Subject 27

by Phyrexian

An Unexpected Journey

Chapter 70 - An Unexpected Journey

Nothing like being outside, with the sun’s warmth on my scaly back, the wind blowing through my horns while plummeting to the ground once more. Oh Murphy, you cruel bastard you! “YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!” I yell at the top of my lungs, cursing his nigh-unbreakable law.

Tail on the other hand, seems to be enjoying his first time free-falling; he’s swimming about in the air, pretending to be a bird while the roof of a house becomes ever larger by the second. A flash of yellowish orange explodes near the ground, spitting Cloud from it’s explosion and sending her crashing through a window like a rock.

“CLO -.” I slam into the roof; hitting it with enough force to make me ricochet into a nearby tree; and with just enough momentum left to fall face first onto the dirt. My bones practically throb with a dull pain as I eat dirt; at least my scales took the brunt of the force.

- - -

“PRHL, you alright?” This is exactly why I hate unicorn magic, or just magic in generally really.

“No, not really. I could ask the same thing to you.”

“At least you’re still breathing... I-Is that a hoof I feel in my gut?” Either that or his horn... Hopefully the former and not the latter.

“Neither, that’s another false rib. Hold still.” He says, dislodging the rib from my gut and welding it back on.

“Third time isn’t the charm, heh.”

“I take it that this happens a lot?”

“Everytime I’m teleported by unicorn magic, this is what happens... I’m grateful that Parasitic magic is more lenient on me.”

“Because I know what I’m doing, unlike most ponies.”

- - -

“T-Talk to me!” Cloud calls out from inside the house, I only manage to reply with a grunt.

“Shut the buck up! Some ponies like to sleep in!” A familiar voice shouts from the second floor of the house.

Tail helps me back to my feet, I crack my neck and my joints before making my way to the door. “I-I really hate unicorn magic.” I cried.

To my surprise, the front door is unlocked, I push it open and walk into the house. I see Cloud laying on the living room floor in a bed of glass shards; I’m astonished to see she’s unscathed. “I said SHUT THE BUCK UP!” The same voice from before hollars, this time hurling four large empty liquor bottles down the stairs at us; shattering against the hardwood flooring.

Cloud’s agility allows her to dodge the bottles with ease; I roll out of the way and towards the stairs. “What the hay Bell? It’s me, Cloud!” I grab ahold of the railing, ascending the staircase.

“UGHHHHHHH!” Bell grunts, the next thing I see is a large green ball of magic barreling towards me; no room on the stairs to dodge it and not enough of a clearance for me to jump over the railing; the ball makes contact, sending me tumbling back down the staircase while frying the scales on my chest.

“M-Medic!” I pathetically cry out, only to be answered by the one thing I didn’t want to hear.

- - -

“Medic can’t help you here, boy!” Friend replies with a southern accent so thick I could cut it.

- - -

I drag my horns across the wooden floor while I pull myself up, only to see a large pink cannon come crashing down the stairs at me. Tail quickly intervenes, intercepting the random, oddly colored siege weapon. He didn’t anticipate the cannon’s mass, the belly of the cannon love taps the back of my horns, giving me a mouth full of splinters as my head hits the floor.

“27?!” Cloud shrieks; silence is the only thing that follows.

“Finally,” Colt and Bell sigh in unison, Tail desperately tries to balance the cannon a few inches from my body; Cloud flies over me, up the stairs, and into Colt’s room.

“What the hay guys?!” Cloud whispers, Colt looks up to see her hovering over the pile of bodies on the bed.

“Ugh... Trixie should be asking you that, what with all the noise...” She complains, rubbing the sleep from her eyes; trying to force them to adjust to the bright sunlight.

Tail gets a firm enough grip on the siege weapon, allowing me to crawl out from underneath of it. “I think you really hurt 27, Colt!” Cloud whispers loudly.

“I set him on fire before, gravity couldn’t do much worse.” I grab hold of the wall with my blunt claws, pulling myself back up on my feet; Tail sets the cannon down at the foot of the stairs, it’s muzzle aimed straight up the staircase.

“That green ball of magic hit him dead on, then you threw a cannon at him... Where in the world did you find a pink party cannon?!” Colt quickly points to the pony that he’s using as a pillow.

“Hello!” Pinkie Pie shouts, unfortunately right next to his ear.

“Whatever. Get up Colt! 27 needs your help!” Cloud grabs his hand with her forehooves, flapping her wings furiously.

“Aww, I don’t wanna leave bed, we can clean up blood later... Fluttershy, help I’m being kidnapped!” He shouts, when suddenly a pale yellow blur removes Cloud from Colt’s arm.

I brush myself off, the charred scales flake off; revealing a fresh batch of scales to take their place. I spit out the splinters from my mouth onto the ground. So far, of this past week, this day has been one of the betters ones so far. “Get your hooves off him missy! *hic* I-I mean, i-if you want to...” Fluttershy orders with her trademark shyness.

“Wait, what? If I want to? I want Colt to get up to go help 27!” I give the cannon a quick look over, no fuse, just a pulley on it; maybe it’s loaded? An idea pops into my head, when Colt steps into the line of fire, I’ll get some much needed payback.

Colt solemnly sighs in response. “Fine, if you’re so sure he’s broken, Compassion, mind taping 27 back together?” He asks, the white being materializes from a bright white light.

“Yes, no pro -.” Compassion says before bumping into a wall, knocking herself out.

“27! Are you alright?” Cloud asks.

