The Problem With Magic

by deathtap

Day 3: Forest's Home

Waking up, I noticed that it was still dark outside. The laptop was in front of my face, closed tightly. Gingerly, I pried it open and saw the Changeling pottering about in what looked like a kitchen. It seemed that she noticed me and turned around, "Good morning."

I blinked my eyes open, and looked at the time. Just past four. "Mmmrning." I grumbled.

"You need a watch or something. You can't keep using the laptop to check the time."

"Do they even have wristwatches in this world?" I asked sitting up.

Tutela merely shrugged, "I'm a Changeling, remember? I never really interacted with other Ponies from that world, only with my kind, and we never had watches. We never even had clocks. Not that we needed it. We just... were. When there was food, we ate. When there was places to go, we went. We didn't really 'think' about it, so we never really 'thought' about time in general. To be honest, it took me a while to understand the concept."

"The more I learn about Changelings, the more I compare them to the Zerg," I muttered out loud.

"The what?"

"Never mind," I pulled myself out of bed, and went to the bathroom. Turning to the little stall, I turned on the shower. After setting the temperature just right, I soaked myself in the water. My first shower since I got here. I saw a huge plastic soap dispenser in the corner with an oversized pump lever. Pushing it, I saw a large glob of light-blue substance ooze out. I caught it in my hoof, then rubbed it on my body. Shampoo? Soap? Whatever it was, it made the skin under my fur feel cool, and a strong minty smell filled the bathroom. It was amazing! One handful - or hoofful - was enough to lather my entire body up. Then next to the extra large soap dispenser was another small dispenser with green liquid in it. I pushed on that, and a thicker goop came out. Instinctively I put that on my mane, and tail - this was shampoo, and it smelled wonderful. The scent was completely unique! It was not fruity, nor minty, but had a very pleasant odor. I couldn't tell if it was floral, but it seemed to be. Rinsing myself off, I reached for a towel and dried myself completely.

"That was great! I feel so refreshed!" I said, looking at Tutela, who was looking away from me. Were her cheeks pink? Was she blushing? Did she spy on me in the shower? "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," She said rolling her eyes, "Why are you leaving so early in the morning? You don't have to check out for a while."

"It's not that, it's... well, to be honest, I don't feel comfortable with staying here with that receptionist. I feel as if she might sneak into my room and stab me when I least expect it."

"Nothing I can help you with there. If you die in that world... you stay dead," Tutela leaned forward towards the screen, "So, don't die. If you do, neither of us win. Unless you prefer being dead than spending eternity with me."

"No. No. Life is much more appealing than death." It was. That wasn't a lie. I was in no way going to kill myself, even if it meant staying with the Changeling and her sharp pointy fangs.

Slipping the laptop into my duffel-bag, the only two possessions I had, I closed the door to my hotel room for the last time. Walking down to the reception, I took a deep breath and gulped. This was it.

"Good morn-"

"Five bits. Pay it and get out." She barked, cutting me off.

Without opening my mouth - for talking, I had to use my mouth to pull out the coin-purse that Applejack gave to me - I dumped five coins on the desk. She slammed her hoof as the last coin touched the table, which scared the daylights out of me, and pulled the coins towards her over the desk.

And that concluded our business. With my eyes wide open, I turned and headed for the door, but something bothered me. Something made my blood boil, my anger rage. Something inside me just wanted to... express itself, and I wasn't sure why, and I wasn't sure what was making me feel this way, but I just had to say something. Anything! I had to. I just had to.

"You know why everybo - pony, why everypony likes Pinkie and not you?" I asked turning around, "It's because she's kind, friendly, open, and gentle. She would never wish harm on anyone, and she only wishes the best even to you. I don't care why you hate her. I don't really see a reason apart from the fact that everyone likes her more than you, and trust me, even as new as I am I can see that, and for some obscure reason you can't stand that. You can't stand the fact that Pinkie has more friends than you! You can't stand that Pinkie is better than you! And there's no-pony to blame but yourself and that disgusting attitude of yours."

Then I stormed out the door without turning back. I heard a loud growl from behind me as the door closed, but I felt really good. Being a raging asshole isn't something new to me, but something about being an asshole to the receptionist just felt... right. I mean, it felt good. Usually after an episode of 'assholiness' (as I like to call it) I feel somewhat dirty, but not this time.

Walking past Sugarcube Corner, I saw the lights on in the kitchen. Walking over to the loading bay around back, I noticed that cart from yesterday was still parked where I had left it. Despite dragging it all over the place, I couldn't help but smile. I really had fun, except for the part where Brian attacked me again. That wasn't so fun.

