A New Life, A New Sun
“Xenagos was the first, and he shall be the last,” Heliod, God of the Sun, declared, impaling the dark-haired woman with her own spear. “No champion should eclipse their god.” Godsend shattered in a brilliant shower of golden sparkles, leaving the wound it made to bleed out all over the woman’s silver breastplate. The only thing remaining of the holy blade were the two gems that it once held.
As she stood there, speechless and betrayed, she noted the lack of powerful emotions flooding her mind. Rage was strangely missing, but in the back of her mind, she knew that this was a likely outcome of her actions. Stars and nebulae blurred into an indistinguishable canvas of bleeding colors, while every sound around her quieted to nothing more than muffled background noise. Somewhere behind her, she was aware of her friend and ally, Ajani, calling out for her.
Gently, the god pushed his dying warrior over into the shocked Leonin’s white arms. “Quickly, leave Nyx. Return to the mortal realm of Theros, for if she loses her life here, her essence is forfeit. Let Erebos claim her; it is what she wished for.” Golden eyes peered down on the feline fighter with the intensity of the sun, threatening to burn him to cinder should he defy Heliod. Ajania wanted to roar, to strike the god down as heartlessly as he had his friend, but he knew the woman’s time was short. Sneering at Heliod, Ajani and his precious cargo vanished from the god’s sight.
The two arrived at the Temple of the Gods in a wisp of aethereal energy. Suddenly, the towering white columns, pristine altars, and inviting stairs had lost all of their appeal to the feline. Carrying her inside, he carefully laid her down near one of the altars and rested his twin-blade axe on a column.Though Ajani shed no tears, any fighter could see the turmoil playing across his face as he prepared to say his final words to his friend. He grasped her hand tightly, feeling her grip weakening.
Alas, their moment was not to last. As if the drop in temperature wasn't enough to reveal the interlopers, Ajani turned to confirm his suspicions. His ears flicked in time with each hollow footstep of his new foes. The Eidolon, mist-like beings born from the souls of those who’d remembered their time in the Theros’s underworld, stalked ever closer to the cat warrior. The only reason for their presence here was Elspeth, which meant that Erebos had sent them here to claim the planeswalker for his own. That was something he would not allow.
Luckily, the dark, ghostly figured hadn’t seen them yet. Ajani clenched the handle of his weapon and prepared to take advantage of his unknown status to take them out. Tensing his legs for the pounce, he hoped to feel the familiar rush of adrenaline coursing through his battle-worn body, but instead all he received was a rough touch on his shoulder.
Whipping around, Ajani leveled his axe at the one who had chosen to blindside him. “Brimaz...” he said breathlessly, fatigue entering his voice as his body came down from its building adrenaline rush. The beige-furred king stood there, his blue and gold robes swaying lightly, lifted by a weak draft.
“We knew that you’d return here when your business with the gods was concluded. This is what the human wanted, Ajani. You cannot hope to fight off Erebos’s spectres in your state and we--” Brimaz gestured to the other Leonin who’d accompanied him, “-- do not have your magics to deal with them. You didn’t even notice our presence. You’d be dead in an instant.”
Brimaz could see Ajani’s lips furrow in protest. However, having seen their closeness first hand, he knew that his Leonin brother wouldn’t agree with the decision to leave her behind. But he didn’t need to agree.
Before Ajani could form a word or even retaliate, one of the king’s cat warriors fell upon him, knocking him to the floor with a swift blow to the back of the head. With the last of his strength, he reached out towards his friend’s still form, her mouth working in silent prayer. He felt Brimaz whisk him up, spiriting him away from the temple as darkness overtook him.
Eidolons surrounded her body as she prayed to Heliod, once more, hoping to finally find peace. The god had betrayed her, but she understood. Fear, not malice, drove the sun to do what he did. He was still a good god to the people of Theros, and, up until recently, had given her a place to belong. In Elspeth’s mind, it made sense to ask him one final time for that which she yearned to have. As her life ebbed away and the spirits’ wispy hands touched her body, she also prayed for Daxos and that he would find happiness with his new life.
---*****---
Erebos sat on the throne of the Underworld running his clawed fingers over the woman's deathmask. The little thing was fashioned in a manner that it would look reminiscent of her face while using the two gems from Godsend as eyes. She’d gotten what she wanted, he’d gotten what he wanted, and Heliod had gotten what he wanted. And that’s the part that irked him to no end. Despite his outward demeanor, his brother banishing him to this plane still brought with it waves of vengeful thoughts. Erebos knew why the sun god wanted her dead, and it wasn’t his place to interfere. Besides, she had promised her soul to him.