“Fine, I’ll fix ‘im...” Colt says, standing up from the litter of mares. He heads over to the bathroom, filling up a cup of water and walks over to the door leading to the hallway.

Patience is a virtue, one that I practice on a daily basis. Wait for it, wait for it... Target in sight, weapons fire! I yank on the cord; the cannon’s loud bang echoes through the house. “BOOM! HEADSHOT!” A carrot cake rockets out of the cannon, effectively lodging a good portion of it in Colt’s ear; the rest of it plastering his head; he turns his head to stare at me with a few pieces of cake dripping off his face. “Really?” Being a marksman has its uses; even though this isn’t the proper way to apply my many unique skills.

“That’s what you get for leaving me down here!” I heartily laugh.

“I didn’t put you there, gravity did, now back to bed.” Colt says, just dropping the glass and heading back into his room; cake still stuck to his head.

I run up the stairs, doing three at a time. “You’re the one who sent that green ball of death my way! If it wasn’t for my armor, I would be in some serious pain right now! Then you throw a fucking cannon at me! Honestly, who throws a cannon?! You fight like a woman.” I clear the stairs in no time. I walk into his room to see a pile of mares on his bed, Cloud hovering there with a smile on her face.

“Few things to correct there, I didn’t throw the cannon; I rolled it. Secondly, how the fuck would I fire a ball of magic at you? That was Bell; she’s a mean drunk she i -.”

“I heard that!” Bell shouts, throwing a pillow that hits him in the back of his head.

“Everybody up, that’s an order!” I command.

“No! Trixie needs her beauty sleep!” She says before she fires a barrage of pillows at me, one hitting me square in the family jewels.

- - -

“I am assuming control.” Lighting Charmer pipes up, I get the feeling he’s about to do something that I’m going to be paying for; dearly.

- - -

I look down at the puddle of Bell in the mess of ponies on the bed with a grin on my face. “‘Sup, Cheeselegs.” Cheeselegs? I don’t get it.

Bell shoots me the meanest stare I’ve seen in a long time, the type of stare that says ‘I’m going to eat your fucking soul’, that kind of stare. “Come again?”

Tail doesn’t like a messy room, nor any mess in fact. He’s a bit of a neatfreak if you ask me. So he picks up all the pillows off the floor and gently tosses them back onto the bed at Pinkie Pie. “D-D-D-Did I st-stutter, Cheeselegs?” In the next instant, all I see is a flash of dark green and a slight tingling sensation...

- - -

“Why?!” I ask, free falling... Again...

Well, at least on the bright side, I wasn’t teleported too far up. Maybe only a hundred feet? “Why what?” Lighting replies innocently.

“Why did you go and piss her off?! She already hates me enough as it is!” I retort.

“I’ll tell you when you’re older.” Really? I’m technically 32,754 years old! I can’t get any older! I’m old enough to be this guy’s great to-the-tenth-power grandfather!

- - -

“B-Bell?!” Cloud screams. “W-What did you just do?!” She grabs ahold of Bell.

“Ten... nine... eight... seven... six...” Bell continues to count down as Cloud holds her.

“Why are you counting?! Where did 27 go?!”

“Three... Two... One...” Tail, positions himself under me, the power PRHL gave me flows through Tail. Select scales on him raise up and powerful jets of bluish flames erupt from Tail. Slowing my decent enough for me to have a ‘softer’ impact. I collide into the roof of Colt’s house again with a loud thud. I slide off the roof, taking a few shingles with me and landing on my back; causing the air to be knocked out of me.

- - -

“Tail?! Why didn’t you do that the first time!?” I thought to myself, only getting a shrug from Tail.

- - -

Cloud whizzes over to the window to see me laying on my back gasping for air. “I REALLY hate unicorn spells...” I moan.

“Just be glad you weren’t too high up, now back to bed! Come on Colt!” Bell orders, Colt mindlessly follows her instructions.

I eventually get back up with a little of Tail’s help. I feel like hell, nothing seems to be broken at least; no internal bleeding that I know of. Lighting Charmer shifts about inside me, letting me know he’s still alive after that second round of massive blunt-force trauma. I stagger back through the front door, march back up the stairs, and into the room. “A: Did I mention that I REALLY hate unicorn spells?! 2: It wasn’t I who called you Cheeselegs, well, it was me but not me. And C: I’ve fallen from much greater heights and survived.”

“I was wondering when you would introduce me to the changeling living in your body...” Bell says knowingly.

Cloud turns to me in disbelief. “27... Somepony is literally inside you right now?!” A fusion of intrigue and shock plasters itself onto her face.

“Why yes Cloud, a changeling has turned 27 here into their toy. Can’t you tell?”

“No...” Cloud merely replies.

I shed my scaly armor, revealing my swagalicious suit. “It’s a long story Cloud.” I straighten up my tie, completing my look.

“And depending on how this changeling got in you, it might be a VERY long story.” Belle says, winking at me before giggling like a filly.

Whelp, looks like the cat is out of the bag, I would prefered it if they didn’t know about Hyper Crasher’s and I’s excellent adventures together. I can’t look Belle in the face so I turn and stare at the wall. “I don’t want to talk about that long story...” I mutter under my breath.

“You sure? I thought you might like a coltcuddler story.” She says with a grin.

I can’t help but blush a little, I slink back into the corner with Tail tucked between my legs. “Maybe when you’re older.” Maybe when you’re, I don’t know, one hundred years old?

