Exploring Equestria

by A_guy_from_Earth

16. Official Meeting

It was morning of another calm and peaceful day in Ponyville. Lunchtime was approaching, so the town and its citizens slowly immersed into siesta. Streets began to get deserted, Ponyville gradually became boring. The same happened in the Castle of Friendship. Most members of Team One were having nap or rest – only three of them were busy now: Kor helped Zet’rar with some repair of furniture, and lone Edez kept the watch near the main entrance. He had been alone for two hours already, so, having no one to speak with, he just started to faff around. At the moment he was ticking out Dreketanian Imperial March with his hooves. He was about to finish when the doors opened. Spike, Twilight and Fluttershy went in.

“Good day!” Edez greeted them.
“Hello!” responded Fluttershy. Twilight and Spike gave him a nod.

Edez was going to close the doors behind them when he noticed one more pony walking towards the entrance. It was Affi, but then Edez could have sworn that it was antediluvian biomech disguised as her: her moves were unnaturally clumsy and in general it looked as if she moved exceptionally by inertia, her eyes were aspiring to nowhere. Her detached expression showed that she was in state of deep prostration and shock.

“Um… Hey, Anti?” Edez waved her.

But Affi didn’t respond. She walked past him and hosts of the castle and went to the personal chambers of researchers.

When she entered the rooms, Edez turned to ponies and dragon and asked in troublous voice:

“What happened to her?”
“Well…” timidly started Fluttershy, “You know that Antilipsi agreed to help me with accommodation of new animals today, right?”
“Yes, she told about this.”
“When we had already started to work, Discord showed up. As it turned out, he also could help. Having his assistance, we did everything, except one matter, in a couple of hours. In the end we still needed to accommodate ferrets and martens, but there was only one free animal house. Ferrets and martens often confront with each other. Any partition has no effect – they just ruin it and start to fight again. The easiest way was to build one more house, but we didn’t have enough materials, and even Discord can create only temporary things. We had been thinking for quite a long time, and then Antilipsi came up with idea: she offered to make the last house two-storied, with separate entrances for each storey on opposite sides. It could be the solution what we needed, and, as it turned out later, it really worked. We were very happy. Discord, to thank her, took her up and kissed. And… since that moment Antilipsi was like that.”
“Discord… kissed her?” uttered Edez.
“Yes,” Fluttershy nodded.

In a moment researcher burst out laughing.

“Ehm… What’s so funny?” wondered ponies and little dragon.
“You know…” spelled Edez, wiping a tear, “our dear Anti has quite a crush on your spirit friend.”
“Really?” sincerely surprised Fluttershy.
“And… How serious it is?” asked Spike.

Edez spread his forelimbs apart.

“That big,” he said.

Spike gave a whistle, Fluttershy muttered “Oh my…”

“…okay,” spelled Twilight. “Um… and where is Erő?”
“He’s helping Allegro to repair some furniture… Oh, here it is!” said Edez and looked at his colleague who was descending the stairs.
“Good day,” Kor greeted hosts of the castle.
“So, you’ve finished?”
“Yep.”
“Pardon me, but what was broken?” asked Twilight.
“Oh, nothing serious: we just replaced some attachments of shelves with more durable ones.”
“I see.”

Hosts of the castle gave their guards a nod and went upstairs. Edez and Kor started to keep the watch together.

After some time Fluttershy left the castle, Oma and Zet’rar, who went with her, took their places at the reception counter.

Clock hands were about to come together to mark the noon, when big shadow flew behind windows. Soon researchers heard sound of big landing object. Edez and Kor opened the doors and saw that there was royal chariot. Eight pegasi guards pulled it, but there was only one passenger, princess Celestia. She left the chariot and went to the entrance. Researchers quickly gathered near doors, and in a moment Twilight, who also saw the chariot arriving, flew down from the second floor and landed near them. Members of Team One bowed when Celestia came in, Twilight trotted to her teacher.

“Princess Celestia!” purple alicorn smiled.
“Hello, princess Twilight,” responded Celestia.
“I’m very happy to see you, but I didn’t expect you to come today. What brings you here?”
“I’m very glad to see you too. Unfortunately, I came to you not for a friendly visit. I have big request to you. But we need to discuss it alone.”
“Sure. Follow me, please.”

Twilight gave researchers a nod, and they stood up. Princesses climbed up to the second floor and went to the library. There purple alicorn told her assistant to wait for her in his room, and soon both princesses remained alone. Twilight closed the door with her magic, turned to her teacher and got surprised and worried: Celestia suddenly drooped and lowered her head.

“What happened, princess?” she exclaimed. “This problem is so serious?”
“Oh, Twilight…” Celestia sighed. “The problem isn’t so serious, it’s just… specific. But I feel so uncomfortable and awkward asking you about it…”
“Tell me about it, please.”

Celestia made one more sigh and then started:

“Tomorrow we will receive ambassadorial delegation from Griffin Empire. The visit itself is not something extraordinary – people of Empire came to us almost every year. But there is one circumstance: griffins of Empire are strong-willed and authoritarian and even more proud than griffins of Griffonstone. They recognize only the strong. You have to show them your power if you want to have successful negotiations and achieve results that suit both sides. You have to impress them, and they don’t get impressed with the same thing twice. So… after two thousand years of diplomatic relations we simply ran out of ideas.”
“But…” Twilight got puzzled. “You and princess Luna are mightiest magicians in the world! You know incredible number of spells! It just can’t be that you have nothing to impress those griffins!”
“Griffins of Empire had discovered how to avoid any magic influence even before my sister turned into Nightmare Moon, twelve centuries ago. There are no magic tricks able to impress them now. We have to organize military parades, exhibitions, performances for them. We have tried almost everything. We don’t see almost any options now.”
“I… I don’t know how I can help you!”
“I have been thinking about possible solutions for a long time, and I came up with only one idea… Twilight, I need Berg and Erő to work as my guards for next two days.”
“Berg and Erő… as your guards?” Twilight was at a loss.
“Well, they look more impressive and even frightening than average Canterlot guards, agree,” said Celestia with expression of light awkwardness.
“Y-yes,” Twilight gave a weak nod after a pause. “I think I understand your point now.”
“I’m sorry that I need to ask you about such thing. It’s so awkward…”
“Please, princess. If it is necessary for Equestria’s needs, we’ll do it.”
“Thank you,” Celestia gave her student a nod.

Princesses stood up and left the library. Twilight called Spike, and soon they descended back to the main hall and approached Kor and Edez. Researchers, seeing alicorns coming to them, stood at attention.

“At ease!” Twilight said them. “Guys, princess Celestia has something to tell you.”
“Mister Berg, mister Erő, I need you to become my guards for next two days,” said Celestia.

Eyebrows of giants seemed to get higher than tops of their heads. Oma and Zet’rar, who was behind princesses, silently dropped their jaws.

