on my way to..." What was the name of that town? "To... the town... and I guess I took a wrong turn somewhere?"

"That is a very strange thing, for here in the Everfree Forest there is only one way in," The zebra said and walked over to the window and peered outside.

"Yeah? Well, I think I walked in to... well, curiosity, you see... and then... I got lost."

"Curiosity killed the cat, you nearly made that Timberwolf fat."

"You... really talk like that, eh? In rhymes?" I said aloud, then to myself immediately afterwards, Yeah, no shit Sherlock.

"It has become a habit of mine, you do not approve of rhyme?"

"It's not that, I'm just impressed you're able to do it every single time..." This was perhaps the biggest bullshit I've ever heard. A talking zebra who spoke in rhyme? And why did she sound like someone from Africa? A zebra, from Africa? Right, did they have an Africa in Pony world? Of course she's going to have an African accent! What other accent would she have? Too many questions. No logical answers.

Wing it! I told myself, "Since I'm lost... is it possible to help me find my way out?"

"To town I will lead the way, for at night here you must not stay."

"Uh... that's kind of you to say?" I replied stupidly trying to tie on to her rhyming.

She just smiled at me, "Zecora was the name given at my birth, tell me yours, Pony of Earth."

At first I wondered how she came up with all these rhymes so quickly. But due to my brilliance I understood how she was able to accomplish this feat. She probably had certain pairs of words that she used to strong together naturally. That was how she was able to pull off all these rhymes. A part of me felt a sadistic urge to try and get her to break her system, but I am supposed to befriend these animals. What if I insulted her and made her hate me for doing that? Could not take the risk. Eternal prison with that Changeling was not an option and I was not going to risk it. If this Zebra could teach me what I needed to know, then I'd gladly be her friend. I shuddered at the thought.

I understood she wanted a name. But could my name be used? After all, the Changeling said that if any Pony guessed that I was a human then that would automatically result in me being imprisoned with her. And as stated before, that was not an option.

"I'm sorry, uh, Zecora?" She nodded, confirming that I had said her name correctly. Zecora, the Zebra. Great, at least I won't forget that, "I... er... seem to have forgotten my name. I... was climbing a tree... and I... er... fell down. I must have hit my head pretty hard..." Brilliant! A horse climbing a tree? Where the hell did I pull that one out of? My ass was already empty from all the shit I pulled out of it dealing with the Changeling. But, whatever. It seemed to work.

"Perhaps it's amnesia that ails you, in town we will find you a doctor or two."

"That sounds great!" I lied. Pony doctors? Wouldn't they be called vets? Fuck it, just play along.

She began to potter about in her hut, and I used that time to look around. I saw large masks on the walls that resembled those African tribes masks I'd seen at museums and movies. There were a tonne of bottles and shit lying around, filled with every conceivable color. And books, there were all round the place, and right smack in the middle of the room was a huge cauldron of bubbling liquid. Despite its greenish gooey texture, the smell that around from it was simply divine. Whatever it was, it made my stomach growl.

That brought another concern to me. Food. What the hell do these Ponies eat? Don't tell me I had to learn how to eat grass...

"Are you ready to go to town, or do want a snack to calm your stomach down?" Zecora said, smiling at me.

"A snack?" Why the fuck not, I muttered in my head, "Sure!"

She walked over to another part of her home and pulled something out from a shelf, and then opened it. Inside was a large green apple. Green apples. I love green apples. Before she could say anything else, I had devoured it in one bite. Perhaps I was a little too hungry. She chuckled to herself.

"There is something strange about your flank, for it is completely blank," Zecora said as I was crunching away on my apple.

Was she checking me out? Why was she staring at my ass? I looked over to hers and saw something there. It looked like a sun with a vortex in the middle. I did not want to say anything, so I kept chewing for as long as I could hoping that she would forget about it, but she did not. Now I had to think of something and quick.

"I... don't know..." Something true! Even though that was not quite what I meant.

"You are a very strange stallion, no name nor a mark, but come let us go before it gets dark."

I knew that she meant that we had to leave so that she could get home before night came. But I was still starving. Would it be polite to have another apple? Could not risk insulting her. So, I sucked it up. Food can come later. At least they had apples to eat, the prospect of eating grass did not sit well with me.

Away we went through the woods. Despite my slightly larger stature compared to the Zebra, I was not used to dealing with woods of any sort, so I kept close behind her hoping that the wolf had fucked off. She followed a large path that led in more or less a straight route. After a few more moments the woods started to thin out, and eventually we came to what looked like a bridge, or something.

"The Everfree Forest entrance is right in front of your face, do you remember passing through this place?"

Seriously, why did she keep talking like that? "No, I don't remember..." Because I never went through here, you stupid horse!

She frowned, and continued to lead the way. As soon as we passed the bridge, or whatever it was, everything seemed to lighten up and the sight in front of me took my breath away.

Ponies! Tonnes of them! Not only on the ground, but up in the air as well! My mind was blown. And they were from all shades of colors! Not just normal colors for horses back from my world, but all sorts. This must be what people on LSD must see. Something on my face seemed to make Zecora curious, because she stopped and looked at me strangely.

"Wha... what?"

"Is there anyone with which you can stay? Or perhaps a room at the hotel - if you can pay."

I stared at her for a moment, then explained that I had no money. But it surprised me that these creatures had a currency? What did Ponies use a money anyway?

"Then what you need is a job to do, do a good job and they will pay you."

This is getting really old, really fast. I thought to myself, but I forced a smile, "Do you know where I can work, then? To get a job?"

"Applejack's farm is the first place you should see, extra hands to help she might accept happily."

"A farm? Great!" Fuck no! I hated manual labor. Working with my hands? She mad? But then again, what hands? But I couldn't look a gift horse in the mouth - no pun intended. I needed to find a job, get money and shit.

All the while the fact that I no longer had a penis still was bothering the fuck out of me. No matter how much I tried to shove the though aside it would promptly place itself whenever I happened to see another male - or what looked to be a male. Seriously had to resist the urge to look between their legs. Didn't want them to think I was a gay Pony if such a thing existed.

Zecora smiled at my answer, and continued to lead the way. As we walked, we came over a crest of a small rise and down below I saw it. A town, "Welcome, stranger, to the happy town of Ponyville, does its sight happen to ring a bell?"

With her accent those two words actually rhymed. Well played, Zebra. Well played. I said to myself. "No." I said out loud to her.