“I can’t believe a changeling got into you in BOTH ways!” She says falling to the ground laughing.

My face becomes even redder, Tail moves in front of my face to hide my blushing cheeks. “Technically it was a pegasus...” My voice barely audible while I whimper in the corner, just wanting this all to blow over.

“Pfft HAHAAHAHAHAAAHA!” Belle starts rolling on the ground she’s laughing so hard, Colt gets the last part of it and can’t help but to laugh as well.

Cloud flies over to me and hovers in front of me. “27, mind telling me what they’re talking about?” I peek out from behind Tail to see Cloud holding back her own laughter.

“Silver Wing lost a bet to Hyper Crasher... I... He... We...” I pause for a second, trying to think of the right words. “It was actually quite enjoyable.” Cloud’s jaw drops, she glides back to the bed and joins in with the merriment of laughter.

“Y-You’re telling me that you were the ‘prize’ in a bet, and whoever won got you in bed for the night?” Colt asks, holding back with every fiber of his being, trying not to laugh.

I move away from the corner, the cat is out of the bag and if they must know then I shall tell them the short version of the story; I’ve never really been the kind of guy who kisses and tells. Tail strokes back my horns, giving them a polished sheen; I then straighten up my suit jacket. “Let me clarify something; I was blind and exhausted when I walked into the room. Silver Wing was in a heated argument with Hyper Crasher while I was undercover playing the part of her pet. Several bets were made in Cloudsdale, mainly between Friend and Fade. Which started a whole slew of bets involving me... Hyper Crasher won the bet between Silver and himself, and his reward was to do whatever he pleased to me for one night...” I manage to say all of that with a straight face while my blushing cheeks return to their natural color.

“So long story short; you got your brown cherry popped as a prize for the bet...”

Scratching my chin, I take a few moments to collect myself before answering. “I can’t exactly tell, but that wasn’t my first time playing for the other team.” It didn’t really hurt as much as I thought afterwards, just slight discomfort but Fade numbed what little pain there was.

The room went silent for a few seconds before everyone all returned to laughing their respective asses and or flanks off at my story, even Fluttershy was giggling about it. I let out a long, drawn out sigh. “Come on now everyone, I’ll make us breakfast, put your requests in now. If not, I’m making a big pile of hotcakes.”

“Don’t forget to add the sausage dude!” Colt adds before falling back on the bed in hysterical laughter along with Belle and Trixie, Pinkie Pie was nowhere to be seen, and Fluttershy was blushing while she looks away.

They got their jabs in, now it’s my turn to take a couple of my own. “Oh? You’d like some of my sausage too Colt? You’re not my type but I’m willing to oblige.” Score one for me.

“Sorry man. Even if I was into that, if I cheated on these girls I don’t think either of us would like the resulting situation.”

“Sex is just sex mate, strictly mechanical. Only there for fun and reproducing.” Cloud nods in agreement.

“Eh, not on this side. Plus, how could you say ‘no’ to this cuteness?” Colt says as he holds up a blushing Fluttershy.

“She’s cute and all, but she’s no fledgling, those things are too kawaii.” I want one, I want to go steal one. I just might do that...maybe.

“Never much of a bird person. Plus with my current reputation with gryphons, I don’t think having a baby one around would look too good.”

“Speaking of gryphons, working for the Family was a pretty cushy job, and fun too.” I smile while I look down at my suit.

“Eh, I burned that bridge early on, not to mention I CAN’T FLY!”

“I’m pretty sure I was fired after my duel with the Don... I think Cloud was too, weren’t you?” Fired isn’t the proper word to use, but he doesn’t need to know that little detail.

“Yeah, but my family is safe now, so I can rest easy.”

“Hey, can we go fight them now? I am still pissed that they had the nerve to corner Belle and I in a bar, cowards.”

“I don’t think that’s possible. When the Don cut good ol’ Tail here off... Everything went red. Don is dead now and I’m here.” I doubt that Razor will do anything too irrational while I’m still a possible threat.

“Why isn’t it possible? Before I came here, I thought assaulting someone with cake was impossible, then I met Pinkie Pie.” Both Cloud and I look at Colt, our heads cocked to the side with a confused expression on our faces.

“What?” In unison, we question Colt’s nonsense.

“Nevermind, get cooking manwhore, I gotta put on some pants.” I don’t like being called manwhore by someone who shouldn’t be alive right now...

“I’ll let that one slide on by, I need to change before I get started.” I take off my jacket, tie and shirt. My horns glow a faint green and outcomes a pair of urban colored camo pants from my chest, along with my Lunar Medallion.

“Oh, looky ‘ere, Mr. Fancy pants.” Colt mocks in a poorly done british accent, failing miserably.

“No matter how many times I do that, it still feels weird...” I blatantly say before taking off my pants, and putting on my camo pants.

“27, how does it feel to have a full grown changeling inside you?” Cloud asks.

“Cramped, at first, but I’ve adapted to it.” I slip my medallion on around my neck before folding up my suit.

“So, any chance we get to meet your new owner dude?” Colt asks, referring to how Silver treated me like a pet.

“Owner..?” I bite my lower lip before continuing on. “I don’t have an owner any more.” I say with a pained expression masking my face.

“Ah, you traded in the old one for a new one? Well I wanna meet this one before he goes down the tubes as well, plus if he is one of Belle’s underlings, this could be fun.”

“Bullshit, you’re as strong as Trixie when she’s mad.” Colt says, smiling at Trixie who’s still zoned out.

