Winter Aurora sighed as she sat down. Maybe, someday, a pony could look at her and not see the slightly-rotten body, the mangled face, or the empty eyes, but could look past all that to her soul. See that she wasn't as evil as everypony assumed. A tear dripped down her face, falling to the dirt in front of her hooves.
"I didn't ask for this..." Winter sobbed, raising her head. "Why?" she howled at the rising moon. "I didn't want any of this!"
Her hooves struck at the dirt. "It... It was just an accident!" she complained, her memories drifting off to the events of a few months ago.
A white filly with a light blue mane smiled at their mother. A party hat rested upon her head, and a cake sat in front of her.
"Happy birthday!" her mother said, smiling almost as wide as the filly. She held out a beautiful gold necklace, with a pendant featuring a phoenix carved into a well-cut ruby. "Blow out the candles!"
Winter blew as hard as she could on the six candles. It took a couple tries, but she managed to blow them all out. She hugged her mother after trying a slice.
"My favorite flavor! Thank you so much, this is the best birthday ever!"
Winter winced. She couldn't have been more wrong. A moment later, she heard hoof steps nearby. She ducked behind a tombstone and turned her head away, knowing it was only delaying the inevitable. The maze of graves she was hiding in was only so large, and as soon as the pony saw her face...
"Why is a little filly like you hanging out in a graveyard?" the stallion asked gently as he came up behind her, easily spotting her white form in the dark. "That's my job, I'm the local gravedigger. Are you all right?"
Winter could only choke back a sob and shake her head. The stallion responded by walking closer, and Winter flinched away, hiding her face.
"What's wrong?" the pony asked quietly. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you."
"Y-you will." Winter's protest was slightly muffled as she attempted to talk through her mane.
"Please, I don't want to hurt you." the stallion's voice ached with sympathy.
"Maybe you don't want to yet," the filly replied. "But you will."
"Just turn your head toward me. I promise you, I would never hurt anypony."
Winter swallowed, and her wings shifted. She turned his head to meet the pony, a hopeful expression on what was left of her face. Maybe- just maybe- this one was different? That hope fell when the pony's face turned from sympathetic, to shocked, to angered as he saw her smashed face and the ruby pendant around her neck.
"You're no pony! You're a Lich!" the pony spat. "Be gone, before I call the guards on you!"
Winter turned her head away quickly, and got to her hooves. In her experience, it was time to get away, before the pony tried to hurt her or brought other ponies to hurt her. She stumbled off as fast as she could with her filly-sized legs, hoping that the pony didn't try to follow her.
"And don't come back!" the pony hollered, and Winter gave another sob. It was always the same. Ponies cared so much when they thought she was just a normal filly, but the moment they learned she was a Lich... They turned on her. They always did. Even her own mother... It was all that dumb stick's fault! Winter sobbed once more as another old memory surfaced in her mind. Another memory of that day.
Winter smiled. She was having such an amazing birthday! Her friends were all there, mother gave her that beautiful necklace, and there was even a cake! Winter hummed a pleasant tune while as she entered the forest. While it could be dangerous, especially to fillies like herself, she had been taught from a young age how to get around safely and avoid all of its dangers. All ponies in the settlement she lived at needed to enter the forest sometimes, to get berries. They were really tasty! Winter saw a bush of particularly good berries in the distance, and gasped. She sprinted towards them, flapping her wings to gain speed. She may not be able to fly yet, but she could certainly use her wings to speed up. A moment later she was sent head-over-hooves as she tripped over a medium-sized stick with some markings on it.
"I wonder who made you, and why?" the filly asked no pony in particular as she studied the stick. It was obviously hoof-made, from the smooth finish and strange markings. She felt the markings with a hoof, and shivered. Somehow, it just felt... right.
Winter jerked back to the present as she saw a light in the distance. She sighed, almost beyond hoping at this point, but it was all she had left. She started off towards it, slowly but surely. Her body wouldn't heal like it used to, so she was very careful to avoid damaging it whenever possible. The heavy snowfall made it difficult to move quickly, but it cushioned the impacts of her hooves on the ground. She didn't feel the cold anymore, either. Not since her 'death'. The houses drew nearer, and Winter couldn't help but let her old hope rise up inside herself.
What if these ones were different? What if they understood her? What if... What if they let her be their friend?