Walking up the steps then to the rear entrance, I knocked gently on the open door.

"Hello?" I said, not too loudly, aware that there were children in this household. I can stand babies, but crying babies were a whole new ballgame.

Mr. Cake poked his head around the corner, "Oh, hello, Forest. Pinkie Pie isn't awake yet..."

"Oh, no. I just checked out and..." I started.

"You're leaving Ponyville already? But, you've only just got here..." Mr. Cake interrupted me.

"No, no. I checked out of the hotel. I... was essentially thrown out by the receptionist." I confessed. Mr. Cake was a real easy guy to talk to, "I'm currently homeless. The Apples have got a place for me for now."

"The Apples? I assume you mean Applejack and her brood."

"Yes, sir." I replied.

"Call me, Carrot."

"If you don't mind, sir, I'd rather not. Calling you 'Carrot' doesn't seem... appropriate." It sounded too much like calling him 'darling'.

"Well, suit yourself."

Just then Mrs. Cake walked in.

"Oh, good morning, Forest," She sang, "Pinkie is still asleep. Do you want me to wake her?"

"Oh no. Please don't. I just stopped by for a quick visit."

"Seems that Crystal has evicted him from her hotel." Mr. Cake replied.

"Crystal?" I asked.

"Oh yes, Cyan Crystal. She's a strange Pony, that one. She's fairly new to Ponyville, came here about four years ago. She set up that hotel across the road. She's... nice - usually, but sometimes..." He didn't continue. He didn't need to.

"My husband is a good man, but sometimes I think Pinkie Pie's lack of common sense rubs off on him. What he means to say is that Cyan Crystal is a mean, mean Pony, who seems to have a grudge against Pinkie and takes it out on everyone else." Mrs. Cake put in.

"I have common sense," Mr. Cake pouted.

Mrs. Cake ignored him, "Pinkie Pie was sick when Crystal first came, and so Pinkie never threw her one of her 'Welcome to Ponyville' parties. By the time Pinkie got better, everyone already knew Crystal - her attitude is infamous here in Ponyville, and she was no longer new. Still, Pinkie did offer to throw a party, but Crystal seemed to get angry at the thought and really was mean to poor Pinkie."

"I rarely see Pinkie cry, but I'll never forget how sad she was that day," Mr. Cake interrupted, "Pinkie only returned to her normal self after a few days, and in Pinkie's timescale, that's a long time. Nowadays Pinkie avoids Crystal as much as possible. Whenever she sees her Pinkie usually hides, but I think Crystal shot herself in the foot. By breaking Pinkie's heart that way and her mean attitude have completely isolated her from the rest of Ponyville. Now, nopony wants to be her friend. But you know something, I can't tell if she cares or not."

"I... see..." Oh, now I felt just terrible. Nah. She still deserved the verbal barrage I fired at her, "So, she's just a bad per-pony! A bad pony." I caught myself just in time. I nearly said 'person', "Just because she didn't get a party?"

This time Mr. Cake continued, "I doubt it's that simple. She goes through these mood swings. Sometimes she's normal and treats you indifferently. But other times she talks down to you, as if you were the lowest thing living on this planet, while other times she's downright rude and mean. But if you have anything to do with Pinkie she will become excessively cruel. Even after learning that Pinkie was everypony's friend in Ponyville... I have no idea what's going on in that head of hers, but we have a long standing order with her, so we deliver our freshly baked goods - even though she knows that Pinkie lives with us. She only comes here to pay for the next months supply of baked goods."

"I can understand why." I said, smiling, "Best in Equestria, I'm told. And I believe it."

Mr. Cake beamed at that, grinning widely.

Mrs. Cake was not done though, "About two weeks ago Cheerilee and her got into a big fight over at the café. It got so bad that others had to intervene. Now, for a small town like Ponyville, that's something that's just not done. I mean, if Crystal wants to live peacefully here she is ruining all her chances at that. She's making it very hard for anypony to be friends with her and quite frankly I don't think she cares."

"Cheerily?" I asked.

"Cheerilee is the teacher at the local school for the younger grades. My children will be in her class in two years." Mrs. Cake explained.

"Ah. Cheerilee," My nose suddenly filled up with the delicious scent of freshly baked goods. My mouth watered despite myself and I had to force myself to smile.

"Feeling peckish?" Mr. Cake asked, smiling, "Here, on the house."

He gave me a huge muffin! I gobbled it down eagerly. I did not eat dinner the last night, even after the work at the farm, and Pinkie's deliveries, I was totally worn out. I didn't realize just how hungry I was.

