“Jeez... I wish I could have brought Spike with me here, his writing is so much more legible than mine.” said Twilight and sighed as she closely examined what looked to her like a strange big saddlebag, something the alien had reportedly been wearing when it was caught in Manehattan.
“Hmmm, it’s made from some kind of tough grey fabric... doesn’t feel like anything I’ve felt before... maybe get Rarity to look at it once she’s done with it’s clothes.”
She rotated the courier bag in the air with her magic, looking at it from every angle.
“There seem to be clasps underneath the flap for securely closing it... made from another unknown material... not closed.”
Using her magic, she opened the bag and laid it down on a table in front of her, squeeing with excitement as she looked into it.
“Okay Twilight, keep it together! Keep. it. together! Whew...” she muttered to herself as her magic held the bag wide open.
“Insides of the bag seems to be divided into smaller compartments, each specialized to hold specific items.”
She pulled out a the bottle of soda, setting it down carefully on the table and puts a label next to it.
“Item number one... a clear blue bottle-like container with an unknown liquid inside... material of the bottle is unknown but seem to share traits with the material the clasps on the bag are made of. Printed paper label seems to be glued to the bottle, likely for identification purposes.”
Looking more closely at the writing on the label, she continued.
“I do not recognize any of the symbols on the label, but the patterns they are put in suggests it is written text. Colours on the label are green, blue, white and yellow.”
“Item number two...” She said quietly while simultaneously pulling out the next thing and noting down everything she said.
“... appears to be a flat, rectangular, tin container... containing... pencils?” her face betrayed a slight disappointment that it had not contained something more interesting and foreign.
“The pencils are masterfully crafted and a lot thinner than any I have seen before, but are apparently made from the same materials as Equestrian pencils and work in the same way.”
Pouting slightly, she pulled out the next artifact.
“Item number three... appears to be a sketchbook, with remarkably fine paper... much smoother than any paper produced here in Equestria. A more thorough investigation of what has been drawn in it must wait until preliminary examination of all the alien artifacts has been completed.”
Next up she pulled out eight almost identical items.
“Item number four is in fact several seemingly identical items... they are made of the same mysterious material as the clasps and the bottle, except for small slivers of metal on what appears to be removable protective caps.”
She cautiously pulled the end cap off of one of the devices, revealing a small metal tip.
“When cap is removed, device resembles a pencil made from the mysterious material and has a tip of metal instead of charcoal. It seems a safe assumption that this is some form of writing implement.”
Twilight put the ball-point pen to a piece of paper and wrote out her name with it... her jaw dropped as she observed the coloured ink mark the page with a fine and even line.
“Uhm... a uhh... a quick experiment proved this theory to be true... the entire collection of these...” Her eyes shifted from side to side as she slipped half of the pens into her own saddle-bags.
“Uhm... these uhh... four writing tools appear to be used to write in different colours. Finding out how these can be replicated may very well revolutionize writing in Equestria.”
She reluctantly put down the remaining four ball-point pens on the table along with their own numbered label.
‘Unbelievable... so many important new discoveries. All in one simple saddlebag. This is amazing! This is... This...’
Twilight thought to herself as she got more and more excited about the implications of the discoveries she was making, needing to take a few deep breaths to calm herself down before she could continue.
“Okay... Item number... uh... five.” she said pulling out a small, dark and flat object with a smooth glass surface on one side.
“Hmmm... this seems to be made from both metal, glass and more of this foreign material that many of the other things contained.”
Starting by examining the glass covered side, she was suddenly stumped as to what this might be.
“The glass surface has markings appearing to be inside the glass as opposed to on it... near one end are three markings put close together, somewhat resembling some of the lettering on the label on the bottle.”
She quickly re-checked the bottle label, nodding as she confirmed her suspicions of the markings being letters.
“Near the opposite end are four markings, evenly spaced out to fill the entire... breadth? Height? Uh... the entirety of what I believe to be the breadth of the artifact.”
If the lettering at one end and the lettering on the bottle was anything to go by, they were an indication of a portrait format instead of a landscape format. With this perspective in mind, she examined the other four markings.
“The leftmost of the four markings is a pentagon with the two bottom angles being right angles, it looks like a symbol made to resemble a house... the next symbol is three simple parallel lines, resembling a bit of text... the next is a bent arrow, pointing left... the final one being a circle with a line protruding down and to the right... slightly resembling a magnifying glass.”
More closely examining the glass surface revealed more oddities, causing more questions to pop up about this alien device.
“The glass is extraordinarily smooth and free of scratches, there are however a few smudges on it’s surface, but I can’t tell if this holds any significance... near the trio of markings is a long, thin indentation with tiny holes in the metal frame and next to that a circular indentation.”