Again she made a face, but continued towards the town. The brightly colored buildings took a moment to get used to. Here were more Ponies, and they were doing shit that humans do. Shopping, hanging out, being sociable. They all annoyed the shit out of me. Seriously. I envied them. They managed to get on with their lives, and a part of me wished I could go on with mine. So what if my life was mundane, but then again being a raging asshole was an inbuilt mechanism for me. So, being a mundane loser was impossible for me. But I couldn't shit like that here. What I needed to do was win this bet, get my human form back, then go home.

All the while Zecora was leading, she would sometimes pause and start digging the ground. Sometimes she'd put whatever she'd find into a bag that was hanging off her back. Saddle bags were the handbags of this world. Great.

"Hey Zecora, how's it goin'?" Came a very, very southern drawl.

Great. First Africans disguised as Zebras, now Pony red-necks! I muttered in my head.

"Oh, hi Zecora! Who's your friend?" Came a squeaky, high-pitched voice.

Before either I or Zecora could respond, a blur of pink rushed to my side. And I was staring into the big blue eyes of a florescent pink pony. Yes, she was pink. Pink! She peered deep into my eyes, and I could not help but back off slightly. The fuck was up with this one?

"This stallion was lost in the Everfree Forest you see, and he has lost his identity." Zecora explained.

The pink Pony kept moving closer to me every time I backed off. God damn it! Get this thing away from me! I wanted to shout, but I grinned and continued to back away. "Yes, that's true. I've forgotten... well, everything."

"You mean you don't know who you are?" The pink one said, shoving her head closer to mine again. She had said it as if it were the most shocking news she had ever heard in her life. I had to move my face back to avoid getting head-butted by her.

"Uh... yes... can't recall anything about me at all," I replied, moving back some more, Doesn't this bitch have a concept of personal space?

"I'm sorry, friend," The other one replied in red-neck accent, "Pinkie here means no harm."

She was orange. Orange! With a southern accent! Kill me now. "No, no. It's fine. Just caught me off guard." I lied. Get that psycho away from me! Was what I really thought.

"Applejack, dear, on your farm do you need an assist? This stallion needs to earn some coin, if you get my gist."

"Well, sure, Zecora, we could always use an extra pair of hooves over at Sweet Apple Acres. You don't mind workin' hard and sweatin', do you?" Applejack asked.

I hate working. Was my instinctive answer, and I would have said it, but I needed to make money. At least I didn't need to apply for a job, "Great! I love sweating and working hard. Builds character." I lied. All it did was make my muscles ache.

"Then it's agreed. We start working bright and early. It's Applebuckin' season, and we start buckin' them apples first thing in the morning!"

"Buckin'?" I asked.

"Come tomorrow and I'll show you how it's done." Applejack replied.

"What time?" I asked, "I mean, do I need to come by?"

"Well, I say around five in the mornin' we start, so anytime before then," Applejack looked at me.

"Yay!" I said sarcastically, but my sarcasm fell on deaf ears, and Applejack smiled widely.

"Five in the morning?" The pink Pony squawked, "No way I'd wake up that early!"

"You don't have to Pinkie. It's for this here stallion. So, I'll see you there. Come along Pinkie, let's go," Applejack said, dragging the pink pony with her mouth.

"But, but... he doesn't have a name!" Pinkie said, "How do I know what to put on his welcome to Ponyville cake if he doesn't have a name!"

"Welcome to Ponyville cake?" As soon as the question left my lips, the pink pony slipped out of her friend's grip and was at my side faster than you could blink.

"Yes, I always throw parties for new-Ponies that come to Ponyville! I'll throw one for you!"

"Now, Pinkie, I'm not sure that's such a good idea... at least, not now..." Applejack started. To be fair, she was trying to get Pinkie away from me. My hatred for the orange one diminished slightly for the effort.

"Why not, Applejack?" Pinkie then turned to me, ducked behind me and vanished. Then before I could turn around, she was back in front of me bobbing up and down.

Was I hearing... music? Yep, I was definitely hearing it. Where the hell was it coming from? Was I going mental? I turned around, there was a large portable music box-like thing behind me! Where the fuck did that come from? Before the thought could complete itself, the pink Pony twisted my my neck to face her.

"Welcome welcome welcome, a fine welcome to you," She sang.

Fuck no! You're shitting me! She's actually singing?

"Welcome welcome welcome I say how do you do? Welcome welcome welcome, I say hip hip hurray! Welcome welcome welcome to Ponyville today!" She skidded on her knees to me.

Then the box-music thing behind me exploded which made me jump and have a minor heart attack as confetti showered down on me from above, and in the next moment a cake popped out from the front.

"What do you know! I actually put the cake and confetti in the right places this time!" She went over to the cake, stood on her hind legs and lifted the cake up and walked over to me, "Blow out your candles!"

"But... it isn't my birthday..." Just then my brain interrupted me, Logic be damned. Make the pink Pony happy! Never has my brain made so much sense. I blew those fucking candles out. I blew them so hard, I could have sword the icing on the cake would have flown off.

"Okay, Pinkie, that's enough..." Applejack said in the silence that followed.

"But... he still needs to eat some cake!"

I was starving! And admittedly the cake smelt rather good. So, I took a bite. God damn it! This cake was friggin' gorgeous! The best cake I have ever eaten in my life! The texture, the flavors. Everything about it was exceptional. I tasted like mint, chocolate, vanilla and strawberries all wrapped up into a single perfect bite. No one flavor overpowered the other, and the icing had a flavor that complimented the sweetness. Chefs on my world would have killed to have this recipe. I think I had an orgasm in my mouth, that was how good it was. I destroyed the cake, and yet still I was starving. But perhaps, now that I had played along, the pink Pony would leave me the fuck alone!

"Pinkie..." Applejack began, but once again, Pinkie had something to say. There was just no stopping her!

"A name! He needs a name. Maybe his mark will give us a clue!" She zipped around me faster than I could blink. How the hell did she do that? "Ohmygosh! Applejack, looky! He's got no Cutie Mark!" She pointed at my ass. Now I noticed that almost every single pony had markings! But not me.

"Um... yeah, I don't know anything about that." I replied truthfully.

"A Cutie Mark is a mark that appears when you've learnt something special about you! Like a talent, or something like that!" The pink Pony said as if she were speed-talking, again well within my personal space. I backed up a bit away from her again.