She walked slowly and carefully, seeking out the graveyard. They always made her feel better, somehow. She could see the Crystal Empire only a few miles away, close enough that she could go there next... if they weren't going to run her out or kill her. Before she even got close to the graveyard, a mare screamed.
"M-monster! Help! Somepony, anypony!"
Winter flinched and continued to the graveyard, her head falling as she plodded on. There was less snow now, due to the warmth from the houses, so she could go a little faster. Already, the mob was starting to assemble, ready to chase her out. Winter ran behind a tombstone and closed her eyes tightly, summoning up the power inside her. A medium-sized stick appeared, carved with various runes. Winter levitated it in front of her, and used its power to amplify her voice.
"Stay back! I don't want to hurt you!"
Somepony screamed, and the advances stopped. Winter closed her eyes and cast another spell, creating a wall of ice between her and the mob. They could get through it if they really wanted, they had torches after all, but the very display of power scared them.
Winter gritted her teeth. This is it. That's the last time I try. I have finally lost all hope. Another spell was cast, and a dead pony began to rise from its grave. The villagers were shocked, and ran in fear. Soon Winter was all alone. Again. She closed the gate, and began casting spells to raise more of the dead. Now I'll do what lichees are supposed to do. I'll raise the dead, populate this graveyard...
She growled. "This isn't what I wanted!"
A large collection of ponies in various decomposed states stood before her, silent and unintelligent. She controlled their every action through her staff. She flapped her wings and flew in the air, scouting out the surrounding area. It would be nice to know when guards would come try to oust her.
"I never should have touched that stick," Winter sighed. "It ruined everything!"
Well you have my attention I'll be lurking around. I'll never miss a story with a liche in it.
5081729 Liches are as awesome as they are underused. The idea of a friendly one is even rarer. I like the idea of turning things most people think are inherently evil into innocent good guys.
Interesting story and I am looking forward to see the next chapter
Hmmm... not bad for a start. I have to question, how and why does everypony know she's a litch? Undead features, somewhat intelligent, does not automatically mean Litch. Also, is there like Litchs roaming to countryside? How would common villagers know what a litch is? These are minor complaints which could easily be explained in the world lore, but right now just kind of stand out as trouble elements with little to no reason.
5081745 If you saw her face, you'd instantly know she's undead. It's kind of rotting and smashed in a bit. That will be explained later. Secondly, I'm no undead expert. However, her phylactery should make it fairly obvious what type she probably is. I should go back and make sure I say she's got her phylactery on. Thirdly, in this world Lichees are dangerous and common enough that everypony is warned about them, yet still fairly rare. Basically it's like how parents warn children about thieves: They're fairly rare, but you need to know about them because their threat level is high.
Thank you!
Edit: the phylactery bit is fixed now.
5081757
That's what bothers me, they are rare. But between zombies, vampires, mummies, and what not litchs should not be immediately recognizable at least not to someone who has no experince with them. So unless undead are as common as say bears, where people of the area can recognize the difference between a black bear and a brown bear the standard response should be, "Aaahhh, Monster!" Or "Z z zu ZOMBIE!" the guard most likely would recognize a litch, or an undead hunter. But standard villager has a fair bit of ignorance. I guess the reason I have trouble with it being common knowledge is that it makes the common ponies look like they are fairly experienced with undead and different types of them.
Litch lore dictates that only the most powerful of spell caster's can make themselves into Litchs, so the idea that a pegasus filly could become one is almost inconceivable. From what I've read it seems like a curse, so lay pony like her mom with basic knowledge would think something is wrong and get her checked out. But if the population has no knowledge of such things they would assume she died as was raised as a monster.
5081828 You make a good point, I may be changing the response, or maybe that pony was a lore keeper... or something.
She's a pegasus filly who accidentally got turned into a Lich due to an accident involving a magic staff (mentioned) at the moment of her 'death'. The staff is very powerful, and the raw emotion the filly felt at the moment of her 'death' caused a spell to be cast accidentally. Not a curse exactly, but she didn't really want the eternal unlife of loneliness. She'd be perfectly happy if ponies cared for her. As for the ponies who assume she died and was raised by a monster? Well, think back to Zecora. Her only difference was a striped coat. How do you think ponies would feel about a pony who is literally dead on their hooves, practically immortal, with a rotting and smashed-in face?
Thanks!