“Your… guards?” spelled Kor.
“Ehm… Who will replace us then?” asked Edez.
“Yes,” nodded Twilight. “There is one specific issue which requires you for its solution. You will get the explanations later, now you have to go to Canterlot. What about the replacement… I suppose mister Zicht will have to work another shift.”
“Of course, Your Highnesses,” bowed Edez and Kor. “We’ll quickly pack our things and take the first train to Canterlot.”
“You will fly to Canterlot with me,” said Celestia.

Researchers choked.

“With… you?” spelled Edez.
“On… your chariot?” spelled Kor.
“Yes,” Celestia gave a nod. “We can’t waste time.”
“W-we understand that it’s the fastest way, but…” muttered Edez.
“It’s kinda awkward for us,” said Kor.
“Don’t worry about that, guys!” said one of the guards who pulled the chariot.
“Yeah, we don’t mind to buff up a bit,” added the second.
“A-as you say,” said Edez and Kor.

Celestia gave them three minutes to pack all what they needed. Researchers ran to their chambers and quickly packed standard set: personal hygiene items, some clothes, money, books and entertainment stuff. They didn’t take any self-installing devices – since they received grim message from headquarters, they already had full set of searchers and self-defense devices installed in themselves.

Soon they, with full bags, stood near Celestia and reported that they are ready. Princess said “Good” and asked them to follow her to the chariot. She got in, Edez and Kor put their bags on seats, but then they suddenly addressed the nearest guards:

“Pardon us, but have you ever carried all the princesses and prince Shining Armor and Spike at the same time?”
“Um, no… Wait, you want to say that you are so heavy???” they surprised.
“Well… yeah.”

Pegasi just turned and looked forward with dumbfound petrified expressions without any words. Researchers, also without words, got into the chariot and sat behind princess.

Guards took a deep breath, spread their wings and began to flitter. Soon the chariot took off. Pegasi noted for themselves that it wasn’t so hard as they imagined after researchers’ words, but also they noted that those guys weren’t overestimating their weight – now it seemed that there were four ponies like Celestia in the chariot at least. Soon they gained altitude and started to turn into small dot in the sky. Twilight, surprised Oma and Zet’rar and grieved Max saw them off.

After a couple of minutes they rose above the clouds. Ponyville remained below and behind, in front of them silhouettes of Canterlot gradually began to take shape.

“We will be in the castle in thirty minutes,” said Celestia. “Now I would like to explain you…”

She turned back and got very surprised: Kor and Edez turned pale, pressed themselves into seats and grabbed a stranglehold over the boards of the chariot, barely managing not to show their claws.

“You have never flown before?” princess surprised.
“Only by dirigibles, Your Highness,” researchers quietly said.
“Oh… You have nothing to fear! Nothing will happen to you while you are here.”

Researchers gave a weak nod and loosened the grip.

“Mister Berg, mister Erő, I asked you to come with me because we have one specific issue with delegation that arrives tomorrow,” Celestia started to explain. “It’s an ambassadorial mission from Griffin Empire. I believe you met people of Empire before, right?”

Kor and Edez nodded “Regularly, Your Highness.”

“Then you should know that they recognize only the strong,” continued Celestia. “We maintain diplomatic relations for two thousand years already, and we have to impress them all the time if we want them to treat us as equals. But after all these years we simply ran out of variants how to do this. Now another delegation arrives, and, as I hope, when they will see you as my guards, they get the necessary impression.”
“We understand, Your Highness. But what exactly is required of us?” asked Berg.
“Nothing extraordinary. You just have to accompany me in their presence, look imperturbable, instilling and threateningly. Just act like ordinary disciplined guards.”
“Certainly, Your Highness,” researchers said.
“Good. And, please, don’t call me ‘Your Highness’ so often.”
“As you say.”
“When we arrive, you’ll need to be certified to become official Canterlot guards. It’s just a formality, but it’s very necessary. We must have proof that you are real guards, not just actors.”
“We understand.”
“First we’ll find you some armors because their production takes some quite long time. Then, before the end of the day, you’ll have to pass the certification. After this you may be free until 11:30 A.M. of tomorrow – griffin delegation arrives at noon.”
“We’ll do our best!”

Celestia smiled.

In a few minutes they arrived to Canterlot. The chariot glided above roofs of the city and walls of the palace and landed right in the center of castle yard. Pegasi guards removed harnesses and stretched themselves after complicated flight. Celestia stepped down from the chariot, Edez and Kor put their bags on and left the transport after princess.

“Follow me, please,” Celestia said, and researchers went after the diarch.

They entered the castle through doors of one terrace and started to go down long corridors. Using telepathic transmitters, researchers quickly agreed on the division of responsibilities: Edez will have to plot the map of the palace, Kor will have to record everything what he can notice. And there were a lot of things to look at: first part of the path ran through main great halls. Splendid and richly and brightly decorated with paintings, panels, statuettes and antiques, full of different ponies – guards, maids, aristocrats, officials – they were incredible sight, radically different from halls of old Castle of Two Sisters. But they didn’t spend a lot of time there – after another turn they appeared in dense network of tunnels, almost absolutely identical to basements of old castle. They were among storerooms, utility rooms and workshops. Researchers, though they had no problems with orientation in any kind of space and were excellent with maps, got a bit lost, wandering along these corridors. But Celestia seemed to know perfectly every inch of all the tunnels as she led them without any stops.

After several sharp turns they appeared near one massive door. Celestia lifted the massive knocker with her magic and gently let it go. In a moment it hit the door, and thunderous sound swept throughout the tunnels. When the echoes subsided, the door opened without a sound, and black as anthracite, short stocky unicorn stallion in blacksmith uniform appeared on the sill.

“Good day, mister Steel,” Celestia greeted him.
“Your Highness,” blacksmith bowed.
“Mister Berg, mister Erő, this is Blued Steel, royal master of armor,” Celestia told Edez and Kor. Researchers bowed to blacksmith, princess continued. “Mister Steel, these gentlecolts need new armors for tomorrow’s event.”
“Hm… I see…” spelled Blued Steel and rubbed his chin. “Come in!” he waved his hoof.

Researchers entered the large, but extremely filled with different tools, racks and stacks of metal room. Celestia also went in, but remained near the entrance. Blued Steel approached rich exposition of new armors and looked at it.

“You know,” he said, “I don’t have armors that will suit your size. I do not even remember doing anything suitable for somepony big as you. And I just won’t have time to make even one new armor, it’s not a matter of one day. But… there is one way out. They need armors only for the event, am I right, Your Highness?”
“Yes,” Celestia nodded.
“Then I’ll just take ordinary armors and temporary enlarge them with magic,” continued Blued Steel. “I just need to know exactly what figures you have.”

He came to researchers and started to examine them. Blued Steel slowly walked around Edez and Kor and then levitated himself to look on researchers from above. He quickly made the examination he needed and landed.

“In general, normal proportions except broad back,” he said looking at Edez, then he turned to Kor. “Broad shoulders, thoracic spine is higher than lumbar… I think I have armors for such figures.”

He returned to his collection and after a little search took two armors that combined features of old and new equestrian armors – they had not so many components and “additional elements”, but pony wearing them would look quite fearsome. He raised them into the air and casted quick enlarging spell. One bright flash – and metal suites got almost twice bigger.