"Still hungry?" Mrs. Cake asked, and handed me another huge muffin, "Also on the house."

She did not need to tell me twice, and after demolishing the second one, they gave me a cup of chocolate and coffee mix that put anything on Earth to shame. The way the chocolate and coffee melded into one another, and there was a slightly pleasant bitter bite at the back where it lessened the overpowering sugar-like sweetness. There were no words to describe the sensations on my tongue.

"I see you like our coco-coffee mix. It's a secret recipe that Pinkie came up with." Mr. Cake said, leaning against a giant thermos with the magical liquid inside, "If you stick around, maybe you can help with the morning rush. Work off those two muffins."

Thinking about it, I nodded, "Okay, on the condition that I get another cup of that deliciousness. It's absolutely stunning, I haven't had coffee this good..."

"Are you remembering something?" Mrs. Cake asked, her face drawing closer to mine.

Shit! "That's strange... yes. I am. I've never tasted anything this wonderful before!" I took another long pull from the cup.

"Well, that only proves that you're not from Ponyville," Mr. Cake frowned, "And we already knew that."

"Thank you for trying to help me remember. As for helping, sure. I don't have anything else planned for the day. It would be a pleasure." That wasn't a lie.

I hated to admit it, but I really liked the Cakes. They were warm, caring, open. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not new to these kind of sentiments, but back on Earth I could always feel that arm out stretched, keeping me at a distance. This was something I grew comfortable with over the years. But I was completely involved in these peoples - Ponies, lives. Now, I might be fairly clueless when it comes to social cues, but I could tell quite clearly that I was completely welcome here.

The first task I was given was to mop the front. Mrs. Cake showed me how it was done. Now, I don't really have to be told that handling a mop with ones mouth isn't the most hygienic thing to do, so I tried to stand up on my hind legs and use my forehooves instead. After some practice, it was actually easy. Usually after mopping - and yes, I've done my share of it, my lower back would start to ache. But due to my 'natural' build from being a pony, my back was already bent in half, so no lower back ache!

It didn't take me long to finish, by which time Mr. and Mrs. Cake were putting a bunch of baked goodness on display across their numerous counters. Mrs. Cake then walked back into the kitchen once she and Mr. Cake agreed where the pastries went, the cakes were presented, and the breads put into a large basket next to the cashier's desk. The smell in the room was intoxicating. Who knew that I would be such a fan? A part of me blamed my sudden shift in biology - Ponies are vegetarian, at least I thought they were. Ponies eating meat was somewhat a bit of a stretch, even for me.

"Okay, Forest. Can you unlock the front door. There's a couple signs I want you to put outside as well, they're right over there," Mr. Cake pointed to two signs next to one another, leaning against the wall near the door. On it had some words in English (yes, English), but on others it had a different, unfamiliar writing. It wasn't anything I've ever seen before.

Taking the signs out, opened them out and placed them near the entrance.

"Hello, Forest," A voice said from behind me.

I jumped, and turned to see Rarity. "Oh, hello Rarity. You scared the... daylights... out of me." I was going to say 'shit'.

She gave me a coy smile, "You really like Pinkie, don't you?"

The suddenness of the question took me aback, "Wha-?"

"Oh, don't hide it. I know." And with that, she walked past me, and into the shop. I stared after her a few moments wondering what she meant by 'know'. Whatever.

When the last of the signs was visible, I turned and walked into the store. There were quite a few more Ponies in here than before, and all of them turned to me as soon as I walked in. A few of them giggled, and walked past me - nobody I knew. Damn it! It's no-Pony! I made a mental note in my head. Was not going to get caught out on that again.

As I approached the Cakes, Rarity was there.

"Well, look at the time," She said.

"Where?" I replied, keenly interested. Did she have a watch? Where would I get one?

"I have to go. It was nice talking to you, and remember what I said." She said to the Cakes.

The Cakes grinned and nodded in response.

As Rarity turned to go, she looked at me. Those eyes piercing mine. It was not scary, but it did make me feel a little naked, like she knew something. Then she smiled, "See you around, Forest. Do come visit sometime. Don't be a stranger."

Despite myself, I laughed nervously, "Okay?"

"Toodles." She half trotted, half skipped out of the store.

I turned to the Cakes, "What was that all about?"

Mr. Cake opened his mouth to talk, but I heard a loud 'stomp' and his face winced in pain. Obviously he was going to tell me something, but Mrs. Cake stopped him.

"Never you mind, Forest. As promised, another cup of our magical brew." She said instead, and handed me the cup.