"Pinkie, I think he meant that he doesn't know about why he doesn't have a Cutie Mark, sweetie, not that he doesn't know what a Cutie Mark is." Applejack said, trying once again to pull Pinkie away from me. She got more points deducted from my hate-scale for that. At this rate I might even get to like her.

"Oh yeah! I knew that," Pinkie grinned in response.

"Your talent is blowing balloons?" I asked, noticing that she had three balloons as her Cutie Mark. Even thinking of the name of the mark made me shudder. Cutie Mark? Seriously?

"Pinkie Pie's talent lies in something worthwhile, the ability to make everyone smile." Zecora answered my question.

I guess she was right. Despite freaking me out, I found that I did have a smile on my face, although it was more of a mocking one.

"You need a name." She began to think of one.

Don't hurt your brain. I said to myself, "Sure, why not."

"I know!" She shouted. That scared the shit out of me. Never expected her to explode suddenly like that, "How about Forest?"

"Forest?" I asked. That wasn't too bad. Better than I expected, actually.

"Why in tarnation would you want to call him Forest?"

"Because he came from the Everfree Forest, silly. It's just until he remembers his real name." Pinkie grinned, "So? What do you think?"

Better than nothing, and I really did like it, "Yeah. Yeah, that's great. Thank you, Pinkie." And the funny thing was, I actually meant it. Now I didn't have to think up of a name.

"Forest is a good name I must admit, to this namesake you must commit. Now we must look for someplace to lay your head, one with a nice, warm, cozy bed." Zecora turned and began to lead the way.

"Oh, it's scheduled to rain a little later," Applejack said, "About an hour from now."

"Scheduled?" I asked, a little too quickly.

"Wow, you must have hit your head harder than I thought. Scheduled. You know. The Pegasi control the weather, they're makin' it rain later." Applejack said, looking at me funny.

You've got to be fucking kidding me! I thought to myself, "Oh yeah! That does sound familiar. I think I am recalling that. Strange I would forget something so obvious." I laughed aloud. Got to be careful!

"The only place on Equestria that has its own weather is in the Everfree Forest... how long were you in there for?"

Shit! I shouted at myself, "No idea. I think... maybe a while? I don't know."

That seemed to satisfy Applejack, "Okay then. See you tomorrow, Forest. My farm is located over yonder. Just follow the path that way and you can't miss it." She pointed with her hoof.

"See you tomorrow, and thanks for the opportunity," I said, Please go away now. I thought, before the pink one could 'attack' me again.

Finally the two Ponies left much to my relief, and I followed Zecora (who did her digging a couple more times) to a nice looking place. It was a fairly large house, and on the front written in English - yes, English - it said 'Prancing Pony'. That name sounded very familiar to me, but I couldn't place it. Whatever. It's a hotel, inn... stables?

Zecora conversed with the receptionist. The main lobby area was tiny. In front of the main desk were two large sofas that occupied one entire end. Towards the left was a door that seemed to lead into a restaurant of some sort; I saw some Ponies in there sitting on tables. Next to the two sofas was a large glass window that spanned from the floor to the ceiling, outside of which you could see a large round building at the end. It looked fairly important.

I stood to one side and watched for a while. The Ponies here seemed different from the ones outside. Here they seemed more business-like, or industrious. The ones outside seemed a lot more free. It was as if this was a college town, and the Ponies here were students going nuts. The Ponies inside the seemed more professional Ponies, and disinterested in staying in this small town any longer than they needed to.

After a while Zecora returned, "A room you will have for just one week, after that another place you must seek. Remember to go to see the doctor later, perhaps he'll find something to make you better."

"Thank you, Zecora, you've done a lot for me today. And you saved my life. As I said, I owe you one. If you ever need anything, please let me know." I said aloud, If I can get you to teach me what it means to a true friend... then maybe I can end this stupid bet and go home.

She bowed her head, and walked off.

"This way please," The receptionist said. She had a high, nasal voice that grated against my ear-drums.

We walked up a slight of stairs, and almost immediately it was the first room on the left. She opened the door by using her mouth to put the key inside the door and opened it. I walked inside and looked around. Everything seemed to be like a normal hotel room. The bed, a table to sit and write shit on. There was even a chair. It was lower to the ground than human chairs, but it was a chair, nonetheless!

"This is the bathroom here." The receptionist opened a small door, and there indeed was a bathroom, and a toilet!

"Great," I smiled. Do I need to tip you, bitch?

"Dinner is at seven. Breakfast is inclusive." With that she slammed the door in my face and stalked off.

"Yeah, well fuck you too!" I said as quietly as possible.

The first thing I did was open my bag and pull out my laptop. Using my mouth, I carried it to the desk, and placed it on the table. Then, I had to find a way to open it, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get it to open. Using my tongue, I poke the latch on the front. It worked! I pushed the screen up, and it automatically switched on!

Then the strangest thing on the planet happened. I got a Skype call. Seriously. A Skype call? Did the Ponies get Internet?

Hesitantly, I used my tongue on the touchpad and answered the call.

"Well, well, well, 'Forest'. Not bad. You not only survived an encounter with a Timberwolf, but you also managed to find a place to stay and get a job. And it hasn't even been your first day," Came the voice. The video appeared a moment later, but a part of me wish it hadn't. It was the Changeling.

"How the fuck are you using Skype?" I asked.

"I imbued a spell in your computer, and yes, I know what a computer is, and no, I did not program it. I used magic. We cannot communicate any other way because Celestia might sense the magic. With the magic inside this device there is no way she can find out. There is a spell inside this for you to communicate with me. I only used this Skype thing because it is something you'd be able to relate to," The Changeling leaned back. She was eating something that looked like pie. As soon as the words left her mouth, the desktop and everything else vanished and I was given a full screen image of the Changeling's hideous face.

"Thanks, I guess. Does that mean I can use the Internet?"

"No. As I said, the only purpose of that machine is to communicate with me," The Changeling frowned, "That doesn't mean I won't be watching you, but if you need to get in touch with me then you'll need this. It's your only way to talk to me."

"Great. If anyone finds this, you do know that I'm screwed, right?"

"Then you best hide it somewhere that no-one will be able to find it," The Changeling grinned, "And I've also modified it using magic. It won't run out of battery."

"We could make a fortune with that in my world," I replied, never-ending batteries for laptops? Who wouldn't buy them?

