Gummy's Secretive Life

by Vanilla Mocha

Thursday

Dear Diary,
As you know I wake up in the morning and eat breakfast. But before I eat breakfast I take a shower. But before I take a shower I use the toilet. But before I use the toilet I make my bed. But before I make my bed I wake up in the morning and eat breakfast. But before I eat breakfast I take a shower. But before I take a shower I use the toilet. But before I use the toilet I make my bed. But before I make my bed I wake up in the morning and eat breakfast. So yeah, that's my morning.

I ate some dog food for breakfast and then sat on the sofa and turned on the TV. We have cable so we get a bunch of channels. I surfed through the different choices. All that was on was some paid programming. I don't like paid programming because I enjoy the Spanish channel a lot more. I like making up my own dialogue for the people. It can be really fun, actually.

Then I heard a knock at my door. I was hoping to see Trixie. But no, it was a guy named Discord. He stood there, and then when he saw me he gasped. He called me a "cute turtle" and then walked inside.

My mom, Pinkie Pie, was in her bedroom. She had no idea that we had a guest. I would have told her, but she was very busy. She was trying to look 'fabulous' for her diva white friend's fashion show.

So I invited Discord to sit on the couch and to watch some paid programming with me. He didn't want to, so I told him he could change the channel. He put on a western movie from the 1950's.

While Discord sat in the living room, I went into the kitchen and got some food. I didn't know what Discord liked, so I got a little bit of everything. I got some cookies and tacos and cake and brownies and fudge and macaroni and green beans and carrots and steak and bread and pudding and lettuce and chicken and pizza and pie and dumplings and soup and frog legs and gator tail and pig legs and bacon and sausage and eggs and pancakes and toast and waffles and you know you can't have waffles without the syrup and syrup and escargot and shrimp and cat-fish and tuna-fish and bass-fish and some tiny minnow-fishes. Then I got some juice boxes.

Discord thanked me by saying "Thank you," and then he ate the syrup and drank the waffle. Then he also ate the juice. When he was done with that, he drank the juice box.

For the rest of the afternoon I sat on the floor with my laptop chatting with Trixie.

My mom came out in her taco-colored morph suit. When she saw Discord on my sofa and me on the floor with my laptop, she screamed. Then she hushed herself and said, "Yo podría no saber Inglés, pero sí sé la lengua de los burritos de frijoles!"

That cute turtle thing,
Gummy

Author's Note:

I knew I'd give Gummy an exciting life, but I never thought it would come this far.

Comments

[Paradise Oasis]

Ok... if Disocrd is behind all this craziness, I can buy it. Otherwise... I can't make head or tail of what is going on in this story!

[The Hermit]

I don't know English, but I know the language of bean burritos.