Savoring this one, I took it to the far corner so as not to be in the way. Looking at the cakes, I was fascinated by the craft. Back on Earth, breads were usually plain, but here they put a lot of art into their work. The cakes were overly ordained with many types of decorations. Some were completely over the top, others were tastefully done, but each was indeed the work of someone who loved to bake. Truly and honestly loved to bake. Not someone who thinks they can bake, and then sucks at the task.

As I finished my last sip, I turned back to the Cakes. They were talking with Twilight. When did she arrive? As I turned around, they all just grinned at me at the same time. The action was somewhat comical, as I walked over and placed the empty mug on the counter. "Good morning, Twilight. I didn't see you come in. Did I do something funny?"

"No," She said trying to act as nonchalant as possible. She was a bad liar. "Oh gosh! Look at the time!"

Again that line! Where was everyone seeing this time? This time I wasn't letting it get away. I needed to know!

"Where is the time?" I said, perhaps a little too roughly.

"The clock over there, Forest." Twilight pointed at a clock behind the Cakes near the ceiling. It read ten past eight. I've been hanging around here for four hours?

"I think I ought to be going," I said, staring at the clock, "Thanks for the food and coffee, it was delicious."

"Come back again soon, Forest." Mrs. Cake said somewhat coyly.

I furrowed my brow, why was everyone suddenly acting strange? Did Rarity tell them something? Come to think of it, what was Rarity doing up and about that early in the morning? I shoved the thought aside, I had other things to take care of.

As I approached Sweet Apple Acres Applejack spotted me and waved as I headed for the barn. I turned direction towards the field and walked towards her.

"Hello, Forest." She said when I got close enough.

"Hello. I'm going to cut right to the chase. About that clubhouse..." I grinned.

"Well, it's funny you should say that, 'cause yesterday Applebloom and I went over to take a gander at it. Well, I'm gonna be completely honest with you. It isn't exactly in livable standards, the roof's got holes, the wall's are barely standin', the door's missin', and there's parts of the floor completely gone. I swear it was fine a month ago."

Inside I died a little.

"But, 'cause of yer nifty contraption, Big Mac, Applebloom and I suddenly have lot's of free time! So, we were dicussin' and we've decided to help rebuild the Cutie Mark Crusader Clubhouse, and turn it into Forest's..."

"Fortress?" Big Mac suggested.

"Forest's Fortress... it does have a certain ring to it." Applejack said through gritted teeth. It was obvious that she didn't like it at all.

"What about Forest's Floating Fortress?" Applebloom piped in, "After all it's up in a tree!"

"I dunno... that's..." Applejack couldn't find the words.

"How about 'Home'?" I said after a moment.

The two turned and looked at me.

"Forest's Home," Applejack repeated it out loud to herself, "Y'know. I like it. It's simple. It's rustic. And well, it's homey. Good one, Forest."

"Bor-ring," Applebloom voiced, but eventually accented that since she couldn't come up with anything better, and neither did her nearly-silent bigger brother - and to be honest, I wasn't expecting anything from him.

After looking around the clubhouse to assess how much damage there really was, and to get an estimate on how many pieces of wood and stuff was required, the four of us headed back towards the house. Judging by the height of the sun, it was close to noon, and I was getting hungry despite the generous breakfast the Cakes let me eat.

As we approached the barn I spotted an old, light green pony placing some bowls of food on a table outside. I instantly knew who it was.

"Ma'am," I said respectfully bowing my head - I've seen enough Western movies. If I had a cowboy hat on like Applejack's I would've tipped the brim. Anyone who could make apple juice taste as good as it did yesterday deserved respect, and considering how old she was... well, I was simply amazed.

"My, my. Who's this young Stallion here?" She crowed, her eyes looking on my face through these tiny glasses, "Are you Applejack's special somepony? She's a nice young mare, she is. Tough cookie to boot."

"Granny!" Applejack exclaimed, "Forest here's that feller I was tellin' you about. He's gonna rent the ol' Clubhouse. Remember?"

"Special somepony?" I muttered to myself not understanding what she meant.

"Yes, yes. But why would ye be offerin' it unless he be somepony special?" Granny replied, a twinkle in her eye.

Now I knew what she meant. Despite my embarrassment, I had to give it to the old gal. She had a very good point. Why would they offer it to me unless they thought I was someone trustworthy.

"Because he helped make that new cart-apple-catcher-thingy."

"Harvester," I corrected her.

"Harvester! Thank you, Forest. Because he built the harvester, and we were just bein' nice and neighborly!" Applejack replied.