He still didn’t like it, though. Once again, his brother had come out on top. Heliod was still the chief god; Xenagos’s ascension and subsequent fall hadn’t shifted the status quo at all like he wanted it to. He stopped fumbling with the artifact in his hands and stared down at it intently. He could change it, though. Helios killed her in an attempt to trap her soul in the underworld where she wouldn’t be a threat to the pantheon.
The mortal had managed to defeat the satyr-god and restore balance to Theros. A mere mortal, but she was of the same make as Xenagos, a planeswalker. Helios didn’t want another upstart god trying to claim power. A smirk spread across the death god’s face. With a turn of his palm and a flick of his starry robes, he had her soul in the palm of his hands.
He could feel it, what brother was afraid of. The potential was there. She was close as well. She’d never reach her destiny locked away here, though. Reaching into her power, he mentally grasped at the treads that allowed her to walk the multiverse freely, pulling on her power as if it were his own; he’d never be able to use the spark for himself, but he didn’t need to.
For a moment, Erebos wondered what he was doing. Was he showing pity on the mortal? No, he simply did this to spite Heliod. Mortals were predictable; she would recover, train, strengthen, then return. He was just keeping the constant power play on Theros going. She would be his ace in the hole when the time came. Tugging powerfully, he jump-started her planeswalking ability and infused a sliver of his necromantic powers into her soul, just enough to give her what she’d need. As her soul slipped away, Erebos glimpsed infinity. The worlds she’d seen, the battles she’d waged. Perhaps getting her off of Theros was for the best? “Go now, claim new life and purpose,” the god muttered to himself, watching the last wisps of her soul depart for the space between worlds.
Her deathmask crumbled, reducing itself to dust while the twin eye orbs both dematerialized, following the soul. At that, Erebos’s raised an eyebrow. It seemed that Theros refused to leave the woman alone.
---*****---
Today was like any other day on Sweet Apple Acres; hard work and profit! A gentle breeze filtered through the branches of the expansive orchard, bringing with it the scent of perfectly ripe apples and crystal clear waters. Glossy red fruit drew the eyes just as much as the perfectly maintained barns and the large home situated in the middle of the land. Celestia’s sun hung high over the farm, basking the trees in warm life-giving rays while at the same time nearly killing anypony unlucky enough to be caught outside. At least, according to Apple Bloom, it was.
Tiny hooves slammed into one of the many tree trunks under their care, knocking apples into the baskets beneath their branches. Apple Bloom brushed a foreleg across her face. She was baking under the noon sun, but they were almost done for today. Having just filled three more bushels, all she needed was three more, and then the filly could call it a day and hang out with her friends. “That’s three more down, Mac!” she called out with a southern twang.
Crouching down, she took advantage of her earth pony strength and hefted the apples onto her back. “I’m going to start taking these back and bringing out new baskets. Is that alright?”
“Eeyup!” Came her brother’s powerful, signature reply. “Careful though, I heard a crash earlier, sounded like something in the barn fell over.”
“Yessiree!” She snapped a silly little salute in the direction of her older brother’s voice and went about her business.
Trekking back to the barn with what the filly figured was her body weight in apples was arduous, at least it would have been to somepony who wasn’t an Apple. Apple Bloom, however, marched on without a care in the world as if nothing were holding her down. It was a short trot from the line of trees back to the barn she needed to deposit her harvest in. If she didn’t live on the farm, she would have forgotten the looming, bright red, wooden structure was even here, seeing as it was such a new addition to their facilities. The voices of her kinfolk bounced around inside her head, echoing the song they sang while putting it together.
Opening the door, Apple Bloom took a cautious step inside. She winced from the jaw-grinding squeal of metal on metal from the crap hinge they had bought from the town blacksmith. “Why won’t anypony handle that?”
She hadn’t even made it fully inside the structure before her sixth sense started firing off like a gatling gun. Something was wrong with the barn. Her eyes darted around the room, picking up on every little detail they scanned over. Big Mac's ponnequin was toppled over, its ensemble tossed every which way. The hay was disturbed. Many of the bales were completely overturned or burst apart, leaving the dry plant strewn about like a tornado had blown through the barn. It was bright, much too bright for a roofed building with so few windows to let in light.