“Here,” Blued Steel gave the armors to researchers. “Try them.”

Kor and Edez gave a nod and quickly put the armors on.

“Well?” blacksmith asked.
“Very comfortable and movable, looks cool… We like them!” answered Edez.
“Yeah, they are very good,” nodded Kor.
“Wonderful!” smiled Blued Steel. “By the end of the day I’ll make the enlargement spell to work for two days, polish them and… you can have brand new armors!”
“Thank you,” said researchers.

They put armors off, and blacksmith began his work. Celestia with Edez and kor left the workshop.

Then the wandering along the corridors continued. They got out from basements and in few minutes reached opposite part of the castle, the barracks of royal guard. Near the main entrance there was a small group, waiting for them: tall white unicorn with violet mane and indigo eyes who wore uniform of senior officer; rather small grey unicorn with silver mane and silver eyes, he was quite aged, and he also was in uniform of senior officer; and there were three subalterns – brown unicorn with black mane and green eyes, smoke pegasus with cobalt mane and yellow eyes and black thestral with violet mane and blood-red eyes. They approached this company and stopped in a couple of steps in front of them. Researchers bowed, greeting the guards, guards bowed, greeting the princess and her guests, Celestia responded with slow respectful nod.

“Sirs, this is mister Berg and mister Erő,” she said to the officers, “who will play the role of my personal guards during the tomorrow’s ceremony. Gentlecolts,” she addressed researchers, “this is colonel Obsidian Glaive, deputy commander of castle guard,” she gently pointed at tall unicorn, “major Silver Veil, head of recruit training service,” she pointed at aged gray stallion, “and captains Avalanche, Thundershock and Ares,” she alternately introduced brown unicorn, pegasus and thestral to researchers. “They will be your examiners, and since now until the end of the ceremony – your commanders.”
“We are honored to meet you,” Edez and Kor bowed to guards again.
“We are honored too,” answered Obsidian Glaive.
“Now I have to leave you,” said Celestia. “Good luck to you all!”

She gave them all a nod and went away. Soon she disappeared behind a corner, and castle guards looked at researchers.

“Well, are you ready for the examination?” asked Silver Veil.
“Always ready!” answered Kor and Edez.
“Wonderful! Let’s start then!” he with a gesture said to follow him. Guards went down the corridor, and researchers went after them.
“Pardon us, but what exactly our certification will include?” asked Edez.
“Yes,” Kor gave a nod. “We still don’t know all the differences between equestrian and europonian programs.”
“Certification program is standard,” explained Silver Veil. “It includes three parts: interview, my part, drill check – Obsidian Glaive will be your examiner then – and military training – this will be Avalanche’s Thundershock’s and Ares’ part.”
“We see. Almost no differences from europonian program.”
“They are the same everywhere, I think.”
“So… Berg, you are from Waldland, and Erő, you are from Pusztia, right?” asked Avalanche.
“Indeed,” answered Edez.
“I wonder if big ponies like you is common thing in your regions?”
“No, we are overgrown by all standards, but, yes, tall ponies are more widespread in Europonia than here.”
“You know, you have quite a long tail even for a mare,” noted Thundershock, addressing Kor.
“I know, but…” Kor stopped and with his tail took a coin accidentally dropped by pegasus captain. “You can always use extra limb.” He smiled and gave the coin to Thundershock.
“Really impressive,” he said.
“It’s still a trifle,” said Edez. “Just to let you know, usually, when there are no visitors, he uses his tail to hold fork and spoon, brush his teeth and shave.”

Subalterns and even senior officers got very surprised. Kor made a smug smile.

“Well… I hope that it’s not all your talents,” said Silver Veil.
“You won’t be disappointed, sir,” answered researchers.

Soon they confirmed their words. Silver Veil promptly and deeply interviewed them, after this Obsidian Glaive thoroughly drilled researchers for entire hour. Edez and Kor followed all their instructions and did everything what senior officers told them. They didn’t show results which they could be praised for, but they showed the main: discipline and ability to clearly execute any orders. Examiners found nothing at what it was possible to carp. They had revised their attitude to these “europonians” and now weren’t angry with princess for her choice – guards of princess Twilight were perfect candidates.

But examiners from among subalterns still were disgruntled and didn’t hide it. How could princess Celestia choose these mercenaries? There were no worthy candidates in whole Canterlot? They couldn’t believe it. Well… Now they will be the examiners. They will give these upstarts what-for.

After short break they met on the ground of castle guards corps. Whitish-grey walls with only several embrasures around all the square, empty tribunes, and, except themselves and some training dummies, no one around.

“Welcome again,” said Ares, greeting the researchers.

Kor and Edez responded with respectful nod.

“You have passed two first stages of certification,” thestral captain continued. “Now let’s see how good you are in reality.”
“We’ll give each of you one task, and you should do it as good as you can, understand?” said Thundershock.
“Yes,” answered researchers.
“But first…” uttered Avalanche. “You, guys, are big and impressive, but are you strong and tough enough?”

Researchers said nothing in response. They looked at the subalterns, then gazed around the ground and stopped at one of the dummies.

“Can we take it?” asked Edez, pointing to the nearest, quite new dummy.
“Ehm, sure,” answered Avalanche.
“Thank you.”

Edez came to the dummy, took it and dragged to where the examiners were standing. Subalterns looked at the dummy, then at Edez. Researcher grinned, grabbed the head of the dummy with his hooves and… in a second with loud crash distance between his hooves decreased to nil. Then he passed the dummy to his colleague. Kor gave a nod, took the dummy, lifted it above his head and soon, after another loud crashing sound, dummy’s shoulders and rump touched each other.

The dummy was broken, so Kor threw it away. Subalterns silently gulped. These two have just broken solid piece of Everfree iron wood without any significant difficulties, the very wood which was as hard as dragon bones.

“Well… We see your point,” said Avalanche. “But still, being a Canterlot guard is not only everyday patrols and still standing on the watch. You should be ready to protect princesses at any time, you should be ready to fight.”
“Yes,” continued Thundershock. “We have to see how good you are in combat. So let’s pass to the main test then.”

Kor raised an eyebrow.

“You have to take part in a training battle,” answered Ares.
“That doesn’t sound so hard,” said Edez.
“…where each one of you will fight alone against a small group,” thestral captain finished.

Researchers looked at him in surprise.

“These are our rules,” said Thundershock. “You aren’t worthy to be a Canterlot guard if you aren’t able to confront several ones at the same time.”
“Yeah,” nodded Avalanche.
“Each of you must fight with two pegasi guards and two unicorn guards at the same time,” Ares began to explain the essence of the test. “You’ll pass the test only if you win.”
“Well… As you say, as you say…” researchers spelled and started to prepare for fight.