"Okay, don't get your freckles all in a huffle. I was just teasin'."

Huffle?

Even Big Mac was laughing behind Applejack, who received a kick. That did little to stop the guy from continuing laughing, louder than before. Funny that this is the most I've ever heard coming from his mouth so far. Applebloom was giggling away as well, and even I wasn't immune to it. I smiled to myself and watched this family, a family which I never had, having fun with one another. Some part of me felt uncomfortable. I didn't belong here, not with these good people. People like me belonged to another genre - sorry, Ponies like me. Have to stop getting the two confused. There are no people in Equestria, except one.

"Have a seat there, Forest." Applejack said, pointing to the picnic bench.

I sat down, and Applebloom sat on my left, Granny Smith sat on my right at the head of the table on her own special chair. Opposite me sat Applejack, and next to her sat Big Macintosh. I felt somewhat sheepish sitting at that table, again I felt so out of place that it just didn't feel right.

"Relax, Forest. Granny ain't gonna eatcha," Applebloom said, laughing.

She was right, what was I freaking out for?

My eyes drifted to the food in front of me. Ever since I got to Equestria, all it seemed like was me eating something fantastic or drinking something spectacular. Everything just tasted so much better, fresher and purer than anything before. Honestly, that was not saying much as before my diet revolved around eating fast-food and ready-made meals heated in a microwave that I found in a dump. It's been years since I've sat down and had a meal with anyone. No, that's wrong. I've never sat down like this. Ever.

"Forest? Are you okay?" Applejack said, looking at me with concern.

"Yes. Why?"

"You're... you're cryin'."

I was taken aback, "Am I?" I felt the area under my left eye with my left hoof, and indeed, there were tears there, "That is strange. I hadn't noticed them."

"Are you okay?" Applebloom asked as well.

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine. I just... well, I don't know. It's just..." Words were failing me, what was going on with me? "It's just it's been so long since I've felt like this. It's... strange, but in a good way."

Applejack looked at the others around the table, and then smiled gently at me, "A fond memory?"

Fond memories, my ass! This is the happiest I've been in my miserable life! "More like feelings."

"Well, feelin's sometimes can trigger memries," Granny Smith replied, her voice was gentler, "Good ones, and the bad. Jest be sure you remember the meaning behind those feelin's, and you'll do jest fine."

In some strange way, she made sense, "Sure thing, Granny."

"Oh my! Just like that you're callin' me Granny! Are yer sure yer not Applejack's special..."

"Granny!" Applejack interrupted.

Applebloom and Big Mac were literally rolling over themselves in laughter.

I smiled, and laughed a little as well. Even though I was part of the brunt of the joke, I knew that she meant nothing by it, "No, Granny Smith. I am very grateful for this... invitation."

She smiled at that, and leaned over the food, and took a generous dollop of green liquid into a ladle and dumped it into a bowl in front of me. Not really knowing the etiquette of eating, I paused waiting for the others to start first, but their eyes were all on me.

Seriously? You guys want me to eat first, when I have no idea how Ponies eat soup in the first place? I asked in my head. There were spoons near the middle of the table, so I reached with my hoof for one and tried to pick it up, but it kept slipping. Seriously, why was it so difficult to pick these things up. Applebloom made a face, the kind one makes when you're trying not to laugh at someone when you're not supposed to. Big Mac looked away, but I could see his lips twitch as well. Even Applejack found my antics amusing.

I slammed the spoon down. To hell with it! And I picked up the bowl and drank from it straight.

Whatever it was, it was delicious. The warmth of the soup was perfect, it was enough to warm the pallette without burning the skin off my tongue. Definitely there was a tangy, apple flavor in it, much like that delicious juice from yesterday, but the thickness of the contents was a perfect fusion of texture and... no, the more I tried to describe it, the less majestic it was. Suffice to say, it was divine.

"Wow!" I exclaimed as I savored the last few drops.

"Now that's how you eat, Forest!" Applejack said, pointing her hoof at me, laughing.

We ate together for the next hour, telling jokes (Applejack's were terrible), they told me stories about the farm, their friends, their lives and adventures, places I ought to go and see, Ponies I should meet. They were really good Ponies, friendly and generous to a fault. I actually began to feel guilty that I'd been lying to them. But I had no choice. It wasn't as if I could tell them the truth anyway. If they found out, I was done for.