To Twilight it didn’t seem like there was more to see on this side, so she flipped it over.
“Near the middle of the opposite side the trio of letters from the glass surface is repeated, finely stamped into the metal, it would seem... near each end are two areas with a slightly rubbery feel to them... one of these areas has two glass-covered circular indentations and a small version of the long indentation from the opposite side. The function of these elude me as the device seems to be inactive.”
Next, she examined the edges of the device, finding two holes in it and two bits that extruded from the frame by a tiny bit.
“The extrusions are small and unseeming and their functions a mystery... the holes are different from each other, one is round and deep while the other has a strangely flat but irregular shape and visible bottom... perhaps meant for connecting with other devices?”
Not being able to figure out the function of this device, she laid it to rest on the table next to it’s label.
“Item number five seems masterfully crafted and designed... it might even be a unique or rare artifact, extra care must be taken when examining it further.”
She delved back into the bag but only found a few loose bits of paper and cardboard with writing on them as well as what she deemed to be a keyring with a collection of keys... they were different form Equestrian keys, having been made out of flat bits of metal, but it was hard to mistake their function.
Twilight was simply bursting with excitement over all this and had to talk with somepony about it. So she trotted over to where Rarity was examining the clothes they had gotten off of the alien being.
“Hey there Rarity.” she said with barely controlled enthusiasm.
“Hello Twilight, these items are just fascinating, don’t you think?” replied Rarity.
“I do! Just the things in the saddlebag alone could probably have me busy with research for YEARS! This is amazing!”
“Really? That’s marvelous darling! These clothes are fairly straightforward when keeping in mind that they’re made for a bipedal creature. The quality is good, but not as good as I could make them myself.”
“Sooo... not very interesting?
“Oh no! Quite the contrary or as the say in Prance ‘au contraire’ my dear. You see, all over these clothes I’m seeing signs that they were all mass produced.”
“Mass produced? Why would anypony mass produce clothes?”
“Nopony would, because as our dear Applejack would so aptly put it, we don’t normally wear clothes.”
“But a species that does...” mouthed Twilight as her eyes grew wide.
“Exactly... whatever it is, there’s many more of them somewhere, and they all normally wear clothes... oh dear the cultural implications!” Rarity’s eye sparkled with excitement.
“Also darling... the fashion of these clothes is fairly recognizable, I myself wore a sweater not unlike this one, during my trip to Canterlot back before that birthday of yours eight years ago.”
“Oh? What about this hat then? It looks a little bit like Applejack’s.”
“Yes... and for the life of me I can’t figure out why somebody would wear that with a sweater like this.”
Twilight merely raised her eyebrow at this little bit of irrelevant information from the fashionista.
“This hat was a bit of a mystery to me in more ways than one however... you see the material it is made of is tough and pliant, but also fairly smooth and soft to the touch, but most importantly... it’s completely water-resistant.”
“So... what is it made of?” Twilight asked
“It took me awhile to figure out, but I believe it’s made from the skin of a dead animal.”
“Wha...!?” exclaimed Twilight taking a step back... pointedly moving away from the hat.
“Yes... my reaction to the epiphany was not unlike yours... but I must admit that the attributes of the material are impressive. Disregarding the rather macabre origins of this hat, I do believe somepony like our dear Applejack would appreciate something like this.”
“Let’s uh... talk about the other clothes.” Twilight awkwardly said.
“Indeed... see these? The alien wore these underneath the other pants, I don’t quite recognize the fabric type, but they are silky smooth to the touch.”
Twilight grabs them and feels them.
“Oh wow! You’re right Rarity, these feel great!”
“The fact that they were worn underneath the outer layer of clothing as well as information from the report of it’s capture, leads me to believe that the long legged pants are meant for protection against the elements, while these are meant for another sort of protection.”
“Mhmmm...?”
“The creature has no fur coat to speak of which would necessitate clothes in most climates, but what caught my eye in the report was that when it’s clothes were removed, it’s reproductive organs were discovered to always be unsheathed, which would necessitate a more delicate fabric to protect them from chafing.”
Twilight Sparkle very suddenly stopped softly rubbing her cheek against the smooth fabric of the undergarments and instead started blushing furiously.
Rarity on the other hand was working hard to stifle her laughing at the poor unicorn.
Soon after Twilight hurriedly left the Clothing research station, having completely forgotten to ask about the materials used to make the alien’s saddlebag. Returning to her own station to see Pinkie Pie looking over all of the things on the table with wide eyes.
“Hey Pinkie Pie.”