“Let me ask if Lighting Charmer wants to come out or not, he’s been busy working on my heart.”

- - -

“Hey PRHL, seems that everyone wants to meet you, care to join us?”

“I’m quite fine in here, thank you.”

“Don’t be shy.”

“Twenty two percent.” PRHL flatly states. “I’m not coming out until you’re stable.”

“They can wait to meet you.”

“I thought as much.”

- - -

“Yeah, no, status report isn’t good; at all. So he’s staying inside to make sure I don’t keel over anytime soon.” I simply shrug. “Colt, I remember doing surgery on you. Lift your shirt up, I need to see how well you’ve healed.” He does as he’s told, lifting up his shirt reveals a faded scar across his chest. I take a closer look, inspecting the scar I left on him. I run my hand along it, Colt shivers from the cold contact of my claws. “Seems that you’ve healed quite nicely, a little too nicely I might add. This doesn’t look like Daimon’s sloppy work, let me take a wild guess, shall I? Someone ‘new’ showed up, am I correct?”

“Nah, long story short, the one who has always been healing me is Compassion, Daimon only slightly boosted her abilities in battle. That’s why they were a bit sloppy, but since Compassion has full control in healing, she can take her time and do a good job.”

“I see. Alrighty then, just to give you my report when I was poking around in you. You’re as healthy as a horse; so to speak. I didn’t feel any abnormal growths, nor see any decaying organs. Although after your little meltdown, you need some protein in you. Before your muscles start to decay, which would release toxins into your bloodstream; eventually causing your kidneys to fail.” Which isn’t the prettiest thing, nor a pleasant experience.

“I’m sure it’s under control, right Compassion?” Colt asks as everyone look over to the bright white figure collapsed next to the doorway. “Eh, never mind, breakfast it is, heavy on the protein.” With that said, Colt takes the lead and everyone follows him down to the kitchen.

“Okay, what does everyone want for breakfast? I’m cooking so don’t be afraid to ask for anything.” I ask, already washing my claws in the sink.

“I always have eggs, the girls usually have waffles and toast or cereal and fruit.”

“Okay, how would you like your eggs cooked?”

“Edible, I ain’t a picky guy.” I look back to Colt, seeing him sit down at a poorly put together table, held together by duct tape. “I was going to fix this last week but the girls insisted that I stay in bed and that they nurse me back to health. The uniforms didn’t help, but they looked so freakin’ adorable.”

“Hey 27, you need any help with preparing breakfast?” Cloud asks, seeming slightly bored with the slow morning.

“If you’d like to help, you could always go to the edge of the forest and grab me some plants for spices.” Cloud’s face brightens up and she eagerly nods. “Okay, the ones I need are easy to spot, they grow at the base of trees in shady areas. Small green plants with yellow stems, three clovers on it, can’t miss ‘em. I need just a few to get Colt’s eggs down.” With that said, Cloud flies out of the back door with haste.

Tail searches through the cupboards and drawers, it doesn’t take him long before he finds what he’s looking for; he sets the table, fork, knife, and plate for everyone. It doesn’t take Cloud to long to return with herbs that I requested. “Piece of cake!” She says triumphantly.

“Yeah, that’s them alright, thank you Cloud.” I grab the herbs from Cloud and place them on the cutting board, I go to dice them up with my claws but stop; noticing that they’re too dull to cut anything. “Hey Colt, you wouldn’t by chance have a whetstone, would you?”

“Farthest drawer on your right ya dingus!” Tail finds the drawer Colt’s talking about, he fishes out the stone and hands it to me.

“Thanks, claws are duller than a spoon.”

“Then why not have some cereal?” Pinkie Pie asks, pulling out a box of Hay Flakes.

“I’ll pass, I need some carbohydrates for-.”

“You mean this thing?” She says, pulling out an atomic model of a carbohydrate molecule... I’m not even going to ask.

I mechanically turn my head to Colt with a utterly stunned look. “D-Did that just happen?” I stutter horribly.

“That’s my girl!” Colt says as he takes the model and puts it on the shelves with the other random things.

“How, in God’s green earth is that even possible?!” It’s bloody witchcraft, that’s what it is! It has to be!

“I-unno” The both of them say in unison as they shrug their shoulders before sitting down at the table.

“That’s the coolest thing ever, Pinkie! How long have you’ve been doing this?!” Cloud’s voice filled with joy as she falls down on her haunches.

“What, you mean stuff like this?” She asks, defying so many laws of nature and physics as she pulls out the party cannon.

I stop paying attention to everyone in the room and get to work on sharpening my claws. A loud cracking noise fills the room as I begin to sharpen. Everyone looks at me while I stand there silently with a horrified look on my face. My index claw broke off from my hand and soundly lodged itself in the wooden floor. “Dude, I think we broke 27, mentally and physically.” Colt says, pointing at my claw.

“Well then, this is awkward.” Cloud chimes in, taking a playful jab at my misfortune.

I just stand there, taking in what exactly just happen, only soundless words escape from my lips as I stand there. “...” I apply pressure on the stone with another claw, it too splinters itself and flies into a cabinet.

“This is really awkward.” Cloud takes another playful jab at me.

“Hey, don’t be too rough on him or else you two may never have fun again.” Belle whispers to Cloud.

“Do you think it’s possible?” Cloud whispers back.

“I don’t thi-.” Colt interrupts Belle just as she starts speaking.