The Changeling grinned, "You still have half a day. Why not familiarize yourself with the town. Get to know more of the locals, and places."

"Fine," I stopped, "Oh, and it's been bothering me for a while, but what is your name?"

"My name?" The Changeling put her piece of pie down, "Why?"

"I mean, what do I call you? Changeling? Vampire-horse?" Bitch? I smirked at that. Bitch was a name that suited her perfectly.

There was a long silence as she looked up at the sky. Then she smiled and turned to the camera, "Tutela. You can call me that." She replied.

Tutela? I thought to myself, "Fine, Tutela.Talk to you later."

She nodded, and the call cut off. Not bothering to close the laptop, considering how difficult it was to open it in the first place, I held it in my mouth. After managing to somehow open the closet door with my hoof, I searched for the one thing that is common in hotels. A safe! A part of me could not really believe it, but another part of my mind just accepted it. Using my mouth to open the lock, I set the laptop inside. A perfect fit! Closing the safe, I armed it and then turned to the toilets.

To be honest, it was not that I needed to go, but I just had to know! Where did the my penis go? I smirked at that, Zecora's got nothing on me!

Using the mirror, I took a good look at myself. I had not realized, but my body's color was this strange tan or light mud-like color. At least I wasn't neon pink! My hair - or what do you call it on these creatures? Mane? - was a dark brown hue, almost black, the same color also marked my tail. In all essence, I was a pony in every sense of the word - with the exception that I could talk. If I was in my world, I might have passed for a proper pony. Or not, after all my colors were far too cartoony.

"I need to take a piss!" I muttered to myself, and placed where I thought my penis would be over the toilet. Then, something strange happened. My body opened up as if it were a suit! Then, there it was! My manliness! Everything was where it should be. I emptied my bladder, and watched as it retracted back into my body. To be honest, it freaked the fuck out of me, and I felt strange about what was happening. Not the fact that it entered the torso - strangely it felt natural - but that fact that since my penis went inside me, would that count as autofornication?

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" I asked myself, "Well, John, you now know how Ponies in this world hide their dicks. You deserve a fuckin' medal. Oh, sorry, I meant Forest."

Somehow I convinced myself that I was wearing a pony suit. This conclusion sort of forced itself onto me, and I just let it happen. What else could I do? Otherwise I could not accept what just happened to me.

Locking my room up - after double checking that the safe was locked down - I headed down to the lobby and placed my key at reception. The annoying bitch of a receptionist was there eying me the way bitches do when they have bitching on their minds.

"Hi, I was wondering if you could tell me which was I could go to get me to the hospital?"

"Why? You sick? You ill? We don't want you here if you're sick..."

Relax bitch! I thought to myself, "No. I'm not sick."

"Then why'd you need to go to the hospital for?" She squawked.

My blood hit boiling point. I wanted to beat the living daylights out of this bitch. Seriously? But I swallowed my anger, and forced a smile on my face, "I need to go the hospital, because if I don't..." I'll kill you! "I won't be able to sleep tonight. I need to refill my prescription."

Accepting that I was not ill, and accepting that I genuinely needed to go, she gave me the directions, "Go out, turn left until you get to Carousel Boutique. Then take a right and head down till you reach the hospital. Can't miss it."

I turned and walked out. Fuck it. Not going to thank her. She didn't deserve a thank you.

Walking down the street, I noticed that the Ponies were rushing around. Some were putting stuff away, others were just walking briskly. I continued on my way when I started to feel drops on my head. I had totally forgotten about the rain! I ran towards the nearest building. It read something about a boutique on it, but I couldn't quite catch the name. I got in just as the rains really opened up. It poured down hard.

"Hello?" A voice cooed from behind me, "Welcome to the Carousel Boutique! The most fabulous boutique in all of Ponyville... oh my, did you get caught in the rain?"

"Yeah. Can I just wait here until it stops?" I said, near the door, "Forgot that it was scheduled."

"Oh my. I hate it when that happens. Come, come, you must not dally near that door. You might catch a cold..." She motioned for me to come in.

"No, really. It's okay. I'm on my way to the hospital, anyway."

"Oh? Really? Whatever for? You look perfectly fine to me."

Fucking hell! Can't I just be left alone for ten minutes! "I have amnesia," I lied, "I wanted to see if the doctors could help." And so that Zecora doesn't chase me down asking me why I didn't go see the doctors. Who knows what these crazy equines would do. Better not risk it.

"Oh, you're that new Pony that Pinkie was talking about. I believe she's named you Forest?"

"Yes, ma'am. Forest's my new name - wait, did you say Pinkie? You're friends with her?"

"Please, Pinkie is friends with everybody, whether you like it or not. She has a very strong personality."

"I would have to agree with you on that one." I nodded.

The white Pony laughed. She had a tiny horn on her head. Was she a rhino?

"My name is Rarity, I own this boutique," She gestured with her hoof, "I make the best fashionable clothing in all of Equestria! Let alone Ponyville, I have boutiques all over the lands, from Canterlot to Fillydelphia."

I have no clue what the fuck you're talking about, but since you're showing off, I'm going to play along. "That's simply the most amazing thing ever!" I said. Perhaps that was too sarcastic?

She must have missed the sarcasm in my voice because her eyes lit up, "Would you like to see some of my work?" She asked.

"Sure. Why not. While I'm here..." I followed her, having nothing else better to do at that moment. She pushed open a set of large swivel doors and inside were two other ponies. One looked like a copy of Rarity, only a little smaller. She sat at a table with a look of deep concentration in her eyes. Another pony, this one with wings, was moving some rolls of fabric from one side of the room to the other.

"Forest, let me introduce you to my younger sister Sweetie Belle, and her friend Scootaloo."

"Hello." I said, unable to think of anything clever to say.

Sweetie Belle ran over to me, "Is it true that you don't have a Cutie Mark?"

"Sweetie!" Rarity hissed, scolding her sister.

"Word sure does get around fast," I muttered aloud. I turned slightly and let my posterior speak for itself.

The two looked at one another, "We used to have Blank Flanks like yourself for the longest time. In fact Apple Bloom still has to get her Cutie Mark. We used to call ourselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Those were fun times..."

Cutie Mark Crusaders? "Apple Bloom?" I put two and two together, "I assume she's Applejack's sister."

"You know her?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Who? Applejack? Yeah, I'm working at her farm tomorrow morning." I replied. No use lying.