“Hi Twilight! Have you seen all these things? Some of them are really weird and don’t look like anything I’ve ever seen before, which is weird because I’ve seen a alooooooooooot of things, but I haven’t seen these things before, have you seen them before?”
“Yes Pinkie, I was the one who unpacked them from the saddlebag.”
“Oooooooh, then now what are you gonna do with them?”
“I’m going to closely examine each thing to find out exactly what they are.”
“Ooooh, oooh, oooh, OOOH! Can I help?”
Twilight thought about this for a moment before agreeing, she was going to start with the bottle of liquid anyways... nothing much dramatic could come from that.
“Alright, just follow me Pinkie.” said Twilight as she grabbed the bottle with her magic and took it to a seperate table.
“Okie dokie lokie!” replied Pinkie Pie, bouncing to the opposite side of said table.
“Well,” said Twilight “I’ve already examined the outside of this bottle, so I think it’s about time I try opening it.”
At that moment Pinkie Pie felt a few unfamiliar twitches and a chill running down her... chin? While Pinkie Pie contemplated how a chill could ever run down her chin, Twilight Sparkle opened the bottle... and something dramatic came from it, spraying all over the two mares.
“Oh sweet Celestia! It’s a bomb! It’s poison! It’s a POISON BOMB! Everypony run for your lives!” Twilight yelled untill she heard the sound of Pinkie Pie’s raucus laughter.
“Pinkie Pie! What are you doing?”
“Oh Twilight, this isn’t poison.”
“It isn’t?”
Pinkie Somehow managed to lick the liquid from the entirety of her face with one swipe of her tongue.
“Nope, it’s lemon soda! And it’s delicious.”
Twilights eyes went a little twitchy as she put the cap back on the bottle of soda and placed it back on the table with the other things.
Then she exited the research lab and headed for the shower... deciding not to go back there for the rest of the day... this day had been more than long enough.
Poor Twilight... rubbing day old underwear on her face and then getting sprayed with sticky lemon soda.
Oh well she did deserve it, stealing pens... for shame Twilight, for shame
471861 Twilight: "But... it's for research! I swear!" *shifty eyes*
Yeah Twilight! Go to town on those pens! If she figures out the secret of the ballpoint pen, she could be a rich mare.
So Mr. Human did bring a cellphone with him, a smartphone in fact. I'm actually glad that you didn't have Twilight immediately figuring out how to turn the thing on. There was too much other interesting stuff there, and on the surface something like a deactivated smartphone wouldn't seem quite as important (just like you described it: a little block of metal, glass, and plastic with a few odd symbols and bits on it, but fairly unassuming otherwise).
One question, though. Where was the guy's wallet in all of this? Did he leave it back at the office?
Another fine chapter my friend.
The reactions from Twilight, and the explanation of things by Rarity were awsome! And I pray the Man gets his stuff back alright, that would piss me off if i was him; well then again i suppose he has bigger things to worry about at the moment.
I'm still really appreciating your use of heavly detailed description, and the absence of any mistakes in the passages (good job editoring).
As always looking forward to more.
471996
His wallet was in his pants pocket, and Rarity didn't seem to think it was as interesting as the clothes, so she forgot to tell Twilight about it.
And yes, a smartphone does seem fairly unassuming to the eyes of someone who has never known that level of electronical engineering before.
472017
Thank you very much for your words of praise, and I'll pass on some of it to my team of proof-readers (one for grammar and a few others for general feedback).
472083 Good point there, Cordovan. She would find the clothes more interesting than the little odds and ends tucked into the pockets.
And I agree with Gargoyle above, that one of the strengths of your writing is your use of detailed descriptions to help the reader visualize what is going on. The way you painted Twilight was also pretty interesting. I enjoyed how she was actively having to keep her inner geek in check so that she could stay on task.
I know that you're breaking up your chapters based on conclusions of events in the story, but don't be afraid to make those chapters longer if you need to. I think it'd be a fair guess to say that most of us aren't afraid to read a 5,000+ word chapter (I actually get excited by something that length).
In any event, though, keep up the good writing. I hope we'll get to see this story run its course all the way to the conclusion.
472622 I would love to write a 5000 word chapter, but so far I've just felt like the plot I have planned for each one was sucked dry long before that... I could just put in a bunch of irrelevant filler, but I'd much rather make sure everything I write has a certain amount of significance.
mother of god this story is awesome.
moarmoarmoarMOAR. NAOW.
473058
Gah! Alright alright! *drags himself back to the keyboard*
472768 That's good to hear, that you want to make sure everything you write carries weight in the story. Keep with that mode. The 5000 word thing was just a thought. Don't ever sacrifice quality for the sake of quantity, though I think you already know that. Keep being awesome!