Apple Bloom’s eyes landed on a particularly thick beam of light and slowly traveled upwards, her leg twitching every time a broken strut or a shattered piece of timber passed through her sight line. Eventually, her gaze stopped on the roof, where it could go no further. Normally that would be the case, but normally there wasn't a gaping hole in the roof.
“Horsefeathers!” Apple Bloom shouted, just knowing that Applejack would somehow blame this on her.
Shuffling in the pile of hay underneath the damage pulled her mind out of its imaginary land of strange, outlandish punishments. Dropping to her belly, she let her load slide to the ground and gingerly entered the barn proper. “H-hello? Is there anypony in here?” For a moment, the entire world went silent. No wind, no bird calls, nothing. Everything waited for an answer.
Another shuffle, followed by a pained moan answered the filly. “B-Big Mac!” Apple Bloom shouted at the top of her lungs, backpedaling out as fast as her little legs could carry her.
It didn’t take long for the burly pony to respond to her cries. The second he arrived on the scene, Apple Bloom took a place behind his one of his thick back legs. “What’s the matter?”
“Somep-pony. In the hay.”
Big Mac snorted at the idea of some bum sneaking a good night’s sleep in their barn and being foolish enough not to hightail it at the crack of dawn. While he had no plans for violence, he did plan on making whoever was over their pay for the hospitality they’d been given. Ignoring the disarray around him, he readied himself for anything and trotted over to where the trespasser was supposed to be.
What he found wasn't quite what he expected. Covered from the neck down by an elegant, white hooded cloak was an equally as white pegasus mare with a dark chocolate colored mane. He reached out to try and wake the mare with a gentle touch on the shoulder, but his hoof met with an unyielding barrier and the familiar clang of metal. That little touch was all it took to cause the mare’s eyelids to snap open.
Light brown met green as both ponies peered into each other's eyes. Grunting, she rolled over, revealing her silver and gold armor along with the large bloodstained gash across her chestpiece.
“Apple Bloom.” His voice was soft, yet stern, offering no room for questioning. “Go and find Applejack. Tell her to get Miss Fluttershy over here.” When the sound of hooves beating against soil failed to reach his ears Big Mac whipped his head around and gave Apple Bloom a look that could blast the top off of a mountain. “Now!” he said louder, startling his sister into action.
When he turned this attention back to the injured mare, she was trying to sit up. “Whoa, hold up now.” He nearly shouted in surprise. Rushing to her side and placing a hoof on her shoulder, he gently but firmly pushed her back down into a resting position. “You’re hurt, so you need to stay still.”
She simply looked up at him, confused and disorientated, chest heaving in panic. She tried to fight his touch despite her bodies refusal to cooperate, her attempts at thrashing coming off more like a dog’s squirm than anything. Big Mac flashed her a disarming smile. “It’s ok… I’m not going to hurt you, miss. You got a name?”
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she ceased her struggles and let her body fall into rest. Her breathing slowed, terror being replaced by fatigue. He’d ask her for something. A name. She could at least give that before the unconsciousness came over her.
“E-Elspeth...”
Ooh! FiMFiction needed more Elspeth. I'm following this story.
4812511
Thank you for the follow! And yes, I plan to Elspeth this place up!
Insta-like because Elspeth. Nuff' said. Still, fimfiction also needs more crazy-possesed Garruk and wicked Jace.
aaand you turned her into a pony
aaand you turned her into a pony
If the spark was used she wouldn't of transformed into a pony. I mean it doesn't transform you into the primary race on that plane.
There were a couple words you repeated in there but Imma trust you'll work on that.
I look forward to more chapters
"....but his hoof metal with an unyielding barrier ..."
I assume this is supposed to be "met with"
I always figured Heliod was going to be a jerk. Sure, I have a deck devoted to the guy, but that doesn't mean I like him. Honestly it wasn't a surprise when he betrayed Elspeth.
Hm... I'm not one for these 'Human turns to pony stories', but I'll admit that I'm liking this one so far. A few spelling errors, but asides from that it quite good. I'm going to have to be sure to keep my eye on this. Until next time,
-Sphinx
4813782 Hehheh, Devoted.
That said, I will add only this: Ajani, Mentor of Heroes is best 'Jani.
Please continue.
found a mastake on the front page
do you mean back
4814615
That was in the summary... Thank you so much! Having bad errors in a summary is a turn off for many people.
4813663
Fixed. Thank you so much!
4812974
4812821
Sorry! Will you give the story a few more chapters to see if you can handle it though?
4813541
Repeated like "to to" or repeated as in I used the same phrase or word too often?