"No, silly. Apple Bloom."

I shook my head, "Never met her. Sorry. But the name..."

"Well, we're meeting her later on today. We're trying to find her special talent. I'm sure we'll find it soon," Scootaloo grinned, "Do you want to come? Maybe we can help you find yours too!"

"Can I think about it?" There is no fucking way that's going to happen.

"Sure." The both said together.

Then my eye caught something out of the ordinary.

"Ah, yes. I see you've noticed."

"Huh? What?" My heart beat in my throat. Did she notice something about me?

"Those strange clothes are for a human. They are made that way purposefully. This is probably the only reason why I remain here in Ponyville. My friends need me, I'm the only person in all of Equestria that can design clothes like this."

"Hu... human?" I felt that I was going to explode. Did they find out? Did I accidentally reveal myself? Did they find my laptop?

"Yes. Rainbow Dash's father. Mr. Brian Dash."

My heart froze, "What did you say?"

"A human. It's a type of creature from a far away place. Rainbow Dash's father is one. Those are his clothes."

I heaved a sigh of relief and sat down despite myself. Never before have I felt so tired so quickly, "Oh! I get it." Now that I think of it, the Changeling did mention something about a human in this world.

"Wait, Applejack mentioned that you needed a job to earn from money. Would you like to earn some now?" Rarity asked, turning to me.

"Sure. But I can't sew..."

"Oh no, I wouldn't allow you to make clothes," She said rolling her eyes.

What a bitch! I started liking this white Pony more and more. She was a complete asshole. Made me feel like I was right at home, "Then what do I need to do?"

"You need to deliver these clothes to Mr. Dash. He's expecting them today and I've underestimated the weight. Since you look like a big strong Stallion, how about you carry the delivery? And since you're new around town, Sweetie Belle, can you help and go with Mr. Forest?"

"Okay, sis." Sweetie Belle got up, and peered outside the window, "The rain's going to stop any minute now."

"Then let's pack up the clothes and get everything ready to go." Rarity stated, and went about her business while I stayed where I was near the door.

I watched as they neatly packed the clothes in large brown boxes. Like the Changeling, Rarity had a horn on her head. I understood why Tutela seemed completely unfazed when I asked if she was a unicorn. Obviously in a land of flying, talking and walking Ponies and Pegsuses - or was it Pegasi - there was going to be Unicorns and shit. That was probably why I did not give a shit when I saw the blue-purple glow around objects, and when said objects floated around. Magic.

Rarity obsessed in making everything perfect, even tying the bows as neatly as she could using her Unicorn glowy magic. She was a neat and tidy bitch. Wonderful. Just wonderful. Out of all the Ponies I've met so far, this one seemed by far the most normal and therefore the best.

"All done."

"And so's the rain." The orange Pegasus put in. Sure enough, the rain was done and the sun pierced through the clouds.

Using her magic, she lifted each box up. I noticed that each one she let out a slight grunt. She struggled with the heavier boxes, taking longer to lift those and I could make out she was struggling. Her sister combined her magic with her sisters to help move the heavier boxes over towards a strange carrier of some sort. It looked somewhat like a saddlebag that you'd see on horses from my world, but this one had a lot of embroidery on the sides, and the name of the boutique etched in the metal. Two large canvas-looking straps ran across the middle, as well as along the sides creating two basket-like areas where the boxes were loaded.

So, Magic is restricted by how strong you are - like muscles. The stronger the magic, the stronger the Pony's powers. I'm such a fucking genius. I deserve a medal. I thought to myself.

"Okay, there you go." Rarity stood back away from the contraption. When I looked at it now I understood what the contraption was. Essentially a saddle-bag, but with metallic support. Walking over to it, I lowered myself closer to the ground and put my body under the loops. Then, I stood up. The contraption lifted off the ground easy, but holy shit it was a lot heavier than I thought. How many clothes did this Brian need? Not only that, but how were any of these Ponies going to lift this?

"You okay there, Forest?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Fine, fine." I muttered. Lift, god damn you! I heaved my legs up, and once I got it lifted it wasn't so bad. Sweetie Belle lead the way, walking a little in front of me. We were going to head to the hospital first.

Scootaloo laughed seeing me struggling. Obviously she was better than me. The bitch.

"I'll catch up with you two later. I've got to help Rarity put some more things away."

Sweetie Belle nodded, and then held the door open for me as a walked out. The rain was indeed over and as I looked above I noticed that the clouds were moving in uniform motion. My keen eyes noticed that behind each cloud there was a flying Pony. Sure, why not. Flying Ponies that could push clouds. Who came up with this shit?

"The Pegasus control the weather," Sweetie Belle said, "Now that the rain's are done, they're moving the clouds out of the way for the sun."

I looked at her, I think someone mentioned it before, maybe Applejack, "Just... it's still something." Well, it was. That wasn't a lie.

As we arrived at the hospital, I walked in and let the package down. I felt so light, I thought I could fly. Maybe I was high? As I breathed in deep, I definitely smelt something in the air. Something strange.

"Yes, what can I do for you?" A Pony said from behind a desk.

Sweetie Belle spoke for me, "Hi Nurse Tenderheart. This is Forest, well, that's his name for now. He's suffering from Amnesia."

"Oh yes, we've been expecting you. Zecora mentioned that someone with amnesia was coming, but I'm afraid that the Doctor is just making his rounds, if you don't mind waiting for a while, he can see you later," Nurse Tenderheart looked over to me.

"Well, Forest?" Sweetie Belle asked me.

I thought about it, "How long will it be? Maybe we can drop these off, then come back?" I gestured to the heavy load. Might as well get it over and done with. I hated prolonging things.

"Let's do that then. We'll be back later, Nurse Tenderheart."

The nurse nodded and smiled as I struggled with the load and lumbered out of the hospital with it.

The trip towards Brian's house was not long, but annoyingly most of it was uphill. Once I got to his front door, Sweetie rang the doorbell, and the door opened.

"Oh hi, Rainbow Dash. I didn't think you were home. We're here to drop your dad's new clothes off," Sweetie Belle moved aside and I saw a light-blue flying Pony with a rainbow colored mane. So, this was the Pony that ended up lost on my world. Rainbow Dash. What a fucking ridiculous name! And is she gay? She has to be gay. She's definitely gay. Rainbows? Come on!