After we ate, Big Mac and I went down to the wood pile and loaded bits of scrap wood onto another cart. Applebloom helped, and she seemed to know which pieces of wood were needed even better than Big Mac. Now, I am not someone new to using tools, I've built my fair share of devices - usually dangerous ones, but I never really got to work with wood. So, considering how excited and authoritative Applebloom was, I let her take the lead. Then we took the tools form the tool shed and plodded over to the Clubhouse, where Applejack was moving some of the destroyed lumber and placing them onto another cart. How many carts did these Apples have?

"Forest, you make the ramp with Big Mac. Sis, can you cut these pieces of wood into rectangular shapes about this big," She put another piece of wood next to them, "I'll start on the floor."

Without question, we went about our assigned tasks. The ramp was easy to make, and thanks to Big Mac, we were done fairly quickly. Applebloom came over and started telling Big Mac to put in posts in certain areas. When I asked why, she told me it was to ensure structural integrity. Her words exactly.

With my job done, I walked over to Applejack, "Can I help you? Your sister is inspecting the ramp - so, I've got two hooves prepped and ready."

"Well, quick yer yakkin' and grab that saw over there," Applejack said, wiping her brow.

We started sawing the wood together talking about random things when the conversation drifted to the hotel, how my stay was, and inevitably the receptionist.

"I can't stand that Pony, Forest. She's a right mean ol'... well, I can't say. It ain't Marelike." Applejack said pausing her sawing.

I finished the rectangle I was working on and looked up, "Don't have to tell me. She evicted me."

"Well, if she hadn't evicted you, then you wouldn't been able to come and live here."

I blushed a little when she said that.

She realized what she said, "No-not that it matters, right? I mean... I'm sure you could've found another..."

"Thank you, Applejack." I said before she further embarrassed herself.

She smiled, "You're welcome, Forest."

"I think we ought to continue our work. We've attracted an audience," I gestured with my eyes towards the ramp where Big Mac and Applebloom were staring right at us.

Applejack must have given them a look, because they disappeared in the next moment.

Fixing the floor was quick and painless. Big Mac and I went under the clubhouse, while Applejack and Applebloom went inside; the two of them being lighter and less likely to fall through the rotting floor. Then we took out the bad planks by essentially ripping them out and throwing them into the 'waste-cart', and afterwards we angled the new bits of wood to replace the ones that were removed. In no time, the new floor was in.

"Would you like to come in and see your home from inside?" Applebloom asked.

No need to tell me twice. I walked in and looked around. It was small, but comfortable. The lack of utilities no longer mattered to me. Besides, the barn wasn't that far, only a thirty second job, or a two minute walk.

The walls were quickly completed. Each one of us took a wall and we raced to see who could replace the wall the fastest. There was no contest, as Applebloom destroyed us all, with Applejack coming in second and Big Mac coming in third. I brought up the rear. But it wasn't my fault. I had no idea how to use a hammer with hooves!

Last, but not least, was the roof. We all worked together on that. I was surprised that the roof didn't cave in, especially under Big Mac's massive weight. We took the rectangles that Applejack and I cut earlier nailed them down. It took longer, but that was because Applebloom kept telling me her misadventures with her friends when they were 'Blank Flanks', and were hunting for their Cutie Marks. Each was an instant classic.

After it was all done, we got off the roof and admired our work from the front. In one afternoon we managed to rebuild a decayed building into a livable one.

"Well, Forest. This is your new home. Do you like it?" Applejack asked.

"No." I replied with a serious face, then I turned to her and smiled, "I love it. Thank you."

Applebloom and Big Mac snorted in laughter, and Applejack shook her head and shoved me in the shoulder for telling such an awful joke.

We headed back towards the barn to return the tools to the right places, and the wood we didn't use to the lumber pile, and the rest of the scrap wood to the firewood pile. It was then that I saw a familiar pink Pony hopping towards the house.

"Hey, Pinky," Applejack said, as we reached the house.

Granny Smith and Pinkie had been chatting for a bit.

"Hi, Apple J.! I'm going to Fluttershy's house. You wanna come?"

"Well, sure. You don't mind if I go, do you, Forest?" Applejack asked looking back at me.

I understood she was being polite, since I was her guest, but seriously? In front of Granny Smith? She did not miss that comment and grinned at me.

"No, no. I'm not your guest anymore, remember? I'm your tenant, so please, don't let me hold you back." I replied.

"Hi, Forest." Pinky said, and zoomed over to me, "Did you find a new place to live?"

"Yes. We just finished building it."

"Oh yeah! The old Clubhouse." She went on, but I didn't understand a word she was saying bouncing around and zipping to and fro the way she does.

Eventually the two Mares were on their way. I watched them go for a bit, then turned to Big Mac and Applebloom.