For the first round, Kor opposed Thundershock and best warriors of his company. As the adversaries had nothing to shield themselves, Canterlot guards put on light armors instead of usual ones to even the odds – if it was possible to be called so. On the other hand, researchers had powerful healing implants, but now they had to switch them off to avoid any suspicions. Opponents stood on the opposite sides of the ground, waiting for the signal from Ares.

Thestral guard looked at Thundershock and his team, then at Kor and gave go-ahead. Fighters attacked each other. Canterlot guards decided to defeat their opponent quickly with joint attack. Unicorns bowed their heads and brought down heavy fire of magic blasts on Kor. Thundershock’s assistant dashed forward to hit the researcher with all his might. Kor darted to the side, dodging the blasts, but that pegasus still was aiming at him. He won’t be able to dodge all the attacks, he has to take down at least one of the opponents, and quickly. He noticed with corner of his eye where the pegasus was, sharply turned around and ran towards him. He accelerated as much as it was possible and rose with a spring. In a moment he collided with the pegasus. Although winged guard has higher speed and armor, he had no chances against living battering ram. First opponent was defeated, but other three were ready to fight, and they didn’t waste time: three blasts hit Kor when he was in air and burned his back. He managed to land on his hooves somehow, but his legs were shaking. Thundershock dashed towards researcher to deliver the final blow. Suddenly Kor raised his head, growled and ran towards unicorns. Guards fired again, but Kor now didn’t even try to dodge – one blast hit his shoulder, another burned his forehead, but he didn’t stop. In a couple of seconds he reached the unicorns and hit one of them in the chest. He was thrown back on three meters. Other guard dodged, but it was not enough: Kor grabbed his head with own tail, pulled towards himself and knocked out with hind leg. Thundershock, who was just in dozen of meters from there, dropped his jaw – that europonian finished his best unicorn guards in one fell swoop! He stopped sharply, roared and soared up high. He was going to level his mercenary to the ground literally. Thundershock quickly reached one thousand steps height and then flounced down, gathering even greater speed. He put forth his forelegs, preparing to crash and flatten the opponent, but when he was just in one second from his aim, helmet of his subordinate appeared right in front of his face. Kor, seeing what Thundershock was going to do, decided to prevent it with the simplest way out – to shoot the attacker down. He threw the helmet of one of unicorn guards in Thundershock, it hit his head and successfully knocked him out. Thundershock fell down like a stone, but Kor managed to catch him – the drop height was small. He put pegasus on the ground, looked at Ares, then at Edez and said his colleague:

“Next.”

Then he left the ground, limping.

Avalanche with Ares took the defeated fellow guards to the first-aid post and returned to the ground. Kor passed the test, now it was Edez’s turn. He had to fight Avalanche with his subordinates. Just as the fighters of the first round, they stood on the opposite sides of the ground, Ares gazed at them and gave go-ahead.

As the first team, Avalanche with his guards decided to bring their opponent down with joint attack: unicorns started heavy fire, and both pegasi dashed towards researcher to nail him to the ground. Thus, there was only one way out for Edez, just as it was for Kor: to stop at least one as quickly as possible. But, unlike his colleague, master researcher decided to take down the unicorns, the main attacking force, first. He ran towards them, dodging the magic fire. Unicorns, seeing this, jumped to different sides. Edez understood that in spite of his size he won’t be able to reach both of them at the same time. He had to choose, and he chose Avalanche’s assistant because his fire was more intense. In a second young unicorn guard was hit in the shoulder and thrown back on four meters. Edez defeated the first opponent, but at the same time opened himself for the second, the most skilled unicorn. Avalanche sent two precise blasts in Edez’s nape, and this almost knocked the researcher down. Pegasi guards, seeing this, stopped. Edez staggered, and Avalanche pounced on him, aiming to defeat him with one powerful last blast. But he underestimated his opponent: researcher saw his jump, sharply turned, and his saucer-sized hoof hit Avalanche in the jaw. Commander of the company was knocked out. Pegasi guards silently gasped, but soon their anger prevailed over surprise, they growled and dashed forward together, aiming to hit Edez in the head. Researcher tracked their moves, so when they appeared near he successfully dodged their attack and carried out his own one: while pegasi was sweeping over him, Edez quickly turned round, stood on hind legs and in the last moment grabbed both guards by their legs and with all his might pulled them towards each other. Pegasi collided with their back and napes, lost consciousness for a moment and fell down. They were defeated.

Edez won too. The training battle was over. Ares froze with bulging eyes and his jaw hung open. Very few of all the guards were able to pass this test so quickly. And none of them was an earth pony.

“That’s it…” spelled Edez and turned to thestral. “Did we pass?”

Ares gave a weak hesitant nod “Y-yeah…”

“Good. Erő,” master researcher addressed his colleague, “let’s take these ones to the hospital.”
“Agree,” nodded Kor and came to Edez, who had already started to put defeated guards on his own back.
“Wait, you need medical help too!” exclaimed Ares. “You can barely walk, and these terrible burns!”
“We aren’t arguing,” researchers answered. “But the help is more necessary to these guys, than us,” Edez helped his colleague to put the last beaten guard on his back. “Now, where was the hospital?”

Thestral said with glad expression “I’ll show you. Follow me.”

They went to the first-aid post. Obsidian Glaive and Silver Veil, who watched the battle through an embrasure, saw them off.

“Well, what do you think?” Obsidian Glaive asked his colleague.
“They showed that they are disciplined, responsible and capable and that they can be obedient,” answered Silver Veil. “Now we have seen that they are skilled, trained and strong. Yes, they are perfect candidates. Except for one thing.”
“What thing?”
“They are hardened trolls. You know what they told me when I asked them to describe themselves in a few words? Berg said ‘I’m 34 and I’m bearded,’ Erő said ‘I like persimmons, damask blades and to sleep.”
“Heh… You know, half of Ares’ company is like this. It doesn’t matter. They deserve to be guards.”
“Yes.”

Meanwhile Ares led Edez and Kor to the first-aid post. The sight of wounded researchers, carrying their opponents, greatly surprised Thundershock and guys from his subordinates, who had been almost completely healed already. Kor and Edez insisted that Avalanche and his partners should be healed first because their wounds are more serious. Researchers themselves waited patiently until doctors and nurses finished their job. When former Edez’s opponents were brought round and told about who carried them here, they got surprised. After this they looked at researchers, who finally started to get treatment, in a different way.

Thundershock, Avalanche and Ares realized everything. They were wrong, and princess was right, choosing them for the most important role of tomorrow’s ceremony. They were worthy candidates and, more importantly, just good guys. Subalterns also revised their attitude to Edez and Kor. They waited for researchers, and they left the first-aid post together as good fellows. And an hour later they became real friends.

They quickly got to talking when they found that there are many topics of interest to all of them. Guards and researchers spoke about common and different in equestrian and europonian military systems, about their experience being a soldier, they shared their life stories. Now they were free, so Ares, Thundershock and Avalanche showed Edez and Kor the whole castle – from the barracks and kitchens to royal museum and throne room. Researchers were very impressed: the castle was huge, elegant and astonishing, but at the same time its layout was very elaborated and practical. Expression of amazement almost never left their faces – and this, the sight of mighty giants getting surprised like little colts with every little thing, provided great fun for the guides – but they didn’t forget about their exploration mission and continued to record and plot.