"Dad, Rarity's new clothes are here for you!" Rainbow shouted. I walked over to the front door, "Oh, yeah. Um... just leave it over there."

Walking in, I lowered myself and let the contraption lay on the floor. I heard the stairs creek and looked up. A human started walking down the stairs. He looked over at Rainbow Bash, then at me and finally at Sweetie Belle, "Hello Sweetie," He said.

"Hello, Brian." Sweetie Belle replied.

By the time he reached the bottom of the stairs, he looked at me, "I don't believe I've seen you before."

"New around here," I said, perhaps a little too quickly.

Sweetie Belle cut in, "He got lost in the Everfree Forest. He's got amnesia."

"Have you now? So, can't remember anything?" Brian said, and walked over the the contraption. I moved out of the way to let him get to his stuff.

"Not really."

"You don't seen really... concerned about me. Most Ponies who meet me for the first time are a little... scared, I guess. You don't seem phased by my appearance at all."

Shit, shit, shit! "Well, that's probably because I've used up my fear from narrowly escaping the clutches of a Timberwolf."

"You were chased by Timberwolves?" Sweetie Belle and Rainbow Dash said at the same time.

I nodded, "Zecora saved my sorry ah..." Damn it! No swearing! "Flank."

"What were you doing in the Everfree Forest in the first place?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Tired of explaining, I just shrugged, "Can't remember."

"Well, I hope that you remember soon. It must be horrible not being able to remember who you are."

"I hope so too." Looking around, I noticed that there were a lot of pictures. I focused on a few of them as the Rainbow Dash and Sweetie Belle continued to chat. Most of the photos there seemed to be taken from my world. Buildings in the background seemed extremely familiar. I knew that area. I worked near that area. This human was from the same fucking city! I recognized it. Most of the buildings in the pictures didn't exist anymore.

"Yeah, that's where I come from," Brian said, standing next to me looking at the picture I was looking at. It was a much younger him with a much younger Rainbow Dash.

"Looks... dreary." Dreary? Seriously?

"It is," Brian said, and turned to me, "The name's Brian. Brian Dash."

"Hello, Brian. I don't know my real name, but I've been dubbed Forest."

"Forest, eh? Not a bad name."

I agree. "A certain pink pony thought of it."

"You mean Pinkie Pie?"

I nodded.

"You don't have to listen to her, if you don't like it..."

"No, no. It's perfectly fine. I think it suits me, actually." I said, I didn't really want to get renamed, I liked Forest.

"Forest, we should go. The doctor is probably waiting for us." Sweetie Belle said from the door.

"Right. Well, nice to meet you, Brian, Rainbow Dash." I said, and walked out.

"Sure. Yeah. Catch you later." Rainbow Dash said, "Oh, did Pinkie throw a party for you yet?"

"I got a cake and exploding musical boxes full of confetti."

"No, you've yet to experience Pinkie's welcome to Ponyville parties. All she gave you was a Welcome to Ponyville welcome." Rainbow grinned, "You'll see what I mean. Everypony's going to be there."

I sighed, "Well, then. I can't wait. You guys will be there?"

The both of them nodded.

"Well then, will I get to meet everybody there?" I asked.

Brian looked at me, "Yes, you will."

Good. Maybe I can find someone to help me win my bet there. "Well, then, until that time." I walked out.

As I turned around to close the door, I saw Brian staring right at me in a very peculiar manner. Thinking nothing of it, I closed the door gently, and followed Sweetie Belle back to the hospital.

"Forest, I've got to go meet my friends. You don't mind if I..." Sweetie Belle said, at the bottom of the stairs to the hospital entrance.

"Not at all, I think I can manage from here." I said. Bitch, you going to ditch me?

"Okay, I'll see you later!" And she ran off before I could change my mind. Couldn't blame her. I'd do the same thing if I were in her shoes. After all, who wanted to hang around some strange person - Pony - you've just met?

Walking inside, I found the nurse I had talked to earlier and she told me to sit and wait. After a few minutes of waiting - the Healthcare system in Pony-land was the best I've ever seen - the doctor guided me to his office. He looked at me, prodded my head, and did doctor-like shit before concluding that I was perfectly healthy. There was nothing wrong with me, and he just recommended that I hang around until my memory returns. Better to stay here in Ponyville than go gallivanting around Equestria, what if someone came looking for me?

"I doubt anyone would look for me." I muttered to myself, "How long would it take for my memories to return?"

"Depends. Can take a day. A month. A year. You're going to have to be patient. You're lucky you're able to function normally, though." The Doctor got up, "I'm going to prescribe you some vitamins. It might help."

"Great!" Vitamins. Oh joy! "But, I don't have money, how can I pay?" I asked.

"Pay us next time." The doctor grinned, and then led me to the pharmacy.

"Well, wow." I said standing outside. I was impressed. They were actually trusting me completely. Fools!

I turned to look at the clock. It was late in the afternoon now.

With no plans, I started wondering around mindlessly looking at the stores. A part of me wanted to go back to my room, but I could not afford to waste even a day! I needed to make the most of the time I had, otherwise I'd regret it later. And it was imperative I understood this creatures in more detail. It was then I saw a large signboard with an open book on it. I walked over and knocked on the door.

"Yes?" I looked up and saw a purple lizard-like creature. I gasped, and backed off falling on my rear. What the fuck was it? He was eye-level with me!

"Spike? Who is it?" Came another voice from inside.

"I don't know. No-pony I know."

A purple Unicorn peered past the creature.

The creature was tall and if I didn't know better I would say that he was a Dragon. Oh wait, I didn't know better, so he probably really was a Dragon. But if the Ponies seemed comfortable around him, then I had to force myself to do the same.

"Hi," I said, standing up, "Sorry, just... never seen something quite like you before."

"I'm a Dragon." Spike said nonchalantly.

I'm glad I reserved my judgement... like I'm glad I'm in this fucking mess in the first place. "Ah. I see. Never seen a Dragon before."

"You haven't?" Spike asked, "Not one?"

"Well..." Damn it, learn to keep your mouth shut, stupid mouth! I cursed myself, "I have amnesia."

"Oh, you're that Stallion that Zecora found in the forest." The purple Pony said, "Welcome to Ponyville. My name is Twilight Sparkle."

"And I'm Spike!"

"Well, I can't remember my name, but Forest is the name I am going by thanks to Pinkie - and you're friends with her too, right?" I asked already knowing the answer.