"I've got some chores left." Big Mac stated, and lumbered off in his own pace.

Granny Smith said something about feeling tired and cold and that she had to get something, and she headed back to her home. Now it was just Applebloom and me.

"You know, you forgot about me yesterday." Applebloom said looking up at me.

"Really?"

"I asked if you wanted to go out and find our Cutie Marks, and you said you'd help."

"Oh?" Then it dawned on me. She had asked me while I was cleaning windows yesterday! But the fear from talking and washing the windows made me forget. After all, that was the second day I had hooves, and although I've sort of grown accustomed to having these new limbs, it was still scary. "Oh! I completely forgot. I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay. You want to start looking now?"

"Applebloom... are you sure you don't know what your talent is?" I asked.

"No." She sulked.

Seriously? You practically rebuilt the Clubhouse alone. "Ah. I see. Well, I'm not sure how it works. What do you do? I mean, do you just do something and you get your Cutie Mark? Who puts it there for you?"

"No, silly. Nopony puts a Cutie Mark on you. You just... get it. When you find something that's right for you, your Cutie Mark will just appear!"

I looked at her skeptically.

She groaned, "Well, when Scootaloo got hers, she was racin' Rainbow Dash! You should have seen 'em. Rainbow leadin' but Scootaloo right on her tail! They zoomed through the air," She jumped up high, "Came racin' down, then spun around..." I watched her describe her friend's movements, trying to picture it in my head. She made it sound like a dogfight between two top aces, "She was leadin' at one point! It was soooooooo exciting! But, Rainbow Dash roared past her in the last stretch, and Scootaloo lost. After the race when she took off the racing suit we saw that her Cutie Mark had appeared."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"Magic?"

"Magic."

"Makes sense," No, it doesn't! "How long ago?" I asked.

"Not that long."

"And Sweetie Belle?"

"Oh, she got hers recently. Every year our school holds a talent show. This time our class decided to do a musical together, and Sweetie was volunteered to write the music and lyrics by Scootaloo and me. But during the the main show, our lead singer got sick and couldn't come. Nopony could cover, except Sweetie. It took some convincin', but when she sang..." Applebloom looked over to me, "We should go see her show tomorrow! She's doing an Opera!"

"That sounds really fun!" I replied sarcastically.

Applebloom didn't miss it. She was a lot sharper than her sister, "I used to hate Operas too. Borin' and I can't understand nothin' they sing about. But when Sweetie Belle sings... we're going! That's final!"

I pretended to cower in fear, raising my hooves above my head, and flinching, "Okay, boss!"

Applebloom giggled at my antics.

"Hey, you young'uns. Here's some warm cider for the both of yer. The one on the right's for you Forest. I put something extra special in there." Granny Smith said from behind us. She had managed to mosey on over to where we sat.

The sun was beginning to dip over the horizon at this point.

I took the cider meant for me and took a whiff. Smelt normal. I took a sip. Not normal. Not normal at all! Holy shit! Woo! I shook my head and looked at Granny Smith.

"My speshul Apple Hooch. Ain't nothin' finer, better nor stronger in all Ponyville."

"You could power a jet with this stuff," I gurgled to myself, my throat in agony. "It's fantastic! It's perfect!" For getting absolutely fucked up!

"You like it, Forest?" Applebloom asked incredulously.

"It's... interesting. Yeah. I guess I do." I replied. I did. So what if it felt like drinking lava. The aftertaste was ecstasy. It was as if my mouth had an orgasm, that's how amazing it was. There is no other way to describe this sensation. I just had a mouthgasm.

"You drink this often?" I asked Granny Smith still hanging around behind us.

"Every night. One mug. Keeps my mind sharp, and my wits sharper."

I laughed, "You... you drink an entire mug of this stuff? You're an amazin', ol' gal, aint'cha?"

Granny Smith laughed in return.

Shit, I'm getting drunk already! I haven't even had a second sip! But this... this is too awesome!

"I'll race you, sunny-boy. First one to empty the mug wins. What you say? Think you can take on a ol' gal like me?"

"You're on!" I exclaimed.

"Forest..." Applebloom warned.

"Get ready... go!" Granny Smith instigated before Applebloom could finish.

You know that voice in the back of your mind that tells you that you're going to regret this in the morning? The voice that tells you that this is a really bad idea? You know, the voice called common sense? Yeah. Fuck that voice. Like I was going to let an old lady beat me at drinking!

As I pulled the cup from my lips, I turned to Granny Smith who was already done, and grinning at me.

"No way! Ha! You actually -" I hiccuped, "You actually won!"