They wandered around the palace complex for several hours, and they would wander around until midnight if Avalanche hadn’t remember that evening meal time is coming. So, by the offer of subalterns, Edez and Kor agreed to eat together in the barrack canteen.

In a dozen of minutes they got to the place and stood in the line to receive their portions. Most of the guards had already finished their meal, so waiting time was not long, and they easily found free table.

When they sat up and started to fill their stomachs, they were silent, but soon, after several comments of Edez and Kor on food in equestrian army canteens, they resumed their conversation and quickly returned to telling stories from their lives.

“…and, finally, running from angered keeper of the Tower, he stuck in the ventilation shaft, and wasn’t able to move,” Avalanche told. “We managed to get him out of there only at next day.”
“Really?” researchers sincerely surprised.
“Yep, this is all true,” nodded Ares. “We can confirm it.”
“You want to say that devastation of whole quarter of royal garden, total mess in seventeen rooms, disintegration of more than a hundred of antiquities and prevented by a miracle destruction of Stargazer Tower were result of attempt of this guy to hit on a maid?” Kor was taken aback.
“Yes,” subalters nodded.

Edez’s hoof collided with his face. Kor took a deep breath, shook his head and spelled:

“Incredible unfortunate… and fabled dunce.”
“That’s the most appropriate term,” noticed Thundershock.
“And here we have this merry life,” said Ares.
“Yeah, such things you’ll never forget,” nodded Edez.
“Well, and what about you?” asked Ares. “Have you ever had epic occasions?”
“Hm… Well, this case is not so “grand” as your, but it became almost legendary,” said Edez and started to alter one real story from his life. “It happened when I studied in Waldland Military Academy. We had another exercises, but not ordinary ones – these were exercises for the whole year, and that time we had lieutenant general, deputy commander of Waldland army, checking how good we are. All the students knew about the arrival of general, so we obviously were very worried. And we remained like this until the beginning of the training battle.
“So, D-day had come, the exercises began, we took our positions, and our senior officers prepared to watch. The honor to give the signal to start was given to the deputy commander. He looked around the battlefield and gave the signal. And immediately after this my friend Stahl Schild jumped, ran towards the “enemy”, screaming at the top of his lungs ‘Kartoffelpüree’ – that means “mashed potatoes” – instead of ‘Hurra’… It was possible to understand – poor lad got so worried that mixed battle cries. But… when everypony heard it, they laughed like crazy, tearing their stomachs. Absolutely no pony after this was able to fight. Exercises were disrupted. We could start again only in two days. But the most surprising was that the general later found Schild and thanked him, saying that he hadn’t laughed so hard for very long time.”
“Good one!” Ares and Thundershock said, laughing.
“Verbal weapon of mass destruction…” uttered Avalanche.
“Indeed,” said Edez.
“Oh… And you, Erő?” asked Ares.
“Well, I haven’t had a chance to be witness of really epic events, but there was one really impressive thing from my student years…” said Kor. “Um, have everypony finished their meals?”
“Ehm, yeah,” said Ares. “Why you’re asking this?”
“It’s not the most suitable story for dinner, to be honest. But it doesn’t reduce its coolness. Well, during my years in Military Academy I had some practice in police department. Pusztia is small land and has small regular army, so students of the Academy, if they want to get some experience, often take hour job in police. So, in the department, where I worked, there was one detective who interrogated with absolute efficiency. How did he do it? Well, he came to the criminal, sat in front of him and said ‘I give you two options. You tell us everything and I guarantee that you’ll be absolutely safe, or else I’ll shove a soldering iron into your butthole.’ Criminals usually treated it with derision. Detective, seeing such attitude, asked his assistants to hold the criminal, and then… he shoved a soldering iron into criminal’s butthole and turned the tool on. Criminal felt warmth inside and spilled all the beans in seconds. Soldering iron was old, so warmed up for quite a long time and caused no injuries, but it did its job. This method always worked.”
“That’s harsh,” noted Ares.
“Yep, but also incredibly effective.”
“True, true.”
“And now, please, excuse me, I have to lighten the heavy burden of my existence,” said Kor, stood up and went to the toilet.

He closed the unadorned door of canteen bathroom behind himself, and just in few seconds after this his loud shout sounded throughout the room:

“Bazmeg!!!”

In a moment the bathroom door swung open and crashed into the wall and enraged Kor appeared on the sill.

“Why does somepony not know how to flush toilet after they’ve had a shit?!” he roared.

Shocked guards and cooks at first didn’t know how to respond to this, what to say. Soon, however, all of them decided to pretend that they hadn’t heard anything. Kor gazed at them, growled and went back to his friends.

“Dammit, Erő, what’s wrong with you?” hissed Edez. “Shout like mad because of piece of crap.”
“PIECE of crap???” resented Kor. “There was not a piece, there were fucking great pyramids of Anugypt!”

Dumbfounded Thundershock, Ares and Avalanche silently looked at each other.

“But still why it was necessary to shout?” growled Edez.
“Eh… Such things just make me mad…” Kor said and sat back. “Excuse me.”
“Let’s better forget it,” said Ares.
“Agree,” said other guards.

They carried the trays with empty plates to the kitchen and left the canteen. After short discussion they decided to walk around the castle a little more and went to the exit from barrack wing. When they almost got there, they met Silver Veil. Old unicorn came to Edez and Kor and shook their hooves.

“Congratulations!” he said. “You are officially taken to the Canterlot guard!”
“Thank you,” researchers bowed.
“You earned it. But I came to tell you not only this. You see… because of your sizes we didn’t find any places where we could accommodate you.”
“Well, princesses’ chambers could fit,” quietly proposed Avalanche.
“Princess Luna’s bed still will be small, and princess Celestia has only one bed,” said Ares.
“I have to agree,” sighed Silver Veil.
“Just find four mattresses, two pillows and enough place on the floor of any room or even corridor,” said Kor.
“Yeah, we aren’t choosy,” added Edez.
“Well, as you say.”
“Ehm… pillows?” wondered Thundershock.
“We can do without blankets, but not without pillows,” answered Kor.
“Okay.”
“We’ll provide you place to sleep,” said Silver Veil.

Researchers gave him a nod and together with their new friends went for an evening walk. Silver Veil ordered the servants to prepare beds for Kor and Edez and went about his business.

Edez and Kor were glad: they were accepted and now they were having deserved rest. But in such situations as the one in which they were everything can’t be good. Although Obsidian Glaive told everypony about Edez and Kor and results of their certification, some guards still were disgruntled. And one of them was very angry.