472768 yeah, I know what you mean. As much as I loved "end of ponies" the last few chapters... well lets just say you can almost get away with reading every third paragraph. Also didn't he carry around a laptop or tablet in his bag? *goes to check chapter 1*
Edit: Ah, no it says he has one but it doesn't say he carries it around with him.
474015 Nope... you must be thinking of the sketchbook.
Really liking where this is going.
Though... does that mean our poor human is now lacking clothes?
474282 Yes... he has some blankets to keep warm though... they're ponies, not monsters.
474288 Excellent explanation, my good sir.
You may proceed.
474347 Who knows... he is after all a unique specimen of an alien species hitherto unknown in this world. He could be dangerous you know... carrying around poison bombs and whatnot.
474410 Bingo! You're the first one to notice! Congratulations! Or at least you're the first to notice and leave a comment about it.
Ah, a chapter from their point of view, nice!
ooh I cant wait to see (or read) the look on twilight's face when that phone gets turned on!
474437
Considering that I've killed the guy who said it in at least a dozen playthroughs, I'd be hard pressed not to notice.
475745 So far I'm just sort of writing whenever I have time and putting up new chapters when I can.
477624 Click the two little speech bubbles in the top right corner of the comment you want to reply to.
This story is so exciting! and you keep the story at a good pace, keep up the good work!
Danske bronies unite!
I loved reading this story! It's so descriptive and all I can ask is MOARMOARMOARMOARMOAR! I also love how you're replying to almost every single comment instead of just every one in 10 or something.
please, please dont destroy the laptop T.T
482822 Thank you and yes.
484290 Well I should have a new chapter out sometime during this week, and thank you, I do try my best to reply to every comment that warrants a reply.
484308 Sorry what? There's no laptop in the story. There's a smartphone though.
485508 Thank you for not hating my Human in Equestria shameless self-insert fanfiction. I am trying to avoid falling in the typical self-insert pitfalls.
485671 Personally, I think you're doing a good job so far mate.
Eheheh... my post probably sounded more arrogant than intended.
Even though it is a self insert, I like it for the fact that the ponies are examining the clothing and other things. The character is not Gary Sue-ish as well, which is a plus.
491438 I'm happy to hear that, since that's what I'm going for.
Will we be seeing the human-pony interactions from both sides? That is to say, will a future chapter cover the pony's perspective of, for example, the scene in the cell with the teeth and various foodstuffs? I hope that sorta made sense...
Also, can you provide us with a picture of, or at the very least, the model of the smartphone? It's just that, if we know the make and model of the phone, we'd have a better idea of what parts Twilight is specifically looking at...
492524 I have no plans of repeating any scenes from different viewpoints, I merely choose what I think is the best viewpoint for each scene.
As for the phone, there's a cookie for the first person who guesses the make and model of it.
492571 Well, using Google, my best guess would be an Android. Specifically the HTC EVO, or whatever it's called...
492575 Close enough! Cookie for you! It's an HTC Desire S
This fic looks really promesing, can't wait for the next chappter.
Well at least he didn't have one of those portable graphics tablets,
Because then both Twilight and Rarity would be fighting over it...
And then when the battery died they would be sad.
492809 I'm hoping to start writing it soon. I've finally more or less laid it out in my head.
I like this story!
Maybe if it's not to much trouble you could, maybe, update soon? . . . I'll just go now. sorry.
494909 I'm working on it, no need to bring out the flutter-tears.
497212 Thank you very much!
Your story has been tracked. Need more. Now.
535469
I'm try-hy-hy-hying! *sobs and wails*
I really am actually, but I've hit a bit of a slump. I have what seems to be good ideas for the next chapter I need to work on, but I've all but rammed straight into a huge writer's block for this one. And I don't want to release a sub-standard chapter by just wailing on my keyboard and posting whatever the result is.
You have peaked my interest, hope you get out of that slump...
If you find yourself stuck, try reading other HiE fics, they can give a bit of inspiration.
anyway....
encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS2LzVFCobWfL8BsYb_Ni4RH9JcbXT1xUZnDmOIly1DkSrUfRrS
HURRY UP BLARDDrstddrrder!
a> run update.exe
What a wonderful piece of work, I love the level of description you get into and the over all pace of the story. I hope to see more in the near future.
I imagine his getting his phone back, turning it on to play angry birds or something, then having to try and keep Twilight from taking it with her magic.
492586 It was deeply amusing to get to the description of the smartphone and have it be very similar to the HTC android phone I am currently reading the story on.
Lemon soda, such a rare human artifact lol