“Yes it is, and it’s not pretty.” He demonstrates this fact by snapping a toothpick.

Tail grabs the stone and strikes another claw, causing it to shatter against the table as it rockets off my hand. “I... I...” Why am I breaking?!

“Okay, this is getting bad. Cloud tape him back together while I cook breakfast, Pinkie Pie just don’t do anything you would normally do until we fi-.”

“Know what? I just don’t care anymore, I’m retired so I don’t need my claws anymore.” I take both hands and sink my claws into the countertop, with one swift jerk of my wrists; I snap off the remainder of my claws; leaving just broken, jagged stubs of their former self. “There, declawed. Colt you take over cooking while I try to figure out what the hell is happening to me.”

- - -

“Hey Friend, mind telling me why my claws are breaking?”

“A better question is why are cats so adorable?”

“I-.”

“Of course you don’t understand! Simply put, you’re just like a big, scaly, cat. When your claws become dull, they shed.”

“Wh-.”

“You have two sets of claws, don’t you?” I nod, a little peeved that he keeps on interrupting me. “Then use your other set until your new ones come in!”

“Okay, b-.”

“Begone with you!”

- - -

This is most unbecoming. It seems that I’ve been stuffed into a cannon. “So, would someone mind telling me why I’m wedged into a pink cannon?”

“Because the cannon demanded a sacrifice and you were chosen, you are the weakest link; goodbye.” Colt says as he fires the cannon, but due to me being stuck in the cannon, the cake has nowhere to go, or just seeps out of the small gaps in the cannon’s mouth.

“Great, now I got carrot cake in my scales. You know how hard it is to clean under scales?” I yelled.

“Oh, it wasn’t carrot cake; it was fudge. And I’m guessing by the amount of force this thing kicks out, your scales aren’t the only thing filled with fudge now.” Colt says as he falls down in the chair, laughing.

“Just get me out of here before this fudge hardens!” I try to struggle, but only force more fudge deeper into my orifices.

“No problem, Pinkie, a little help here?” Colt asks the bloated pony only to see her hop up, belch, releasing all the air that was supposedly inflating her.

“‘Scuse me.” She says, pretending to be embarrassed as she trots over to me. She grabs my horn and easily yanks me out... She’s deceptively strong.

“I give up. You Pinkie Pie, you my dear, have no limits.” Tail coils around Pinkie Pie, giving her a big hug for helping us out.

“Of course I have limits silly. I’m a pony, I can’t be a platypus!” She states before bouncing back to her seat.

“She’s got you there dude.”

I find a loaf of white bread sitting on the counter, I take it and start to devour it. “Cloud... Tell them where... We’re going...” I say in between bites.

“Oh right! I almost forgot! So, while I was working for the Family, I-.” She stops and looks over to Colt with a regretful look on her face. “Sorry Colt, for lying to you like that.”

“Don’t be. You were terrible at it.” He says while he pats her on the head.

“Yeah, 27 is the better liar after all, but this is besides the point! So, while I was in Family, I was given a task to find a hideout suitable for my little gang of ponies and gryphons I had working under me.”

“Was 27 working under you as well?” Colt teases Cloud.

“I wish! But he had to be in Unyasi...” She pouts.

“Oh yea, that’s where he got that Silver what’s her face, how she been? Haven’t seen her since I was a human matchstick.”

With the last bite of bread in my mouth, I swallow it whole before answering. “That wound is too fresh for me to be picking at it. Please, let’s not talk about Silver Wing right now.” I solemnly say.

“True, true.

“Aww but I like fresh wounds, the taste of your own blood is uncomparable.” Daimon chimes in.

“True.” Colt says as he nods at Daimon, who was now standing directly behind Cloud for some odd reason.

“So how has Fade been, hmm?” Daimon asks, staring right at me.

“Daimon, who is Fade?” Compassion asks as she appears next to Daimon.

“Remember the one who invaded our mind? That one.”

“Ah, her.”

“He means me, sweetheart,” Fade’s cold aura fills the room after she appears next to me, holding her slightly bulging stomach.

“Hey there Fa-.” Daimon interrupts Colt.

“Fatty fatty two by four, can’t fit it through the kitchen door! Hahahaha! You’re fucking enormous! Have any mountain climbers placed flags on you yet?” Looks like Daimon is finally showing his ‘mature’ side.

“Try living with him...” Compassion says as she lets out a long, drawn out sigh.

The area around Daimon flash freezes into a solid block of ice, he simply walks out of it.

“Aww, she gave me a present, something as cold and heartless as me; how sweet. Also the iron maiden has been asking if you would ever come back and play Fade, don’t leave her waiting.” He’s still holding onto that megar achievement? Pathetic.

“I’ll dev-.” Fade takes a step towards Daimon with ice shards in hand, I intercept her before she has the chance to turn the entire house into an igloo.

“Hey hey! Take it easy now Fade! There’s a time and place for everything-.”

“Looks like the time and place you’re talking about involves an all you can eat buffet.” Several shards of ice whizzes past my head, everyone in the line of trajectory hits the ground like a sack of potatoes. Expect for Colt, he’s slower than rock on the fast track to nowhere. His poor reflexes earn him a beating by ice shards, due to the odd angels they were shot at the ends dull before hitting him.

“Ouch, hey free ice!” Colt shouts before he begins eating the ice.

“Would everyone kindly shut the hell up before someone gets hurt?!” I struggle to hold Fade back.