4814714 ferret likes it since means yay. I was the other skeptic.
4813033
I know exactly what the spark does. I also know that it's limits were almost as endless as the Blind Eternities themselves. Anyway, Elspeth's body is dead and Erebos is going to keep it. He only forced her soul to planeswalk.
In the olden days before the Mending, Planewalkers were like Doctor Manhattan. Immortal beings of pure energy. They were gods, they could do anything that they wanted to do almost. What I did here was remove Elspeth's body from the equation. It took planeswalkers a conscious effort and a long time to reconstitute a new body the first time they needed to. Elspeth isn't a master of human anatomy, and the spark is no longer strong enough to sustain her as a being of dispersed energy.
So it did what it could with what it had. It used Equestria's mana to fashion her a pony body then used her sense of self to add the finishing touches which is why she's a pegasus and why she's still hurt and has her armor.
Is it a perfect explanation? No. Is it possible in MTG? Yes. I'm sorry that you don't agree with what I've done here. I will be taking liberties with canon on both sides, but I try to keep it within the realm of shenanigans that the writers of MTG's books would do.
4813782
Thank you for looking past the element that you didn't like and finding the story enjoyable. I hope I can keep you interested with future chapters.
4814714
You're apologizing to both of us?
I actually like ponies, fyi
4814822
I see that now... I just know that ponification seems to have a pretty big list of people who hate it on this site. I kinda jumped the gun.
4814835
I wouldn't say it's a big list so much as a noisy one.
In your summary of the story, we find this:
Now, I assume you mean an instead of and but if you did mean and for some reason, you might want to change the tense of the next word to present tense. That way it will look like this: When Big Macintosh finds and injures a pegasus mare in the Apple Family's new barn. It just flows better when everything is in the same tense.
But of course, I know you meant my former suggestion.
It's an interesting start, and a better 'end' for Elspeth, compared to how Wizards alluded to the fact that she would return as one of the Returned.
However, there are more than a few errors that make it difficult to stay immersed. The problems aren't spelling-related, except maybe occurring because of spellcheck. Don't just rely on that.
4815169
4815266
Thank you both for the feedback. I caught that little error in the summary and fixed it right up.
As for spellcheck, I know it's unreliable, often changing from website to website. Which is why I always add words and such when needed, but I also know that processors aren't perfect for grammar and such which is why I'm also looking for a small team of editors and prereaders to help with grammar and ideas.
4814803 now I understand.
4815551
Excellent! I'm glad that I didn't totally butcher that.
Elspeth's alive! (And she is the savior of at least one universe.)
A promising start. You have this weirdly inconsistent syntactic problem where you sometimes don't conjugate verbs or pluralize nouns, and there are a few extraneous "the"s floating around. You need a proofreader, but aside from those minor concerns, this looks like it's going to be fun. I look forward to more.
This is one of those things I never realized I wanted until it was out there.
Apart from the typos (if that's what they are,) it's solid storytelling and shows promise. Not perfect... but not bad, either.
It feels like it could just be... a tad more lively? Perhaps a little too much tell and not enough show? It's only one chapter so far, though, so do take my thoughts with a pinch of salt.
--/10 - "I Possibility Storm my Ornithopter into... Emrakul, the Aeons Torn!"
-That guy with a White-Blue token deck, Kenny
4815932
I know. I'm looking for an editor at the moment. Honestly, it's inconsistent because I was doing editing passing on it and released it, but I was sleepy when I did it. That combined with not having another set of eyes on it made releasing this chapter a mistake. I'm editing right now, but I have to leave for now.
Dang if clauses needing the use of infinitive conditionals. It'll be handled to the best of my ability until i get an editor. Thanks for the feedback and I'm glad that you enjoyed the story.
4816171
i agree with this guy, Nothing that can't get cleared up with a bit of practice
also: I now have no permanents, but it is still gonna take you a couple hundred turns to kill me.
-me with a mono-white mass life gain deck
Before I start reading(and I will read it happily) I like the idea of Elspeth in Equestria...but also is she dead? Because I heard that Heliod was a prick and killed her(sorry for spoilers) But insta-like if I do say so myself.
4816171
I'm that guy with a Green/White token deck in Commander.
Rhys, Parallel Lives, Fresh Meat...