"Pinkie is friends with everyone," Spike said, shrugging and rolling his eyes, "No-one can help it."

"I think I know what you mean."

"Forest. I think the name strangely suits you." Twilight said looking at me, I grinned nervously in response, "So, what brings you to the Library?"

I fuckin' knew it! I knew that this was the library. "Ah, well, you see, I can't remember who I am, or what I do, so I was thinking on taking out a few books to help me get to know... everything?"

"Like what?" Twilight asked, her eyes seemed wider than before, "I have books about anything you could think of."

"Well, I guess you could say I'm interested in the history of the land, and perhaps customs of the people? What else to try and job my memory, help remind me... of anything, really." Why had I not thought of this before! This was a great way in learning almost everything I could ever want to know about these Ponies, "Also, a book about... maybe... friendship?"

That made Twilight stop, "About friendship? What do you mean?"

Shit... "I mean... well..." I had to think of something! Anything, "How about a book about how to make friends?"

That seemed like an acceptable answer to her and she nodded, "Yeah, we have a few books like that."

As soon as she said that, her horn glowed a purple glow and several books floated towards me. The placed themselves on a table to my right, and I looked over them. How do I turn the pages? "Um... I must have hit my head harder than I thought... I can't turn the page..."

"Use your hoof, silly," Twilight said.

I did as she said, and I found that, although a little difficult, I could do it. I read the titles of the books, which were conveniently written in English; Equestria: An Abridged History, A Pony's Guide to Society, and How to Make Friends and Attract Ponies. The last one seemed a little familiar to me, I was sure I've heard it before - or something similar to it.

"Thanks, Miss Sparkle," I said.

Spike snorted back a laugh.

"You can call me Twilight, Forest."

"Thanks, Twilight. I appreciate it."

"Miss Sparkle," Spike snorted again. He laughed to himself.

"Ignore him. Teenagers." Twilight said, "He was less of a nuisance when he was a baby."

"Ah." I had no idea what she was on about. Was she saying that Spike was a teenager now? "Can I borrow these, I will bring them back when I'm done with them."

She nodded, "Of course. This is a library, after all. Just bring them back if you decide you want to leave town. Do you need a bag?" Using her horn, she lifted the three books off the table, folded them, and then placed them in a bag. This wasn't a saddle bag, so I held it in my mouth.

"Thanks," I mumbled, "I'll bring them back soon."

Making my way back towards my hotel, I heard a voice from behind me.

"Forest," I turned and to my horror, it was Pinkie.

Shit! "Hi, Pinkie. How's it going?"

"Forest, I tried to get a party in your hotel, but the lady at the desk said that I can't because she said that the hotel was for guests only and that I couldn't have your party there because its not fair to the guests to have your party without inviting everyone but then I said that I could invite everyone but she said that I it was not happening at the hotel because some of the guests did not want loud music and a party there when they need to sleep and rest up, so I've moved your party to the city hall instead!" She said really fast, really loud, really close.

"Aw." I said, backing up a bit, "That's a shame." I had no idea what she said. Something about not being able to have my party at the place where I'm staying at. I felt relieved. No party. I hated parties. Parties made me uncomfortable.

"I know, right? Anyway, come with me."

Not that I had a choice, she pushed me in the opposite direction from my hotel, and towards the large circular building.

"Okay, okay!" I shouted, "I'll walk." The bag of books still dangling from my mouth.

There was no point, because Pinkie has pushed me right into a building. As promised, or rather as threatened, this was her party she was throwing for me. There were ponies there from all over Ponyville here. Standing stupidly to one side, I waited for Pinkie Pie to introduce me to everyone. They all seemed to have the strangest of names. Most of them sympathized with me about my recent loss of memory, while others just nodded and went off to enjoy themselves.

After almost an hour of greeting Ponies, I saw a few familiar faces. Rather, familiar colors. Orange was there, and was white and pink. But not Zecora, she had probably gone back to the Everfree Forest by that point.

Everyone was dancing and singing, and being noisy and bouncy. I wanted to get away from there so badly, yet I knew that this was the best way to meet and befriend these creatures, so I stayed.

"So, Forest, did you talk to the doctor?" Rarity asked.

I nodded, "He gave me some pills... crap!" I exclaimed, Where did I leave them? I said in my head.

Rarity looked at me with a frown.

"Forest, I believe you left these at the library," Twilight said, she had just arrived with Spike, and used her magic and placed the pills in my bag, which was still dangling from my mouth.

"Hello Rarity," Spike said shyly.

Rarity smiled, and batted her eyelashes, "Hello, Spike."

A Dragon and a Pony? Was that even possible? I looked over at Twilight, "Thank you for bringing it over. It's a relief."

"No problem. Would you like some cider?" Twilight asked.

"Sure. Why not."

She walked off and soon returned floating four mugs from the cider table with her magic. The mugs were designed perfectly for Ponies. Using my hoof, I could actually hold it like I would if I had hands! It was simply amazing. I took a sip, and was instantly blown away. This was the most wonderful cider I have ever tasted in my entire life. It was sweet, but with a slight tang at the same time. The flavor filled up my nostrils and I enjoyed the scent of the brew from the apples, and you could feel the bite of the alcohol - yes, there was alcohol - in it. That surprised me.

"Forest! How are you liking you very special welcome to Ponyville party with everypony?" Pinkie screamed at my face.

Where did she come from? How was she able to do that? "Thank you, Pinkie. It's really nice. Loving this cider."

"Yeah, Applejack made it! She makes the best cider in all of Equestria," Pinkie grinned.

"Where is Applejack?" I asked.

"She says she'll come later if she can," Pinkie then bounded off.

"She ever run out of gas?" I asked.

"Gas?" Twilight asked.

"You know. Energy. Does she every run out of energy?"

Rarity laughed at that, "Pinkie never runs out of anything."

"Hello, everyone. Hey, Forest." Came the familiar drawl. Applejack was in the house!

"Hi, Applejack."

Behind her came a much larger Pony. He was about my height, "This is my big brother Big Macintosh. You'll be working with him tomorrow."

"Eeyup." Big Macintosh replied.

"I look forward to it," I said politely.

"Eeyup."

I narrowed my eyes, was he being serious?

"Where's Rainbow, Twi?"

"I don't know. Haven't seen her." Twlight replied to Applejack's question.