"Forest, granny only drinks a tiny sip! She never fills a mug all the way..." Applebloom said in my ear.

"Oh? Haha! You... you're a clever... clever..." Equestria spun around quite quickly. Too quickly for me, and I found myself struggling to maintain balance on her, "Damn. This world... this world is too awesome... talking Ponies... Dragons... flying Ponies..."

"Granny Smith! Look what you did! Forest and I were going to search for my talent!" Applebloom complained.

"Applebloom! You're incredibly talented! I've been here for three daysh," I held up my hoof, trying to hold up three fingers, but all that appeared was a solitary hoof. I saw that Applebloom and Granny looked at my hoof with a confused expression on their faces, "And I already know what your talent ish!"

"You do?" Both Applebloom and Granny Smith replied in unison.

"Shure do!" I hiccuped again.

"Well, spit it out!" Granny Smith exclaimed excitedly.

"It'sh..."

"Yes?" Applebloom asked, leaning forwards.

"It'sh..."

"Yes?" Granny Smith asked, leaning forwards.

"It'sh..." The next thing I knew everything went black, and I landed on my face. As my conscience was fading, I heard Granny Smith's voice coming from somewhere.

"Well, let's get him inside. No point in lettin' him lie there all night! I've never seen anypony able to drink a whole mug of my Apple Hooch. Mac!"

"Eeyup, Granny?" Big Mac's voice appeared a few moments later as my brain started fading out.

"Bring him to the guest room. He can sleep in the Clubhouse tamarraw..."

Granny's voice droned on for a bit longer before I drifted into a dead, dreamless, sleep.

Or, in human-speak; I passed the fuck out.

Comments

[Ninjuto]

First.
But you kinda made the "Pinky" mistake again...just sayin.
Anyway very good chapter, you got the accents just right

[deathtap]

569133

I had to hurry it a little, so it kind of cuts off. Thanks for pointing that mistake out again - force of habit for me.

[PonyManne215]

I thought when Granny Smith was talking, you spelled some words wrong. But I looked at the keyboard and see that you did the mispellings on purpose. As for AppleJack, instead of using the word "I", you should use "Ah". I notice a lot of the people who write with AJ dialogue do this. Also "I'm" turns into ""Ah'm". Anyway, funny chapter. Do I smell a crush from the Changling. And setting up Forest and Pinkie? Oh you are kinky, sir. By the way, if you are doing a sex scene, which horrifies me, let me know. I can help you, though I'll probably rip my eyes out after finishing.

Edit: I found something that you looked over. It's no big deal but here it is. Then we took the tools form the tool shed and plodded over to the Clubhouse. I think you meant "from"

[deathtap]

573325 Thanks for pointing out the spelling mistakes - again (really, thank you). As for substituting 'I' with 'Ah' for Applejack's speech, I think that it's a moot necessity. People who come here are already very familiar with AJ's accent, and I doubt I need to remind them. That being said, as a writer in real life (yes, I write somewhat professionally, although most of my Real Life work is boring Technical Documents) there are some habits that have become too ingrained into me and it's very difficult for me to stop. For example the Pinky vs Pinkie.

As for sex, if I do, I think I'll create a separate story and then link it over. When the time comes - IF the time comes (highly doubtful), I'll forward it to you.

[Anubis Nox]

What stuffdoes she put in that drink.

[Shadow Morph]

drunk pony is drunk

[Cold Spike]

BEST CHAPTER EVER

[blindbronyinblack]

I'm really liking this story so far. The dialog is good. Pacing is just right. Characterization is expertly done. If this continues, you'll be sure to get a fav.

[Hoppa_21]

You are cruel author! First the Pinkieship, now the Appleship? I don't know what to ship anymore! I'm confused!

You are probably trolling everyone and he is going to marry Rainbow in the end!

[Buckshot2825]

6357427 The good news is that it's a tease and not an all out 'these two are dating'

These types of OC X MC are appropriate because it's sort of like a forbidden love. The OC doesn't really want it, nor cares for it, and the MC sort of realizes it, but also considers it foreign.

Onwards, let's see if i can do all night!

[Hoppa_21]

6693632

I'm really lucky that you were answering me, since I kind of lost the story and didn't mark it. At least now I don't have to look for it!

I only hope this all won't end in a lot of heartbreaking. Also does MC mean Mane/Main character? I didn't hear about this abbreviation before!

[Lunar Sentry]

took a whiff. Smelt normal. I took a sip. Not normal. Not normal at all! Holy shit! Woo!

that line man lol it made my day.