“Nah I’ve had my fun. Now tell the cow that if she ever wants to visit she knows where to find me, and that the iron maiden is waiting for her.” He says before fading away, leaving the room covered with random chunks of ice and Fade seething with anger.

“Hi Lady.” Rage says while tugging at Fade’s dress.

“Oh hello there little guy, aren’t you cute?” Fade greets Rage with a warm smile, Tail picks up Rage, cradling him with care.

“Careful Fade, he is made of fire.” Colt reminds her.

“And how old might you be, cutey?”

“I dunno, whenever daddy killed mommy...”

“What’s with you humans killing your own families?” Fade turns to me, I in return only look at Colt.

“My dad was a sociopath, kinda caused me to develope Daimon and Rage here, not to mention possibly countless others who are still dormant in my mind.

“At least you knew your father...” I blatantly add, as the poison dagger of doubt and remorse stabs at me again; knowing my child will be growing out without a father.

“Well, you want him? I would prefer to not have a father then have one kill my mother and aim a .22 at me.”

“You humans are sure a violent bunch.”

“Would somepony turn the heat back on? I’m freezing my feathers off over here!” Cloud says before cuddling up next to Belle whose teeth are chattering.

“Rage, mind helping her with that?” Colt asks the little flame ball, he burns brighter and brighter, slowly returning the room’s temperature back to normal.

“I’m going back inside 27 now, the baby is starting to stir and I’m hungry.” Fade gives me a quick peck on the cheek before returning.

“27... How did you impregnate her exactly? I don’t want the details, I’m just wondering how you basically got part of yourself pregnant...” Colt asks with a deadpanned expression.

“Technically, she’s not a part of me. I made a contract with Fade whe-.”

“I don't care about that, how the hell did you get her pregnant? Seriously, you might as well tell me you donated a kidney to Friend.”

“You need to understand something first. Very much like Friend, who’s a demon that can merge souls with mine or forcibly take it, so on and so forth, Fade and I merged souls together. Which has never been done before in the timeline of Nightmare Moon, until now that is. So, when her and I merged, I’m guessing that’s when it happened, and now I have S.O.S members trying to assassinate Fade and I.”

“Hey stay around for a bit then, Daimon hasn’t been able to let out his feelings all week due to the girls confining me to the house, he needs to hit something soon.”

“Well, here’s the thing, before we got sidetracked by this long conversation. My crew and I found a bunch of hideouts for us to use. We settled for one in Trottingham because it was close. We also found this abandoned mining house that I thought might come in handy if anything went south. I told 27 about this while he was in the hospital and he thought it would be a good idea to go there, fix it up and turn it into a livable house. I wanted to know if you guys would like to help.” Cloud explains, while 27 nods in agreement.

“Ah, okay. . . . So did you sleep with her too?” Colt asked again.

“Who?” Cloud raises an eyebrow to the question.

“Whoever was in the hideout, everytime you go somewhere you find a new girl to rut, now what is it this time, a dragon, or a snake or something?”

“I’m assuming this question is directed at me.” I state.

“Well unless Cloud has been bed-hopping like you, you’re correct.”

“I never kiss and tell, and remember, if anything happens to you, Fade and I will elope somewhere.” Cloud teases.

“We’ve already went over this. I told you that’s perfectly fine with me, and Fade liked the idea.” Or it seems she did.

“How did we manage to get ourselves tangled up with so many females dude?” Luck is a skill. That might have to do with some if not most of it for you.

“I couldn’t tell you if I knew the answer. All I know is back on Earth, I was a loner.” I shrug.

“So, did you want to come with us and fix up the mining house? It will be fun!” Cloud tugs on Belle’s shoulder eagerly.

“Why not? Could give us something to do for awhile, and we can’t have Colt running off and hurting himself again.” Belle says, giving Colt an odd look.

“I could always use an extra set of hands to help me with the house; you know anything about carpentry, plumbing, electrical work, or construction?” Pretty much any form of hard labor.

“I’m good with fire.” Colt says nonchalantly as his hand bursts into flames. Pinkie’s eyes go wide as she runs for a bucket of water and dumps it on his hand, no effect.

“Don’t worry Pinks, it’s a mild flame. I had a lot of free time to learn this while you had me under house arrest.”

“So let Trixie get this straight... You were bed ridden from being almost burned to a crisp and you spend the time... Playing with fire...”

“Yup!” The room’s temperature drops noticeably, Colt turns around to see Tail engulfed in blue flames as he slithers behind Cloud.

“Hey, it’s one thing if I burn the house down but I am not going to sit here and let you do it?” I don’t keep a tight leash on Tail, ever. So sometimes his actions go unnoticed by me.

“What are you talking about Co-?” Tail coils around Cloud, successfully startling her.

“Huh, she isn’t burning, guess I can stop this then.” Colt says, clapping his hands together, causing the flames to dissipate.

“S-Stop it 27! Your flames are really c-cold!” Cloud screams.

Pinkie Pie gasps in sheer joy, she suddenly licks Tail, effectively attaching her to it like a metal pole in winter. “Ey, ith colth.” She says before she tries to remove her tongue only to have her head jerk back forwards.

“Okay buddy, that’s enough horsing around, cut it with the frost-fire.” Tail cocks his tip at me, only to drop it in disappointment. Tail’s scales return to their resting position, snuffing the flames. He unravels himself around Cloud, letting her drop to the floor. “Okay, we’ve wasted enough time already. I’d like to her to our destination before the storm rolls in.” I announce before heading to the front door. “Pack lightly please, I-what are you doing?”