"Her father's getting on in his years. And Pinkie keeps throwing these celebrations. It's no wonder if he decides to skip a few." Spike said, and took another sip from his mug.

"Eeyup." Big Macintosh said.

Then I watched them. It was clear that these people were all close friends, and it was a very tightly knit group. It might have been the cider, but I started feeling uncomfortable and slowly backed away. Perhaps it was time to retire for the night, and get an early start in the morning.

As I turned to go, Brian and his daughter, the rainbow haired Pegasus appeared at the door.

"Hi, Forest."

"Hello. I'm about to go home. I feel... tired." That was true. I did.

"Well, sorry we arrived so late." Rainbow Dash said.

"Oh no. From what I've heard, Pinkie throws these kinds of things all the time. I would have understood if you hadn't come, but since you're here, try the Cider, it's simply amaz..." Rainbow Dash was gone before I could finish the statement, a rainbow blur straight to the cider table.

Brian stood there and looked at me. I looked back at him, but neither of us had anything to say, so I nodded and walked past him.

"How's the weather back on Earth?" He said just as I walked next to him.

How the fuck? No! There was no way he could have found out. I turned around, confused, "What?"

"How's the weather back home, I said." Brian asked again.

"I don't remember where I'm from..."

"I don't believe you. I think you know very well where you're from. I don't know how you're here, and I don't know why, but if..."

Fucking hell! I screamed in my head. He was guessing. He was guessing! How did he fucking guess? I needed to end this train of thought, and now.

"Look, Brian. I'm tired, and I've been overwhelmed by the events of today. I wake up in the middle of a forest I know nothing of, remembering no one and nothing, escaping the teeth of a Timberwolf, and then trying to find a place to stay, let along trying to evade Pinkie... I don't understand what you're talking about, or what you're implying? All I want to do is find the answers I seek, and then go home." I said aloud, and turned away, I deserve a fuckin' Oscar for that performance.

Brian stared at me for a moment, "Fine. But I'm keeping my eye on you."

"You can keep two for all I care. If you happen to discover something about me, then please let me know. I might be able to recall who I used to be."

Turning, I left the party, my heart only started beating when I got back to my room and safely locked the door. Closing the windows, and drawing the curtains, and double-checked to ensure that everything was 'Pinkie-proof' hoping that she was still going crazy at the party as I took out the laptop.

At once the Changeling's face appeared.

"How?" I asked instantly, "How did Brian know?"

"It was what you said in his house. You said 'anybody'. No one uses anybody there. It's anypony." The Changeling grinned, "You nearly lost on your first day. And now that the seeds of doubt have been planted, you can be sure that it isn't going to be easy from now on."

I cursed myself. How could I make such a stupid mistake!

"Just hope that he doesn't approach Celestia with this concern. It could be very bad for you."

"Well, shit. Anyway, I've got a job tomorrow, so if you excuse me, I'm going to sleep."

"Goodnight. Oh, and Forest..." I looked up at the screen, "Don't be late."

I slammed the monitor down. Hard.

Comments

[Ninjuto]

Yay first. Good job by the way. You can expect me to be a regular commenter

[deathtap]

525275

Thanks for the compliment. I appreciate it.

There's a tough crowd on here, though. Maybe I made a mistake listing it as 'mature' when I started. Considering some of the other stories I've read that are rated teen, this story is pretty tame... so far.

[EpicBG]

Faved! Consider me as yet another person interested. I really look forward to seeing where this story goes.

[deathtap]

529769

Thanks! I'll endeavor to have a chapter up as soon as possible.

[Atomic Vortex]

I shall now do a marathon to catch up! No more comments until I do.

[Anubis Nox]

Funny Shit here

[SwordBearer91]

I have a feeling that this story is gonna be epic

[Shadow Morph]

i've been looking for a non-brony in equestria fan fiction.
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/dis-gon-b-gud.gif

[Rainbow_Dashtruction]

please reply to me, but does Sweetie Belle and Scoots find their marks in the previous fics? or are you just using that to show time has progressed? Soz, don't wanna read sequels to MLD, didn't even like MLD, so they can fuck right the hell off.

[Rainbow_Dashtruction]

857211
In my fic, James is supposed to be a non brony...sure he is with his brony friend and quickly stops giving a shit about the ponies, also ends up shipping with Rainbow (for like 2 chapters, and it is implied that that is off screen) But he is still an asshole damit (of course personality is based off me)

Thing is, writing a non brony in to the fan fiction has problems, as it requires you to constantly write a person who wishes to constantly avoid ponies. This is not easy as you have to find constant reasons to why he does not avoid them, this guy hit the nail in this fic, but it ain't easy.

[Rainbow_Dashtruction]

Yep, thanks to this fic, the first thing I do in my fan fics sequel is shoot Brian in the head with a 44' Magnum.

[deathtap]

930683 Totally missed this. Yes, just time progression. It's 10 years later...

[ArthurPearson]

"It has become a habit of mine, you do not approve of rhyme?"
"It's not that, I'm just impressed you're able to do it every single time..."

He's a poet, and unaware of the fact.

[BrokenSpaceBar]

Prancing Pony

Why do I see this reference wherever I go?

[EverfreeSparkle]

I tried to read this, but after finishing this chapter, this story is not for me.

[Not FBI]

2814171
Probably just cos Lord of the Rings is well known and the inn happens to be called the Prancing Pony, so you know, it's got pony in it. Not the most unlikely connection I suppose.

[Old Diggy]

"It was what you said in his house. You said 'anybody'. No one uses anybody there. It's anypony."

If that's the case you might want to go back and check. I've seen a couple of anybody/anyone's, one of them being from Rarity. Also I still find ponies racist in that way, finding it weird to say anything other than anypony as if everybodies a pony.

[Derpytakesovertheworld]

Thank Celistia for someone getting the Forest Gump side of this.
RUN, Forest, RUNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

[BlackPowder]

Sorry, too much asshole-ary for me. Still, moustache for effort.

[batran]

Boy was I wrong when I thought this is a good old human in equestria story.

Another human? As RD's dad? Now am I missing something or that is just random. Even when it has characters from other stories, that is too wierd

[-headshot123-]

So, I did the only thing I could think of. I laughed. Hard. As if insanity had taken me. What else could I do? In my mind I thought, This was it! I've been in this strange land for no more than a few hours, and I'm already dead.

[Witchery]

Damn, nearly the ten year anniversary of this.