4814714 The one where it doesn't make sense
So, the first one lol
Also, this thing
Great, now that I'm looking for repeated words, they suddenly get harder to find
4815169 OH MY GOD HAHAHAHA, that's hilarious! Then he's like, STAY DOWN!
4816224 I'll happily edit for you if you want me to.
This has potential. The story is not unique but is tried and true and can be taken in many directions.
I do find it unacceptable that this was published without having a solid pass of editing. Remember, a spellchecker won't detect typos where the wrong word is used. Like "gently" should be "gentle". It is relatively easy to find an editor here.
4816346
Yep. Heliod killed her, and according to hints dropped by WotC, she is currently forging her golden mask.
The existence of this card, though, gives me hope that not only does Returned!Elspeth regain herself, but also manages to replace Heliod as a benevolent sun goddess. She deserves a break, after all.
4818045 sweet. I knew she would come back...kind of though that some plansewalkers helped her come back to life but still
Yeah, I'm liking this so far. A few minor errors, but nothing too damaging.
The inner geek in me wants to have my Elspeth next to me when I read this, but then my brain tells me that's fucking stupid. It's just paper.
You should get a pre-reader/editor. A number of errors plague this chapter, and, while not hugely annoying, it is distracting to some degree.
don't know who most of the characters are outside of the MLP side of things but I'm definitely interested
btw first paragraph,
shouldn't that be plural?
I just noticed the romance tag...
Please tell me this doesn't mean what I think it does...
4820096
What do you think it means?
4819504
The fact that I could catch your interest even though you aren't familiar with Magic:The Gathering puts a pretty big smile on my face. If you'd like I can link you to her wiki page, it'll lead you to even more stuff about her, but you may spoil stuff for yourself.
4820301 nah its fine, i tried the TCG a bit but i didnt stick to it for long. I think ive read a few stories that had characters from Magic the Gathering, but at the moment i cant remember them.
as for interest, pegasi is my favorite race and i love finding stories with them as the primary protagonist, and I do like human turned pony stories ^^
now only to see if you do well in future chapters, so far your writing is good, and easy to read. looking forward to more chapters
4820291
That you're going to pair Elspeth with a character from MLP
But don't get me wrong, it's not a bad idea at all... Well... Depends on the character.
By the way, I noticed a typo in your summary:
I personally hate Theros, it is a useless sidetrack on the road to dealing with the problem, and that problem is not Garruk going kill happy, or Nicol Bolas scheming, or the Eldrazi doing something, we need to deal with New Phyrexia and we need to deal with it Now.
I'm following this story, this will be a fun ride.
4821903
Is that really still there? I changed it and saved the changes. It says back on my screen.
4823027
I don't think it's useless. While I agree that New Phyrexia is the big threat, they are just that. The big threat. Dealing with them will be held back for the climax or other monumental events. The rest of this is character building subplot. Elspeth and Koth tried, they really did, but no one is anywhere near the level of power needed to handle the Phyrexians.
I remember when they went after Yawgmoth in the old days back when planeswalkers were gods. They still nearly got bodied by Phyrexia. New Phyrexia's greatest strength is its greatest weakness now. They used to be a monotone, creeping threat, now they are dynamic. Driven to compleat based on the perverted sense of perfection of some powerful individuals.
These new walkers are nowhere near prepared to deal with this. At least they don't have artificial planeswalking tech yet. But when they rediscover it... oh boy.
4823810
Weird, it still says 'bad' on mine. No clue why though. It's only on the short description, by the way, if that helps at all.
4823834
Yeah you are right, I still remember that thy needed five editions (Mirage, Tempest, Urza's, Masques, Invasion if I am not mistaking) just to get rid of the first Phyrexia, the thing I am most scared of is, thy never told what happened to the body of Venser, did Karn took his body away from New Phyrexia or did he leave it there.
Elspeth's original body in the hands of Erebos is a minor thing to be concerned about, but the body of Venser in the hands of New Phyrexia, now that is a horror from beyond space and time.
A Phyrexian planeswalker, now that gives me nightmares.
I cant favorite this twice what the hell this is the story I have literally been waiting for forever. Thank you author for bringing us this masterpiece. I am such a fan of both MLP and Magic so thank you.
A MTG fic? Dammit! Why did I find this a minute before work? I'm gonna read this so hard when I get back.
Edit: Doing good, I'm liking it. I really don't know where this is going though. From the summary it feels like a slice of life but what Erebos said made it seem that this may turn into a adventure/battle fic. Maybe it will? Maybe The adventure/battle parts are being saved for a sequel? Maybe I'm looking too much into it~ IDK, whatever happens I'll stay tuned.