“Damned fucking mercenaries…” he cussed but continued the execution of the given order and cleaned and prepared the standards. “Why them? There were no worthy ponies among castle guards? In whole Equestria? Why princess asked these damned europonians to help?”
“Jeez, calm down, Bolide!” his friend, who was busy with the same thing, said him.
“Calm down? I can’t, Blaze, I just can’t! I can’t accept the fact that they will be playing roles of Celestia’s personal guards, and we, one of elite platoons, are preparing the standards! It’s just a mockery of us!”
“Agree, it’s offensive, but they showed the best results! During the training battles each of them defeated all four opponents in one and a half minutes! Commanders can take you in elite units if you can defeat three opponents in two minutes. And they are earth ponies! Yes, they are big and strong, but still they are earth ones!”
“So what? It doesn’t negate the fact that they are just upstarts! Presumptuous upstarts! And I won’t let them get off so easily!”
“And what you are going to do? Frame them up? Use your magic to give them a dusting? You’ll face the tribunal for such things.”
“Oh, I won’t. I have something in my mind that’ll teach them a good lesson…”

Night has come, and all the guards returned to the barracks. As there were no enough space in occupied rooms, Edez and Kor got places to sleep in an empty one. Command “lights out” was given, and all the guards went to sleep.

At next day, after hearty breakfast and short conversation with Ares, Thundershock and Avalanche, researchers went to Blued Steel to put on their armors. When they got there, they got surprised: royal blacksmith not only enlarged the armors, but added some details that made new Kor’s and Edez’s uniform even more impressive. He did amazing job. Researchers sincerely thanked him, put the armors on and went to the throne room to prepare for the ceremony.

They were an incredible sight now: two giant stallions in strong mat armors consisting of massive steel shields, great helmets with spikes, composite protective elements for legs, neck and tail. These were not formal uniforms, these were real battle suits. All ponies around admitted that they looked really fearsome and threatening. Ares, Avalanche and Thundershock, when they saw them, gave a whistle and said that they are really envy now because none of them had never looked so cool. Kor and Edez thanked them and said “We hope griffins will think the same.”

Preparations in the throne room were almost finished. Musicians were ready to start at any minute, platoons of elite guards were on their places and raised the standards of Griffin Empire and its provinces, diplomats and other officials were waiting for princess. Researchers took a deep breath, entered it and went to the throne. They found themselves in the sights again, but now there were more eyes looking at them, and they felt how intense these sights were. They climbed the stairs of elevation and stood near the throne – Kor on the left, Edez on the right.

Soon princess Celestia came. When she entered, all ponies in the room bowed to her. Princess responded with gentle nod and proceeded to her throne. She sedately climbed the elevation and looked at researchers.

“You look very effective,” she said.
“Thank you, Your Highness,” bowed Edez and Kor.

Celestia smiled and sat on the throne. Diplomats gathered near the elevation, guards raised all the standards and stood at attention. Just in a couple of seconds after castle clock struck noon, and the ceremony had begun.

Two guards opened massive doors of the throne room, and delegates from Griffin Empire started to went in. Aged black griffin in coat with incredibly rich embroidery, the new ambassador, was leading the way. Twelve other officials, representatives of provinces, translators and traders, followed him. They also were wearing traditional coats of Empire diplomats, but their clothes had absolutely no decorations. Officials were escorted by platoon of soldiers in rich, shining battle armors. Celestia stood up. Griffins waited until the last of them entered the room and then the ambassador briefly, but with great respect greeted the princess in equestrian, and all griffins bowed to her. Celestia bowed to them and welcomed the guests. Having received the formal invitation, griffins raised their heads and continued their way to the throne elevation.

Ambassador was just in forty steps from the throne elevation, when one of his assistants suddenly shouted:

“Who dared?”

All ponies and lot of delegates got shocked.

“What caused your anger, distinguished representative?” asked Celestia, showing no emotions.
“The standard of Northern Mountains is hung out upside down!” assistant said and pointed at it.

Other griffins and all the ponies looked at it. The standard of northern Mountains of Griffin Empire was just a white symbol on dark gray-bluish background, but it has one particular feature: except several minor elements, it looked like it had perfect vertical and horizontal symmetry. It was very easy to mix up its parts, so castle workers put special little mark to avoid it. But now it was deliberately ignored.

“Bolide, you bastard…” Blaze quietly cussed.

Griffins started to express their indignation.

“Insolence!”
“Impudence!”
“It’s disrespectful to us!”

Ambassador turned to his companions and raised his forepaw, saying them to fall silent. Other griffins immediately stopped to resent, and old griffin addressed the princess:

“Your Highness, we understand that it could be a mistake of young inexperienced guard, but still he must be brought to account for his actions. You know our traditions and rules. Tell us who did it, or you will have to redeem yourselves in battle.”

Ponies murmured. Almost nopony knew and even had no clue about who was responsible for this. Blaze silently growled as he hesitated. For the good of future relations between Equestria and Empire he had to tell, but he didn’t want to lose his friend, so he just kept silence. Bolide gladly smiled behind everypony.

There was no answer. The situation became critical. Researchers, seeing that all ponies around have no idea, decided to take resolute step.

“Your Highness, choose the battle,” quietly said Edez, having slightly leaned towards Celestia.
“What?” she whispered.
“All ponies here haven’t even a clue. If you don’t give an answer now, everything will only get worse,” said Kor.
“But… are you sure?”
“Trust us,” said Edez.

Celestia sighed and said:

“It seems I have no other choice… We have to fight.”
“Well, you made your decision,” ambassador said. “I see you have two warriors by your side, so we shall delegate two warriors too. Conditions will be simple: if you win, we shall forgive you, if we win, well, our nations will have to start to build diplomatic relations from the very beginning again. In case of tied score we repeat the fight.”

Celestia quietly gulped, but said:

“We accept your conditions.”
“Good,” ambassador said. “Now, let’s clear the battle place.”

Ponies stepped back to the walls, clearing the space and forming rectangular area, and soon center of the throne room was empty. Researchers looked at princess, then at each other. They gave each other a nod, and Edez stepped forward. He went down the stairs and stood in front of griffins. Citizens of Empire made way for the first warrior of their side. Tall, muscled gray-white griffin in silver-steel armor. He stood in front of researcher and opened out his wings – griffins always did it before the battle to make an impression on their opponents. Edez responded with preparation for pounce. Griffin growled and got ready to attack too. Warriors gazed at each other and darted off. Griffin ran like hungry angry big cat aiming to cling to the throat of his victim, but Edez just accelerated like he was going to ram the opponent. The distance between them rapidly decreased, clash was matter of the nearest seconds. They were just in a couple steps from each other, when Edez shifted to the side with lightning speed. In a moment his right foreleg appeared on the griffin’s back, and warrior of Empire was literally nailed to the floor. Griffin wheezed badly as almost all air was knocked out from his lungs. He couldn’t move.

All spectators dropped their jaws. The only exception was Kor, but he also got surprised: he had never seen his curator in action, and it turned out to be awesome. Delegates from Empire were just shocked: one of the best soldiers of Imperial guard was defeated at one blow! For some time they just refused to believe this. But their eyes weren’t deceiving.

The first fight was over. Griffin soldiers rushed to help their companion. Edez stepped back, allowing them to take away the beaten friend, looked at the delegates and went back to his post near princess.