“Bandaging my hands, they were just on fire dude, I ain’t flame retardant.” Colt says. I don’t know why I’m surprised by this.

“Honestly Colt, why do you do this...” Belle asks.

“I dunno.”

“I might be able to make you a potion to help you with your flammability, pyro.” I announce.

“Nah, I’m fine. Knowing you it wouldn’t be the potion I need. The one time I would need to be flame retardant in battle you would give me a little red ‘stamina’ potion just to mess with me.” I don’t know why he would turn down the offer, one would think that any creature would like to suffer as little pain as possible.

“I wouldn't fuck with you, I would merely poison you, but that’s beside the point. We need to get going.” I was probably a little forthcoming with that, maybe a little too forthcoming.

With everyone distracted by Colt’s and I’s antics, Belle sneaks over to Cloud. “Psst.” She whispers.

“What?”

“How much for one of those stamina potions?”

“Huh?”

“How much for one of those stamina potions?”

“Oh, I can’t make ‘em, but I can ask 27 to make one for me, why?” Cloud whispers back in a hushed tone.

“Well... You know... For reasons...” Belle says twiddling her hooves.

“Oh. OH! Okay, I get it. Do you honestly have that problem with Colt?”

“Not even, but he’s only been with each of us one at a time. If we were to say, have a slumber party, he would need help. I doubt any stallion can handle four mares.” Belle says looking over to the two of us mindlessly talking about random things; breaking seems to be the subject.

“You want to know 27’s secret, how he manages to go on for long periods of time?” Cloud jabs at Belle with her wing.

“Not being with four mares at once?” Belle says deadpan.

“I don’t know what he’s done, or whom while we were apart from each other. But, what Fade told me is he and Silver spent entire day and night going at it! Then she went on about how he uses Tail for some rather, unique techniques.”

“Yeah, but has he ever just dedicated a day to satisfying you?” Belle raises an eyebrow and smirks.

“This is the first time 27’s been out of the hospital, we literally just met again since he left. I don’t even think his body is ready yet.”

“Well why not test the waters? After all, fall just started and hearth’s Warming Eve isn’t too far off, if you get what I mean.” Belle says, poking Cloud with her wing.

“Oh, I get what you mean. Why don’t you and I go upstairs to your room and have a little fun of our own?” Cloud winks at Belle.

“No thanks. The five of us are still worn out from last night’s ‘activities’.” Belle says in a vague manner.

“I don’t mind doing all the work, I know of at least two sensitive spots on you.” Cloud seductively brushes her wing against Belle’s horn, causing her to twitch. This only annoys her and Cloud ends up floating a few inches off the ground enveloped in a green glow.

“Sorry, access denied.” Belle says, sticking her tongue out.

“Your tongue, the things you could do with a forked tongue would be intense!”

“Oh, you have NOOOO idea hun.” Belle winks, dropping Cloud on her haunches just as everyone starts heading for the door.

“Hey Cloud, mind packing my suit in your saddlebags? Gramps threatened to kill me if I ruined his masterpiece... Oddly enough I don’t think he was joking either.” Everytime I think about that, a chill runs down my spine.

“Oh, yeah sure thing 27.” Cloud replies back, breaking their little private conversation.

“Okay everyone, pack lightly please. The sooner we got there, the better. We only have a small head start before this storm rolls in.” The dark clouds are still off a ways, but I can already smell water in the air.

“N-No problem, just this.” Fluttershy squeaks, revealing a small first aid kit with Colts’ name on it.

“Alrighty 27, your suit is tucked away, is everypony ready to go?” Cloud flies back down stairs, opening the front door. We all nod in response before filling out the front door.

I’m the first one out, I begin stretching, especially my leg. “You up for a brisk run, Colt?”

“Fuck...” He abruptly answers.

“It’s only an eighty mile run, roughly.” Should’ve been a ten foot walk if that Shell Shock spell didn’t backfire as expected.

“I can barely run a mile, let alone eighty, fuck it, I’m going back to bed!” He announces turning back towards the house.

I could use a good workout, so putting Colt on my back would be like using a weighted backpack. “Who said anything about you running?” Tail grabs him by the waist, reeling him back from the door.

“Oh.” He says before hopping on my back. “Run you filthy peasant!”

“Easy now boyo, I need to finish stretching out before I put the team on my back and carry you all to the promised land.” Tail grabs him again, lowering Colt off of my back. “Fluttershy, are you a strong flyer?” I ask as I bend over backwards; keeping my feet firmly planted on the dirt. My answer appears right before me as I see her struggling to carry the small medical kit. “Okay, what about you, Belle?” I ask, kicking off the ground and swinging my legs over my head; my core lets out a most satisfying popping sound. “Oh that felt grand!” I cried out.

Without uttering a word, she flies up overhead, doing various maneuvers; showing off her flying abilities. “Alright, looks like you’re a strong flyer like Cloud; good, that will save some weight then. I should be able to carry about four hundred pounds, Colt, how much do you weigh?”

“Two hundred somethin’, or I used to before my body was fuel for a fire. So now I have no idea.” He emphasizes this point by showing him how baggy his clothes are now.

“Hold still then.” Tail pick him up, lifting and lowering him a few times before setting Colt back onto the ground. “I can tell you this, you’re a lot lighter than you were the last time I had you on my back.” Which seems like ages ago, right after the facility. “You’re a solid one hundred seventy five pounds, glad to see you’re in a healthy weight zone, just don’t go doing it again.”