5081844
Hmm.. He was in the gave yard maybe he could be the grave digger, or mortician. Also about that stick I can't help but imagine her as a sick twisted version of a magical girl. You got to give her some gruesome familiar as a parody of the genera.
Also yep standard pony response to strange is fear, also for the form of your terror being a little filly it would be extra terrifying. There is an undead, I can't recall at the moment that would take the form of a crying child all to draw the victim in to eat them. So many experts would guard themselves against such a trap.
5081883 This is why I love comments so much: they help me improve my story to address the concerns of the readers, while improving the accuracy of my story! Thanks so much!
By the way, how does a dead cat sound for a familiar?
5081922
Your welcome, I like the idea behind your story. Sad lonely girl, forced to endure hardships forced on her by society, blessed with a power she never wanted. It rather standard fare, but with a nice twist. I look forward to seeing more.
5081844
There's a lot of potential here, but there's also a lot of questions.
It's usually very difficult for even a powerful wizard to become a lich. Like some vampire mythos, the individual usually wants it to happen, because the state of undeath enhances their power, as well as makes them night invulnerable as long as their phylactery is intact. Voldemort wasn't considered a lich, but he's a good example of what one would be.
Average ponies wouldn't recognize the difference between a lich and a zombie, especially if she looks like she's rotting away. I get the impression that the staff itself is the antagonist in this story... some kind of semi-sentient artifact that took away her life (and death for that matter) and gave her some additional powers like control over corpses. Being a pegasus, Winter obviously doesn't (or didn't) have the magical proficiency that unicorns do, but there is a line from a story set in a D&D realm that went "So what if he wasn't a wizard. Wizards can be made." If the staff has any intelligence, it used her naivety about magical things when it created her, and now exerts a measure of control over her actions.
Since most authors don't write about liches at all, never mind benevolent ones in pastel pony land, as the author, one of the things you'll need to do is establish a headcanon about what it means to be a lich in Equestria. What makes your lich different from an intelligent zombie? If she has magic, why doesn't she just use a glamour spell to hide her rotting, smashed in face? Is the staff her phylactery, and if so, shouldn't she either be worried about it getting destroyed or be actively trying to destroy it so she can finally rest? How many years has she lived like this?
If she does have a familiar, the idea of an undead cat is interesting. Possibly another accident... most of the zombies and skeletons she raises are mindless automations, but this cat has a spark of intelligence and free will that doesn't exist in the others. She doesn't know how or why it happened, but is glad for it anyway.
Just throwing some stuff your way... maybe it sticks, maybe it doesn't.
5082186 I like it when people throw things at me! Once in a while, it's useful.
First off, her Lichiness was an accident caused my the staff. (Her soul wasn't bonded to it, however, it was bonded to her necklace. The staff just cast the spell.) In this case it happened because of the emotion she felt as she 'died', and to quote the future story, "I don't want to die." is what she says as she is passing away. The wand takes that wish, her emotions, and its own magic and swirls them together to get a Lich. No, the staff is not sentient.
Wizards can be made? Exactly. It's only been a few months since her 'death', so she can't do much, but next chapter will have her at a year since her 'death' and she will have learned a total of... 5 spells. So, if she can find a pony who can teach her a glamor spell to cover her face, she could totally do that. However, the issue with that is that nopony will go near her for long enough to teach her anything. She has to figure it out for herself. That hasn't even occurred to her yet.
I just can't get this out of my head...
Slight intelligence for her undead cat friend? Sounds good to me. Now all I need is a name...
Thank you for the advice!
5082401
I think you should consider how she uses magic, very carefully. Magic for a litch is not unusual, but for a pegasus it is. Imagine if in some Harry Potter Fic a muggle was suddenly able to cast magic without a magic wand, it kind of goes against the rules of magic in that world. so in the pony world, having a Pegasus become a magic class would be unusual, she might as well have sprouted a horn. now if all her magic was borrowed from say the magic stick, and all power came from said stick things would fit a little better into the setting. not saying that Lichs don't have powers of their own, but lich hood shouldn't grant the power of wizardry. The reason for this is wizards created Lich spells to extend their lives, but they alredy are powerful casters, what create a for that grants them a power they alredy have?
If you want her to learn and grow as a caster she could learn to use the stick and how to channel her pegasus magic into it in order to power it.
As for suggestions for a familiar, a zombie cat named Stitches. =P just a suggestion.
So, different start. Here's for hoping she becomes op.