He got up, and Kor came down. Imperials delegated the second warrior – brown, a bit disheveled griffin, smaller than first one, but very tough. Researcher and guard got ready, looked at each other and rushed to fight. But now griffin immediately soared up and darted down at Kor. Researcher managed to dodge the attack, but griffin had already started the second one. He understood that because of the size and strength his opponent had distinct advantage on the ground, and he will be finished in seconds if he gets caught. There was only one way out: quick and frequent attacks to wear his opponent down and then one powerful strike to finish him. So griffin started to pounce Kor just like a raven attack any large predator getting to its nest.

Kor had to flounce around whole battle area, dodging the onslaughts. His opponent gave him virtually no possibilities for counter attack, and even when he had a chance, he couldn’t catch the griffin or hit him – Imperial guard was too fast. Researcher guessed the tactics of his opponent, he knew how he could confront, but there was big problem: he couldn’t use these methods. He couldn’t accelerate, jump and take down the griffin like he did with pegasus guard during the training fight – the battle area was small, and there were a lot of ponies and griffins around. Somebody might get hurt. He also couldn’t throw anything in griffin to take him down. He had only wait until the moment when he will be able to catch the griffin and bring him to the ground, only then he can do something. But for now…

Griffin soldier continued to dart down on Kor and hit him in the back and in the head. He even tried to tear out parts of researcher’s armor, but they were firmly fixed. Delegates from Empire were glad: now the advantage was on their side. Best soldier of Celestia was just dodging and running away. Yes, it could take quite a long time, but still it was obvious who will win this time.

Imperial guard continued his attacks, Kor continued to dodge. Researcher was badly hit several times, a couple of times he barely remained conscious, but he continued to wait. His opponent, trying to wear him off, also got tired. So he just should expose himself even for several seconds soon. In two minutes Kor got a chance. Griffin started another onslaught, but now he was flying a bit slower than before. It gave the researcher time to predict whole move and dodge it. And this, in turn, gave him possibility to counter attack. Using own tail like a whip, Kor grabbed the griffin by forepaw and with all his might brought Imperial guard on the ground. While the griffin was disoriented, researcher quickly turned around and headbutted him. Both of warriors were in helmets, but Kor’s avatar preserved incredibly hard verekan skull, and now he had two-kilogram metal device in the place where usual ponies have brain. There were no chances to griffin to remain conscious.

It was the end of the battle. Researchers won both its rounds.

Imperials were shocked. They could hardly take it in: their best warriors were defeated without any difficulties, and defeated not by pegasi or unicorns, but by earth ponies, the ones with the most limited fighting possibilities! But it happened. They lost. So, as people of honor, they conceded.

“Well…” ambassador said to princess Celestia. “We recognize our defeat. You have proven that you are stronger. We shall forget about the incident and continue our diplomatic mission as before.”
“Thank you, mister ambassador,” Celestia nodded, “We pay our respects to you. But let me assure you that this misdemeanor will not go unpunished. We will find who had done it, and this pony will bear full responsibility for his actions. Mister Obsidian Glaive,” she addressed the deputy commander of the guard, “I entrust you to find the culprit of the incident. When you find him, bring him to me and mister ambassador.”
“Will be done, Your Highness,” answered Obsidian Glaive.
“Thank you,” ambassador bowed.
“There is no need in it, mister ambassador,” said Celestia. “It is our duty. But for now, let’s get down to the negotiations.”

Griffins gave a nod. Celestia stood up and went down from the elevation, Edez and Kor followed her.

Equestrian officials who were in the throne room together with some guards escorted delegates and princess to the main conference hall. Diplomats sat at the table, servants brought documents, food and drinks, guards stood at their posts, and negotiations had begun.

These negotiations turned out to be one of the most successful in the history. Celestia couldn’t remember such productive dialogues with people of Empire. Usually proud, arrogant and stubborn griffins were unnaturally accommodating, diplomats of both nations managed to made a lot of cooperation agreements and commercial treaties – presence of Edez and Kor near Celestia did miracles. Within princess’ recollection, these europonians were first ponies after Star Swirl able to shush a griffin in one look.

In six hours they had discussed almost all items of agenda and dealt with today’s incident. Half of hour before the end of the meeting Obsidian Glaive came to the conference hall and brought the culprit. Bolide wasn’t angry, rather just a bit discontented. He had been hauled over the coals already, so got the realization of what he had done. He apologized to everyone and said that he will accept any punishment. Celestia and Obsidian Glaive and griffin officials discussed how he should be punished, but before they brought in their verdict, they addressed researchers. After all, Bolide did this to set them up. Kor and Edez exchanged a few words and said that for such misdemeanor he must be punished, but he managed to become an elite guard, and it will be a great regret to lose a good soldier. He should be given a new start. Thus princess, deputy commander of the guard and ambassador of Empire made their decision: Bolide remain in the guard, but will be demoted from lieutenant to sergeant.

Soon after this negotiations were over. Equestrian and Imperial officials stood up and bowed to each other. Princess Celestia thanked everybody for their cooperation, mutual respect and productive work, then she addressed to servants and guards:

“You can be free, and you, Berg, Erő,” she turned to researchers, “I ask to stay.”

Surprised researchers responded with a nod. Delegates, officials, servants and guards meanwhile started to leave the hall. Soon Celestia, Kor and Edez were alone.

The hall doors closed. Researchers turned to princess to learn why she asked them to stay, but when they did it, they saw something what was difficult to believe in: diarch of Equestria, majestic, noble and calm pony, was smiling from ear to ear and literally shone with happiness.

“Oh, Berg, Erő, I don’t know how can I thank you!” she said. “You saved this day!”
“Eh… Thank you very much, Your Highness,” spelled Edez, “but we didn’t deserve such gratitude.”
“We just did our job,” said Kor.
“Don’t underestimate yourselves! You defended honor of our country, and you acted nobly with Bolide. You made griffins accommodating like never before! It’s just amazing!”
“Well, generosity, forgiveness, determination and courage when necessary are one of the traits that everypony should have, as we think,” said Edez. “And what about griffins… It was just physical implementation of simple psychological method.”
“If you put a show-off on his place, he will be very calm and obedient, at least for some time,” said Kor. “The same was here.”
“So there is nothing special in it,” said Edez.
“Still thank you!” exclaimed Celestia and… pulled researchers towards herself and kissed both of them – Edez first, then Kor.

World turned upside down for Kor and Edez. They had no idea that such thing could happen. But it happened, and now they were in the deepest stun. Kor just dropped out of reality. Edez managed not to fall into a trance, recovered in several seconds and started to raise his foreleg – he was going to interrupt. But overjoyed Celestia understood it differently and kissed him the second time. So he also got serious need in brain reboot.

After some time they finally came to their senses. Celestia still was smiling, but calmed herself down a bit.

“Thank you very much again,” she said. “You are heroes of this day and did amazing job. You deserved a good rest.”
“Thank you,” nodded Kor and looked at his colleague. “Well, let’s return to Ponyville then.”
“Agree,” said Edez.
“Go. Good luck!” said Celestia.
“Goodbye!” said researchers.