“Do me, do me!” Pinkie tackles Tail, wanting to use him like a living weighing scale.

“Okay Pinkie Pie, you’re just about sixty pounds. Trixie, you’re next.” Surprising since all I seen her eat is bakery related food.

“Awww.” Pinkie Pie says as her hair audibly deflates.

“That isn’t too much Pinkie Pie, plus it makes you better at hugging.” Colt chimes in before scooping her up.

“Really?” She asks, poking her stomach. “Guess it does!” She gives him a quick hug before bouncing off back next to Fluttershy.

“Trixie does not want that, thing, picking her up, it looks weird.” She states, prodding at Tail with a stick.

“How does Tail look weird? If anything, he’s just six-.” Come to think of it, he feels a bit longer since he regrew. “Seven feet of loveable Tail.” Note to self, measure Tail next free time. “Mix in a little prankster and some “unique” abilities for fun, and you get one Tail.” Tail eagerly nods his tip in agreement.

“That’s the thing, Trixie doesn’t know where he’s been,”

“Oh don’t worry, Tail is very particular, and I can’t stress the word nearly enough, on how much I clean him; he’s obsessed with it.”

“Okay, but no funny business.” She states, glaring at Tail.

Tail slithers over to Trixie, curling up in a small, round platform; waiting for Trixie to step on. “Go ahead Trixie, Tail is a gentleman after all.”

“Fine, but if he does anything weird to Trixie, you will be dealt with in the same manner as last time.” She inspects Tail’s attempt at a scale before cautiously stepping on him.

“Now, was that so hard Trixie? You’re about fifty five pounds; give or take a pound or two.” Trixie’s jaw drops.

“Aww come on Trixie, fifty five isn’t that bad, now cheer up.” Colt tries to consult her, but she just slowly walks back next to the pink sugar ball known as Pinkie Pie.

“Last, but not least, Fluttershy.” Fluttershy, with medical kit in tow, steps on the scale Tail provided for her.

“Are you okay down there?” She asks Tail.

“Fluttershy... I don’t know how to say this... But you weigh sixty pounds...”

“Oh my!” She says worriedly, dropping the medical kit with a resounding thud.

“Oh honey, that medkit just shaved off a few pounds, you now weigh thirty pounds.”

“Did I really put on that much weight?” She asks, inspecting her flank, drawing a jealous stare from Trixie.

“How much do you normally weigh, Fluttershy?” I ask while she steps off of Tail.

“Last time I was almost twenty eight, I have been a lazy flank haven’t I?”

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m a whopping two hundred thirty pounds of muscle, that’s not factoring in the one hundred pounds of Tail I’ve been carrying around.” Or at the very least, I’d like to think I weigh roughly two hundred and thirty.

“It doesn’t... I’m sorry...” She says before hovering back over to the group.

“Hey Belle, you mind carrying the medkit? Every pound I can shave off from my payload means I can go faster.”

“No. Colt, incoming!” She shouts, before hurling the medkit at him.

“Okay then... With the medkit, I’ll be carrying three hundred and fifty pounds on my back, out of four hundred.” I let out a sigh before dropping down to all fours. “Okay, everyone find a comfortable position.” I order.

“I call back seat!” Pinkie shouts, diving onto Tail.

“Before we get started, I’ll be playing some music from my PDA.” I reach into my pocket, fishing it out. The screen flickers to life as I turn it on. “Okay, music starting shortly, everyone else hop on so we can get this train going.” I then lean over, allowing all to try and pile up on my back with Tail carrying Pinkie Pie and Cloud and Belle flying alongside.

My scales erupt from my skin, covering my body. The dull claws quickly turn into their jagged brethren with the appropriate pylons. “Everyone keep their limbs inside the vehicle while it’s in motion, don’t want to poke someone’s eye out with my spines.”

“Sorry dude, but a fence already beat ya to it.” Colt chuckles.

“Everyone comfortable?” I turn my head to see Colt sitting cross legged with Trixie in his lap. Tail contorts to accommodate Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy to sit comfortably. “Okay, we’ll be starting off slow until I’m warmed up, then all bets are off!” I readjust myself, making sure I can properly move. All systems show green, Fade numbing my left leg for me, full tank of gas; time for a workout. The sudden jerk of me taking off almosts sends Colt tumbling off of my back.

“Colt, what’s touching Trixie’s flank?” She asks, bouncing around in his lap from the slightly bumpy ride.

“You know, the usual.” She seems to take this the wrong way as she blushes crimson.

This run is going to be a long one... “Oh come on, lemme show ya.” No, please no, not on me, no no no. unfortunately.

Credits

Editors

frieD195 - Tsujin Rilauco

Co-Author

Some Guy Who Writes aka Itsmyfuneral (Author of The Darkness Within Us All).

Author's Note:

I need to say this, I do not wright any dialog nor do I change any dialog that belongs to the following. Colt, Belle, Trixie, Pinkie Pie, and Flutter shy. The Author of - The Darkness Within Us All - writes all of his dialogs and I wright all of mine.

He controls the actions of said listed characters and I control my characters.

Comments

[TheAuzzieBrony]

Wow! I come home from camp to see you and IMF have updated, and I thought 'NICE!'. But to finish reading the chapter to see only 31 view and no comments makes me kinda sad to see this story dying. But never mind, I shall stick with you till the end! =D

[Dragaen]

lol