Kor and Edez went to the doors. When they were already near, curator stopped, turned to princess and said:

“Eure Hoheit, das war fantastisch!”

Celestia got surprised when she heard it, but then lowered her head a bit and smiled, like saying “let it be our secret”. She stood up, and researchers opened the door before her. They left the hall, gave each other the last nods and went away.

Edez and Kor returned enchanted armors to Blued Steel, said goodbye to their new friends and left the castle. In half of an hour they got to Canterlot train station and took the last train to Ponyville.

It was late evening already, so there were not so many passengers. In their car they were the only ones, and they will be alone for next three hours until the very arrival to Ponyville – there were no stops on the route. There was no need to hide, so they were themselves.

“Well, that was something!” Edez broke the silence when train left Canterlot.
“Yeah…” nodded Kor. “I don’t remember such things in all two and a half centuries of service!”
“And I – for whole millennium… But it was awesome, agree? We saw and explored the greatest building in this country, became official guards of another royal residence, met amazing guys and became friends with them, defended the honor of the country and… got kissed by the monarch.”
“I don’t know how I’ll justify myself in front of Karin now…”
“…the most magnificent, astonishing and lovely pony.”
“You really liked her, I see?”
“Oh yeah… She’s very wise and intelligent, calm, generous and gentle, and that… moment showed that she’s also kind-hearted, bright and vivid, and in general she is absolutely adorable! And she’s incredibly beautiful.”
“We definitely got used to guises of ponies.”
“Not only because of that. She is very graceful, has bright eyes, splendid manecut, small waist but wide hips – everything that dreketanian men value!”
“And what about spike on the neck and beard?”
“Well, everything can’t be the way we want… By the way, I’ve been wondering, how are you doing with Karin? I understand that you match each other because both of you are quite a rebels, and both of you are perky, but… your difference in size!”
“Well… That’s an issue, but it makes our relationship more interesting! And, by the way, with such girl as Karin I have everything at my fingertips.”
“Oh, you…”
“Oh yeah… Well, what we are going to do? We’ll be on the road for six more supramoments, and having only conversation is just boring.”
“I have a suggestion.”
“Yes?”
“Particularities.”
“Eh, I know only several parts – it won’t be enough even for three supramoments.”
“Don’t worry, I know all of them.”
“WHAT??? All 17946 quatrains?”
“Yes.”
“You are monster.”
“If you have a century of free time, it’s the least you can do because of idleness. So, let’s start then?”

Kor gave a nod, and they began to sing:

“Akda, stel-cejgrem, shu fattid taari,
Nva tejmae khordue madi shtenari…”
[And now, dear friend, allow me to tell
How you should please different alien belles…]

In evening Dodge City one gray stallion in shabby cape, clomping, turned off the street into a driveway, sat in a shadow, growled and grabbed his head with his hooves.

“Khedag torku…” [Damned body…] he swore and growled again.

They made the greatest improvement of body regeneration technology for last two millennia for this mission, but it still failed. Even the most advanced system couldn’t completely adapt an alien body for existence without life construct the first time. All the stimulants what they got haven’t sufficient power, organism still needed the energy of life for maintenance of its integrity. Without it the body decayed. He was rotting alive, shuddering in incredible pain.

The life construct has one particular feature – it can’t be completely reproduced artificially. Even the eldest civilizations haven’t mastered such technology. So, to stop these torments, there was only one way out.

“E-excuse me, sir, are you all right?” a stallion voice came from the street.

Quasi stopped to growl, but didn’t respond.

“What happened to you? Are you injured?” asked the stallion, coming closer. “Is there anything I can help you?”
“Yes…” Quasi spelled and sharply stood up.

With corner of his left eye he scanned the surroundings and, having seen no one around for many yards, turned to the passer, looked at him with both his eyes and opened his mouth.

Device of direct contact was activated, and in a second existence of the stallion was terminated. A dozen of metal tentacles with spikes on their ends shooting out from Quasi’s mouth were the last thing he saw in his life. Tentacles dug into stallion’s mouth and deeply pierced the flesh. Seven spikes reached the brain, three ones pierced the back of his throat and dug into spinal cord, the last two pierced the tongue and trachea and reached main blood vessels, and then the taking was started. Just in two minutes Quasi sucked out stallion’s life forces, transferred his mind into own memory blocks and put it into hibernation – such a sample shouldn’t be lost.

When everything was done, Quasi deactivated the device of direct contact. Tentacles hid inside his palate, stallion’s dead body fell down. Now he won’t have need in additional sustenance for two weeks. He shall look for necessary information in the taken mind later, now, since he took someone’s life, it was necessary to leave a deterrent. Quasi dragged the body behind dumpsters and piles of boards and bricks and, having released his metal fingers-claws, tore stallion’s head from the body. He looked at the results, grinned and threw the remains on the ground. It is time to begin the main phase…

Grace, Razor Edge, Cloudbreaker and Dim Silhouette lie on couches or sat in armchairs in the living room of their Ponyville headquarters and waited for the chief. Today something very important has to happen to him, and they wanted to know how it would be.

They looked at the clock again, and right at this moment a sound of opening door came. It meant only one thing.

“Hiya, Hid!” said Grace, “How was it?”
“Yeah, tell it to the suffering public!” added Razor Edge.
“Well…” spelled Hidden Path, walking to the center of the room. “You were right, guys. A little date was exactly what I needed.”
“That means everything was well, right?” asked Dim Silhouette.
“Yep.”
“So, what did you do?” asked Grace.
“Nothing special. We just walked around the town and visited the park together, chatted, had a lunch in a café, then had a dance… I gave her a bouquet and plushie… That’s all. But it was wonderful. Calma was wonderful.”
“Well, if you started to call our suspected by their real names, is says a lot,” grinned Cloudbreaker.
“You really liked her, right?” asked Grace.
“Yes,” Hidden Path smiled. “She’s sweet, lovely, smart mare with beautiful color of coat, very rare for her homeland… Those her scars? Half of my body covered with scars, and so what? It doesn’t matter! And… I don’t know how to explain this, but she had special effect on me. During the date we kissed twice, and all the times when her lips touched mine, I felt as if I fall into paralysis. For a couple of seconds I was completely stunned.”
“Well, that sounds like the spark ignited in you,” noted Dim Silhouette.
“Maybe. She likes me very much, and I started to like her…”

At this very moment they heard loud signal of their telephone from the cabinet.

“I’ll pick up!” said Hidden Path and run to the cabinet.

He was absent just a minute, but when he returned to the living room, he was absolutely different stallion – grim and dismal, all his joy completely vanished.

“Pack your field sets. We have to go to Dodge City,” he said.
“What happened?” his colleagues worried.
“There has been a brutal murder. Local police have no idea who could do it.”
“But why do they need us?” asked Cloudbreaker.
“They say that this murder couldn’t have been committed by any known creature.”

Unicorns and pegasi silently gulped.

“No…”